A/N: I don't own skins…
Thank you for still reading this fic. I've been a bit busy nowadays but I am still trying to write the next chap. Hope this won't disappoint you. You guys are awesome; you know… you encouraged me a lot.
Sorry for the obvious errors and all. For the tenses, especially tenses. Lol. I hope you can still picture it out. I am happy that I managed to finish this after one week of being a bummer. I am really sleepy folks. So goodnight for now. c:
So… here it is.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Naomi's POV
After I went outside of the bar, I tossed my phone out and gave Effy a call. I just want her to safely drop Emily home and go after me in our usual place. I need a drink, like fucking hard drink. Seeing my wife snogging another person's face made me… I don't know. I cannot think straight anymore. There's this feeling inside me that keeps on pricking my cold heart and I don't know why, I don't know what to call that feeling. All I know is, I wanted to pull that girl away from my wife's face the moment I saw them kissing like they don't fucking care. I wanted to emphasize that Emily is my wife, my wife.
I shook my head to clear my mind. I shouldn't feel like this. "Jesus Christ!" I accelerated the engine. I need an alcohol. Like fucking now.
After spotting a vacant parking lot, I hurriedly hopped out and made my way inside the bar. I directed my way straight to the counter and ordered a glass of Gran Centenario Leyenda. I occupied the seat in front of the counter and started gulping my glass. I winced at the warm feeling it gave me but its better actually than enduring the strange feeling I can feel in my heart. What is she doing to me? Why can she affect me so fucking much? What is this I am feeling? I thought that if I remove Sophia from my life, everything will fall to their proper places like we can go and get along with each other without any arguments in a day or maybe we can sometimes hang out and try dating like proper couples do. I don't know. If you'll ask me, all I can answer is I don't know.
I ordered another glass. I'm still here waiting for my best friend. "Fucking shit." I climbed my hand up to my nose and started pinching it to calm myself. My attention was distracted back to reality when the bar man handed down the alcohol in front of me. I took a gulp and lit a fag. Alcohol and smoke can make me a bit saner now.
"You should talk to her." I almost jumped out from where I am hearing Effy's voice behind me. Seriously, this girl can kill the shit out of me, every time. "She deserves an explanation from you Naomi."
"Fuck you, Ef! Can you please stop doing that?" I grasped my chest trying to calm my vital organ. "What will I say? Hey Emily, I went to NY to fuck a girl. I enjoyed it." I shook my head again. I grabbed my fag and took a long drag before I let out the smoke. "Witnessing them making out was the most interesting thing I've ever seen and nothing happened between us, Sophia, I mean." I am being honest.
"And do you think when you left her like that without any reasons were acceptable? She's not cheating on you, Naoms." And whose side is she on now? Since when did they become best of friends? "You owe her, she owe you. Better talk."
"How sure are you that she was not cheating on me? She wasn't kissing that slut earlier, yes? It was just my imagination. Yeah." I answered her sarcastically. I snorted before I grabbed my glass and drank it all. Emily is a major headache. "Did you bring her home?
"I've been with her most of her vacant time, Naomi." She motioned her hand to the bar man to have a vodka. "Yes your highness, she's safe now, keeps on crying because you will not hear her out."
"What is she? A fucking baby onion?" after consuming my previous drink, I ordered a mild one now. I'm going to drive my way home so I need to have my clear mind intact. She's crying. I don't know why I'm bothered. It's not like we didn't fight before but this one… its different now. Other people are on the scene with us. Sophia, the crazy bitch which I thought I was in love with and that skank, I don't know what her role is.
Effy placed her famous habitual smirk on her face. She knows me well like a fucking 20x20 transparent bag. She guzzled from her vodka and cleared her throat. She gave me a look which you can say that she knows something. "You care for her."
"What?" I leaned my ear closer to catch the words she said because I think I heard it wrong. "What the fuck did you say?"
"Come on Naoms. She's becoming big in your life. Just admit it and talk it down with her."
"I don't know what are you talking about." I chuckled. She can amuse me you know. "I am playing my role as her wife. Nothing more."
"Are you sure?" she asked. "Look at me and say that you are sure."
I looked at her. I wanted to say it, but I cannot do it. "I am sure." But I took my gaze away from her before I uttered those words completely out of my stupid mouth which means, I'm a complete liar.
"You should listen to her Naoms. You never saw her when you were gone." I don't know what to think. I don't want to assume that she was missing me, she's not like that. She doesn't care. But that was before. Now, I don't know. I don't want to make myself believe that we are developing something, something big and unexpected. "She kept on asking me about you if when are you going to come back or what happened to you. Naomi, she cares about you."
"Stop it. That's not true." I laughed. What? I am sure, those were acts only. She's good in acting. I've seen it before. There's no way she can make it purely untainted. "Her? Fucking hell no way."
"Your actions betrayed your words." I hate those smirk as well as her all fucking Seeing Eye.
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Emily's POV
Fuck. I've been crying like a river here since Effy dropped me home 2 hours ago. This place, this outdoor space supposed to be my comforting friend because it can make me relax, happy and calm. Look at me now, I'm acting really pathetic and this place made it lonelier. This fucking place, this is our place. We stayed here for hours doing nothing. This place, this fucking spot in this house is now the worst place because our limited memories are rushing back to me. I should wipe these tears away. Why should I cry anyway? Fucking hell.
I left my spot just to grab a beer inside the fridge and went hastening back slamming my body against the couch where I was earlier. I harshly opened the can and took a big gulp like I really need it to ease my thirst. After gulping, I slammed it down at the wooden table beside me. "She fucking disappeared and she has all the nerves to ignore me. Fuck." I grabbed it again and drank all the remaining beer straight. I'm really upset now. The way she treated me and ignored me earlier at the bar was really devastating. Okay, I kissed Ashley but that was nothing. I was a bit drunk and I know for a fact that Ashley won't settle for a 'no' answer. Fucking Effy didn't tell me she's coming back after 10 days of doing I don't know in NY. Having a thought of her doing something with someone made me sick. I cannot imagine her snogging someone's face or let alone, fucking someone else. "Fucking couple things. Fucking reasoning. Oh! Fuck sake!" My hand seized the empty can tighter that it almost crumpled then I threw it away.
"Why aren't you sleeping?" I closed my eyes upon hearing her estrange voice dancing into my ears and her faded Armani scent that keeps on enticing my small button nose whenever she's around. Now I am sure, I've missed her. "Em."
She called my nick out when she heard nothing from me. I am fuming now. "Now you are talking to me?"
She's pinching the bridge of her nose and rested her free hand on her hips. "I'm tired Emily. I just want to rest, we can talk tomorrow."
"Why not now?" this is too much for me. This was becoming too much to me from the day I met her. We made it worst when we got married. "You left me here for fucking 10 days." My voice was getting raspy. This anger inside me makes me want to cry, makes me want to shout and yell at her.
"Don't start." Even if I am not looking at her, I know she's giving me a heated glare. "Don't fucking start."
"Why not?" I angrily asked. "If you're tired, I'm tired as well."
"I called you so many times Emily and texted you almost every day." She rested both of her hands in her hips. This will not end so well. "And now you're acting as if I didn't bother checking up on you."
"Just because you kept on texting and calling me, you're expecting me now to settle for that lame excuse? Naomi I needed an explanation!" I cannot hold anymore. My tears wanted to be freed so I let them streak down from my eyes. She really is a lawyer; she will always find a way to be in control. "Was that a big thing for you to just let me know why?" I wiped my tears away whilst hearing her cursing and swearing unending vulgar words upon seeing me weeping in front of her.
"Why the fuck all of a sudden you became into this marriage life thing huh? Why the fuck you wanted an explanation from me when I clearly said that I needed to be back there because of business matter." I gritted my teeth. She's fucking lying. "What?! I am waiting."
Another bunch of tears came out from my eyes. How could she do this? I don't know what to say to her. She's lying. She's fucking lying! But I'm still keeping my mouth shut. I don't want to regret the things that I might say. I stood up from the couch to drop all of this and settle for being just a paper wife only. I was meant to be like that anyway, right? I shouldn't ask or expect from her more than on what she can only give to me. I wiped away my tears for the umpteenth time. This fucking mess that Katie put me through, this is unbearable. The pain is becoming enormously too much that I cannot handle it anymore.
"You're acting as if you are my real wife, Emily." She snorted. I was offended. "Like what your mistress said, you are just a paper wife and I am just a paper wife as well to you. We don't mean anything to each other. You don't mean anything to me. So don't expect that I will treat you like my real wife because it will never happen, Emily. Never. We were meant to be together… in paper." I closed my eyes and felt the strong force of tears streaming down from my tired eyes. I don't have any idea why I am still here hearing all those damaging words making myself hard to grab some air to breathe. I suddenly feel so helpless, so hopeless, and so fucking pathetic that I let my illusion took hold of everything. I smiled brokenly. This pains me a lot.
"How many times do I need to tell you that I went back to NY for some fucking business? Can you please say something?" She was really furious and so was I. I am so angry that I cannot let my mouth speaks for me. "Jesus Christ! I'm fucking tired Emily."
"You're lying." That's the only word I can utter now.
"What?" she asked with all the venom from her mouth. "Me? Lying?" She snorted. " I can't fucking believe you, Fitch."
"Does the mark on your collar bone appeared as a reward for a good business?!" I don't know where I got the courage to fight back to her. I saw her eyes went big and she tried hiding the mark I saw. She didn't expect this from me. She cannot deny it. There's a love mark on her neck and collar bone. How can she explain that to me now? "And you were looking at me earlier as if I was a dirty slut snogging Ashley's face in front of everyone whilst you, you already committed it." she cheated on me.
She blinked her eyes many times and took her gaze away from me. Guilty.
"It's not like what you think, Em. I-" I sarcastically laugh.
"You didn't hear me out Naomi. You assumed that I want to fuck Ashley earlier because you caught us sharing a meaningless kiss. Whilst you…" I cannot say it. It's unbearable. She fucked someone in NY. It breaks my heart too fucking much. "I'm tired as well, Naomi. I don't know why we keep on doing this fucking marriage thing at the first place when it clearly states that you wanted to be with someone else." I need to get out of here. I cannot stand staying with her. It's breaking my heart.
"Em-" her approached suddenly toned down. She became gentle and careful unlike earlier. She shouted at me and slapped the words on my face that I am nothing to her, that I mean nothing to her and will never mean something to her. fuckingtastic, isn't it?
"I don't know if how many times I've waited for you to come back or at least to let me understand why you suddenly decided to go back in NY. But don't worry; now I know why. It was undeniably important." I said sarcastically. "At least now I know I mean nothing to you."
"So it's my fault now?" her temper is boiling again. "I am not used on explaining something to someone. I am not used to it. I didn't tell you to wait for me either."
"I am your fucking wife Naomi! We supposed to share everything to each other." I can feel that I am running out of voice because of too much crying. "Maybe, I shouldn't wait for you again." Fucking insensitive cow.
"Yeah, that's right." She crossed her arm against her chest. "Don't wait because you're waiting for nothing." I can feel my heart ripping itself on its own.
"Until now, I cannot figure out the reason why I fell in love with you." I looked at her sternly. "I think, that was the most fucking stupid thing I've ever done in my entire life." I can see her jaw hitting the ground because of what I am saying to her now. "But you're right. I will never wait for you again. From now on, you mean nothing to me too, Naomi." After that, I stormed my heels inside the house to grab my purse and hurriedly went out. I tossed my phone out and called my sister. I have no one now. My family cannot know about this thing.
"I cannot take it anymore, Kay." I can clearly hear my crackling hoarse voice when I tried holding my tears back. "I'm leaving Naomi."
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