Danny stood staring at the door. With a deep breath he knocked softly. He waited but didn't hear anything. The door wasn't shut completely and it had opened slightly when he knocked. He pushed it wider and looked into the room. He could see Mia sitting on the edge of the bed. She'd shaken her long hair out and it fell around her shoulders like a shawl hiding her face from him. Cautiously, he slipped into the room and pushed the door shut. He looked at her in the soft light from the bedside lamp. His hands were shaking and he was surprised his knees were still holding him up. Relax and breathe stupid! He half laughed at himself. Hesitantly he walked up to her, his thoughts whirling in his head. Should he say something? Would she turn on him again? He was sure his heart would burst out of his chest it was pounding so hard.
Mia sat, her head down, hugging herself, her own heart beating in her throat. She dared not look at him, fearing she'd loose her last scrap of self control. She could see his shoes as he stood in front of her. With a trembling hand he reached out and touched her hair. It was as long and thick and as beautiful as he remembered it. He fingered it lightly where it fell over her shoulder and brushed it back. He softly brushed her bruised cheek with the back of his hand before he traced the line of her jaw. His touch was soft and gentle but the feel of his fingers against her skin sent tiny electric shivers through her. He lifted her chin, gently raising her face to look at him. Ever so slowly she met his gaze. His head tilted to the side he took in her bruised face. Her eyes met his. Neither of them could speak. They couldn't find the words, not yet.
His emotions were in turmoil, and they all showed in his eyes, anger at the man who'd hurt her, fear that she was waiting to turn on him, regret for leaving her all those years ago, she saw them all and they were mirrored in her own. But this time they both looked long enough, they looked deep enough to see the love that was there as well. He held out his arms, an invitation. She looked at him for a moment before accepting. She stood slowly and he gathered her close to him. She pressed her face into his chest and as she felt his arms wrapping around her she knew, without a doubt, that whatever the rest of the world called him didn't matter. He was, he is and he always would be her Danny.
He held her feeling her shake, knowing she was struggling not to give way to her tears. He nuzzled her hair and stroked her back swaying her gently as if rocking a baby. He looked down at her, "Mia," he said softly, "I am so sorry…" he whispered.
"Don't… please…" she hid her face against him again clinging to him. "Don't spoil it with words."
"Mia, please, we need to talk." he said, focusing on her pain helped him suppress his own. She reluctantly left go of him and went and sat on the bed. She kept her head down, feeling self conscious of the bruising and swelling. She was angry too. This was not how she'd hoped Danny would come back into her life.
She felt him sitting on the bed, "Come here," he said softly, "…you remember, like when we were kids…" She looked over at him. He was sitting back against the pillows and the headboard. "Come here…" he said again.
His words brought fresh tears to her eyes, "The last time we talked like that… it didn't end well" she managed to get out before she wiped her tears away.
The bitterness and pain of her words pierced his heart. "I know, and I am so sorry…" he said, his voice tinged with guilt. "I promise you. I'm not going anywhere… not until you tell me to go away. I'm sorry I left you alone like that."
She could see the affect her words were having on him. He'd always been sensitive she knew. She smiled remembering how he always tried to hide it from the rest of the world behind jokes, teasing and good dose of bravado. "I wasn't completely alone." She reached over and picked the bear up off of the nightstand. "I still had Tonto." She handed him the bear. "But tell me, why did you leave like that? Why didn't you tell me that your parents… that my mom… Agent Johnson said you were in the car…" she was getting angry again, until she looked at him. She could see the pain in his eyes.
He nodded, "I was" he said looking down at the bear. "I woke up in the hospital… but there is something I need to tell you…" he wiped his eyes with his heel of hand. "I should have told you a long time ago… I was so afraid… I thought you'd hate me, you may still…"
"Danny, what could be so bad?" she shifted to sit closer to him. "I thought we were friends… I thought we were… I don't know… more than that somehow…" she looked at him the anger rising again. "Didn't you trust me? There was nothing I wouldn't have done for you… Christ I'd have walked through fire before I hurt you like that…"
"You have no idea how sorry I am… how much I've missed you." He looked down at the bear. "It's my fault… it was all, my fault." She could see his grip tighten on the bear trying to hide the trembling in his hands. "I wanted to come back, to talk to you…"
"Obviously not enough..." She said before she could help herself. She immediately regretted her words. He looked down and away from her, shaking his head. She moved closer to him, she could feel the heat of his body through the thin material of her scrubs. She put her hand lightly over his.
"Danny, I'm sorry, that wasn't fair… you're here now, just talk to me… please…"
He looked up at her she'd never seen his eyes so huge or so filled with pain. "Promise me you won't hate me."
"I could never hate you Danny," she said evenly then she smiled, "I can get really mad at you, but I would never hate you." She drew a breath and flipped her hair over her shoulder. He smiled remembering that gesture. It meant she was getting impatient with him and he remembered just how volatile her temper could be.
"I hope this time is no different…" he drew a breath, "I was in the car… my dad was yelling at my mom… he did that a lot, usually before he'd beat her." He closed his eyes. "I just wanted him to stop… that's all …just to stop so I… I told him to leave her alone… and he did for second… because he was mad at me… he was yelling at me and he stopped paying attention… he lost control and crashed because of me…"
She was sitting quietly, looking down at her hands. "Mia…" he said softly, she looked up at him. "Do you understand what I'm saying?" he asked as he looked into her eyes. "Mia … I made him crash… it's my fault your mom died…" she looked at him the pain and guilt that had haunted him for all of these years so evident in his eyes. Two huge tears ran down his cheeks. "I'm so sorry Mia… I'm so sorry."
She was angry. Her temper peaked higher than it ever had, but not just at Danny. She was mad at his father for being so horrible to him, she was mad at fate for getting between them, she was mad at herself for never getting him to talk about the death of his parents. Now she was mad at him not because he had caused the wreck, but for believing he had for all of these years. She tried to draw a deep breath before she spoke. It hurt and just added to her agony. "Danny… it wasn't your fault!" she reached up and wiped his cheeks, "He was the adult! He was driving! It was not your fault!"
He looked down and shook his head not believing her. "If I'd just kept my mouth shut!"
"Danny" she took his face in her hands, forcing him to look at her. "It was NOT your fault! You were protecting your mom. That was his job! He was supposed to look after you!" She looked deeply into his eyes. "IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!" she said deliberately. "Do you understand?"
"Oh Mia…" he said miserably. She hugged him, he gathered her close and they sat holding tightly to each other gathering strength and silently each letting the other know that they were no longer alone.
Martin had been pacing impatiently downstairs. He'd checked the surveillance set up, made sure all of the other agents were in place and reviewed his notes twice. "Ok I'll order dinner," he thought before taking orders from everyone. Knowing Danny as well as he did he placed the order without consulting him or Amelia. He slipped out the back in into the vacant house next door to wait. When the food arrived he packed the things he'd ordered for Danny and Amelia and carried them upstairs.
He was worried. Knowing how volatile things had been between them on their last two encounters he'd expected to hear some shouting or something. He'd even considered asking Danny to leave his side arm downstairs. The silence was more terrifying than the shouting. He stood outside listening for a moment. He relaxed hearing the muffled sound of conversation. "Well at least she didn't hit him again!" he smiled wryly to himself.
They were still sitting there when Martin tapped on the door. "Come on in." Danny said as he got up, Mia reluctantly letting him go.
"Hey, I thought you two might be hungry." He smiled and held up a brown paper bag. "I ordered you some Moo Shu" he smiled at Danny "and there's some wonton eggdrop" he said to Amelia.
"You remembered!" she smiled at Martin, "you're a star!" Danny looked at her and then to Martin. She saw the look of suspicion and jealousy flash over Danny's face and Martin's subtle blush.
Danny mumbled a quiet thanks to Martin, while Amelia watched him curiously. Danny looked like a schoolboy whose best friend was flirting with a girl he liked. "Why don't you two eat while it's still hot?" Martin set the bag down on the dresser. "We can do the ID later" he nodded to Danny. Amelia was now looking from one to the other confused.
"I'll explain it all to you." Danny said to her. Martin patted him on his shoulder and left them alone quietly closing the door behind him. Sullenly, Danny unpacked the Chinese food, happy for a momentary distraction. He turned around with a carton in each hand startled to find Amelia had quietly slipped off of the bed and was standing immediately behind him. "Hello" he grinned. She was looking up at him. "What?" he giggled nervously.
"I want you to answer a question." She stepped closer so that he was backed up against the dresser with no where to run. "Why do you get that look on your face whenever I mention Martin's name… or talk to him… or when you hear he stayed with me the other night?"
"What look?" he tried to pretend he didn't know exactly what she meant.
"The same one you used to get whenever Billy Harrison wanted to walk me home." She smiled, as best she could with the swelling and bruising to her face.
"Whatever happened to that little prick?" Danny's brow wrinkled at the memory.
"I don't know. He was too scared to talk to me after you beat him up!" She laughed, "You're not going to do that to Martin are you?"
He laughed as well. "You knew about that?" he blushed as she nodded. "Yeah, well Martin isn't Billy."
"No he isn't. He's a good guy… and Billy was a prick." She took a carton from him with another smile and they sat on the bed to eat their dinner.
"So you like Martin do you?" he asked, stabbing at his food with a plastic fork. She couldn't miss the note of jealousy that still tinged his voice.
"I do. I did the moment I met him at your office. He was the first person to really listen to me. I'd been searching for papi for a week on my own. The police weren't interested in looking for him" She looked Danny squarely in the eye. "…and after …that night, after the… after seeing that man… and then seeing you… Martin stayed, and we talked… all night…" she tried to explain to Danny. "We talked about everything…" he didn't look entirely convinced. "Oh for God's sake Danny, Martin is the only reason I didn't crawl back inside a bottle of Jack after… after…"
"Mia, you don't have to explain, it's ok…" Danny said her. "I'm glad he was there for you… I should have been… and I'm sorry."
"You're here now. That's what matters to me," she said softly, "you're here now." Smiling he nodded and offered her a Shitake mushroom, laughing she let him feed it to her, happy he remembered she loved them. Slowly they ate and talked filling in the missing years for each other with laughter and a few tears.
"Now, Martin said something about an ID." She said as she watched him packing the empty food cartons away. "What does that mean?"
Danny sat down next to her and brushed her hair back. Smiling she closed her eyes and leaned her head into his hand before looking at him. "He's found some suspects that match the description of the guy who attacked you." He said gently, "Do you think you're up looking at some pictures of them. Maybe you could identify one of them?" She was looking nervous, anxiously toying with her hair. "Hey they're just pictures. If you can ID the guy then we can pick him up."
"What about his friends? He said he'd be back with friends and that they'd…" she hugged herself and wouldn't meet his gaze.
"Mia, we will protect you," he tried to reassure her. "I will protect you." He hugged her softly stroking her back.
"Danny," she said against his chest, "would you stay with me?" She looked up at him. "Please?"
"I'm not going anywhere Mia." His kissed her forehead before hugging her again. "Do you want to come downstairs?" he asked her.
"Only, if I can make some coffee." She smiled snuggling closer to him, loving the feel of his arms around her.
"I doubt Martin would complain, he said your coffee was spectacular." Danny chuckled.
"Yours is pretty good too." She sighed.
"When did you have my coffee?" he sat back in surprise.
"The other morning at the office, when Martin first took my dad's case..." She said softly. "He asked me if I wanted coffee, when he brought me a cup he said his partner had made it… that's you… …right?"
"Yeah, it was. I saw you in the office… only from behind, but in my heart… I knew it was you… that scared me, and excited me and… I can't believe you're here…" he was touching her face again, the anger that someone would do that to her clear in his eyes.
"Danny, I need to know something." She sat up and looked at him, searching his face. "If my father hadn't gone missing, would you ever have come looking for me?" She couldn't miss the pain and guilt in his eyes. "I tried to find you so many times… I never thought you'd change your name." He still didn't answer her. "Would you have come looking for me?" she pressed him.
Before he could answer Martin knocked again, "Sorry, I was just wondering if you were ready to try that ID now?" He asked from the doorway. He could see that they were in the middle of something.
"Sure" Amelia said looking at Danny before turning to Marin with a smile. "Would you like me to make some coffee?" she asked him.
"That would be fantastic." Martin smiled. "I'll meet you downstairs." He stepped out again.
"Well, let's get this over with." Amelia stood up to follow him.
Danny caught her hand. "I did look for you. I found you not long after I joined the FBI." He said quietly. "I drove by your apartment a few times. I watched you to make sure you were safe …that you were happy."
"You watched me… why didn't you come to see me?" she asked him. He hung his head. He didn't have to say the words she understood. "Oh Danny," She hugged him and stroked his hair. He slipped his arms around her and swore he'd never let her go again.