Chapter 11: Casa del Nooky pt2
Synopsis: Zalak and Zen have arrived at the resort but what is in store for them and why is Dav making trouble on Astanta?
Authors Notes: Part de Seconde, enjoy!
Disclaimer: As much as I would like too I do not own Ashura, Zen, Zalak and Orachron, they are property of MAS and Dark respectively. Sora and Kingdom Hearts belongs to SquareEnix and Disney. Aletia belongs to A.M.MC!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
We join a pissed off Dav on the hunt for a certain demon on the world of Astanta…
Dav swept across the hilly landscape of Astanta with the urge to kill swimming around his head. His destination is the temple of the eight Xiaolin dragons. Angrily he reached the gates of the temple and shouldered them aside, completely ignoring the security monks that had come to restrain him. Batting one aside with his arm he charged straight into the room where the dragons would usually be found feasting. In there was one small girl that he recognised as Aletia.
"Oh, its you!" She called in surprise. "The wind told me someone was looking for me"
"Enough of your mumbo jumbo, where is your dippy boyfriend and his demented brother?"
"Oh, Zen went to a spa somewhere for the weekend"
Despite the annoyance seeping through Dav's veins an unmistakeable grin crept onto his face. "Was this an all expenses paid trip from a mystery spa?" Dav asked with a lighter tone.
"Um, yes. Why?"
Dav suppressed a laugh. "Your boyfriend has fallen into a deadly trap!"
"How is that funny!" Aletia yelled now reaching for a pan that rested on the table to the side of her.
"Back when I was invited on a chat show a woman tried chatting up Zen and hitting on him…"
"WHAT?"
"Don't worry, he refused her… But… she was an Amazon Woman… about seven foot with a hairy lip and a Nooky fixation…"
"Really? She set the trap up?"
"Yes"
"Wait, what is a Nooky fixation…?" Aletia asked Dav who flinched slightly and then sighed heavily.
"Well, when a man and a woman…"
Outside in the temple grounds and the surrounding areas silence ruled with nothing but the odd rustling of bushes to disturb the peace. However the silence was broken by a loud, high pitched scream… followed by a distressed teenager's shouting voice
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
"HEY KID, YOU ASKED!"
Silence again followed for a few seconds and then the most sickening slap anyone could have ever heard… SLAP.
In Chase Young's Lair…
"Did you hear something master?" Omi questioned his master.
"Yes Omi, it seems the stupid blonde traveller received one of the new wind dragon's… presents…"
"Ooh, a present? I too wish for one of these presents…"
"Omi, you do not, believe me my young apprentice"
"I never get anything!" Omi moaned
"How about a ball of string my Haylin apprentice?"
"Oooohhhh, my favourite!"
Back in the temple kitchen…
"Yowch!" Dav yelled while nursing his injured cheek. " I've battled demons who couldn't hit that hard!"
"Hmph"
"However, I can not let that slide kid. I'm gonna teach you a lesson…" Dav growled as he drew his samurai sword.
"You just did!" Aletia hissed.
"Not what I mean kid!"
Dav swung for her with his sword but Aletia proved to be much quicker. As she slid to the side of the deadly sword she grasped the pan handle and sent the cooking instrument swinging at Dav's head which connected directly with his forehead. CLANG!. Dav reeled backwards and almost tripped over a chair. Roaring in anger at being humiliated Dav charged for her again even with the effects of the pan stroke rendering him dizzy. He swung his weapon at her head drunkenly but she ducked and rolled under the large dining table that was in the centre of the room. As she emerged from under the table she saw Dav stumble forwards and insert his foot inside a giant pot accidentally. Still with the pot on his foot he slipped on the tiled floor and he was launched out of the kitchen's window. He landed on the ground under the window with a THUD. Gasping in both surprise and amusement Aletia rushed to the window and glanced out to see where the blonde Balance had landed. His head was firmly stuck in a plant pot which he could not get free.
Standing up he sensed Aletia's presence at the window and with both arms extended he lunged forward to get her. However before his hands (that were grasping at empty air) could reach their target he head butted the top of the window frame with the pot still on his head (the other one also still on his leg). The pot rung in his ears causing him to moan from the pain and dizziness but it did prove to be a good thing. The pot on his head began to crack and then fell away off his head. However he saw Aletia again and shouted "AH HA!" in a very drunken like way but he toppled over backwards unconscious before he could do anything else.
A8A
The mysterious ship that the brothers Taijiya were travelling in had come to a stop at its destination. Both the passengers had however fallen into a troubled sleep after witnessing one of the most evil men in all worlds try his hand at cooking. The young Wolf man was the first of the duo to wake up and realise they had landed. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes Zen stretched his legs to their full length and stood up out of his chair. He stood at the door of the ship and looked out at the spa they had arrived at. It was a simple building by design, like something you find in the holiday resorts of Spain. The walls of the three story house were a bright white just like newly applied plaster. The roof was a slanted one made out of orange tiles that would blind you if the sun was reflecting off it. A simplistic broken paving style path lead upto the house with gravel filling the space either side of it. A white picket fence also lined the path that lead toward the spa.
Leaving his brother behind Zen headed straight for the front door of the property and went inside without knocking. A small reception desk greeted him that had nothing on it apart from a small colour TV for any waiting patrons and a stack of papers that belonged to the staff of the resort. Noticing a bell on hiding under the papers Zen brought his hand down quickly three times to alert someone's attention. After waiting for a few minutes no one came so Zen tried again. But the same nothing greeted him. From behind him however a crashing noise grabbed his attention. Stood in the doorway was Zalak holding the full door in the air by the handle. Shrugging the demi-demon walked upto the reception desk and launched a volley of dark energy behind the desk and through the wall behind.
"That will get their attention…" Zen said sarcastically.
And he was right. A small skinny man with a bushy moustache pretty much ran from the room that connected to the destroyed wall and greeted the two darkness users with a courteous bow.
"Good afternoon gentlemen, my name is Enrique Hotsma, one of the owners of Casa Del Nooky. How may I help you today?"
"My name is Lord Zalak of Astanta where I rule over. I have a weekend booked at your expense because I AM SO IMPORTANT!" Zalak informed the man rather un-convincingly.
"Excuse my dim witted sibling, Zen and Zalak Taijiya are our names and you sent us invitations…"
"Ah yes, the competition winners… Yes, here we are. You have the deluxe rooms with us for the weekend, separate of course."
"Good…" Zen confirmed suspiciously.
"You have full use of our facilities without having to wait or queue…"
"Yes…"
"Without cost to you at all"
"Again, good…"
"Is something wrong sir?" Enrique questioned from behind his bushy moustache.
"I'm waiting for the contract we have to sign, hidden charges or a catch of some kind…"
"Very good sir, no this is no strings attached… well not yet anyway…"
"What is that supposed to mean?" Zen growled
"Oops, I said the loud part quiet and the quiet part loud…" Enrique cursed himself.
"Oh shut up wolfy, it'll be good. We can trust him, I mean, look at that clearly not fake moustache!"
"Fine… for now…"
"Where do we go from here?" Zalak asked with a sense of intelligence (weird I know).
"Just through that door sirs!" The skinny man said as he pointed.
Zen headed through the door without question but Zalak remained at the desk to the man's puzzlement. Zalak watched for anyone else around and then handed Enrique the door he was still holding.
"Oh, err.. Thank you…" the host uttered in a confused way.
A8A
"Hey, watch the hair!" Dav moaned to his new travelling companion.
"Just get us to that place!" Aletia yelled in his ear.
"Don't worry, he will not do anything with anyone!" Dav tried to reassure the angry wind dragon.
"I know, but still… he may be in danger…" Aletia whispered
"DO YOU NOT KNOW HIM AT ALL?" Dav shouted in surprise.
"Meaning?"
"If Zen doesn't like someone, which is most people, he will kill them! I mean he nearly decapitated Tidus the first time they met!"
"Which one is Tidus?"
"The small blonde one who kept turning himself into a nine foot chicken" Dav replied with a grin.
"Why would Zen try to kill him?"
"Because he said you looked cute!"
"Really…" Aletia fell silent which scared Dav.
"Don't be getting any ideas about cheating on Zen you!"
Aletia however didn't respond to the frantic blonde, instead she stared out of the window at the stars as they whizzed by with a dreamy smile on her delicate face.
A8A
Zen suddenly flinched for seemingly no reason that made Zalak turn his head to look at his brother.
"What are you doing?"
"My Aletia is going to cheat on senses are tingling…"
"Wow, she has you well trained!" Zalak announced with a wide grin and a whipping motion with his hand.
"She does not!"
"Suuuuurrrrreeee she doesn't. Hey, that reminds me… Davey-chan hasn't showed up yet!"
"What do you mean?" Zen questioned his psycho brother while scowling at him that Zalak didn't even seem to notice.
"Every time we go somewhere he always comes and either ruins things for us or just gets in the way!" Zalak fumed.
"You mean he either ruins things for you or gets in your way…"
"Is there a difference?"
"Never mind you stupid…."
Knock Knock
The door to the room they were currently stood in creaked open and the small moustached clad man from the front desk stuck his head in. Zalak glanced at the door, saw the apparently floating head and jumped into Zen's arms in fright. Zen simply dropped Zalak to the floor and turned to greet the spa owner. As he began to talk to him a loud bang could be heard followed by another and then another as Zalak fell through the floor and then into the basement.
"Where did your brother go?"
"I don't know…"
"We must find him or the lady will be very displeased"
"Lady?"
"Why, yes, the lady Amazo… erm… the lady… luck, that's it. We are having a poker game and want to invite you two to play with us!" That was very close indeed, the wolf boy is clever…
"Nice cover up story" Zen commented with a fixed scowl again.
"Why thank you… oh shit… if you will excuse me I have to go and wash… my underwear…"
"I knew it!" Zen yelled in anger. "You are that idiot Andrew Thomas!"
"I am not an idiot!"
"You admit it then!"
"Oh hell"
"I will kill you!"
"I am afraid not my hot friend!
"Excuse me?" Zen asked feebly.
"The mistress is ready for you!" Andrew called as he pulled off his moustache and grimaced at the pain.
"Where is she?"
"I right here lover boy!" Came a deep masculine voice from out of the window.
Andrew ran out of the room and all four walls literally fell away to reveal that Zen was in fact stood in a room sized cage. As the fourth wall fell away Zen's worst nightmare was standing over the cage. She licked her huge fish like lips as Zen backed away slowly and against the opposite side of the cage.
"I have you now my love, together we will make lots of nooky!"
"I thought I got rid of you the last time!" Zen yelled angrily.
"No, run but can't hide my kitty boy"
"Oh, man, I am dead!" Zen moaned.
"I do to you many naughty things! Come to me my kitty boy!"
An explosion rocked the cage and the surrounding area as a Gummi Ship crashed to the ground just outside of the spa grounds. Aletia emerged from it with an expression that could kill fish and turn milk into cheese, yes it was that damn bad. She stormed over to where Zen's cage was standing and glared at the Amazon who was still staring at Zen with big lustful eyes. Dav stumbled out of the wreckage of his favourite ship as if he was drunk.
"I'm fine..." He mumbled to himself as he finally noticed everyone, including Aletia, staring at him. "What...? Hey, you trashed my ship you demon woman!"
"Who cares!" Aletia snapped.
"Well, me obviously you twit!" Dav retorted
"It was a piece of junk anyway!"
"Oh yeh? Well, you try and rebuild a broken ship on my budget! Ever since Tidus went whacky-happy with a wrench it hasn't been the same!"
"You're weird!"
"You drag me half the way around the damn universe to save a mutant dog in a cage from an seven foot lusting bitch? If that is normal then I am living the wrong life!"
"Oh, you think that is weird? Then how about you? Running around doing pointless tasks because your friend Sora gets all the interesting things!"
"Say what? You didn't say that I'm jealous of Sora? That is it, I'm out of here!"
Dav disappeared in a flash of light and Aletia was left standing near the cage with everyone staring at her for arguing with him.
"Nice going" A newly emerged Zalak hissed as he appeared from under the rubble of the house that fell on him AFTER he fell through the floors. "You drove away a potential ally who had warping powers and a ship!"
"Oops..." Aletia whispered.
"Mwahahahaha... I can just leave this world and back to Astanta like Spiky did!" Zalak mocked as he opened a dark portal. As he went to step through it a net was thrown over him by Andrew.
"Not so fast lover boy!"
"Oh no, not you..." The demon moaned.
However another flash of light blinded everyone and Dav reappeared with his Buster Blade and one of his guns drawn. He glared at the one half of Thomas Twins.
"You... I thought I killed you! Well, I'm going to make it permanent this time! HA!" He charged at Andrew who yelped like a scared dog and fled. Dav charged after him.
Zalak clawed his way out of the net and looked at the cage that Zen was still housed in.
"Ahem... A hand if you will..." Zen suggested angrily to his brother.
"Say please!" Zalak suggested back playfully.
"I am going to kill you when I get out of here!" Zen roared.
"IF you get out of there, see ya sucker!" Zalak walked off in the same direction as Dav had gone leaving a caged Zen, an angry Aletia and a very horny Amazon.
"Leave little one" The Amazon warned. "I have nooky to perform!"
Aletia responded with a fake confused look at Zen who shrugged and replied. "Nooky… you don't want to know…"
"The blonde guy told me… after some gentle persuasion anyway…"
"Oh… right…" Zen in his mind added Dav to his 'to kill' list in his head.
"Leave!" The Amazon bellowed as she lifted a club in the air.
"It's go time!" Aletia replied viciously as she stood ready to fight.
Will Dav ever fully kill Andrew Thomas? Will Aletia survive her skirmish? Will Zalak ever realise that the world he is on has nothing more than that spa in it? And will Zen escape his cage and enact his 'to kill' list? Find out in the final instalment of Casa Del Nooky!