Chapter 11 – Faults
Emma sat on her bed, tears silently falling down her cheeks as she let everything catch up to her. Up until a few minutes ago, she had been hastily throwing what little she had into a suitcase she had picked up on the way back from the cemetery and trying not to cry. Then she'd come across the photo of Regina and her apple tree, the forced smile that usually adorned her face was gone, her features were much softer, happier. It was one of the only times Emma had ever seen Regina like that. Regina had told Emma that she felt happy with Henry, but the blonde suspected that since the whole curse thing started up, Henry had been hurting Regina more than anything else.
The photo was taken the day Emma had decided to tell Regina she wanted more, from her, from their relationship. Emma had taken her against the apple tree, in the middle of the day when Henry was at school and no one was around. Regina had divulged that it had been a fantasy of hers for a long time, and after Regina had returned the favour, Emma had changed the rules. Emma had unwittingly put them on a path that would end with Regina, breaking down by her father's grave and Emma having to leave her there.
"I'm going to cook something," She'd said as she followed Regina into the house, Regina's head snapped round to look at her curiously, her hair was still dishevelled and her skirt hadn't been pulled all the way down, but she still managed to look intimidating. "You go do your mayor thing and I'll have lunch ready in a bit."
"Miss Swan," Regina sighed, raking her hand through her hair.
"Mayor Mills," Emma replied, placing her hands on Regina's hips and bringing them closer so that they were pressed against each other, "I want to do this,"
"You want to make lunch?" Regina tried to gain some control over the situation, already knowing what Emma was asking, and knowing she'd give it to her.
"No, not lunch," Emma smiled slipping her hands around Regina's back and burying her face in the crook of her neck, moving her eyes to look at Regina's profile, "Us, I want more."
"Emma?" Emma was pulled from her memories by Henry's voice at her doorway; she blinked a couple times, her vision as blurry. She had been crying. She didn't look up at her roommate, just continued to stare at the picture in her hand. "What're you doing?"
"I'm going away for a few days," It wasn't technically a lie, she was going away, it would just be for a little longer than a few days, maybe a lot longer. She'd come back eventually of course, she didn't have the strength not to.
"What?" Henry rushed over to Emma, who quickly slipped the photo she was holding into the pocket of her leather jacket. "You can't leave! The curse, you have to stop the Evil Queen!" Emma half laughed, half sobbed and shook her head, looking up from her lap into her son's, their son's eyes.
"It's not forever kid, I'm coming back." Emma took his hands in hers, ignoring the Evil Queen part of Henry's protest, if she could keep Regina out of this conversation…
"But she's evil!" Emma sighed, so much for that, and Henry shook her hands, as if that would make her understand. "She's evil and you can't leave me with her." Emma looked back at her lap, the tears starting to well up in Henry's eyes as his expression turned into the same pleading look that Regina had given her in the cemetery, begging for her to just understand, washed over his features. It was too much.
"She's not evil Henry," Emma said, willing herself not to cry again before facing Henry again, "She's just…" Lonely, scared, broken, all of the above?
"She did something didn't she?" Henry dropped Emma's hands, realisation washing over his face, "She poisoned you; gave you a potion or something to make you leave!" Emma shook her head tiredly, 'She didn't make me fall in love kid, that was all me.' "Don't worry, you're strong. You can fight it." Oh God, she was so done with fighting.
"She didn't give me anything Henry," Emma sighed, "A friend needs me; I have to leave." That was true, Regina was a friend, and she needed Emma to leave just as much as the blonde herself needed to get away. "I'm coming back though kid," Emma stood, placing her hands over Henry's shoulders and hoping that Henry could see reassurance in her face, past her glistening eyes and cheeks marred with dried tears and mascara.
Henry shook his head, frowning as he let tears fall. He lunged the few inches between himself and Emma, squeezing his arms tightly around Emma's stomach, crying into her jacket.
"Please," Henry said, as Emma circled his head with her arms, "Don't go, whatever she did to you we can fix. We can't let her win. She has to pay for what she did, I hate her." Emma pulled Henry away from her, squeezing a little tighter on his shoulders, she bent down and looked at Henry, a fire had sprung up behind her eyes.
"Don't you ever say that Henry," She practically growled, Henry looked shocked for a moment, "All Regina has ever done is be there for you for your whole life." Henry scowled, opening his mouth to protest before Emma continued anyway, "She's fed you, she'd cleaned you; she'd clothed you. She taught you how to walk and talk, she was there every time you were sick or angry or upset. She's endured this Evil Queen crap for a hell of a lot longer than I would have, she's never hurt you and she never would, and if anyone ever did she'd go after them with all she had because that's what moms do," Emma dropped her hands from Henry's shoulders, "Because she loves you kid."
"She doesn't!" Henry shouted at Emma, "She pretends to love me, that's all." He gets quieter before he delivers a final blow, "I guess you're pretending too." Emma felt like she'd been punched in the gut.
"We both love you kid, I love you." Emma tried to reach out for him again but Henry jerked away for her touch like it burned.
"Then don't leave." He was back to begging, and Emma couldn't say a word. She just looked sadly down at her son and shook her head, her mouth open to let out words that just wouldn't come. "Fine," Henry shouted, running out of her room, it only took Emma a moment to take off after him.
"Henry," She called, she heard the door slam when she was halfway down the stairwell. That kid was fast, and by the time she got out onto the street, Henry was gone and Mary Margaret was walking towards her.
"I just saw Henry, what happened?" Mary Margaret said, taking in Emma's crestfallen appearance.
"He's angry because I'm leaving," Emma said when her words came back, Mary Margaret looked shocked, she looked pointedly at Emma, expecting her to elaborate, but all Emma did was turn and head back inside.
"Leaving!" Mary Margaret prompted Emma to continue when they got back into the apartment. "What did Regina do, did she threaten you?" Emma slammed her hand down on the kitchen counter, making Mary Margaret jump. Apparently everything bad that ever happened in Storybrooke was all Regina's fault, and Emma was sick of it.
"I'm leaving," Emma hissed, "On my own accord, I am choosing to leave. How the fuck is that Regina's fault?" It was Emma that hadn't let Regina just break up with her, Emma had made a bad situation worse by being selfish.
"I…" Mary Margaret started, but Emma put up a hand to stop her.
"Don't." Emma shook her head, grabbing the bottle of Jack Daniels she'd bought with the suitcase and rummaging through the cupboards for a glass.
"Fine," Mary Margaret watched Emma pour a healthy amount of whiskey into a tumbler glass and gulp it down, instantly pouring herself another. "I'm going to go and find Henry seeing as you're just going to sit here and get drunk."
"I'm the last person he wants to talk to right now," Emma said, closing her eyes as Mary Margaret slammed to front door in much the same fashion as Henry had. Henry was fine, he'd go home or to his castle, and someone would find him because this wasn't that big a town, and all she'd do is make it worse. Pouring herself her third drink, Emma gulped it down, her face contorting slightly at the taste, and abandoned the glass in the sink, choosing to take the more direct approach, she raised the neck of the bottle to her lips, tipped her head back and swallowed.