Special thanks to JennyPenny1014 for being an awesome beta
A/N: Sorry sorry sorry!! I know I haven't updated in quite a while, life has been so crazy and I simply haven't had time. I'm going to try to start updating more frequently again.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything involved with Twilight, it's all Ms. Meyer's.
Bittersweet
both pleasant and painful, or regretful
Chapter 11: He's Really Gone
Bella's Point of View:
I couldn't remember ever feeling as safe as I did now. I felt so secure in Edward's big, strong, protective arms. I have no idea how long I was entrapped by Edward's arms but all of a sudden a thought hit me.
"Oh my gosh, I have to plan Charlie's funeral!" I started to panic, and I sprung up, but Edward quickly grabbed me and pulled me back to him gently.
"Calm down sweetie, Alice planned the funeral." I took a deep breath, and took in the information Edward had just given me.
"Oh."
"Is that ok?" He asked, looking at me with worried eyes.
"Yes."
"Are you sure?" I nodded my head, unable to speak. I wasn't sure if it really was ok. Wasn't it my job to plan the funeral? Did I really want to plan the funeral?
"Please tell me what you're thinking; it's killing me not to know." Edward said.
"It's just…shouldn't I have done it? I mean I was his daughter."
"Did you want to do it? Alice didn't mean to offend you in any way. She just was trying to help. She thought it would be very hard for you to do…not that you couldn't do it." Edward added the last part in quickly.
"I just don't know." I said getting frustrated. "I feel like I should be the one who does it, like it's my responsibility. But honestly, I don't think I could have done it. I'm already too emotional." Edward wrapped his arms around me tightly, and I rested my head on his chest.
"When is it?" I asked after a few moments of silence.
"Tomorrow at four." I nodded. "Is that ok?"
"Yes. That's fine."
"Are you hungry?" Edward asked me.
"Not really."
"You haven't eaten in a while, you probably should."
"Yeah I guess I probably should."
"Come on." Edward said standing up, and lending me his hand. I took it gratefully and stood up. Edward led me to the kitchen and pulled out a chair for me.
"What would you like?"
"It doesn't matter."
"How about some spaghetti?"
"That sounds fine." I responded.
"Ok, I'll whip some up." Edward said kindly.
"Thank you." Edward turned and smiled at me sweetly.
"It's not a problem."
I sat and watched as Edward cooked the spaghetti, and I had a million thoughts running through my head. What would mom say when I told her I was going to live with the Cullens? Would she even come to the funeral? How many people would be at the funeral? Was Charlie being buried or cremated? But then someone abruptly pulled me from my thoughts.
"Hey Bells." I couldn't determine who had said it, but I automatically thought it was my dad. I turned immediately to see Emmett standing there, smiling sadly at me. I shook my head back and forth quickly trying to get it into my head that it wasn't Charlie, and it would never be him again. Edward must have realized how Emmett's words had affected me, because he raced over to me, and wrapped his arms around me.
"Are you ok?" He whispered in my ear. I nodded sadly, and turned my face into him.
"Oh my gosh, Bella I am so sorry. I didn't mean to." Emmett said apologetically realizing that he had struck a nerve by calling me Bells.
"It's ok Emmett." I sad pulling myself away from Edward.
"No it's not. I am so sorry."
"Well thanks Emmett, but it really is alright." Emmett nodded sadly.
"I was going to ask you if you needed anything from the store, I have to go anyways."
"Thanks, but I don't need anything."
"Are you sure? There's really not much in the house." Edward said. "Food wise I mean."
"Umm…could you pick up some chicken and hamburgers?" I asked Emmett.
"Of course. If you think of anything else just give me a call, ok?"
"Yeah, thank you." Emmett left, and I turned my attention to Edward.
"You might need to stir the spaghetti." I said.
"Oh yeah, that. Are you ok?" I nodded and he kissed the top of my head and then walked back to the stove.
After several minutes Edward placed a plate in front of me with the most amazing smelling spaghetti on it.
"Thank you, it smells wonderful."
"I hope it tastes as good as it smells." Edward said. I stuck my fork in and started eating, and it tasted even better than it smelled.
"Where on earth did you learn to cook?"
"I think I just picked up after so many years. Is it good?"
"It's wonderful."
"I'm glad you like it." Edward sat down in the chair next to me.
"Bella, if you don't want to talk it's ok, but how are you doing, what's running through your head?" Edward asked me after I finished off my plate.
"It's hard to believe that he's really gone, but he is." It was all I could say, because then I broke down into tears.
Alice came in at some point and I heard her smack Edward's head.
"What was that for?" Edward hissed.
"What did you do to her?" She asked, and I looked up to see her hands on her hips, and she was looking at Edward angrily.
"He didn't do anything Alice." I said quietly.
"Oh, I'm sorry I hit you Edward."
"Yeah sure you are." Edward replied.
"I am." Alice insisted.
"It's ok, don't worry about it."
"Thank you Alice." I said.
"For what?" She asked me.
"For planning Charlie's funeral. As much as I feel that I should be the one doing it, I just don't think I even could."
"If you had to you could have done it, but it's my pleasure to do it for you."
"Where is it going to be?"
"I thought here, if that's ok with you. We could do it somewhere else, but we have a lot of room here."
"Here is fine." I said. "Is it going to be an open casket?" I asked, not even sure if I really wanted to know.
"Well actually I talked to Charlie's lawyer, and he wanted to be cremated."
"Oh. I didn't know." I said.
"If that's not what you want…" Alice started.
"No no, that's fine; I want Charlie to have his wishes granted."
"Ok." There was a long silence and finally Alice spoke again. "I actually have some things I need to get done for tomorrow, so I'm going to leave you two."
"Alright, bye Alice." Edward said. I nodded my goodbye, and then Alice walked away.
I looked down at my shirt and realized I had a spaghetti stain. "I'm going to go change." I said.
"Alright, just bring your shirt out with you; I'll put it in the wash for you."
"Ok, thanks." I walked back up the stairs and into my room, and shut the door.
As soon as the door was shut and locked, I slipped down against it, and pulled my knees to my chest, and started to cry.
A/N: Alright well that's all for now. I should be able to start updating more often, but I really don't know. It's getting towards the end of the school year, and things are hectic.
Review please!
Shelby