Continue?
*button being pressed noise*
Oookay! Here we go! (in insane fangirl voice! :P)
1. Okay I want these four hot guys to hang out with each other! I have my reasons! They're my faves from each kingdom :D and all four are uber cute! 3 *does insane wolf whistle*
Sun Quan, Jiang Wei, Sima Zhao and Guo Jia!
2. Lu Xun, Zhu Ran, who would beat the other in a staring match?
3. Oh one more thing for Sun Quan and Jiang Wei...I can just imagine you two in a L'Oreal advert _ Love your hair! 3
The group gathers and they all look at each other funny. "This makes no sense."
Lu Xun stares at the Zhu Ran mannequin for a long time into its blank eyes. "Nrrrgh..."
"..."
"I'm...not losing..."
"..."
"Argh! My eyes are so dry! You win, but I'll get you next time!"
"..."
"Aw, you're so humble! Stop it!" Lu Xun hits the mannequin and it falls down.
Takasugi says out, "For the last one, you can do some editing on Sun Quan and Jiang Wei. Hey, untie your hair." The two do as they say and the screen turns sparkly.
Want fuller, radiant hair?
Use Total Repair 5 or what ever crap they came up with. Jiang Wei and Sun Quan have their hair slowly on the screen.
"Yeah, yeah. Next!"
I'm going to make the most stupid,emberas and disgusting you have ever seen.
1)For any random person:DO A BARREL ROLL while singing.
2)Watch corpse party torture soul except those who does not want to see some blood,gore,swoer or all of them,and CHILD is proibithen.
3)For Dong huo and a jin who wanted all of his team dead:Lick your own armpit and rape a aircraft in mid-air(Oh yeah)
4)Sing a bleach OP song and a Naruto Shippuden OP song.
5)Every one make a scene of It over 9000,Spartan kick and the Lazer scene.
6)Watch a lemon fan-fict of corpse party while driking lemonade.
7)All the girl,annoy Dong Zhuo and he can't do anything.
8)For everyone,play a total war series.
"Xu Chu, do a barrel roll!" Takasugi stands right next to him. "Do a barrel roll! Do a barrel roll!"
"Hm?"
"Do a barrel roll! Do a barrel roll!"
"He's not going to understand the reference..."
"Do a barrel roll! Do a barrel roll!"
"..."
"Okay." Xu Chu does barrel rolls on the ground, but I guess they are no longer barrel rolls, just normal rolls.
"Eh, it works. Corpse Party? What's that, a new teen drug or a another slang? Let me Google that." He gets out his laptop. "...It's a horror game...? Well, I've never played a game like this. Fine, let me look up a video and show it to everyone." He holds out his laptop a bit and everyone covers their eyes in readiness.
"Hey, this is just the opening."
"No, we don't want to see your arts."
"This isn't those fanarts! It's a video!" They all remove their hands. "...That's not scary... You said it it was horror."
"Yeah... this isn't that scary... what am I watching? It's like an RPG, except mixed with Slenderman or Amnesia. Guy dies... eh... This is boring." He shuts the laptop. "Dong Zhou and Zhong Hui lick your pits... ew... How do you rape an aircraft...? Unless you're talking about the planes from Disney's Planes, you can't stick your thingy into an aircraft's non-existent thing..."
"...Well... we can just make Hui here to lick his pits and...Dong Zhou's not here. To be honest, we make sure he NEVER gets the memo for these things..."
"I am not licking there for your amusement!"
"We'll make you lick Dong Zhou."
"Ugh... F-Fine..." Zhong Hui sticks his tongue out to go and lick his armpit. He then barfs after he finished. "BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!"
"You're cleaning that up. Next, something Bleach and Naruto. Alright, Bleach opening 13 and Naruto Shippuden opening 1 seem fine. I just hope we don't get sued. Let me just switch Lu Xun's voice to the Japanese..."
Bleach opening 13 Melody of the Wild Dance
Quietly, quietly,
Cut the curtains down
Blue flames are born
On the dawn awakening
We walked and hugged
Embracing a weakness that knows of no defeat
Let's carve an era
With new fangs
Quietly, quietly,
Cut the curtains down
Blue flames are born
On the dawn of awakening
Until that day when I met you,
the one I want to protect,
I'd rather take down my enemies immediately
Than go for a long fight
So loved, so loved
That I don't need anything else
I watched everything from here
I'll finish it all and lead you there
Just don't let go
This melody of the wild dance
It will never stop echoing
"Eh, it sounds similar. Next, Guan Xing can sing this. I'll switch his voice to Japanese too."
Naruto Shippuden opening 1 Hero's Come Back!
Tooku de kikoeru koe wo hitori
Hitori mata hitori de chi agaru toushi
Kurikaesu dake no fudan doori
Kutsu ga iku junbi ii ze, ARE YOU READY?
Karadajuu furuwazu shinzou ni
Hageshiku chinarase yo STOMPING
Taeru tsuki wo ukasu CALL ME
Kawarisugiru ga nuki ka STORY
COME ON! EVERYBODY STAND UP!
Agero kyou ichiban no jikan da
Me ni mo tomoran no SUPIIDO HANTA
Dare mo nobinattori ko kanba YEAH
COME ON! EVERYBODY HANDS UP!
Mata ashita no HERO'S wa COMEBACK
Tsuujou kazoe hibi wo COUNTDOWN
Iku ze, 3-2-1 MAKE SOME NOISE!
HEY yo mou basho nori tsuku wa kakugo desho
Nankai korondatte tatsu GET OT ON
Nade aida naze kami hito e no seisho
Irikunda kanjou kizuki ageta desho
Mochiagaru kansei ga yuuki to naru
Tashiagareba ima kurushimi tomonau
Sore demo saikou wa kitto aru
Subete sarau to shouri no kansei
EVERYBODY STAND UP!
Agero kyou ichiban no jikan da
Me ni mo tomoran no SUPIIDO HANTA
Dare mo nobinattori ko kanba YEAH
COME ON! EVERYBODY HANDS UP!
Mata ashita no HERO'S wa COMEBACK
Tsuujou kazoe hibi wo COUNTDOWN
Iku ze, 3-2-1 MAKE SOME NOISE!
"それが良かった?," Lu Xun asked.
"Whoops, let me switch him back." Takasugi pushes a few buttons on his phone. "What was that?"
"Was it good?"
"Yeah."
"You can switch what language they're speaking?," asked Izuru.
"Yes, we can make them speak any language thanks to a translator we installed into each character. If we switch it off, they'll speak Mandarin. Look." He presses a button, and goes up to slap Zhuge Liang in the face. "Ah! Nǐ wèishéme yào zhème zuò?!" (Why did you do that?!)
"See? Luckily, we included subtitles. Look, I can do another thing." Takasugi goes up to flip the bird to Cao Pi. "Rúhé cūsú..." (How vulgar...)
"Oh, you guys know what this means."
"Nà zītài kěyǐ zhuīsù dào xīlà rén." (That gesture dates back to the Greeks.)
"Huh, you learn new things everyday."
"I don't understand... how are they able to understand us if they only spoke Mandarin?"
"Don't make this into a big plot hole the author has to explain."
"Fine." Takasugi presses another button and slaps Sima Yi. "Ah! Usted insolente tonto!" (You insolent fool!)
"Hahaha! He sounds so funny in Spanish!"
"Que?" (What?)
"Kahahahahahahaha! Oh...my...god...hahahaha! You sound so funny!"
"Deja de reírte de mí..." (Stop laughing at me...)
"Let's see French..." He presses a button.
"Qu'avez-vous fait?" (What did you do?)
"You sound so elegant. How about German?" He presses a button again.
"Ich verstehe nicht, was Sie hier zu tun versuchen werden." (I don't understand what you are doing here.)
"Okay, okay... I'll switch you back to your original language."
"Tíngzhǐ gēn wǒ wán xiàng yīgè wánjù..." (Stop playing with me like some toy...)
"Stop playing with Sima Yi like if he were a Buzz Lightyear toy back in Toy Story 3!"
"Oh, come on, they all sound funny in different languages. Ok, I'll switch you guys back to English. What's next?"
"Make a Over 9000 meme, a Spartan kick meme, and a Lazer meme."
"Xiahou Dun, you know the drill."
"Huu..." Xiahou Dun readies himself and gets Takasugi's sunglasses. "Hey! No!"
"IT'S OVER 9000!" Xiahou Dun breaks the sunglasses while yelling that out.
"AH! My sunglasses! Don't look at me!" He covers his face with his arm.
"Spartan kick... we already did that last chapter. Zhuge Liang, do your laser fan thing."
"Huh..." Zhuge Liang holds up his fan. "I'm firin' ma lazer..." A giant beam is blasted through the auditorium. Takasugi sips the lemonade in a corner, not showing his face.
"You know, we saw your face back when you had to inspect the kingdoms' rooms."
"No, you didn't."
"Um, I'm pretty sure you did."
"Nope."
"...No... not reading a lemon fic..."
"Here." Takasugi, without looking behind, throws a set of papers at Izuru.
"...Ugh...Fine..." Izuru looks in the papers for a bit before throwing it behind his shoulder quickly. "...What are you people reading these days...? And the ladies can annoy Dong Zhou because we made sure he's not here. Sorry for the bias, but no... no one wants him here... And... I'm just feeling lazy... so I don't want to do the video game stuff..." Takasugi has his back towards the screen holding a laptop. "...These girls are too young for me..."
"Seriously, what are you people watching these days?!"
Oh, I am so sorry for what I've done! Maybe I should tell them to lay off the drug- Moving on!
1. Since I thought you'll all gonna get fat soon, I dare Yue Ying, Zhang He, the Qiao sisters, Sima Yi and Diao Chan to make up a training/dance session for their associated kingdoms. What? I always care about your health.
2. Make them watch/read Creepypasta! What are their reactions?
3. By the way, my sister requested a divorce. She said that she thinks that you're all boring her. Now give your crushes/wives an apology kiss and tell all of the stories between you six and your not-wife!
4. About the Hetalia thing... Can they act out as the main characters of Hetalia and maybe... Have a play? Because I love Hetalia...
5. Hi crossdressing guys! I think that's the 2nd most thing I regretted... So, *shows a cat, bunny and horse', here are my animal friends! All you need to do is to take care of them until the next chapter so you all won't be depressed about dressing as ladies! Don't give chocolate to my cat, don't ignore my pink bunny and DON'T kick and punch my horse because it's so so fragile.
So, *hands over toys*. They're so cute and moe...
6. Do you know what's the true meaning of being a hero? I don't want 'Benevolence', 'Justice', 'Honor', 'Virtue', 'Chaos', 'Duty', 'Destiny', 'Heavens' or ANY one liner as an answer. What is a hero?
Ugh... I'm still guilty about the party thing... What if the military did something wrong? Oh well, *hugs everyone* Wait..
7. Well if it isn't Zhong Hui... I am SO disappointed of what you did to other characters in 'Forcing ancient people to live 2000 years into the future? Oh my!'. And you're lucky I 40% like you, because I'm letting everyone getting revenge on him in any other way. I don't care what you're all gotta do with him.
But don't kill him! What if we'll get chased my fangirls. But forgive me everyone! I'm doing this out of entertainment! I love *some of* you all in canon!
"Something doesn't seem right in that list... Sima Yi...? Dancing-" Sima yi hops into the portal once Izuru says the words.
"Hey! Get back here!" Izuru sticks half of his body into the portal to grab his foot, but he breaks free and Izuru grabs at something else. He gets out to be holding Sima Yi's hat. "...Oh well..." Zhang He dances around with the other people mentioned dancing along with him. "1, 2, 3! 1, 2, 3!"
"Next is some Creepypasta. I've never read any of that stuff..." Takasugi walks up to Izuru holding a laptop and he was wearing a Darth Vader helmet.
"Here, read some of these." Izuru looks through the screen with a bored expression. "These are not even scary."
"You know what's scary? Dong Zhou naked."
"Uuurrgh..."
"What about this?" Takasugi pushes another button.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAH! MY EYES!"
"See? Sima Yi and speedos DO NOT mix."
"Nrrgh..." Takasugi shows the Creepypasta stuff to a handful of characters.
Reactions:
Cao Cao: Meh. I've seen better.
Zhang Liao: This is child's play. Not even frightening.
Gan Ning: Hahaha! What's this? Did some kid write this?
Sun Quan: Mmm...not that scary...
Sun Ce: You know what's more scary? Seeing those phantoms...nrrrgh...
Zhuge Liang: *slightly shaking* It's not scary...
Pang Tong: Zhuge Liang in the shower is more scary than this...
Liu Bei: *girly scream* AAAAAAAH! That guy just disappeared! It's got to be something!
Sima Shi: Meh. I had to see Cao Shuang's guts when I killed him in DW7 and my own blood when I got shot in the eye.
Guo Huai: Not even enough to give me a heart attack...
"There you have it. Next, guess what guys! You six are now divorced!"
"YES!" Cao Pi runs over to Zhen Ji. "Don't worry, I used protection."
"...Eeeh... maybe wash up just to make sure..." Takasugi gives Sima Shi a military uniform. "Wear this."
"Why?"
"We have to do a skit."
Few minutes later, Sima Shi was in England's uniform and looked at himself. "...What are these clothes?" Takasugi from above the stage lets down a meatbun on a string near Sima Shi and makes it talk.
"Hi there!"
"Huuu... Flying meat bunny! Did you come here to cheer me up, huh?" Takasugi makes the meatbun "fly" around Sima Shi.
"I wanted to see you, Britian! So I flew right over!"
"Can I stop now?" Sima Shi takes the meatbun and walks off.
"Aw..."
The cat, horse, and bunny get on the stage. Ma Chao looks at the horse in amazement. "So...beautiful... I'll take care of this." The cat jumps onto Izuru's shoulder. Guan Yinping picks up the bunny, "Aww! It's so adorable!" She runs to an area to play with it. Izuru looks at the cat on his shoulder. "Should I name it?" The cat coughs a hairball at Takasugi when he gets down. "AH! UGH! Cat spit! Name it Hair spitter!"
"Now that's an awful name." Cao cao suggested, "What about Shit-thrower?"
"What?!" Sun Ce says, "How about Runny Potty mouth?"
"That's awful!" Wei Yan says out, "Isaac...Schneider...Dog...fish..."
"What?!" Sun Quan suggested, "1/3 true hate and 2/3 of Hangnail anxiety."
"That's not even a name!" Sima Shi says out, "I've got it! Shit-throwing the life out of Zhao's two day-old underwear!"
"WHAT?!" Takasugi then has a light bulb appear above his head. "Ah! Got it! I name this cat... Neko Neko Hair spitter Shit-throwing the life out of Zhao's two day-old underwear Behemoth Isaac Schneider 1/3 True hate 2/3 Hangnail Anxiety Ignore the guy calling you a dogfish I'm not talking about that dogfish I'm talking about the dogfish shark Angry sting ray Kokokokokokokokokokoko Runny Potty mouth."
"That's a long ass name!"
"Neko Neko Hair spitter Shit-throwing the life out of Zhao's two day-old underwear Behemoth Isaac Schneider 1/3 True hate 2/3 Hangnail Anxiety Ignore the guy calling you a dogfish I'm not talking about that dogfish I'm talking about the dogfish shark Angry sting ray Kokokokokokokokokokoko Runny Potty mouth" is not that long."
"Yes, it is!"
"Neko Neko Hair spitter Shit-throwing the life out of Zhao's two day-old underwear Behemoth Isaac Schneider 1/3 True hate 2/3 Hangnail Anxiety Ignore the guy calling you a dogfish I'm not talking about that dogfish I'm talking about the dogfish shark Angry sting ray Kokokokokokokokokokoko Runny Potty mouth is hungry, I bet."
"You're saying that whole name?!"
"Yes, Neko Neko Hair spitter Shit-throwing the life out of Zhao's two day-old underwear Behemoth Isaac Schneider 1/3 True hate 2/3 Hangnail Anxiety Ignore the guy calling you a dogfish I'm not talking about that dogfish I'm talking about the dogfish shark Angry sting ray Kokokokokokokokokokoko Runny Potty mouth deserves to be called its name."
"I'm... you take care of the cat..."
"Fine. Come, Neko Neko Hair spitter Shit-throwing the life out of Zhao's two day-old underwear Behemoth Isaac Schneider 1/3 True hate 2/3 Hangnail Anxiety Ignore the guy calling you a dogfish I'm not talking about that dogfish I'm talking about the dogfish shark Angry sting ray Kokokokokokokokokokoko Runny Potty mouth.
"...So... guys... What makes a a hero?" Cao Cao says out, "A hero is someone who will be able to serve anyone with loyalty." Liu Bei says out,"Someone who puts the people ahead of themselves." Sun Quan says, "Someone who cherishes all around him."
"Wow, such strong ideals. Lastly, Zhong Hui has to atone for his sins back in that long-ass title story." Izuru hangs him like a pinata in the middle of the stage and walks off. "Take your time."
"Wait! AH!" Izuru sits off, ignoring what was behind him. "So, why are you still wearing that Darth Vader helmet?" Takasugi stands next to him with the cat. "Until I get new sunglasses, this stays on. Those ones I was wearing cost a fortune!"
"Why don't you want the audience seeing your eyes?"
"Because I don't want them to."
"Why?"
"None of your beeswax." He ducks as a chair flies over him. "They're tearing him apart there."
"Just wait until the next set of reviews come in."
I was feeling too lazy to do this chapter, thus this seems incomplete.
That long name thing goes to Gintama.