Chapter 11-For All the Right Reasons

The lyrics belong to their authors, respectively.

"So it was you after all." Said Deeks, grinning.

"I'm afraid you already know the answer, Mr. Deeks." Said Hetty.

"What is that you two are talking about?" asked Callen "I'm the team leader, I have to know."

Deeks chuckled at the thought of his birthday, 8 years ago.

"The thing is, Hetty left me a note for my birthday in 2007. She signed it with HL, and for many years now, I wondered who the person that wished me happy birthday is. I suspected it was Hetty for some time, but I never had a chance to really verify that. When she said "Rise and shine Mister Deeks", I recalled that the anonymous person wrote the same thing in the note."

"I think that Hetty had the eye on you since 2007, Deeks." Said Sam "And believe me, she observed all the other agents that joined the NCIS, including me."

"She has a knack for blonde surfers." Said Kensi, smirk forming on her face.

"Okay, okay, stop it you two." Said Hetty "Although, you are right. I admit that I wanted Mr. Deeks on my team long before he joined."

Deeks felt happy to have his friends at his side and that everyone watched out for him.

"Thank you guys."

"For what Deeks?"

"For being here for me. I know that I did some things that I didn't like, that might've hurt you, but either way you stayed with me all the way. You didn't leave me, like it happened in my past like with some colleagues in the LAPD."

Callen was struck by the emotions in Deeks' voice and that competed the picture Callen had for Deeks. He knew that some of his former colleagues despised him, but he hadn't the slightest idea that they left him alone in the line of duty. Instead of having his back, they left him to the wolves. Deeks' life was surrounded with roughness and hate, that Callen was surprised how Deeks managed to be happy and smile all the time. Now he knew.

"You don't have to thank us Deeks." Said Callen "We are sworn to protect and serve, but first and foremost for us is the safety of our agents. We watch our backs, but we also watch the back of our colleagues and friends. And I speak on behalf of all of us, not just you."

Callen's words touched Deeks deeply. He never thought that he'll hear Callen to refer him as an agent.

"I think that we should leave Mr. Deeks alone." Said Hetty "He suffered enough and he needs rest and sleep. I don't think he had enough sleep these past few weeks."

"I want to talk to Kensi." Said Deeks.

"Okay, Ms. Blye will stay, and the rest of you, there's the door."

Hetty slowly walked to the door.

The room emptied and Kensi and Deeks were left alone.

"Hey Fern."

"Hey Max."

"How've you been Fern?"

"How've you been Max?" They spoke in unison.

"I've seen better days."

"Mhm. Is there something that I should know?"

"I don't think so."

"Hey, Deeks sorry I couldn't have your back at the Marina."

"You don't have to apologize Kens. I know that I hadn't any chances against Ruiz and Tanevski. They had a plan, and if you tried to do something you could've been hurt, too."

"Do you hurt?"

"My whole body hurts, but it will pass. The wounds on the inside is what I'm worried about Kens. I'm afraid they'll eat me alive."

Kensi was surprised at how open was Deeks. He had poor communication skills for sure, but she saw a change in him, admitting finally what's bothering him.

"I know what you think Deeks, and believe me they will heal. Give them time."

"I always give them time Kens, but when I think they are healed, they reopen again. It's like the past makes conspiracy against me."

"Everything will come to an end Deeks."

"I know."

"And I'll be there for you every step on the way Deeks. Even when you can't see me."

Deeks remembered the time he told her those same words, and smiled. But, that wasn't a real smile because it didn't reach his eyes. He had lost the spark in his eyes. Kensi noticed that there was something else that happened in that house on North Sierra Bonita Avenue. The way he put his shaky hand in his hair, set off alarms in Kensi's head.

"Do you want to tell me what happened when you were held captive Marty?"

Deeks looked at his chest and started shaking. Kensi touched him lightly on the hand, as to stop the shaking, but he jerked away.

"It will help you, if you talk."

She heard him sobbing and she shivered as she wiped the tears off his cheeks.

"Hey, I didn't mean to upset you. Here calm down."

Kensi sat on the bed and Deeks leaned his head on her shoulder. She gently took him in her arms and rocked him until he calmed down. He hissed as he tried to get up.

"Where are you going?"

"I want to go to the bathroom."

The moment Deeks stepped on the floor he felt dizziness. He gripped the railing of the bed tight, and he closed his eyes as he tried to awash the pain. He gripped the railing so tight that his knuckles whitened.

"Let me help you." Said Kensi.

She helped him to the bathroom. He locked the door and stayed in there for a long time. He splashed his face with water and looked himself in the mirror. When he saw the bruise he had on the left eye and the stitches on his left cheek he remembered a long forgotten day with his father. He closed his eyes and he touched his cheek, as the memories from his childhood flooded in his mind like the Rio Bravo River.

…

-1988-

Gordon John Brandel sat in the bar the whole day and he drank whiskey. It was his daily routine when he wasn't working. Well, even if he was working, he drank, but he was careful not to drink too much. Funny, how a man with his habits could hold a job for a longer time.

Marty pulled on a sweater with long sleeves and his jacket. His legs hurt from the "altercation" he got last night with his father, but he managed to go to school with his new bike. The man was an abuser, but when it came to presents, Marty always got what he wanted. Well, almost everything. The only thing he wasn't allowed to have was pet. And Gordon John Brandel made clear the statement that day.

On the way back from school Marty found a beautiful dog. It was Golden Retriever puppy. He took it with him. But, he sensed the trouble before he crossed the threshold.

His father was already drunk and he stumbled every few feet. The dog sensed something was wrong and barked. When Gordon heard the barking he twisted his head in a weird way, and headed for the dog. The dog stood perfectly still barking louder and louder. Marty froze in place. He choked one shy "run" when his father grabbed the dog by the neck. He took his neck in his hands and squeezed it so hard that the dog didn't stand a chance. The dog dropped dead in front of Marty's feet. He couldn't move. He felt Gordon's breath on his neck as he took him by the throat. Marty tried to run, but he stumbled on a stone and he fell on the ground. He felt blood streak from his nose. The next moment Gordon kicked him so hard on the legs that his head hurt. He grabbed him by his hair and pulled him till they entered the house.

Gordon fixed his eyes on Marty's eyes and kicked Marty in the lower abdomen while he still had him by his hair with the other hand. That made Marty throw up his lunch. He clutched his hands on his stomach and he leaned on the floor hissing. He wouldn't let Gordon to feel proud that he had a chance to break him.

Marty breathed heavily. He hadn't idea how long it passed since Gordon left, but he got up and slumped on the couch in pains. He managed to close his eyes and sleep a little.

The next thing he knew was that Gordon splashed him with water. His body protested as he got up suddenly, but he quickly felt Gordon's hands pulling his sweater up in his hands. He struggled to keep the sweater on, but he lost the battle when Gordon hit him hard in the left side of the face.

He knew what was next when Gordon pulled his pants low on the ankles. He took out the belt from his pants and started beating Marty. Blood streaked from everywhere and soon Marty couldn't breathe. He crawled on the floor as he searched for an object that might hold his weight as he tried to stand up, but got caught by Gordon. He took him in his room and left him there. Marty could still feel the alcohol in his breath.

By the age of 9, Marty Brandel knew the basics of first aid and he knew how to cure his wounds. He wouldn't let anyone near him. He wanted to show them that he was strong.

His whole body ached and he felt few cracked ribs under his touch. He could still feel the blows and kicks mixed with the belt on his skin. He crawled to the closet and he pulled out a pair of jeans and his favorite black sweatshirt. He took underwear and socks from the drawer, and slowly entered the bathroom. He let the shower on and he washed his wounds crying out loud every time he touched one of them. After he dried, he put on his underwear and took the first aid kit. He disinfected the wounds and he tried to close them as best as he could.

Then, he pulled on his jeans and the sweatshirt. For a brief moment he stopped breathing hearing nothing, but the silence. There was no one home and he took his jacket. Before he left the house, he briefly looked himself in the mirror, noticing how swelled his left cheek was. Then he got out.

…

He felt like that time when he was 9 years old. Lost in his thoughts he didn't hear Kensi calling him out. He said "I'm coming" and unlocked the door. Kensi grabbed his shaky hand as he opened the door, and he fought hard not to fall down as he stepped out of the bathroom. His head hurt and his heart thumped so loud he thought that Kensi could hear it. He felt bitterness in his mouth, but he couldn't tell if it was from the concussion, or from the memory.

"You okay Deeks?" Kensi asked worry clear in her voice.

"No, I'm not okay." He said admitting for the first time what he really felt.

Kensi helped him to lie down on the bed and she pulled the covers, adjusting them as she noticed how hard Deeks' moves were. He hurt and she didn't like it when her man hurt.

Kensi placed a kiss on Deeks' forehead and she left the room.

Deeks hummed the lyrics from One Republic's song "All Fall Down" as he went to sleep. He needed rest.

Step out the door and it feels like rain
That's the sound (that's the sound) on your window pane
Take to the streets but you can't ignore
That's the sound (that's the sound) you're waiting for…

…Whenever your world starts crashing down
That's when you'll find me…

…We just can't get it right
But we're on the road…

Lost till you're found
Swim till you drown

Know that we all fall down
Love till you hate
Strong till you break
Know that we all fall down…

…

Kristijan Tanevski took off with Ruiz's Escalade and the weapons into the night. It was already dusk and he felt he went out of time when he saw the woman approach the garage. He needed to throw away the SUV quickly, so he made a stop first at a gas station. He filled the tank to the bottom, and he bought food and few burn phones. The first phone call went to a friend of his that owned a car sales shop. The second phone call went to the buyer of the weapons. He already had an agreement with a certain person.

But, the NCIS team, especially Deeks hadn't the slightest idea what info Tanevski had on them, especially on someone's best friend that was in witness protection somewhere. He knew that the documents were sealed, but he had access to a tech operator (to whom the third phone call went) that managed to open them. He decided to lay low for a few days so the search for him will stop. In that time he made the plans how to approach Ray Martindale and how to draw the attention of the detective.

Kristijan Tanevski considered the debt that detective Marty Deeks had with him, unpaid.

"You will pay detective. Just wait until I regain my strength."

Tanevski's vendetta, as he wanted to call it, was for all the right reasons.

…