Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or the characters.

Warnings: Profanity (Romano's POV – 'need to say more?) and human names used.

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Chapter 11

Rephrasing and Confessing

The ending theme brought me back to reality.

Damn, I feel tired! I could just sleep here... which doesn't seems to be a good idea...

Even thought I was uneasy for being sitting on Spain's lap at first, it seems I ended up relaxing and forgetting about it. His arms are still firmly around my torso- ... but when did I let my hands slip on top of his...? D-Dammit! O-Okay, I'll just quietly remove them and no one needs to know...

… There.

"Hmm~." I felt Spain nuzzling his face in my hair.

… Please, tell me he's asleep...

"¿Estás despierto, Lovi?" he whispered against my neck.

… Forget it...

"Sì..." I whispered back.

"Hmm~."

What should I do?

"... Y-You didn't felt asleep this time, hmm...?" I'm such an idiot. I mean, why the hell I'm making small talk?

"Haha~! If you want to hold my hand, you can do it with me awake, you know~?"

"W-What? S-Shut up, dammit!"

He laughed, saying nothing back.

I looked over to my left to see my brother curled up in the other bastard's chest, both of them asleep. … I had forgotten they were there, actually... And I'm not very pleased by the proximity of them both but, I mean, they are just sleeping...

"Should we wake them up, Lovi?" Spain caught me looking at them.

"Hmm... I guess there's no point in it... and we don't have enough rooms, anyway..."

"Two rooms seem enough..." he hold onto me tighter.

"O-Oi! W-What the hell are you implying, you pervert!"

"Hmm...? I was going to say you could stay with your brother again and me and Germany should decide among ourselves who would stay in the other room and who would stay in this sofa~... If anyone had any pervert thoughts, that was you, Lovi~." he sang oddly quietly but when I turned myself to see his face the fake innocence was spread all over it.

"S-Shut it, dammit!" I was now turned to the side, so I only had to look straight forward to escape his green gaze... but since I had the two sleeping morons right in front of me, it wasn't of much help for me to relax. Not to mention I could still see Spain's smile by my peripheral vision.

He chuckled against my ear after a moment. "Well, either way, we should go to sleep~."

Yeah, right! The last time I told you that you ended up with a big pile of white flags filled boxes on top of you- which are still laying around on the floor upstairs! And I completely forgot to mention what happened to my brother! Well, that'll have to wait again since he's asleep right now...

… He looks really happy and peaceful... Feliciano, I mean... and the other bastard too...

... Spain asked if I ever thought about being happy like that myself...

… When he talked about chances... when he talked about people waiting, people that need to know... he was talking about himself, right? Who else could he be talking about, I mean? Has he really... been waiting for me... does he really need to know... what, what does he need to know...?

"Lovino?" his voice was just a soft whisper and I'm not even sure if he was talking to himself or actually calling me... but I turned towards him either way...

… God! His eyes! That piercing green never seemed so bright, so bold, so... sure.

In an heartbeat (literally), he had pressed me against him, arms still firmly pressed around my torso in a determined embrace. It surprised me, quite frankly... since I was expecting something else..., and, after a while, I thought he would notice if I suddenly hugged back so I didn't do it... but I didn't fought back either...

"I know you told me not to take advantage of this, but..." I could feel his heart beat faster. "... if you let me... it's... it's not taking advantage, right...?"

"W-What you're talking about, d-dammit?" I asked, even though I have an idea of what he may mean by that.

Just as I started to adjust myself to his body heat, he pulled us apart so he could see my face. His own seemed serious, which for him it means too damn serious. It's starting to bother me... I'm not saying it's a bad thing, but it's not often than someone gets to see him like this.

"Lovino." he positioned his hands on the sides of my face. "I-If you don't want me to, I won't do it. E-Even as much as I want to, I won't if you really don't want me to. A-And I really want, it's just-"

"You didn't seemed so concerned about my permission yesterday, bastard!"

… Okay, so maybe I should have kept quiet, but I really wanted him to shut his yap for a moment.

Seeing him like this makes me notice I want him to be... him. Spain doesn't ask for my permission. He just... does what he feels he should do. Sometimes, who am I kidding, most of the times it isn't appropriate but... it's him, dammit! If there's going to be someone, I want it to be Spain. There. You have it. It's that isn't it? Spain. Just Spain and all his 'bastardness', d-dammit!

"L-Lovi?" he's looking at me with an odd look on his face. "I'm sorry if I-"

"Besides, you should know there's no point in asking my permission. I mean, you never did, being the bastard you are! Why do you ask now?" he saw it as a rhetorical question. "You do what you feel is right. I do what I want. If there's a conflict of interests, you already know you ain't getting the best of me. Period."

He gave me a thoughtful expression. I bet he didn't understood a thing of what I just said.

"So... you're saying I can do what I feel like doing for as long as you want~."

"W-Wait! You're rephrasing it wrong, dammit! I'm saying you should do what you feel like doing and I do what I want."

"What if what I feel is what you want?"

"..."

You're still rephrasing it wrong, bastard! Actually, you're ignoring words and everything!

"What I feel..." he took hold of my right hand and pressed it against his throbbing chest. "...do you want it?"

"..."

"This feeling can only be yours. Will you accept it, Lovino?"

...

Chigigi! Do I even know the answer to that? I opened my mouth to say something, anything, but a weird pant came out instead. Dammit, Spain!

Oh God! Even if it's him, it's not like I'm going to jump into it like an idiot! He goes all head over heels on things! I'm not like that! Well, I'm not usually like that! I'm being as acceptive about this has I can be, he has to slow down! I don't want to get hurt! Because that's what always happens! Then again, I'm not a child any more, as well as he isn't my boss. There's no real political, economical or the hell connotation in his actions, right? I mean, now that I give it some thought, that 'kind of hurt' doesn't make sense! We are both adults and... this is life! But there's still a way of ending up hurt... I need to keep cool about this for my own sake...

"If you're not sure... I can help you..."

You usually only confuse me more... you should know that by now!

"Lovino..."

I thought he was going to keep on talking... but he moved closer instead, closing the space left between us, hands waving through my hair in their own accord. A hope-filled green gaze was the last thing I saw.

So much for keeping cool.

Tentatively, he brushed my lips with his, giving me an odd tinkling sensation in the stomach... and when he actually pressed them together, I couldn't remember what was bothering me just moments ago. He seemed desperate to bringing me closer, although we were practically glued together.

I... D-Dammit! Why does it feel wrong when I think about beforehand, if now it just feels... right?

I could feel his smile when I tried to move us closer myself. He answered to that by dropping his hands to my waist to hold myself against him. I couldn't move away if I wanted to... and doing it didn't even passed my mind... until I felt a small tug on my bottom lip... that... hmm... I mean, I'm not so sure about that! It just seems to fast! So I kept my mouth firmly shut, even thought I didn't moved away... but he ended up doing so himself...

… D-Dammit!

Even my vision made it seemed as I had just dozed off. I don't remember having closed my eyes... much less I recall of being tugging to his shirt so fiercely.

"I'm..." his voice came out a bit faded; he cleared his throat before continuing. "I'm sorry, Lovi, I was so happy you started kissing me back, I guess I thought you wanted more~." he gave a nervous laugh at my still 'I just woke up face'.

My brain was screaming 'What the hell, dammit! I didn't started kissing you back!', but having the evidences so clear before me, I decided I shouldn't lie about. But, of course, I wouldn't admit it either. He seemed to notice.

"Don't worry, Lovi~. I'm very happy!"that bit of information was clearly unnecessary since his smile was clear as water. "And for the time I've been waiting just to be with you like this, I don't mind waiting a little longer until you're ready for more than just little pecks~."

And that was when my brain died.

… No, seriously.

First of all, how long has he been waiting exactly? Because he makes it sound as if for a long, long time, already... which can actually be truth since the memory of he becoming just ever so slightly different towards me is quite smudge by now. I guess... it was about the time he realized I was no longer his 'little henchman' any more...? Is he a masochist or what?

Second of all, 'READY FOR MORE THAN JUST LITTLE PECKS'? I feel like killing him! He makes it sound as... I don't even know! Chigigi! I WASN'T EVEN AWARE I WAS READY FOR 'LITTLE PECKS' OR ANY KIND OF PROXIMITIES FOR THAT MATTER, DAMMIT!

He pulled me for another hug and I just let myself being dragged into it. I feel like a piece of useless mush. As my brain must be, by the way. He pressed his chest against mine this time, supporting his head in my shoulder. Seeing no other option, I did the same. He just hold onto me, hands drifting to my back. I mimicked his action, trying to look as casual as I could.

...

… I just had this crazy thought! I... I think I actually like him, possibly, probably and... hmm... r-romantically speaking...

… God! How embarrassing, dammit! But that's it, right? The flutter in my chest and all the weird stuff... And I don't feel so bad about admitting it as I might have thought. I mean, as long as I only admit it to myself! No freaking way this is going to spread around!

So, that's it, right? I kind of like him possibly- I've got to stop this! I must take a deep breath! There! … I like him in a romantic way.

… I sound so ridiculous! But how else should I put it?

Anyway, Spain probably likes me back... romantically. I mean, if he doesn't, I don't get it, so I'll assume he does... Which means we are on the same boat. Now what?

I guess it must be okay to hug and... kiss... sometimes, then. When nobody's watching, of course! Which reminds me- OH MY FREAKING GODNESS! WE HAVE TWO MORONS SLEEPYNG RIGHT BESIDE US, DAMMIT!

… Then I guess I'll just allow myself to stay quiet and don't freak out about it for once.

Spain and I continued like that for several minutes before I started to feel a huge increase in his heart beatings rate. When it actually started to scare me, he moved his head just so slightly, making our cheeks brush onto one another before leaning closer to my ear...

"Te amo."

…

…

C-C-CHE C-COSA?

"Lovino?" he probably notice I completely froze... and started shaking...

I-I definitively wasn't ready for him to say that, dammit! I-I mean, what should I do? Really, what does he want me to do? Does he expect me to say it back? Does he have any idea of how much pride I've swallowed tonight only?

Quickly, I disentangled myself from him and sloppily manage to get up from his lap. When I reached to the floor, I almost tripped over the air... what's with the dizziness? He hold my hand when he saw me oddly balancing on my feet and I did my best to get his panicky expression out of my thoughts.

Again, what should I tell him? 'I just understood I have feelings for you as well and you already confess me you love me! '?

… Wait. T-That's actually what happened. B-But I can't just tell him that, dammit!

"'L-Long day. 'N-Need to sleep." alright, I don't think talking like a caveman will make him less panicked about this, since I still have my own terrified expression haunting my face, but, at least, he let go of my hand, even if reluctantly.

And he was considerate enough not to follow me upstairs.

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"¿Estás despierto, Lovi?" → "Are you awake, Lovi?"

"Sì..." → "Yes..."

"Te amo." → "I love you."

'C-C-CHE C-COSA?' → 'W-W-WHAT?'

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A/N

I just had to post this before going to bed so (even after spending ages editing this) I'm sorry if I made any silly mistakes. ._.;;;;

The moral of this chapter is 'Never fall asleep on the sofa with people next to you. God knows what they will be doing!' *stares at Feli and Ludwig* /shot

*curls into a ball and burst into flames*

I'm so sorry for this chapters' lame ending, guys, but I have an idea for the end of the story since the beginning, and I just have to end this chapter like that in order to pursue it. And I can assure you I'll do my best for it to be as good as I possible can make it.

There will be about three more chapters by the way. But when I'm done I already have an idea for a SpeRo one-shot. Ffff! I just can't let go of these two~. S2

'In other news', the POV is killing me. Sometimes I forget about it and start narrating like a creepy bystander. xD And then I have to go back and edit it... ''OTL Also, kissing scenes. I'm not satisfied. I mean, how can someone actually describe them (even if this was just a... how should I put it... regular-no-more-than-lips-kiss)? Ffff!

… Sorry, guys! Love you all~. S2 TTwTT

P.S.: I thought I should share that all the '…' you are accustomed to see in my writing is my way of expressing how Lovino got momentary speechless or, let us say, 'brain-dead' (I don't usually use '…' all that much in a third person narrative mode). So, sorry if it gets annoying. ^^;;;;