Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice or any of its characters. They were all made by the amazing work of Tachibana Higuchi.

Note: quick update before I crash into my inevitable dark slumber only to wake up early and overdose on caffeine again -.- Thank you for taking the time to read and review!

~oOo~

Chapter 11:

Natsume's POV

I dragged my feet up the dormatory stairs to my room. I had to pause every once in a while to regulate my breathing. My damn throat felt like in was caving in, closing off my air passage. It was almost like someone had wrapped their hands around my neck and just threatening to squeeze the life out of me.

I walked up the stairs and down the hall to my room a bit faster. I needed to remove this damn mask and relax but refused to do it in the open. I quickly open my room door then slammed it shut sliding down against it until I was firmly sitting on the floor in the dark. I removed my mask, slightly cursing in frustration then concentrated on catching my breath. I attempted to take a deep breaths, but instantly felt like I was being suffocated again. A violently, harsh liquidy feeling cough emerged from my throat. Before I could cover my mouth, I could taste the distinctive coppery flavor of blood on my tongue. Damn it! I needed my pills but felt too weak at the moment to walk to the bathroom. I sighed, then fell over and rested myself on the carpet. I didn't want to think or move. I just wanted to go numb and not deal with this... but what exactly did "this" consist of? Damn Persona, Damn missions, Damn sickness... I could only fight this battle for so long before I lost myself. I closed my eyes and started to envision a replay of Mikan walking towards me in her little cheer uniform this afternoon when all of the sudden my bedroom lights turned on.

"Natsume-kun! What are you doing down there?" I heard Luna yell then saw a shadow standing over my body since my eyes were still closed. F**k my life! Why was she in my room? I was not in the proper condition to deal with her right now.

I gathered my control and calmly spoke. "I'm fine. Just tired. Please start talking so I can rest already."

"Fine! Natsume, what the hell was that all about earlier today at the rally? Do you have any idea how bad you made me look? You should have seen me at the game! I only had one pom-pom! I looked like a retarded lop-sided cheerleader! Oh! And not to mention the only cheerleader who didn't have her jerk of a boyfriend watching her first game! I mean, what the hell Natsume?" she shrieked.

"Anything else you want to add into that rant before I answer?" I needed time to figure out how to phrase this all nicely and not allow her to hit my nerves.

"Actually there is... do you really have a thing for Mikan Sakura? Or do you act the way you do around her out of pity?"

I flinched, opened my eyes, looking up straight into hers and glared. "Luna, tell me exactly what you mean by pity?" I snapped

She laughed in amusement, "Come on Natsume. Everyone knows Mikan pretty much rides the short bus! She's stupid and clumsy and hardly does anything right without having to hurt her brain! Did you know she practiced our routine for 4 weeks straight to the WRONG song? You can't get much stupider than that! I don't know why in the world you'd let her kiss you in front of everybody if you didn't feel sorry for her"

"Are you done now Luna?" I answered fiercely

"Yes... are you expecting me to say something else?"

"No, but I want to make sure that before I waste my breath answering these damn questions that you will have no more" I stated firmly as I pulled myself up and walked over to my bedside table looking for my cell phone.

"Are you looking for this?" she said with a bitchy tone as she held out my phone.

"If you used-"

"Relax! You can check it. I didn't use it. But may I ask when this picture was taken and why are you using it as your wallpaper when you have a girlfriend who can see that crap? Oh my god! You don't actually like her do you?" she fumed.

I snatched my phone from her hand and looked at the picture Mikan had snapped of us that one day I had been helping her with her math homework.. It really did look like I was kissing her cheek even though I had just been saying something...I gave the picture a little head shake then quickly texted Ruka. I slowly took a few breaths in and began to cough again. I walked over to the medicine chest in my bathroom to look for my pills, only to find one left in the bottle. Shit. I swallowed it then held onto the sink briefly for support.

"Natsume, what's the hold up? You have a lot of explaining to do" she said with an impatient tone.

I grunted, feeling my irritation and frustration shooting up through my tolerance level. Walking right back up to her face I snapped, "Luna Koizumi...to start off with, you are the only person I pity... YOU really are a retarded lop-sided cheerleader, who is stupid and clumsy and rides the short bus. It must hurt YOUR brain to think because obviously you don't. If you stopped to think once in awhile before running your mouth, we wouldn't be having this conversation! You know why? No wait! I'll tell you why, because you would have known why I agreed to go out with you in the first place. It was because "I, your jerk of a boyfriend" was actually being a jerk and trying to use you to make the "retard" of the girl he likes notice him! I never liked you in that way Luna and you sure as hell can guarantee this isn't helping" I fired at her. "If I ever hear you talking badly about Mikan anywhere to anyone, you will seriously regret it..." I paused, then sighed, "if you are mad at me, it's understandable and I owe you an apology. You can bash me, beat me whatever, I can deal, but leave Mikan out of this. From what I can tell, she wants nothing to do with me..."

Her face just frowned as she stared at me in silence, then asked, "Wait... so are you breaking up with me?"

I rolled my eyes, "Are you really asking me that?" I seriously wanted to call her stupid again, but I bit my tongue. "Luna, we were never really together, but if you need a clear answer, it's over. Whatever it was, it's over. Can't we just say, I'm a jerk, I'm sorry, end of story?"I said walking her back towards the door.

"You really are a jerk Natsume Hyuuga!" she snapped, trying to give me a look of death.

I shrugged not really caring, "Gotta keep up with my reputation then I guess" I replied as I pulled the door open and saw Ruka and Mikan's scared, surprised faces for a split second and impulsively pulled Luna back towards me so she wouldn't see them and shooed them away behind her back.

"What are you doing Natsume?" Luna asked looking up at me with a shattered look on her face. I sighed. She looked like she was going to have an extreme grudge on all men now because of me... I looked down at her pouty face in front of me and decided that even though I could probably protect the rest of the male species from Luna, I kinda felt bad. I pulled her into an arm's distance type hug and patted her on the back.

"Cheer up kid, its just a minor break up to a pretty nonexistent relationship... not the end of the world. Get some sleep" I tried to say in a reassuring voice.

~oOo~

After Luna stomped out the door, I quickly flipped my phone open and texted Ruka to get back over here. I can't believe he brought Mikan with him. I hoped she didn't hear much of the argument. Better yet, I hoped they missed the whole thing...Oh geez...

I walked into my bathroom and tried to clean myself up before they came back. I heard my door slam shut and took it as Ruka's warning that they were here.

"Er Natsume, I brought Mikan with me because I wasn't sure how bad you were and didn't want to leave you by yourself while I tracked down Persona for your meds as you asked..." Ruka said looking at me with a somewhat guilty expression then at Mikan who was unusually quiet and staring straight into the floor.

"Oi, Polka, if you don't wanna be here you can go. Sorry if we bothered you" I tried to say normally but ended up choking the words out through coughs. I hadn't been around her in 6 weeks so this kinda made me nervous. As glad as I was to see her, it was clear as day on her face that she'd rather be somewhere else.

"It's alright Natsume-kun. I'm already here and I can sit for a few minutes while Ruka gets your medicine and uh... sorry to hear about your breakup with Luna" she replied with a completely awkward looking smile. Ruka looked at both of us with a curious expression and I purposely coughed again and nodded at him. He took the hint and headed out the door. I turned back around to where Mikan had been standing to find she was not there. Unbelievable... I turn for one sec and she poofs. I frustratedly kicked the huge red bean bag that was in the corner of my room and plopped down on it, closing my eyes.

"Erm.. here. Drink this. Your throat sounds really dry" Mikan said clearing her throat and handing me a glass of water.

"Oh, thanks. I thought you left...You here to play Nurse Mikan again?" I replied taking the water and drinking it.

"Nope, I'm here... Ruka made it seem really urgent on the phone, so I left the party, went home to change and met up with him in less then 5 minutes" she said softly as she paced and fidgeted with the butterfly pin on her sweater a bit before finally taking a seat at my desk.

"Wow, that's quick. Sorry you had to leave a party" I tried to sound apologetic but wondered if Ruka had made up an urgent story just to get her here. Freakin Ruka, as slightly irritated as I was for him contacting her about me, I owed him. He knew how much I missed her.

"It's okay... I'd honestly rather be here than there. With the rally and game, the after party was a bit much for me. Everyone on the team and squad are really great but I can only handle the craziness for so long, ya know?" she said with a nervous laugh.

"I actually have no idea how that would be nor do I wanna know. The rally was enough of a crazy spectacle for me. I was grateful I got called off on a mission during the game. How was it though?"

"Heh, we lost the first game, but at least it was a lot of fun. I fell trying to do a Liberty Stunt, but the girls caught me before I hit the ground...I think I was concentrating so hard on memorizing the cheers, stunts and routines over the past few weeks, that I kept getting lost during the game. I know the basics of Football, but it would probably help if I understood it better..."

"Ya, if you're going to be a football groupie, it just might help" I said sarcastically rolling my eyes.

"Shut up Natsume! I'll just study up on it and I will be the absolute perfect cheerleader by next game" she said in a perkier tone and stuck her tongue out at me.

"I don't doubt it... just remember to practice to the right song this time" I said with a mocking chuckle. She looked at me surprised with wide eyes.

"So I take it the rumors were true?" I said curiously with a questioning eyebrow

"Well, Misaki told me to practice to a song that motivated me and made me happy just to learn the flow of the movements" she said blushing, probably feeling like an idiot that I had heard that fact

"What song motivated you and made you happy?" I inquired now out of honest curiousity.

"Heh... Girlfriend By Avril Lavinge" she said turning a brighter shade of red and avoiding eye contact with me

"How does that go? I don't think I've heard it before.." I said playing stupid... I knew exactly what song she was referring too, but why that one?

"You know, the one with the catchy chorus, about a girl who doesn't like her crush's girlfriend?" she replied looking up at me to see if I knew. I shrugged then smirked wondering if the choice of song held any truth towards me and Luna, "Just give me a bit of the chorus?"

"Natsume, this isn't important. Shouldn't you be resting? Do you need more water? Are you feeling warm?"

"I dunno, why don't you come over here and feel me" I suggested. She looked like she was about to get up from the seat but then sat back down and stared at the floor.

"Hn. Interesting...Polka, did you by any chance hear any of the argument Luna and I were having through the door?"

"No... nothing. Ruka and I didn't get here till you were practically opening the door. Are you sad about the breakup? I know those are rough..." she said then slowly started shaking her head. Her eyes twitched and it looked like she was remembering something painful.

"No, I'm fine. Mikan, are you alright? Did that stupid silver haired idiot break up with you or hurt you in any way?" I stated without realizing I was now walking over to her.

"Natsume, I'm fine as well" she said raising her hand up towards me like she didn't want me to come any closer, "no, Blake and I didn't break up because we were never really together. He's a great guy and all but I guess he just wasn't what I was looking for." She bent down and looked like she was wiping away tears.

"Mikan, if he isn't the reason why you're crying than what is? I hope you sure as hell aren't crying for me because Luna and I didn't really work out from day one and I shouldn't have dragged it out as long as I did."

"Dragged it out..." she repeated under her breath with a couple more tears streaming down her cheeks.

I got up off the bed not caring about her protest anymore and gently wiped away her tears with my thumbs as I cupped her face in my hand and made her look at me.

"Please tell me why the hell you are crying" I said with a worried urgency. I really felt confused. Why was she crying? The random small talk and such seriousness from her already scared me, but what was this about?

"Natsume, as weird as this sounds, please stay away from me..." she said in a voice that was barely audible.

"Mikan... I'm not sure if I heard you right. After all you were the one who willingly came here to my room after ignoring me for the past 6 weeks, coming here like you care that I'm sick, acting completely abnormal and now you said what?" I snapped, firmly grabbing her shoulders and giving her a good shake, "What is going on? Did I do something to make you hate me?"

By this time her tears had gotten worse and she refused to make any eye contact with me. I thought shaking her would have gotten her a bit riled up so she'd yell at me let she normally would have and would have told me what was going on... but no, she had absolutely no response besides tears. I pulled her forward into a tight hug in my arms. I didn't know what to think or say... this girl was confusing the absolute hell out of me. She raised her hands to my chest and made little effort to try to push me away.

"It's not good to drag people along in relationships you know are doomed from the start for whatever reason. It's best not to start them at all and prevent hurt from happening before it's too late..." she stated in a very serious but emotionless tone.

"Have you been watching too many of those damn depressing romantic chick flicks on that tv of yours?"

She suddenly looked up at me with her still wet beautiful brown eyes and for a moment I could see the depth in them as she held my gaze and said simply, "No, it may sound cliché, but I was told that by someone I really love and care for. No matter how much it hurts to accept it now, its for the best..."

I stared down at her even more confused and dumbfounded. Who the hell was she referring too? Someone she really loved and cared for? I doubted she was referring to Blake, but was this why she was avoiding me?

"So let me get this straight Mikan, not to sound conceited and correct me if I'm wrong, but are you trying to tell me to stay away from you because you are afraid that if you stop ignoring me, we might have a crappy relationship that I would drag you along in and hurt you?" I snapped. Hell! What was this? It almost felt like she was breaking up with me before I even had a chance to ask her! Talk about rejection and getting shot down before I even tired. I felt a pain ache in my chest.

"Something like that..." she answered.

"Mikan, in order for any of this little talk to make sense, that would mean that you have feelings for me?"

There was no answer or movement from her. She just stood perfectly quiet and still in my arms. I sighed. I guess I would have been an idiot if I didn't assume she did already.

"Tell me this, if I were to confess to you how I feel about you right at this very moment, you would deny me?" I asked bravely just for complete clarity.

I could already feel my heart slowly inching its way down to my stomach as every nerve in my body started to numb. She slowly raised her head to looked me in the eyes again...

She gave me a slow nod then swallowed nervously. "Yes Natsume... as much as I would be flattered by it and even though I care for you deeply," she paused looking down at her hands on my chest, "I can only offer you my friendship..."

Ouch! And there it was. Whether or not she meant it I wasn't sure. All I knew were the words she had spoken had hit me like a ton of bricks. There was too much tension in my chest and I started to cough again, turning my head away from her. She no longer had any tears but I felt her now gripping onto my shirt. I looked at her face for a brief sec and realized she was making a great effort to be strong and keep a straight face. She gripped a little tighter and I instinctively pulled her close again into my arms. Neither of us moved or said a word. I focused on calming myself and tried to analyzed what the hell was going on when the door opened.

Ruka closed the door and bent over with his hands on his knees trying to catch his breath, shaking a bottle of pills in his hand. Mikan pulled away from me and started to adjust herself a bit then looked at Ruka as well.

"Oh Mikan, Persona wanted me to tell you Naru was looking for you." Ruka told her.

Instantly, she had a strange look on her face then in the next instant it cleared as it looked like she had just remembered something.

"Oh okay thanks Ruka. I better get going now anyway," she turned back to me, "Natsume please rest and feel better... I'll see ya later Ruka" she said waving, heading towards the door without bothering to look back at us.

"She is just plain odd these days... any luck finding out what's bothering her?" Ruka asked.

"Not really, but I do think something is up and we just might find out what tonight.." I said flipping my phone open and dialing Hotaru's number.

"Hyuuga?"

"I think she's on the move."

"I'll head towards the lab. You and Ruka can meet me there," she promptly stated then hung up the phone.

I took my meds, grabbed my jacket and me and Ruka headed out the door. Talking to Mikan tonight had just made me a hell of a lot more determined to figure out what she was up too and I prayed to god this would bring some answers...

P.S- I just wanted to apologize ahead of time if I offended anyone with the retard and short bus references... I honestly hold no bias or look down upon anybody, just couldn't think of better dialog to say what I wanted to you are upset by my choice words though... just blame it on Luna :p Hope you enjoyed the chappie though :)