A/N: I don't own it, but I like to play with it. No infringement intended.

For this chapter, especially near the end, listen to Florence + The Machine's Remain Nameless and The Drumming Song.

Waves to my new readers. Hi! Big hugs to all of you. And hugs to Maxipoo1024, beta queen and all round cool as fuck chick.

I'm on Twitter JaunarysFiction

Also, important ramble at the bottom, see ya there.

Chapter 10

~IV~

IPOV

I stepped out of the bathroom into the busy hall to find Edward waiting for me.

"Really?" He looked pointedly at the bathroom door and then back to me.

"I told you everything functions…it just never had a reason to before now." Over the last week I'd been spending more and more time with the Cullens, and as a result the very human body I inhabited began to behave as such. Lucky for me Rose had quickly interpreted my jittery little hop for what she deemed a "pee dance" and showed me to the nearest bathroom. The sensation was…interesting and it kind of amazed me. The human body was so complex, and it seemed to pretty much operate on its own. I didn't need to think about breathing to do it. When it was exhausted, it cued me. When it was hungry, my stomach would growl at me like some old, starved pooch. Amazing.

"Come with me?" Edward asked, slipping his hand into mine.

"Meet you there. I need to check on Dara."

"Of course," he whispered as he brought my knuckles to his cool mouth. He kissed them sweetly and released my hand.

I walked through the blue painted metal doors that lead out to the student parking lot and into a warm, muggy, overcast day. The heat of the day collided with the rain and created thick, moist air that clung to my skin. I said my goodbyes and watched the Cullens disperse. I walked to the side of the school and scanned the area, ensuring no human eyes were watching me as I began to push my way into The Other.

My transitions were moving slower than normal and took more effort than they had in the past. I'd yet to make the decision to Fall, but the time spent in the next plane was obviously having a huge effect on my body—and my divine gifts. It was becoming a rare thing for me to feel Edward's emotions, which was concerning to me as a Guard.

A spilt second before I staggered into The Other, I caught a flicker of movement to my left. I was certain no one was around, and once I oriented myself, I surveyed the environment. Nothing. I shook off the paranoia and let my wings bring me to Dara.

As it was expected, her mother hadn't survived her injuries and succumbed two days after the attack. Subsequently, her father, and only other living family member was arrested, leaving Dara alone. She'd been placed in an interim facility in Phoenix while awaiting a foster placement.

Dara sat in a light pink room on a single, metal framed bed, staring down at the grey and pink speckled linoleum flooring. Her feet swung back and forth at a slow pace, and her tiny hands gripped the side of the mattress.

I sat down next to her and wrapped my wing around her. Her death grip on the mattress loosened infinitesimally. We sat quietly for a little while, and I felt her relax just a little bit more.

A large, middle aged woman appeared in the doorway. She leaned against it causally and pushed her thick, dark framed glasses up her nose. Her hair was a washed out blonde, curly and unruly, and her face was maybe a little too tanned.

"Are you ready to go, Dara?" she asked in a gentle voice.

Dara's tension returned and her back stiffened. She shook her head, dark hair falling around her face. I flexed my wing and held her tighter.

"The Bevan's are a wonderful family, Dara." She stepped into the room and crouched down in front of the little girl. Her hand rested on Dara's knee in a gesture of comfort. "They have a little girl about your age…and a pool."

That's it, play up the perks, I thought.

"Do you like animals?" the woman asked.

"Yeah," she answered, tipping her head up to meet the eyes of the woman in front of her.

"Well then you're in luck! They have a dog, a cat, and two guinea pigs," the tanned woman said in an excited voice, smiling at Dara.

"Yeah?"

"Yup, and they can't wait to meet you." The woman stood up and offered her hand to Dara.

I leaned in close. "It's okay, baby. I'll be here, watching," I assured her in a whisper.

Slowly, Dara reached up and took the friendly hand. Something in my heart settled and knew she'd be safe now, happy.

~IV~

"Careful, vampire, I hear you're highly flammable," I said softly, standing behind Jasper as he chucked a few more pieces of kindling on the already sizable fire.

Jasper jumped and spun in a blink. "Shouldn't sneak up on people, Isabella. Might get hurt," he drawled, slow and deadly sounding. He had me pinned to a tree and a smug smile lifted his lips.

"That's right, Jazz, you might." I smiled widely, pulled him through The Other, and quickly deposited him about three miles from the group before returning alone.

"Very funny, angel girl," I heard him shout somewhere in the darkening forest, and within seconds he was back by his wife's side and all signs of smugness had been wiped clean off his handsome face.

Edward pulled me towards him and guided me to the fallen tree that served as our seat. "How's Dara?"

"Good. Safe. She's scared as all get out, but I think she'll be just fine."

"Children are resilient little things, aren't they?" Jasper said, sitting across the fire from me. Truth of the matter was that I was less concerned about the move and the new family than I was about the residual effects of having been witness to her mother's abuse. That would likely leave a mark that time might never erase.

"So it's the weekend," Emmett announced. "And most teenagers try their hand at general delinquency on the weekends around here."

I pitched my brow in question. I'd seen my share of teenaged stupidity over the years, some that ended poorly for my wards, but what exactly was Emmett getting at?

"I propose an evening of drinking. A first for you, wings," he said as his lips pulled into a wide smile and the dimples on either side of his face deepened.

"You want to get a divine being loaded?" I looked around at the vampires that had quickly become my friends, Alice especially. She seemed more like a sibling to me. She insisted on picking out clothes, and painting my nails, and would sit and listen to me tell stories about the charges I'd protected over the years. She never judged and she never asked why when it came to Edward. It was nice to have that.

Emmett on the other hand was like the goofy cousin you caused shit with anytime you were together. He introduced me to the art of "Punking" as he called it. He liked to mess with his family, and sometimes the humans around him, so long as no one was being hurt. I enjoyed the hell out him.

"Yes!" He clapped his hands, looking—again—like an over excited Pomeranian and reached down into a knapsack. He pulled out a few bottles and lined them up on the stump next to him.

"And you support this?" I asked Edward, looking from him to the liquor.

"Yep. Why not? Is there some grave sin preventing you?" he challenged.

"No, I…I've just seen a lot of people lose their lives to that shit," I explained, pointing at the display of bottles next to Emmett.

"Wings, you're surrounded by five vampires. I think you're safe," Rose said, giving me a look. She was right. The chances of anything happening to me were slim to absolutely nada. "Besides, Boy Wonder over there won't let anything happen to his precious little Earth Angel." There was a little bit of snark tacked on to that last bit, but I couldn't fault her for it. That was just Rose.

"We'll even drink with you," Alice pulled out smaller bottles filled with dark liquid. Animal blood I assumed. "It's spiked with vodka. Straight alcohol doesn't really stick to our system."

"So you can get drunk?" I asked, looking around at the pale faces.

"Not really," Edward began. "The effect is short lived. Our venom burns through the alcohol quickly. The result is a mild buzz and no pesky hangover to deal with."

"So what's you poison, wings?" Emmett tipped his head towards the line up of bottles and wagged his brows.

"Can I make a suggestion?" Alice piped up.

I shrugged. I had no idea what that stuff tasted like, so choosing was truly going to be a random kind of thing, like closing my eyes and pointing.

"Dough head here forgot to include mixers. Things you add to the booze to cut the taste. Unless you're up for doing shots, which I've seen that jackass Newton do at a few parties, I wouldn't go with any of the hard stuff. Try this." Alice handed me a bottle of white wine. "No chaser or mix needed. Just open and enjoy."

Well that sounded about my speed, so I nodded my head and let Emmett do the honors of opening the bottle for me.

"No glasses?" Rose asked, throwing her hands up and shooting her husband an incredulous look. "Really?"

He shrugged and handed me the open bottle. I sniffed it cautiously. It was sweet smelling, but not sweet like candy or the amazing chocolate that Alice had given me. Feeling all eyes on me, I brought the bottle to my lips and spared a quick sideways glace at Edward before I tipped it back. I rolled the liquid around on my tongue and slowly swallowed. As it slipped down my throat, my tongue began to tingle and I smiled.

"Not bad. It's really sweet," I said and took a long pull of the wine.

"And a wino is born," Emmett said, pulling his own bottle out. "So teenaged idiocy dictates that games should be played while consuming alcohol. You up for a game of Would You Rather, Isabella?"

"Would I rather what?"

Edward chuckled. "The game is called Would You Rather. You're given two options and you chose one."

"Like would you rather be a professional tennis player or hockey player?" Jasper explained, but the look on his face told me he was leaving something out. I narrowed my eyes at him and he simply smiled.

"Oh, well then bring on the games, I guess. As long as you all fully understand that I do not, under any circumstances, intend on dancing on any surface topless or doing shots off of Rose's chest. Got me? No crazy shenanigans. Be gentle with the angelic being." I nodded once and took another sip. I'd decided that wine was good.

"Not gonna lie, I was looking forward to the body shots," Emmett grumbled, looking so disappointed. Rose smacked his arm and he winced.

"Beauty before biceps," Rose said, flinging her hair over her shoulder. "I'll go first. Would you rather be deaf or blind?"

"Deaf," Edward blurted out. Right away I understood. Edward could hear the thoughts of everyone around him and tuning them out wasn't always an option for him. I was lucky enough that I only heard the voice of my wards, and only when I tuned in. I couldn't imagine what it would be like to have all that information thrown at me all hours of the day.

"Blind," Alice said. "I've been alone in the dark before, and I survived." I truly loved her outlook on her horrid past. Yes, she was bitter about it, but she saw what others didn't, that she was strong enough to live through it and come out the other end shining.

They all turned and looked to me, waiting for my answer. "Deaf, I think. There's too much beauty to miss out."

"Deaf," Jasper said, nodding. He looked to his wife, and I needed no explanations as to why.

"What about you, big guy?" I looked across the fire to Emmett.

"I don't know. I mean, I know neither isn't a choice, but fuck! I think I'm going to go with deaf. Can't play video games with no eyesight."

Rose shook her head and rolled her golden eyes. "Blind," she answered without hesitation. "I've seen enough of the world." She didn't elaborate, but I had a feeling that her answer was rooted much deeper than she let on.

I took a drink and contemplated Rose's answer.

"Would you rather: have my power or Edward's?" Alice asked the group.

"I'd go with yours, Alice. I can already hear my charges, so…" I tipped the bottle to my lips again.

"Slow down, killer," Edward said, putting his hand on my thigh.

Apparently, I was drinking a little too fast. I looked down at the bottle and realized I consumed a fair amount already, so I handed it over to Edward. "Tricky, tricky. It tastes so good I didn't realize…the devil's juice." I grinned and patted his hand which was still firmly planted on my thigh.

"That's how it gets you," he said, placing the bottle on the ground between us. He winked and broke into a soft smile.

"I'd go with Alice's too. Jasper's if it were an option," Edward answered, still smiling at me.

Emmett hummed and slowly sipped on his booze laced blood. "I think I'm going to go with Alice on this one."

Jasper was quick to answer next. "Edward's. I can feel all these damned emotions all the time, but I don't know what motivates them. Hearing their thoughts would paint a bigger picture, you know?"

I nodded in understanding.

Rose and Alice made their choices and then Jasper spoke up. "Would you rather be human and only have the love of your life for short time or be immortal and be there to witness their decline and suffer their dying breathe?"

I knew what he was playing at. I'd yet to make any choices because it scared me, and he knew that. He was forcing me to think about the decisions I had ahead of me.

Rose went first. "Human. I'd rather experience love for a short while and not have to live through the heartache of losing them."

It seemed everyone had a rather definite answer. But I was torn. I'd only truly had Edward in my life for a little while now, a couple of months, and getting to know him had made me so happy that I understood Rose's reasoning. But I didn't want short and sweet. I wanted life times, but that wasn't an option. Know him and love him, or live forever without him. Pain suddenly ripped through my chest.

"Oh God," I sobbed.

"What's the matter?" Edward knelt in front of me, concern washed away the amusement.

"Human," I cried. "Human."

I looked to Jasper, and his features were soft and sympathetic.

"I've been in love with you for years. I've been with you for years…and I'm stupid!" I sobbed, grabbing Edward's shirt and pulling him close.

"Stupid?" he questioned, his voice was gentle as a whisper.

"I'm scared as hell. I'm scared to turn my back on everything I've ever known. I'm scared to lose so much of myself. I'm scared to leave Dara behind. And I'm not ready to do that yet. I'm not ready to make that trade, my wings and my immortality for a short human life with you," I ranted, staring into his perfect tawny eyes.

"And I'm fucking stupid for thinking the choice was all mine to make!" I now understood why I was losing my gifts, why they were faltering here. It had nothing to do with the amount of time I spent on this plane. It was because so many years ago I'd already made that choice. I'd fallen in love with him. My fate was sealed the moment I whispered into a dying woman's ear. I sighed, my chest heaving, and explained that the day I showed myself to Edward was the day I set in motion my Falling—my release from divinity.

"So just let it happen." Jasper was suddenly standing next to me, his hand on my shoulder in a show of support.

He was right. Stupid, logical vampire. I could say it out loud right here and end my life as a Guard, or I could take the time the process seemed to be allowing me to get my ducks in a row. Slipping back into The Other and ceasing to be a part of Edward's life was no longer an option. My heart knew that, my head just needed time to catch up.

"Dara—" I began.

"Will have everything she needs. A mysterious trust fund, perhaps," Rose said with a wink.

"Enough of the heavy. Let's get back to the drinking," Alice suggested, rubbing my back. She sat to my right, holding out that tasty wine, swishing the bottle back and forth.

I wiped the tears away from my face and snagged the bottle from her hand.

Edward went back to sitting oh so close to me. "A lot of first's today, Isabella." He smiled and caressed my still damp cheek.

"First bathroom trip, first drink, first mental break down…" I listed them, taking a small sip between each.

"First admission of love," Edward murmured in my ear. His breath was as warm as the blood he'd been drinking and smelled of cooper and something sweet.

"You're going to rub that in, aren't' you?"

"I planned on it," he admitted with a smug as hell grin.

We sat by the fire drinking and talking. I listed to the Cullens tell stories about their early days as vampires and the adjustments they'd all made. Rose seemed the most bitter, but it was clear she'd rather this life with Emmett or no life at all. They talked about the coven's leaders, Carlisle and Esme, and the way they cared for each other. It was easy to hear the admiration in their voices.

Emmett and Rose were the first to drop away from the circle. They said their goodbyes and took off into the night in search of bears and deer.

I asked Jasper more about his empathic abilities and how they've grown over the years. It was interesting to note that as humans they all had talents that, I suspected, had they gone on living a normal human life may have amplified, though not to the extend they now had. Being brought into the supernatural fold seemed to have sped up that process. Soon enough, Edward and I were left alone and the world was a little wobbly, and for reasons I was sure boiled down to alcoholic intake, I couldn't stop smiling. I felt light, and happy, and…something else.

"So you're in love with me," Edward teased, poking the dying flames with a long stick and nudging me with his shoulder.

I rolled my eyes. "Yes. Deal with it, vampire." I huffed and slid down onto the cool forest floor.

"Isabella, I know this scares you, but would you trust me to take care of you? You've watched over me for more than a hundred years. I think it's time you took a break." His hand reached down and curled a piece of hair behind my ear. My body shivered.

"I trust you," I said in a low voice.

He slipped off the log and joined me on the ground. His hand ran up my leg and squeezed my knee. His fingers tickled their way up my thigh and my stomach tightened.

"Oh, don't start that again," I whined, closing my eyes and letting his fingers run where they would.

"I didn't start anything. You're the one that stripped." And had Emmett not interrupted I was fairly certain more than some innocent petting would have gone on. "You smelled so good…" A growl ripped through him, and I turned my face to his. "And your skin was so soft. It's all I've thought about."

He showed me what he thought of. His lips at my throat, licking and kissing at first, and then biting. Blood spilled down the sides of my neck in thin red lines.

"You really want a taste, don't you?" I asked. Heat flashed all over my body and the thought of his teeth sinking into my skin made my heart beat a little faster. I wasn't afraid. I wanted it. I wanted to feel him anyway I could.

Edward's eyes were pinched shut, and his hands had balled into fists. I felt shame pushing off of him in waves. "Yes," he hissed through clenched teeth.

I moved to straddle him, and a look of shock passed over his face. "Then taste."

His hands clutched my hips, and he pulled me up his legs, bringing me closer. Now, I'd been around humans for four hundred and thirty years, so human sexuality was no mystery, but seeing and feeling were two very different experiences. Warmth bloomed in my tummy, and that delicious tingle that seemed to happen whenever I was close to Edward returned. He pushed my hair over my shoulder and his eyes—now black as pitch—roamed my face for any sign of reluctance or fear. He saw none. His face inched closer to mine, and I couldn't breathe. Excitement rendered my lungs useless. When his cool lips touched mine, I gasped breathing in the air between us. His hands found their way to my hair, and the sensation of his fingers on my scalp gently tugging at the strands made me moan in pleasure. I felt his cool venom coated tongue slide along my lips, and on reflex, I opened my mouth. He tasted sweet and sharp, and it burned cold in my mouth. By no means was it painful, and I wanted more. My head swam as he kissed my jaw, and my stomach quivered when his lips caressed the soft skin of my neck. His tongue darted out to taste me, and when Edward pulled my ear lobe into his mouth and gently sucked, my hips flew forward grinding against him. My hands gripped his arms. "Oh God, that felt good," I admitted in a shaky voice.

A chuckle shook his body, and he brought his eyes to mine. "You okay, angel?"

"Yes," I hissed, rocking my body against him. The tingling had quickly given way to a deep needy throb that felt both wonderful and infuriating all at once.

"Good…on the same page," he mumbled as his lips reached mine. He kissed me again but this kiss was…more. It was deeper, more intense. Edward's hands, still bracing my hips, began to guide my movements. He grunted when I pushed down needing more pressure.

"God," I panted. I could feel my heart hammering in my chest.

"Has nothing to do with this." He kissed my neck, and his hand clasped the back of my neck, steadying me. "If I hurt you…"

My divinity might be fading, but I still had my wings. I was still an angel, and though my body was becoming more human every day, I knew I still had their protection. "Do it," I begged, ready to feel his teeth on my flesh.

I closed my eyes and tilted my head back, giving him permission. My body continued to rock against him, and I could feel a tight coil winding in the pit of my stomach. I wanted that coil to unravel so badly, and I moved faster on instinct. Cold teeth suddenly pierced my skin, and I cried out.

Edward's hands went back to gripping my hips, moving me with purpose. His blood warmed breath washed across my neck and shoulder. "You taste…Isabella," he groaned. His tongue swept across the open wound and he shuddered. He leaned forward, angling our bodies just the slightest, and he pushed against me. That coil was so tight it burned, and I needed it to stop. The throbbing, the burn, it was all too much, and I cried in frustration as I pulled his face back to mine.

His kiss tasted of blood, my blood.

"You okay?" he asked between kisses.

"Yes…please," I begged, somehow knowing he could put an end to the incessant throbbing between my legs.

One hand slipped between us, and I felt him touch me. Though his hand never made contact with my skin, the pressure his fingers applied made my head spin, and I let out a breathy laugh. His mouth found its way back to my neck, and I felt him drawing from the wound again, sucking and savouring my blood. It was all too much, and suddenly the coil deep inside my belly snapped and my back bowed. Unable to control my body, I shook and moaned in his arms.

Edward growled, thrusting up into my body. He held me there, moving my hips in heavy circles over his very hard penis. Without warning he stilled, letting out a feral sound from somewhere deep in his throat, and then he jerked his hips once more. A cool, dampness pooled between us.

"I've never…that felt fucking amazing, Isabella." He kissed my mouth, his lips swollen and stained by my blood.

I nodded, sharing his sentiment.

We were still for a few moments just staring at one another, taking it all in.

"Stay with me," Edward whispered. "Come home and stay with me."

I wanted nothing more. I nodded and buried my face in his shoulder, feeling like I needed that physical support.

A choking sound ripped from his throat and Edward sat stiff as a board. I looked to his face and panic had replaced the bliss that had been there only seconds before. "Something's wrong," he said, his eyes wild.

I looked for signs of injury on his body, but there was nothing. His hands flew to his head, he screamed and then fell silent. I stroked his face, hoping to sooth him. I closed my eyes and tried to tap into him, hear his mind, but all that I heard was my own panic. My heart raced and stuttered painfully as fear gripped it tight.

"Edward…" I whispered.

END NOTES: Yeah, I'm a cliffie can all wag your fingers at me and shout if you feel you need to. So what'd ya think of the supernatural dry humping? Writing from the prospective of a virgin angel was…interesting.

Important Ramble:

I've got a fic to rec, but before I do that I have something I want to say about this author and her fic. It takes a lot of balls to write something, even bigger balls to post it for the world to see. Very recently this amazing woman was stocked when her FFN account was temporarily suspended because a reader reported her story for breach of TOS. Now, if you don't like sex or violence, or maybe poly or slash or whatever the fuck rubs you the wrong way, you don't read it. Move on and find something fluffy and comforting to read if that's what you're looking for, but reporting an author that's spent hours creating a world and allowing us the privilege of being a part of, that's sad and low. This story will breach TOS as well, just so you know. Now, on with the rec.

Gods and Monsters (aka Written in Blood) by darkNnerdy- If you read Dark Paradise, then you should already be reading this. Gods and Monsters is the sequel to the twisted tale of Edward and his Isabella that picks up where Dark Paradise left off, everything covered in blood and inches from death. Go read them both now and give Cunty (yes that's her nickname) a wave for me. She's on FFN and AO3. Give her love and let her know we're not all assholes.

~MissJanuary