Flashforward seven months...

Kara remembered... It hadn't taken long until the calm before the storm subsided, events unfolding in sweet succession all due to one unsuspecting 'casual office Monday' at the DEO. Like dominoes falling fate and destiny collided setting in stone a string of catastrophes, that not anyone of them could've prevented. Upon reflection Kara had come to learn that it was already too late to stop it ... everything was far beyond repairing... the damage had been inflicted...

Thinking back she should've done it herself and sooner or not gone near her at all, because their relationship was something special, those desperate seven months contained some of the best and absolute worst moments in her life... She only wished she could fly fast enough to spin the earth and turn back time, maybe create her own version of what she considers sublime. A blank space in history where just her and Lena could hide... wrapped up together under a mountain of white blankets, hair splayed laughing... naked arms clasped together all wonderous, serene and divine... back when the world wasn't hurting.

A reality were she wasn't so so selfish, wasn't so reckless or such a cowardly bastard ... she shouldn't have been so foolish and maybe then they could've stopped it...

Too many innocent civilians had died, so many bodies buried ... now Kara was getting her just desserts having to live in a world built upon a harrowing graveside. She was a prisoner due to earths eternal sunlight- her own immortal flesh, she'll probably live for centuries knowing that if they'd only crossed a few very different strategic lines and stopped fucking lying then maybe at least half of them could've bloody survived.

But thats the thing isn't it? ... looking back after the fact with such clarity, like your suddenly engrossed in stark daylight seeing connections that you were originally analysing blind.

Just look at WW2... how a handful of events set things into motion, battles that ultimately claimed and wiped a whole generation from the planet…. stopped kids from growing older, from living their lives or having a family.

Now maybe that's a bad comparison, because things here were uniquely different. Lex Luthor… in his own right hate filled and xenophobic, he did condemn the whole human race, essentially making them his own twisted brand of 'Aryans'.

Because Aliens to him weren't like any other, we weren't the equivalent of human kind... he wanted us out and forced our hand. He then proceeded to commit genocide… all because he was out of his retched sickening mind.

Now the whole world stood at a stand still, writing those torrid events down on parchment… staring at Kara on a television set as she carried the caskets of her friends all those battle companions head held down in torment, walking through the remnants of a torn up National City.

Stars and Stripes flying, flickering in the wind… flags then folded as president Marsdin spoke humourlessly. Animated and full of condolences Kara didn't hear a word… fully engrossed in her own hurt filled memories of the thousands she'd held bloodied as fire roared to life around them. She can still hear the screaming and agonised shouting… it was scorched into her mind and it will continue throughout time. It didn't stop until the lockdown was lifted but by then it was almost over… the dead were all but bones … among the rats, rubble, pipes and stray forgotten clothes.

A specific memory caught her attention- one where she and Alex both stood in unison, at dusk as ashes floated falling, along their heavy hearted shoulders. Like a new variety of snowflake one only made on a night rife with violence under the shadow of radical tyranny.

Perched in silence atop a red hooded car metal groaning as they watched flashes peaking against a smouldering skyline…. Thunderous booms cracking as the war raged on. Kara looked down to a pretty muddied doll clasped in her right palm and sighed picking at its stray soft cotton tresses "Do you think we could've saved them … if we'd found out about it sooner? If I was more proactive in finding Lex instead of protecting Lena?"

Looking forward, not daring to look at her sister… Alex shifted before opening her mouth that lately had stayed persistently stuck into a thin flaky line "I think… I think what happened would've happened anyway…

…there's so many if's and maybe's we could use to torment ourselves…

...what if we'd held him at a securer prison?

...what if Clark had killed him when he'd had the chance? … and its pointless" shifting she slapped her arms to her side

…"it's all so pointless!"

At that Kara squished into her further until her head was buried against the crux of Alex's shoulder, the smell of burnt rubber, gun powder and something uniquely her sister placating the moment. Moving an arm over the extraterrestrial fabric of her cape Alex squeezed them closer until they found solace in each other, cosied surrounded by an orange glow that curled against the backdrop of a desolate long forgotten place in space time.

Snapping back to the dreary cold cemetery staring forward... black shiny coffins surrounding them, stood two sisters.. both sets of eyes connecting, Alex looked so dejected her light was gone… stamped out.

…so much had changed since that night… and even then it was bad... things they'd never even expected. The danvers sisters were lost, a part of them still remained in what they'd found they'd only just narrowly escaped… stolen away along with certain members of the super family whose deaths lacked honour… meaning… due to no other reason than them not being among the ones that where fleeing.

They'd stayed… and in their own right they were heroes.. but for Kara their candles burnt out too quickly, they could've had long lives with familes but instead they where extinguished for nothing other than Kara merely existing… maybe if Kal and I died with the rest of my family… they'd have been spared this chaos.

Broken from her thoughts her sight line drifted… to Cat Grant dressed in black. She'd surprised Kara, returned when they needed her… abandonment issues aside they where closer now more than ever, she was treated like a mother figure. They'd all lost people.. Cat was certainly no exception and this was her city too as much as Kara had hated it when she'd left originally.. none of that mattered now.

Kara needed to immerse herself in the few people she loved and had left... try and move forward instead of being stuck on all that loss and depression. Figure out who the hell she was ... because she wasn't sure anymore that she was still Kara Zor-El...