I don't own Dragon Age.

"Your move," Dorian Pavus said, leaning back into his chair with ease. He stretched his arms behind his head and smiled at Varric as the dwarf pondered his next move. Out of the corner of his eye, Dorian saw a serving boy eye him as he watered the healing herbs in the garden. Whether from fear or lust, the magister would never know- but the boy was pretty, maybe 20 or 23. Dorian would let some flirtatious comments slip around the boy and see how long it took before Dorian woke to knocks on his door at midnight.

"I don't like that look in your eye, Sparkles." Varric growled. "It gives me the creeps."

"How could something this stunning give you the creeps?" Dorian smiled and gestured to his visage. Varric gave half a smile and turned back to the game, moving his queen to C5. Dorian glance up at a pacing figure on the ramparts.

"It seems our lady Inquisitor is deliberating her plan of attack towards our commander." Dorian gestured upwards. When Varric turned to look, Dorian assessed the board and squelched the urge to cheat- the dwarf was too clever to be fooled.

On the rampart, one could just make out the slender, pleasing figure of Evelyn Trevelyan pacing. Her auburn hair burned in the bright sun. She would walk off, disappearing slightly from view, before rushing back to the edge closest to the garden, biting her lip in frustration.

"Is Curly really that hard to process?" Varric said, turning back to Dorian. "Cullen is about as complicated as milk, if you're asking me."

"Yes, Cullen does have a certain… Dairy quality. Do you think she'll act on her feelings?"

"Are you sure she had feelings?"

Dorian gave Varric a look that said, You wish I had time to tell you all the feelings she is having. Varric sighed as Dorian moved his queen to E2.

"I think she'll make a move soon enough." Varric nodded as his slide his bishop to C3.

"I concur." Dorian said. "But I don't think anything will come of it."

"Truly?"

"Truly." Dorian deftly took the bishop with one of his pawns and rolled the fallen piece in his hands. "They are both reserved- to reserved for their own good."

"Shy people fall in love too, Sparkles." Varric took the pawn using his queen. "Or is there a law against that in Tevinter?"

"I'm sure there's a subsection or two on the subject." Dorian mused. "But even so, she is a mage and he is a templar-"

"Was a templar."

"Is a templar." Dorian said firmly, taking a pawn at D5 with his rook. "I hold our commander in the highest esteem- you don't look like that and not have me think highly of you- but he is still a templar, through and through. Such a love is sure to end badly."

"You think so little of mage-templar relations?" Varric asked, maneuvering his knight away from the encroaching rook.

"Only from what I've seen- Cullen did participate in the slaughter at Kirkwall."

"So did I, Dorian."

"And I'm sure you did what your Champion thought was best. But that doesn't change a man's nature." He moved his queen to H5 and sat back in his chair, smiling. "The two of them will never last."

"Care to make that a wager?"

Dorian looked up and met the dwarf's gaze with a gleaming smile. "What will it be, Master Tethras?" He moved his rook back to his king's side, and waiting Varric's response.

"Let's say… 100 sovereigns."

Dorian almost choked on his laughter. "You seem to think that I have sewn my family jewels into my outfits. While that's a good idea, I am not made of money, Varric."

"Scared, Sparkles?" Varric's mouth twisted into a grin.

"Heresy, my friend." Dorian smoothed out his moustache and moved his rook over a spot. "And what are the terms of this wager?"

"I say Curly and Boss get together and stay together."

"Until…?" Dorian raised his eyebrows. "A week? A month? A year?" Varric smiled and looked up the the ramparts one more time. Evelyn looked to be praying now, her face turned to the warm sun. Varric turned to the game and moved his rook to the edge of the board, in line with Dorian's queen.

"Perpetuity?" Dorian laughed and shook his head at the dwarf, moving his queen safely from the castle. "You are nothing if not a romantic, I'll give you that. Are you hoping for some Inquisition-themed sequel to Swords and Shields?"

"The Seeker would love that… No," Varric said, shaking his head and moving his rook down along the edge of the board. "No, I just… Know. Cullen and the Inquisitor are gonna end up together."

"Be that as it may, their love will surely burn out. If not soon, then after all this is done. After Corypheus is in the ground and the Inquisition's work is over, there will be nothing to bind them together." Dorian moved his own rook to C5 and set it down with flare. " 'I just know.' Really, amazing, Varric."

"The same way you know that the serving boy is gonna end up in your pants by the end of the week."

"Varric! You scandalize me." Dorian smiled. "Fine. If the Inquisitor and Cullen remain in a relationship, you win. Though how we'll ever be able to measure that, I'll never know."

"And if they call it quits, you win."

Dorian shook his head and laughed. "You do like a risk."

Varric shrugged. "I like pulling for the goods guys, is that such a bad thing?"

"Well, I like money and I thank you for the gift you intend to hand over to me. Your move, my friend."

Varric looked to the board, then back at the Inquisitor, whose back was turned to them, her hands on her waist. He smiled and looked back to the game. Slowly, he moved his queen to G3. Dorian jumped up to retaliate, but his smile faded after examining the board. The mage frowned and glared at the dwarf.

"This is no premonition, Varric. This means nothing." Dorian growled.

"Of course not, Sparkles." Varric put his hands behind his head and smiled and his angry friend. "Of course not."

Two years later, as the pair of them watched their lovely Inquisitor show off the simple band of gold Cullen had put around her finger, Varric smiled wickedly. "Come on, Sparkles. I think we can call it."

"Oh Maker…" Dorian pinched the bridge of his nose. "And I was going to buy myself a new fall wardrobe when I got home."

"I guess you'll just have to be behind the time for a season." Varric clapped Dorian on the back roughly. The new magister scowled, but managed to smile glowingly when Evelyn displayed her hand for him. As Dorian kissed her cheek, he thought about how he would soon become the poorest member of the Magisterium to date.

Sorry, this is just a little interlude before finals kick in and I just want to give my favorite moustachioed husband some screen time. Confession time- Dorian is actually my fav. I'm planning on writing a fanfic for him, after this one is done. We shall see.