CHAPTER 11
"I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close."
-Pablo Neruda
"You got that look on your face! Again." Penelope walked beside me, almost running in her heels while I walked at a normal pace to the round table room.
"What look?" I pretended I didn't know what she was talking about. If I felt this happy and relaxed, they must notice it, too. Profiler or no profiler, the butterflies in my stomach must have been obvious. In fact, my smile's source was still waiting in my apartment, hoping I'd be back before he left the next day.
"That 'I-just-got-laid-look'" she filled me in. Oh wow, she went even further than I had thought she would.
"I have no idea what you're talking about! But do you know who else have that look on their faces? 6 women in Atlanta. You wanna talk about some crazy something you see in my eyes or save another from getting it against her will?" I snapped at her. She closed her mouth abruptly and hurried silently behind me. I felt so bad for saying that, it really crossed a line but as crazy as it might sound, my happiness was my vulnerable spot.
I briefed the team and we flew to Atlanta, returning on the same night after the UnSub confessed in a video message and was taken into custody without further offensives. Sometimes this job was just too weird.
But I was glad I could go home. As always, the team invited me to go out for a drink with them and, as always, I had declined it due to work and tiredness.
When I got home, the lights were dimmed and I saw a little glow behind my couch.
"Will?" I asked into the room, uncertain where he was.
"Over here" he sang from the kitchen. Keeping the lights off, I followed my instincts and the smell of pizza.
"How'd you know, I'd be home so soon?" I asked confused
"You texted me?!" He stared at me in confusion as well. Oh, right, I had told him we were done before we got on the plane. He gave me a welcome home kiss, took off my jacket and threw it away from him.
"Wow, what a gentleman" I teased him, following the jacket with my eyes until it landed on the floor.
"Whatever, follow me" He kicked it away and showed me around the corner of the couch. On the floor lay a red blanket, two candles, wine and the smell of pizza from the oven couldn't be missed either.
"Will, what-" I was about to ask when he interrupted me with his answer.
"Since I couldn't get you to that new Italian restaurant I read about, I thought I'd bring it here. No one loves pizza more than you do" he winked at me. That might just be true, pizza was awesome. Is awesome.
"Why did it have to be on the floor? I have a great dining table about 6 feet away from here?" He was so cheesy, I felt like the protagonist in some lame Nicholas sparks movie.
"It's more romantic that way?!" He gave me a look that said 'duh? Why didn't you think of that yourself?' and I couldn't help but roll my eyes in a playful way. "Now sit down and wait for me to get the pizza. Appetizer, main course and desert in one" he told me as I sat down on my living room floor.
"I could think of something else for desert." I alluded when he came back, leaning over the candles, careful not to burn my hair again.
"Me too" he said in his sexy voice. "I just saw some ice cream in the freezer"
I laughed out loud and took the first piece of pizza.
I thought about the corniest things I could imagine, half of which he had already performed. "The only thing missing is the banner in the sky that asks if I want to marry you" I joked.
"How 'bout I tell you I love you, first?" He said seriously. My heart missed a beat. "Because I do" he added, insecure if I'd gotten the message, which was now impossible to miss. With my eyes and mouth wide open, staring at his long lashes. He waited a moment to let me process the news, as if he'd told me I had cancer or something. He looked around in the room, waiting for my response.
I had never felt that way before, the way I felt when I was with Will. I had had the most wonderful 7 weeks anybody has ever experienced, so how could those simple words, these 8 letters I'd already told a thousand people ever suffice? Yet, why couldn't I even bring myself to say them?
My love for Will wasn't like the love for my team or ex boyfriends. It was truer, purer and more honest and as simple as it seemed, I hoped he would understand me even if I did only use the words I had already told a thousand people before him. Because I really couldn't find anything that fit better. And after all, he had just said them as well, probably for the millionth time, yet, hopefully, meaning something entirely different.
"I love you, too." I whispered, an invisible tear rolled down my cheek and we sealed whatever promise this was, with a kiss that once again lifted me off my feet even though we were sitting on the ground...