Chapter 11: The City That Never Sleeps

"The walk from that court was in picturesque rain. The grimy streets of the city mirrored the grey sky. Dim, dark, and distant were those clouds, so high above the sky watching mankind with its sinister grin. I sniffed; the musky blackness of the tar beneath my feet gave way to mold and dust. A crack of thunder, a split of light all beckoning signs of my renewal. My body on the street, my mind in a gutter, my heart in a shell that is whirling towards its inevitable target.

"How could they blame him? How could they (the ones who made us kill), kill with the gun that they held? Thoughts of idealism stream through my head, but it is to no avail. None of it was and none of it would ever be. The light from distant houses shone bright against the background of dusk. Dusk to dust, ashes to morning, and spring to fall. This was all just the inevitable circle drawing me ever onward. And I was sick of it.

"I kicked at a pebble, small and tiny compared to my black boot. The pebble rolled and lulled until at last it came to a stop. Its side turned dark from the water it had rolled in. My side was to be dark as the rain poured in. My heart was black from hate and anger, strife and mistrust towards the people I trusted. It was all for naught, it seemed. I was told I would help people. Now, all I saw was them dying. I walked over to a bus terminal and sat down, neglecting any company.

"Water rushed down my face and mixed with salt as I spat to the ground. Emotion was a lie to us, as it is to you. Everything is that circle of hate. We are beaten in training, told how to hold a gun, and then forced to never fire again. It's sick and a lie. Giving candy to a babe then asking for them never to eat it, even when the child is starving. The water soon stopped and I looked up to see a woman in black holding an umbrella over my tattered form. She smiled and continued her gaze onward, obviously waiting for the bus. I told her I did not need the protection.

"'Nonsense,'" was her reply. 'Humans have always run from the cold and the rain. Who are you to say you're not human?'

"'I'm a soldier, miss,' was my counter.

"Her face warmed in the bitter cold and she opened her trench coat slightly. 'So am I,' she stated as her insignia was revealed. She closed her jacket once more. 'I like the rain too. I guess it's for the sinners to wash away the sins they have witnessed.' Her voice was like fire, crackling and beckoning to be listened to. Warmth emanating from every syllable that rolled off her tongue. 'But it also chills the bones; don't want you catching a cold anytime soon.' With that she placed the umbrella in my hands. Though my icy fingers grazed the heat from her flesh, she did not seem faltered by this.

"She moved her collar to point high to the sky and started to walk away, the downpour continuing in its full gale. 'Hey, wait!' I called out. 'I don't want your umbrella!'

"Her face turned to me and that same warm smile shone again. 'An old human saying: An eye for an eye. You listened to me, I granted you reprieve from the rain. Maybe you'll want to hear from me again.' With that she turned and walked away. On the handle of the umbrella was embedded a name in silver.

"It was the beginning of my new baptism. From there everything went downhill."

We were welcomed back as heroes. "Legends," Raven explained. "You are legends for you services in the name of peace and justice." Motivations never really bothered Raven, it was always the final outcome; the effect it had on people. I guess that was why Finnegan was dealt so harshly with. Later, after Raven's congratulations towards our exploits and a speech to the new recruits, I saw him talking to Siphon. I heard the words "safety," "incognito," and "attracting attention". Siphon was being drilled about not showing off from what I was hearing, then again I was only guessing. But 'guessing' wasn't part of my mandate. I was an observer and I tried desperately to hold onto this mentality as the days drew on.

Geisha was a welcome return. I spied her during the speech but did not have a chance to talk with her until a day later. Though my view of her was tainted due to Zealot's loud mouth, I did not consider her equal to the other strippers. How could she be? It was like I was under her spell. A few steps close and my head would be halfway to Earth. "M'lord," she exclaimed as I surprised her with my presence. I laughed a bit and shook it off.

"It's Shade, not m'lord," I affirmed as I made my way around to her face that I could stare into for days. Even before I said the name Raven had given me it had started to solidify in my brain. I was no longer Marcus Tyson and the thought scared me. Anger birthed from my fear, the anger of not knowing my place in the
universe.

She gave a quick smile. "I am bound to my oath, m'lord. I am here to help Raven and his kind, which is all I am here for." Her smile dissipated as she started to walk out again. The abruptness of the conversation tore at my bones. Why did she throw me off like a common dog? What was this 'oath' she was bound to? Hatred due to my confusion boiled inside of me and without thinking I reached to her arm, grabbing her forcefully. Her first reaction was to tear herself away but I was strong, sending her backward into my arms, my eyes blazing with hatred for my situation. This gesture came as a shock for her as her eyes grew large with terror and fear. In those eyes I saw pain. There was so much suffering in those bright blue eyes of her gaze. In my head I heard the voice of Zealot, her mocking tone prominent: "Probably 'entertaining' some lonely soldier." Those words echoed through my subconscious as my grip loosened. I was not like the men at this base.

"I'm sorry," I remarked slowly, moving her from my form. "I didn't... well, you know." I snapped at my word choice, so stupid and childish. "Its fine, I'll be off." I left her there, angrier than I was before I had entered.

A couple of days had passed since my encounter with Geisha. I was mortified by my actions. How could I resort to the ideals of murderers and thieves? But my mind wandered, it started to ponder these people around me. Were they so evil? Even the cruel Finnegan was laughing and shaking hands with his comrades. Now outside from his medical suspension he was all smiles. I wouldn't be, not with what he had just gone through. Though his gait showed sensitivity towards his lower regions he was still dexterous in his movements. His words also shared the same traits as he would jump from topic to topic, always talking to the human commandos and never the alien ones. Being a human, his gazed passed over me even though I was present at his public disgracing.

"I heard you had your first real mission awhile back," he stated with a cold drink in his hand. It was chilled with some sort of steam rising from the blue liquid. I could never have guessed what the hell the glass contained, only that it was probably alcoholic. "Siphon was leading that mission, right? Or was it Biasheta?" I told him it was Biasheta and he gave a laugh. "Siphon I can sorta stand, though his slimy exterior is quite mistrusting I do not mind his pious interior." He took a sip and breathed deeply after he had swallowed. "Ah yes, nothing better than a pious drell. They are better that way than talkative, I hate those ones." He shook his head then, staring into his drink. "You know, asari are a mystery to me. They call themselves the bringers of peace yet delight in the fancies of the species around them. They are twisted in their morals, delighting in pleasing one second then turning away from your touch the next. In my opinion they are asking to be taught a lesson." His gaze never left his glass through all this and I could detect a malicious nature to his tone. He was silent for a moment longer before he shook his head and grinned wider. "I guess that's why we humans could never do anything properly around them; our cocks replace our fucking heads." He patted me on my shoulder and looked into my eyes. "I'm surprised you survived her raging temper and her stupid other language, I envy you for your patience." With that he waved my drink in recognition towards my achievement then left for another with smiles and charms.

There was something to him. His hatred must have had a source, yet I could not tell what it was. I was no psychologist; that was Rhetoric's job. I had not seen her until the day after my incident with Geisha, a day before my 'talk' (if you could call it that) with Finnegan. She had approached me from afar, her long black hair down to her waist and her broadened and masculine features chiseled into her face. There were dark brown eyes that pierced at anything she could find. Logic steamed from her step, each step reverberating endlessly. I passed her slowly but a hand grasped by shoulder. "I heard about your conflict with Geisha." I cringed; I didn't want to talk about this now. "I want to talk."

"There's nothing to talk about."

"That's what you think."

"Bullshit."

"Only lies my friend, only lies." I turned to her then. My eyes piercing at her.

"Who the hell do you think you are?"

"A friend, someone to lean a shoulder on. Trust me when I say I've dealt with cases like you before, I know what you're going to do, what you're going to say next. I know that you think I'm crazy and are going to evict every comment I have made from your head. But what you don't know is that you need help. Everyone here does. That's why I'm here."

I grinned. "Raven asked you, didn't he? You owe him some sort of debt. I have heard it all. Prince needs redemption from the geth research, Biasheta has been wronged by her culture, Zealot's been wronged by the military, etc. etc." I shook my head and took her hand on my shoulder. "What makes you so different from the rest of us, huh?"

"Raven owes me the favour." She patted my cheek. "Consider my offer, ask Thionan if you want to know where my room is. He knows it very well." With that she walked away and continued down the path she originally intended. She was right in the fact that I left that place thinking she was a load of bullshit. What she didn't expect was that I'd see her the next day and every week since that day.

My talks with her were brief and short. It was mostly me talking about my past. Good parents, good childhood, shitty young adulthood, stole a bit, drugs and alcohol; you know it all. Then the military picked me up. I rode the promotional ladder high until I finally received captaincy. Captaincy over my own ship, it was a beautiful vessel and was to be mine fully until the Reaper Wars happened. I got replaced by a more 'experienced' man who did his job well, mind you, but never had the morals. My morals; the ones that ruined me. I explained it to Rhetoric like this: "Imagine you are in a burning building and you have a chance to save someone's life, but the firemen command you to leave the person there and get away. What do you do? I chose to save that person; does that mean I'm bad?"

The thought, I remembered, intrigued her. "No," she explained slowly. "No you are not, but you did disobey orders."

I threw my hands in the air. "I had a chance to save that vessel; I heard their screams coming from the com system. It was a damaged reaper and I knew my guns could take it out. But I never expected that damn beam to wash over me and completely wreck my ship's sensors. I never asked for the weapons to overload and blow half my ship to hell. My men died due to my error in captaincy. I was never even supposed to lead that mission, the damn captain died earlier on! Do you know what it's like to be blamed for your morals? Do you?" I ended up yelling at her for no particular reason and slammed the door shut, ending the meeting early.

The white halls drowned my agony. Their pristine colour mocked my dirty grime. I was a tainted blight to them. I had no place in this spotless area. As such, I took myself to the wooden double doors. I had been here before with Raven laughing about 'moral boasting'. I was so sure he would never use that term again. I opened the doors and entered slowly into where the asari had been beaten, unhinging the buttons on my jacket and unzipping it all the way down. It was cleaner than when I had entered in previously, yet still retained the woody, musky scent. It was dark, oppressing, and comforting. The darkened nights of my cell were as comfortable as this and as tantalizingly beautiful. I heard someone say that this was the last room to be renovated after Finnegan's betrayal, how Raven was to make this look like the rest of the building. Overreaction? Probably.

Standing there, my jacket open to my sweaty white undershirt and I felt alive. It was in that gloom I saw another, hiding in the corner. It was a female, her black hair bundled into a bun with chopsticks holding it in place. I made a motion towards her causing my foot to crackle against the wood. Instantly her hood was up and her rouse was gone, I knew who it was. "Hello Yeswayla."

I could not decipher what expression shifted across her face. The lights here were dim at best and the three bulbs hanging by string did not enhance the mood at all. "You like the darkness too, don't you Shade?" she asked. The words were lulling off her tongue.

A sigh came from my lips. "Ya, ya I suppose I do."

I could faintly make out the outline of her shape: she was in the corner of the room, her back to a stack of wooden boxes. The lights flickered into brightness from time to time, allowing me momentarily to see her more clearly. "I guess you found me out then Shade, you found my 'secret' base." She raised both hands and 'air quoted'.

"I have never seen you near the other men. You don't like their company?"

She shrugged. "I don't mind it. I sometimes enjoy it. Most of the time they eye me weirdly, like I'm going to steal their wallets." I looked at her curiously, taking a few more steps closer. She noticed my confusion. "I'm a thief here, that's what they call me. Personally I prefer 'professional kleptomaniac', I think it's much better, don't you?"

I stopped my advanced and shrugged. "Some people call me a murderer."

She turned around more fully, her face full of humor. "No!" she exclaimed sarcastically, throwing down her legs by the side of the box. "How could someone like you be such a ruthless killer?"

"I don't know, why don't you ask them?"

Her head shook. "I don't want their opinion, I want yours."

I pondered this thought for a moment. "Well, I never wanted to kill. Guns were handed to my young hands and I assumed I was to fire with them. The orders never are specific, they can't be anymore. All imagination, no reality." I started to pace. "Murderer? No, I'm not that. A killer? Now that fits my description perfectly." I looked to the ceiling. "That's why I like the darkness so much, I suppose. I don't have to hide in it, it hides me well enough."

My gaze leveled once more and she was gone. Then I felt wind rush by my head and I felt her arms around my neck, her hands resting on my chest. "I like the cities for the same reason, Shade. I love the hiding possibilities. I love staying out of sight, then following a guy down the street for miles. His destination is always the same for me, motivation is key. What twinkles in the eyes are his desires. Desires tell you what his pocket book is like and if he's worth the steal." I felt her hands rub up and down my chest. "I can tell you're a very interesting person, maybe I'll 'borrow' something from you sometime."

With that I felt a rush of wind once more as I whipped around to find nothing there. I was alone. Alone without my gun or my ammo clips. I swore and looked around, calling out to her. She had to be here, didn't she? At last I heard a fading voice in the rafters. "No promises that I'll return what I've borrowed though." With that I was alone and I stomped my foot to the ground and swore.

"Talking to yourself, eh bro?" I whisked around to find Thionan at the door, softly chuckling to himself. I looked around the room trying to justify Yeswayla, but Thionan only laughed at me. "That's what you get for trusting Neko." I looked to him and he sighed, throwing up his hands. "It's the damn codename, Shade!" My true name was thrown out and I immediately regretted it. I felt like I had lost a part of me. This thought was broken by Thionan's next comment. "Oh, Raven wants to see you by the way. I looked over this whole damn base to find you."

I cocked my head. "Raven? What does he want with me?"

"Be damned if I knew."

"See these lights, the dancing purple, blue, and gold? See how they pulsate and dance in the stars? I guess that's the asari culture for you, always trying to be as discrete in their cockiness as they can be." I was standing beside Raven going up in a large elevator. Before us was glass and before that was the city of Illium. It was a stark contrast compared to Omega; the dingy criminal scum a few systems away. No, here it was pristine and clear, the sky a milky orange and the clouds dark against the stars. "In the end though I admire it, they don't try to be something that they're not. Peacekeepers and diplomats are what they are made up of. Sleeping with races to get on their good sides comes with the job, naturally."

I had been picked personally by Raven to go on this mission with him. From what I had been told from his briefing we were to meet with a contact of his to secure his plans that would be initiated in the coming days. We took a small craft piloted by the best, according to Raven, and did not enter in discretely. We passed through all the checkpoints and were asked a multitude of questions, never once did they wonder about Raven's mask. We did not wear our regular uniforms; I wore casual attire while Raven wore a suit. He gave me a small handgun to fit in my coat. I passed through the security points nervously but was never caught once for the gun I held.

We passed through the rooftop streets as one of them: the people who were too busy to gaze. Their eyes darted from store to store, their technology buzzing in their hands. Their minds were a computer and Raven only wanted them to snap so that they would realize what had become of them. Through the chaotic streets we rose into the elevator where Raven talked to me about asari, where Raven talked to me about society.

"Our contact is asari, right?" I questioned softly. Raven looked to me from the window.

"Yes, a good one at that. Respect her and she will respect you. Those're the type of people I like most. They are the ones who do not shy away from standing up for themselves. At the same time they don't shy away from treating you equally." The sky shifted and the lights of the city basked us in their glow. I looked to my hands. Bright colours, vibrant designs that coursed my veins. I was a tapestry of art, a mirror of the universe's own reflection. Yet I was molded as human, a gun close to my heart. I was breakable.

We reached the top floor and stepped out. The scarlet carpet was laid before us as we walked to the secretary of his contact. Raven spoke: "I'm here for an appointment." The lady at the counter looked to him in confusion, possibly distain. Hey eyes darted to his sides as she took off her glasses. She was human.

"I'm guessing you didn't bring guns this time?" Guns?

"You know me," he replied warmly, "I'm always full of surprises."

The lady at the counter shook her blonde head. "That's what I'm afraid of." After a few precise types on her holographic keypad she motioned us into a room. The doors opened in harmony, welcoming us in. "She will see you in a few minutes, try not to touch anything."

Raven laughed. "No promises." With that I started to follow behind Raven but was promptly stopped by the woman.

"Now where did he pick you up?"

My nose wrinkled in displeasure. "I came of my own accord," I asserted. I was laughed at for my reply.

"I know a liar when I see one, trust me hon. Raven wants you." I turned from her to see Raven beckoning me with his open hand. I followed him in and this time he stayed behind me.

Once the doors closed behind us, he spoke: "Sometimes it is not only the 'aliens' who are faulted, but the 'humans' as well. Think on it." He walked around the room looking at the bookshelves that lined the walls. His hands were clasped behind his back and he whistled as his pointed black shoes treaded on the silk carpet. I, in turn, took a seat on a velvet chair that was near a desk. The desk was oak, solid and strong with defining features of asari art and culture. Goddess' that danced and clapped rings that strung bells and whistled causing many to follow in their footsteps. The work it must have taken to create such a work was staggering and I was awestruck that such beauty was in a lowly office. I noticed Raven opening the blinds and peering to the scene below us. There was a chuckle. "The relocation of humans has worked well here, they are quite well adapted, don't you say?"

"I guess," was my reply, monotone, "but it did cost us our planet."

Raven shut the blinds and sighed. "Our planet was doomed to start with. We needed it reborn in crimson flame, to be created again for a new evolution of human and the universe. What we got was radiation that burned the skin, charred the mind. No one wanted to do the work, it was easier to relocate the few than affect the many." His mask turned to me and from there I could see the harsh leather that was plastered to his skin. "It's always about numbers, Shade. For that reason the universe will burn. We need a different type of universe, one where numbers do not dictate possibilities. A universe where we work for what we believe in instead of sitting around and relocating ideals and jobs so we, the higher class, are not burdened."

"Ah Raven," came a voice from behind as his eyes swept past me and my body twirled to the side. Behind me was an asari in a red silk dress. It was long and flowing, not work related at all. Then again, what Raven said about asari struck my mind again and I realized its meaning. "You and your extravagant speeches about order and justice. Don't you say anything else?"

"A bit late aren't we?" he asked coyly.

"Been out dancing, you know us asari." She gave a wink in Raven's direction, completely ignoring me. "Did not have time to change, sadly. But you don't mind do you?" Raven shook his head.

In a few moments after he bowed his head and tucked his arm into his stomach, Raven replied. "It is a pleasure to see you again Arnia S'Loinus." The asari waved his comment off and walked over to her desk. Once seated, she motioned for him to do the same and Raven did.

"Aren't we acquainted enough not to have to use formalities, Raven?"

"We are in the presence of another, Arnia."

She looked to me and gave a quick sigh. "A shame," she muttered under her breath. Thanks, I thought sarcastically, thanks a-fucking-lot. Arnia returned her gaze to Raven and gave a wide smile. "So, what is the business for today? Sharp knives, ballistic missiles, deadly poisonous gas?" She put a finger to her lip and after a moment her eyes grew wide with realization. "Oh, you want the really deadly stuff don't you? You want to murder someone secretly!"

Raven shook his head. "Not today I'm afraid," I'm afraid? "No, today you don't get to have much 'fun'. I want some contacts drilled up, some passes for quarian security and ID for the Rannoch scientific research center." Raven produced a stack of pages from his coat and placed it on her desk. She took them and started to flip through the pages, looking slightly bored now that she had no 'fun' work.

Her gaze rose from the pristine pages. "Now what the hell would you want this for?" The light on her desk turned on. Must be the night cycle of the planet, but it was not the brightness that bothered me, it was the colour. It was a deep blue, hazy and misty, contradicting the vibrant red below and contrasting her dress. "I mean the usual stuff you want me to do is hook up people, never anything like this."

Raven leaned forward in his chair, his ass almost off the edge. "I thought you liked the 'fun' stuff?"

Arnia placed the papers on her desk then threw herself back. Her glance was towards the window, her eyes trying to look through the cracks in the blinds. "I lie, ok? I say these things so I can impress people. You know me; I quivered when you brought my first contact." Her head turned and her once confident eyes turned watery. "Sometimes I can't handle it."

Raven's gaze was soft and kind. He put his hand in his hair and ruffled his long black hair, his gaze returned from the floor to her shortly after. "This is important Arnia; this is about the preservation of our universe. This galaxy is sick, our people are sick-"

"It's the same thing you've always told me before," she interrupted, standing up now and making her way to the window. Her slender blue hands drew the blind up and revealed the city below drenched in darkness. Lights twinkled brighter than stars; it looked like it could be day from all the lights. "How could you want to change all this? They're peaceful down there, Raven."

He shook his head and stood up. "We both know that is a lie Arnia. Down below in that city of the sleepless there are people who think and people who follow blindly. I'm pretty sure all the thinking ones are up here." Her sigh was low and groggy, embedded with years of sleepless nights. She turned to Raven, the bags under her eyes all the more prevalent.

"You know what the lowlife on Omega say about us?" Raven didn't move, his answer to her question was simple enough. "On Illium you can't tell whether its night or day. In the streets you only see lights, light so bright you can't tell whether you're awake or dreaming. They call us sleep-walkers; they call us dreamers of the day."

"I call you complacent." Her head whisked back to the window, her reflection showing her angered gaze. "I call you cowards for not fighting back. You sit and you watch, restless in your beds but you do nothing to change it. Arnia, the galaxy is far from perfect nowadays. If the reapers did one thing it was drone us out to justice. We accept what we see and say that it is good enough for us when it isn't." He motioned to the scene outside. "This is not how organic beings should live. This is systematic chaos: the urge to purge the night and find humility and our destiny. The stars are our destiny, the early humans thought it was and so do your kind." He walked over to her desk, his black leathered hand grazing over the trinkets until they found a picture frame. He picked it up and chuckled, it was of another asari and Arnia. I guessed it was her lover.

He motioned to the frame and when she saw that he held it, she burst out in fear. "Don't break it!" she commanded.

"What will you do for this?" he asked strongly, toying with the frame in his hand. "If I break it will you kill me? Will you risk trying to take me down now? Are you going to fight for your love?" Her gaze was of hate and anger, I found myself in the middle of a tug-of-war, tension and anxiety building every second. "Shade," he stated calmly, "bring out your gun and point it at her."

"Wait, what-?"

"Do as I say." I did and lifted my gun to her face. The expression changed from anger to mortified fear. She looked back and forth from me to Raven, her gaze now looking for a way out.

"How did... how did you—"

"You know me well enough to know I have methods of getting what I want. So now," he toyed with the picture once more, taking it in both hands and cocking his head towards it, "will you try and fight until you die for this emotion or will you submit?" Arnia looked back and forth then with calm deliberate movements, raised her hands in the air, depicting her choice perfectly.

A sigh escaped from Raven's lips as he placed the picture face down on the table. He barked an order at me to turn the gun away; I did so gladly, mouthing 'sorry' towards the asari. I don't think she noticed, she had too many tears in her eyes. That night I think I forced myself to believe that she noticed so my conscious would be at rest. She saw the picture unharmed and then lowered her arms, immediately thanking Raven. "Thank you so much, you have no idea—"

A single finger rose to command her silence and her reply reflected that. The finger curled into his fist as he placed it behind him with his other hand. "This is why I exist, Arnia. I do not blame you for your lack of emotion and focus; I blame the circus outside your window." He walked over to the open window once more and cocked his head towards the scenery below. "You could all sleep if you wanted to tonight, but the government below would not let you. Next time you see your lover tell her this: spread my words and tell her you will do anything for her. I want this world to return to its roots, emotions and beauty instead of artificial logic." He shook his head and started to make his way to the door. "All the information on the ID fabrication is in there, I expect to have these things at the latest in a few days. Is that acceptable?"

"Yes, Raven."

He chuckled softly. "Good. Come Shade, we will be leaving now." He pressed a keypad as the door slid open for me to go through, but Raven lagged behind so he could have one last word with the asari. "This is what peace has given us Arnia: complacency. One day we will reach our evolutionary peak where logic, emotion, and strength will abolish complacency, harshness, and fear. Fear drives our society now, Arnia. Don't let it drive you." With that the grey doors closed shut and we were alone in the crimson hall once more, the human secretary's mouth agape.

I still remembered her face though; Arnia's face as Raven took the picture in both his hands. Fear drove through those eyes as tears fell. She wanted to save that picture yet the gun to her head stopped all action. My gun. In my hand. These thoughts coursed through my head. If Raven had commanded it, could I have kill her? Would he have killed her? Compassion, does it exist for him? More and more thoughts drove deep into my skull as I found myself lying in my bed unable to sleep. But Raven's words rang true. He had shown me society's flaws and for that I should have thanked him. I still don't know if I should thank him or curse him, but I do know I will never forget Arnia's face.

I could not drift off for the rest of the night.

In the end, I was dreaming awake.

Author's Note: According to my planning sheet, this chapter marks the end of "Act 1". Everything has been set up and now the stage is set from some exciting events to occur. Thanks again for all the reviews. They really make it worthwhile and I appreciate everything you all have to say. It fills me with such amazing confidence when I hear that you guys are enjoying the story.