December 24

Tim felt a feather light touch as the snowflakes fell on his face; his headache was gone and he didn't feel sick any longer...he felt…at ease…peaceful; was this what being dead felt like? Maybe he'd been released from his torment at last. Tentatively, he opened his eyes; the whole world was white; so beautiful, so quiet...he stretched out his hand to feel the cold snow, but it didn't feel cold, it was so soft, like a pristine white quilt…he closed his eyes again, sleep, he'd had so little lately…now it looked as if he'd have eternity…

"Timothy McGee, what do you think you are doing?"

Now he was hearing things, it couldn't be…

"I asked you a question Tim."

He forced his eyes open. "K...Kate...is that you? Then I am de..."

"No! You're very much alive Tim, and I'm here to see you stay that way for many years to come."

He shook his head. "Not me...don't deserve to live, you don't understand Kate, I've ruined everything, I'm nothing but a giant screw-up, everyone will be better off when I'm gone, they'd have been better not knowing me, I'm useless…always have been."

Kate took a step closer to him. "If it didn't go against my years of training I'd be happy to smack your head. Stand up Tim; I want you to look at me when I'm speaking to you."

"Please Kate, let me be…the car, I wrecked my car...fell...I can't stand up"

"I know you were hurt Tim, but try for me."

Tim knew it would be a waste of time, but he'd always been a little in awe of Kate, and even if this wasn't 'his' Kate, she sure looked the same, so despite his reservations he tried to pull himself upright, he steeled himself to do it, and eventually he was sitting up, every muscle was aching, but he'd made it.

"See Tim, I knew you could do it, now stand up, let me get a good look at you; you've changed a lot since I last saw you."

Tim struggled to his feet and almost stumbled to the ground again when he saw the vision before him. She was even more beautiful than he remembered; her face so serene and kind, her warm brown hair almost glowing in the whiteness all around. She was dressed in a long silver gown, he had no clue what it was made of, but it seemed as light as air. He rubbed his eyes, this had to be an illusion, if he wasn't dead…what was all this? His head…he'd hit his head, that was it…Tim reached up to his temple, he'd hit it against the car door, and he remembered there was blood, he winced as he touched the tender spot on the side of his head…could this explain what he was 'seeing', was any of it real?

"What's going on, what are you doing here? This…it's…"

"Hinky Tim?"

"Oh no, whatever is beyond hinky, this is it. Look, no offence to whatever part of my sub-conscious dragged you up here, but could you please leave me be…I'm done with…with everything I guess. If I close my eyes, do you promise to be gone when I open them?"

Kate smiled and moved a little closer to him. "I know you must be confused Tim, coming face to face with an angel, doesn't happen to many people."

Tim's eyes opened wide. "Okay, time-out, an angel? Now I know I'm hallucinating. Whatever you are, can't you just let me alone?"

"No I can't Tim. I have a mission, and I am determined it will be a success."

"And I'm your mission? Well go back wherever you came from and tell them to forget it, I don't want anyone trying to rescue me…I told you, I'm done!"

Kate shook her head. "Stubborn aren't you? Doesn't worry me Tim, I've had other missions where they told me to 'blow it out my ear', I didn't give up on them, and I'm most certainly not going to give up on you."

"Other missions…did you take them with you to…you know…have you come to take me with you? I…I think I'm ready to go" Tim took a long look at this 'angel', was there even the slightest possibility that what this…whatever she was, said was true. She looked like Kate, sounded like her too, but she seemed different…other worldly, there did seem to be an aura about her, and she wasn't shivering even though she was totally underdressed for the weather. "Aren't you cold?"

"No Tim, I'm dead remember; I have no sensation in my body, don't often use it any longer, but Gabriel thought in this case it would be better if you could see me."

"Gabriel…as in…"

"The Archangel, yes Tim, he's the one who allowed me to be your guardian angel."

"Okay, you're good, I'll admit it; you had me fooled for a while until you mentioned Gabriel; that is one step too far. Did Tony put you up to this? I've got to say the hair and makeup…absolutely brilliant…but I'm not buying it."

"It's true Tim, I can't lie, I am an angel, and I'm here to help you."

Tim shook his head in disbelief, and winced again as the pain stabbed through his head. "If you're an angel, show me your wings."

Kate raised her eyes and gave a deep sigh. "I don't have my wings yet Tim, I'm still on probation."

She was surprised, and delighted to hear him laugh. "You're a Probie!"

"Probationary Angel First Class, thank you very much Special Agent McGee."

"Whatever…look, I don't want to get you into trouble, but can you please leave me alone? I'm tired; I don't want to do this anymore…everything I touch turns to crap, I'm worthless, always have been. I messed things up so bad, when I think of all the stupid mistakes I made…it would have been better for everyone if I'd never been born, can't screw up if you're not around."

"Please tell me you don't really believe that Tim; you have helped so many people."

"Helped them! If you really are Kate, you know that's not true, right from the start everything I touched…ruined…Erin Kendall, you were there…I should have saved her, too slow…always too slow."

Kate gave a deep sigh, this was going to be even more difficult than she had expected. "Tim, listen to me." She laid her hand gently on his shoulder, and he felt soothing warmth radiating throughout his body. "You think nothing you have done has been of value; I have been given permission to show you how wrong you are. Take my hand Tim, you are about to be given a great gift, the chance to see what the world would have been like without you."