Chapter 11: Easter

Sam fussed with the tight collar on his button up shirt, not the least aided by the equally tight necktie that Cas had insisted he wear. Apparently this Sunday was more important than the other Sundays in the year (except maybe Christmas), because normally Sam didn't have to wear a tie to church. He hated wearing ties; they made his neck feel too small for his head. He waited on the couch in the living room as he heard Cas finish up forcing Dean into his outfit-something Dean had tried numerous times to avoid.

Cas had won though, "Dean, I know it is not attractive in your mind but it would mean a lot to me if you wore it. Please?" Castiel was proud of himself for using guilt in his favor-instead of just feeling it when he knew he had misread a situation and failed to act in the boys' best interests. Dean huffed, conceding to wear the outfit.

Sam heard Dean's heavy footsteps as the nine-year old plodded down the stairs. When Sam glanced over at Dean he almost let out a laugh-but didn't, knowing what his brother would do if he did (and he had no desire for a noogie). Dean looked even more uncomfortable than he did. Not only had Cas gone through nearly a quarter of a bottle of hair gel attempting to get Dean's hair to stop pointing straight upward, but the comb-over he'd forced Dean's hair into looked like something that belonged on a middle-aged science teacher. Dean's outfit was just as bad as Sam's. Cas had gotten matching outfits at the mall-apparently they'd had a sale. Both boys were wearing green pants, a beige button down, and argyle sweater vests with a green tie. Dean thought he looked like a damn leprechaun.

"One word and I swear I will end you." Dean glowered, but didn't mean it. Sam knew Dean would never actually hurt him, the tough guy thing was mostly an act, and Dean had never done anything worse than give a noogie to Sam.

Sam rolled his eyes as Cas walked in. He was also dressed up for the occasion, wearing his usual suit with the addition of a vest and pocket square.

"So, why do we have to dress up like this anyway? We go to church every week and I never have to look like this normally." Dean fussed with his shirt, the tag scratching the back of his neck.

"Because today is Easter." Cas was beaming, for some reason.

"So? We already ate our candy." Dean glanced again over at the empty basket. Cas had gone all out, he even figured out what type of chocolate was Dean's favorite-milk chocolate with a marshmallow center.

Castiel looked surprised for a moment. "Dean, we have been discussing this for weeks. Today is the day of Christ's resurrection, without which humans could not ever get into heaven." Castiel made a mental note to not use 'humans' next time, as Dean looked a bit curious at his word choice.

"Oh yeah." Dean hadn't had much experience with the whole 'churchgoer' thing. Before Cas he and Sammy never went, Dad wasn't exactly a huge fan of the big guy-if there was one-after what had happened to Mom. He felt a bit guilty about not really listening, it mattered to Cas, but Dean wasn't sure if he could believe in some guy in white with magic powers. Especially if those powers couldn't save his parents.

The church service was a lot longer than normal. So long that Sammy had to pee twice. Dean volunteered to take him so he didn't have to sit through the service the whole time. Cas agreed, he always seemed to glow when he was at church and loved listening to whatever Pastor Gerald said. The second time the two decided to take the long way to the bathroom, taking a break by the water fountain.

"How much longer do we have? I'm bored and I don't think I can drink enough to have to pee again." Sam said between gulps at the fountain.

"Heck if I know. There isn't a clock anywhere around here. According to the bulletin we're almost at the end, only another hymn and then closing." He glanced at the thick paper folded over on itself, leafing through the end announcements to see if anything interesting was coming up.

Sammy finished up drinking at the fountain and stepped off the stepstool. He looked like he was thinking hard about something-a face Dean knew all too well-before he unscrunched his nose and spoke, "Dean, is God real?"

Dean's eyes grew to the size of dinner plates as he slowly turned to face Sammy. "Uh… I…" he stuttered, unsure of what to say.

Sammy sat down on the stepstool, "Because Cas says that God is real and that he loves us and he has angels keeping us safe, but if that's true then why did Mom and Dad die? Did we do something wrong? Did I do something wrong? I mean, they told us in Sunday School that God punishes sins, did we… Did we sin bad enough for Mom and Dad to die?" The young boy looked like he was on the verge of tears; he held his head between his hands as he sat on the stool.

"Sammy, come on…" Dean placed a hand on Sammy's shoulder, but the young boy didn't look up.

"I love uncle Cas, but I miss Dad. Why did God let him die?"

Dean stood silent, sitting down next to his brother, his small sneakers squeaking against the linoleum in the church corridor. They were silent as they heard the organ finish and Pastor Gerald bless the congregation. Dean stared forward as Sam looked down at his feet.

A shuffle of feet left the sanctuary, with one pair headed in their direction, "There you are! Please do not disappear again. The service finished and I was concerned where you were." Castiel rounded the corner to the boys before slowing down, noticing how both Sam and Dean looked despondent on the floor. He frowned, confused. He felt a slight twinge in his chest, as if he was suddenly feeling what the two felt. It was strange. He was not sure he liked it.

Castiel sat down between the two, facing them and gently spoke, "What is wrong?"

Sam looked up, eyes glistening, "Uncle Cas, when I sinned did that make Dad die?"

Castiel felt as if someone had suddenly yanked on that twinge and taken a good chunk of his chest with it. He had never before felt such strong emotion. "No, Sam." He gently placed a hand on the boy's shoulder, bringing him in for a hug-physical contact mattered much to the young boy, it was the best way to comfort him. "John did not die for your sins. John's death was something none of us saw coming. Your sins have not caused harm to anyone, and I do not intend them to ever do so." Castiel thought a moment, even if that does mean I resist the plan I was told to enforce.

"Well it still fucking sucks." Dean glanced at the far wall, not caring if he cursed. He'd been good the last few months, but honestly it felt good to let loose an f-bomb every once in a while. Especially when he meant it.

Castiel bristled slightly at the curse, but he understood the sentiment. "Dean, no one knows God's plan. Not even most of the angels, as much as they may want to." Castiel wished he could commune with his father, but it had been a long time since he had been able to. "Everything happens for a reason. I know your father's death was hard on you-it was not easy for me either-but out of it something good has happened." Castiel watched as Dean turned toward him slowly, trying to fight back tears, "Without that dark day I would have never met you. We would never be a family, have this life together. I love you both like my own sons and I… I just want to make sure that you both can live good lives." Castiel did not care if it was not fully in line with the plan he had been told. Both Dean AND Sam deserved good lives. He would make it his mission that the two would never need to be this sad or confused again, that they would never have to fight.

No one was going to hurt these boys any more than they already had been.

Dean quickly hugged Cas and Sammy before letting go and standing up, wiping at his eyes with his sleeve. "Alright, enough tears. Let's go eat our weight in ham at Bobby's."

"It appears as though our faithful warrior has decided to rebel against the plan. I am disappointed, though I cannot say I am surprised. Our brother has always been weak, prone to human sentimentality."

"Perhaps we can correct his path, intervene and speak with him to stop his actions. He is of little use here, and if we can have him doing this it prevents the waste of another angel-as well as the necessary altering of the Winchester's memories. Besides, you know as well as I do that he is easy to control."

"Very well, we will watch for now and intervene when possible. Our younger brother needs guidance, and possibly discipline for his actions."