A/N: So, here's the next chapter! Hope you guys all enjoy! :)
Chris Sabin was a man on a mission. As he fast approached Alex and AJ's room, there was only thing on his mind. Revenge. He was ready; scratch that, he corrected himself, he was more than ready to give AJ everything that he deserved and more, and his attack on Alex mere hours beforehand had lit the fuse underneath the enraged fire he'd become. Now that fire was ready to burn, and by fuck, would it burn on AJ.
As far as Chris was concerned, AJ was already a dead man for what he'd been doing. In fact, he was worse than a dead man. Now, Chris thought sinisterly, he was going to hell, and Chris was going to be the one to send him there, piece by worthless piece. The fire had consumed Chris pretty quickly since he'd left the room and Alex, and with every step closer he got to kicking AJ's ass, the anger had grown into near uncontrollable rage. At this rate, Chris was going to break AJ's door down and commit murder.
Chris wasn't normally a violent man by any nature. Actually, he was far from it; typically, he was one of the most laid back and relaxed people anyone could find on the face of the earth about most shit, but AJ had crossed the line. He'd crossed the line the second Alex had admitted to him what AJ had been doing to him over the past 8 months; he'd well and truly pissed on that line when Chris had found Alex in the locker room earier, beaten and raped so violently to within an inch of his life that Alex still hadn't been able to utter a word to him up until the moment he'd left to hunt out AJ.
Now, the time had come to teach AJ exactly what happened when you fucked with the one thing that Chris loved more than life itself.
Chris' thoughts went back to Alex, and he briefly paused in his place, once again questioning for the millionth time since he'd left the room whether or not he could actually do this. His self doubts had been continuously attacking him ever since he'd started on his way to AJ's room, and they were beginning to make him second-guess himself. Sure, he was pissed, seething beyond all recognition that AJ would dare to lay a single finger on Alex after everything that Alex had had to go through at his hands, but even the most intense anger on the face of the earth couldn't dampen the major worry and concern that he had about Alex's condition.
There was no doubt about it; AJ had well and truly broken Alex. He had reduced the once bright and vibrant man to less than a shell of his former self, and Chris wasn't entirely sure that he had enough in him this time to be able to pull him back out of it unscathed. Chris just prayed that Alex wasn't doing anything too stupid or self-destructive whilst he was gone; the idea of Alex harming himself again because Chris had been too preoccupied going after AJ to look after him was one that ate Chris up inside, and Chris desperately hoped that Alex was just sleeping or relaxing like he had been when Chris had left the room.
It had taken all of Chris' strength to get Alex back to the room after AJ's attack; Alex was so hysterical and fragile, so beaten and broken down that he could barely move himself more than an inch without breaking down into sobs of agony and shame. Chris couldn't begin to understand the torrent of emotions that had to be rushing through Alex since the rape and beating, but he knew that Alex was suffering; that he'd continue to suffer for a long time yet, and the knowledge that Chris didn't have any way of soothing or reassuring him like he had done previously was something that upset Chris more than anything.
It had taken a while for them to get back to the hotel; Alex was practically out on his feet the entire duration of the walk, not that Chris really blamed him for being that way after everything he'd gone through. When they'd finally gotten back to the room, Alex had almost collapsed into a heap on the floor, and if it wasn't for Chris keeping a tight grip around his waist for support whilst Alex had been walking, he had no doubt in his mind that Alex would've been curled up in a heap on the floor, more scared and vulnerable than Chris had ever seen him.
Chris had led him straight to the bathroom, instinctively getting the impression that Alex would want to wash himself clean after the attack; he knew he'd guessed correctly when Alex immediately, his hand shaking so bad that Chris was surprised he could grab anything, turned the tap on as hot as it would physically go before trying to strip out of his clothes. Watching Alex fumble and struggle miserably, Chris had wanted nothing more than to help him, but as he'd reached out his hand towards Alex, Alex had flinched, backing himself into the wall as he gave a half-choked scream of fear that had utterly destroyed Chris.
Realising that even touching Alex could cause more harm than good at that precise moment in time, Chris had had to supress the urge to assist him as much as it hurt him, and he'd watched as Alex divested himself of his clothing, before stepping carefully into the shower. Chris had left the room shortly after that, wanting to give Alex the privacy and respect that he deserved, and after a few minutes of restless pacing, he just sat on the bed that the two of them had shared the night before.
It was such an intensely bittersweet moment for Chris; remembering with fondness the feel of Alex wrapped up in his arms that morning, skin to skin and Alex being more innocent and beautiful than Chris could ever remember him being, it had made such a heartwrenching sight, one that he was sure would be ingrained into his brain for years to come. Yet now, he was too scared to even attempt to touch Alex after the reaction he'd given him in the bathroom, scared of hurting Alex in the most unimaginable ways thanks to what AJ had done to him. It was a thought that had Chris cursing AJ and the anger building up inside of him.
He wasn't blind; he knew that Alex was pushing him away from him, and Chris on some level could completely understand why that was. He couldn't begin to imagine the sorts of things that AJ had done to Alex that Chris had yet to uncover, but if it was anything like AJ had done to him in the past, then he knew that Alex would need some time to recover himself, to pick himself up and deal with things himself before letting anyone else in to gather the rest of the pieces and put him back together again. Alex, despite his mind and his body being battered and bruised after months of abuse, was still one stubborn son of a bitch when it came to his pride, and he still wanted to prove to himself that he wasn't as reliant on Chris as Chris knew that he was.
After nearly half an hour of tortured introspection and worrying about Alex's mental state, Chris had started to become concerned that Alex had yet to come out of the shower. All that he could hear was the sound of the water hitting the floor, it was almost as if Alex wasn't even in there anymore. Chris was about to start questioning the lack of noise when his brain threw up a worryingly possible scenario. Cursing himself when he had remembered about all of the razor blades and bottles of painkillers that Alex had free access to, Chris had walked straight across the room towards the bathroom in a panic.
Giving a quick knock on the door, Chris had opened it and peeked his head around the frame, his eyes immediately searching out Alex; the sight that had greeted him was one that broke his heart and made his hatred for AJ burn even brighter than before. Alex was sat on the floor of the shower, his back flat against the tiles and his knees curled into his chest as he sobbed hysterically. He was so absorbed into his nightmarish world that he hadn't even noticed that Chris was now in the room, let alone acknowledge him.
Sitting in front of him was one of Chris' razors, the blades scattered around the shower; Alex had obviously broken the plastic covering to get to them, Chris had thought sadly. His left arm was drenched in blood, and Chris could see that Alex had cut his arm up rather badly, the multiple, frenzied lacerations hanging perilously close to the veins and arteries of his wrist and elbow. In his right hand was the culprit, a bloodstained razor blade that was held between violently shaking fingers as Alex pressed it to the pulse point on his wrist, completely oblivious to the fact that Chris had entered the room and was standing there watching him.
Chris was almost frozen to the spot as he watched Alex draw the blade slowly across his wrist, a thick line of blood quickly following before running almost profusely down his skin and dripping off of his fingers onto the floor, being washed away down the drain. Chris could see that the cut was deep; not deep enough to kill himself, Chris thought thankfully, but still nasty enough to leave one fuck of a scar. It unnerved Chris as to just how methodical and clinical the whole process was, how Alex hadn't even flinched or looked to be in any visible kind of pain after inflicting such brutal damage upon himself, but Chris knew instinctively that Alex had to be screaming on the inside.
The darkened, teary light that had flashed across Alex's eyes as he lifted his head up slightly to stare distantly across the room suggested that Chris had been right in his assumptions, and as Alex's mask fell for just a few brief seconds, Chris could see just how deep the pain and suffering that Alex was feeling ran as he let out a quiet hiss, cradling his arm into his chest. The blood continued to run down his skin, staining the floor of the shower a disturbing shade of red, but Alex's grip on the razor never released. It was almost like he was trying to gather together the motivation and the wherewithall to make the next cut, and Chris immediately wanted to make Alex stop before he did irreversible damage.
Chris had eventually found the strength to move, tentatively walking over towards Alex's violently shaking and huddled body. Turning off the scorching water that had flushed Alex's skin an angry red between the thick bruises, Alex had looked up at Chris, and the sheer pain and desperation in his tearshot eyes had made Chris's breath hitch and the tears well up in his own eyes. He knew in that second that the look that Alex had given him was going to haunt him for the rest of his life as he tried to will the tears down; someone needed to be strong for Alex, and that person was going to be him. He couldn't afford to let his defences shatter again.
Chris had kneeled down in front of Alex, not caring that his jeans were getting damp as he moved the broken razor and the rest of the blades out of Alex's reach. Chris found himself hesitating for a few moments, at a loss as to what to actually do, before he held his hand out slowly. He wasn't demanding or telling Alex to do or give him anything; he was waiting for Alex to be ready to give it over by himself. As much as Chris disliked Alex harming himself, he couldn't rip away what was obviously some kind of security blanket for him, even if it was a horribly self-destructive one. What he didn't want, however, was for that protection to overwhelm Alex and cost him his life; Chris couldn't idly sit by and watch as Alex threw away his life with just one or two slashes.
As the tears streamed down his face, Alex had shakily handed over the bloodied blade, and Chris had given him a soft, warm smile in thanks. Alex hadn't returned the gesture, he had just leaned his head forward, resting it on Chris' shoulder as he sobbed frantically. Chris had immediately reacted, wrapping his arms around Alex in a tight hug, never wanting to let go. He could feel every inch of Alex's body pressed against his own, shaking without reservation as if Alex had lost all control over his actions, and as the hug had been tightened, Chris could feel his t-shirt becoming sticky and wet with the blood from Alex's arm.
As Chris thought back over the memory that haunted him of Alex drawing his own blood, his thoughts rapidly turned back to AJ, the one who was the cause of Alex's pain and suffering, and the anger flared up in his gut again as he started making his way back down the corridor towards AJ's room. The blood that still stained his shirt was splattered across his front ominously; it would have freaked Chris out at any other time to be wearing it, but this time, it only served to remind him of why he was doing this. He was doing this for Alex. He was doing this for every drop of blood and every single tear that AJ had made Alex shed over the course of the 8 months Alex had been subjected to the hell he'd been forced to endure.
Chris had been so caught up in his thoughts and thinking that he didn't even realise he was standing right outside of AJ's room, just staring at the wood as the rage and anger continued to build inside of him. He knew that AJ was in; he could hear the sound of the TV blazing in the background, and the occasional bark of laughter as AJ expressed his amusement at whatever was on. Just the idea of AJ giving out that same dark laugh to Alex when he was raping and beating him flashed through Chris' mind, and he became so worked up in his fury that his hands began to shake violently. AJ was a dead man.
Lifting his hand up, Chris took a deep breath, trying to work up the courage and eliminate all of the self-doubt over whether or not he could this. After a few minutes of listening to the sounds coming from within the room and envisioning those same noises during the attack earlier, Chris couldn't stand it any longer, and he knocked on the door hard and fast. He tried his best to calm down a little bit before AJ got to the door; the last thing he wanted was for someone to see him murder AJ, and if he could get some answers out of bastard, then he happily would.
"I told you! I fucking told you that you'd have no fucking choice but to crawl back to me on your hands and knees like the pathetic slut you are! I told you that even Sabin wouldn't want your worthless, whored out ass once I was fucking finished with you!"
At the sound of AJ's malicious tone, and the blistering anger he could hear in it through the door, Chris' own rage began to build up worse than it did beforehand. AJ obviously thought that it was Alex instead of him standing behind the door, Chris questioned, his face contorting in near uncontrollable fury when the true extent of what AJ was saying began to sink through the haze surrounding his mind. His hands balling into tight fists, Chris could hear the sound of footsteps approaching, before the handle was turned and the door was swung open.
The second AJ came into view, Chris froze in place. His eyes though were alive and dancing with all kinds of emotion, and if anyone else had caught the look in his eyes at that moment in time, they would have run for the hills and never come back. Chris watched as AJ's glare bled into a malevolent smile, and as AJ leaned against the door easily, his eyes lit up with a disturbing happiness, Chris knew that he was seconds away from exploding in the worst kind of way.
Unable to control the burning anger that was threatening to engulf him, Chris gave up trying to reign it in anymore. Reaching out his hand, he suddenly grabbed a tight grip on AJ's throat, slamming his back up against the door as he advanced menacingly, boxing AJ into the solid wood frame behind him. Shock and confusion overtook AJ's features as his hand came up to start clawing at his throat, trying to gain a little bit of space to breathe, but Chris wasn't having any of it. Leaning forward, Chris let his lips brush against AJ's ear as he snarled viciously, dangerously at him, loving the way that AJ continued to struggle in his hold.
"Why AJ, I do believe that we need to have a chat, don't you?"
After one last tight squeeze, Chris let go of AJ's throat, before pushing him into the room with unreserved strength. AJ stumbled backwards before landing on his ass on the floor with a soft thud, glaring at Chris with nearly the same level of malice that Chris was unleashing upon him. AJ went to stand up, but Chris pounced forward, kicking AJ with all of his power straight in the ribs. AJ let out a groan of pain, doubling over on himself as he cradled his stomach, but the anger in his eyes didn't let up.
"8 months," Chris whispered icily, his voice literally shaking with rage. "8 fucking months, huh?"
Before AJ even had a chance to answer, Chris launched forward with another vicious kick to the ribs, taking great pleasure in the way that AJ let out the slightest of whimpers that he looked to be desperately trying to hold in. Staring up at Chris through half pained eyes, AJ initially looked confused; it was only a split second later when that evil grin spread across his face and he let out a harsh bark of laughter that unnerved Chris to no end.
"Aw, poor Alex. Too beaten and injured to fight his own battles, so he sends you instead? I should have known, the worthless slut. How is he, by the way?"
The playfully malicious and sarcastic tone of AJ's voice and the look on his face as he said the words did nothing to quell the anger that was growing by the second within Chris, and Chris couldn't stop himself from giving AJ another hard kick to the stomach. The hiss of pain that AJ let out was considerably louder this time round, and Chris flexed his toes to bring back the feeling after the viciousness of the shot as he glared down at AJ furiously. His entire body was shaking with rage that was begging to be released, but Chris restrained himself as best as he could; remember, he told himself mentally, this was to get answers as well as to inflict the beating of a lifetime.
"First off, that worthless slut is my fucking best friend. Second, how fucking dare you. After what you fucking did to him, I should fucking wring your neck until you can't fucking breathe anymore."
A dark smile crossed AJ's face as he stared up at Chris through pain-hooded eyes, and there was something in the disturbing light that flashed through them as he let out a rasped huff of laughter that only served to increase the uneasiness that Chris felt. It was no wonder that Alex was so damn scared of him if he could play those kind of games, Chris briefly thought, but he was mentally stronger than Alex was at that moment in time, and even the reasonably psychotic way AJ was looking at him didn't distract him from what he was there to do.
"Well go on then Sabin, I fucking dare you to," AJ goaded, the fire in his voice completely at odds with the strain in his words that Chris knew was down to the hard shots to the stomach he had already taken. After a few moments of silence, AJ's patience and playful nature turned nasty as he screamed viciously at Chris. "Come on Chris! Fucking do it!"
Oh, Chris was so damn tempted to give into AJ's demands and throttle the life out of him; he wanted nothing more than to strangle AJ to within an inch of his life just like the way he had done to Alex multiple times. Chris wanted to hurt him. He wanted to bruise him and make him bleed. He wanted to make him beg and plead for forgiveness just like he'd forced Alex to do so many times; but he couldn't. As much as he wanted to cause AJ the worse pain imaginable, he wasn't going to do that by sinking to AJ's level.
Chris' hands clenched and unclenched by his side as the violent anger raging inside of him crackled and exploded uncontrollably, and it took all of his now battered self-restraint not to give into AJ's attempts to rile him up. Giving into AJ would be the last thing he would ever do. Despite the knowledge of knowing that Alex had been forced to give up at his feet a million times over the course of AJ's sickening abuse, Chris knew that doing the same would be the worst way of defending Alex the way that Chris wanted to.
Besides, if he showed any kind of weakness to AJ during the course of his beating, then he knew that AJ would pick up on it and use it to manipulate him the way that he had done to Alex. Chris had to be strong. He couldn't allow AJ any opportunity to gain the upper hand at any point whatsoever; if he wanted the answers from AJ that he desperately craved, he had to remain in control at all times. Control was power, and despite the idea of AJ exerting that kind of control and domination over Alex, Chris knew he had no choice but to do exactly the same to get what he wanted out of AJ.
That same twisted smile came over AJ's face again as he regarded Chris icily, his hand rubbing down his side in an attempt to ease the pain a little bit from the kicks that Chris had given him. The slight grimace that crossed AJ's face as he touched a particularly tender area was enough to make Chris smile in spite of himself. Sure, he didn't want to be reduced to AJ's level, but it didn't mean that he couldn't enjoy exacting some well deserved revenge upon the bastard.
"I knew you couldn't do it. You're just as pathetic as that stupid whore," AJ spat out venomously. "He couldn't do it either, no matter how many times I gave him the chance. Hell I gave him the chance earlier to fight back and do you know what he did?" When Chris didn't answer him, AJ shouted at him again. "Do you know what he fucking did?"
Chris closed his eyes, rolling his neck to try and ease some of the tension that was crawling through his body. It was utterly killing him to hear the way that AJ was talking about Alex like he didn't mean a goddamn thing, but Chris knew he couldn't give into the anger flying around his system if he wanted to get the answers he needed. Letting out a deep breath, Chris opened his eyes, locking his gaze with AJ as he shook his head slowly. AJ gave a vicious smirk.
"Absolutely nothing. Didn't you know that?" AJ asked sarcastically, before he let out a knowing, malicious smile at the pain that painted itself across Chris' face. "Or won't he speak to you either?"
Chris completely snapped. Every ounce of self-restraint and control that he'd been trying to hold onto completely abandoned him as he let out a feral cry before kicking AJ violently hard square in his face. A satisfying crack echoed around the room as AJ's hand immediately went up to cup his nose, but Chris could already see the blood that was starting to stream profusely down his face. Upon remembering the all too vivid image of Alex doing exactly the same, his face stained red after AJ had broken his nose in the same way, Chris launched forward, unable to control himself.
Dropping to his knees, Chris wrapped his hand tight around AJ's throat as he pushed him roughly into the floor. AJ's hand immediately left his nose as he started to claw at the tight grip around his neck, but Chris grabbed hold of his wrist, twisting his arm in a direction it definitely wasn't supposed to go and pinning it to the floor as AJ let out an involuntary hiss of pain. For a split second, Chris could've sworn he saw fear fly across AJ's face as he tightened his grasp even further, delighting in the way that AJ gasped for breath.
He was running on pure emotion now. Tears of anger and anguish were sparkling in his eyes as he looked down at AJ; if looks could kill, AJ would've been beyond a dead man at that moment in time. Chris' chest rising and falling haphazardly as he tried to reign in the pain and sadness that he felt after everything that Alex had gone through at AJ's demonic hands, Chris leaned over AJ menacingly, loving the way that AJ naturally had to fight the instinct to recoil into the floor.
"What the fuck did you do to him?" Chris snarled viciously. When AJ hadn't replied after a couple of seconds, Chris' control evaporated further as he screamed into AJ's face frantically. "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HIM?"
The tension in the room became absolutely suffocating as Chris waited nervously to hear AJ's answer. If he was totally honest with himself, he wasn't entirely sure he wanted to know exactly what AJ did try to do to him, but he figured that by knowing all of the details, it would help him try to help Alex even a little bit more than he could now. Chris was cut from his thoughts as AJ let out a rasped bark of laughter, each hard breath and gasp for air strained as Chris tightened his grip before letting go just enough to let AJ speak; he wasn't going to let go completely, just enough to lull him into a false sense of security.
"You wanna know Sabin? Do you really wanna know?" AJ breathed out calmly, a slightly unnerving edge to his voice. His eyes had lit up maliciously as he spoke, almost as if he was reminiscing on what he had done to Alex mere hours before, and Chris was almost starting to regret asking, but he had no choice but to listen as AJ gave him the answers he was looking for.
"I was going to kill him. I was going to slit his throat from ear to ear whilst fucking the life out of him. But I didn't. Oh I wanted to, more than anything, but I thought it would be more fun to watch him kill himself instead."
As AJ finished the final words, Chris' mind flashed back to the deep cut that was embedded on the side of Alex's throat when he'd found him and how Alex was so damn petrified of Chris touching him anywhere near his neck, sobbing and begging hysterically when Chris' fingers even brushed against the soft flesh surrounding the bleeding wound, and in that instant Chris' face flooded full of pure hatred and despise for AJ.
"You fucking bastard," Chris whispered angrily. The tears he'd been desperately trying to hold back began to bud and well in the corners of his eyes, and Chris tried to will them back down with all the strength he had as he stared back down at AJ. Even looking at him was enough to make Chris feel violently sick, and that only became worse when AJ gave Chris a disturbed grin, knowing that Chris' defences were beginning to crack.
"Do you have any idea how good it sounded to hear him beg? To hear him scream and sob for his pathetic little life whilst I was raping him? Do you have any idea how good it felt to feel him completely and utterly break beneath me? To feel him utterly destroy himself? Because let me tell you Sabin, I'd do it again, and he'd fucking let me. And do you know why that is? Because he's a worthless, messed-up and whored out waste of skin and air who fucking deserves to crawl back into the gutter and fucking kill hims-."
AJ had barely spat out the final word when the wave of emotion rolling over Chris overwhelmed him completely, and Chris no longer had the strength or the desire to restrain himself from letting rip on AJ. Drawing his hand back, he launched forward with a violently hard punch to AJ's face, blood splattering up his knuckles as he reeled off shot after shot at AJ's head and throat. He was almost a man possessed as he ignored AJ's cries and calls of pain and forgiveness, every inch of his being entirely consumed by the fire that had engulfed him, demanding revenge for every little thing AJ had done over the course of the last 8 months.
Even as AJ went limp underneath him, completely unable to fight back from the viciously tight grip that Chris had around his throat, Chris couldn't stop. The red mist that had descended over his mind was blinding him from any kind of rational thought at that moment in time, and he didn't give a shit that he was perilously close to unleashing pure hell on AJ and potentially murdering him. Thick streaks of blood were running profusely from AJ's nose and lip, and there was a deep cut just above his left eye that Chris had made with one perfectly placed punch. AJ's entire face was black and blue, swollen beyond recognition as AJ gasped and begged for air, but Chris still couldn't bring himself to let up for even a second.
It was like he had evolved into an entirely different man. He'd become blinded by rage and thrist for revenge that it had completely overridden the rest of his senses, and it only became worse when AJ began to struggle in his hold, frantically fighting to get Chris off of him. Chris glared down at him, his eyes almost black with adrenaline as his entire body began to shake with the force of his exertion, and Chris couldn't help but give a smile at the tears of desperation that were threatening to spill from AJ's eyes as he stared back up at weakly.
"How does it feel, huh? How the fuck does it feel?" Chris whispered viciously into AJ's ear, loving the way that AJ instinctively flinched back from the venom in his words. "Does it feel good, huh? Does it feel good?"
AJ shook his head frantically, and there was no mistaking the fear in his eyes as the tears he was desperately trying to hold back throughout the lack of oxygen began to escape down his bruised and bloody face. Chris grinned at AJ maliciously, giving AJ's throat one last tight squeeze before releasing the hold. The way that AJ writhed and convulsed on the floor as he tried to gain some air back into his lungs was exactly identical to the way that Alex had reacted in his room the day before when he had woken up, and the vivid reminder was enough to bring Chris back to himself.
Chris' chest rose and feel haphazardly as he took deep, heavy breaths, trying to calm himself down as he looked down at AJ's broken body. All of a sudden, the image of AJ was replaced with Alex laying on the floor in front of him, begging and pleading for his forgiveness, and Chris found himself feeling impossibly sick. In that instant, he began to realise exactly what he had done, and the self-loathing and guilt that slowly replaced the anger and drive for revenge made him shut his eyes as the tears he himself had been trying to hold back budded in his eyes relentlessly.
He was no better than AJ.
What had initially started off as revenge for everything that AJ had put Alex through over the last 8 months had descended into nothing more than pure brutality for the fun of it. He had reduced himself to AJ's level, and for what? Sure, it felt good to exact some well deserved pain on the sick bastard, but at the end of the day, it didn't help to achieve anything. Alex was still going to suffer because of everything that AJ had done to him. Alex was still going to be the same broken, shell of a man, and even though Chris had been able to get some answers out of AJ during the course of the beating, there was nothing he could do to make Alex feel any better.
Suddenly, panic began to infiltrate Chris' mind. Alex could've been doing absolutely anything whilst he was here. Images began to flash before Chris' mind of Alex sitting in the shower cutting his arm again, of Alex overdosing on painkillers and lying dead in their room, and in that instant Chris could feel a bubble of hysteria rush through him. He needed to get out of there, and now. That deep pulsing feeling of dread and fear was beginning to roil about in the pit of his stomach, and that had only ever meant bad things as far as Alex was concerned. Very bad things. After all, Chris knew that Alex had gotten hurt even before he'd finished his match, why would this time be any different from before?
Not even bothering to look back down at the half conscious heap that lay before him on the floor, Chris turned and fled the room, his heart beat pounding in his chest. He could feel the bile rising in his throat, but whether that was because of his current panic or because he felt physically sick with himself for what he had done, he wasn't entirely sure. All he knew was that he needed to get back to Alex, and he needed to get back there right that second. He felt beyond angry with himself; why the fuck had he even thought that leaving Alex alone, in the fragile state he was in, was a good idea? If Alex had hurt himself because Chris was too preoccupied with some petty feud, then Chris didn't think he'd be able to forgive himself.
The corridors seemed to drag on forever as Chris walked briskly back in the direction of his and Alex's room, and Chris was almost starting to become convinced that every row of doors was merging together. He could only feel his panic and fear increasing with every step that he took, and after quickly looking around the vicinity to make sure there was no-one around, Chris couldn't stop himself from beginning to run full speed as fast as he could back to their room. It felt like he was on a bad acid trip, and that did nothing to stop the overwhelming feeling of dread that was continuing to push at his gut as he turned the corner, getting ever closer to the room.
How could he have been so damn stupid? He chastised himself angrily, his mind conjuring up even more disturbing images of the sorts of things that could've happened to Alex whilst he was gone. How could he let himself get so consumed in his irrational hatred for AJ that he couldn't see the importance of the man in front of him? Alex meant more to him than any revenge on AJ could ever do, and he was thoroughly pissed at himself for not realising that earlier.
He was almost beginning to wish that he hadn't gone after AJ, that he'd listened to his own fears and self-doubt and completely forgotten about exacting his petty revenge and stayed with Alex like he should have done from the beginning. Healing Alex was his priority, especially considering just how low and depressed Alex had revealed himself to be, and as he ran up the first flight of stairs back to the room, he was annoyed with himself for letting anything cloud that. Alex meant more to him than anything else in the world, and the fact that he had thrown that aside just to go after AJ made him question exactly who he was as a friend and protector, just what kind of person that actually made him.
The more he put some thought into it, the more he realised that he didn't actually recognise who the hell he was. The fact that he'd so easily thrown Alex aside when he needed him the most was something that sickened Chris to the core. The fact that he'd gotten so much pleasure out of choking the life out of AJ and reducing him to nothing more than a broken down heap on the floor - despite AJ deserving it more than anything - was something that honestly scared him. The idea that he could become so disconnected from reality, that he could sink to AJ's level and inflict that kind of violence on another person made him question whether or not it was actually safe for Alex to be around him if he could do that. If he could do that to AJ, what was to stop him doing that to Alex?
Chris paused at the top of the stairwell, completely exhausted from the effort of all of his exertions. The beating he'd given AJ had drained him both physically and mentally, and the journey back to the room had only tired him out further. Leaning back against the wall briefly, he bent forward, resting his hands on his knees as he tried to calm himself down. He was overreacting, right? Well, he certainly hoped that he was. He was almost desperately praying that he'd get back to the room to find Alex laying on the bed, asleep and relaxed for the first time in hours, but as the seconds passed, Chris was starting to become more and more paranoid about what Alex could've possibly done to himself, and after a few more moments of catching his breath, he proceeded up the rest of the steps, albeit at a slightly slower pace than he had been moving previously.
The stairs seemed to go on forever, but eventually, Chris stepped out onto the landing, and after swinging the door open, he started to walk down the corridor that lead to his and Alex's room. His legs felt heavy, and each step that he took seemed like it echoed between the walls as his heart beat only increased its speed. He was finding it hard to control his breathing, and by the time he was only a few doors down from the room, he almost felt like he was going to start hyperventilating from the fear and panic that was coursing through his system.
Reaching the door to their room, Chris grabbed the keycard out of his back pocket, fumbling with the plastic as his hands continued to shake violently. It took him a few attempts to gather together the co-ordination to actually swipe it through the reader, and Chris barely noticed when the light on the lock turned green, as blinded from it as he was in his panic. Eventaully, Chris noticed it, and he quickly swung the door open with a loud thud before stepping inside.
The room was dark, and there was no sign of anybody actually being in there as Chris instinctively walked straight into the bedroom. The bed was still fully made, and it became obvious that Alex hadn't been anywhere near it. That was something that concerned Chris deeply; Alex obviously hadn't been able to relax or sleep like Chris had hoped he would've been able to, and the idea that Alex had been awake and alert to all of his pain and suffering whilst Chris was out was something that made Chris feel involuntarily sick.
Walking further into the room, Chris could see a slither of light coming from a crack in the bathroom door, but there was still no sound. There was no indication that anybody was even in the room, and that was something that scared Chris as he slowly approached the bathroom, his heart thudding in his chest with each and every step. The door was open just a little bit, and when Chris got close enough, he could see a shadow cast across the floor and up the wall. The shadow wasn't moving.
Panic rolling over Chris in thick waves, he strode over to the door, giving it a push. It wouldn't open. It was stuck on something that was preventing it from opening more than a few inches, and that did nothing to quell the fear and dread that was continuing to build inside of Chris. Wedging his shoulder into the gap in the door that Chris had made, he tried to peer around into the bathroom, when he saw a sight that made his blood run cold.
A hand on the floor.
Chris panicked. His breath coming in short, sharp bursts, he focused all of his strength on getting the fucking door open; counting to three, he drove his shoulder into the wood with as much strength as he could muster. After 3 or 4 attempts, the door was opening wider now, and with every crack further that was revealed, Chris could see more of an arm lifelessly across the floor. The arm was stained with blood, and there was a puddle of red pooling on the floor, gradually getting bigger and bigger with each passing second.
The fingers was sickeningly pale, and there was absolutely no sign of movement; Chris could feel the tears budding in his eyes as his efforts became more frantic. Taking a deep breath, Chris could feel his hand shaking violently with fear as he gave one last hard shove at the door. Chris could've almost cried with relief when it opened just wide enough for him to get inside; Desperately begging with himself that he was dreaming, Chris stepped into the room, almost screaming in horror at the sight that greeted him.
"Alex!"