A/N: Happy Update Monday! Chapter Eleven of "Finding Courage" has arrived! Thank you for the reviews and follows. You all are so great! (: Don't forget to check out my other ongoing stories which I also update every Monday: "Getting To Know You" and "Take A Bite Of My Heart Tonight" Well that's all for now, enjoy! (:
Warning! Swearing and boy on boy make out.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Glee or its characters. All property goes to Fox, Ryan Murphy, and the rest of its owners.
Finding Courage
Chapter Eleven: The Surprises
I was nervous for Kurt today.
Like, extremely, jumpy, panicky, yelling-at-Wes-every-time-he-brought-up-his-stupid-rules-he-could-indicate-for-the-gavel nervous.
I heard from Kurt a few times this morning, like when he told me when he took his pain medication and when he texted me he was wheeling into the school. After that I had to turn my phone off during my Dalton classes because I've got in trouble before for texting Kurt and not paying attention.
Right after school, when I was walking outside Dalton's large, wide, double doors, I turned on my phone without any hesitation. When my phone's menu showed on the screen, I was instantly frightened.
I had three missed calls and five new text messages from Kurt:
I didn't have any bad things happen today other than Karofsky telling me that I deserved this and he threw me in the dumpster. I was late to class because Puck had to help me out and help me find my wheelchair. I have detention tonight. Sent: 8:25 A.M
I yelled at my English teacher and may have not used some appropriate school words. I have two nights of detention. Sent: 10: 02 A.M
I slapped Finn in the face during Chemistry. I have three nights of detention. Sent: 1:10 P.M.
I punched Rachel during Glee club today. I have four nights of detention. Sent: 4:02 P.M
Hey could you pick me up after detention is out tonight? Text me back when you get out of school, love you! Sent: 4:22 P.M
Oh. My. God. Really, Kurt?
I groaned as I replied to him.
Do you want me to wait to see you until I pick you up tonight? Sent: 4:32 P.M
I decided to not question him about his sudden and strange detentions. I looked around the large parking lot. Why can't I leave the dorms early and get a space towards the front? I need to remind myself of that. When I finally found my car, I felt my pocket vibrate when I unlocked it.
I unlocked my cell phone's screen:
Yeah. I don't want you to waste too much gas. See you then? Sent: 4:36 P.M
Yeah I'll see you then. I love you baby! Sent: 4:37 P.M
I love you too! (: Oh! I got this new strawberry scented shoe polish! You should bring your shoes tonight!
I huffed and rolled my eyes as I reversed my car. He sure has a lot of explaining to do.
ooOOoo
Kurt's detention scheduled to get out at 6:30. I pulled into the parking lot at 6:28 and texted him to let him know that I'm here. After two minutes passed by of me drumming my fingernails on the steering wheel and trying to figure out what to say to Kurt, I saw a bunch of kids came out of the school's front doors.
I squinted and saw some giant wheels rolling on the parking lot and instantly noticed Kurt. He was talking with Puck as he wheeled his way down the parking lot, looking for my car. When he saw me he waved at me and wheeled over to my passenger door. I had my head on the steering wheel, still trying to figure out what the hell I was going to say.
"Hey Blaine," I heard him breathe out after struggling to get in the passenger seat. He placed his wheelchair in the backseat and closed his passenger door. I looked over at him and he was smiling at me, clicking his seatbelt.
"Can you please explain to me what happened?" I asked him irritated.
"I got detention." Kurt shrugged and looked at me, like I should know why he was there.
"Yeah I know but okay…I get tonight's detention. That wasn't your fault, it was Karofsky's. Explain this one though…" I scrolled through my message inbox and clicked on the second one. I showed it to him. Kurt read it and bit his lip.
"I may have gotten mad at the English teacher…" he mumbled, his gaze averting to his lap instead of my phone's screen.
"Why? What did she do?" I asked him loudly, kind of getting angry.
"Okay well first of all…she had no idea what she was talking about. She knows nothing about English and when I merely wanted to correct her she started yelling and I may have started yelling back and told her that I didn't know how the fuck to learn in her class if she doesn't teach us shit—"
I gasped. I never heard Kurt use such fowl language at a teacher of all people. Well I've heard him say that to me, Burt, and some employees at the ER but not a teacher.
"Kurt! You can't talk to teachers that way! What were you thinking?"
Kurt groaned and threw his head back against the seat, aggravated.
"I wasn't! I've never yelled at a teacher before! Except for Mr. Shue one time…but it just…it came out and I couldn't stop it!" Kurt threw his arms up and let them fall back against his thighs loudly
I bit my lip. Wait a second…he really doesn't have a clue as to why he yelled at his English teacher? Oh god, could it be his emotions?
"Did you start crying afterwards?" I turned in my seat to face him.
He sat still and frowned uncomfortably. "Maybe…" he replied faintly.
"It's your hormones isn't it? This medicine?" Kurt nodded guiltily.
I frowned and swallowed thickly; I turned around in my seat and stared straight ahead of me instead of at Kurt.
"I knew this was going to happen. I knew when you went back to school that your emotions would get the better of you. Is that also what happened when you slapped Finn and punched Rachel?" I turned to look at him.
His eyes were gleaming and he was sucking in his lips, trying to stop the tears. Oh no, his emotions again. He nodded guiltily at me and started sobbing, "I'm sorry Blaine I don't know what to say—"
I took a shaking hand of his and gently stroked it, speaking softly to him. "Hey, hey. Don't cry, Kurt. I shouldn't have reacted that way. I should have known it's not your fault."
"But it is my fault!" Kurt yelled.
"Hey listen. None of this is your fault. We have to figure out how to make this work," I said gently.
"Ugh! How? If I got detention for four nights in a row for one day, what's going to happen tomorrow? Do you want me to not take my medication?" Kurt's voice got even louder.
"No but—"
"Then what?" He screamed, as his emotional outbursts started to get louder. He continued to shake so I gripped his hand tighter but still trying to comfort these outbursts.
"Kurt, stop yelling. Do your teachers know that you have…problems?" I hesitated a bit for the word I knew he hated.
"No," he replied coldly.
"Well, why not?" my eyebrows scrunched up in confusion.
"Because they'll put me in the special ed class! I can't go in there; it'll be on my school records! They put every kid who has the slightest problem in there!" Kurt screamed.
Huh. I didn't think they would put him in those. I could understand how humiliating that could be for him but still…he can't go to school every day and treat people like this.
I shook my head at him. "But your detentions are going to be on your school records too, Kurt. Pick which one you would rather have on there: special ed classes until you completely heal or hundreds of detentions!"
Kurt's eyes started to gleam again as his emotions changed pace. He turned around in his seat and crossed his arms. He looked out the window to avoid me, I noticed him wipe some tears that escaped his eyes down his cheek as he sniffed.
I sighed and scratched my unruly hair. God this is a mess. I really wish he could heal like right now, that could make this entire problem go away. I looked over at him and his head was lying back on the seat, I thought he was asleep but I heard him sniff.
"Kurt I'm sorry I shouldn't talk to you that way. I'm your boyfriend not your dad I just…I care so much about you and I just want you to—"
"Just drive home." Kurt shook his head and interrupted me harshly.
"But I'm sorry and I—"
"I don't want to talk about it anymore. I'll just be this crazy, gay, paralyzed kid in special ed and then I'll really have no life. I'm going to get enough crap from dad when I get home so just…drive me home. Please." Kurt begged.
"He'll understand," I said softly to him, rubbing his arm.
He jerked his arm away from me. "No he won't. At least with you it's because you understand me but dad won't he'll just…think I'm being a bitch again."
I sighed defeat and started my car. Just when I thought things could be great for Kurt when we left the hospital, a new range of problems come to us. Can't we ever catch a break? This is so exhausting.
I drove to Kurt's house and helped him in his wheelchair silently; we didn't speak at all on the car ride home. I asked for music and Kurt told me a flat out 'no'. Kurt loves music, so when Kurt doesn't want to listen to music on any occasion, he's really worked up about something.
When I walked inside, wheeling him in-front of me, the house looked empty. We heard the washing machine so Carole must be downstairs with the laundry, no one was in the living room so we figured Finn was upstairs, I had no idea where Burt was though.
"Kurt and Blaine?" we heard Burt from the kitchen.
I sighed. Here we go.
"Yeah it's us!" I replied and Kurt bit his lip nervously, and then hung his down. I got on my knees beside his wheelchair and spoke softly to him and grabbed his hand.
"Hey let's just face the music and try to figure something out. Then I'll give you some more medicine and we can go to your room, okay? We can do whatever you want." I smiled to him.
He smiled back at me, the muscles in his hand relaxing, but soon shook his head.
"You don't have to…you should go home."
"No, I want to be with you. Let's do this, okay?" I stood up and kissed his forehead.
He nodded sadly and wheeled himself into the kitchen with me close behind.
Burt was sitting at the kitchen table going through documents, probably something for his shop. He looked up and I and Kurt both jumped a little at the stern look in his face. I saw him glance at Kurt and his face immediately softened a little.
"Can one of you explain what happened today? Kurt you have always been a model student and usually voice your opinion but never do the following that I received from Principal Figgins: Caused chaos in class, disrespectful towards others, students and teachers, fighting with physical contact, using foul language, and thirty minutes late for class."
Kurt and I both stood—well, he sat—in front of Burt speechless. Burt sat there staring at us, looking for answers, we were just scared shitless, and because Kurt and I both knew he was going to freak out.
"I don't know what happened and I'm really sorry dad," Kurt managed to speak up. I could tell he was trying to hold his crying down to a minimum. Even though he was honestly scared out of his mind and his emotions are out of whack.
"Sorry doesn't cut it, kid. I'm not going to slash your throat so please stop looking at me like that but I just don't understand any of this." Burt sighed hopelessly, shaking his head and rested his forehead on one of his rough, dirty hands.
I spoke up for Kurt, "It's his emotions, Burt; his hormones. The medicine is messing with him like usual. That's pretty much all it is." I shrugged, Kurt bit his lip nervously.
He frowned, adjusting to what I told him, but still looked confused. "But you haven't had an outburst like this for a couple weeks at the most…" he trailed off.
"Well Meghan says it's because most he was adjusting to certain situations and he hasn't had anything to really upset him. But now at McKinley…it's kind of a new level of situations," I assured him.
"Is this true?" But asked a little skeptical.
Kurt nodded furiously. "Yeah, dad, when I yelled at Miss. Sully and slapped Finn and—"
"What?" Burt's eyes grew wide.
"And punched Rachel—"
"What?" Burt almost laughed, agreeing Rachel isn't easy to get along with.
"I just…It came over me and it happened before I could think about it. I—I don't know what to say I'm just really sorry." Kurt shrugged.
Whatever Kurt managed to get out, he just seemed so confused and hopeless and kept apologizing. I feel so bad for him; he's acting out all the time and can't even control it. He doesn't want to behave like this but he does, there's nothing he can do about it.
"You didn't tell your teachers about all this, did you?" Burt asked, almost already knowing the answer if he knew his son well.
Kurt shook his head in reply.
Burt sighed at Kurt's decision and continued to bury his head in his palms.
"I don't want to go to special ed class. They'll put me in there when I tell them." Kurt explained, not as emotional as he was before when he talked to me about special ed. He's probably had some time to reconsider going in there.
"Don't you think it won't be that bad? You'll be the best one in there grade wise and it'll only be temporary. I mean it's either that or home-schooling." Burt shrugged.
"I guess I could…go to special ed class." Kurt groaned, not crazy about the decision but if I knew Kurt at all—I know he doesn't want to give up singing, and he'd have to do that if he home-schooled.
"Good. We'll get there early tomorrow and I'll talk with Principal Figgins." Burt decided and stacked his documents in a neat pile, getting up from the kitchen table.
Kurt nodded slowly, "Okay. I'm sorry dad—"
"It's okay, bud. It's all going to work out." Burt gently gripped Kurt's shoulder with his hand and headed downstairs.
"Come on; let's take your medicine now, Kurt." I suggested and headed over to the kitchen table. After I sorted out all of Kurt pills, I noticed he finally wheeled himself beside me.
I laid out ten different pills on the kitchen table—it was shorter for him to reach than the counter—and gave him a glass of water. I sat in one of the table's chairs and waited. It took him a good two minutes, considering two of the pills looked like horse pills to me, but he finally finished them all and gave me the glass.
I took a Diet Coke out of the refrigerator for him and a regular for me. I gave him his drink as we headed towards his bedroom. I poked my head towards the entrance of downstairs and let Burt know we were going to Kurt's room, he of course told me to leave the door open.
When we reached his room, I helped settle Kurt onto his bed gently and kissed him sweetly before laying on the bed with him. I lay close to him and turned on my side, facing him. He looked down at his fingers, which was splayed out on his stomach, playing with the material of his shirt.
"So…what do you want to do?" I asked him, trailing a finger of mine slowly and carefully down his chest. He shrugged with a frown.
"I don't know." He mumbled.
"Come on, you're not still upset are you?" I asked him worriedly. He shrugged. Yup, he is.
I groaned. "Kurt these emotions are not your fault. I wish you would stop stressing over it." I said gently and held one of his hands that rested on his stomach, gently rubbing his knuckles with my thumb.
"I just…I know they aren't my fault and I know I shouldn't get worked up over what I can't handle but…I hate that I do all this. I wish I could go into school, have a nice day, and not act like a freaky, hormonal, mental patient. You should have seen the way everyone looked at me. Even Mercedes and Tina…they all looked at me like I was some weirdo." Kurt threw his head back against the pillows and groaned.
"They just don't know how to take this in, that's all. Today was horrifying for the both of us. Everything was new to you, Karofsky and all the other neanderthals' and closet freaks were there, and come on its high school. I bet tomorrow will be better for you. Your friends will be more supportive of you, even if you have to go into special ed." I made a mental note to text all the New Directions and ask what the hell is wrong with them and to support Kurt.
Kurt smiled weakly up at me, then his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Wait, how was it horrifying for you?"
I shrugged shyly. "I just…I was worried about you. I didn't want anything to go wrong." Kurt smiled at me and looked like he was going to go 'aw' "and then it did," I sighed.
Kurt chuckled a little.
I rested my chin on his shoulder and we sat in the quiet, I wrapped my arm around his waist and he relaxed in my touch.
"You want me to do something to make you feel better? A massage? A hot bath? A song? Oh, I could get you a cheesecake, a whole cheesecake, Kurt!" I emphasized excitedly and he laughed loudly.
"No it's fine. I do know one way you could make me feel a little better though." He shrugged innocently and then looked at me with that devilish smile.
"What?" I asked slowly, a little afraid of his devilish smile.
"Well, you're my boyfriend, could you kiss me?" he asked so innocently, I smiled down at him.
"Definitely can do that," I replied and raised my eyebrows flirtatiously. "Just a kiss? Make you feel better?" I asked, releasing his hand and cupping his cheek.
He hummed contently and relaxed into my touch. "A long one, yes. I love kissing you Blaine, I love you."
"I love you too, baby." I breathed on his lips before capturing his lips into mine. He let out a short moan as I continued to kiss him. My fingers moved upward from his neck and gently raked through his hair. He sighed in my mouth at the affection as his head fell back into my palm, our kiss beginning to deepen.
His chest was starting to heave fast as was mine, our lips began to move together more hurriedly and sensual. I don't remember him putting his arms around my neck but they were there and pulling tighter as our kiss began to deepen even more.
I don't think our make out was out of hormones or lust but just…missing each other and need possibly. There's no way I could kiss him like this in the ER, and by the way he's kissing me back, it seems like he needs to be kissed this way, almost as an affirmation.
It felt so good for us to be kissing each other like this, in the midst of all the crap Kurt goes through, he deserves affection. He deserves so much more than what life has given him the past month.
Our lips finally departed and we both were panting for breath, my forehead resting on his, breathing on his lips. "I wanna taste you," I moaned before thinking, trying to stable my breathing.
For a moment Kurt didn't reply, just kept breathing, then his eyes grew wide and he leaned back from me a little. "What?"
I stared at him confused then understand what he meant. My eyes grew wide too.
"No, no Kurt. Tongue, your tongue," I replied fast.
"Oh." He blushed, as did I. Our breathing began to slow down and continue to a normal rate. "That should be okay." He nodded at me.
"You sure?" I asked him carefully, placing my hand on his chest.
"I'm sure, Blaine. Go ahead." He nodded and wrapped one arm around my back and with the other he held the back of my neck, forcing my lips onto his.
We continued to kiss again and I was careful to not press any part of my body onto him. As our kissing sped up once more, I licked his lips, asking an entrance for my tongue—although I already knew the answer— and they parted for me. I almost danced for joy, getting to taste that oh so talented tongue after a whole month.
I carefully slid my tongue in and we both moaned quietly. Well he moaned quietly, I may have been a smudge louder.
Oh god…that taste .Kurt's taste. Kurt's mouth. He was a little tense at first but he soon relaxed, enjoying the familiarity of it. I decided to take a little risk and raked my tongue against his teeth. He let out a short little moan and gently sucked on my tongue. Oh god. Kurt is sucking on my tongue. Now it was my turn to moan at Kurt's daring choice. Oh god…I really need to cool down. When he released me tongue, I gave him one last kiss and lowered my head onto his chest, breathing deeply.
He took my hand and brought it up close to where my face was resting on his chest. I felt his pillow above me make shift as he threw his head back, panting.
"Feel better?" I smirked, knowing he couldn't see me. I could feel his chest move up and down rapidly against my face as he panted for air.
"Oh yes."
Chapter Replies from Chapter Ten:
Sarahamanda: Thank you! Here's another update! Enjoy! (:
Mynamjo: Yes, Kurt has been through a lot. But as you see in this chapter, things are going to be hard for him. There will be further angst but further progression as well! And yes Kurt and Blaine love and trust each other very much. Because they are so friggin perfect ;)
Nbjd: Yes, Blaine's father in this fic is a lot different than in my other one. So I have to keep reminding myself that when I write the two fics, and yes they deserve all the sweetness in the world! But in this chapter, as you have read, Kurt returned to school and it didn't go over too well.
A/N: Another update will come next Monday so check back for a new chapter! In the next chapter we might hear from Blaine's dad or what happened to Hiram and Leroy since none of that is discussed in this chapter. So don't forget to REVIEW! I love hearing your thoughts on the story and plotlines. Love and Klainebows to all!