(Who SHAW! I'm back baby! *Fist pumps* And you know it! Yeah I know I've been gone for a while but hey its that time a year again, ya know when suicide rates go up. Yeah thats right school. But any who the whole point is I'm a better writer now but my brain isn't as high as much as it used to be. So if I'm a bit off swing from my usual hilarious self just give me a bit and I'll be back in full swing and no time. Thank you all who waited patiently for me *Blows kisses* I will repay you for your kindness! XD)

RANDOMNESS! Chapter 11!: Dear god! Anything but that!

"Boyd!" Wesker yelled looking around outside and on the beach to find no sign of me. "Where did that annoying girl go?" He questioned himself as if it would make any difference as he looked around in the night. I had been missing for a total of 3 hours now and it was past midnight. "?" Wesker then caught sight of a form and the porch swing. He walked around the corner of the beach house to see two blue flames on poles. 'Thats not even physically possible!' Wesker thought walking up to The Merchant.

The Merchant chuckled and opened his coat as Wesker appeared, "Got something that might interest ya." He said showing him something that could not be seen from behind the coat.

Wesker looked disgusted, "Why would I be interested in that?" Wesker asked cocking his head back.

"Its rather big, don't you agree stranger." The Merchant pointed out as Wesker glared at it.

"I've seen bigger." Wesker shrugged not really interested.

"I'll buy it for a high price." The Merchant said wanting to know who had a bigger one then him.

"Ask Mister Drebin." Wesker said sighing as he continued to look around while standing in place.

The Merchant now looked like he was going to cry, "How is that possible, stranger?" He asked his eyes tearing up.

Wesker noticed this and did not want an emotional merchant on his hands, "Its got a good design." He said fake smiling appalling that he had to.

"Really?" The Merchant brightened up now smiling. Wesker nodded and then The Merchant frowned. "Not enough cash! Stranger." This did not make Wesker happy since he did not wish to buy The Merchants 'Laser Cannon'.

"I was not interested in purchasing that item." Wesker said growling crossing his arms at the greedy over priced merchant.

"Hehehehehe, figures." The Merchant laughed then closed his coat.

"Now have you seen Boyd around here?" Wesker finally asked what he had been waiting to ask, The Merchant boring him out of his skull.

"She was kidnapped stranger." The Merchant said catching Wesker's attention making his eyes glow.

"What!" Wesker then grabbed The Merchant's collar and The Merchant raised his hands in surrender.

"Easy stranger. The kidnapers left a note." The Merchant then pulled out a folded piece of paper and handed it to Wesker as he put him down.

Wesker then opened the note and began to read. As he eyed the note and read further his eyes widened behind his shades.

'Dear Albert,

We the Better Villains have taken Miss Boyd and decided to keep her. She will take us back to our world and then we will rule and you will drool.

!

Your friend, Spencer.'

Wesker cursed under his breath as he crumpled the paper back up into his fist and

threw it into the ocean. The Merchant then opened his coat again and chuckled.

"You interested now stranger?" He asked looking up to the glowing eyed Wesker.

Wesker scoffed then rolled his head, "Fine!" Wesker then snatched it from The Merchant and put it on his hand. It was rather big and nicely designed.

"See stranger." The Merchant said smugly and crossed his arms.

"Yes yes yes, it is nice." Wesker said rolling his eyes. After he holstered the 'hand cannon', yes it was the hand cannon. What did you think it was? Perv! Any way after deciding to buy the hand cannon Wesker threw some pesetas at The Merchant and ran back inside to tell the others.

"Christopher!" Wesker came running into the beach house while every one else was making out. Sora with Leon, Valery with Hunk, Mary with Brad, Audrey with Krauser , Jill with Chris, Becca with Billy, Luis with Carlos, Ada with Claire, and ect. Yeah it was a make out party and stuff happens. I wish I was there.

Hearing the sound of Wesker's voice made Chris jump into action with Jill's bikini on his head. "Yes?" Chris ran to stand in front of Wesker saluting him as if they were in STARS again.

"It seems a few of our...old friends have decided to kidnap Boyd. We will began searching for her. We will split up into groups so I suggest every one get out of their drunken haze." Wesker ordered explaining the situation to every one. The only people who did as he said was Krauser and Chris which lead up to the fact of them interrogating The Merchant about where they went. The Merchant telling them that the bad guys went straight to the castle on the side of the cliff that no one noticed till lightning struck. And now the three of them in Wesker's car driving up to said cliff.

'You better be alright Boyd!' Wesker thought grinding his teeth as Krauser and Chris whined about Jamy being hurt or even impaled.

Little did they or any one else but Wesker knew I was infected with his blood, so I'd be okay...no Ivan's needed this time. (Which was donated by Mr. E)

In the castle on the cliff which looked exactly like Spencer Mansion...

I woke up in what looked like a save room. The music was playing, there was herbs, there was a huge box, a typewriter, and my favorite a bed which I woke up BESIDE! God they can't even put me on a freakin bed! Slowly I got up and popped all of the bones in my bed then sat back down on the bed. I was handcuffed and I bet the door was locked. Who in there right mind would want to capture me? Oh yeah thats right the people who aren't in their right mind! Damn!

I mean I just got kidnapped by the rejects of the Resident Evil world. I also life with ALL the other Resident Evil characters. Boy my life is never gonna be the same. Also I'll probably get sucked into the Resident Evil world now that I'm infected. God what bloody luck I have.

I sighed and easily broke the handcuffs with out even thinking about it. I almost completely forgot I was still in my leopard print swim suit till I felt a chill. 'Crap its cold!' I thought shivering as the door cracked open. I saw the light coming from the other side of the door and I stood getting up to open the door all the way. I looked outside to see ,what should be zombie infested halls all clear. I then started down the halls into what looked like a parlor with a fire place where I saw my captors.

Sergei Vladmir was the first person I saw, the idiot was licking his curvy knife making his tongue bleed, the russian emo. Then the three stooges of Resident Evil 4, Mendez, Salazar the midget who kidnapped me, and the Wesker copy cat Saddler. Also the supposed main villain through out the game who got pwned Spencer. The identical twin drag queens Alfred and Alexia. The last I saw was Nemesis who really scared me the most. He was probably the only one who could out do me strength wise.

All of them turned to me as I walked in, I in turn covered myself with the nearest pillow as I felt like I was getting eye raped. "Hey." I waved and felt very uncomfortable as they all looked like they were gonna kill me, I almost kept forgetting if I died I'd only get stronger. So really I couldn't die. Boy the irony has to bite me in the ass doesn't it.

But before I could finish any form of action Nemesis was behind me picking me back up and crossing his arms over me, successfully capturing me again. I felt like face palming although you need two hands for that so it was more like Epic Fail.

"So it seems the young girl joins us." Saddler said then evil laughed as he sat on the couch with his hands on a silver sulk head cane.

'God they need lives!' I thought rolling my eyes. "My names Jamy!" I yelled sounding like I was about to bash my brains in which I was.

"We don't really care, hehehehehehe." Salazar stated getting a treat from his master like a damn tiny dog.

"Well screw you! I don't give a damn either but look where I am." I pointed out mentally crossing my arms.

"You sure are talkative child." Saddler chimed back in and I death glared him so bad her whined and hid behind Mendez.

"I am not in the mood! So put me down damn it!" I yelled struggling in the brain dead Frankenstein's arms.

"Not a chance." Alexia finally said something as she walked up to me and put her long nails on my chin. "You should just be quiet. Or else you'll be sending us back in pieces." She threatened.

I laughed through my teeth, she messed up her sentence. "Yes I would like to send you back in pieces." I smirked agreeing with her statement even though she didn't.

"No you will be in pieces!" Alfred yelled from behind Alexia while being dressed like her. I then took my foot, swung it hard, loosened my shoe, then threw it at him from my foot. It hit him square on the head.

"Shut up drag queen!" I yelled laughing my ass off now.

"It seems comrade has instilled his hate of gay men with in you." The russian idiot decided to join in on the fun now. He walked up behind Alexia after she went to tend to her brother.

"Uh? Fear of gay guys? I instilled that in him you emo idiot! I told him about yoai!" Just thinking about that made me smile. "Matter of fact I never told him about SergeiXWesker." I smiled as Vladmir's eyes widened. Thanks to the fan fiction writers of the Resident Evil world this wasn't going to be so bad.

30 minutes later after explaining many different M rated fan fiction...

Saddler was twirling his hair while Mendez and Salazar were puking over the side of the couch. Sergei actually looked like he was enjoying himself with the thought. Alfred and Alexia had ran away about the first 5 minutes. Spencer's eyes were wide and I was pretty sure he had a heart attack. Nemesis was ...well he was unaffected. I had won the battle but not the war. Damn.

But as I sighed and thought I was gonna end up here forever, form jumped through the window and landed perfectly all with weapons and equipment. They looked like a team...a team of fans that is.

In other places...

"Why did the damn car brake down!" Wesker yelled kicking the smoking engine.

Krauser and Chris looked at the engine as if they were mechanics. Twisting wires and looking at plugs. They then looked up to Wesker and shrugged. "We have no idea."

"Damn! Your both useless idiots!" Wesker yelled then kicked the car again and the tire blew out. "Damn it!"

Back at the castle...

The 5 forms appeared looking like a damn swat team. They were packing...and not bags. Yeah bad pun I suck. The forms appeared revealing showing in the lead Valery with a Ak-47, Sora with a Samurai Edge, Audrey with a Berreta, Mary with an Uzi, and Mr. E my mysterious fan who held a 12 gauge shotgun.

"Aw! I should have figured every body would have died from to much M rated stories by now. Damn! No fair." Sora said while Valery agreed. Mary however just looked glad I was okay.

"Nemy! Let her go!" Mr. E commanded the huge monster who held me. In that instant he let me down and I landed on my ass. "Good Nemy." E was now petting the mutated monster like he was a puppy.

"Ow!" I yelled Audrey helping me up.

"Looks like you had this handled." She said putting her weapon up.

"Yep. Although it scares me the fact you guys got illegal guns in less then an hour then jumped through a 12 Ft. story window." I pointed out the fact automatics are illegal in the states.

"Its your fan fiction." Audrey said shrugging.

"You have a point. Only my fan fiction would have me in a leopard print swim suit while being kidnaped and getting saved by my friends and fans." I said thinking of my insanity.

Just then Wesker finally came swinging in, Chris and Krauser behind him.

"Damn! Were late." Wesker growled folding his arms. "Funk I'm tired, lets go." Quickly Wesker picked me up and started walking back to the Beach house. This was defiantly how one of my fan fictions would end.

YEAH ME!

*Reviewers Corner*

I am to lazy at the moment to write this please leave all questions till next chapter after the beep...BEEEEEEEEEEEEP!