Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who.
Beautiful In Blue
Chapter Eleven
When Anna made her suggestion, the Doctor couldn't believe his ears. "You've got to be kidding. You do realise that's impossible, right? You can't form a bond with more than two people!" he protested.
Anna quirked an eyebrow, and gave the Doctor a patronisingly sympathetic smile. "You can't" she informed him, much to his chagrin. River decided that she did indeed like Anna, after all. "How would a three way bond work?" she asked, feeling more interested in where this was going, and less likely to burst into tears again.
"Well, it wouldn't be a bond as such" said Anna, as she casually examined her fingernails, "it'd be more like sharing out our piles of good things to balance out the piles of bad things". The Doctor grinned in reminiscent joy. "You remembered what I said, oh, you clever…ahem, anyway, Anna, are you sure you've thought all of this through?" he inquired hesitantly.
Brown eyes narrowed at his, and Anna's mouth thinned to a tight line as she scowled in irritation. "Of course I have, Thief" she replied through gritted teeth, "and it would be pleasant, perhaps, if you deigned to trust me". The sharp tone of her voice, and the annoyed expression of her face combined to make the Doctor feel quite guilty. "Sorry. I trust you, of course I do. Right, let's get your mind sorted, Mrs Song" he announced, pulling River out of her seat and down the corridor. Anna rolled her eyes and followed them, to make sure they made it to the Zero Room.
/
River's head was pounding, but when she stepped over the threshold and into the Zero Room, a weight seemed to rise from her shoulders, and she gave a soft sigh of relief. The Doctor grinned happily at the effect it was having on her, and at the chance to show off. "We're completely cut off from all outside interference, even the laws of physics. Watch this" he boasted, before he willed himself to levitate.
The Doctor's wife was impressed; his TARDIS less so. "We are here to heal River's subconscious, Thief, not to float about" she scolded her pilot.
"Quit acting like my mother".
"Cease behaving like a child".
The Doctor proceeded to behave like a very young child by sticking his tongue out at her. He gave River an encouraging grin, and she found it so infectious that she couldn't help but smile back.
"Are you ready, River? I won't push you, if you're not" Anna reassured her kindly. River took a deep breath and nodded. "It's fine, I'm ready" she said confidently. Anna carefully pressed her fingers against River's temples, raised her own telepathic shields, and prepared to enter the other woman's mind.
"I'm not as good at this as my Sisters; of course, there are none of them left to compare myself to" Anna admitted in a rather melancholy way. Then she shook her head to refocus. "Remember, if there's anything you don't want me to see, put it behind a closed door" she instructed. River couldn't nod easily with fingers pressing on her temples, but Anna sensed her understanding. Slowly but surely, Anna pushed past River's poorly constructed barriers and into her mind.
With grave sadness, Anna observed the sight of River's shattering psyche. Memories overlaid memories, until they blurred and it became impossible to tell one from the others. Memories that should have been filled with happiness instead were tainted with tear wrenching sadness. Negative desires, thoughts and fears swirled like serrated leaves in a windstorm, jabbing at River's attention and slicing through her flimsy mental walls. There were doors dotted all over, but they were fragile and insecure.
Beginning straight away, Anna began by sending out healing tendrils to every nook and cranny of River's mind. She moved with meticulous care through River's subconscious, healing and ordering it all as she went.
She began to form a pattern within River's mind, one that would feel natural and comfortable. First, she pieced together as many of River's memories as she could, and gave them the imaginary form of smooth pebbles in a river bed. The water was the form of River's emotions; Anna created bands of them, happy, sad, angry and so forth; with the thoughts and memories that were connected to them in the correct streams of 'water'.
Strewn along the banks of River's mental stream were the familiar places of her life. Out here near the mouth, Anna could see Amy and Rory's semi-detached, looking oddly out of place without the houses on either side. On the other side of the river was the sprawling complex of Storm Cage, complete with thunder and lightning. However, Anna willed herself to reach the source of the river; and also, the source of River's problems.
She found herself outside the entrance to Graystark Hall, recognising it from her Thief's memories. The gate was locked and barred; Anna placed her hands on it and sent out a sensation of seeking admittance. There was a moment of creaking hesitance, before the chains unravelled themselves and the gates swung open beneath her palms.
Inside the memory construct, Anna encountered River's memories of Dr Renfrew and of Madame Kovarian. They were as ghosts, utterly harmless, but she still felt a jolt of hatred at the sight of that foul woman. She left the memories muttering to themselves and ascended the staircase to Melody Pond's bedroom. A door opened at her approach and Anna knew that she had reached the right part of River's mind.
River's first incarnation, Melody Pond, lived within the walls of this imaginary orphanage; only for her, it wasn't imaginary. Melody's world consisted of the building and the memories, which she perceived as ghosts, haunting it. There had never been anything new, so she was very surprised when a woman she'd never seen before came into her room. "Hello, Melody. My name is Anna" she uttered softly, smiling like an angel. Melody looked up at her, full of curiosity.
"Who are you? I've never seen you before" Melody told her. Anna sat down in a chair and held out her arms in a gesture of welcome. "My name is Anna. Come here, child. It's okay, I'm not going to hurt you" she said tenderly. At first, Melody hung back out of fear, but Anna's caring eyes and gentle smile won her over. She trotted over and allowed herself to be picked up and cuddled.
Cradling Melody in her lap, Anna promised the little girl that she wouldn't be harmed, and asked her why she seemed so afraid. "I thought Mels had sent you" the little girl whispered, and Anna shook her head. "No, I was invited here. Melody, do you know anyone called River Song?" she inquired.
Melody nodded eagerly, as pleased to know the answer as any child would be. Then her face fell, and she sniffed. "Sometimes, I can hear River and Mels arguing with each other. Mels says I have to be like her and hate the Doctor, but River says I have to be like her and trust him. I don't know what to do" she lamented.
"It's your choice, Melody. Mels cannot force you to be someone you don't want to be. But you should know, that the Doctor isn't the man I'm sure Mels told you he is. He and I only want to help you, and Mels, and River".
Melody fell silent, thinking hard. At last she looked up at Anna with a questioning expression, and asked "Are you sure the Doctor isn't a bad man?"
"I've never been surer of anything in my life" replied Anna, and the certainty in her voice seemed to convince Melody a tiny bit.
"And he isn't angry and scary?"
"The only time the Doctor becomes angry or scary, is when people he cares about are in danger".
Melody sniffed again and gave Anna a small smile. "Thank you for trying to make me feel better….but I, I still can't choose. I don't want Mels to be cross. She says she'll h-hurt me if I make her c-c-cross!" she explained, with a small sob. Anna gave Melody a comforting smile and hugged her again.
"Don't worry dear, I'll speak to Mels, and make her see sense. Come on, I think it's time you were in bed". She ushered a weakly protesting Melody into bed, and tucked her in. It all felt so natural; was this a side effect of her pregnancy? Of impending motherhood?
"I wish I had a teddy bear" sighed Melody.
"You can have anything you ask for, Melody Pond. The world you live in is very special, it grants wishes" Anna told her conspiratorially, with a wink. Melody's eyes widened in childish wonder; then she closed them tightly and whispered under her breath. When she opened her eyes, a bright orange teddy bear wearing a red cape was sitting on the bed. With a cry of delight, Melody tugged it towards her and held on tight.
"Good night, Anna. Thank you" she murmured sleepily. Anna chuckled lightly and kissed her on the forehead. "Sweet dreams, little one".
With a deep breath, Anna willed herself to another corner of River's subconscious. It was time to confront Mels.
/
Mels lived within a small cottage, another memory construct of the place at which she stayed whilst living in Leadworth. It had never felt like home.
She was not entirely surprised when Anna marched into her living room. "Mels" she greeted the younger woman curtly. All of the warmth and gentleness that had captivated little Melody Pond, were swallowed by Anna's supreme disappointment.
"I'm gonna have you arrested, for breaking and entering" Mels said impolitely, giving Anna an evil leer.
"Stop this right now" Anna scolded; but Mels only scoffed at her, and replied "What, did you think you could just jump into River's head, tell me I'm being naughty and I'd just stop? Don't make me laugh".
Anna raised an eyebrow. "So you know that your reality is River's subconscious" she stated, eyeing Mels carefully. If she had worked out that her world was not real, it would explain how easily she was able to manipulate it, as if she were experiencing a constant lucid dream.
"Well, duh, of course I knew that, ever since I got stuck in here, not like Melody, she's just a stupid kid" Mels said lazily, and Anna frowned at her in disapproval.
"You've been threatening Melody and River, trying to twist them to your own ends. Yet if you know this isn't real, then you know that your mission is over. You can do anything you want here, why are you so desperate to cling to the past?" she asked, and unwittingly struck a nerve. Mels, who had been cold shouldering her as she spoke, rounded on Anna with a furious and pained expression.
"Don't you get it, the past is all I have! It's all I know!" she shouted, and Anna finally saw the echo of the innocent girl Mels used to be…the girl Mels should have been. Chasing away these regretful thoughts, Anna waited for Mels to speak again. Goaded by the older woman's silence, she continued to rant, attempting to provoke Anna into a response of some sort.
"No one ever tries to see it from my point of view, do they? It's always 'River is special, 'River is in trouble', and I'm bloody sick to death of her. I was taken from my parents because of him, and then, when they finally find out who I am, I get shot. Do they care? No, they start worrying about River Song, worrying about the Doctor; and then she goes and saves him, the manipulative murdering liar who condemned me to a life of misery because of his own selfishness!"
Mels panted as her tirade came to an end; she gave Anna a death glare, but merely received a tilted head and a raised brow in return. "I see" Anna said quietly, as she rose from her chair. "Before I leave, just tell me one more thing. Is there anyone who can convince you? Anyone whose advice you respect?" she inquired of Mels, who huffed and shrugged, but refused to answer.
Anna locked the door of the cottage behind her; she didn't wish to have to imprison Mels, but it was for her own good. Hopefully, it would not be too late to help Mels; because she was the key to helping River.
She retreated from River's subconscious, and strengthened her oceanic like telepathic barrier as she did so. As she emerged from the telepathic trance, she heard River give a soft sigh of contentment and relief. The Doctor was also relieved; they'd been mentally linked for just under an hour, and he'd begun to worry that something had gone wrong. Several times River had seemed on the verge of collapse, as if Anna's fingers on her temples were the only things keeping her upright.
Then Anna released her, and River fainted right into the Doctor's arms. He checked her pulse, and deduced that she merely needed a few moments of rest as her mind re-adjusted. Scooping her up in his arms, the Doctor smiled down at River and then winked at Anna. "Well done, old girl" he congratulated her; but Anna swiftly shook her head and replied "We're not finished yet, my Doctor. Come; let us place River someplace more comfortable".
This more comfortable place turned out to be Anna's own bedroom, which she had subconsciously moved nearer to the Zero Room. The very moment that River's eyes opened, and her green irises focused on herself and the Doctor, Anna burst out in a flurry of excited speech. "I know how to heal you!"
/
A/N: Please review! It's the only thing that's encouraging me to keep writing this story, knowing people are still interested. And don't be afraid to suggest improvements, I'll take it all on board!