The Space In Between
Chapter 11
The sound of her name brought Caroline back into the room.
"Caroline, I've got a call to make so I'm just scooting out for a bit" whispered Gavin.
Caroline turned to him and nodded, not quite sure she'd heard what it was that he said. It didn't seem important. She once again became conscious of the speaker at the front of the room but only fleetingly. Caroline had struggled to pay attention to any of the talks and had only just got through her own presentation, by the skin of her teeth, and the fact that she had delivered it on a number of occasions.
There was only one thing, on a relentless loop, in her head, and that was Kate, and the events of the last two days.
The trip home the previous night had been unbelievable. Extraordinary. So much so that every now and then she felt like it had been a dream. It wasn't the kind of experience that you could easily file into known or expected activities.
It felt so surreal and this was compounded by the fact that she had been unable to really speak to Kate since then.
Kate's house had been the first drop-off point for Don.
There had been no time for any conversation or explanation. They'd leant against each other trying to catch their breath and comprehend the last 40 minutes. Besides, neither, could have found any words, to make any sense, anyway, of what had happened. Or explain the amazing effect that it had had on their bodies. They had just sat there touching and glowing.
Caroline had walked in the door at home to be greeted by a sick and unhappy Lawrence, an exam-anxious William and a mother who kept prattling on about the benefits of Facebook. She'd taken a deep breath and headed for the kitchen and a large glass of red wine.
.
ooooXoooo
.
"Hi"
"Kate…hi," relieved, "it's nice to hear your voice." Said so softly, that it was almost a whisper.
"It's so good to hear your voice, too, Caroline."
It had been less than an hour since they'd parted.
Silence.
"I…I…don't know…um…what to say." Caroline said quietly.
"I…I am ah...um pretty speechless myself."
After another delicate pause. "Jesus Kate…what was…that?" again almost whispered.
"I don't know…Caroline…but it was bloody amazing."
"Yes…well then…arhh …whatever it was um…I…I want… I…I'd like more of," Caroline managed to get out. Her voice heavy with desire.
"I'm with you, Caroline." Her voice matching Caroline's.
Words failed them again.
Their breathing became shallow. Nasal.
The space in between them was electric.
"And if I could have it now…that wouldn't be too soon," dared Kate.
"Oh Kate…if there was some way that I could make that happen, I would."
"I know…I know" acknowledged Kate gently, "I know."
"I can't talk…sorry, I've got my hands full but…"
"I just needed to hear your voice."
"Yeah," Caroline agreed, softly, "I'm glad you called," she paused, "I was beginning to think that I'd um...ah,"
"Dreamt it," Kate filled in, "me too… though…I am kind of still feeling it…now…Caroline."
"Hmmmm…Kate," her voice was deep, almost a breathy moan," I know what you mean."
"Mum, Mum, I think Lawrence is going to throw up!"
"I'm coming," hand over the mouthpiece, "get him the bucket from the laundry."
"Kate…I ah…"
"It's ok Caroline."
"I'm …well…then…sorry, Kate, Lawrence is about throw up so I've got to go."
"Oh Caroline…poor you…until Saturday then?"
"Yeah…I'll call you tomorrow Kate…night night."
"Goodnight."
"Kate?" added hurriedly.
"Yes," expectantly.
"I...arh…just wanted to say th-"
"Mumm…it's happening!" shouted William, "come quickly."
"God, Sorry, I've got to go."
.
ooooXoooo
.
Caroline looked at her watch and rolled her eyes when she noticed that only 45 minutes had passed since they returned from the lunch break. There were two more sessions to get through. Sitting and listening were not Caroline's strong points, particularly when she was restless. She would rather be back at Sulgrave Heath being busy.
"God…I don't think I could put in another couple of hours"
She checked the program as Gavin returned.
"Did I miss much?"
She shook her head.
Caroline leant into Gavin. "These last two sessions are much more your area than mine Gavin, so, I might just scoot off if you don't mind…seeing that I was up half the night with the orchestra."
"Yes of course Caroline, I forgot about that….it's all sorted now is it?" he questioned.
"Yes Mike's got it well in hand."
"No...then… you get along…I don't mind sitting the rest of this out."
"Thanks Gavin…I've got a ton of things to do."
"Caroline…why not just have the afternoon off…go do something nice for yourself," suggested Gavin.
"Thanks Gavin but I have plenty to do. I've got the staff performance outcomes to organise-"
Gavin held his hand up. "Not another word Caroline…go…go do something nice for yourself, for a change," he flapped his hand shooing her away,"…go lie on a couch with a glass of wine or take a walk in a park, whatever, just take the afternoon off."
Caroline was about to argue with him when the dawn of a new possibility floated into sight, causing her to inhale sharply.
"Right well then…are you sure?"
Gavin nodded.
Caroline gathered her things together as her mind started to race and her body started to anticipate whatever this new turn of events could deliver.
She sent a Text.
Kate, are you free this afternoon?
Caroline started the Jeep and headed for home.
Will be… by 2.00…why?
Will you be at yours at 2.30?
Can be…Caroline are you coming over?
Yep!
I'll be there.
As Caroline turned into her drive she figured that she'd just have enough time to cook something for the boys' dinner, shower and get over to Kate's by 2.30. There'd be no room for dallying. Which suited her fine. Rushing was one way she could quell her ever-increasing excitement and the gnawing anxiety that had sprouted in her gut.
.
ooooXoooo
.
The street outside Kate's was deserted, as Caroline pulled the Jeep up.
"You can do this," she kept repeating to herself, "just let Kate take charge…she'll know."
'Yes – Willingly'
Caroline's courage and urgency were at loggerheads with her fear of being exposed for her naïveté and her compulsion for Kate.
She sat in the car making exit plans for all eventualities.
She sat in the car feeling consumed by a love that was bigger than the street.
She sat in the car wanting to run.
She sat in the car wanting to stop running.
"It's ok Caroline…I've got you."
Caroline shut her eyes and counted backwards from ten, slowly.
There really was no going back now. She had already crossed the line from one world into the next. From nothingness into somethingness. From rejection to confession. She had cautiously acquiesced to the primal pull of the thread, too long denied. There may be no third chance.
She took a deep lung expanding breath, opened the door, stepped out and ran up Kate's path before she could change her mind.
Two more strong breaths. She pressed the bell.
Kate opened the door. They stared at each other expectantly, nervously. Then Kate reached out for Caroline's hand and gently welcomed her inside. Wordlessly.
In the hall, Caroline dropped her bag on the floor and took Kate's other hand, bringing them both to her breast, then to her lips. She was working up the courage to consent to all that she had disowned. Her heart raced dangerously.
Kate desperately tried to read Caroline. Her own anxiety and anticipation were competing for space. She followed their hands up to Caroline's lips then continued on to her eyes.
They paused.
Both apprehensive.
Caroline let go of Kate's hands and reached up and stroked her face so tentatively, so warily that her hands trembled. Her eyes searched madly for any sign of a contradiction.
Kate waited, allowing Caroline the liberty to initiate the kiss. It seemed to take a lifetime. She placed her hands on Caroline's hips. Pulling her a bit closer.
Caroline fastened her eyes on Kate's lips and leaned forward slowly closing the gap. As she got to within a whisper of her lips she closed her eyes and released a tiny nervous sigh. She opened her mouth slightly and gently fitted her lips onto Kate's, inhaling deeply as she did. The sensation of touching Kate's yielding moist lips sent a rolling spasm from her solar plexus to the epicentre of her longing. A moan escaped her throat.
They felt it on their lips.
Kate met her there. Gently responding to the movement. Mirroring her. Her own level of desire threatening to detonate.
Caroline pulled back. Blinking. Focussing on Kate's eyes. Looking for approval and finding it.
"God Caroline you're…" she stopped suddenly, and sucked in a breath as Caroline placed a hand on her midriff. They stared at each other. Wide-eyed. Being able to touch, feel and taste each other, unrestricted, unhindered, had at last become a reality.
Their senses exploded and their bodies flooded with pure lust.
They fell towards each other. Their lips collided urgently seeking validation. Kate wrapped her arms around Caroline's shoulders bringing her in close to her body. Their heads switched sides several times as their hungry mouths search for a resolution to the enormous want within. Caroline wrapped her arms around Kate's waist and hips trying to take all of her in…even the missing years.
Unable to contain the overriding craving between them, in a flurry of hands, arms, lips, hips and sounds, they devoured each other.
In the pulling and pushing Caroline found herself up against the hall wall - minus her jacket, shirt open, Kate's hands on her breasts, her hand halfway down Kate's jeans - needing to take a deep breath.
She pulled back from Kate's lips. Their breathing was very ragged; their need was unbearable.
Catching their breath. Catching up with the moment.
Catching up with themselves.
Too wild. Too uninhibited
It was as though they'd forgotten each other in the frenzy to satisfy the burning ache deep within. It had been so long since either of them had been provoked to such heights.
Something snapped.
Caroline leaned forward, taking refuge in the hollow between Kate's neck and her shoulder.
Kate held her tight, stifling the madness. Lost in a memory that had hauled her body back to longed-for summits. Tangled recollections. Joanne.
She felt unravelled.
She kissed the side of Caroline's head and moved her away from the wall.
Caroline clung to Kate. She tried to remember her exit plans.
She felt undone.
Their breathing lengthened.
"Caroline…God…sorry…."
Kate loosened her arms to give Caroline room to shift.
"This is a bit too…too…" said Kate searching for the right words as she lowered her forehead onto Caroline's shoulder. "Are you ok?"
A nod.
Kate stroked the back of Caroline's head.
Moments passed.
"Aren't we a fine pair?" Kate said graciously, straightening, with a wide smile as she gently lifted up Caroline's head until their eyes met.
Caroline returned the smile and took a big breath, allowing the last of her fear to disperse through her feet.
Kate's eyes settled her.
"I think what is called for here, Ms Elliot…is a nice hot cup of tea." said Kate in her best London accent.
"You are so gorgeous Kate," Caroline scrunched her nose. She looked away, "I am sorry I…arhh…it was all a bit…mmm…"
"Caroline…it wasn't just you…" said Kate as she shook her head and searched for Caroline's eyes, "I think the pressure of the last few days…in fact… for me…if I'm honest… it would be the last month...and really, we've not spent too much time with each other have we?...Like to just talk?"
Caroline nodded "Yeah…" she examined Kate's eyes, "too soon…maybe?"
"Yeah," said Kate softly, "yeah…I think so, for me anyway."
Relief. Validation. Respect.
They reached forward into a tender kiss.
"And what we have is… like…I don't know… like last night for instance….so amazing," said Kate lovingly, "but I don't want it to be just about sex, Caroline, not that I don't want that, but…I want to know you a bit…know more about you, when we…you know…" she raised her shoulder to her chin and scrunched her nose, " a bit old fashioned, I know bu-"
Caroline reached up and kissed her so softly and passionately that Kate let out a little groan.
"So how about that cup of tea then, Ms McKenzie?" Another kiss, smaller this time.
"I think we need to have a date or two, Ms Elliot," jested Kate.
"Maybe. How about we spend the afternoon drinking tea…and…making out on your couch," suggested Caroline, eyebrows up, as she moved away from Kate, "but we're not allowed to go any further than first base," as she pointed her finger at the other woman and then her own shirt, smiling.
"Why are you pointing at me?!" laughed Kate throwing her hands up, then down to the undone buttons on her jeans, doing them up as she headed for the kitchen.
"Then tomorrow if we behave….maybe we could move to second base." said Caroline suggestively, buttoning up her shirt as she followed her.