A/N: First off this chapter sucks. A lot. I'm not even kidding. I had an off writing day. It's not good in anyway, but I needed to put it in to explain some stuff. So I'll make you a deal. Deal with this chapter, being sucky and I promise you that the next chapter will have all the conflict/chilvary/angst/ everything you guys want and more in it. Just don't flame me. Because I know how bad this chapter is.
I'm glad all of you enjoyed last chapter and reviewed (to those of you who ate the pancakes YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE! (hint hint). Please remember that chapter while you're reading this chapter.

Left Behind

Chapter 11

Dubious

It's nearing the end of February, it could already be March. All she knows is that for the past two weeks, since that night of acceptance with Jack, it's been raining nonstop. Locke tells her it's nearing the end of the rainy season and that soon it'll be back to muggy and hot, but she has nothing to go by. There are no calendars in any of the houses; she's checked all of them in her spare time. The Others didn't like calendars. Or Locke doesn't like calendars.

Kate's been stuck in the house for almost two weeks straight, with nothing to do except grow bigger. None of the clothes she brought with her will fit, she knows it. The red tank top she's been using religiously is starting to be resistant, sometimes some of the fibers snap. The middle three buttons on Jack's shirt won't do up anymore. If she was smart, when she was scavenging for a calendar, she could have looked for clothing as well, but things seem to slip her mind easier now.

As she reaches for a glass on the top shelf in the kitchen, her stomach pushes into the counter. She groans as her fingers struggle to reach the cup and finally she manages to grasp it. She always forgets how big she is and she keeps banging her stomach off random things, like doors or drawers. Kate smiles as an apology while rubbing the spot where the pressure had been and reminds herself to set a hand on her stomach for protection before she does most things.

A few seconds later when she slides open a drawer for a spoon she maneuvers out of the way just on time before the handle would have crashed into her. She swears her memory is going, but Jack told her that it was all in her head, then laughed and told her to forget about it.

Kate grumbles at the memory as she scoops powdered milk from the Dharma labeled package into the empty cup. Jack had better talk to Locke soon, because this was their last box and it wasn't going to last to the end of the day. She can deal with most things, like the backaches, the constant bathroom breaks, the nightmares and the newest addition of slightly swelling feet. But if she has to go a day without milk, she thinks she'll lose it.

There are no clocks around, just like calendars, but she knows that until an hour before nightfall Jack will either be studying medical charts or taking care of Claire. Claire who she still hasn't seen in two and a half weeks, Jack won't tell her anything about it. He has convinced Hurley not to either and she really doesn't feel like getting her island gossip from Sawyer, who she hasn't seen since their argument.

The glass clanks as she sets it on the counter and takes a deep gulp of air. The remains of the grainy mixture are sliding down the inside of the glass and she wonders how she could have drunk the entire thing all ready. The empty house almost mocks her and the echoing of the tap turning on resonates longer than it should.

When she chances a look outside through the window above the sink, she smiles because even though the Barracks look like a field of mud, the rain has finally stopped. Turning the glass upside down on a towel to dry, she hurries to the bedroom, ignoring how she knows her walk is a waddle, and stops in the doorway to stare down her shoes.

The shoes along with her engorging feet are the newest chapter to Kate's pregnancy woes. Her shoes are impossible to get on; moving around her stomach is now near impossible, and the odd time when she spends over an hour getting both shoes on, her feet and ankles end up throbbing. Those instances end up with the shoes being flung at the wall. She's seen Jack eye the mud stains on the wall but he's never said anything.

Before she can even attempt to pick up the tan hiking boots there's a stern knock at the front door. Kate lets out an aggravated sigh and waddles into the front room to answer the door. On the other side of the threshold Locke smiles at her wide and almost dubiously. The weak sun battling with the clouds illuminates his face, drawing attention to the sinister looking scar running over his eye.

"Afternoon Kate," he greets and hold out a paper plate with cellophane wrapped tight around the contents which appear to be pancakes, "missed you at breakfast today. I thought you might be hungry."

She accepts the plate with a cautious smile, "thanks John, I'll eat these later. I don't have much of an appetite today."

"Sorry to hear that," his smile pulls wider, "other than that, how are you feeling?"

"I'm okay," Kate hides her skepticism, "I was just leaving to go visit Jack. He told me he was going to spend the day reviewing medical files."

Locke shakes his head and crosses his arms, "No not today Kate, he's up with Claire," he pauses as if the next words take extra time to plan, "I don't think it would be to wise to visit her."

She takes offense to his words, but she masks them with concern, "Why can't I see Claire, what's wrong with her?"

Locke's lips press so firm they're almost white. His eyes stare into hers, as if they're toying with each other. In a way they are. "You mean Jack didn't tell you?"

"Tell me what?" the words come out in a huff as her back tightens and her patience disappears.

"He didn't tell you what happened to Claire and Aaron?"

Kate could hear him as he walks down the dirt path. He's tired and his feet are dragging against the drying mud, in less than five minutes he'll be home. She's sitting on the plaid couch in the front room close to the end table, but not close enough to reach the lamp. For that reason the room is dim with strangled light from the clouds and sunset.

She's been in the same spot for almost an hour, waiting for Jack to return, mulling over what Locke told her and what Jack didn't. Her hand is draped over her stomach which is covered by the same

red tank top that her wardrobe consists of. She's waiting for the baby to kick, but throughout the entire day she hasn't felt a thing.

Jack opens the door, a thin layer of sweat glistening on his arms from the walk and the mugginess caused by the rain. When he sees her he jumps back and chuckles, "Jesus Kate, you have to stop doing that."

"Why didn't you tell me?" it surprises her that her voice is so calm. She expected to start screaming at him the moment he entered the house, but for some odd reason she's holding back. She wants to believe that Locke is lying. That Jack would tell her if she was in danger. If their baby was in danger.

"Why didn't I tell you what?" he questions as he crosses the room and turns on the table lamp. She can hear the naivety in his voice and when light floods the room he's smiling like everything is okay, when he's known since they arrived at the Barracks that it's not.

Using the arm of the couch for support she stands, and crosses her arms over her chest "Why didn't you tell me why Claire's depressed, or what happened to Aaron?"

The smile falls from his face and immediately she can see it's not something he's proud of, "Kate, I was going to tell you but I didn't want you to spend every day worrying. I didn't want you to be stressed. This pregnancy is high-risk already. You don't have most of the vitamins you need, and if something happens there's no hospital—"

"Jack, the Others took him," her voice is sharp now, and she can feel her temples throb, "They just came here and took him. He's gone."

"Locke's group wasn't ready for the strike, they took a few people along with Aaron, there wasn't enough people to fight," Jack's eyes are on the floor, his hand uneasily rubbing the back of his head.

"We're not ready for a fight Jack," Kate takes a step forward, her hand reaching for his, "And they're going to come. They're the ones who started this."

"I'm not going to let them do anything Kate," he squeezes her hand and pulls her closer.

Her head shakes and she rests it on his chest, "we need to get out of here."

She can feel his hand smooth over her hair as the other firmly rests on her back, "I've been trying the phone every night it—"

"We need to get out of the Barracks Jack," she pulls away and looks him in the eye, "We need to go back to the beach or the clearing and we need to wait for the helicopter."

"No," his head is shaking and his jaw set, "you can't walk back all the way back to the beach. Sawyer, Hurley and Locke are here. It's safer here."

"How can you say that? This is where they took Aaron," her anger melts into frustration at Jack, at the situation, at everything, "Jack, Locke could be working with them, we need to leave."

Jack falls silent and she knows he's contemplating their options. Kate moves close and once again takes his hand and places his palm flat on her stomach, "Jack," her voice is trembling with the tears welling in her eyes, "if I have this baby on the island, they will come and they will take it." Slowly, she moves her eyes back to his, eager to find understanding and agreement. His face resembles her own, etched with deep lines of sleepless nights.

The feelings are overwhelming within her. This baby that she didn't even have a conscious part in conceiving is now her main reason for survival. "Jack," her voice is almost deafened by the fear and concern present in her voice, "If they take this baby, we will never see it again."

Jack moves forward and presses his lips to hers and they both ignore each other's tears. Both his hands now cover her stomach, his thumbs meeting at her belly button, and he pulls away from her lips to his her forehead in reassurance, "We'll leave tomorrow afternoon."

Next Chapter - I promise you whatever you want (within reason) just please don't tell me how much this chapter sucked. Because I KNOW!