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Hello, everyone! Welcome back to another chapter of my second Hawaii Five-O fic! If you haven't already, please check out Boundless as the Sea, my first story. If you're enjoying this one, I think that you'll enjoy that one as well.

Thank you so much to everyone that has read, reviewed, favorited, followed, and private messaged. I really appreciate each and every one of you!

Disclaimer: I obviously do not own the Hawaii Five-O characters, though I certainly wish that I did. All of the OCs are of my own creation. And, similarly to my last Hawaii Five-O story, I will not be following the timeline of the show, nor will I use every single plot that they've introduced. I really only use the characters and a few of the storylines. So, if you're reading something and you think, "no, that can't be right because Steve had already met Catherine" or "but that doesn't make sense because Danny said this in season two…" just know that it does make sense in my own little Hawaii Five-O universe.

Lastly, if you like the chapter, please consider leaving a review! I absolutely love to read your thoughts and opinions. My previous readers also know that I'm more likely to update quickly if I'm getting a lot of reviews, because reviews equal motivation to me. Also consider favoriting and following the story and/or me. Thanks in advance!

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Chapter Eleven: Some Things Never Change

Bailey

"I thought you'd be happier about this," I confessed as I watched my husband zip up his duffel bag, face like stone. "We always talked about having five kids. Ethan and Sarah are in school now, and I think that the spacing is good."

"Another kid right now just isn't a good idea," he said, voice low.

My stomach dropped and I felt nauseous. And not in a morning sickness kind of way. "It might not just be an idea, Jacob."

"I don't even know if I want to know."

The confession was like a slap in the face. "Are you serious right now?"

"Not forever," he amended, but the damage was already done. "Springing this on me when I'm about to head out for an op really wasn't the best timing on your part."

I simultaneously wanted to shake some sense into him and slap him for being an idiot. "You didn't tell me that you were heading out on an op tomorrow morning! I thought we were just having a normal dinner. You talked to Ethan and Sarah about school. We washed dishes together and I thought I'd mention that I'm planning to go and buy some tests because I'm late and I've been feeling a little off lately. Next thing I know, you're storming up here to pack a bag because you're off to God knows where tomorrow."

He threw his arms up in exasperation. "Forgive me for defending our country."

"That's not what this is about, and you know that. We've talked about having another child and now that I'm telling you that it is a real possibility, you don't want to know?"

Uttering a word that wasn't pretty, he sank down onto the bed, anger and frustration warring on his face. "Go buy a test, then. Let's get it over with."

"Get it over with." The words were barely a whisper on my lips. Tears blurred my vision as I turned and headed for the door. "Fine. I'll get it over with. I'll text you with the results."

"Bailey-"

I shut the door behind me before he could say anything else, and he didn't come after me. He probably figured that I needed a bit of space – and he would be very correct in thinking so.

It hadn't even been that long ago that Jacob and I had talked about having another baby. We'd just finished unpacking the last box after our move to Hawaii and he'd made a joke about it when I'd told him to put the baby clothes in the attic to save for our next baby.

"How about I keep them down here and we start working on it?" he'd asked me as he grabbed me.

I'd laughed and said, "You think you're ready for middle of the night diaper changes again?"

"Definitely."

Now, suddenly, it wasn't the right time. I snorted as I grabbed the keys off of the hook and headed into the garage. It was entirely possible that he was just stressed about the upcoming op. But that didn't make it acceptable.

The trip to the store was quick, and I soon returned to find Jacob sitting on the stairs, waiting for me.

"You should be in bed," I said, much as I would have if I'd found Ethan or Sarah sitting there instead.

"So should you," he murmured and rose, reaching out for me. "I'm sorry, Bailey. I don't know what got into me. I'd be incredibly happy to have another baby. I guess I'm just a little worked up."

I gave him my hand and he pulled me closer, pressing his forehead to mine.

"Forgive me?" he murmured.

A stubborn, immature part of me wanted to say no, but I pushed that urge aside and nodded. "I forgive you."

He was smiling when he pulled back. "I love you. So…" He gestured to the bag in my hand. "Should we go find out if I need to bring the baby boxes down from the attic?"

The corners of my lips curled up in a smile and I nodded. "I guess there's no sense in delaying the inevitable."

As we climbed the stairs, he asked me, "Boy or girl, do you think?"

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves."

Five minutes later, Jacob gave me a small, slightly sad smile. "I'm sorry. I know that you were excited about the possibility. But we can try again next month. If you're ready to get pregnant right away, we can do that ovulation tracker thing."

I nodded and forced myself to smile. "Yeah. I'm just going to wash my face and brush my teeth and then I'll come to bed, okay?"

"Okay." He kissed me quickly and retreated, leaving me alone in a bathroom that felt both too big and too small.

The single pink line stared back at me from the counter, taunting me.

I picked it up and stared, trying desperately to blink back the tears and hold it together.

Grieve. The voice was twelve years old, but I heard it just as clearly as if he was in the room with me. You'll never heal if you don't allow yourself to grieve.

With the wisdom reverberating through my skull, I sank down onto the floor and cried.

Steve

The surprise that I felt at seeing Bailey's name on my phone was nothing compared to the joy. Pushing both aside, I answered. "Hey, Bailey. What's up?"

"I, uh… I need a favor."Her voice was off… guilty, nervous, anxious.

Turning away from the crime scene, I asked, "What is it? Are you okay?"

"I'm…" She laughed without humor. "Yes, I'm okay. Jacob left a few days ago on an op, so it's just me and the kids, and… I'm not doing so well. I could use a bit of adult interaction, I think." I could tell that it had taken a lot for her to admit that.

"Sure. Did you want me to come over?" Belatedly, I realized that maybe suggesting that I come over to her house while her husband was out of the country wasn't the best idea.

But before I could rescind the offer, she accepted. "That would be great. The kids were asking for pizza, if you wanted to come over for dinner."

It was probably a bad idea. "Perfect. And luckily for you three, I know where to get the best pizza on the island."

There was finally the hint of a smile in her voice. "That is lucky. They'll eat anything, so supreme is fine."

"Extra cheese and thin crust?" I confirmed.

"That would be correct."

"Great. I'll see you all tonight at five-ish."

"See you then."

"I don't think that someone would even need to be a detective to figure out who you're talking to."

I spun to see Danny standing a few feet away, arms akimbo, eyes slightly narrowed. "Did you need something?"

He gestured to the phone in my hand, ignoring my question. "Was that Bailey?"

"You're the ace detective. You tell me."

With a roll of his eyes, he followed me as I made my way back to the crime scene to have a look around. "Did I hear that you're taking pizza over to her place?"

"I am."

"Did I also hear and understand correctly that her husband will not be there?"

I muttered a curse under my breath and looked over at him. "How much did you hear?"

"Enough."

Rolling my eyes, I knelt down beside some blood splatter. "Obviously. Look at this. Our victim was killed here and then moved to the next room." I pointed to some lighter spots. "And someone tried to clean up here."

"They don't have a future in housekeeping." Danny pinned me with an intent look. "Steven, look at me. Answer my question."

He wasn't going to give it up, so I sighed and moved closer to speak in a low tone. "No, her husband will not be there. He's on an op right now, and Bailey could use some adult interaction. I'm going over there with pizza, that's all."

"And you'll leave before the kids are in bed." It didn't sound like a question, but he was clearly waiting for a response.

"That's the plan."

I actually didn't have a plan, but he didn't need to know that.

"Good." Nodding in approval, he went back to examining the crime scene.

I waved Chin over and asked him to get started on the background of our victim. Kono joined the group to talk about what she'd found at the scene and as she spoke, I realized that I wanted to solve this case especially quickly.

Surely that didn't have anything to do with the pizza party at Bailey's…

Bailey

"You didn't have to do that."

In truth, I felt a little guilty for not pushing back harder when Sarah had said that she wanted Steve to read her a bedtime story and sing bedtime songs. Steve had protested gently, saying that he didn't even know any songs, but Sarah had grabbed his hand and insisted that she could teach him everything that he needed to know. So, she'd marched him off to her room and I'd been left to attend to Ethan, actually relieved that the bedtime workload had been cut in half.

"I'm glad that I did." Steve's smile was full of mirth. "I've been singing Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star incorrectly all these years."

I laughed, picturing the tough, stalwart Steve McGarrett singing nursery rhymes at crime scenes. "She does tend to rewrite the lyrics quite a bit."

"I'll say. There was a whole verse about a polar bear eating ice cream."

"That's a new one. Can I offer you a nightcap?"

The second that I'd finished my question, I wished that I could take it back without sounding rude. It was probably unwise to offer him alcohol and let him stay now that the kids were in bed and Jacob was away. But having his company had been so nice; I'd almost been able to completely relax for the first time since Jacob's departure to parts unknown.

"Sure," he accepted, sealing my fate. "Nothing too heavy, though. I have to work in the morning."

"Me too." I headed into the kitchen and heard him following me. "I think I'll just have another glass of wine. But we also have some whiskey and a little bit of scotch. Not a kind you'd like, though."

Steve laughed softly. "I am still pretty picky about scotch. Can I just take another beer?"

I twisted the cork out of the bottle of wine that I'd grabbed from the fridge. "Sure. Let me just-"

"I've got it," he assured me and opened the fridge to pull out a bottle of beer. "You've got your hands full. With the kids, too. But they're great." He twisted the top off and threw it away. "You doing okay with Jacob being gone?"

We hadn't talked about it at dinner, of course, because the kids didn't need to hear it. But I had called him and asked him to come over because I needed some adult interaction. No doubt, he'd picked up on the anxiety in my voice, even over the phone. I should have expected him to ask me about it.

"It's hard for the kids." I put the wine away and then leaned back against the counter. "Sarah especially. She still doesn't quite get what Jacob does."

Before I could continue, he said, "I'm sure that's hard, but I wasn't asking about Sarah. I was asking about you."

I felt myself start to grow warm under his attention and I headed for the living room just to distract myself. "Do you mind if I start a movie? It helps me unwind before bed when Jacob is gone."

"I don't mind. Were you planning to answer my question, or did I step out of bounds?"

The remote weighed heavily in my hand as I scrolled through the list of recorded movies. The easy thing would have been to tell Steve that I didn't think that it was appropriate that he was here while Jacob was away and the kids were in bed. That's what I should have done.

The problem with that was that I didn't feel that way. We weren't having an affair; we were talking. What Steve and I once shared had ended for a reason, and as long as I kept that reason in mind, everything would be fine.

Would Jacob see it that way?

Well, he would just have to, I decided.

"You're not out of bounds." With a sigh, I started a random movie and sank down onto the couch. "I feel like my job right now is just to make sure that everyone is okay."

"And no one's making sure that you're okay?" Steve joined me on the couch, sitting at the far end, facing me.

"I think I've told you before that when you're a mental health professional, everyone expects you to be able to handle not being okay. Or they just don't think about the possibility that you could not be okay because of course you're okay. It's your job to be okay."

"But it's not. It's your job to help other people learn to be okay. Their happiness isn't your responsibility, but your own is. Is something making you unhappy?"

His ability to read me was unsurprising. I didn't think that there was any amount of time apart that would diminish that intense and natural connection between our minds. "Not unhappy, necessarily."

I paused, wondering if telling him would upset him. Also wondering if it was appropriate to tell him. Then, I decided that he was right. My happiness was my responsibility. I needed to stop worrying so much about everything else.

"I'm not pregnant."

Steve's eyebrows rose slightly in surprise and he took a long swig of beer. "Did you think that you were?"

"I did. And Jacob…" I paused, wondering how to phrase it so that Jacob didn't come out sounding like the bad guy. "He wasn't exactly enthused about the idea, even though we'd talked about it very recently. We had an argument, but we made up before he left. I just…" My eyes misted just thinking about it and I felt like an idiot. To distract myself, I finished off my wine.

After it became clear that I was done speaking for a bit, Steve cleared his throat. "You once told me that they'd done a study and determined that the grief that is most often the hardest to actually move on from is the grief over the loss of possibility. Of what could have been." The emotion in his voice was raw. "Do you still think that's true?"

"Yes." There was no doubt in my mind. "Yes, I still think that's very true."

He smiled gently and reached out, arm hovering along the back of the couch, offering me his hand.

I took it, not trusting myself to move any closer to him in such a vulnerable state. "Thank you for coming tonight."

"I'm here for you, Bailey. No matter what."

"At least some things never change."

Something heavy and powerful hung between us, but neither of us were brave enough to address it.

Probably for the best.

"That's so unrealistic," Steve said, pointing at the screen. "Who holds a gun like that?"

I turned my attention to the movie. "Why? What's wrong with it?"

"I taught you how to hold a gun, so I know you're teasing," Steve said, but proceeded to lecture me anyway.

I fell asleep with a smile on my face, my hand still enclosed in Steve's.

Steve

I woke up with sore muscles and a horrible crick in my neck.

As I became more alert, I realized where I was.

At Bailey's house. Sitting on her couch.

Holding her.

I remembered that we'd fallen asleep holding hands, but we had obviously moved in the night and now she was nestled into my side, her head on my shoulder. She smelled and felt so familiar that an ache formed in my chest.

The clock on the wall informed me that it was almost seven in the morning.

I was going to be late for work.

She inhaled deeply in her sleep and then moved just a tiny bit closer, exhaling as she turned her face up, her warm breath tickling the side of my neck.

I have to get out of here before I fall much further.

It took me nearly five minutes to extricate myself and settle Bailey comfortably on the couch with a blanket laid over her.

And as I headed out to my truck, I was surprised at the amount of regret that I felt for leaving.