Disclaimer... These characters belong to JKR.
I'm on a roll! Look at all these words!
The next time Lily talked to one of the Marauders was on Prefect patrol the night after the party. Remus walked quietly by her side as they made their way through the deserted castle. It was warm, summer breezes floating gently through the hallways.
"Are you alright, Lily?" Remus asked her seriously, ten minutes into their walk.
"Perfect" she said.
"James – he means well, y'know"
"Remus, why are we talking about your git of a mate?"
"Sorry" he said quietly, fixing his eyes on the empty corridor ahead of them.
Lily sighed. She shouldn't – really shouldn't – snap at Remus. Remus was nice. He helped her with her Transfiguration homework and covered for her at Prefect meetings when she missed them. It wasn't his fault one of his best mates was a prat.
She'd woken up that morning, slightly bewildered, with an empty feeling in her chest. Cold, too. Like that ball of ice that Tara Narrow planted had grown, reaching down into her stomach and up into her heart. Lily didn't understand any of it. Why she'd been so upset to hear about Potter's exploits.
She snorted, drawing a concerned look from Remus. Exploits. Like she was some middle aged witch, clutching at her pearls.
"Lily…" Remus tried again, "I know, you say you'll never go out with him. But right now I think he'd be happy with friendship"
She shook her head firmly. Too much between them, too much history. Every time she looked at Potter she saw him hexing Sev, or shouting after her in the hallway after class.
"I know he's your friend, Remus, but – no. I can't. Sorry"
Remus nodded carefully, and smiled at her a bit. It was a nice smile. Gentle and kind and friendly, and it made her smile back reflexively. That was one thing about Potter, Lily decided. He had good taste in friends.
All his friends, really. She'd learned a lot about the Marauders this year, and it had surprised her that they weren't the brainless bullies she'd always assumed. Peter was quiet and a little too eager to follow, but he was kind and he talked to Lily. She helped him with homework, sometimes, and he told her about his mum, who sent him home-made biscuits and knitted mittens. On Lily's birthday, Peter got her to send extra, and delivered her a package of brownies at the Gryffindor table.
Sirius made her laugh during Potions, which wasn't always a good thing, actually, but he was funny and dry, and once when a Ravenclaw pureblood had cornered her, shouting about stolen magic, Sirius had hexed him from behind and asked courteously if she was alright.
And Remus of course, was her friend.
Potter was the one she had a problem with.
The rest of the night went quietly, murmured laughs and warm air, groaning about OWLs, which loomed above them. They didn't talk about the war. Lily tried not to, these days. Too depressing.
By the time she said goodnight, already on the stairs to her dormitory, it was midnight and her eyes were falling shut.
James stared at the calendar in his dormitory, before launching a pillow at Sirius. Sirius woke up, muttering something about 'why the fuck don't we just buy an alarm clock, Prongs, it would cause me less pain'.
"First day of June" he said, still staring at the calendar. Moony and Wormtail woke up with sleepy groans, and Oliver Sands, hurried out of bed and into the shared washroom.
He'd been scared of the Marauders ever since they transfigured his bed into a miniature, bad tempered lion. Truthfully, James couldn't bring himself to regret that particular incident.
"Shit" Sirius said briskly, reaching for a stack of text books.
"What Padfoot said" Remus agreed.
"Charms" Peter said, eyes wide, "Charms aren't hard. I can do this"
James ruffled his pale brown hair.
"That you can, Wormy. You'll be fine"
"Fine" Peter repeated distantly, "I'll be fine"
"Breakfast!" Remus said loudly, and pulled on his socks.
The Gryffindor table that morning was quiet. Peter was muttering incantations under his breath, tapping the pumpkin juice jug with his wand until it shimmied in place, juice sloshing.
James tried to eat, piling eggs and sausages and toast onto his plate until he couldn't see the shining gold anymore, and realized that he wasn't hungry in the least. He sipped a cup of tea, uncharacteristically nervous.
He'd had an owl from his mum, yesterday morning.
She told him not to worry. Said that if he failed everything, he could just come work for his dad. That wasn't happening. At all. James wasn't planning to spend his life making – haircare potions. He was going to fight dragons and play Quidditch for England and hunt Death Eaters. He was going to have a full, and glorious life. He just had to finish a few tests. He'd be fine. Charms, James thought, trying for confidence, I can do Charms. James recited Charms theories in his head until the bell rang. His tea had gone cold.
The other years had trooped off for lessons, leaving the fifth and seventh years in the Entrance Hall. Lily was frantically re-reading about the creation of the Cheering Charm, in Charms for the Charming, and the tiny text was starting to make her head hurt.
'… gives the user a great sense of wellbeing… possible side affects may include singing and skipping… OWL level charm…firm wrist movement is necessary…'
Finally, the doors swung open. Lily let out a squeak, stuffing the thick book back in her back before squaring her shoulders.
The Great Hall was silent. It was hot and sticky, and Lily pulled her robes away from the back of her neck as she filed in with the other Gryffindors. Sev, who had already entered, offered her a small smile, and she smiled back. Charms, she thought, a trifle unsteady feeling, I can do Charms.
The House tables had been replaced by desks and chairs like the ones found in classrooms all over the school. Ink bottles and standard quills sat to the side, along with a long roll of parchment, and the exam paper sat in the middle.
It was strangely menacing for a thin, white sheet of paper. Lily eyed it carefully as she sat down.
Professor Flitwick at the front was perched on a pile of books, humming to himself as he watched the students carefully. A huge, ornate hourglass sat by his hand. With some effort, he flipped it over and looked out at the students solemnly.
"You may begin!" he squeaked.
Lily took a deep breath and flipped the paper over.
Question Five, Lily read, a half hour in, pick a notable Charms Master, and explore his or her accomplishments and how they've influenced the Wizarding World. Five inches or more.
Head down, she started to scribble in tiny, neat, handwriting.
Half an hour later, the hourglass ran out, and Flitwick summoned their papers with a long wave of his wand. With a sort of helpless swooping in her stomach, Lily watched her parchment soar away.
"How d'you think you did?" Lily asked Camilla as they hurried up the stairs to the dormitory.
"I failed!" Mary said, coming up behind them. She sounded close to tears, and Lily wrapped a comforting arm around her.
"Hush, dear. You didn't fail, you'll be fine"
"That was an excellent exam" Anna grinned, slinging an arm over Mary's spare shoulder. Mary sniffed.
"I don't know how I did" Camilla said. She gazed at a portrait of three portly knights who were swigging wine and singing a drinking song.
"You'll be fine, Cami" Lily told her.
Camilla shrugged.
"I only need an OWL in Astronomy, really. I'd like to be an Astrologer"
"You need Divination then, don't you?" Marlene asked. She'd seemed to have appeared from nowhere.
The group of five girls continued up the stairs, but Lily recoiled as she spotted Jugson coming down.
Ever since discovering the papers in her room, Lily had been quiet during lessons. She'd done the work, kept silent, and only talked when called upon. It was driving her mad to have to sit in the same room as Jugson, but it was the only thing she could do. They needed more proof.
"Act natural!" Anna hissed.
"Oh thank you" Marlene hissed back, rolling her eyes, "that was ever so helpful"
Lily slapped a palm across Marlene's mouth as Jugson passed them.
The sallow witch gave them a small, unconvincing smile, but said nothing. Lily relaxed.
"Marlene…" she said after a moment, turning to make sure Jugson was out of earshot, "your mum has contacts in other departments of the Ministry, yeah?"
Marlene blinked, but nodded.
"D'you think you could send her an owl? I'm curious about where Jugson came from…"
A smile crept over Marlene's face, and she nodded again, peeling off from their group in the direction of the Owlery.
"Don't miss the practical!" Mary called after her anxiously.
Peter was hiding under his bed. James kicked at the bedposts in annoyance, trying to get the smaller boy to budge.
"Peter!" Sirius yelled. He was lying on his stomach, glaring at the small lump under the bed that was Peter. Wormtail had curled up in a ball, and wasn't answering them. Sirius sneezed. It was dusty under there.
"I have a Chocolate Frog!" Remus coaxed.
"G'way" came a small, muffled voice.
James nearly stamped his foot in frustration, but refrained. Stamping wasn't manly. Stamping was something that five year old girls did.
"Peter, get your arse out from under there, or so help me-" Sirius didn't finish his threat, but trailed off ominously.
"Go to hell"
Peter had untucked his face, so his words were clearer. Sirius withdrew in shock, brushing at the dust on the front of robes.
"Did he – did he just tell me to go to hell?" he asked incredulously.
"Yep"
James sounded laconic, but continued to kick the bed. The frame shook and there was a quiet sneeze from Peter.
"Peter!" he shouted, "you're going to make us all miss our Charms practical and then we'll fail everything and have no OWLs and get kicked out of Hogwarts and then when we're homeless, wandless failures, we'll all come live at your mum's house. Is that what you want Peter? Really?"
"Y'can go without me" Peter mumbled, curling back up.
"Damnit Wormtail!" Remus burst out, and James and Sirius stared at him for a moment. Moony was supposed to be the calm one.
It had surprised Peter too, cause there was a small yelp from under the bed. Leaning down, Remus reached under the bed and grabbed Peter's ankle, hauling him out from the small space.
"There" Remus said briskly, dusting his hands off. Peter whimpered. James pulled him to his feet and frog-marched him out of the dormitory.
The examiner for Charms was a tall, elegant Ministry witch, who perched small rectangular spectacles on the end of her rather aquiline nose. She held her checkboard up as James approached, a tiny frown on her face.
"Potter, Potter, Potter"
The frown turned into a delighted smile, and she peered closely at James. James leaned back.
"Your father is Fleamont?"
"Er- yes" James said, slightly awkward. He'd prefer to just start charming things, rather than talking…
To his surprise, the witch chuckled fondly.
"Quite the duellist, was your father!" she told him, "excellent Potioneer too. Well, he hardly could've been such a major success without some talent at Potions"
Suddenly, she swooped downed, her eyes gone cold.
"And how's your sainted mother?"
"Mum? Well, I think. She's fine"
The witch sniffed loudly and referred to her checklist. All around, his classmates were levitating large books, with varied degrees of success. A Hufflepuff girl, named Bliss Bones, burst into tears as her book crashed to the ground. James winced. Peter, who was at another table, looked up with wide startled eyes, and James tried to give him an encouraging smile.
"She stole him from me, you know" the woman continued, sounding tearful. James shifted from foot to foot.
"Look – I'm sorry miss, but the examination-?"
She composed herself, dabbing at her eyes with a tissue she'd conjured, blinking furiously.
"Right!" she said, drawing herself up, "I'd like you to perform a basic Growth Charm"
Ten minutes later, he was done, and James felt marginally more confident regarding his future. Maybe he wouldn't have to go into marketing hair-care products for middle-aged witches.
Remus and Sirius had finished before him, and were sitting in the Entrance Hall, waiting for James and Peter. "How'd you do?" Remus asked. He sounded uncharacteristically anxious and James frowned.
"Fine, I think. My examiner was one of dad's old flames, so that was – interesting"
Sirius snickered.
"I messed up my Colour-Change Charm" Remus said gloomily, and Sirius patted him on the back.
"Ah well" James slid down the wall, dropping his heavy book bag gratefully. He looked out at the few students still waiting to be tested. "You'll be fine, Moony. Evans is the only one with marks higher than you in Charms"
Peter stared at him.
"What?" James asked irritably.
"You said the E word"
"The E word?"
"The Evans word" Sirius clarified. He dug in his bag and pulled out his Transfiguration textbook.
James waved a dismissive hand at Peter.
"I'm over her. It's fine, Peter. Now sit down"
Peter sat.
The four were unusually silent as they each pulled out textbooks, and tried to cram as much information in as possible.
Beside them sat the two Prewett brothers, talking quietly. Fabian, only a second year, was frowning over a scrap of parchment, and Gideon, a fourth year, had his hand on his younger brother's shoulder. James put his book down.
"How's your sister, Molly?" he asked.
The Prewetts were old friends of the Potters, and James saw the boys fairly frequently at family gatherings.
"She's fine" Gideon smiled, "more children than she knows what to do with, of course, but she doesn't mind"
"Good" James said, and meant it. There wasn't enough good news, these days.
Lily was pacing. Back and forth, back and forth. Four steps forward, turn, four steps the other way. The rhythmic sound her shoes made on the hard stone floor was nice. Comforting, like a metronome almost.
Click-clack. Click-clack. Click-clack. Click-clack. Squeak-shuffle.
Her Transfiguration textbook was clutched tight to her chest like a security blanket. Lily stared out the window for a moment, her rhythm slowing.
"Would you quit that?"
Anna, on the floor, was glaring up at her.
"Sorry"
"Study or something. Don't just – pace"
Lily dropped bonelessly to the ground with a messy sort of thud. Her long red hair was piled atop her head in an untidy bun, tendrils falling about her face.
She still heard the rhythm in her head. Click-clack. Click-clack.
They had found an abandoned classroom high up in the East Wing of the castle. It was small, and nearly empty, with only a few stacked tables and chairs. Huge windows overlooked the Forbidden Forest, and an owl flew by. Lily could see the small roll of parchment affixed to its scaly leg.
Anna claimed that the classroom 'put her in an atmosphere cohesive to learning'.
Lily just liked the cool breeze, and the cold stone floors.
She flattened her palms against the floor, feeling her heartbeat in her fingertips. Tick-tock. Tick-tock. Tick-tock. A clock.
Clocks wind down, she thought suddenly, and blinked. That was a strangely morbid thought.
Shaking her head, as if she could shake the thought away, she opened her Transfiguration book, sticking her nose right in the center of it.
A.N. Thank you for continuing to read! A Rise and Fall has had over 2000 views, which may not seem like much, but it's a lot to me, and it means so much. Thank you. Please let me know what you thought of the chapter! Reviews are treasured.
I feel like I wrote through this year a bit two fast... it just feels really condensed, so I'll try to slow it down for the next two. Have a lovely day!