A/N: Hey! Sorry this is a bit late! I haven't had time to touch this in a while! The new job is sure keeping me busy! On the bright side though I've had my first evaluation and it was very very good :)
Anyway, now here is chp 11! It's not a very funny chapter per se, but I think you'll find it in yourselves to forgive me. Besides, chp 12 is a full on comedy chapter so it's not like we're leaving the laughs behind!
Now, thank you all for the support! Your reviews really carry my writing lately! Every comment, even the small ones, warm my heart and inspire me to continue writing!
Special thank you to Marsupial! This chapter is dedicated to you! I meant to dedicate the last chapter but I forgot! For those who are curious, Marsupial wrote a song inspired by Manifolds and it is really fantastic! I am blessed to have such readers, I swear! Thank you for sharing :) And since you like feels, this chapter is a perfect dedication :P
Now I'm going to shut up and let you read!
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Chapter 11:
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Compared to her Saturday night, the rest of Naomi's weekend had been very quiet. After her talk with Effy on the pier, she'd felt tired and had gone back home. She hadn't wanted to do much on Sunday, but she'd still ended up driving to work for a few hours. Truth was, it had felt nice to delve back into her regular life for a while. She'd felt at home in the almost empty office, sorting through some papers and mail in her cubicle and then starting her laptop and writing a few things.
At her office, they kept a bin for rejected fluff pieces in the event that they really needed to fill a spot last minute and Naomi had ended up picking a few and writing articles about them anyway. She'd found some sort of peace in doing the simple task. It had been so long since she'd written anything for work with the assignment she was currently on and she felt so in over her head with the whole ordeal that it felt nice to be doing something simpler.
It's not like they would be of any use, but before leaving, she'd still left the written articles in the editing department. It wouldn't hurt anyone to have extra pieces, would it? And, besides, if they didn't need them they could always trash them.
By Monday, Naomi felt a bit more relaxed. She'd managed to push back every feeling her talk with Effy had awoken and she felt like she was more grounded, more herself. If she was honest with herself, the blonde had to admit it was one of the main things she had been looking for when she'd gone to work on Sunday. She wasn't used to caring quite so much, she wasn't used to sharing and she'd done both on Saturday with Effy. What was even worse was that it had felt okay to do so as well. This whole assignment was starting to turn her whole self upside down and Naomi didn't know what to do about it, she wasn't sure how to make it stop. So, really, going to work on Sunday had given her back that firmer grasp on herself she desperately needed, that grasp she'd felt slipping on the pier.
Of course her newly recovered self-assurance and confidence in who she was disappeared in an instant when she was stopped on her way to English, the shirt she'd left at Panda's on Saturday thrown in her face.
"You forgot this when you fucked off and left Panda alone!" an angry Freddie said as the blonde stopped in her tracks.
"Freddie…" Naomi mumbled guiltily as she saw exactly how mad the boy was.
"How could you do that?" he asked her sounding incredulous. "How could you actually leave her completely alone in a raging party?"
"I didn't mean to… I mean… I thought she'd be alright" the blonde tried to defend.
In all honesty, she'd made the decision quickly then and something had compelled her to follow Effy. She'd reassured herself then that Panda would be alright in her own house, but now that Freddie was confronting her about it, she couldn't help the guilt from invading her. The party had seemed pretty intense when she'd left and Pandora's mum had completely lost it too.
"You thought she'd be alright?" Freddie sneered, shaking his head disapprovingly. "Her mother was stoned off her tits and her house was swarmed with strangers. How is that alright" he finished sarcastically.
"I…" Naomi started but stopped.
She really didn't know what to say, how to explain herself.
"Panda called me sobbing in the middle of the night" the boy continued. "She was terrified. When I got there, her mum was passed out on the couch, half naked! When I asked Panda where you were she said she didn't know!"
"I left with Effy…" Naomi admitted.
"What?! You left with Effy?" Freddie gasped, his eyebrows rising in shock.
Naomi frowned for half a second before realising Freddie had probably understood that to mean that she'd hooked up with the brunette.
"No, not like that!" she explained quickly. "It's just… She was upset and I… I was worried"
"Oh, she was upset, wasn't she?" the boy scoffed. "Bit rich considering it was all her fault"
He wasn't wrong, but Naomi felt the need to defend the brunette.
"I don't think she meant to upset Panda" she said.
"Yeah, well she did anyway, didn't she? That's the thing about Effy, she never means to hurt anyone, but ultimately, she does"
There was so much bitterness in his voice then that Naomi was pretty sure he wasn't just talking about the party anymore. She wasn't sure what had happened between the two teens yet, but whatever it was, Effy had without doubt hurt Freddie deeply.
"Look Freds, I'm sorry" she pleaded. "I didn't mean to leave Panda alone, but Effy looked so upset… I figured she was in her house so…"
The boy seemed to calm down then, but he was still not smiling at her.
"You could have at least called me… Tell me what was going on" he accused shaking his head again.
There Naomi was stumped. He was absolutely right. Why hadn't she thought of that?
"I… I didn't think about it" she said lamely.
"Apparently not" he said with a sad smile. "I told you to take care of her Naomi… I just… I thought you would. This is what we do, JJ, Panda and I. We take care of each other"
She nodded and pressed her lips together. She really didn't know what else to say.
"I guess if you're going to choose someone you barely know over one of us, then there's really no point in us hanging out further." He said slowly, his voice dripping with the disappointment he surely felt.
Naomi almost wanted to cry. She had made a huge mistake and now she was going to lose the first friends she'd made at Roundview for it.
"Freddie, please" she pleaded.
He shook his head and started to walk away.
"I took care of her, though" she said louder and he stopped. "I took care of Effy and she needed it and I know you care about that too. She needs someone too"
The boy looked at her for a few seconds. He was obviously conflicted, but in the end, he let a long sigh escape his lips.
"Yeah well… Good luck with that" he said softly, sounding so much older than 17 in that moment, and turned around and left.
Naomi felt deflated as he disappeared around a corner. She didn't know why she was so upset over this. This would only be the 6th week since Naomi had infiltrated Roundview, so, in the big scheme of things, she didn't even know these kids that much. And there was also the fact that they were just kids, ten years younger than she really was. So, really, why did she even care?
But it didn't matter if she should have or not, the thing was, she did care. Panda, JJ and Freddie had been the first people to befriend her when she'd arrived. Panda in particular had taken no notice of her frowns and had accepted her readily like no one else ever had in her entire life. They hadn't judged her, they hadn't been wary of her. They had just all genuinely accepted her, without question and that had meant something to the blonde. Naomi couldn't help, but feel like shit that she'd let them down in the end. She hoped Panda was okay now though.
She made her way to English, feeling a lot more crestfallen. Her mood didn't lift when she arrived in class and spotted Panda sitting in a corner with no available seats next to her. Naomi tried to sit as close to the teen as possible, but Pandora didn't once look at her.
Not even Emily's presence managed to make her feel better. She couldn't stop glancing at Panda throughout the lecture. A part of her wanted to know if she was okay, but another just wanted to be forgiven. After all, she'd tried to help someone. She hadn't run after Effy especially to hurt Pandora. When the class ended, Naomi decided that she needed to try talking to the bubbly blonde.
"Panda" she said tentatively.
"Oh, hey Naomi" the young blonde replied uncomfortably.
"Look Pands, I'm sorry about Saturday. I promise I had no idea it would turn out like that" she explained.
The teenager nodded slowly, but didn't smile.
"Yeah I know. It's okay. I would have liked you to stay on Saturday but you didn't" she explained with a small shrug. "I've got to go now. By Naomi" she said and then left the classroom.
Naomi's bottom lip wobbled a bit and she bit down hard. She hated that seeing Panda so meek and upset was breaking her heart and she felt completely responsible for it.
"Are you okay?" she heard as a hand was pressed against her shoulder blade.
Naomi jumped away from the touch and turned around, her heart beating fast.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you" Emily said with a shy smile.
"No it's okay. I forgot you were there" she explained with a smile of her own.
"Okay… so, what's going on?" the petite teacher inquired.
"Oh huh… Just… Something that happened over the weekend" Naomi replied slowly.
It's not that she didn't trust Emily enough to tell her, but she honestly didn't want to get into the details of the story. Somehow she didn't want the brunette to think of her as a shit friend.
"You don't need to tell me" Emily reassured, thinking Naomi's discomfort came from not wanting to share with a teacher. "Just… you looked upset. I wanted to make sure you were okay"
Naomi felt her heart flutter and her stomach churn happily. Her lips curved into a genuine smile and she was taken with a need to hug Emily. Of course, she refrained herself, but she was still infinitely glad for the other woman's presence.
"I'm okay" she assured. "I just feel… a bit guilty about something is all" she admitted.
Emily gave her such a dashing smile then that Naomi about forgot why she'd been upset to begin with.
"We all do certain things sometimes that we regret" the brunette told her. "But that doesn't make you a bad person, though. The fact that you feel guilty about it means the opposite, actually"
And just like that Emily had managed to read Naomi. She'd addressed exactly what the blonde hadn't wanted to admit was upsetting her and had managed to make her feel better, a feat the journalist wouldn't have thought possible in that instant. Emily Fitch really needed to stop being so lovely because Naomi could barely take it.
The blonde was feeling a bit too much at the moment, so she refrained herself from replying and nodded. Emily made her way back to her desk as the blonde gathered her stuff and started to leave the classroom. Just as Naomi had reached the door Emily spoke again.
"I'm quite proud of you by the way" she said casually.
The blonde turned around, eyebrow raised. She didn't even have to ask before Emily elaborated.
"You shared an emotion and didn't even try to deflect" she teased and Naomi gave a short laugh.
"I guess that is an improvement" Naomi joked back.
"It is" Emily said seriously. "Think you can keep this up for our lesson on Wednesday?"
"Perhaps" the blonde smiled.
"Then I'll be looking forward to it" the teacher concluded and Naomi blushed.
So was she. So fucking much.
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At the end of the day, Naomi was feeling a bit less cheerful than she had after English, but she was still not too bad. It was hard to be completely depressed when she remembered that Emily had said she was looking forward to their lesson together, but, still, she'd seen Freddie, JJ and Panda at lunch and they'd all ignored her and that had stung.
If it had made her feel mostly sad at the beginning of the day, Naomi was now starting to feel angry about it all. She knew she hadn't been the best of friends when she'd left Panda on her own, but it wasn't as if she'd just abandoned everyone and gone home either. She had helped Effy and even if the brunette wasn't part of their tightly knit group, Naomi knew they all cared about her on some level; especially Freddie. As much as the boy could try to deny it- not that he had even tried though- Naomi knew he did care about Effy and she was certain he'd been glad she had looked out for her in the end. But even then, she was the one taking all the heat now. She had been dropped just like that and although the logical part of her brain was screaming that this was awful for her article, the other, more emotional part of her brain she usually liked to disregard was simply hurt.
"Hey" Naomi heard beside her and turned around.
It took a second before she spotted Effy, leaning on a nearby tree. Before she had time to think about it, Naomi walked over.
"Hey" she said.
Effy observed her silently for a moment and only decided to speak when the blonde quirked her eyebrow at her.
"I heard some of your fight with Freddie this morning" the brunette explained.
"Oh… right. Well, fuck him" Naomi tried to brush off.
"I'd rather not" Effy smirked and Naomi laughed.
"He's not your type then?" she inquired.
"I didn't say that" Effy replied mysteriously, flicking her hair to the side.
Naomi nodded slowly and frowned. When Effy didn't continue, she scoffed slightly. She knew the brunette was pretty much everything she had left at this school for her article, but she couldn't be bothered to work through her strange ways today. The day had just been long enough and Naomi wanted nothing more than to go home.
"Look Ef, was there something else? Cause I really want to go home. I don't blame you for Freddie being mad, if that's what you're wondering" she said tiredly.
When the brunette didn't reply anything, Naomi turned around to leave.
"Actually, I wanted to thank you" she heard Effy say and stopped in her tracks.
She turned around slowly and stared at the teenager probably looking a bit shocked. The other girl shrugged nonchalantly in response.
"What for exactly?" the blonde asked then.
"For not knowing how to be a friend, but trying anyway" the brunette answered earnestly.
Naomi smiled and nodded.
"No problem" She replied casually and Effy gave her a small smirk.
"I'll see you tomorrow then Naomi"
Naomi nodded again and with that Effy was gone. She smiled to herself as she made her way to where she'd parked her car that morning because, even if things had definitely changed between her and Pandora's group, so had they with Effy. And despite how much the blonde didn't want to admit it, she was glad. Somewhere inside her chest, she felt a small wave of warmth take her over at the thought that Effy Stonem had perhaps just become her friend. Perhaps her Monday hadn't been a total disaster?
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The next two days had been rather quiet. She'd talked to Cook a bit on Monday night because he'd wanted to know how the party had gone. Apparently he'd gotten the invite from Effy, but had decided not to show because he didn't think Naomi would have liked it. The blonde had been genuinely shocked to hear that until she'd grilled her friend a bit more and he'd admitted he had actually been busy chatting up a girl with a lush arse at Keith's pub. The journalist had found that outcome a lot more believable. She loved the boy, but she had to admit she sometimes wondered if anything interested him besides sex, or at least if there was anything he let himself be interested in beside sex.
On Tuesday, she'd seen Effy again and although they hadn't become some kind of inseparable duo, they'd smoked together outside during breaks and lunch. They hadn't said much to each other, but oddly enough, Naomi had felt comfortable with it. She kind of liked that Effy wasn't very talkative. She thought it made things easier, made hanging out with the teen easier. Actually, if Naomi was completely honest, she sometimes forgot the brunette was a teenager at all and although that thought unnerved her, she couldn't help it.
When Wednesday finally rolled in, all Naomi could think about was her upcoming class with Emily. She wasn't sure how it would go, but she was still glad for those lessons. Of course a part of her was worried that she'd be as lousy as she had been the last class. To be fair, she wasn't sure she'd learnt anything. It wasn't due to Emily's teacher skills though. No, if Naomi hadn't learned anything, it was because of her own incapacity to deal with emotions. She was fairly sure she was beyond being taught at this point in her life, but she wasn't going to refuse spending more time with the young teacher regardless.
When the day's classes finally ended, she made her way to Emily's classroom and walked in a bit more confident than she had the first time. It was funny how the brunette still intimidated her in a way, but also how comfortable Naomi always felt in her presence.
The blonde closed the door behind her and Emily lifted her head, a huge smile on her lips.
"Hi" she said simply and Naomi's heart thudded loudly.
"Hey" she replied, her voice a bit heavy.
"Sit, I'll be with you in a second" the brunette said before poring over some papers in front of her.
Naomi did as she was told and waited patiently, taking out a few loose sheets of paper and a pencil in the meantime. Today, Emily was wearing a thin grey jumper with a Panda printed on the front along with dark jeans and sneakers. Her hair was loose, falling over her eyes on one side while the other was tucked behind her ear. She was nibbling the end of her pen in that way she always did when focused on something and Naomi tried not to find her too adorable. She failed miserably though and decided to avert her eyes before she was caught staring. She could feel her heart beating fast and she closed her eyes for a moment. She needed to control these… thoughts she kept having about the other woman. She needed to stop observing her, stop noticing all the little things that made her so unique, so interesting to the blonde.
Naomi opened her eyes when she heard Emily get up from her desk. She followed the other woman's movement as she walked over and swore internally when she noticed the way Emily's hips swayed. She really was doing a poor job of pushing away her inappropriate thoughts about the teacher.
"Alright" The brunette said as she sat down next to Naomi, bringing two desks together again so she'd be closer. "So what did we learn last time?" she questioned.
"That we wouldn't be learning about patronuses, which is a shame, and that you're very judgemental about Garibaldis, which is downright unacceptable" Naomi replied with a smirk before she could stop herself.
Emily shot her head back a little and laughed lightly. She shook her head afterwards and grinned back at the blonde in a way that almost made her heart stop.
"Anything apart from that?" She asked trying to be serious, but a smile still lingering on her lips.
"That writing is better with feelings" Naomi said, trying to rid her voice of scepticism.
"Not just writing" Emily mused. "But well, that's what we're here to talk about so, correct. Now Naomi, tell me, have you given a bit of thought about what I said last time?"
"Which part exactly?"
"About letting yourself feel first in order to then write it" the teacher provided.
Naomi pursed her lips and sighed, a twinge of anxiety rising in her chest. She wasn't sure how to answer that. She had in a way let herself feel. She couldn't deny it with what had happened with Panda and Effy, could she? But then she hadn't wanted to and she'd pushed the feelings back. She knew that too. And that was alright too, right? If it suited her, it was okay… right?
"Sort of" she answered after a few seconds.
She was a bit afraid of Emily's reaction, but when the brunette smiled kindly Naomi realised she shouldn't have. Of course Emily wouldn't be disappointed in her, would she? She was entirely too perfect for that, apparently.
"Well, sort of is better than nothing" the petite woman approved. "And what was your conclusion on the matter?"
"That I still don't know what I'm supposed to do" the blonde admitted with a bitter scoff, the anxiety in her chest growing stronger.
"It's okay, you're still young, you can learn that" Emily said to reassure her.
Of course, the fact that Naomi knew she wasn't exactly that young- or at least not as young as the brunette thought- kind of ruined the teacher's words and in the end, she wasn't reassured at all.
"What if…" the blonde started, uncertainly, before cutting herself off.
When Emily gave her an encouraging nod, she continued.
"What if I don't… well… If I don't want to learn. I mean… I don't see what the fuss is all about" she finished, the anxiety growing so strong now, that she felt like it was consuming her.
And essentially, it was true. She really didn't get it, when it came down to it. She didn't know why everyone went on and on about feelings and expressing them. It wasn't that the blonde was insensitive or didn't have them, of course not. It wasn't that she didn't care about anything ever, but she didn't understand why people in general seemed to urge her to get more in touch with her emotions. Why wasn't it okay to stay the way she was?
Her mother had been on her back about this for ages, that was a given, but she'd never listened. Even Cook, who wasn't the world's greatest sharer, thought she needed to express herself more sometimes. Again, Naomi hadn't listened, because, she liked how she was. She didn't want to change and if it was just those two, it hardly mattered, right?
But then it hadn't been just her mother and Cook, as she had thought. Then, Naomi had learned that even Kieran- of all people- and executives she'd never even met from the Paper were judging her, saying she lacked humanity. What the fuck was that even supposed to mean? According to her boss, it meant she had to show more emotion in her writing and if Naomi had tried to dismiss that, it was so much harder now that she had been told the same by Emily and now that she had accepted to take lessons to fix a problem she wasn't sure she had.
She felt her chest squeeze painfully as the anxiety rose to ridiculous proportions. She hated all this, hated the notion that she had to change, that there was something wrong with her. She was sick of justifying her way of life, sick of being told how she ought to be or not to be. She was the person she was and whether or not she liked to express her fucking feelings, that really was up to her, wasn't it?
"You say it'll make my writing more compelling and I guess… I just don't see why it's so crucial" Naomi started explaining a bit desperately. "I mean, it's fine as it is, isn't it? You said so yourself, you said it was really good. So why should I have to change it? Why bother with this feelings and self-expressive bollocks I don't even believe in? Why does it even matter? I mean, what if I like the way my writing is? Has this been considered? Is this "emotional business" some kind of social norm I wasn't aware I had to abide by? I just don't think that's fair. I don't think I should have to do something if I don't want to"
When she finished, Naomi noticed she was a little out of breath. She also knew that somewhere along the way, her speech had stopped being about the extra lessons and from the way Emily was looking at her now, the teacher knew that too. She felt embarrassed suddenly. She couldn't believe she'd blurted all of this out and to Emily of all people. She got up quickly, feeling her cheeks heating up and started to gather her stuff to leave.
"I'm sorry, I just… I don't think this…" Naomi tried to explain, avoiding the other girl's eyes, but was soon cut off.
"Naomi, sit down" the brunette snapped, her voice firm.
Despite the fact that her brain was yelling at her to flee the room, the blonde felt herself sit back down at Emily's command. She stayed silent for a few seconds and so did the teacher, Naomi still not able to make eye contact with the brunette.
"So? How do you feel now?" The petite woman eventually inquired, her voice as calm as ever.
Naomi licked her lips as she pondered the question. Her heart was still beating fast and she knew her cheeks were still red. Mostly, she felt embarrassed by the whole outburst, so that's what she answered.
"I feel embarrassed. I'm sorry I lost my temper" she muttered, her eyes still on the linoleum floor.
"And? Do you, by any chance, feel any… lighter?" The brunette pushed.
Naomi frowned and realised with a small jolt to the heart that, all things considered, she did. She lifted her gaze finally and met Emily's amused one. Before she could even think about it, the blonde felt her lips curve into a very small smile and she nodded.
"I… I guess I do" she admitted sheepishly.
Emily smiled brighter at that, satisfaction flashing through her eyes momentarily.
"See, this is why, Naomi" she said simply. "This is why feelings matter and why you have to let them out. Because when you don't, you explode. And listen… I know this little speech wasn't planned or anything and I know it wasn't supposed to be a piece of prose, but do you know what? Despite that, I think it's one of the most passionate pieces I've ever heard from you. It was full of feelings and I've got to say, it was captivating. I couldn't have looked away if I had wanted to"
"That might just have been the yelling" Naomi brushed off, feeling herself flush again. "Or the eyes, I tend to have googly eyes when I'm mad"
The teacher chuckled and shook her head.
"Stop deflecting Campbell" she warned playfully. "But seriously, if I offered you those lessons, if I want to show you how to express your feelings to put them on paper, it's because I know you're full to burst with them. You've got a fire in you, a passion that is uncanny. On top of that, I think you're an extremely talented writer. If you could just put the two together… then I think you'd release your true potential and being a teacher and all that, this is what I'm about. I know you haven't been here long Naomi, but I think… I know you. I believe you can do this, because I see more to you. You just need… well you just need to be brave enough to let yourself be that person"
Naomi was speechless as Emily finished speaking. Her mouth was opened slightly and her mind was blank. She was rather certain no one had ever said anything quite like that about her. It felt odd that a woman she'd known barely over a month was doing it now, especially a woman she fancied so much. But Naomi couldn't lie, it felt nice. It felt unbelievably good to hear the brunette say these things about her and to know she meant them. Was it possible that Emily was right? Despite what Naomi had always believed, was Emily onto something?
The blonde gulped slowly, but didn't say a word. What did you reply to someone who had just said such things about you? Her heart felt warm and Naomi knew then that she'd never be able to ignore the way Emily made her feel. She'd never be able to forget how full the other woman made her feel. She'd just have to deal with it for the sake of her article and her job, but she just knew that she was screwed then. She had never met anyone quite like Emily Fitch before.
"That being said" Emily continued when it was clear Naomi wouldn't say anything. "If this is not what you want, these lessons, if you're not comfortable with it, please just tell me. I never want you to feel obligated to be here and to do this. You're completely free to stop at any time you want" the teacher finished in all seriousness.
She wasn't offended by what Naomi had said, the blonde could tell. She was just genuinely telling her that this was her choice. And perhaps that was why Naomi shook her head almost instantly.
"No I… I don't want to stop" she admitted, her voice barely over a whisper.
"I'm glad to hear that" Emily said, a bashful smile illuminating her features.
Naomi was a bit speechless again.
"Do you want to call it a day? I mean, I know we haven't done anything really, but we can stop here today anyhow if you'd rather. Maybe you need a break" Emily said simply.
Naomi shook her head. Somehow, she wanted more, like Emily's words had given her the courage to do more even if she wasn't sure she could be more.
"No I…" she started. "Actually… I… Well, last time you asked me to tell you about a happy memory of mine… Maybe I could… tell you? Like now" she offered.
The blonde wasn't sure what had compelled her to say this, she really didn't. Even if she'd felt like doing more, offering to share something private about herself with Emily was quite atypical for her. Still, the offer had left her before she even had had the time to consider it. Maybe it was because she felt stronger since the teacher's speech though, maybe it was the other woman's faith in her that was making her want to prove herself. If Emily believed in her, than perhaps she really could do anything.
"If you want to share… I mean, I don't want you to feel pressured" the brunette explained.
Naomi shook her head again.
"No, I want to" she confirmed. "I want to tell you"
At her words, Emily's eyes seemed to glow with admiration and happiness and Naomi seriously considered scraping her work ethic just so she could have a shot at making Emily look at her like that again and again. Instead, she swallowed and licked her lips nervously.
"Just before… can I ask you something?" the blonde questioned politely.
"Of course"
"That story about the pie and your grandmother… Was it just for the lesson or is it actually true?"
Naomi didn't know why it even mattered, but when Emily gave her a smile and said "It was true, all of it", she felt lighter, happier. If the petite teacher had trusted her enough to share a part of her life with her, the blonde could do the same.
"Okay, right. So… a happy memory. Okay, well, it's always pretty much been just me and my mother, since I was little… The only relative I ever had was my grandfather, my mum's dad" she explained. "Honestly… that man was the greatest person I've ever met" Naomi said, feeling an affectionate smile creep on her lips. "He was also quite possibly the craziest sod I've ever met"
She glanced at Emily to see her wearing a similar smile on her face and continued.
"He was… well he was a total hippy" she reminisced with a chuckle. "He lived by a lake in this house, or at least he called it a house, but really it was more like a shack. It had running water, but no electricity. He kept a bunch of candles so we could see at night and he always argued the walls were thick enough for him to be fine during winter. Anyway, we'd go there during the summer, mum and I, when we could… And when mum was working too much, she'd send me alone"
Emily shifted her head to rest it on her open palm as Naomi spoke, but the blonde barely noticed. She was quickly letting herself soak back into her memories and the feeling was so intense it almost felt like she was back there.
"The man himself was the kindest, most patient person ever. I don't think I ever heard him speaking ill of anyone, although mum always said I just missed his activist phase. Anyway, every single day, he'd wake up at the crack of dawn and meditate for a few hours. Then, when he'd feel "energized" enough, he'd wake me up" the blonde explained. "Only, waking up for him wasn't exactly what it was for the rest of the world"
Naomi stopped herself to grin and Emily bit her bottom lip.
"Go on" the teacher urged her to continue.
"Grandpa always said that you couldn't start a day proper if you weren't in sync with the universe" the blonde explained, her voice full of the fondness she'd always had for the old man. "Also, he was a quarter French and although he could hardly speak more than a handful of words in the language, he always prided himself of this heritage. So every morning, he'd put on any song from this French singer called Joe Dassin as loud as he could on his old wireless radio, he'd walk into my room singing at the top of his lungs to wake me and then, I wasn't allowed to go on with my day before I had ran straight out of bed and jumped in the lake"
"What!?" Emily exclaimed surprised, but also giggling.
"Yeah" Naomi smiled. "He always said that every day was a new day to reinvent yourself. So plunging in the lake every morning was supposed to be my rebirth or something" she finished with an eye roll.
Emily looked like she wanted to ask something, but she bit her bottom lip again and nodded for Naomi to continue.
"Of course, he also always had a warm towel for me the instant I got out of the lake. He'd wrap it around my shoulders and then we'd sit together on the deck to look at the calm water for a few extra songs… Those times were… when I was the happiest…" Naomi finished, realising for the first time that she hadn't been happy like she had been then in a long time.
Emily waited for a moment before speaking, as if she wanted to make sure the blonde was done. When it became apparent that she was, she spoke up.
"Thank you so much for sharing this with me" she said, her eyes shining. "It was… precious. You must have loved your grandfather a lot"
"I did" Naomi confirmed, a knot forming in her throat. "He died when I was 13" she explained.
Emily nodded understandingly.
"See… those feelings you've shared, they're never really far away and they can be accessed when you write" the teacher explained.
"How?"
"Simple, they're an inspiration. Straightforwardly, if I asked you to write me a paragraph about that lake your grandfather lived by, you'd automatically think back to that time, wouldn't you?" Emily said to which the blonde nodded. "Well, it's the same inspiration you want to find if I ask you to write me a paragraph about any lake. It's not about telling your life story, but it's accessing the memories that make things special or different"
"Okay…" Naomi said slowly.
"So if I asked you to write me something about music, like a critique or something… without necessarily talking about that singer you mentioned, you could still write an assessment of music based on how it made you feel and you could evaluate those feelings because you have had feelings about music before. Do you understand what I mean?" Emily inquired.
"I huh… think so. Your memories are like… some kind of basis you use when you write, like some sort of scale? You don't compare per se, but it's a reference" the blonde asked and the petite woman beamed happily.
"Exactly. You don't write your life, your memories, not necessarily, but if you know them, if you own them, then you can write about anything while including the emotional resonance they have with you"
Naomi frowned and nodded slowly.
"I think I get it" she said.
"Yeah?" Emily challenged with a smirk. "Okay, then, let's put it to the test"
And with that, she gave Naomi an exercise.
The rest of the lesson passed rather quickly after that. The first few exercises had been sort of easy since Emily had been kind enough to centre them around the memory Naomi had shared with her, but then they'd gotten harder as the teacher strayed away from that general topic. Still, they'd laughed a lot and they'd even had a few lengthy conversations about writing techniques in general. When it had reached 7 though, Emily had exclaimed that they really had to go, apologising for keeping the blonde so long.
"I hope your mum won't worry about where you are!" the brunette said guiltily to which Naomi laughed.
Gina had barely ever worried about her whereabouts when she had been an actual teenager, so, of course, she wouldn't care now.
"Don't worry about it" the blonde still reassured the teacher.
They walked to the car park together and Naomi was surprised when they stopped in front of an old beat up car instead of the usual motorcycle. She had to admit she was kind of disappointed she wouldn't get to see the teacher in her biker's gear up today.
"Where's the motorcycle? Did you finally decide it wasn't "teachery" enough?" The blonde teased.
"No way!" Emily quickly defended. "It was pouring this morning, so I left it home"
"Oh right, that makes sense" Naomi agreed.
Then, the blonde stood there a bit stupidly as the brunette rummaged through her purse to find her keys. Once she had, Naomi felt a bit ridiculous to just observe her. As much as she'd have stayed with the other woman a lot longer, she knew it was awkward for her to take so much of her time.
"Well, hum… I'll see you Friday" the blonde said tentatively, trying to hide the longing in her voice.
"Oh of course" Emily said happily.
Naomi stayed still for about a second before her brain yelled at her to just fuck off and stop looking like a loon. She started moving away reluctantly, but before she had gone really far, Emily called after her.
"Actually Naomi, can I ask you something before you leave?" she requested politely.
"Anything" the blonde automatically responded and then scolded herself.
"Seriously, you great big wanker, sound a bit more eager why don't you?" she mentally whined.
"Did you have a favourite song? I mean, from that singer your grandfather always made you listen to… I know it doesn't exactly matter, but your story got me thinking about that and I just figured I'd… ask" she said with a shrug.
Naomi bit her lip to contain a smile at the thought that Emily had wanted to know more about her and tried to focus on the answer.
"I did, but then they'd always change. I always had a new one every summer" She answered truthfully.
"What about now?" Emily inquired. "What would your favourite song of his be now?"
Their gazes locked as the brunette finished her question and Naomi's heart quivered. She gulped slowly as a title came to her mind. Emily continued to look at her expectantly and Naomi almost told her then, told her the title of the one song she could think of in that instant, but in the end she didn't. She couldn't tell her. Instead, she gave her a playful eyebrow quirk and a smirk.
"I think I've done enough sharing for one day" she replied casually and Emily laughed and gave her an eye roll.
"And here I thought we had made progress" she teased.
God Naomi loved when the petite woman was smiling and feeling playful like that.
"We did" Naomi said with a pointed look.
"Well then?" Emily demanded.
"Then, don't push your luck" the blonde concluded with a smile that was probably a bit too wide, probably a bit too revealing.
But then Emily smiled right back and for a second, Naomi didn't care that she was falling more and more for the teacher. It wasn't appropriate, it was a mess actually, but she couldn't help it. Emily had the most beautiful smile and Naomi was just hopelessly smitten.
In the end, she tore her gaze away though and started walking away, sending a small wave to the other woman. Yes, she was falling and she couldn't help it, but she could still control herself… for now.
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Thank for reading! I hope you're still enjoying the story! I hope I can continue posting every week! I promise I'm working hard on that goal :) Lots of love to all of you! xxx