Several nights later I was beginning to think I had made a serious error of judgement. William had continued to allow Alex to share his bed but he had not fed from her since our conversation about the dangers of this action, the addictive nature of the pleasure of being fed from. I was not the only one to notice this. His friend Gerry had begun suggesting that he arrange for volunteer blood donors to provide a food supply for them, although he himself appeared to be well supplied by his own human lover.

There was a plentiful supply of synthetic blood in the house. After all, William and the rest of the Authority were putting forward a mainstreaming agenda which involved vampires drinking the synthetic. But we all knew that, although vampires could survive on Tru Blood, it was not as nourishing as the real thing, nor did it taste anything like as good. Then one night Alex brought the situation to a head herself one evening after a particularly difficult and long drawn out meeting. She lay in his arms, her warm breath brushing gently and rhythmically over his skin and she nuzzled at his shoulder. I could feel the little shivers, aftershocks of their lovemaking, running through her body.

"What's wrong darling?" she murmured. "I know you're hungry..."

William lay on his back, his arm around her shoulders and stared up at the ceiling for a moment, I could feel him trying to put his confused thoughts into words.

"I...I can't. Not after everything that's happened...every time I think of it, when I imagine myself feeding from you, all I can see are those cells...those people, kept there as food." He gave a sigh. "I know that everyone who comes here, human and vampire, thinks that is why I keep you with me...for food. I know that Lilith believes that. They think that I advocate peaceful co-existence, that I push forward the mainstreaming agenda, persuade other vampires to drink Tru Blood, and at the same time I keep a human girl in my home to feed from myself. What does that make me Alex? A hypocrite of the worst kind!"

Hmmm, nice excuse! But I was sure that was not the real reason, or at least, not the whole of it. I knew that he was telling the truth, he really did feel that he was acting a little hypocritically although I couldn't see it myself. After all, it wasn't as if he had dragged her in off the street! It appeared that Alex also realised that William's explanation did not quite ring true. She put her arms around him and laid her dark head on his chest.

"Oh come on Bill, if you kept me chained up in the cellar to feed from, then you would be a hypocrite. But you don't, they know that. I could leave at any time. I've not been glamoured and kept here against my will. For heaven's sake you don't even feed from me any more!" She looked up at him, but he wouldn't meet her eyes. "That's not all of it is it?" she asked. "There's something more?"

She was sharp!

He sighed and looked down at her. "It's Lilith" he admitted with a sigh. "She thinks that, deep down, I regard you as prey, that if I continue to feed on you that it will prove that is all you are to me. She thinks that I have drawn you in, made you addicted to being fed on...and she's right, it's what we do."

I sighed, he was supposed to feel this, that had been my intention, but not to tell her! The idiot!

"What!" Alex sat up and gaped at him in surprise. "You believed her!"

"But it's true Alex" he said quietly. "You enjoy it...don't you?"

I was interested to see that she looked distinctly uncomfortable at this question. However she did not deny it, as I had rather expected her to do.

"Well...yes. But that's not the only reason, you know that. I want to feed you, you need it, you know you do..." She reached out and stroked his pale cheek gently. "You're hungry...and I love you..." She pushed him gently onto his back and climbed astride him, shifting her body carefully to allow him to ease himself back inside her. I could feel the little shudder run through him as she moved herself forward, tightening muscles deep inside her to squeeze him, hold him. I felt William's reaction as a fresh surge of lust as he suddenly reared up holding her firmly by the hips and rolled over so that she lay crushed beneath him in the pillows. His long curved fangs were fully extended and he lowered his head to her neck and began to lick hungrily at her throat. He paused and looked down into her eyes.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"Yes Bill, yes I'm sure."

I felt him hesitate for a moment still, and then he relaxed. However, despite his hunger he bit gently down and then sealed his lips around the wounds and drank with the same care that I had noticed when he fed from the red haired girl who was given to him at Darius's house. After a few mouthfuls he pulled back and looked down at her again.

"Are you okay?" he whispered.

"Yes, yes, I'm fine" she murmured softly. Her eyes had rolled back a little and even I could feel her deep pleasure flowing through the blood bond.

He bent his head and drank again and, although he was careful not to take too much, just enough to slake his thirst, I knew that my scheme had failed. Alex lay back on the pillows as he licked tenderly at the little wounds, careful not to waste a drop of her precious blood.

There was no more talking, evidently there was no need for words as they relaxed into each other's arms and drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

I felt William wake with the dusk.

"Feeling better now?" I asked cynically.

"Much better thank you."

"Do you really think it was a good idea to tell her about your worries that she would become addicted to the feeding? I couldn't believe that you would be so stupid!"

"I had promised her that I would always be honest with her. And why should I lie to her?"

"Surely it would have been better for her not to know that? There are things about us that it's best for mortals not to know, for their own sakes!"

"You really believe that? That I should have lied to her for her sake?"

"Yes!" I said firmly. "It would have been for her own good!"

I could feel William's smile. "No Lilith" he murmured softly. "Lying to someone can never be for their own good."

I chuckled to myself. "You really think she never lies to you?"

"I know she would never lie to me!"

I thought I knew better, but then suddenly I remembered their conversation of the previous night. He had asked her if she enjoyed being bitten and I had seen her discomfort at his question. She didn't want to admit it, she had been embarrassed to admit it, but she had. I had expected her to deny it, to pretend that she offered herself to him only for his sake, but she hadn't. Could he be right? Surely not!

"I know that's not a good idea" he said patiently. "Lying to people, or witholding information, however much it seems a good idea at the time, never works. The truth always comes out in the end."

"Most mortals can't handle the truth!"

"Well Alex is different! I've been so busy lately" said William thoughtfully, "I should make more time for her, I owe her that after all she's done for me."

"Why do you think that you owe her anything? She is merely a mortal, she is of no consequence to us surely? You are a highly intelligent vampire William. You are of great use to me, but I cannot understand this excessive concern for a human."

"I will always be concerned for her, so you had better get used to it! Besides, we have to deal with humans so perhaps you should try to understand them a little better. You've been there during all the Authority's negotiations after all. Do you have no contribution to make?"

"I would not lower myself to negotiate with humans. They are beneath contempt."

"Oh Lilith...why can you not see the good in them. Those who killed you probably only did so out of fear, and they are long gone, can you not forgive them?"

I remained silent. Forgive them? How dare he suggest such a thing?

"Oh well, perhaps in time you will change."

I was suddenly furious with him. "How dare you! I was brought into existence by the word of the Almighty and you would have the arrogance to think that you can change me! I do not change, I will never change!"

He winced at the sudden pain my anger caused him but replied mildly, "You have not changed because you have not really existed before. You have not had physical form for many thousands of years. But now that you have, maybe things will be different."

"Why would you think this?"

"Because everything changes Lilith, whether it wants to or not. Existing in this world changes you, interacting with others changes you. You grow, you learn new things."

"I was created with all the knowledge in existence." I replied stubbornly.

"All the knowledge that was in existence then perhaps, but a lot has changed since. Do you not want to learn new things?" He sounded genuinely curious.

I was silent at this, considering. I had to reluctantly admit that he was right. In the short time in which I had lived in him I had learned that the world had changed. Indeed it was almost unrecognisable as the world I had known. However I had no intention of letting him know this if I could possibly keep it from him! I felt sure that, just as I knew what was in his mind, so he knew what was in mine. It was for this reason that I deliberately began to irritate him, to prevent him from seeing into my mind. And I knew just how to do it...

"Perhaps you are right, on consideration I have learned something new. I have learned that your little pet can give us the most exquisite pleasure."

I could feel his annoyance at this.

"But she is merely mortal William. You are so much stronger than her, especially now. Are you not concerned that you will damage her, perhaps irreparably?"

"Yes! That is why I am very careful not to do so."

"But William, I've said this before. If you were to have sex with another vampire you would not have to worry about this. You have done so in the past haven't you?"

He rolled over and buried his face in the pillow.

"That won't help William, you are not hearing me with your ears!"

"I know that!" He snapped.

I continued to needle him. "Lorena now, your maker. Sex with her was...fiery, rough...you enjoyed that didn't you?"

"Will you please go away? And stop rummaging through my memories!"

I chuckled to myself, he was so sensitive! "Then there was Claudia and Anastasia...she taught you much my friend and...what's this, Berenice? My Berenice? You had my Guardian? Oh you bad, bad boy! To distract her from her sacred duty! And such a distraction too, No wonder she waited for your arrival before performing the ceremony."

"Stop this right now!"

William sat up and slipped quietly out of the bed so as not to wake Alex. "We have a meeting this evening with Charles Montague and the Secretary of State and you will take notice of what is said, give me the benefit of your thoughts on the matter and not leave everything to me. Is that understood?"

Suddenly the tables were turned. It was I who was annoyed. " You do not give me orders William!"

"Then what will you do?" He snapped.

"Spend the rest of eternity hiding out in my head, unable to affect anything? I thought you wished to lead our kind. Don't you think it's time you started?"

There was an awkward silence during which I realised with some irritation that he was right...again!

"I will consider your request."

William sighed and stepped into the shower.