"Katniss, are you almost ready to go?" Peeta calls from downstairs. I can tell he's in the front hall, likely pacing, as I try to braid my hair quicker. I just am not running on schedule today at all. It didn't help that Peeta caught me up in the shower earlier.
Okay, honestly that did help.
But it also set us back for about twenty minutes from the dinner date we'd planned with some of our friends.
I could blame it all on the sex. Really, I could. But I know that somewhere the little nagging feeling inside that had been clawing at me for the past few months was just struggling to take control again. This was the first time I'd even been out to be social with our friends since the whole thing started and I was nervous.
Okay, another stretch of the truth. I was scared. I'd even tried to bail out of it earlier in the day with typical 'forgetfulness' and complaints of a headache. Peeta though, he could see through every white lie I told.
"How nervous are you for this?" He asked quietly, grasping for my hand as we walked the distance to Finnick Odair's house. The words lodged in my throat, unsure of whether to tell the whole truth or whether to mask it in an effort to just get through the night without going off my rocker again.
"Um, maybe a bit. It'll be okay though – right? They're our friends," I murmured, more to myself than to him in an effort to reassure. That's at least what I'd been telling myself earlier as I pulled on the sunset orange dress that Peeta loved. "How bad could it be?"
Peeta laughed lightly and squeezed my hand quickly.
"It'll be fine. Just let me know if you want to leave though, okay? We don't have to get in over our heads just yet."
We. Our. Peeta spoke as though this was both of us. I still couldn't get past it, not how understanding he was being or how he was adjusting. It almost seemed as though every little change didn't phase him at all. Sure, we'd had our bumps early on, but now that I was making progress and actually starting to resume my life, it was as though the bumps had never happened and nothing was different.
"I love you," I whisper to him quickly as we round the street corner and approach Finnick's house. He merely glances at me and then strides down the sidewalk as though there isn't a care in his mind.
As we stand on the step to the house I realize that the night air is doing nothing to calm my sweaty palms and the nerves that are strung tight like wires in my body. I shuffle side to side as we wait until the door is swung open and a young woman I don't recognize beckons us in.
"Please, come inside. I'm just taking Adrian out of the way for the evening. I'm Cassie, by the way – the sitter?" The girl, Cassie, rambles on as she picks up toys and tosses them into a shoulder bag she's toting. Peeta and I follow her into the house tentatively, hearing the sounds of a child's wailing echoing down the hallway.
"Is there anything I can help with?" Peeta calls out and Cassie laughs as she bounds up the stairs.
"No! Please, I'll be out of here in a minute Mr Odair should be back any –"
"You made it!" I hear Finnick boom from behind me causing me to jump slightly and drop Peeta's hand. I spin around to face him and take in his handsomely dishevelled hair, the rising colour in his cheeks and the bags of ice in his hands as he holds them up towards us. "I thought maybe you'd cancel, but it's so great to see you two!" He talks quickly, stepping forward and pulling us both into a strong hug. I try to relax despite how the bag of ice he holds in his left hand rubs against the skin of my back.
"Uh – Finn – " Peeta rumbles, pulling back and grabbing the ice from his grip while placing the bag of goods we brought on the floor. "Go help Annie with whatever's going on, we'll get things settled down here, okay?" It's only after Finnick steps back and nods do I recognize the bleary look in his eyes and how strained his features are.
"Ade's just been having a hard time lately –" he starts to explain before Peeta brushes him off.
"No worries, we'll work on things here. Don't worry about it." Before he has another moment to talk, Peeta steers me away towards the kitchen and I'm finally able to let out a calming breath after the chaos of entering the house.
"I thought they were easier when they got older?" I mutter quietly and place the ice into the freezer. Peeta laughs, pulling the plates down from the cupboards and the cutlery from the drawer as though this was his own house.
"Adrian is two, Katniss. The Terrible Two's. That's just what they do. Can you grab the wine and glasses?" I pause as he begins to set the table, leaning over and giving me a nice view of the way his slacks stretch over his butt. "Earth to Katniss," Peeta calls, laughing as I jump and meet his eyes. "Wine. Glasses. Stop ogling."
Turning away as the heat creeps up my face, I return to the hallway and pick up our bag of bread and wine before a knock comes at the door. Glancing back to the kitchen I bite my lip and step forward to pull it open. Friendly faces greet me brightly on the other side as Delly and her partner, Thom, enter the house without invitation.
"Katniss!" Delly squeals loudly in my ear as she pulls me into a bone crushing hug. "I'm so glad to see you!"
Somewhere beyond the ringing in my ears I hear Thom mutter something of the same before he disappears into the kitchen with both his own bag and the one I was sent here to get. He knows without even having to say it that I'm in for a verbal run down of the most recent gossip from the one person in town who seems to know everything.
Plastering on a smile, I listen absently as Delly exclaims loudly about the relationship news that I've been missing. I try to nod and laugh at all the right places but I quickly find myself struggling to keep up with her fast paced words and her tonal changes that give me whiplash.
"Dells, come on," Madge thankfully interrupts, stepping through the partially opened door with her partner Lilith. I smile at her ruefully and she nods, grasping Delly's shoulder and motioning us all into the kitchen where Thom and Peeta have made themselves at home at the table with the bottle of wine.
"Friends!" Finnick shouts from behind us, the sound of Adrian's cries instantly disappearing as the front door closes.
"Where's An – "
"Here! I'm here!" Annie shouts and bustles through the group until she's pulling each of us into an embrace. The flurry of activity jostles me around and sets my nerves on edge, forcing me back against the counter where my hands grip the stone until my knuckles are surely white. "Katniss," Annie whispers quietly when she finally moves to embrace me. I try not to flinch though my muscles remain firm and my posture unmoveable.
"Hey Annie," I hear Peeta beside me, feeling his hand slip over mine and pull my fingers lose.
"Peeta!" Stepping back from me Annie turns to him and grabs him up in his own tight hug. "So glad you two came, we missed you these past few weeks."
"Missed you guys too," he answers and releases her to greet the rest of her guests. "On a scale of one to ten?" He asks me lowly while his thumb brushes over the back of my hand.
"Eight?" The whisper squeaks out of me, my eyes flipping to his briefly before he moves us over to the table where Thom is still leisurely sitting with the bottle of wine already tipped over my glass.
"How've you been, Miss Katniss?" He rumbles from his spot across the table before he pushes a glass of wine towards me. My fingers grip the stem tightly and I lift it to my lips for a big gulp, desperate to steady my nerves.
"Oh, I've been," I joke and set down my wine. Thom nods in silent understanding and I take the opportunity to watch as Peeta pulls my wine away from me with a sheepish smile. "How have you two been?"
"We moved in together a few weeks ago. Finally bit the bullet and ditched my apartment. Was thinking about having you two over but – "
"Let's eat while it's still hot!" Annie interrupts from across the room, spinning around and grabbing at the oven mitts that sit next to the stove. I watch the bodies shift and move to their seats at the table, my mind half distracted by what Thom was going to say and his hesitation. "Make room! Make room!"
My chair is jerked to the side, my body being shifted next to Peeta's as he wraps an arm around my shoulder and let's Finnick place the large tray of lasagna on the table before us. I chance a glance at the people surrounding me, the happy conversation that bubbles throughout the table as old friends catch up on what they've been missing.
I take another gulp of my wine and feel Peeta's hand squeeze on my shoulder.
Why am I nervous? Why do I feel like crawling out of my own skin?
The anxiety or the blush or the alcohol or the timid embarrassment creeps up my face and I duck my head towards my lap to avoid anyone's stare.
I keep my gaze averted until my plate is returned to its place before me loaded up with salad, lasagna and Peeta's fresh bread. It looks delicious, but I'm not hungry. Not with the way my stomach turns and my nerves frazzle.
"Katniss, how's old Haymitch doing?" Lilith asks from across the table. I finally look up, my mouth full of salad, and meet her piercing gaze.
"He's doing well, still alive at least," Peeta answers quickly for me. Below the table I feel his hand on my knee.
Why can't I spit out a few words?
This dinner is not going well.
I'm not me.
What's wrong with me? I've been doing so well. Now I can't even have a conversation? I can't even look at people without this cloud coming back and hovering over me?
Fuck.
Shoving back from the table I barely register my chair scraping on the floor before I bolt from the room. In the hallway I struggle to breathe, my chest tight and the anxiety making me hyperventilate as I hear the hushed murmurs from the dinner table I'd left behind so abruptly.
The panic overtakes me as the embarrassment with myself and my behaviour rolls in like a boulder. Gripping to the handrail of the staircase I lean over and put my head between my knees and try to hold in the tears that burn at the back of my eyes.
"Kat?" The voice startles me, so unexpected as it pulls me from the haze. I thought it would be Peeta to come and take me home. "Hey, let's go upstairs and take a second." Finnick stands close to me, offering his hand but also seemingly tense and ready to catch me as though I should faint at any moment.
When I'm able to stand up straight again I realize that Finnick is going nowhere anytime soon. "Okay," I whisper in resignation and lead our way upstairs.
AN: I hope to have the other part of this up by the end of the week. I was missing you all though, so I thought I'd post something in celebration of the trailer today.