Chapter 11 : Those Three Words

I was once again in Ashley's car, parked in front of my house. She was wrapped in my arms as I softly stroked her hair with my fingers. It had been a great night. She wanted to go to the movies so that's where we went. Right after the lights went off at the beginning of the movie she wrapped her arm around me and layed her head on my shoulder. I was a bit shocked. That was a lot of PDA and she didn't seem to mind one bit. I softly kissed the top of her head as she snuggled even more into me. The movie lasted about two hours and she didn't move. At all. My arm was so numb you have no idea.

"I like your fingers." She whispered. I was so lost in my own thoughts that I barely heard her.

"What?" I said just as softer.

"I like your fingers." She said again, this time looking at me but still playing my fingers.

I couldn't help but laugh. "Talk about random."

"Shut up." She said narrowing her eyes.

"Make me" I challenged. And she did. She kissed me so deep that I felt like I was getting lost in everything that was her. I never felt like this and it was a bit scary. We pulled back for air a bit after that ans she pressed her forehead against mine. "Do you love me?"

My eyes shut open. "What?" She was looking at me like she never has before. I was trying to read her but I couldn't. Hell I've only known this girl for a couple of months, how was I supposed to know where this was coming from.

"Do you love me?" She asked again this time a bit more confident with herself.

I looked into her eyes and I knew she was serious. And at that moment I knew what to tell her.

"Yes." I looked at her and she smiled at me. Maybe I was pushing my luck with this but I needed to at least ask her if I meant something to her. That I wasn't just some kind of experiment. So I did.

"Ash?" I whispered. I wasn't really trusting my voice.

"Yeah?"

"What exactly are we?" And right there I knew I made a mistake. The way her eyes widened. The way she was just looking at me without saying anything. She wasn't expecting me to ask her that. That or she didn't want to deal with it. Or maybe it was the way she snapped at me.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" She almost yelled. "Why can't you just enjoy what we have without wondering what it means?"

And that made me snap too.

"Because I'm falling for you okay?! Because the more time I get to spend with you just makes me want to spend so much more time with you!" I stopped and closed my eyes, trying to calm down. I rubbed my forehead a bit as I whispered the last part. "Because each time I want to kiss you I'm scared you'll turn me down and ask me what the fuck I'm doing. I know you have a boyfriend and I know you won't leave him for whatever this is." I gesture between me and her to get her to get my point. "I'd just like to know what I mean to you."

That last part seemed to have taken her by surprise. I even dared to look at her and I saw that her eyes had softened a bit.

"Spence, if you want to kiss me just do it. If you want something, just -"

I didn't even let her finish what she was trying to say. I don't know what got into me but for the first time in my life I made a move. I kissed her long and hard and the moan that came out gave me the courage to make another move. Ashley ended up pressed in the driver's door with me half on top of her. Both of my hands ended up in her hair as the kiss deepened. The noises coming out of her were starting to turn me on even more and I slowly moved my right hand down to her neck, past her breast without touching them and then slowly down her tight and moving just as slowly back up.

She arched into me and I pulled back a bit only to be able to look in her eyes. If we kept this up I knew where it would lead. And I just needed to know something. "Are you sure?"

She looked at me and blinked a few times. She was breathing heavy and I found it adorable. "Just kiss me." She whispered and pulled me back on top of her. My hand kept on moving up and down her leg but each time coming closer to her center. This was definitely a first for me. My eyes snapped open as I felt her fingers moving. I pulled back to find her unzipping my hoodie. I looked at her only to find her brown eyes darker than I ever saw them. She pulled me back on top of her again. Right before I fell down on top of her I felt her tentatively cup my breast. She was making a move just like I was. I was overwhelmed by what she was making me feel and my hand had a mind of its own.

I don't know what go into me but I found myself rubbing her center above her jeans. Sex wasn't exactly new to me but having sex in such a small car wasn't really easy. But with the sounds she was making I knew I was doing rather well.

"Spence, wait!" She whispered and I stopped everything.

"Fuck, I'm sorry. I don't know -"

"Hey. Don't. I'm just not comfortable." I just looked at her, not really knowing what it meant. "Let's move this to the backseat." With that being said she got up and moved between the two front seats to go sit in the backseat. I followed her and as soon as I was next to her, her lips found mine and we were right back where we left off.

Her lips moved to my neck as my fingers unzipped her jeans and my hand found its way into her underwear. Her moans filled her car and the windows were starting to fog. But then something clicked in my head. This was wrong. I wasn't ready for this. My hand stopped moving and i pulled back from the kiss. I opened my eyes to find her eyes already on me. I got off of her and sat back down next to her.

"I can't do this."

A/N Second and last update of the day. This story is done writing so I'll just have to update as soon as I can!!!