A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter! Enjoy the update :)

Disclaimer: Same as usual.

Chapter 11 – Me and You

April cried into her pillow. She felt pathetic and weak but she didn't care. She had to cry about this. She needed to cry about this. She didn't even know that it was possible to feel this way about someone. It was devastating enough that she had just broken up with the man she was in love with but she may have just lost her best friend as well. She ached to talk to her best friend right now and it made her cry even harder. He had always been there for her.

For some reason, the only thing that she could hear in her head was his voice saying, "Me and you." He had said it in San Francisco. He had said it recently when they were talking about their fellowships. It was a phrase he used frequently. It was the phrase that had cemented their bond after the shooting.

"Are you okay?"

The voice behind her startled her and her heart hammered in her chest. She turned around and smiled weakly at her friend. "Jackson, you scared me."

"I'm sorry," he apologized as he awkwardly slipped his hands into his pockets. He looked around the residents' locker room and felt slightly out of sorts to be in a suit. His eyes found April again, standing in front of Reed's locker in her conservative black dress.

They had just left Reed's funeral and he had followed her to make sure that she got home okay, but she had taken a detour to Seattle Grace Mercy West Hospital. He knew that the funeral had been really hard on her and he was surprised to find her here of all places.

"What are you doing?" He asked softly.

"I'm getting Reed's things for her parents. They can't…they can't come in here…so I said I would…"

"Here, let me help." He moved to stand beside her and began to take things out of Reed's locker and place them in the bag that April had brought.

He watched her hands shake before she began to openly sob. He swiftly pulled her into his arms and began to stroke her hair. He had been waiting for her to cry like this. She had been a source of support for Reed's parents since they had come to town and she had not had a chance to grieve since the day of the shooting. She had been the one to find Reed in that supply closet. She felt responsible for Shepherd being shot. Yang had told him the story of how she had talked the shooter out of killing her. He had used brains and quick thinking; April had poured her heart out. She was a lot stronger than people thought she was but she needed to cry now and he was willing to let her do so in his arms.

"It's okay. It's okay," he repeated in soft, soothing tones. "We're going to be okay."

She fisted her hands in the back of his suit jacket and cried even harder into his chest. "I can't believe they're gone."

"Me either."

Charles and Reed were gone. They were still here. It was hard to feel happy about being alive when their best friends were dead. Survivor's guilt, they called it.

They had buried them and it all still seemed like some crazy dream. They were all each other had now and he knew that their bond from Mercy West would be unbreakable now.

"We're going to get through this," he whispered. "Me and you."

Jackson tossed and turned in his bed. He knew that sleep was impossible, her smell surrounded him yet he was alone. They were done. It didn't seem real. He had finally felt like everything in his life was perfectly in place and then their careers had to go and ruin it. One of the reasons that he had broken up with Lexie was for his career but this was entirely different. He knew that the girl in the room next door loved him and broke up with him so that he had no choice but to go to Tulane.

He still didn't like the idea of her working at Mass Gen and she was right, he should at least be able to be a little supportive.

They had both said things that they didn't mean and he wished that he could take it all back. It wasn't the first time that he had wished for that in regards to her.

"Come in!"

Jackson turned the doorknob and stepped into April's bedroom. She was reading on her bed in a set of flannel pyjamas and she seemed very surprised to see him.

"Hey Jackson."

He shifted his feet nervously and stared at the floor.

"Um Jackson?" She called. "Why are you here?"

"I want to apologize," he replied as he sat down on the edge of her bed.

"For what?" She asked in confusion.

"For picking on you like the others," he clarified. He truly felt like a terrible person, a terrible friend. He was no better than Karev. "There's nothing wrong with being a virgin. Absolutely no shame."

"Uh, okay. Thank you." She closed the book in front of her and met his gaze. "And I'm sorry for telling everyone about your nightmares. That's personal."

He shook his head. "That's not nearly as bad as what I did to you." He had been more surprised by the fact that she heard him having nightmares than anything else and yes, he had been a little embarrassed but what he had done to her was so much worse. "It's smart to wait," he added. "To be sure that you're not rushing anything—"

She put her hand up to signal for him to stop talking. Her face was flushed and she looked at everything in the room except for him. "We really don't have to talk about this. In fact," she laughed awkwardly, "I'd prefer if we didn't."

"Okay," he nodded. "I understand." He slowly got to his feet. "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for acting like a jerk."

She finally smiled at him. "Thank you Jackson."

She remembered the first time that she realized how much he cared about her and how much she truly cared about him. He was always the first one to defend her in any situation but the night of Cristina and Owen's housewarming party had changed everything. It was the night that she had started to fall for him.

Jackson sat at the island in Meredith and Derek's kitchen and drank from his beer as she found an ice pack in the refrigerator. Lexie had already iced his hand at the party but it was still swelling.

"You could have really hurt your hand," she chastised as she placed the ice pack on his bruised knuckles. "Or gotten fired."

He winced but covered it by taking another sip from his bottle of beer. "It was worth it. That guy is an ass."

He had been feeling useless lately, like less of a doctor. Today, he had lost a patient and yelled at Bailey. He had already had one too many shots of alcohol when April arrived and hearing what had happened to her had just sent him over the edge. He had gotten a lot of satisfaction from repeatedly punching Alex Karev in the face.

"If I had known that you were going to have such a violent reaction I wouldn't have told you," she told him honestly.

"Why?" He asked in annoyance. "You don't still think he's a good guy do you?" She opened her mouth to argue but he didn't give her a chance. So he was good in peds, that didn't make him a nice guy. "Come on April. He doesn't deserve you. You are way too good for him."

She avoided his gaze and repositioned the ice pack on his hand. "Luckily nothing's broken," she murmured.

"April, look at me," he demanded.

She sighed and tried to appear irritated when she finally made eye contact with him. "Please don't say I told you so."

He ignored her. "You are way too good for him," he restated firmly. "You are smart, and kind, and beautiful." He drank the last drop of his beer before he stood up and wrapped one arm around her shoulders to pull her body into his. "And I'll gladly beat the crap out of any guy that doesn't treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Okay?"

"Okay," she chuckled.

He kissed her on the top of the head before he let her go. He placed the ice pack back in the refrigerator. "Forget about Karev," he told her before he turned around.

"Jackson, wait!" She called out to him before he had a chance to leave the kitchen.

He quickly spun back around. "Yeah?"

"Thank you," she said softly.

"Anytime," he grinned.

When she was left alone in the kitchen, she smiled to herself. She was so lucky to have Jackson in her life. He was the only guy that she had ever trusted unconditionally. Nobody had ever punched someone over her, it was strangely gratifying. It was nice to know that someone cared about her that much. It was nice to know that Jackson cared about her that much.

He remembered the first time that he had thought about her as more than just a friend. It had totally freaked him out.

He had started to think about her…inappropriately…and it just so happened to coincide with the time that they were studying for their Boards so he had a good distraction. But he knew that was why he'd had such a hard time resisting her advances in San Francisco, those thoughts and feelings had already been present on his end. He just hadn't known that she felt the same way about him. She had never given him any indication.

"Dude, I wouldn't go in there," Karev warned as Jackson headed for the kitchen.

"Why? What's going on?" Jackson asked confused.

"She's PMS-ing big time. I'm going to Joe's, you should come."

"No, that's okay. You go. I'm going to try to figure out what's wrong."

Karev looked at him like he was crazy and promptly grabbed his jacket and keys.

Jackson took a deep breath before he walked into the kitchen and found April cleaning the top of the stove. It was always a bad sign when she took on a serious cleaning project this late at night.

"Hey April."

"Hi Jackson."

She replied to him cheerily enough but she was cleaning with much more force than necessary. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail and he could see that her cheeks were flushed from exertion.

"What did the stove do to you?" He joked. She turned her head to glare at him and he stopped laughing immediately. "Um okay." He scratched his chin awkwardly as he took a step towards her. "Did you have a bad day?" He asked quietly.

"Nope. I didn't have a bad day," she answered sharply.

"Then what's going on?"

She dropped the scrub pad that she was using and turned to him. She angrily blew her bangs out of her face before she said something that completely shocked him.

"Mark Sloan asked me to have sex with you today."

"He what?" Jackson wasn't sure which emotion to settle on. He was confused, stunned, and angry. Definitely angry. He was going to kill Sloan. Sloan meddled in his life almost as much as his mother.

"Well, he didn't actually ask," she continued heatedly. "He more or less suggested…no, he encouraged…that we have sex so that we're less stressed out about our Boards."

She returned to viciously scrubbing the stove while he stood in silence. Sloan had tried to set him up twice today but he would have never thought that the man would be bold enough to ask his best friend to be his fuck buddy. He didn't want to date. He didn't want a girlfriend. And it wasn't because he was still in love with Lexie; he just wasn't ready to put himself out there again. But a little voice in the back of his head was telling him that he wouldn't have to do that with April. She already knew him, and knew him well. He trusted April.

"Huh…"

April stopped scrubbing again and quickly rounded on him. "Huh? All you have to say is huh? He told me to take one for the team!"

Jackson quickly snapped out of it and answered her calmly. "I have been a little stressed out lately," he admitted. "And Sloan is Sloan; he thinks that getting laid solves all your problems. I'm sorry he involved you."

She exhaled heavily, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't even be mad at you. I'm just worked up."

He tried his hardest not to mentally turn her phrase into a sexual innuendo but it was impossible with where his mind was at the moment. He closed his eyes and cleared his throat before he asked, "Do you want a beer, maybe?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "Maybe that's a good idea." She tossed her scrub brush in the nearby bucket and removed her cleaning gloves.

Jackson walked towards the refrigerator but turned around and took a moment to watch her as she leaned on the stove, with her back to him, and took a deep breath. His eyes slowly moved over her body and he wasn't proud of it. He knew that she was small but he had never noticed how slender her waist was or how strong her calves looked, or how…

"Shit, those pants are really tight," he muttered to himself.

She looked at him over her shoulder. "Did you say something?"

He shook his head and cleared his throat. "Uh no." He opened the refrigerator door and grabbed two bottles of beer. "She's your friend and she's a virgin," he told himself under his breath. If that dose of reality didn't kill his inappropriate thoughts then nothing would.

The next day…

"Morning Avery," Sloan greeted cheerfully. "How are we feeling today?"

"Not good. We need to talk." Jackson pulled Sloan aside and got right to the point. "If you weren't an attending I would beat the crap out of you."

"Whoa. What did I do?"

Jackson pointed his index finger at him and spoke in a harsh, angry whisper. "You told April to have sex with me!"

"Oh…that…" Sloan at least had the decency to look a little ashamed. "Well, I just figured," he tried to explain, "that I used to sleep with my best friend all the time, most stable relationship I've ever had."

Jackson rolled his eyes. "Well April and I are strictly friends," he declared firmly. "I don't look at her like that." Until very recently, he thought to himself.

"You should," Sloan chuckled. "It's surprisingly good. Nice lips, very kissable. Nice skin. Nice, long hair. Very nice—"

"Okay stop! Just stop!"

Sloan laughed devilishly, "You're looking at her like that now, aren't ya?"

"I am not," Jackson lied fiercely before he stormed away.

Three days later…

Jackson entered his apartment and was surprised to be greeted by a very awake April.

"Hey! Oh you look nice," she smiled at him in his tuxedo. "How was the benefit?"

"I didn't go," he murmured as he walked into the living room and fell back onto the couch.

"Ohh…okay." She sat down next to him and began to chatter excitedly. "I did a surgery with Dr. Sloan today, you'll love it! We…"

He tried to pay attention to what she was saying but it was useless. It had been a bad day. He was upset with his mother for snooping into his life yet again. He had lashed out at April for thinking that she had something to do with it. He had been annoyed by Dr. Mara Keaton for the majority of the day. And then he had gone and slept with Mara, which was supposed to improve his mood but it had the exact opposite effect. Somewhere in the middle of his tryst with Mara, olive skin had turned pale and dark hair had changed to red. He felt like a complete jerk and a really bad friend. He had no idea why he was having these thoughts about April now. It had never been a problem before.

Now, he was sitting on the couch with her and he was watching her lips move but he was unable to process a word she was saying. He smiled and nodded but he was paying attention to the way her eyes lit up and how her hair framed her face. His gaze strayed to her chest and he just couldn't stop staring. She was wearing a simple, v-neck sweater and she had unbelievably perfect breasts. He just wanted to…

And now he felt like a perv.

"Pretty cool, huh?" She finished with a bright smile.

He nodded his head in agreement and smiled back at her. "Yeah, pretty cool."

Jackson was starting to think that maybe they had rushed things. They had rushed things in San Francisco. This was her first serious relationship and it had gone too fast. Maybe they had said I love you too soon, or had sex too often, or didn't talk enough. No, they hadn't rushed things and nothing else had been wrong with them either. He just needed to discover another reason why they were breaking up besides their careers.

They both had a hard time dealing with the end of their relationship when they couldn't stop thinking about how it had begun.

"And if something feels really really good…it can't be bad, right?"

"I…uh…" He wanted to say yes so badly. He had been fantasizing about her for weeks, and the way that she was kissing him now…but she was his best friend. His virginal best friend.

"Jackson. Hey…" His eyes snapped back to hers and they were bright and excited. "It's okay…" She bit down on her bottom lip. "Really…it's okay…"

She barely had the words out of her mouth before they were kissing again and he was wrapping his arms around her waist to carry her into the room. They stumbled inside and he managed to close the door behind him. They didn't even bother to turn on the light. Luckily, the curtains were open and the lights of San Francisco illuminated the room.

At first everything happened so fast that he barely had time to think about anything besides the way her lips felt against his. His sweater and t-shirt, and her shirt and tank top came off in a flurry of movement. Then she unbuckled his belt. She stepped out of his reach and he thought for sure that she was going to tell him that she had changed her mind. Instead, she kicked off her shoes and walked towards the bed. She pulled down the covers and turned to him with a smile.

She was still buzzing with adrenaline and didn't feel nervous at all, not like she had expected to. He seemed more nervous than she did. "What is it?" She asked.

He didn't respond. He stepped out of his sneakers, pulled off his socks, and finished taking his pants off before he stalked towards her. He placed a hand on the small of her back and slowly slid it upward until it tangled in her hair. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he took a moment to really look at her. Her eyes were darker than he had ever seen them, she was flushed, her breathing was uneven, and she was staring back at him with a confidence he didn't even know she had. She was anxious, in a good way, and she wanted him just as much as he wanted her.

He cradled her face and his lips sought hers out hungrily. She fell back onto the bed and she moaned at the pleasant feeling of his body atop of hers.

He pulled away from her mouth to kiss along her jaw and down her neck. One spot in particular seemed to cause a rather pleasant reaction so he lingered there as he felt her short fingernails dig into his shoulders. He was more committed than usual to foreplay because it was her first time. He wanted to make sure that he helped her figure out exactly what she liked. That spot on her neck was a winner. He moved one hand to caress her breast and she gasped at the sensation and locked her legs around his waist. He grinned at her reaction and lifted her into his arms so that he could set her down in the middle of the bed.

April felt hot all over. She had never felt like this before, not even before her time with Alex had turned disastrous. She had never felt so wanton, so out of control. She blamed the adrenaline from fighting that guy and the glass of wine she had with dinner, and the fact that Jackson was so gorgeous that it was hard to be in the same room with him sometimes. His eyes and his smile. His skin. His arms. His chest. His mouth and his hands were doing wonderful things to her body, and she desperately wanted another barrier between them to be removed.

While his tongue slowly explored her mouth, she reached between them and unbuttoned her jeans. His right hand caught hers and helped her tug down the zipper. He slid down her body, planting kisses along the way, and pulled her jeans off of her legs.

Her panties were white cotton and they matched her bra. Simple. Practical. Very April. And they reminded him of how innocent she was and he felt a tad uneasy. However, it was in that moment that she pulled him back up for a passionate kiss and rolled them over so that he was lying underneath her. Whatever he was thinking disappeared when she seductively moved her lower body against his erection.

He groaned into her mouth, "April." She smiled against his lips and did it again. She knew exactly what she was doing to him.

One of his hands latched onto her backside while the other deftly unclasped her bra. She pulled the straps down and tossed the garment aside without breaking their kiss. He felt her breasts against his chest, skin on skin, and he shuddered. He had been thinking about his best friend's chest way too frequently as of late. He flipped her onto her back and dropped his mouth down to her collarbone. He laid a hand on her thigh and slowly inched it higher.

He looked up at her and whispered tentatively. "Have you…has anyone ever…?"

She shook her head and he was unsurprised by her answer. She smiled at him and he took that as permission to discard her last remaining article of clothing.

She tilted her head back on the pillow and marvelled at his touch as she tried to regulate her breathing. His fingers were confident yet gentle as he probed her center. She squirmed beneath him when his thumb increased pressure on her bundle of nerves. His lips were preoccupied with her breast, and even though that felt beyond amazing, she really needed to kiss him. She placed both of her hands on the sides of his face and roughly guided his mouth back to hers.

She sucked on his bottom lip and whimpered. "Jackson…please…" She had no idea what she was begging for but she knew that he held the key.

Jackson brushed her hair out of her face with his free hand and lightly touched his lips to hers. "Relax. Don't fight it." She was incredibly sensitive and responsive and it wouldn't be much longer before…

She cried out his name as her body tightened and her back arched. Waves of pleasure swept over her and it was abundantly clear that she had never felt anything like that before either. Not even close.

Jackson just watched her as she came down from the high of her first orgasm. He slowly eased his fingers out of her and massaged her hip. She was beautiful, and she had absolutely no idea. He had never felt so satisfied and content after giving a woman pleasure, and he knew that if she told him that she didn't want to go through with it and have sex with him, he'd be okay. He would be disappointed, but he would be okay. He just wanted her to be happy.

He was brought out of his thoughts when she kissed him again. Her hands moved from his shoulders, down over his chest, and settled on the waistband of his boxer briefs. She pushed them down over his hips without any hesitation. He didn't even have time to ask if she was sure.

"I wanna be on top," she told him boldly.

He grinned at her. She continued to surprise him. He kissed her again before he hopped off of the bed. He kicked off his boxers and found his jeans on the floor. He retrieved the condom that he kept in his wallet, just in case, and quickly rejoined her underneath the sheets of the bed.

April couldn't help but stare at him as he moved around the room. His penis was just as perfect as the rest of him. When he was lying beside her again, she took a few minutes to kiss him a little more and run her hand along his length before she climbed on top of him. She took a deep, calming breath as she gradually encircled him.

Jackson watched her face carefully as she closed her eyes and grimaced at the discomfort she felt when he was fully inside her. He carefully sat up and cupped the back of her skull as his lips found the spot on her neck that he had discovered earlier. He hated that she was in any form of pain. "Take a deep breath," he told her caringly. "And just wait a second, its going to feel really good soon. I promise." It already felt incredible for him. He fit perfectly inside of her.

She took another deep breath, as he suggested, before she kissed him quite assertively. Her lips were urgent and enthusiastic and he fully returned her desire. She experimentally swivelled her hips and he smiled into the kiss. He fell back onto the mattress and placed his hands firmly on her hips to help guide her movements.

He gazed up at her and his breath caught in his throat. One of her hands was on his stomach but the other was tangled in her messy, auburn hair. Her mouth was slightly apart and her eyes were wide, full of lust and awe. She was gorgeous, stunning, and sexy as hell, and he wondered why they hadn't done this sooner.

God, he was such an idiot.

Jackson had no idea if this would be a one time thing or not, but the image of her moving above him would be burned in his mind for a very long time.

April could only explain the moments that followed as life altering. In the aftershocks of their orgasms, she had a startling moment of clarity. She finally felt free from everything that ever held her back as a doctor, and a woman. It was liberating.

He pulled the bed sheet up to cover them and she kissed him one last time to express how much she cared about him and how thankful she was to have him in her life. They shared a smile and she rolled onto the other side of the bed.

Jackson panted and waited for her to react first. He was sort of speechless and his only thought was that he wanted to do it again. Then he smiled when he heard her breathless laughter.

"Okay," he began shakily. "That was really great…"

A/N: Hope you enjoyed this special edition flashback chapter! Leave me your thoughts! :)