Other than the devastating pain throbbing in his heart, Castiel was barely aware of anything else. He had no idea how long he sat on the floor of Robert Singer's study and wept into the arms of his husband. The image of his beloved son being ravaged by Darkness was plastered on every corner of his mind. Jude, Castiel and Dean's precious baby boy, was no longer himself. His body was being abused by a deadly entity that had been plotting the Earth's demise since before Castiel was even spoken into existence. It was as though Cas's greatest fear was realized. Just as it occurred in his nightmare – Jude had been snatched away from Castiel and there was virtually nothing the angel could do to get him back.
"What happened?"
Castiel heard Bobby's voice, but was too distraught to comprehend the words. The angel merely clung to the front of Dean's sand-covered shirt and attempted to calm himself.
"We took a trip to the beach and built sandcastles," Lucifer hummed sarcastically with a smile, "The hell do you think happened? That nephilim brat nearly took us down."
"It wasn't Jude," Jessica's voice snapped from the other side of the room, "Jude would never hurt a fly. It was that thing inside him."
"Darkness," Michael offered quietly.
"We have to get it out," Clarence stated firmly, "Right now. As fast as we can."
Lucifer chuckled hardily on the other side of the study. Castiel finally raised his head and looked over the hospital bed in an attempt to see what caused Lucifer's humorous reaction. There was nothing funny about Clarence's honest suggestion, yet the devil was laughing as if it were a joke. His reaction seemed to trigger anger in Clarence and Castiel, as well as Dean and Michael. The eldest archangel turned to glare daggers into his laughing brother.
"Lucifer, you are in a room with both Winchesters, three of your kin, and an emotionally compromised nephilim, all of which care deeply for the same being that you are insulting. And while your death would be a tremendous weight off my shoulders, I feel I must remind you, yet again, to think before you speak," Michael barked.
Lucifer continued to laugh for a moment, covering his mouth and looking around the room as if he was enjoying himself. But he eventually quieted down once Dean and Castiel rose to their feet and stood next to each other to glare at him in unison.
"Oh, my death isn't the only one coming," Lucifer purred, allowing his scarlet grace to twinkle in his eyes as he glanced among his company, "We're all dead. You know it too, Mike. Now that it has nephilim grace, Darkness is going to plow through us like a wrecking ball."
"No. I refuse to believe that horseshit," Clarence argued, "Everything has a weakness, and we're gonna find it's weakness and -"
"We were Darkness's only weakness," Michael nodded, gesturing between himself, Lucifer, and Gabriel, "but now that it has attached itself to something much stronger than us, there is nothing left to keep it in check -"
"Stronger than you?" Dean repeated, stepping forward with his mouth open and emerald eyes wide, "You mean, Jude is – is stronger than you?"
Castiel also looked across Adam's hospital bed to search his eldest brother's face. Though it seemed like Michael was deeply disturbed by the notion, the most ancient and powerful archangel in existence nodded firmly in defeat.
"Yes," he admitted, "Very much."
Castiel's sight drifted to his husband next to him, where they shared an equal gaze of awe. Hearing that their own son – the same boy that had started out as nothing more than a helpless fetus inside of Castiel's grace – was stronger than God's first, handmade archangel was a stunning thing to comprehend. Castiel was mostly proud to learn that Jude was powerful enough to put archangels in their place. But it also terrified him to the core. If Jude's grace truly possessed that much raw, untamed power, Darkness could use it to wipe away the entire galaxy with ease. The whole of God's divine creation would be lost. Earth, Heaven, Hell, all of it would be gone.
And judging by the tremors that rocked Bobby's Singer's house every few seconds, it wouldn't take Darkness long at all to complete the job.
"Well, what's the plan?" Sam asked from the doorway, his eyes gravitating to his older brother, "How do we stop it?"
"Ugh, you damn Winchesters just don't know when to give up, do you?" Lucifer hissed, "Can't you see it's pointless?"
"It's not pointless!" Clarence yelled, briefly hitting his fist against Bobby's bookshelf, "We're going to get Jude back if it kills us all!"
"Well, don't worry. You'll get what you wish for. Because it will kill you," Lucifer hummed.
"Alright, that's enough," Bobby hobbled in to say, tipping his hat up so that he could fully observe everyone in his home, "Look, I dunno about y'all, but I've been doin' some thinkin', and I'm pretty sure we won't be able to finish the job ourselves. It's time to call in the big guns."
"Big guns?" Gabriel scoffed, "Singer, all of Heaven's living archangels are standing right in front of you! We're the whole arsenal!"
"Nope," Bobby denied, turning to bring his gray eyes toward Castiel and Dean, "I mean the big one..."
From the look on Bobby's face alone, Castiel was able to decipher his meaning. God. The only being strong enough to free Jude and put an end to this insane chaos was God. The angels' father was their only chance of succeeding... The only problem was that no one had seen or heard from him since the day of everyone's wedding.
"Who?" Clarence asked, sounding lost, "Who's the big gun?!"
"God," Dean breathed in reply.
"I believe he prefers to be called 'Chuck' now," Crowley added smoothly.
Another loud howl of laughter came from Lucifer's side of the room. The devil scoffed and shook his head, pretending to dramatically wipe away a tear of humor from his eye.
"Oh, you guys are a riot," he grinned, "You really think dear-old-Dad will help you? The old man wouldn't even get off the shitter during the freaking apocalypse, what makes you think he gives a rat's ass about you now?"
"Because he's been back before, okay?" Gabriel snipped, his golden eyes narrowed toward Lucifer as he raised Sam's hand and his own, "See these wedding rings? We exchanged them right in front of him."
"Bullshit," Lucifer spat, his eyes flaring vibrant red again.
"He did it for all of us," Bobby added, clearly unafraid of the devil's spiking rage, "He stood in my junkyard and watched us all say vows -"
A red flash zoomed through the study, and Lucifer was suddenly pinning Bobby to the wall with his forearm. He pressed hard into the old man's chest and glared at him, leaning forward to growl angrily.
"Lying is a sin, Robert Singer," the devil hissed, "My Father would sooner kill entire continents of pathetic mortals that he created with his own two hands than to officiate a damn wedding for the likes of you."
As everyone converged toward Bobby to free him from Lucifer's grasp, Gabriel flew over to get there first. His hands lit with golden grace as he reached out to yank Lucifer away from Bobby. The old man coughed and rubbed his own chest as Gabriel stood defensively between him and the devil.
"He's not lying!" Gabriel shouted, "Dad was here, on Earth, with us. Just because it pisses you off, it doesn't make it untrue. Pout all you want, Luci, it doesn't change the fact that Dad came back for us. And not you."
Lucifer seethed toward Gabriel for a few extra moments, his eyes glowing brighter and fists clenching harder. Castiel was ready to flash over and defend Gabriel from Lucifer's wrath if he needed to. But, luckily, the devil slowly spun to face Michael instead. The two eldest archangels met eyes and Cas could tell that Lucifer was hoping for back up from his brother.
"Do you believe this shit, Mike?!" Lucifer demanded.
Castiel was almost certain that Michael was feeling the same type of betrayal that Lucifer was experiencing. After all, he, too, was left in the cage with Lucifer for quite some time. Everyone was expecting Michael to side with Lucifer in the argument about God. But, shockingly, a hint of calm surrender was written on Michael's face. His hand lifted to rest on the rail of Adam's hospital bed and he nodded slowly.
"Yes. I do," he admitted quietly.
Lucifer's hands went limp at his sides and he looked partially devastated. He, like everyone else, must have assumed that Michael would join his side. Castiel eyed his eldest brother from a distance, wondering what had caused him to behave in such an understanding way. Michael must have known that Lucifer would demand an explanation, so he quickly provided one.
"Come now, Lucifer, you already know the answer to this riddle," Michael murmured, "Even in the early days between Eden and Egypt, our Father only appeared to those who believed in him. Those who trusted and cared for him. Do you really think he would choose to appear before those of us who have caused such devastation and sin to his perfect Creation?"
"It's not perfect!" Lucifer shouted.
"And neither are we," Michael agreed gently, "We are corrupted and flawed, possibly beyond saving... but he will always come to those who call for him. He will appear and lend aid to those who look for the light he provides, because he cares for them."
"Jude."
Castiel turned to look at Dean beside him, who had practically croaked their son's name. Dean's face was very pale, lips dry and voice hollow. But his eyes were full of realization. He blinked vacantly for a moment, but then turned his gaze toward Michael.
"J – Jude made God come back. When he was three," Dean admitted, "I mean, he – he kept seeing Chuck everywhere. I thought he had an imaginary friend or something, but... Then Chuck actually appeared in the motel room and talked to us... If Jude could do it then, maybe he can do it now."
A rush of hope surged through Castiel's heart as he stared wondrously at his husband.
"Yes," the angel breathed, reaching over to lovingly cling to Dean's arm, "Yes, Jude has always had a special relationship with God. He can call on him for help to defeat the Darkness."
"What the hell is wrong with you people?!" Lucifer groaned, shifting around to glare at anyone close to him, especially Dean and Castiel, "Are you gonna start singing 'Kumbaya'?! That kid is nothing but a freaking vessel! Darkness might have his stupid face, but it is not your kid! It probably dissolved his soul already! There is no saving him! He's already dead!"
The sound of Lucifer's merciless taunt cut into Castiel's heart like a butcher's knife. The seraph was momentarily frozen in grief and fear a few feet from the devil, eyes beginning to glisten on their own. No. Jude was not dead. He couldn't be dead. Jude was Castiel's baby; his son, his purpose for living. And he had to be alive.
Of all the people in the room, Clarence was the first to move. The blonde demon bolted toward Lucifer, grabbed the front of his shirt with one fist, and began punching him with the other. It was such a quick action that Lucifer was too surprised to respond for the first two hits. Clarence's voice rang out with a cry of 'He's not dead!' But then, as expected, Lucifer's entire vessel glowed red in retaliation. The devil tossed the young demon away as if he were a small pebble, making him crash into the opposite wall of Bobby's study and crumble to the floor.
Luckily, Clarence was able to climb back up and face Lucifer with his demonic aura. And with Lucifer's grace exposed, Michael, Gabriel, and Castiel soon followed suit. The angels knew that Lucifer was unpredictable when agitated, and since they were in a room filled with their loved ones, a defensive stance was necessary. Once the initial shock had worn off, Castiel could feel fury flowing through his own veins. Archangel or not, Lucifer was in dangerous territory when it came to speaking ill of Castiel's beloved child.
"Ol noromi io-iad," Cas asserted boldly.
At first, as Lucifer and Castiel speared each other with their eyes, it seemed as though the devil was ready to attack. He lowered himself, bent his knees, and growled like an animal. But Castiel held his ground – as did the other people around him. Gabriel, Michael, and even Jessica were all aglow with grace, ready to protect and defend Castiel, Dean, and Clarence. The realization that so many people were joined against him must have been too much for Lucifer to handle, because his stance soon shifted from offense to defense. He glared around at all the faces pointed toward him, lingering on Castiel's the longest.
"Fine. You want to run headfirst into your own death? Be my guest," Lucifer muttered, "I choose to live while I can."
With a gust of wings, Lucifer fled Bobby's house, leaving everyone to glare toward a vacant space. Once Lucifer and his overwhelming presence was gone, the room grew dim. The other angels sheathed their graces and relaxed their poses, sinking into a solemn state. Unfortunately, with Lucifer out of the picture, Castiel knew that their chances of rescuing Jude would be even slimmer. But dwindling numbers and mounting danger aside, Dean's earlier suggestion had given Castiel hope. For a majority of his celestial existence, Castiel had unwavering faith in his heavenly Father. And now it was more important than ever for that faith to be restored properly.
With a brief exhale, Castiel soon tumbled to his knees and knelt by Adam's hospital bed. Though his body was trembling and anxiety was threatening to plague his mind, Cas brought his own hands together and rested his forehead on them.
"Father," he began to pray, "Please..."
You need to die.
Jude was so sick of hearing that phrase. He heard something like that every few minutes and it was really starting to wear him out. That voice in his head – that ugly, mean, rude voice that wouldn't shut up – it kept saying such hurtful things. But why? Why was it talking to him? Why did it want him to end his own life?
This body belongs to me now. You have no place here. Leave.
'I don't want to,' Jude mentally argued.
Of course, Jude still couldn't feel most of his body, so he had no idea if he was actually talking. It was like a crazy phenomenon where he was stuck in his own mind, having a subconscious conversation with a ghost inhabiting his body. It was weird and he didn't like it at all. Where was everyone else? Was Jessie safe? Did Michael and Lucifer get her to safety? Jude hoped so, but didn't know for sure. Man, he felt like he was sleep walking and couldn't wake up.
There is no reason for you to be alive.
'Stop saying that,' Jude murmured into the back of his head.
Ugh, he hated this! Jude hated being trapped with that thing! It was so unbelievably cruel! How could something so vile crawl into someone's mind and tell them to die like that? Jude didn't want to die. He just wanted to see his family again. He wanted to hug his parents and kiss Clarence. Things couldn't stay like this forever. Jude couldn't be stuck with his painful, ruthless voice for eternity... could he?
It's easier to give up. No more suffering. No more fighting. Just give up. Give. Up.
Jude could sense some type of heavy sheet attempting to cloud over his barely conscious soul. Like the dark voice was attempting to smother him from the inside. And the more it covered him... the more Jude was forced to endure memories of his past that haunted him. Not being able to fly like a real angel was the one that stuck out the most. He felt bad for not being able to live up to everyone's expectations of being a good flier, because Papa was so good. Jude always let everyone down or made things worse. Like that time he accidentally broke the polar bear exhibit at the zoo and ruined everyone's vacation. Or when he got himself and uncle Gabe kidnapped by that angel trap at the park. Or the look of utter heartbreak on Clarence's handsome face when Jude trapped him in Bobby's kitchen. It was all Jude's fault. All of it.
Give up.
After awhile, Jude started to forget why he was fighting in the first place. He was nearly convinced that Darkness was right. Giving up would be so easy. Fighting was so much harder. It took so much of his energy and willpower to keep fighting. Wouldn't it be easier to just let the Darkness take him? Besides, who would notice if he was gone? Who would care if he wasn't alive anymore? Things would probably be better if he wasn't around. He would never disappoint anyone else ever again. He couldn't hurt anyone either. Jude was sure that the world would be a better place without him... until he heard a familiar voice.
"Jude?" Jessie's soft whisper echoed to him like an underwater lullaby, "Can you hear me?"
Jude almost couldn't believe it. That wasn't Darkness talking. That was Jessie's voice! She was praying to him! Although the fog of Darkness was still heavy over his soul, Jude attempted to pray back.
'... Jessie?' he asked.
Jessica was barely aware that her parents were shifting her toward the kitchen table. She was in such a state of shock and pain that she couldn't quite comprehend the movement until she was seated in a chair. With the weight off her feet, Jessica finally blinked for the first time in a while and looked around. Papa was hovering behind her back with both hands on her shoulders, Dad was kneeling near the floor in front of her seat, and Oliver had scooted closer to her though his hand was still on top of his mom's shoulder nearby. Jessica's family was surrounding her in a cloud of love – but the notion also made her feel terrible, because she knew that Jude wasn't so lucky.
And it was all her fault.
If Jessica hadn't called for him, Jude wouldn't have tried to sacrifice himself. He would have been able to come back with their uncles and see his parents again. But now, Jude was a vessel for Darkness itself. He was trapped in his own body, forced to destroy the world with his own grace, and from everything Jessica just heard in the study, it sounded like there was nothing anyone could do about it.
Through the doorway, Jess could still see her uncle Cas kneeling on the floor and speedily praying at Adam's bedside. Dean had joined him on the floor and was rubbing Cas's back, but his eyes were vacant. He was too lost in his own emotions to really help Cas pray. Michael was standing like a protective beacon on the other side of Adam's bed, staring down at the unconscious guy with a pitiful look from above. Poor Clarence was a frantic mess, demanding answers and courses of action from Bobby, Crowley, and Rowena, but they told him that there was no spell strong enough to help. Everyone was out of options. And with Lucifer gone, their numbers were shrinking too. Jude's rescue party didn't have anything to go on – except the hope that grandpa Chuck might help.
"Do you think he'll come, Gabe?" Dad asked, staring up at Papa from his kneeling position.
"I don't know," Papa admitted soberly with his eyes on the floor, "I didn't think he would ever show up after I left home, but I was wrong. Hopefully, I'll be wrong again."
Dad nodded in response, just as another earthquake shook the house. Jessica closed her eyes and braced her hands on the table as the whole place rattled, wishing that she could do something to stop it. The tremors were getting longer and more violent, making it seem as though the entire Earth would cave into itself at any moment. With Jude's grace, Darkness could demolish everything in no time flat. And the thought made Jessica sick to her stomach. She hated this! Why didn't she see this coming?! Why didn't she try to stop this before it started?!
"Sam?" uncle Dean called from the study.
Jessica opened her eyes long enough to see her Dad get up and carefully journey into the study with Dean. The two of them talked quietly and Jessica could tell that uncle Dean's heart wasn't in his words. He was speaking and moving like a zombie, but after everything that had happened to poor Jude, it was understandable. With Dad in the study, Papa came around in front of Jessica to take his place. Pop knelt down in front of her and gently took both of her hands with his own. Though his golden eyes were bright, his smile was dim.
"Hey, kiddo," he murmured, tone much less joyful than Jess remembered, "How are you holding up?"
Jessica couldn't bring herself to talk. She only shook her head and bit her lip to hold back tears. She wasn't holding up very well at all and Papa could tell. He nodded a few times, making his shaggy blonde hair fall around his face, and tried his best to console her.
"I'm glad you're okay, you know," he mentioned, "There wasn't a second that passed by in Purgatory that I didn't think about you, baby rabbit. I was so worried that you were hurt. And now that I'm back here, I couldn't be more proud of you."
A tear slipped from the corner of Jess's eye. How could Papa be so proud of her when Jude's terrible situation was all her fault?
"I did this," she finally breathed, "I have to make it right. I have to help Jude... Is he still alive, Papa? Is he still in there?"
"Yes," Papa answered immediately, his voice full of certainty, "It might not seem like it from the outside, but Jude is still in there, sweetheart. He's alive and he's probably fighting."
Jessica wondered how much of that statement was actually true. She didn't know if Papa was being genuine or if he was just saying those things to keep her calm. His eyes were full of honesty, though, so maybe he was being truthful. Jess only wished that she could be that confident. She wanted to know that Jude was still alive; that his soul was still in his body somewhere and he was still fighting. Because he was her best friend and she wouldn't be able to go on without him.
"I just want to talk to him," Jess sniffled, using her damp, purple jacket sleeve to wipe away her hot tears, "I just want to tell him that we're trying to save him. And that I'm sorry."
"I know, Jessie," Papa cooed, squeezing her hands tight, "And you will. You and Jude are like two peas in a pod. You were always close, even before you were born."
Jess blinked away a few more tears to look back at her Papa properly. Before they were born? How in the world were Jude and Jess so close even before they were born?
"What do you mean?" she asked.
Another hard shake rattled the house, which made them cling to each others' hands and wait it out for a second, before Papa answered.
"When I was pregnant with you, Jude was just a baby. One day during the pregnancy, I was holding him, and he actually talked to you through my stomach. At least, I think you guys were talking. Some kind of made up baby language or something," Papa smiled a little, "Whatever he said made you really happy. I could feel the love too."
Papa's story made Jessica's heart melt. She had no idea that Jude was able to make her happy even before she was born! That was so sweet! And magical! Papa's smile widened as he looked at Jess, as if he could tell that the story made her feel better.
"Don't you worry, honeydew. We're gonna get him back," he said softly.
For the first time since Jude was taken, Jessica actually believed that they would get him back. If Jude could talk to an unborn baby and make God appear out of thin air, he could do anything. Even defeat the Darkness.
"Gabe," Dad called from the study, getting both Papa and Jess's attention, "Can you put a protection spell around the house?"
Papa looked back at Jessica, gave her a comforting wink, and gently kissed her fingers before letting go to get up from the floor and talk with Dad. It seemed like the adults were trying to figure out a way to stabilize the house and keep it safe from the destruction outside. Jessica watched her parents and uncle Dean from a distance, and her eyes slowly drifted down to uncle Cas beyond them. Cas was still kneeling next to Adam's bed with his hands together, praying faithfully to his Dad for help. And watching him pray so fiercely gave Jessica an idea...
If Jude could talk to her from anywhere, even outside the womb, maybe he could talk to her from where ever he was now...
Anxious to see if it would work, Jessica quickly turned toward the kitchen table, braced her elbows on the flat surface, positioned her hands over her ears, and closed her eyes so that she could concentrate. Using as much grace and positivity as she could muster, Jess tried sending out a simple message. To make sure it would work, she even whispered it out loud under her breath.
"Jude?" she asked, throwing the message toward her cousin's very soul, "Can you hear me?"
After she spoke, Jessica listened closely to any sound that might come her way. For a second, it seemed as though her plan didn't work. Was Jude in a place where he couldn't hear her? Did Darkness trap him inside his own head? Or worse – what if he really was gone?! Jessica hoped with all of her heart that she would hear Jude talk back. And then, very faintly, his voiced appeared inside her head.
"... Jessie?" he asked.
Jessica's eyes flew open and she sucked in a shrill gasp. Jude answered her! He heard her prayer! Jude was still alive! Jessie looked at all the people around her, feeling like she was on the verge of exploding with excitement.
"Hey!" she shouted to the rest of her family, "Hey, I – I can hear him! I talked to him! I just prayed to Jude!"
Every open eye in the house met Jessica with varying degrees of shock. A single tick of the clock went by before Dean and Clarence stormed toward the kitchen table to meet Jessica with hopeful expressions, but uncle Cas beat everyone there. He flew to Jessica's side and took her shoulders to zero her focus on him first.
"You heard Jude speak?!" he breathed.
Jess nodded quickly, but her attention was soon diverted to everyone else who started calling out questions and requests.
"Is he okay?" uncle Dean asked, "Tell him we're here!"
"Tell him to fight it, Jess. Tell him to get it out," Dad pleaded.
"What did he say?!" Clarence shouted, gently shoving Papa out of the way so that he could come closer to see Jess's face.
"Whoa, whoa, give her a second," Ollie barked loudly.
Jess's red-haired boyfriend held out a defensive hand toward everyone as if he was trying to help Jessica keep her personal space. And once everyone respectfully settled, his lovely chocolate eyes turned to meet her stare.
"Go ahead," he prompted, offering her a chance to speak.
Jessie gulped, feeling grateful for Ollie's help on calming everyone's chaos.
"I, um, I only asked him if he could hear me and he said yes," she admitted.
"Try it again, Jessica," uncle Cas asked sincerely, kneeling down to take her free hand, "Please, let him know that we are all here. Tell him that we love him and we are trying to find a way to help him."
Although she sort of felt like she was in a spotlight, Jessica did what her uncle asked. She bowed her head and closed her eyes to concentrate again, trying to clear her mind enough to get her message through. Instead of talking out loud, Jessica simply kept the words in her mind this time.
'Yeah, it's me,' she prayed, answering Jude's earlier question, 'Jude, I'm here with everyone. They're all excited to hear that you're okay!'
"Everyone?" Jude asked back, "Who?"
Jessica opened one eye, scanning all of the eager and loving faces in front of her. They were all hovering around her and waiting to hear the verdict, but Jess wanted to be as precise as possible.
'Your parents, my parents, our uncles, Ollie, Clarence – everyone, Jude. Even Ms. Jane and Dickie,' Jessica prayed back, 'They're all here and they love you very much. We're trying to find a way to help you reclaim your body.'
"Reclaim my body?" he repeated again, sounding so bland, "What's wrong with it?"
Jess found that question a little weird. Did Jude not know about what happened? Did he not know that he was being used as a vessel?
'Darkness is possessing you,' she answered as gently as possible, 'It's trying to destroy the world with your grace, Jude. But since you're still in there, you can stop it.'
"Actually, no," Jude replied instantly, "I can't. It's too strong."
"What is he saying, Jessica?"
Jess opened her eyes again at the sound of uncle Cas's frantic voice. By now, her personal space was being invaded by everyone's anxious faces again. They were leaning far forward, desperate to know how Jude was doing.
"He – he says he can't stop Darkness from the inside because it's too strong," Jessica admitted to her family.
"That's entirely absurd," uncle Crowley barked from the back, "Jessica, kindly remind that child that he is the son of Castiel and Dean Winchester, and that his grace outshines even that of Heaven's deadliest archangel."
Though she was a bit overwhelmed by everyone's chatty murmurs, Jessica closed her eyes to speak with her cousin again.
'Jude, you can do anything,' she prayed, rephrasing Crowley's encouraging remarks, 'You're Superman, remember? You saved me! And you can save the world! You're a hero!'
"No, I'm not," Jude's voice was so frail and pitiful in Jess's mind, "I'm not anything, Jessie. I'm nothing. That other voice in my head keeps telling me to die... Maybe I should..."
"No!" Jessica shouted, both in her head and out loud.
"What?! What is it?!" Dean asked.
Jessica opened her eyes and looked among her family again, seeing fear starting to rise up on their faces again. How could she possibly tell them what she just heard?
"Jude said..." she trailed off, feeling terrified, "He said that maybe he should..."
Jessica couldn't force the last word out. It was just too painful. Instead, she went back into her mind and tried to talk Jude out of his crazy thoughts.
'No, Jude, you can't die! Please don't give up!' she nearly begged, 'Don't let Darkness make you feel that way! Your family needs you, Jude! We all love you with all of our hearts! And we're going to find a way to help you kick the Darkness out of your body! You're not a vessel, Jude! You're my brother and my best friend!'
"You're my best friend too, Jessie," Jude prayed, "and I'm so sorry... but you don't know what it's like in here. It's awful and I wouldn't wish it on anyone... I'll try to hold on... but if I don't make it, please tell everyone that I'm sorry, okay? Tell them that I tried – "
'Jude!' Jessie whimpered.
" – and that I love them all. It's no one's fault but mine," Jude finished.
'Jude!' Jess called again, 'This is crazy! Why are you talking like that?!'
Even though Jess's prayer rang out toward her cousin, Jude didn't reply anymore. Her graceful voice was bouncing back to her as if the mental room she and Jude had been sharing was vacant now. She called out to him a few more times but her awareness was eventually pulled back to Bobby's kitchen, where Ollie was lightly shaking her shoulders.
"Jessie," he gulped, zeroing his sight on her eyes, "Are you okay? Tell us what's happening."
As soon as she looked up at Ollie's familiar face, Jessica let out a sob and buried herself into his warm, comforting arms. How was she supposed to tell her family what she just heard? How could she break Dean and Cas's hearts like that? How could she look at Clarence and tell him that Jude was thinking about giving up?!
"What is it?" uncle Cas nearly demanded, his voice cracking a bit, "Jessica, please."
"He... He wants to g – give up," Jessica stammered, keeping her face toward Ollie's chest because she couldn't bare to look anyone in the eye, "He's not gone, but he can't – he can't fight it much longer. He wouldn't listen to me! He shut me out!"
Silence occupied the kitchen, other than the quite shuddering of furniture from the continuous earth tremors. Jessica was too afraid to turn around and look, but she was sure that her family was heartbroken. No one said anything for what seemed like a very long time. Until Michael's voice entered from the study. It was calm and comforting; the same tone that Papa used to use when he told Jess a bedtime story in her youth.
"Jude is a very strong soul," the archangel hummed lightly, "If anyone else were in his situation, they would have wasted away by now... but he is a Winchester. And if there is one thing I've learned about Winchesters," he paused to glance back at Adam's unconscious body laying in the hospital bed behind him with fondness, "It is that they never. Ever. Stop. Fighting... Yes, the circumstances seem dire and hopeless. And yes, I know that this may sound strange coming from someone who has never been welcome in your family... But I have faith in Jude Winchester. Not because of what he is, but because of who he is. Loyalty, selflessness, love, courage – these traits that your family has perfected for generations have all trickled down to Jude. He is the embodiment of what it means to be a Winchester. And while I can't offer much assistance in this crisis, I vow that I will see to it that he makes it back into the safety of your care. Because he deserves it."
Jessica felt her lungs fill with a deep, relieving breath after Michael's small speech. He said the one thing that everyone needed to hear in that moment, and they received it with dutiful encouragement.
Every soul in Bobby's house was going to fight for Jude until he was free.
(Author's Note: "Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light" (- Albus Dumbledore.) … ;) So, yeah. Things still look kind of bleak right now, but I promise that this is the lowest point in the story. Everything will get better from here. ;) Heck, we've already seen Clarence punch two different archangels in the face, I think things are already getting better. Lol! XD (Clare: "I punched 2 archangels in the face!" Jude: "Cool. I killed one when I was ten." Clare: "...Showoff.") XD For those wondering, Cas's Enochian near the beginning translates as: "My son lives." Because even Mama Bear Cas knows his baby hasn't given up yet. ;D I hope that the whole 'depression' motif isn't too distracting or dramatic for you guys. I just know that sometimes, when you're stuck in the pit of depression, you can't even find the motivation to listen to the people you love. (like when Jude shut Jessie out.) Darkness might think it has a jump on our baby boy, but its in for a rude awakening. ;) Oh! And where did uncle Luci go, I wonder? Will he be back? Hmm. Only time will tell, I suppose. ;D I'm glad that most of you have stuck around this far into the story! Because things are about to get much better in the next chapter! And it's going to start off in Clarence's pov! :D Thank you guys sooo much for being there for me! You will always be my source of light in the darkness. ;) The next chapter will be out soon! :)
GeekGirlForLife, Haha! Oh my Chuck, I know right? This Darkness sucks just as much as (if not more than) Amara. Not sure which is worse. XD But as bad as it seems right now, things will be that much better in the next chapter. I promise. ;) And how did I react when Gabriel came back on the show? I think my exact words were: "AHHHHH" and then a bunch of random moose noises. Lol! XD I couldn't be more happy that our favorite trickster is back! And having so much screen time with his boyfriend/lover/soulmate Samsquatch! :D It's canon, right? Lol, a girl can dream. XD Thank you so much for reading and reviewing, darlin! I hope you have a lovely weekend! :)
Deanstiel's Daughter, Oh, darlin, you are absolutely right. The gang might be back together, but they're not able to do much about this situation. And I'm so glad that you like the depression metaphor! As most people with depression come to realize, (and Jared has said this many times,) No one can help you but yourself. That's kind of the same set up I wanted in the story, too. The only way Jude will be able to defeat Darkness is if he decides to do it. Of course he will have as much help from his family as possible, but in the end, it will be his own willpower that helps him overcome it. :) I don't know if you caught it, but I kind of paraphrased your comment into Michael's lil speech at the end there. 'Belief, strength, courage, love' those are all Winchester traits, too. And, oddly enough, its also what it takes to defeat Darkness. So thank you for that! :D And I'm sorry to hear that the cold weather has taken over the beach yet again. (I guess life really is a beach, eh? Lol) XD And I'm even more glad to hear that you're writing and publishing again! I hope the muses stay around for you as well! :D Darlin, thank you so much for your understanding and encouragement, and for reading and reviewing! I hope you have a lovely (and warm) weekend! :)
Ashley Allen 46, *offers you a warm blanket, steaming tea, and the first edition copy of Casa Erotica: The Taming of the Moose* I am soooo sorry for all the feels, darlin! It was hard for me to write the part with Dean and Darkness, too. :( I know that we are in the darkest part of the story right now, (no pun intended. Lol,) but I promise that things will be all the better in next week's chapter! :) Happiness and fluff are on the way! The storm is almost over and that rainbow is nearly in sight! :D Thank you sooo much for reading and reviewing each week, darlin! I hope you have a lovely weekend! :)
Jawn Lennon Aid, Oh, I think we all have had our fair share of being possessed by Darkness at one point or another. But like you said, Jude's family will always be there to pour on the light and help him defeat it! :D Ammut, Anpu, Sekhmet, and Heru are so freaking awesome! I think Sekhmet and Heru have the best points. "Light will always vanquish that which is not" "This Darkness shall learn fear as the light spreads to every dark corner!" Gah, such good quotes! :D (Clarence: "I like these guys. Maybe we should recruit them." Gabe: "Hey! I think between me, Mike, and Luci, we have enough ancient cosmic beings, okay?" Michael: *takes a look around at Bobby's pitiful house* "We could always use more.") XD And hon, I totally feel the same way about Jude being the one with the Darkness! I picked him to bear it because he was the only one that could bear it, you know? (I think Chuck does that irl; he gives the hardest stuff to only the people who can take it.) ;) I'm just so happy that you like the story so far, darlin! *hugs* Thank you so much for always reading and reviewing! I hope you have a lovely weekend! Talk to you again soon! :)
gothichic, Hey there, my most beautiful and wonderful SPN bestie! Gah, there you go again making my face turn all red! *hides face behind a stack of Sam's books and Gabe's candy wrappers* XD I take it as both my duty and pleasure to take you on whirlwind adventures! (as emotional and painful as they might become. Lol) :D Aww, I think we were all in that same boat, darlin. Dean was so upset about his lil boy being trapped by Darkness! And, holy-double-trickster-sundae-being-eaten-by-a-moose, you are so right! Dean did feel like his promise to Cas was broken! (man, you've really been paying attention! See? This is why you're so amazing. Lol) XD Mama bear Cas was not about to leave his baby out there with the Darkness! He went straight for him, but it's a good thing Michael came and flew him and Dean to safety. Otherwise, they would have been swallowed by that huge wave. Oh, I wish that I could have told Dean, Cas, and Clare that it was just a bad dream, too. But you're right, Jude didn't have any control over it. It was all Darkness trying to hurt Dean and Cas. Their Jude is trapped way down deep in his mind. His family just needs to reach down in there and pull him out with their love. (Especially Clarence, am I right? Somebody tell that boy to get a move on!) ;D Judging by how Clarence reacted in this chapter to Lucifer, I'm pretty sure he's bound and determined to find his own way of fixing things. ;) The feels and angst won't be so bad, now. Things will be getting better in the next chapter! (you know what I mean! Yay!) XD I'm so excited to get to it! And I hope you enjoy it when it gets here, too! :D Darlin, I can't thank you enough for always being there for me and cheering me on. You are seriously one of the best people that I know, and I'm proud to have you as a light in my darkness! *hugs* Sweetheart, you're the best! Thank you so much for everything that you do! I hope that you enjoyed this new chapter! (especially the parts with Clare. lol) Love ya, girl! Talk to you again soon! :)