Tony was browning sausage and ground beef for his lasagna sauce. Then he heard footsteps behind himself as he worked in Zoe's kitchen. He turned and said "Are you watching me cook now Z?" "If you want to help, you can open that can of crushed tomatoes for me. It goes into my sauce for on the layers of lasagna."

She opened the can with the electric can opener and poured the tomatoes into a plastic bowl for him.

"So did someone you were with in the past have a problem with Penelope being your friend?"

Tony replied "Ziva didn't believe I was only friends with her and she also didn't get along with her which is almost next to impossible. She got me through some rough stuff as a kid. We just clicked."

He inhaled as he stirred some of the sausage mixture. "There was a woman named Jeanne Benoit. I was asked to date her on an undercover assignment when Jenny Shepard was directing our agency. I know you're not supposed to fall but I did. Then I had to tell her it was all a lie. I wasn't nice to women before that. I just wanted to get laid. But this, what we have is real."

She said "I wasn't ready for more than that in Philly either spider. I wanted to just have fun and not be serious. But now that we have both grown up I know what we can really have and what I want. That is you."

He smiled. "I can carry a lot of baggage. Sure there was a moment I thought about Ziva, well a lot of them but I know we wouldn't have worked together that way. When you lose people you realize what is real and what's not."

He added the browned meat to his tomato sauce mixture. "Ok now I can boil my premade lasagna noodles."

Zoe said "I still can't believe you cook."

He replied "Well I haven't in a while for a woman. Sometimes making pasta helped me clear my head after a rough case. I have had a few sleepless nights over the job."

She ran her fingers down his back. "I have too, comes with the territory. Especially when something happens that you think is your fault even when it isn't. "

Tony nodded and got water boiling in a big pot for his noodles. "Or you hit the bottle, I did that when Director Shepard was killed. She blew off her protection detail in California at another agent's funeral. She knew someone was after her and Gibbs and also that she was sick. Had something like Parkinson's which is what took her father out of this world? That and a failed attempt to bring le grenouille. Search Rene Benoit sometime, he was an international arms dealer."

"I bury or fixate on things. Not healthy but its how I deal. You know more about my mother than probably anyone that I work with. Gibbs knows a little. Some stuff Senior told him I think. She's hard for me to talk about. I didn't even understand what happened that day. I went to her hospital room to watch a movie like we did every morning and then I was pulled away from her and all these nurses and doctors came in. Someone called my dad I guess later. I lost it the day of her funeral and had to be removed and placed in someone's car until the service was over. Embarrassed my father and was told that Dinozzo men don't cry. Didn't sit for a week after that one."

Zoe blinked. "You were eight years old Tony. What were you supposed to be like? Your mother had just died and you didn't even understand. And that man hit you for it? My poor spider." She kissed his lips and held his face in her hands gently.

He shrugged. "Three months later my grandma Dinozzo came. She's the one I learned lasagna from. She would teach me how to make sauce and chocolate chip cookies. Sometimes even cherry pie. Still can't get her crust quite right and I have tried. Then she and Senior had an argument and the first nanny came in, Rosita was her name I think. "

He layered his sauce and then meat over noodles in her glass baking dish. "You can help me grate mozzarella and provolone for in the layers and on top. I use both because I like how they mix with ricotta. Now my nonna she just used provolone and ricotta but I am a cheese junkie."

Zoe smiled and did what he wanted. "I am glad you are sharing this with me Tony. I want to know about you as a little boy. "

He said "Of course I was heartbreakingly handsome." He smiled at her.

She laughed. "No doubt spider. Bet all the girls had crushes on little Tony Dinozzo."

He said "Didn't go to a coed boarding school until I was fourteen. That was number four. Went through six total before I finished Rhode Island Military Academy and learned how to play basketball. Got me into Ohio State and well started my own life. Dad cut me off at twelve. I got upset because we went on vacation to Hawaii or what I thought was a vacation for us and he decided to "close a deal" with a rich divorcee. She had to go to Napa Valley to get money and he left me in a hotel room for two days with no idea where he was. Didn't worry until he got the room service bills for pizza, burgers and fries. Oh yeah good times." Then Tony was quiet.

Zoe said "I am sorry if this makes you hurt or relive bad things. "

He replied "My dad is a con artist. He is slick and smooth around a beautiful woman. I have my moments too but I can turn it off. He has no bullshit filter. He believes he is an entrepreneur. He is also broke or was a few years ago. He made money again on a few investments so yes he can afford a wedding in the Bahamas. Linda has her own money, her husband was a big deal with Donald Trump's organization."

She touched his face as he was putting the lasagna into the oven after it had preheated.

"I am glad you told me these things. I will go to your dads wedding with you and for you so he can celebrate but I don't know if I want him in my life other than that."

Tony nodded. "That's your prerogative. He is hardly in mine unless he decides to visit DC and the navy yard on the spur of the moment. And sometimes get involved in a case we are working though it's been a while. He tends to tiptoe around Gibbs since they had words on one of his "visits."

Zoe held his hands. "I am sorry. I can't imagine losing my mom so young and then having my father disappear or not know how to deal. I am an only child, my mom was in medical school when she married my dad and had me. They thought about adopting more children but then their ages got in the way."

Tony nodded. "I wonder if my sister had lived what would she be like sometimes. Well maybe someday I will find out. She is with my mom, which much I believe. Mom's name was Lydia. "

He got his wallet out and pulled out a picture. "That was what she looked like. Some say I have her eyes but I don't know. We went to see Bugsy Malone that day, she was having a good one and was allowed to get out of the hospital long enough to have time with me. It was before my birthday and that black bear that is on my bed in my apartment was her gift."

"Senior got me The Hardy Boys books. Started to like to read mysteries after that." "Still have them somewhere, may be in storage."

Zoe kissed his cheek. "You're getting teary baby."

He said "It happens when I talk about my mom. My Achilles heel. "

She just held him for a moment. "I wish I had known her because she is in you, in your heart. I am so grateful that I know her son though and he has my heart."