Chapter 11: Relief

AN: OHMYGOD FINALLY! I've been trying to upload this chapter since Monday and i wasn't able to! Well anyway what matters is it's here now! I hope you enjoy it and sorry to keep you all waiting! (Blame the computer!) :D

Disclaimer: I don't own VA, Richelle Mead does!

**Rose's POV**

"What was that about?" I asked Abe as soon as we got into the car.

He smiles apologetically; "Sorry couldn't help myself" he shrugs.

I shook my head, "Next time, old man. Do think before you call me 'little girl', eh?" I scold.

"Well I have to make it sounds real! And when parents are in a horrible pain like losing their daughter, they don't really think." Abe argues.

I just laugh and then decided to check the bond, when I only feel worry and sadness coming from Lissa I supposed Dimitri already told her about the news…

I lay my head back against my seat and let myself relax. I did the right thing, I try to convince myself. But a part of me is telling me that what I did—was too much. If it was Dimitri in reverse and I found out that he was dead…I would—I think I would follow him shortly. But then again, he is the one who made me do this, I remind myself. If he hadn't said what he had…we would be having such a great time together.

"So, what are you planning to do next?" Abe asked, distracting me from my reverie.

"I'm not really sure…but I can't stay—" I stop when Abe gave me the glare.

"And why not?" he asked.

"You know, since you were the one who announced my uh—supposed-to-be death. In the future—near future—I wouldn't be surprised if Dimitri, Lissa or Janine decided to pay you a visit." I said, "And unless you haven't already figured out, I don't wish to be around when they do so."

Abe is clearly amused, "Well, damn. The least you could do is warn me that your mother might be coming so I could—"

I guffawed, "Ha! Don't tell me you are afraid of mom"

Abe gave me an 'are you insane' look, "Everyone is afraid of your mother, Rose."

I continue laughing, "Gee, and here I thought you were the fearless mafia father."

Abe just shook his head in defeat.

"Oh and for the record, old man. I prefer the 'sensitive' you to this mafia-daddy you" I joked and Abe sighs.

We arrived at his penthouse and I went to my room to pack my stuff. I was almost done when the bell to the penthouse rings.

I heard Abe's footsteps as he walked passed my room to get the door. Shortly afterwards followed by a voice that sent chills through my body, a voice that froze me right where I was standing…a voice I would recognized anywhere. Dimitri.

I heard Abe's sharp intake of breath, so I supposed he's as shocked to see Dimitri as I was. But unlike me, Abe soon recovered.

"Guardian Belikov. What a surprise." Abe said coolly.

"I'm sorry to disturb you, Mr. Mazur" Dimitri said politely, and then his voice turns into a whisper, "I heard about the news…"

I'm sweating all over. What am I gonna do? I slowly peek out of my room, luckily Dimitri has his back to me, his dark hair hung loose behind his shoulder, I could feel tears stinging my eyes, seeing him like this brought back so much memory. Not the time, Rose! A voice I my head whisper furiously. I quickly wipe my eyes with the back of my hand and to my relief, I caught Abe's attention. I wave frantically as if saying 'get him out of here so I can escape!' Thanks to Abe's smartness, he understood.

"Why don't we talk about it in my office?" Abe suggested. And with that they both walk away in the other direction. I almost scream in relief. Quietly, I closed the door and quickly grab the rest of my clothes and shoved them in my duffle bag.

In less than a minute I'm finished. I poke my head out and to my relief, the room was clear. Running with lightning speed, I got to the elevator in less than two seconds. As soon as the elevator doors shut, all my worries came back. I don't think it's very smart of me to leave Abe alone with Dimitri. What if Abe—NO! He couldn't—he wouldn't! He promised. It's too late to worry now anyway so I just pray that my—uh what did I call him again? Oh, right, mafia-daddy—would keep to his promise. Somehow, that thought doesn't relax me a bit.

As soon as I'm out on the streets again, I feel overwhelmed by so many emotions! First of all, Dimitri is in there! For god's sake! It's Dimitri in there. It didn't occur to me until now how much I've missed him. His voice, his sexy, Russian accent and oh, his familiar scent of aftershave. All I want to do is to go back in there and confront him, let him take me back to the academy—let him take me anywhere, just so that I could be close to him—but I know that would be a bad, bad idea. So instead, I got on a taxi and try to calm myself down.

After taking a few deep breaths, I can concentrate on what I am going do again. I can't risk being here any longer given I am in a great risk of Dimitri finding me. As soon as he exits those double doors of the building, I know he'll spot me. And I know him well enough to know that he'll chase after my taxi if that's what he has to do to get me.

And then just like that, an idea popped into my head.

I bend forward and tell the driver our next stop. He nods and I lean back just in time to feel the car speeding away.

**Abe's POV''

I can't believe that bastard had the nerve to show up here! After what he did to Rose, my face should be the last sight he wants to see! But here he is, sitting in my office, looking comfortable in my couch. It just confused me.

"What is it, Belikov?" I got straight to the point without even bother trying to be polite.

He flinches, but soon composed himself, "I'm here about Rose…"

"What about her?" I snapped. You know I'm not usually mean to people, but this guy here hurts my daughter—put her through a living hell—there's no way I'm letting him go easily.

He didn't look me in the eyes, "The news, she can't—she can't be gone—"

"—well she is. Rose is gone. Thanks to you, who made her runaway in the first place." I cut him off.

Dimitri looks as if he's on the verge of tears, "I know that I hurt her. And there's not a day that I don't regret what I did. But she can't be gone…I don't—I don't believe it." He didn't sound at all hopeful to me, just desperate.

"What makes you say that?" I asked, sounding somewhat amused.

"Faith…" he starts, "I have faith in her—those strigois…I know she must have been able to take care of them. I just know." He said, even though he's sitting right here, it's as if his mind is really far away.

Well that clearly isn't what I've been expecting. "Oh?" was all I said.

"I know, Mr. Mazur, that you probably hate me for what I did to Rose, I don't blame you, because I also hate myself. But…if it's not too much to ask—I would, I would want to tell her the truth…" the last part came out barely a whisper.

The truth? What truth…? But that's not what came out of my mouth next, "Well don't you think it's a little bit too late for that?" I asked; sarcasm laced my voice like poison.

"No, if I could just see her body—talk to her. I think she'll hear me…somehow." Dimitri seems hopeful for the first time.

Oh no, that was even more unexpecting. "I'm sorry, what are you saying?" I asked even though I already understood.

"I'm asking you if I could see Rose—her body?" Dimitri said patiently, like he could say it thousand more times if that's what it takes.

"No." I said quickly without thinking, then I realized that it was a mistake. He might get the idea that Rose was still alive. But is he that clever? I didn't want to risk it and find out. "What I meant was, no her body isn't here. It's umm—what do you call it—being examined?" I managed to say it without looking suspicious.

Dimitri nods slowly as if he's trying to process what he just heard, "Examine? For what? I thought you said she was killed by the strigois." He flinched at the word 'killed'.

"Yes, of course I said that. But still—it's their process to examine dead bodies. It's written in the law…" I silently swore at myself, I'm getting off topic and I hope I don't sound stupid.

Dimitri said nothing for a while, like he's lost in thoughts. Then he seems to remember the purpose of him risking his life coming here in the first place so he asked, "When's the funeral?"

Shit!

"I haven't decided yet." Dimitri seems confused by my answer, "it's too painful to accept that she's really gone and think of anything further…" I said blankly.

Dimitri nods, "I understand…" somehow I doubt it.

"If that's all, I'm afraid I have somewhere to be…" I hint.

Of course Dimitri understood, he stood up, "Thanks for your time, Mr. Mazur." He was about to walk out the door when he turned around, "And for what it's worth, I really am sorry for the pain I've caused Rose." For some reasons, I can't seem to understand, he really looks sorry. I can literally see pain reflects in his brown eyes.

I nod, "I understand your pain." My voice softens down a tone. As much as I want to kill him for hurting Rose, I feel like I can see pain whenever he mentions Rose's name. Like it's a dagger through his heart. Is it possible that after all he had said to Rose, he still feels something for her? Something that he only realized after she's gone? And Rose, I don't think she's over him, or ever will be. Whenever she mentions Dimitri, tears glisten in her eyes. It's true I don't know her that well, but I know enough to know that Rose isn't someone who gives her heart away easily. True, she messed around all the time but when it comes to love, she takes it even more seriously than her career as a guardian—and that is consider a lot. Before Rose told me that Dimitri broke up with her, I thought they were going to get marry, I thought they were soulmates. And to be completely honest? I still think they are. I remember my time with Janine. Rose was just like her mother; stubborn, bad-ass and not to mention, complete mind-blowing. Sure, we've gone through some rough paths, but at the end of the day, we love each other more than anything. And love always makes everything alright. So that's the reason I asked him the next question, "Do you still love her?"

He froze in his steps. Dimitri didn't turn to face me but I can see him giving a small nod. Then he was out of the room before I could respond.

I just stood there, phone in my hand but for the first time, Abe Mazur doesn't know what to do.

**Rose's POV**

It's almost seven in the evening when the taxi came to a stop in front of a familiar looking house. I paid the driver and got out, my duffle bag slung over my back. As soon as the taxi drove away, out of sight, I walk to the door and give it a light knock.

Nothing.

I knocked again, a little louder and faster this time—still, nothing.

I guess nobody's home. I'm about to turn around when I hear someone running towards the door. I stopped and a second later the door opens to reveal Oksana, a ladle in her right hand.

"Rose?" She practically yelled. And then before I could respond, I was in her arms. "Ohmygod Rose! But I thought—" before she could finished, Mark came running from somewhere inside the house, a look of alarmed written all over his face.

"Oksana—" he abruptly stopped as soon as he saw me. "Rose!" he said, just as loud as Oksana was before. And then he wraps his arms around Oksana, who is already hugging me.

Finally, when Oksana pulled away, I could see that she's been crying.

"Oksana?" I asked.

"I heard the news, I thought you were dead!" she sounds horrified.

I laugh, "Wow, I never knew I was that special" there goes my cockiness again.

I swear that was a dead glare Oksana just gave me. I put my hands up in defeat. "I had to do it…" and then I told them the whole story.

Oksana and Mark listened very carefully and quietly. Oksana gasps and covers her mouth when we reached the part where Dimitri said those painful words. "Oh god, Rose I'm so sorry…" she hugs me. And I feel myself crying. Asides from Lissa and the Belikovs, Oksana is the closest person I have to a family. So just knowing that she cares and loves me this much makes me cry.

"So you see that's why I had to do it. I didn't—I didn't think about how it will affect other people who cares about me back then and I'm so sorry." I said to both of them.

"We understand…" they both said and I feel my heart swells, I've never known how meaningful those two words could be, when spoken like you really mean it.

"But don't you think it's just…weird how all of sudden Dimitri claimed he doesn't love you? Two of you are…more than lovers. You both are like soulmates. Don't you think there might be a reason behind it?" Oksana said slowly, as if she's making sure to pick the right words.

I shook my head. "I've thought about that. I thought that…maybe it was because he still blames himself for what he did to me when he was a strigoi. I even asked him about it…" I trailed off.

"And…?" Oksana asked.

"He just said what he did to me as strigoi was awful and unforgivable, that he doesn't deserve me but that's not it. He just…doesn't love me anymore." I said, my voice seems far away. "His exact words were 'I've given up on you. Love fades, mine has…'"

For the first time, Mark spoke up, "That's not true. Sure, I mean love does fade. But true love? True love is too powerful to fade away that easily. And isn't that what you two have? True love?" Mark raised an eyebrow at me.

"Yeah, that's what I thought…see how wrong I was?" I said sarcastically.

"You said he told you what he did was unforgivable? That he doesn't deserve you? Well then that's it then! He just doesn't forgive himself. He blames himself…I guess this is his way of punishing himself." Mark said softly.

"But that's the point, isn't it? How could we love each other again if he doesn't even love or forgive himself?" I asked, "Besides, I told him over and over that it wasn't his fault. He doesn't listen to me."

After listening to our conversation, Oksana finally spoke up, "Well, I'm pretty sure it's not that easy. I mean, think of this situation in reverse. If you're in his place and you hurt someone you love so much like that—even if he forgives you—would you forgive yourself?" she asked in her calm voice.

Well I clearly haven't thought about that. If I was turned strigoi and I drank Dimitri's blood…and enjoyed it. Once I was turned back, I would definitely be mad at myself. But does that mean I would tell Dimitri that I no longer love him? No, definitely not. In that case, I would tell him how much I love him…how sorry I am. So, why did Dimitri say those things unless he really means it? I honestly don't know. And it's too painful to think about it.

"I don't know." I told her, "But that's not what I'm here for." I quickly changed the subject.

They both sigh desperately.

"Why are you here then, Rose?" Oksana wonders.

I bit my bottom lip, "I need a favor." I said.

She seems to like the thought of helping me because she smiles and said, "Alright, but why don't we go and sit inside? I was just making a soup. I'm sure you must be hungry."

Oh, I guess that explains what the ladle was doing in her hand.

Five minutes later we were sitting around a small circle table. The smell of the tomato soup Oksana made was in the air, making my mouth waters.

"So what is it you need help with?" Oksana said after swallowing a spoon-full of soup.

I did the same, the soup was hot and it burns on my tongue, giving it a soft sting. "Well, when I told you I want a fresh start, I mean it. But you know I can't really do that and risk people noticing me—since to them—I'm dead."

Oksana nods in understanding, "But I still don't know where I come in to the picture."

"Okay, so since you're a spirit-user, I wonder if maybe you have a spell to…change my appearance?" I asked hopefully.

Realization settled in her eyes. "Oh!" she said, "Well I guess that's reasonable."

I smile.

"Yeah, I do have one spell. Although it's quite powerful, it has its limit. This spell can only changes your 'outer' appearance like your outer skin meaning your face, your hair, your skin tone and even your lips. But it is believed that your eyes are like the windows to your soul, therefore it won't change—it can't be."

Oksana excuses herself from the table and went upstairs.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Mark asked.

"I'm not really sure what to do with my life anymore, Mark. But I can't do nothing, especially now that I know Dimitri's looking for me. The news clearly didn't stop him from wanting to find me. So, yes I think I want to do this." I shrug.

Mark opens his mouth to replies but Oksana returns before he had the chance.

Oksana was holding something in her hand; she brought it up on the table and unclenched her fist to reveal a necklace. It's beautiful! The chain is silver with a small, silver ball hanging from it. But there's something about the silver ball…like there's some sort of shining aura around it.

"It's spirit." Oksana said as if answering my unspoken question. "Like I said before, this is a very powerful spell; therefore if you wear it all the time without taking it off, it'll start to suck power from you. Not only you'll be weakened, but your appearance will start to change, making you look like your old self again. So I suggest you wear it during the day, when you go outside. And take it off at night while you rest, also giving the spirits a chance to restore its powers."

"Okay." I said, trying to take it all in.

Oksana gives me the necklace, "It is all yours." She smiles.

I decided to try it on later, so I put it in my jeans' pocket. We continue eating in a comfortable silence.
Once everyone is finished I offered to help her clean the dishes but she refused, saying it's late and I should go home. I said nothing; the truth is I don't have anywhere to go! She seems to notice my silent and figured it out.

"Oh no! You don't have anywhere to go, do you?" she asked.

There's no way I'm taking anymore offer from her. She already helped me enough so I lied smoothly "No, I'm actually staying at a hotel not too far away."

"And what's with the duffle bag?" she asked curiously.

Dammit Rose! "Uh, well there's something valuable in here so I don't feel like leaving it in my room." I lied.

She doesn't seem to buy it but decided to let it go. I was relieved.

"Well, I better get going then, thanks for everything Oksana. And you too, Mark." I smile at them.

They walked me to the front door and before I leave Oksana spoke up, "Oh and Rose? It is true that this spell works with everyone's eyes. They will see the new you instead of Rose Hathaway. But do know that under your true love's gaze, he will see right through your soul."

I froze. Fuck! You see, Oksana, that's the whole point of this! So I could avoid Dimitri! She thought.

Oksana senses my panic and reassures me, "Don't panic. What I mean is that, he will still see you as, your new self but remember when I said, your eyes are the windows to your soul? Well, if he looks at you carefully, straight in the eyes. He will be able to tell." She explains slowly, as if giving me time to registered it all in, "So you can avoid that by not looking him straight in the eyes. Maybe, just in case you run into him, wear a sunglass."

I nod, feeling slightly relieved.

"Thanks again, Oksana." I hug her.

"No problem" she smiles and hugs me back. "Please take care of yourself."

"And if you ever need anything, we're here for you." Mark said, making me feel loved.

I smile and waved at them before walking away, feeling like something heavy had been lifted off my shoulders. Now I only have on thing to worry about: find a place to sleep.

There we go! :) How do you like it? I already have some ideas for Rose's new look, but feel free to speak your mind in the review session! I hope you enjoyed this chapter, i had fun writing it. And please review! :)

Love, Prim