Chapter 11

"D-Daniel?" I stuttered.

I hoped I was dreaming, that none of this was real. That none of Daniel being in front of me was actually happening, but I knew better.

"Oh hey Tati," he smiled handing me the cups back.

I felt like punching the smile off his face. I felt like hurting him for being here, but I'm not like that.

"What are you doing here?" We both asked at the same time, which annoyed me.

He smiled like it was cute, but it wasn't. Nothing of this was cute or special at all.

"How are you?" Daniel asked.

"Does that even concern you?" I asked.

"Really Tati? Since when have you become so feisty?"

"Since you cheated on me." I said with out missing a beat.

I saw him roll his eyes like that were the dumbest thing I ever said.

"What are you doing here?" I questioned.

"I thought I'd stay here. LA is gorgeous," he said dragging out the last word.

"Why are you here?" I repeated myself raising my voice.

He gave me an unrelenting look before saying, "Because I knew I'd run into you sooner or later."

This grossed me out. He was waiting for me, what a dork. Did he possibly think I would take him back? Because the answer is no.

"Like I said Tati. I would make you mine again. What can I do to let you see that I'm the guy? All I ask for is a second chance."

"I don't give second chances. That's bull. Especially to people like you. Why don't you have sex with Mary? I'm sure she'll give you a second chance," I said with pure disgust in my voice.

"No. I don't want her. I want you."

"Too bad. I'm busy and I just want you gone. Don't waste your time."

"But I'm not wasting my time. I'm talking to you aren't I?"

I hated how he was acting. It made me sick. He was acting like what he did to me was nothing. But it was something. He's acting like he doesn't care, which pissed me off. Stupid asshole. I wanted to slap him to make him wake up. Make him realize that I'm never going back to a jerk like him.

"You are. But do I want to stay and chat with you? Hm, I don't think so," I said walking back inside to refill the drinks.

He pulled me back by placing his arms around my waist.

I turned around and gave him a dirty look. "Get your hands off me," I demanded.

"Depends. Do I want to? Hm, I don't think so," he sneered.

I pushed his hands off me and walked back inside to refill the drinks.

"You know, word on the street is you have a new boyfriend," he said from behind.

Why was he following me, I asked myself.

I rolled my eyes.

"Oh really?" I said in the most un-amused tone ever.

"Yeah. You're all over the magazines with that prick Jim?" he said.

"His name is James," I whirled on him. "And he's not a prick."

"Whatever," he said with a wave of his hand.

"You know, you really need to grow up and go back to New York and accept the fact that you ruined a relationship that you couldn't fix," I said.

"Whoa, no need to get salty with me," I said.

He was trying to turn everything into a joke, but it wasn't. Why is he so stupid?

"I'm not getting salty. I'm just stating the facts," I said raising my voice.

I grabbed the cups and bags and walked out of McDonalds. I took my phone out and texted James to meet me at McDonalds.

Within seconds he responded with an 'okay see you there baby(:'

I smiled, but then I remembered Daniel was here. My smile wiped away and I stared to the ground.

"Tati, can we please just talk things over?" He asked.

I looked up and shook my head. I kept my eyes straight on the building in front of me as I leaned against the window panel of Mickey D's.

"Come on Tatiana."

"Daniel! Just leave me alone! I don't like you! Go away. Go back to New York. Forget about me. What we had is history and you just need to cope with out me, okay?" I snapped.

"No because I can't do that," he said placing his hand on the window right above my shoulder, hovering over me.

I wanted to escape, to run away from all of this, but James was coming. I wanted to be in James' arms right now, but here Daniel was trying to play moves on me.

I wasn't sure what his intentions were and I was afraid he might do something. Something I would regret.

James Point of View

~~~~~~~~O~~~~~~~~

McDonalds sounds good for lunch. Or dinner. Or both. I guess it's just a snack.

I dropped the envelope at my manager's office and picked up the script at Paramount Studios.

I started looking over the script while on my way to McDonalds.

In this show called "See Dad Run", I would be playing a bad boy named Ricky Adams. I started practicing my lines and going over them in my head like I always did.

I was getting closer to McDonalds happy to see my girl in her shorts and cute shirt. I smiled at the thought that she was finally mine. Good job James, I thought, hard work pays off.

I walked down the sidewalk all perked up smiling at everyone I saw, when suddenly that all changed.

My smile disappeared. My shoulders dropped. My face went dead serious because I saw Tati talking with another guy.

Normally, I wouldn't care. She can talk to who ever she wants; I won't get jealous. I'm not the type who will keep their girlfriends from talking to any other guy, but it bothered me because I recognized that guy from somewhere.

I was puzzled and frozen as I tried to see who the guy was. I knew I had seen him from somewhere, but I couldn't think for some reason because this guy was putting his hands on her.

This was certainly not okay. I was getting jealous by the second. I felt like a volcano just ready to erupt.

I started walking faster towards them ready to beat the shit out of this guy.

Tati hadn't even seen me walking to her, but I bet she would've if they hadn't started kissing.

This broke me. This shattered me. I nearly dropped my scripts. I stopped dead in my tracks unable to move.

My mind was swarmed with all these questions like, was she cheating on me? Who is this guy?

And then I saw him more clearly.

It was Daniel.

So was Tati playing me? Was she doing this all along? Did she really break up with Daniel or was that a lie? Why was she doing this?

I walked over to them and I cleared my throat. Daniel let go of Tati and slowly backed away. I couldn't look at neither of them. Actually I could look at Daniel, but not at Tati.

I could feel her eyes on me like a hawk, but I restricted myself from looking at her.

"Hello," Daniel said holding out his hand.

"Hey," I said shaking his hand.

As much as I didn't want to, I still did it.

What a joke. I feel played. I feel like a dumb loser wasting my time.

"James I got you lunch," Tati said.

How was I supposed to react to this entire situation now? I didn't want to create a scene in the middle of the streets. Paparazzi might show up and start snapping pictures. I didn't want that. But hell, paparazzi might as well have already taken pictures of Tati kissing some other dude.

I can already see the headline, "James' girlfriend caught cheating!" That's just what I would need to top off this day.

I could fake it. Act like I didn't see anything. I myself am an actor. I think I'm just going to do that. I'll see how long it takes for her to tell me what really happened.

"Oh thanks!" I said flashing her a fake smile.

She smiled back slimly and I looked away.

"Did you get your scripts?" she asked.

"Yeah I was going over them just before I got here," I said.

"Awesome. Um are we going home now?" she asked timidly.

I nodded.

She didn't even say bye to Daniel. She just picked up her stuff and started walking.

"Nice to meet you. It's a shame she couldn't introduce you to me," I said to Daniel making sure Tati heard me.

"Oh my name is Daniel," he said.

I glanced over to Tati and found her upset face. I could tell she felt screwed. Her face said it all, but I wasn't going to say anything to her until she decides to tell me.

"Cool, I'm James. Love to stay and chat, but I gotta get going, so see ya," I said walking away with Tati on my right side.

"Alright, bye James. Bye Tati," he said before turning away.

Tati didn't do anything. She ignored him.

It was pretty awkward walking with her. We weren't holding hands. We weren't looking at each other.

And when things couldn't get more awkward, it can.

A girl came up to me. She looked about fifteen.

"Oh my gosh! You're James Maslow right?" she asked.

"Yeah. I'm he," I told her with a smile on my face.

She screamed and I laughed.

"Can I please have your autograph?" she begged.

"Yeah," I said.

Tati was standing next to us just watching with no emotion in her face. She looked like she wanted to go home.

The girl handed me her notebook and a pen.

I signed it and wrote a little message for her.

"Who is that?" she asked in a low voice pointing to Tati.

"Oh… um..." Now what am I going to say? Friend, girlfriend? I don't know. "She's a friend," I finally said.

But then I realized, wrong choice of words.

Tati looked over at me, but quickly looked away. Now she probably thinks I didn't want to be with her, but I did.

"Oh can I have a picture?" the girl asked.

I nodded.

She took the picture and then gave me a tight hug.

"It was nice meeting you!" she said before walking away.

I waved goodbye before Tati and I headed to the car.

We walked in silence. I didn't say anything to her and I could tell, neither did she.

Either way, I was still too disinclined to talk to her. I couldn't confront her of what I saw with out blowing up and causing a fight. I didn't want that.

I wanted to solve this out like civilized people do, calmly and with a purpose.

We drove in silence as I munched on the fries and chicken nuggets.

When we reached the house, I pulled up at the curb. I didn't exactly enter the driveway.

"I have to go somewhere," I said.

Earlier I had gotten a text from my mom that no one is in my house and everyone is back at hers. She also mentioned that everything was clean which made me relieved. It saved me from calling house cleaning.

"Oh all right," she said reaching up to give me a kiss on the lips.

I hardly kissed her back and I think she noticed because when she backed away, she had a very gloomy look on her face.

She got out the car with her stuff and walked through the golden gates to my parent's house.

I put the car on drive and drove off to where ever to clear my mind. I blasted the car with music and just drove.

I was beyond pissed. I felt like I was going to explode anytime soon. I needed to talk to someone.

I called up the guys to meet at Logan's house.

When I got there, they were already there. I walked into the house and threw the doors open.

They were playing their video games.

"Whoa, hey James" Carlos said, his eyes never leaving the TV.

They were playing COD.

"Shit Kendall, why'd you shoot me?" Logan asked. "Oh hey," he then said to me.

"Hey James," Kendall said laughing.

Logan was still starring at me. He paused the game and all the attention was on me.

"What's up?" Kendall asked.

"Nothing," I said walking over to the couch.

They gave me a look that said they knew I was lying. I guess they noticed the bothered look on my face.

I sighed loudly and plopped down on the couch.

"I saw Tati kissing someone else," I said softly looking at the unique patterns of the carpet on the ground.

"What?" Kendall said sounding like he didn't believe it.

"Yeah, she was kissing her ex and—" I began.

"Whoa that douche is still here?" Kendall asked in disbelief.

"Yeah," I said.

Kendall rolled his eyes and threw his controller on the couch. He shook his head.

He's not the only one who's upset, I thought.

"And she hasn't said anything about him or anything that happened to me. She's keeping quiet and I don't know what I should do. I love her. I don't want to lose her but I also don't want a relationship without trust," I finished explaining.

"I say you should talk about it with her. Like mention it, but don't say it in a crappy mood either. Like don't let her know you're upset at her," Carlos suggested.

"I don't know. I was kind of waiting for her to tell me," I said.

"Well you're also not confronting her about it," Logan said. "If you want her to tell you then you need to talk to her about it. If it's really bugging you and you want to know the truth, then ask her about it. Don't keep quiet yourself. You're just hurting yourself as well."

"Yeah because you want to know the truth as well right?" Kendall pointed out.

I shook my head unsure what I should do. They had good points. Maybe I should ask her about him and what happened. What if I'm misunderstanding everything and jumping to conclusions? I don't know. I'd have to ask her.

"Thanks guys," I said.

"No problem," they all said in unison before Logan un-paused the game and continued playing.

I grabbed the other controller and when their match was over, they added me and I played with them well into the night. We ate pizza and I drank a few beers before I decided to head back home.

Maybe not a few beers, more like ten beers. Hey, it still is my birthday week. What the hell? My mind was foggy and I could barely think straight. All I remembered was Tati and Daniel kissing. That scene was glued to my mind and it got me upset.

I checked my phone and had no texts or calls.

Whatever. I didn't care.

I drove back home. Thankfully there were no police around because I know I didn't drive well.

I got home and went straight to my room ready to just crash on my bed and forget this day ever existed, but as soon as I opened the door, I found Tati lying in my bed staring at the ceiling.

My heart skipped a beat and I felt like lying next to her and holding her in my arms, but then anger just rose within me.

She heard me open the door and immediately stood up.

"Where were you?" she asked worried.

"Out," I said sloppily reaching down to the charger to charge my phone.

"Where?"

"None of your business." I mumbled with a roll of my eyes.

"James," she began but I cut her off.

"Why don't you tell me why you were kissing Daniel and didn't say anything?" I blurted.

Her face went blank, like she didn't know what to possibly say to that.

I stood there wobbly and rolled my eyes again. "You don't want to tell me do you," I said. "Well you don't need to because I saw everything."

"James I can explain everything, just give me the chance too," she pleaded walking up to me.

"Was that your way of cheating on me?" I asked.

We were face to face and I couldn't look at her.

"I would never."

"But you did!" I yelled again.

"James no! You know me better! You know me better than to not do that! You know I wouldn't do that in the world, especially to you. I'm not that type of person. I wouldn't hurt you," she yelled pounding on my chest.

I looked everywhere but at her. I couldn't listen to her and process what she was saying. Not right now at least while I was drunk.

Why were we fighting? Why was I so drunk to act this stupid?

I need to stop yelling at her, but I don't know why I can't. I guess I'm just still so pissed about what happened earlier.

Every time I see her, I see Daniel kissing her.

"Don't be mad at me James," she said with her hands placed on my chest.

"Out. Get out of my room," I said finally having enough.

I just needed time to myself.

"I didn't finish explaining," she said tears falling down her face.

I almost felt bad. Almost. But I didn't. I was still infuriated.

I grabbed her arm violently and dragged her out of my room.

What was I doing, I asked myself. I never yelled at Tati. I never grabbed her so forcefully either. I never even laid a finger on her, but I was out of control this time.

"I don't want to hear your shit!" I said pushing her out.

She was standing outside of my room with tears falling down her face and clutching the very spot I had grabbed her.

"J-James," she tried again wiping the streaming tears away.

"Shut up," I said slamming the door in her face.

I heard her crying outside.

I was too mad to think correctly.

"James please let me in," she begged from outside shaking the doorknob.

"Leave! Go back to New York! I don't want you here. You followed what every New York bitch would ever do; cheat. Your boyfriend taught you well didn't he?" I said. "You played me like a fool! Just go!" I yelled banging on the door not caring if my parents or hers heard us. "Go!" I yelled once more.

I heard her run to her room and close her door.

Clearly I wasn't doing what the guys told me to do. I completely ruined it. It probably wasn't a big deal, but I was drunk, somehow I couldn't think. Normally, people would say she ruined it, but I would say I ruined it.

I was out of control. I threw the pillows off my bed and grabbed the sheets. I threw them forcefully at the wall. My room was becoming a mess with all my clothes hanging out of the drawers and colognes and hair products all over the floor.

I myself was a mess. I was beyond angry.

I was losing the one girl I loved my entire life. I didn't even give her the chance to explain. I just blurted all my feelings out. Big mistake.

I felt like shit for treating her so terribly. She probably hates me now. I screwed everything up.

Tati's Point of View

~~~~~~~~O~~~~~~~~

I can't believe James said all those words to me. It hurt me. He didn't even give me a chance to explain anything to him. He just blurted out all his feelings.

Maybe he's right. Maybe I should just go. I complicated his life. We should've never stopped dating in the first place. And to think, that all started yesterday.

Why did Daniel ruin everything? Why did he kiss me? Why did he make moves on me when I clearly told him to get off me?

I guess from James' point of view, it looked differently. But I loved James; I would never cheat on him. He should know that.

I rubbed the spot on my arm were he dug his fingers into. It hurt a lot and I whimpered in pain.

I cried out all the pain I was feeling inside. I was heartbroken because James was accusing me of cheating on him. But I didn't.

Earlier, this is what happened. Daniel was getting touchy with me and I told him to stop.

I tried to push him away, but the next thing he did was, grab my face and pull me in. I wanted him to stop, but he was too strong to push away.

When he finally released me, I was in utter shock. And then James was standing there and I knew he saw everything.

He seemed tense by the way he was standing. I wasn't sure if I should tell him or not. He didn't ask, so I would assume I'd bring it up when we were calmer because I knew he wasn't too content at that moment.

When I kissed him in the car, he didn't do anything. Almost like he didn't want me to kiss him. I wouldn't blame him.

He said he was going somewhere and I didn't even ask him where he was going. I was guessing we needed time to ourselves to simply think about everything.

He was drunk tonight, I know it because his breath reeked of beer and his words were slurred. Maybe that's why he lost control.

Everything was a mess.

I lifted up my sleeve to reveal a very red arm with a large bruise forming. I tried touching it, but I could barely handle the pain.

I cried myself to sleep for the second time in California.

The next day I woke up around nine in the morning, another day, but this time with out James.

I combed my hair and brushed my teeth before walking out of my room.

I looked over to James' room and found his door shut. I felt like crying again, but I held it in. I had to be strong on my own now.

I walked downstairs to the kitchen.

"Morning sweetheart!" my dad said.

"Morning," I said forcing a smile.

"Hey mom," I said giving her a hug.

"Morning," I said to James' mom and dad each giving them hugs.

They were all sitting at the table eating bacon and eggs.

I felt lost with out James by my side. He was my puzzle piece. I needed him to feel complete. I was loosing him for the second time.

I grabbed a piece of bacon and chewed on it. It tasted extremely good.

"Hey honey, can you wake James up and tell him to come down stairs please?" his mom asked.

I nodded and headed back upstairs.

What I wanted to do was run away from here and scream. I didn't want to see James.

I dreaded opening his door because it felt weird. We had just fought and I don't even know where we stand. This is probably the first serious fight we have ever had.

When I reached his door, it opened before I could place my hand on the doorknob. He was in jeans and a blue shirt.

I didn't know what to say, whether I should say good morning or begin with an 'I'm sorry'. I was tongue-tied. So instead, I said what his mom told me to tell him.

"Your mom is looking for you," I mumbled.

I had the urge to just fall into his arms and kiss his soft lips over and over again and never let go. I wanted to hug him and make him see and feel how sorry I am, but I couldn't because he looked at me like I was a stranger.

He had his head tossed back like he didn't care and his eyes were open in irritation of his view.
I didn't even recognize this side of him.

"What?" he asked looking down at me like I was some worthless piece of trash. He never looked at me that way. It was new, and I hated it.

I cleared my throat, "Your mom is looking for you," I said.

His face revealed no expression so it was hard to figure out what he was thinking.

I took one last look at him before I turned away from him and walked back downstairs.

My heart was beating ten times faster than ever because I knew he was behind me.

We reached the kitchen and everyone was still there. There were two empty chairs next to each other, which made me agitated because I knew he didn't want to be near me at this moment.

I kind of didn't want to be next to him either.

We all ate together as a family, but this time it was different. There was an eerie tension between James and I.

I could tell our parents sensed something because they all got up.

"We're going out," his mom said.

"Okay see you guys later," I said.

They walked out leaving James and I together.

The tension increased greatly with James and I together alone.

My breathing was growing abnormal. I didn't know what to expect. It was like watching PKs of a very intense soccer game. I didn't know what was going to happen next.

I needed to get out of here. This was all too much for me. I needed air.

I pushed my chair back and got up. I walked to the sink and washed my plate and utensils quickly before I walked outside to enjoy the LA morning heat and just let my thoughts roam free.

I left James alone and I didn't care.

I just needed to think.

Questions like, Does this mean that James and I are still together? Or does it mean that we're over? Why had I ruined everything? When were we going to talk again? Where we ever going to be the same?

I stayed outside for a good hour sitting on the deck chair when I decided to go inside. It was way too hot. I found James on the couch with his feet elevated on the coffee table. He was drinking soda.

We both made eye contact, but that was all. I looked away and headed up stairs.

I knew I would just be trapped in this house all day. The parents were out, asking James to take me somewhere meant talking to him and I wasn't ready to do that. So I watched TV in my room and ended up falling asleep.

When I woke up, I could hear our parents moving around downstairs. It was around three in the afternoon.

I got up and walked down stairs. I saw the two dads watching football like always, and then I heard my mom talk.

"I thought they were dating."

And that's how I knew they were talking about James and I.

I stood right outside of the kitchen entrance eaves dropping on their conversation.

"I thought that too, but this morning, they didn't really do anything," James' mom said.

I sighed. If only they knew.

"Right, and I'm not sure, but did you hear yelling last night. I think they might've been fighting," my mom said.

"Yes I heard it. I was going to see what it was all about but I decided not to get into their mess," his mom said.

"True. They're old enough to take care of themselves and fix their problems."

I heard the front door open and I immediately turned around to see James walking in through the front door.

He was carrying grocery bags. Maybe his mom told him to go shopping.

This time, he didn't look at me. Nothing. But he knew I was there, he just forced himself to look straight.

He walked by me as if I wasn't even there. As if I were a ghost. As if I had disappeared into thin air. As if I never existed to him.

He made me feel like I was nothing, like I was worthless, and that hurt me inside. A lot.

"Oh hey James!" my mom said.

"Hey," he said.

I waited five minutes before I walked in the kitchen.

I felt awkward walking in the kitchen because all eyes were on me, minus James'.

I walked to the refrigerator to pull out a juice pouch of Caprison. I threw away the plastic covering of the straw and began to drink it.

"Hey," I said walking over to the table where they were discussing about me.

"Hey sweet heart," James' mom said.

James was sitting on the counter top eating an apple starring into the distance.

If he was going to make me feel invisible, then fine. Two can play this game.

Just then my mother gasped lifting up my sleeve revealing the purple-greenish bruise on my arm.

"What happened?" she asked examining the finger marks.

"Nothing. I was swimming and I banged into the sides. Nothing big," I lied.

I didn't want them to know what happened last night. And I didn't want to give James in.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see James looking at me. He probably knew it was a lie and realized it was him who did it.

"That is a really ugly wound," James' mom said. "James, can you ice her arm?" she then asked.

I got butterflies in my stomach and I could feel myself blushing.

I didn't want to be alone with James. Not right now. It would be weird and awkward.

"Yeah," he said.

He hopped off the counter top and threw his apple away in the trash.

"Come on," he said to me.

I got up and followed him to the garage where the icepack was.

"Where's the bruise?" he asked.

I gave him my arm and he took it gently this time and placed the icepack on it.

I flinched at first because it hurt with the slightest touch.

He looked up quickly and for the first time, he looked like he felt sorry. For what? That, I'm not sure of.

"Sorry," he said.

I wasn't sure whether the apology was for the pain or for the actual bruise itself.

He held it against my arm for ten minutes. Ten minutes of the incessant breathing of our bodies. Ten minutes of being so close to each other but not being able to do anything. Ten minutes of silence and still I felt connected to him somehow.

When he was done, he put everything away. He didn't look back when he walked out.

I sighed and stayed put unsure of what to do.

I closed my eyes and wondered where did everything go wrong? We were once so strong, loving each other. Now I feel distanced from James. Like we were two new people. Or like two strangers who didn't know each other at all.

What happened to being two peas in a pod?

What happened to having each other's back?

What happened to forever?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~O~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One week later and we haven't talked. We haven't even seen each other.

I decided if James truly loved me, then he would come to me. I wouldn't be wasting my time, moping around, waiting for him.

I hung out with my parents and his parents for the most part that week. We went sightseeing most of the time and we shopped for a lot clothes.

It was all too fun, but everywhere I went, I couldn't help but to remember about James. I couldn't help but to have flashbacks of the good times we had such as the first few days I came here, when we watched the stars in San Fran. Or went to Hollywood. It was exciting, but that's in the past now. I have to live in the present.

James hasn't been around the house anymore. I would assume because of his script and filming and everything.

I heard from his mom that he chose to begin filming this week instead, probably to get his mind off things, me in particular.

I wondered, does he still think of me? Does he love me? Or did he forget about me? Am I a "nobody" in his life?

I sighed and tried to clear my mind from all this hopeful and negative thoughts.

We were slowly drifting away becoming total strangers in each other's lives just like what happened eight years ago. And I didn't like it.

It felt too much of a repeat.