Author's Note: First of all as some of you know I've got a poll on who you the audience think is going to die during this arc and as of September 16, 2014 with 22 voters here are the results:
Tied for 10th place with 0 votes are: Naruto, Anko, Tsunade, Kakashi, Gamabunta, Katsuyu, and Somebody not listed. Nobody wants to see a giant dead toad or slug, really nobody?
Taking 9th place with 1 vote is: Itachi. Finally a poll where Itachi isn't popular.
In 8th place with 2 votes: Shizune. I got nothing, maybe if I attached Tonton to her she'd get more votes.
Tied for 7th place with 3 votes a piece are: Manda and I don't believe you and think you're bluffing. What you don't want to see a giant dead snake or no death at all?
In the 6th place slot carrying 4 votes is: an OC. Considering I killed several nameless OC's last chapter I'm not surprised.
Fitting into 5th with 5 votes is: Sakura. I got nothing, I don't want to think about her because she's just ridiculous.
Tied for 4th place with 7 votes each are: Orochimaru and Sasuke. Looks like the two men who summon snakes slitter together.
Falling into 3rd place with 8 votes is: Kisame. The people want their Akatsuki-nin soup.
Soaring into second place with 9 votes is: the toad man Jiraiya. People probably believe all the bashing I did last chapter was to set up bashing him into the grave.
Finally hanging onto 1st place despite all efforts to drop it with a dozen votes is the turncoat Kabuto. No out of nowhere redemption can help him now.
Naruto and Spider-Man are the property of people who aren't me, though I'll accept a share of the money if offered.
Previously, there was traveling, bashing, battling in a ruined fort, and a Neon Genesis Evangelion reference…read it again, you might find it.
Also, I swear every time I go to double check my facts things have changed...there's a country between the Land of Wind and Stone now. So it didn't exist then but it does now...there problem solved.
Chapter 11: TSUNAde Rising 2: In Which Our Hero Antagonizes the Elderly
Naruto was about to say something to Anko when there was a sudden knock at the door. He opened the door and saw two men in black robes. One of the men looked at him and said, "You need to come with us."
"What?" I asked, confused at the man's apparently drunk tone.
"Come on Koji!" the other one shouted also obviously drunk. "It's time to party!"
"I'm not Koji." I replied.
"Not Koji! Where's Koji!"
"I don't know."
"But this is his room! It says right on the door...69!" the first man shouted/giggled when he got to the number. I looked at the number and then back at the men before stating, "That says twelve. Your friend's not in here."
"Oh!" the second man shouted, "Well do you want to party not Koji?"
"You two have fun without me." I answered.
"Okay! We will, bye not Koji!" the first man yelled and then the duo stumbled down the hall to find their friend. I watched them for a few seconds before shutting the door.
"That was weird."
NARUTO ROAD JOURNAL ENTRY 6
After my...episode with the drunken duo, Anko and I went to sleep, her in the bed and me hanging off the walls, which was surprisingly comfortable. The next morning the two of us wandered the town looking for Tsunade/looking at the sights. I was able to make a couple clones when Anko wasn't looking and sent them out to do the things I couldn't, namely looking for parts for the Recombinator. I felt bad doing this behind Anko's back, but frankly I didn't want to have a conversation with her about why I was going into a jewelry store to buy a giant diamond, which is much harder than you'd think.
Unfortunately, we eventually ran into the toad man, smelling of a mixture of cheap perfume, sweat, and shame...I'm guessing not his own because let's face it between his lifestyle and the way he introduces himself, its pretty clear he doesn't have any shame.
"Oh good, I found you two. I've been thinking about it and as leader of our team I need to take on more responsibility, namely the financial responsibility. As leader, I'm ordering you to hand over your wallet Naruto." Jiraiya explained. So faced with a request from the man I hated most in the world I did the only thing I could; I pulled out a wallet and handed it to him. The toad took the money out of it eagerly and gave me back the empty wallet. "Great, now I'm really close to finding Tsunade, but it going to take some time so the two of you just wait and I'll find you again." He ran off happily toward one of the towns many, many brothels.
"Why did you do that?" Anko asked. "He didn't have any right to take your money."
"I know," I answered, "Are you hungry? There's a stand over there that's selling something called a 'taco' and I'm curious to try it."
"Are you buying?"
"Sure."
"And how are you paying for it?" I didn't say anything and just pulled out my wallet.
"Unless the stand works on the barter system, I was planning on using money."
"So you gave him some of your money to go away?"
"Nope." I answered.
"Then what just happened?"
"I'll tell you later." The two of us continued to walk through the town after eating tacos. It was good, nowhere close to the greatness of ramen but pretty good. I wonder if I can talk the Ichiraku's into making taco flavored ramen? How would you make a taco flavored ramen...is that even possible? It was a fairly uneventful day, the only things that stood out were a couple minutes later there was a loud howl of pain that shook the town and that night when Anko walked past the room the toad was staying in, she could hear a man sobbing.
"Why is Jiraiya sobbing in his room?" Anko asked me as she walked into our room.
"Nightly ritual?" I offered. "Maybe it helps him cope with how sad and pathetic he truly is."
"Naruto," Anko stated, "What did you do?"
"You know that wad of cash I gave him? It wasn't real."
"Wasn't real...counterfeit? Did you make counterfeit money?" Anko asked. "Naruto, you could get into real trouble for that."
"I didn't make the money, I copied the money." Anko looked at me, not putting the pieces together. "Or more exactly, I cloned the money," Anko's eyes got wide, "and then specialized what it would take to end the technique." her lips started to rise in a smile, "Specifically the next time somebody else touched the money it would go poof," her chest started to rise and fall as she held in her laughter, "And since the first person he ran into was probably was a member of the world's oldest profession..." she doubled over still refusing to laugh out loud, "Jiraiya probably tried to pay a whore for sex and the money disappeared as soon as she touched it." That did it, Anko fell onto the bed laughing at what I had done.
"I wonder if that's what Tsunade does to get out of debt?" Anko wondered out loud still laughing.
"What?"
"Oh yeah, she's known as the Legendary Sucker." Anko explained.
"Do I want to know how she got that nickname?"
"She's a terrible gambler and always in debt to the casinos or the people who pay off her casino debts for her."
"If she's that bad off, maybe we should save some time and lay a trail of bills on the road and hope follow them back to Konoha." I offered. Anko laughed and after talking for a few more hours we fell asleep.
NARUTO ROAD JOURNAL ENTRY 7
Had the weirdest damn dream last night, I dreamt I fought a tree and then a rabbit/lady thing...I need to watch what I eat before I go to bed.
The three of us left town early the next morning, presumably so that Jiraiya could get out of town without anybody seeing him. Unfortunately, there were still people out who whispered to each other as soon as they saw the toad. From what Anko and I overheard, Jiraiya had tried to pass off my clone money at Miss Rangiku's Pleasure Palace when it was Twins Night. Miss Rangiku wasn't too happy about that and banned Jiraiya from all of her Palaces...all two hundred of them. Basically the world's greatest pervert was banned from the Elemental Nation's largest chain of whore houses...life is good.
Chonghuan Yuan looked around the war room, because of his actions at the Ningyuan Pass months ago, he had recently been promoted to Tokubetsu Jōnin and that had granted him access to these high level meetings covering Suna's war effort. The war against Iwa were going well for Suna. After the battle of Ningyuan Pass, the tide had turned in Suna's favor. Suna's forces had attacked Iwa's base at their end of the Pass and captured it quickly. With this hole in Iwa's defensive line, Suna had sent a massive force through it and had forced Iwa on the complete defensive for months, consistently forcing them further and further back until they had lost a massive chunk of their southern border. Yuan and several other Jōnin were called back to Sunagakure to this meeting. The Sandaime Kazekage, Suna's greatest ninja ever and master of the Iron Sand, had been called to the capitol days ago and had just returned thus the reason for the meeting.
"As you all know," the Kazekage explained, "the war has been going on for several years now and the daimyos are getting tired of it. You have all heard the rumors that our Daimyo has been meeting with the Daimyo of the Land of Fire?" The assembled ninjas nodded their heads as this rumor had been persisting for years. "I'm here to tell you that it is now true, the Daimyos of Wind and Fire met several days ago to draw up a peace treaty. I won't bore you with all fifty pages of it, but the gist of it states that we're at peace now and we can no longer enter the Land of Fire or Rivers without permission."
The Kazekage stopped as he let his collective ninjas think about what that meant. The fighting against Konoha had been fierce but it had been far less frequent or deadly than the war with Iwa. In this three-way war between hidden villages, if two of them could make peace then the third wouldn't stand a chance.
"Lord Kazekage," Tanaka, a tall red haired jōnin, began, "if we are no longer going to move toward fighting Konoha, then wouldn't it be worth it to move as many of our troops as possible toward the north now in preparation for a massive attack on Iwa or to annex land from Ame?"
"Why would we want to take land from Ame?" the Kazekage asked. "What value is land to a hidden village?"
"The water would make it worth our effort. Ame has frequent rain storms and massive lakes, if the water could be collected and brought into the Land of Wind, or more importantly Suna, it would ease our nation's drought, by watering our crops and feeding our people. It would be more than worth the effort to strike." Tanaka explained. Several of the ninja in the room nodded their heads in agreement, including the Honored Siblings, Chiyo and Ebizo.
"I see, does anybody have any other ideas?" the Kazekage asked. The room was silent for a moment until Yuan spoke up.
"With all due respect," Yuan began, "I believe attacking Ame at this point would be the worst thing we could do." Everybody looked at him, confused by his statement. "For all intents and purposes, we were winning the war with Konoha; all conflicts were on their side of the borders of the Land of Rivers and our losses were much smaller than in the conflict with Iwa and about the same as the losses we know they suffered. If our daimyo was willing to end the war we were winning, it seems likely he will end the war we are fighting to a draw." Several of the ninja in the room nodded their heads in agreement, hearing the wisdom in his words.
"So if the daimyo will end the war soon, what would you have us do?" the Kazekage asked.
"At the moment, the Land of Wind is larger than its ever been. If we focus our forces on defense, protecting what has been won, then the daimyo would be negotiating from a position of power and thus our enemies would be willing to give us more to end it peacefully." Yuan explained. "Plus, we are regarded as the finest trap makers in the world, if we focus on defense we can trap our enemies and whittle them down in relative safety until the treaty is signed."
"Yes safety," Chiyo echoed sarcastically, "we can hide from the world while our enemies get stronger and prepare to attack us. Lord Kazekage, I have fought Hanzō several times, I know how he fights, how he thinks, the strengths and weaknesses of his men, his summons, and himself. We can beat him."
"How sure can you be?" Yuan countered. "All you know is what Hanzō has let you see and if we are being honest, with Hanzō's power he could have probably destroyed you at anytime, after all he has a reputation for sparing people on whims."
"Unlike you, I did not achieve my rank by being lucky enough to scare off weak minded Iwa shinobi," Chiyo stated coldly. "I earned my reputation by constantly fighting and surviving, just like a proper shinobi of Suna."
"'Proper shinobi of Suna know when to fight and when to let their enemies exhaust themselves in the desert,' the creed of the ShodaiKazekage, the man who founded our village."
"And the First would be the first to agree we need to expand now." Tanaka countered.
"Enough." The Third Kazekage stated, staring at all three of them. "All of you have made excellent points." A small portion of his iron sand gathered in his left hand and began shifting from one shape to another between his sentences, a sign that he was thinking out loud. "The survival of Suna is paramount. The best thing we can do to survive is hold what we have until the daimyo makes peace. But we have no idea when that will be and playing defense will give our enemies time to rally and find a hole in our defenses and overrun us. Yet, if we are too aggressive the other nations will see us as the aggressor in this war and seek to stop us as they will have the 'moral imperative' to stop the bully nation that isn't them. On the other hand, the more territory we win for the Land of Wind, the greater our standing with the Daimyo and the more impressed the minor lords will be with our nation." The sand stopped in the shape of a kunai. "Chiyo, Ebizo, Tanaka, I want you three to start drawing up battle plans for an invasion of Ame, I want maximum gains as quickly and using as few shinobi as possible. I want the plans on my desk in three hours. The rest of you prepare to be sent north to either defend against Iwa or attack Ame. That is all."
Three days later, ten thousand shinobi left Sunagakure. Two days later, Tanaka's offensive force of eight thousand attacked Hanzō and Ame's defensive force of two thousand. Of those eight thousand, only twelve hundred would return home alive, many of their shinobi careers were over. The only reason any of them got out alive was the sudden appearance of shinobi from Konoha led by the Sandaime's students, who also failed in defeating Hanzō and for their efforts were "rewarded" with the title of Sannin.
The next day, the defensive force of two thousand Yuan was serving in was attacked by a force of five thousand Iwa shinobi. Their forward defensive positions were able to hold off the first attacks, but eventually they were overrun. Of those two thousand, only seven hundred would return home alive. The only reason they were not completely overrun was the sudden appearance of a group calling themselves shinobi of Ishigakure who were tired of Iwa's oppression. The final attack cost Suna a third of its total military forces and caused Suna to lose most of the territory it had gained to the North during the war.
Two days later, the Daimyos of Earth, Wind, and Fire sat down and finalized the peace treaty between their nations ending the Second Shinobi World War. In the end, the Land of Wind would become slightly larger, but it lost most of the territory it had won during the course of the war. The nation of Ishigakure (Land of Rocks) was created as a boundary between the Lands of Wind and Earth out of the territory that Iwa had just won back from Suna to act as a border state between Wind and Earth.
In the years that followed the Second Shinobi World War, Yuan tried on several occasions to propose methods to fill in the gap in Suna's forces to the Third Kazekage only to have his proposals constantly countered by Lady Chiyo and Tanaka:
"Lord Kazekage, income from our clients has dropped. I believe that it would be in our best interests to begin courting more of the minor lords of the nations surrounding us to support ourselves." Yuan suggested.
"That's foolish, if the Daimyo finds out we are talking with other nations then he may begin to cut our funding." Lady Chiyo countered.
"The Daimyo has already begun to have Konoha take on several missions for him." Yuan explained. "If he's doing that then maybe we should start finding more clients."
"Its not worth the time and effort it would take to court these minor lords who are already using their nations minor shinobi villages to work for them. To come before them asking them to hire us would only lower our worth on the world stage." Tanaka explained, condescendingly.
"I must agree with the counselors, Suna cannot afford to look weak now." the Third Kazekage agreed.
OR
"Lord Kazekage, I have found an unaffiliated minor clan who are still wandering the Elemental Nations, the Fūma Clan. Their numbers would greatly ease the strain on our man power."
"But is it worth the security risk?" Ebizō countered. "To bring in so many outsiders at once? To even bring in outsiders at all? Suna is still prospering with the splendid ninja it has, we do not need to rely on outsiders who might corrupt and weaken our forces."
"Then have them work in our less important tasks for now or test them to see how strong they are." Yuan countered back.
"A wandering clan after all these years sounds too suspicious," Lady Chiyo added, "How can we be sure they aren't spies or worse missing-nin? Would you have the wrath of the other Elemental Nations brought down on our heads because you wanted us to take in their criminals?"
"I must agree with the counselors, Suna cannot afford to bring in outsiders now." the Third Kazekage agreed.
NARUTO ROAD JOURNAL ENTRY 8
We arrived at Tanzaku Town and immediately split up to explore the town. Well I say split up, Anko and I went one way and Jiraiya went the other. The two of us explored the castle there, nice looking place. The only unusual thing I saw there was I caught a glimpse of a cute black haired girl in a black kimono...carrying a pig. Must be a local thing. Eventually the toad found us and decided we needed to check into an inn and then eat...together.
(Author's Note: Sorry to interrupt but I needed to say something here, I'm switching back to third person narration. Mainly because I wrote this scene first a long time ago and I like it and changing it to first person causes it to lose some of the things I like about it.)
The bar Jiraiya chose was one of the cheapest places to eat in town, a place meant for three kinds of people: those who were too poor to eat anywhere else, those who were more interested in the booze than the food, and those who just wanted to stay out of public sight. Honestly, Jiraiya should've looked here first to find Tsunade.
"The one time I wasn't looking for her," Jiraiya muttered to himself, although the others heard him. "Hey hime!" he shouted getting Tsunade, her apprentice, and the entire bar's attention...well except the cook who was busy fighting to keep the dinner special from escaping. "I've finally found you!" The toad sage quickly sat across from his female teammates and ordered an array of appetizers for the table.
'So that's Tsunade?" Naruto thought, 'She's seriously fifty? What a con. Although I'm certain I've seen her partner somewhere before though.'
"You look wonderful hime," Jiraiya complemented. "What's up?"
"Nuthin' really. So what's up with you…Whaddaya want from me?"
"Where have I seen her?" Naruto wondered. "This is really bugging me."
"Sensei sent me to bring you back to Konoha to help the village recover and start your medic-nin program." Shizune's eyes widened as she heard that Konoha was offering to create Tsunade's dream. Tsunade's eyes narrowed in suspicion.
"That's very good, offering me what I wanted years ago when it could've helped hundreds of people. Now why are you really here?"
"I had hoped," Jiraiya began after a sigh, "that would be all you needed to come back. Sensei asked me to find you so that you could come back and become the Godaime Hokage." Everybody's eyes widened in absolute shock on his food.
'Godaime Hokage? Where the heck did that come from?' Naruto thought.
"Stay in there you stupid thing!" the cook shouted, breaking the silence.
"Well Tsunade? Do you accept?" Jiraiya asked his former teammate.
"Sorry. No Thanks" Tsunade stated causing Jiraiya to chuckle.
"That line….brings back memories. I remember you used it once before when I asked you to go out with me."
"Okay, what is going on here?" Naruto demanded pointing at Jiraiya. "You went on for hours…hours describing the shape of her ass and you couldn't take five seconds to tell us you were going to ask her this?"
"Jiraiya, who is this brat?" Tsunade asked.
"Naruto Uzumaki," Jiraiya answered.
"Octavius-Smythe." Naruto corrected.
'So this lad has the Kyuubi' Tsunade thought before saying, "Hey Jiraiya, unlike your last disciple , this kid's got worse mouth, brains, and even mug."
"Aw, come on, everybody pales in comparison to the Fourth Hokage. He had all that natural talent plus everything I taught him that made him awesome."
"Still not gonna be your student," Naruto told him.
"But even with all that going for him, he ended up dying young. Sacrificing his life for the village. My grandfather and his brother fought to end hostilities in the world and yet they died in vain for the village, accomplishing nothing. They became Hokage and then threw away their lives to save the village just like Sarutobi will someday. But then again if he sent you to come find me, maybe he smartened up and is going to stay retired instead of dying for nothing." Naruto clenched his fist.
"You've changed," Jiraiya commented, "I don't know if you've always thought this or if these are new thoughts."
"Time changes people," Tsunade answered, "I've realized the truth, only a fool would want to be Hokage."
"Oh that's hilarious, wanting to be the most powerful ninja in the village is foolish but living your life on the run from debt collectors is okay. How in the blue hell is she good enough to be Hokage?"
"Calm down Naruto, Tsunade's the best choice for Hokage. Not only did she contribute greatly toward Konoha's victories in the World Wars, she's also the greatest medic-nin in the world. Plus her grandfather was Hashirama Senju, the Shodai Hokage, and her granduncle was Tobirama Senju, the Nidaime Hokage, so being Hokage's in her blood." Jiraiya explained.
"Oh that makes perfect sense, if the only qualification needed is being related to a Hokage then maybe would should just give the hat to Asuma, or hell Konohamaru want the hat, let him be Hokage. Either of them has to be better than this drunk old woman. Probably make her ninja work to pay off all of her debts, or even better lose Konoha in a bet with Iwa on her first day."
"Look gaki," Tsunade began in a controlled angry tone, "just because you're the pervert's student..."
"Super Pervert."
"I'm not his student."
"Where did these tentacles come from!" the cook shouted from the kitchen.
"...doesn't mean you are anything. Your perverted master..."
"Super Perverted."
"Not my master."
"Oh God! Its got my legs!"
"...could never beat me in a fight and you can't either."
"Is that a challenge?" Naruto asked.
"I could beat you with one finger." Tsunade stated.
"Those don't go there!"
"All right, put your non-existent money where your mouth is, lets step outside."
"Gladly brat," Tsunade stormed out by an annoyed Naruto, giddy Anko, concerned Shizune, perturbed Jiraiya, and indifferent Tonton.
"Why isn't anybody helping me-e-e-e?" the cook sobbed.
'Well kid,' Jiraiya thought, 'better you than me. Maybe after Tsunade crushes a few bones you'll realize how much you need my help and drop this silly beef you've got with me.' The two combatants stood across from each other on the street.
"Since I feel sorry for you having to spend time around the pervert, I'll go easy on you and just use one finger." Tsunade taunted.
"I appreciate the sympathy, but I don't need it. Besides I honestly feel bad getting into a fight with somebody of your advanced age," Naruto replied.
"Come on then," Tsunade taunted, "show me what you got." Naruto charged the buxom blond. Tsunade rolled her eyes at the obvious attack, ignoring the gauntlets that were forming on Naruto's arms. Naruto came at her with a swinging left punch that Tsunade easily deflected with her right pointer finger causing him to spin. Naruto took advantage of his spinning and to Tsunade's surprise unleashed a quartet of metallic tentacles that blind sided her and sent her off balance. Naruto recovered first and unleashed a barrage of strikes from both tentacles and fists. Most of the shots missed the Sannin as despite or probably because of her inebriation, she managed to dodge all but the luckiest strikes ending with a tentacle slap to the face that sent her staggering back.
"You want to give up now Baa-chan? I'd hate to make you soil yourself in terror." Naruto taunted.
"We'll see who soils themselves," Tsunade countered before bringing her finger crashing down causing the ground to quake and sending the people scurrying to safety. Naruto stumbled as the ground shook but didn't fall down as the tentacles quickly grabbed onto the ground to keep him upright. Tsunade charged this time and brought her finger down again but missed the mechanized blond as he leapt out of the way.
'I'm not going to win a match of strength,' Naruto thought as he dodged, 'but maybe I can win a match of stamina especially if I use these.' The gauntlets shifted into talons without anybody noticing. When Tsunade came to strike Naruto again, he sprang into action by latching onto her right arm with his left talon and then started to drain her chakra. Tsunade looked in shock as the henge on her right arm began fading away around the metal talon revealing the wrinkled skin underneath. The female sannin twisted her body around, forcing Naruto to let go, and then she pulled back and punched Naruto in the gut sending him flying backward.
Naruto's HUD flashed warning signs but he ignored them as he forced the talons back into gauntlets, the left one taking longer than the right for some reason. He then stretched his tentacles out to latch onto a nearby lamp post and used them to swing around it reversing his direction so he was flying toward Tsunade as he charged both fists to shoot energy. Tsunade reacted by throwing her right fist forward to punch the blond in the face but instead caught him squarely in the left fist just as Naruto fired it.
There was brief flash and then an explosion that sent both blonds backward. Tsunade recovered first and looked down at her right arm, the henge had restored itself and the arm looked young and unblemished again except that her hand was covered in blood. The Slug Sannin froze at the sight and Naruto stared at the still woman.
'She's not moving? Why? There's blood on her hands so maybe she hasn't been hurt in a long time, she's shocked because she can be hurt? No, I hurt her earlier...unless its the blood. Hemophobia...in a medic nin? Ah, I'm over thinking, I should keep on the move.' Naruto rushed forward ready to deliver a knock-out blow from his right arm but was suddenly stopped by Jiraya grabbing his right upper arm and pulling him off course to stumble into a wall.
"Enough!" The Toad Sage stated gruffly. "You two have made enough of a mess of things."
"Fine," Naruto apparently conceded, "I'll leave so you two can talk." Naruto began walking back toward the hotel, Anko took one look at both groups and quickly ran to catch up with the blond.
"Well that went well." she quipped when she was beside him. "What were you thinking?"
"Are we being followed?" Naruto asked after they turned a corner and were out of sight of the Sannin.
"What?"
"Are we being followed?" he repeated.
"No." And soon as Anko said that Naruto gasped in pain, his eyes widened and he leaned up against the wall clutching his ribs with his right arm.
"What's wrong?" Anko asked.
"For an old drunk she hits hard," Anko's hand glowed and she placed it on Naruto's ribs drawing a hiss of pain, a few seconds later she removed her hand and frowned.
"Well you've definitely cracked or broken a couple ribs, probably bruised a few too." Her eyes caught sight of a small puddle of blood by his feet; she looked directly above it to his left hand and saw blood dripping from it.
"You know medical jutsu?" Naruto asked trying to distract her.
"Just the general diagnostic one, my former…well he wanted me to know first aid and the best way to perform it in the field."
"Have you done it a lot?"
"Stop trying to change the subject," Anko ordered. "Why didn't you say anything when we were standing next to two medic-nins?"
"I didn't want to give the slug lady the satisfaction of seeing me hurt. Can you treat me?"
"Yeah, but it will just be field medicine."
"Do your best Anko, I know you'll do great."
"Come on, if I'm going to do it then I'd rather do it in the hotel room." Naruto chuckled at that. "What?" she asked.
"I learn more about you all the time." Anko rolled her eyes and eventually the two reached their room.
"Take your shirt off," Anko ordered.
"I bet you say that to all your patients," Naruto joked trying to ignore the pain as he slowly removed his jacket.
"Just the cute ones," Anko answered. "Do you want some help?"
"Please." Anko grabbed the bottom of his shirt and removed it trying to ignore Naruto's surprisingly muscular physique. The violet haired kunoichi pulled out an ice pack and some bandages. She quickly put it up against the ribs and loosely wrapped it to his chest. "This should help with the pain. Why haven't you removed your gauntlet?" Anko asked after realizing it was still on his left arm but not his right.
"That's more complicated," Naruto explained. "I'll have to do it alone."
"Okay," Anko answered, "I'm here if you need me."
"Thanks." Naruto grabbed his backpack, entered the bathroom, and locked it, he trusted Anko in the field but not with the secrets of his technology. 'Damn,' he thought as he got a good look at his hand. The panel where the vibrations were released was smashed and fragmented with the pieces digging in or in some cases buried in the flesh. The blond activated his HUD and had it diagnose the damage.
'Well it's wrecked,' he thought as the reports slowly came in. 'The nanites that formed around his left arm were all damaged somehow. The shockwave from the punch must have traveled back along my arm and broken them. But my arm is fine other than my hand…the bones should have broken all over my arm. Why not? Maybe it has something to do with the Kyuubi, the fox might have actually been useful. For now, I'll just have to remove the gauntlet and order it to repair itself since the nanites can't be reabsorbed right now.' Naruto sent the commands and released his tentacles to begin the slow process of removing the gauntlet that had dug into his arm. When that was finished, he packed the gauntlet into his bag, washed up, and went back into the main room.
"It's about time, I was starting to get lonesome." Anko looked at Naruto's cut hand. "Sit down so I can treat that." Naruto sat down on the bed and Anko pulled out a small bottle of disinfectant, a jar of cream, some cotton and more bandages. She put some of the disinfectant on a cotton ball and gently took Naruto's injured hand in hers. "This might sting," Anko warned as she touched one of the cuts with the cotton ball. Naruto winced as a burning sensation filled wherever she touched. "The alcohol will sterilize the would," she explained. When she had finished dabbing the last cut, Anko opened the jar and put a large dab of cream on his hand before rubbing it onto Naruto's damaged hand. "While the cream will fix the skin, encourage bone repair, and everything else a magic medicine is supposed to do." The violet haired vixen finished by wrapping Naruto's left hand. "And the bandages should protect the hand and keep the cream in contact with the skin. So did I do a good job?"
"A great job," Naruto replied, "you did everything except kiss it and make it better." Anko brought the bandaged hand to her lips and gave it a tender kiss.
"Better?"
"Much." Naruto slowly got up, "I think I'll stretch my tentacles, hang on the wall, and catch some sleep."
"No," Anko gently ordered putting her hand on his chest to stop him, "you are going to sleep in the bed tonight.
"Anko, I'll be fine hanging on the wall."
"No, when sleeping with cracked ribs you need back support. Now are you going to be a good patient for Nurse Anko or do I have to tie you up?" She added with a smile.
"Okay Nurse Anko, you win."
"Good, although it would've been more fun if you had said 'No.'"
"Maybe when I'm feeling better," Naruto offered as he laid down.
"You need anything?"
"Just some company, I want to know more about you."
"Like what?" Anko asked as she sat in a chair.
"Well, you keep mentioning an old sensei, who was he?"
"I don't want to talk about him." Anko said sharply.
"Was he that bad? Did yours try to kill you too?"
"He gave me 'a gift' and he didn't like how I reacted to it, so he abandoned me." Anko finally answered frowning.
"What was the gift?"
"I'd rather not talk about it."
"Okay, then who is he?"
"Why do want to know?"
"So I know whose face I'm going to punch in for you." Anko let out a small smile at Naruto's answer and then finally answered.
"It's Orochimaru. If this changes anything between us..."
"Why should it?"
"I know what people call me behind my back: Traitor's Student, Snake Bitch, Snake Whore..."
"Damn brat, Monster, Demon." Naruto stated in the same tone of voice. Anko stopped and stared. "We're both victims of other people's actions, you with your teacher's treachery and me with the Fourth's 'heroism.'" Anko could hear the sarcasm Naruto placed in the word. "I am no more what's inside me than you are what your teacher did to you."
"How'd you get so smart?" Anko asked.
"I died, then I was brought back from the dead, and then a lot of information was stuffed in my head," Naruto answered conversationally. "It's getting late and I'm shot, I think I'm going to get some sleep. Unless you don't want me to sleep in here anymore?"
"No, I want you to stay, after all we victims have to stick together." Anko answered as she tried to get comfortable in her chair.
"Plenty of room here," Naruto offered patting the empty half of the bed.
"Trying to get me to go to bed with you?" Anko teased, "How bold."
"Says the woman who removed my shirt and offered to tie me up." Naruto countered. Anko thought for a moment before getting up and laying down on her side, facing away from Naruto. "You might as well get under the covers, I'll be warm enough above them." Anko shimmied under the covers and soon both of them were asleep.
Too soon, some damn fool did something stupid and the Third Shinobi World War began. At first, things went well for Suna. Their defenses were barely penetrated thanks to the efforts of established commanders like Yuan and those of the newest generation like Lady Chiyo's grandson Sasori, who earned fame as Sasori of the Red Sand (Akasuna no Sasori), due to his ingenious puppets dying the sand red with his enemies' blood. Unfortunately, both he and the Third Kazekage would both disappear during the course of the war and new trouble would brew.
"Lord Kazekage must be found immediately!" Tanaka stated. "We must send as many shinobi as possible out to find him."
"I'm not saying we shouldn't hunt for him," Yuan argued, "but we should only send out hunter ninja squads so that we won't advertise our strongest shinobi is missing."
"Both suggestions have merit," Lady Chiyo began, "but we need to find him as soon as possible and the more eyes out there, the soon he will be found. Mobilize all available shinobi!"
The Third would not be found, and so a new Kazekage would be chosen.
"Based on your skill and dedication to improving Suna, we confer to you the title of Kazekage. Long may you reign Lord Tanaka!" Lady Chiyo announced as she placed the Kazekage's hat on Tanaka's bright red head.
"Thank you Lady Chiyo, I swear to defend Suna for all my days. Send word to the commanders to begin preparations for counter attacks. And Yuan, you have proven you can protect small bases from attack, that is your worth to Suna, and so you will coordinate the defenses of the northern bases. Dismissed."
Yuan left, angry than he had ever felt and he used his anger to fuel his mind into creating new and incredible defensive strategies to stop Iwa's attacks with minimum casualties, ranging from simple ambushes to negotiating with the Land of Rocks to share information. while at the same time Tanaka kept attacking Iwa with disastrous results. Yuan's fame rose among his men. Eventually, the war ended and Yuan was finally able to return to Suna.
"Welcome back Yuan, I believe congratulations are in order."
"Thank you Lord Kazekage, I am honored that so many of my men were able to return home safely."
"Yes, but I wasn't referring to your impressive low casualty reports."
"Sir?"
"You've been promoted."
"What is my new rank?"
"You are Suna's first global observer."
"What does that mean?"
"It means that you will go out and wander the Elemental Nations and report everything of importance back to Suna. We believe that with your skills, it would be worth more to Suna if you were out in the world gathering intelligence." Tanaka handed him a list. "This is a list that Lady Chiyo has provided as drop off points. Somebody from her network will collect the information and pass it along to Suna. Memorize them and destroy the list."
"If Lady Chiyo has a spy network out there already, why am I needed?" Yuan asked.
"Her network's members are all static, you will be able to move and possibly follow up on anything of note."
"When will my mission be completed?" Yuan asked, partially knowing the answer.
"When I decide it would be worth more to Suna to bring you back, perhaps we will find something more worthy to bring you back for. Messages may be left for you at the drop points. You'll leave first thing in the morning, oh and leave your identifying papers with the gatekeepers. We don't want anybody to believe you are spying on them for us, do we? Dismissed."
Yuan left the Kazekage's office, once more "promoted" away from his village. As he walked to his home, he was stopped by a nearby voice.
"Commander Yuan!" Yuan turned his head and came face to face with several of men he had personally commanded in the final weeks of the war including his old medic friend, Kiri.
"Hello men, but I'm afraid I'm not your Commander anymore." Yuan stated.
"Sir?" one of them asked.
"Lord Kazekage has...transferred me to long term intelligence gathering." Yuan explained.
"How long term?"
"Quite likely until I die." Yuan answered, his red eyes full of anger and sorrow and possibly never seeing his village again.
"So has the Kazekage exiled you?" Kiri asked.
"No, I'm to continually report in so he knows what I've been up to, but I'm to leave tomorrow morning."
"Tomorrow! But that's..."
"His prerogative." Yuan finished. "It's been an honor gentlemen, keep Suna intact for me. I intend to return one day."
"This isn't right," Kiri began, "a good man is being driven out and we must follow the orders of that…"
"Don't finish that thought," Yuan interrupted, "unless you want to join me on my world tour."
"Right, just remember there are those of us who know how hard you've fought for Suna and we'll do what we can to bring you back soon."
"Thank you Kiri." And with that Yuan left. He would depart Suna the next morning.
Naruto woke up the next morning with an unusual weight on his good arm. During the night, Anko had apparently rolled over and was now using the blond as a pillow. Naruto didn't move or say anything, he just let Anko sleep as he checked his HUD.
Tsunade's chakra had some odd trait to it that had messed with the nanites that were exposed to it in the left arm. According to the nanites he left behind to aid in the repairs, the chakra had basically burnt out the electronics in each and every nanite. It would be easier to break them down to their base materials flushing out any remaining chakra and rebuild them from there which would take anywhere from hours to days and leave him without his left gauntlet and wing. Unfortunately, there wasn't any other alternative so he remotely signaled them to begin the process.
"Morning," he heard a sleepy Anko mutter.
"Good morning. How'd you sleep?"
"Good," Anko murmured still not fully awake, "this pillow is really warm."
"Thank you, I try." Anko's eyes shot open as she realized what she was using for a pillow and sat up.
"I'm sorry, did I hurt your ribs?"
"No, but I think I'm going to take it easy today, avoid kicking annoying old lad ass if I can." Anko actually giggled at that. "The only thing I could complain about is this puddle of drool on my chest, now where could that have come from?" Anko stopped giggling and slapped his right shoulder hard.
"Just for that, I'm going to change clothes in the bathroom instead of out here like I planned," with that Anko gathered her clothes and went to shower and change.
Some time later after both had finished their morning routines.
"Well should we go out for breakfast?" Naruto asked.
"What about Jiraiya?" Anko asked.
"Let him find his own breakfast, besides..." Naruto was cut off by a knock at the door, "Well speak of the idiot and he appears." The injured blond opened the door and came face to face with two black haired men wearing black cloaks with red clouds on them. The first was a hunchback wearing a mask on the lower part of his face and the other was tall with red eyes who simply stated:
"Naruto, you're coming with us."
Author's Note: Gotcha. Be honest none of you saw Sasori coming and think about it...I never said Kisame before in the story. In an Author's Note yes, but not in the story. Sorry to everybody who picked Kisame in the poll, but he's not going to be around for a while. Why? Well for a possible answer you should check out my collection of one-shots, Spiraling Themes, where I give my take on common story themes. So make your predictions if you haven't already and I add Sasori as a choice just to be fair.
So as it turns out Gaara's dad doesn't have a name so I just took part of the name of his voice actor Masahiko Tanaka...unfortunately I have no idea which is his family name and which isn't. I know its different in Japan, I just don't know if it would put in its native style on Wikipedia or not. So if you know, tell me. Also I can't find a last name for Gaara and his siblings, is that a thing in Suna?
Funny thing here, I didn't realize it until after I was done but I turned the Second Shinobi World War into our World War One…the prelude to the Nazi one. With Suna playing the part of Germany during the Spring Offensive of 1918, Konoha as the Soviet Union, Ame as England/the United States, and Iwa as France. Yep, France. Well before you go and leave a review and vote in the poll and then look that up. Enjoy what results when I read Detective Comics 500, Naruto, and watch the Simpson's movie in one day:
The Pork Knight Rises
It was a dark night, the kind of night that held promise both wonderful and terrible. The Wakis, Tanzaku Town's richest family, were walking from the theater after a show.
"Did you enjoy the show?" Dr. Waki asked his son.
"Yeah," Bomani his young son answered, "the best part…" he stopped as a shadowy figure stepped out of the shadows in front of them wielding a crossbow.
"What-What is this?" TW asked.
"It's called a stick up buddy! I'll take that necklace the lady's wearing!" The mugger ordered.
"You hoodlum! Don't you dare put a hand on my wife!" TW ordered back as he put himself between the mugger and his family. What happened next would engrave itself into Bomani's memory for the rest of his life. The mugger brought his crossbow up and pointed it at Bomani. Suddenly a small, pink figure swooped down from above, knocking the crossbow out of his hand. In a flurry of strikes and grunts, the pink blur knocked the mugger down and sent him flying into a wall, knocking him out. The pink figure ran up the wall. The Wakis look up to try and catch a brief glimpse of their savior, but the parent's attention was broken as soon as the police showed up to investigate the noise.
Tonton dashed away as soon as she heard the police arrive, not knowing that she had been seen by one young set of eyes.
'I swear' Bomani swore mentally, 'that I shall become crime fighter like the one who saved me. Criminals are a superstitious cowardly lot, so my disguise must be able to strike terror into their hearts, I must become….' A loud oink pierced the night. 'A pig!'
And on that night, the legend of Hogman began.