Chapter XI
Kaja wakes up wondering what day it is and what time it is. She looks around the living room and notices she is the only one in the room. The asari rubs her eyes, trying to wake up. She looks outside to see the two guards standing on her front porch then remembers today is Friday and she's under house arrest. Rubbing her forehead, Kaja searches the bedrooms for her kids. Karrera is in her room, reading a hardbound book.
Kaja knocks on the bedroom door before she enters Karrera's bedroom. "What are you reading?"
Karrera puts her finger on the page she is reading then closes the book. "A book Cass thought I would like that I'm just now starting. It's called "The Jungle" by Upton Sinclair. It's a classic human book. Set in the early 20th century."
"Cass was right, I think you will enjoy it. It's a good book, I've read it before. Are you okay, Karrera?" asks Kaja.
"Yea, dad, I'm fine. Everyone else is outside. Grandma asked everyone to let you sleep, so they went outside. That fort thingy you got for them is being assembled now. That has their attention. Are you okay, dad?" Kara hugs her father.
Kaja hugs Karrera back. "No, I'm not, Karrera, but I'll manage. Thanks for asking. I'm going to find the others," The elder asari kisses her daughter's crest before heading to the backyard. She bumps a picture hanging on the wall, so she stops to straighten it. Kaja almost loses her composure when she sees it's a picture of Cass from one of their trips to her family's private island on Earth. She mumbles under her breath, "I miss you, Cass," then walks away.
Eric and Derek round the corner and almost run into Kaja. Derek is practically bouncing off the walls, bubbling with excitement. Eric is happy, but is not nearly as excited as his brother. Derek says, "Momma, momma, you have to see our castle. It's so big." Each boy takes one of Kaja's hands and leads her to the backyard.
The delivery people are finished assembling the castle and they assure Liara, it's safe to use. With everything going on with Kaja, the last thing they need is for the boys to have an accident playing on their new toy. It takes up about a quarter of the backyard. There is a slide on one side and a swing on the other. It's shaped like a ancient human castle with the company logo as the flag on the castle's highest peak. There are even a few accessories they didn't buy for the fort the boys might want to add-on later, like a big water gun.
There is an IPD guarding the backdoor, which Kaja finds strange. She knows Perez said she was confined to the house, but she didn't think that meant she couldn't go outside and play with her sons in the backyard. The police officer stops Kaja when she steps onto the patio. "I'm sorry, Sarge, but the Alliance wants you to remain inside."
Kaja looks at her sons, then to Liara and her sisters. Derek looks disappointed and Eric looks surprised when their momma doesn't join them. Kaja replies after she tells the boys to go and play with it, "Okay, I'll say right here and watch them from here then." She grabs a chair from the kitchen table then sits with the patio door open and watches her sons play on their new toy.
Gaia walks over to her older sister, grabs a chair and sits next to her. "Kaja, I'm not sure what I'm suppose to say to you. I am sorry about Cass. I don't even remember anymore what started the whole thing. Those boys are so sweet and I've missed so much."
Kaja pulls Gaia in for an embrace. "I know what started it, but it doesn't matter anymore, Gaia. Everything changed when she died in my arms last night. They knew I had another sister, but we never talked about you. It was a sore topic for Cass. You coming has already made things easier. Even for that brief moment, when they realized you were their aunt it caused them to forget about their mom dying. Thank you for that."
"What's going on between you and the Alliance? Why are you under house arrest?" asks Gaia.
"I don't know for certain. My boss is pissed at the Alliance. The Alliance is pissed at the department. Ben and I are caught in the middle," answers Kaja.
"They've arrested your partner too? What the hell?!" Gaia shakes her head. "Maybe it's best to try to not understand politics." Politics is a topic Gaia prefers to not talk about. All it ever does it cause arguments between friends when their views clash.
Kaja stands when she watches Eric playing recklessly, but sits back down when she sees Liara talking to him. She covers her mouth, thinking about the things she feels she needs to focus or keep an eye on. Eric's behavior is number one on her list. Derek's too. She knows what it's like to lose a parent, but not at their age. She knows she didn't handle her own father's death very well and needs to make sure her sons do a better job than she did. They can't throw themselves into work and turn their feelings off like she did. She's seen enough over the years working the streets to know children don't always react well to losing a parent.
Kaja gets herself and Gaia a glass of tea. "I don't know. Perez thinks this will blow over today, I get the sense it won't blow over for a few days. The Alliance doesn't always do things quickly if they feel they are in the right."
"Which they are not in this case, Kaja." says Liara when she joins her daughters. Liv is still playing with the boys. She needs to duck while inside of it, but it's roomy enough for eight to ten kids. "Gaia will you excuse us. I need to talk to your sister in private."
Gaia answers, "Sure, mom." The actress goes outside, sets her tea on the patio table, then joins her younger sister and nephews.
Liara pats on Gaia's arm then closes the patio door before she takes Gaia's place in the chair. "I did some digging and passed on what I found to Chief Perez. What did you do to Nichols, Kaja?"
"He was behind Cass. Holding a pistol to her head. He told me to drop my guns on the floor or he was going to shoot her, so I did." Kaja turns and places her hand on her mother's shoulder, "Cass motioned for me to take him, so I slammed him against the wall then tossed him out a window."
"With your biotics?" asks Liara.
Shaking her head at the question, Kaja answers, "Of course with my biotics. Once Jimmy was away from Cass, I took her into my arms. She told me to take care of them and she loved me. That was all she said before she died, mom." Kaja wills herself to keep it together. She'd love nothing more than to breakdown and have Liara hold her and tell her things are okay. She can't do that, not while her sons are around. They need her to do that for them, to stay strong. "Why couldn't he just come after me and leave Cass alone? She didn't deserve this. I'm trained to handle scum like him. Cass wasn't."
Liara rubs on Kaja's upper back when Kaja leans forward. "I know, Kaja. He went after her because she was an easy target. You don't need me to tell you that."
Kaja looks behind them to see if Karrera is close by. She isn't, so Kaja says bluntly, "Help me find those who helped him escape."
"Not here," answers Liara quickly. She gives Kaja a look which tells her daughter to change the subject.
"What did you find and pass on to Chief Perez?" asks Kaja changing the topic.
Chuckling, Liara grins at Kaja. "Oh, a damaging message that goes against orders given the day of the escape. Major Aaron Nutter is about to have a bad weekend. Don't expect your grounding, I think is how Eric put it, to be over until Monday at the earliest. I'll let Perez give you more details when you see her next."
"Thanks mom." Kaja finishes her tea, then goes to get another glass. She leans with both hands on the counter thinking about where she goes from here. Even though her mother has assured her things will work out when it comes to the Alliance. Her job isn't in jeopardy, but she's thinking about resigning anyway. Do something less dangerous. Something which allows her the most time with her family. It might disappoint Derek though. He's so proud she's a cop. Every picture he draws of her, she is wearing her badge.
Kaja watches Derek and Gaia doing a scene from what Kaja thinks is from the Justice Code vid where Gaia played the villain. Derek mimics a move he sees Justicar Doreen do in every vid, his move causes Gaia to fall on the ground, pretending the move wounded her. "I'm glad Gaia's here. She's making things easier for them. Just look at them, mom." Kaja points out the window. "Their mother is sitting in the morgue on a slab and they are forgetting about that because she's playing with them."
Liara grins while watching what is going on outside. She feels bad Kaja is stuck in the house, but at least she's not in a holding cell like Kaja's partner, Ben Livingston. He didn't do anything worth being locked up, but the Alliance isn't budging on their position. At least not yet. Liara is sure things will smooth out over the weekend. If not, she'll apply more pressure than she has already. "Kaja, you don't need to be crude about it. Watch what you say, please."
"Why? They're outside and can't hear me. Besides, she is at the morgue, mom. I took her there last night, remember?" Kaja storms off, heading to the basement. Kaja wants to go for a walk. To think, to clear her head or a punishing run to relieve the tension she feels building. She can't go for a walk or even go outside to play with her children. Kaja doesn't even bother to put on her training gloves before she starts punching on the punching bag. Without realizing it, Kaja flares her biotics so when her fist connects with the bag, the bag goes flying across the basement, hitting the far wall with a thud. Kaja dashes after the bag, straddles it like it was Jimmy and punches it with both fists as hard as she can. She continues to punch the bag until both her knuckles bleed and the bag breaks open and the stuffing starts falling to the floor.
Liara follows Kaja to the basement, but remains silent as she watches her daughter take out her anger and frustrations on the punching bag. Liara doesn't move until Kaja finally stops punching on the broken bag and breaks down crying. She wraps her arms around Kaja holding her close. Kaja wraps her arms around her mom, crying against her shoulder. "I'm here, little one." Liara hasn't called Kaja, 'little one' since Karrera moved in.
Kaja pushes away from her mom's embrace. "I got blood on your dress, mom. Sorry."
"It will wash out," replies Liara.
"I've lost my anchor. The only thing keeping me somewhat grounded are my kids. I feel lost again, just like when dad died. I can't afford to get drunk or work too much this time. Derek and Eric need me. Karrera too. I can't afford to not be there for them. What do I do now?" asks Kaja before she covers her eyes with her hands and cries.
"You take it day by day. Focus on what you know you need to do. Which is taking care of your kids and yourself. You need them as much as they need you. I'm always here for you. Your sisters too," answers Liara while she holds Kaja in her arms. "Kaja, I've already taken care of the forger who helped Nichols with his alias."
"Thanks, mom. Any news on who helped him escape the prison besides the salarian and Liv's employee?" asks the grieving asari.
Liara rubs on Kaja's arms. "If the prison authorities have more than what I have seen, they've not said put it on any report. Everyone who helped Nichols is dead, Kaja. Please, don't focus on that. Focus on your children and help them get through this."
Kaja nods in agreement with her mother's words. She notices how battered her knuckles are when she wipes the tears from her face and the saline in the tears sting the open wounds. "I suppose I should clean up. I love you, mom." She gets off the punching bag and heads to her bedroom to clean the wounds on her hands and to change clothes. Kaja's posture as she walks away shows defeat with her shoulders slumped and head down.
"I love you too, Kaja." Liara follows close behind. She's noticed one thing. If Kaja is close to her kids, she seems in control. If she's not, she's borders on being out of control. Her biotic punch and beating on the punching bag is proof enough for Liara to understand how much Cass' death is affecting Kaja. The situation with the Alliance isn't helping. Liara needs to maintain the proper balance. She doesn't want to hover, but she doesn't want Kaja being alone either. She hopes Kaja takes her advice and takes it day by day. It the only way her daughter will get through this.
After cleaning up her hands and changing her clothes, Kaja is in the basement, cleaning up the mess she made with the punching bag. Since using her biotics to punch the bag, causing to fly across the basement and literally beating the stuffing out if it, Kaja's anger and frustrations washed away with each punch. She's paying for it because both hands hurt across her knuckles. However she's using that pain as a constant reminder to keep her emotions in check. She can't afford an outburst like that in front of her children. It's bad enough, her mother only watched and didn't intervene until she had stopped punching on the bag. Kaja sweeps the mess into the dustpan and dumps it into a trash can.
Gaia joins Kaja in the basement. The actress now knows what her sister did to her hands. She beat on the punching bag until they bled. "Kaja, since we're alone. I'd like to talk if you're up for it."
Kaja looks at her sister. The elder sister isn't sure what Gaia wants, but doesn't want to fight with her about anything. She started to say something before their mother interrupted them and she came downstairs and vented her anger on the punching bag. "Sure, Gaia." Kaja sits on what is leaft of the punching bag, which is still lying on the floor against the wall.
"I'm not sitting on that, Kaja. There's blood on it," protests Gaia. She points to the blue blood stains on the bag.
"No shit, Gaia," says Kaja with too much sarcasm in her voice. She shows her knuckles to her sister.
Shaking her head, Gaia walks away and sits on the stationary bike. She leans against the handlebars. "I should have said this a while ago, Kaja, but I'm sorry for what I did at the vacation house on Earth. I knew you and Cass were there. I didn't care and went there anyway and when you weren't there. Well, I'm sorry."
"Yea, well. It doesn't matter anymore, Gaia. Everything is different now. I don't like it, but there isn't a damn thing I can do to change it." She gets off the bag and walks closer to Gaia. "If I could change places with Cass, I would do it in heartbeat and not regret anything except for not talking to you these past few years. I love you, Gaia, but don't ever expect me to kiss your blue ass. Because I'll never kiss your ass. And you should know that."
Gaia nods, "I do know that." She isn't sure what all she should say to Kaja. How much does she want to share with her sister? "Like I said, I should have done this sooner and I wish I had. I can't change what happened. I'll be honest, I don't remember why I started to dislike Cass all those years ago. I am sorry she's gone, Kaja. I can see how much you loved and miss her." Gaia gets off the bike seat and hugs Kaja. "I love you, sis."
Sis. Now, there is a word, Kaja hasn't heard from Gaia in over a decade. It feels good for her to hear it too. She holds Gaia close. "I miss her a great deal. I don't even know what to do now. Okay, I do know what I need to do, but I'm not sure I can pull it off. Not without help." Kaja's asking for Gaia's help without actually asking her directly.
"What do you need from me, Kaja?" asks Gaia when she steps away from Kaja. She gives her sister a warm sincere smile.
Kaja rubs on Gaia's upper left arm, "Be my sister, Gaia. Not that raving snobbish bitch you are at times. Be aunt Gaia. That's all I want and need from you. Can you do that for me or is that too much to ask of you?" Kaja closes her eyes to help fight the tears she feels coming.
Kaja sounds bitter, but Gaia doesn't blame her. She has been a bitch to everyone around her and she knows it. She's been trying to not snap on her assistants or anyone else working for her. Since the incident at the family's vacation home on Earth, Gaia has gone through five assistants, most quit because they can't stand working for her for very long. She also fired one bodyguard which caused the others to quit, sod she never bothered to replace them. They didn't bother to protect her against Kaja, so she figures she's better off saving her credits. The only people Gaia has working for her now is a personal assistant to help her keep track of her busy schedule and a driver. Both normally go everywhere with Gaia, but Liara has asked her several times over the years to leave the entourage behind when coming to visit. She wants to see her daughter, not the famous actress' entourage.
Gaia looks at the grief written all over Kaja's face. Furrowing her brow, Gaia starts remembering a few things her father said often when they were growing up about doing ones duty. She never fully bought into that, Kaja did hook, line, and sinker. Now, seeing how Kaja's life got turned upside down with Cass dying unexpectedly, she is feeling a strong urge to do the right thing for her family. "I can do that, sis. Your sons seem very sweet and well-behaved. I wish I met them before today. Derek really does love Justicar Doreen."
A grin appears on Kaja's face, "That he does. Do me one favor, Gaia. Goddess. Please, don't ever talk negatively about Cass in front of them. Please. Rant at me if you must, but leave them out of it, Gaia. They don't even know what was going one between us. They don't need to know."
"Don't worry, I won't. I'm not the monster everyone thinks I am, Kaja. I've lost things too, you know," responds Gaia.
Kaja wants to respond to the monster comment, then decides she is better off not saying anything. "Thank you. I'm sorry, I'm being short with you. I'm only looking out for them. I love you, Gaia, but I don't know how much I can trust you. We haven't exactly been on speaking terms lately. I will say this, you being here has made things easier for Derek and Eric and I appreciate that more than I can ever say."
Liara walks downstairs to look for Kaja after she realized her eldest wasn't upstairs. She sees Kaja and Gaia talking to each other, so Liara stands quietly watching to make sure they aren't fighting. The last thing Kaja needs is for Gaia to go on one of her an anti-Cass tirades. The few hours Gaia has been home, she hasn't said anything negative about anything, so maybe Gaia is turning a corner with her attitude towards others. Liara takes a wait and see approach to it.
Gaia says, "You're welcome, sis. I've missed out on too much. I'm sorry it took this to bring us back together. I should have said I was sorry before now. Because it feels like I'm saying it too late. I want to be here for you and your kids. I hate to ask this. When is Cass' funeral?"
"I don't know yet. I don't want to make plans for anything until the medical examiner releases her body. Which won't be until Monday or Tuesday if not later. I doubt it's next week though. Do you need to get back to work?" Kaja notices Liara on the stairs. She doesn't make eye contact, but she wishes her mother would stop watching every move she makes. It's bad enough she's trapped inside her own home, she doesn't need mom hovering over her too. Yet, at the same time, it's comforting to know her mother cares enough to keep watch.
"Yes, I do. I won't leave until Sunday night. I was suppose to work last night, tonight and two other days with this vid. That's it. I have a small part in a low budget vid. I asked the director to replace me, but even though my part is small, I'm the only big name in it. So, they want me back. I promise to return for the funeral. I wouldn't miss that. My next part doesn't start for a few weeks. When I come back, I'll stay until I have to leave for work again. Unless you don't want me to stay for an extended period of time?" Gaia hopes Kaja tells her to stay. She wants to spend time with her nephews and niece.
Kaja grins, "Please, stick around and let my kids get to know you, Gaia. I would like that very much."
Liara smiles at her daughters then walks back upstairs. She's seen enough to know the chances of them fighting are slim to none. Nothing like a death in the family to bring the family together. It isn't how she wanted her daughters to interact with each other as adults. Children grow up, leave home, and don't always return home. Liara feels like she is the luckiest person in the galaxy. Things are not always perfect, but if they were, things would actually get boring.
"So would I," says Gaia. She smooches her older sister's cheek. "I have to say this, Kaja, you're turning into dad. I think that it is a good thing. You're little speech to Derek about why did Cass had to leave them is something like dad would have said in that situation."
Kaja blushes. "Nah, I'm just trying to pass on her wisdom to my kids. Let's go and join the others. I'm done for now. I need to buy a new punching bag."
The two sisters hug before going upstairs. Kaja leaves the broom and dustpan and the trashcan in the basement. She'll finish cleaning everything up at a later time. This is the best Kaja has felt since leaving the police academy early yesterday. She still doesn't completely trust Gaia to not say anything negative about Cass, but time will tell. Kaja wants to trust her sister again. Like all other wounds, they take time to mend.
Three Days Later
Everyone is sitting at the kitchen table eating lunch, everyone except for Gaia, who has returned to Earth so she can finish shooting the vid she is in. She did promise the twins and Kaja, she would return as soon as she is able. Kaja never thought her sister cared enough to come home during a time like this, but she's glad she was wrong. Gaia does care, she is just bad at showing it. Too bad it took a death in the family to bring the T'Soni sisters together again.
"I'll get it," says Kaja when there is a knock on the front door. The armed guards are still outside, but Kaja has gotten to the point where she no longer cares. If she answers the door, it puts pressure on the Alliance guard to explain why the person can't enter the house. It's bad enough Kaja can't go outside, but it's worse when the Alliance won't allow visitors to enter the house. Even if the visitor is a friend of the twins.
Kaja's eyes get big like saucers when she sees Chief Perez at the door and the guard detail leaving. "Ah, afternoon, Chief. Please, come in." Kaja holds the door open for Perez as she keeps her eyes on the guards getting into separate skycars and get ready to drive away.
Perez pulls Kaja's badge from her pocket. "Where's that son of yours, Sargent? The one who saw me take this from you." She shows Kaja her badge.
Kaja puts a finger in the air as a sign to Perez to give her a minute to get him. "Let me go get him." A grin appears on the asari's face when she turns to get her sons, so they can witness her getting her police badge back. "Derek, Eric, if you come with me. I have something I want you to see."
The twins exchange curious looks with each other. However, they also see their momma with a grin on her face. Eric whispers something to Derek which causes Derek to shrugs his shoulders and whisper something back. Derek says and points when he sees Deputy Chief Perez, "You took momma's badge away."
Perez kneels down in front of the two boys. She smiles at them before replying, "Yes, I did." She hands Derek Kaja's badge. "I think she needs this back, don't you?"
Derek nods his head then takes the badge and stares at it. This isn't the first time he's held onto it, but this time it means something more to him. It tells him his momma can now go and catch the bad guys again. He hands it to Kaja, "Here momma, now you can catch the bad guys."
"Thank you, Chief." Kaja takes her badge from Derek then hands it to Eric so he can hold it.
Eric runs his hand over the badge before handing it back, "Momma? Can we go outside and play?"
"Yes, but no roughhousing." Kaja hugs and kisses each boy before they run through the house, out the patio door, making a beeline for their newest toy.
Perez smiles as she hands Sgt. T'Soni her sidearm, "Everything between the department and the Alliance has been taken care of. Det. Livingston has been released from custody and is on his way home. You're free to go outside and play with your kids. You're still on personal leave for the next four weeks then I'm transferring you back to your old unit."
Kaja starts to say something about not wanting to work for Capt. Tish. Chief Perez puts her hand up as she continues talking, "Tish put in his retirement papers last week. That usually takes four to six weeks to process. You're replacing him, Sargent. You're the homicide squad's new CO. I won't take no for an answer, T'Soni." Perez gazes around Kaja's house then sees Tracy sitting at the kitchen table. "I don't want to know how you got her past the Alliance."
The asari rubs her neck with an impish grin, "I have no idea how she got in. I went to the bathroom and when I came out, she was sitting in my living room, kissing my sister." Kaja shrugs her shoulders, pretending she doesn't know Tracy used the tactical cloak program from her omni-tool to enter the house Friday night. She doubts Perez is buying it, but again she doubts Perez cares Tracy is in the house. "Again, thank you, Chief. I'll be more than happy to replace Captain Tish," replies Kaja. She shakes Perez's hand then opens the door for her CO.
Before Perez leaves, she turns to say, "Oh, before I forget. The ME promised me they would have Dr. Mitchell's body ready for release by noon tomorrow. You can go ahead and make arraignments for her funeral. I'm sorry, Kaja. If you need anything, don't hesitate to call me."
"I won't, Chief; thank you." Kaja watches Perez get into her car before she closes the door.
Tracy and Liv enter the living room holding hands, Tracy says, "I hope me being inside doesn't get you into trouble, Kaja."
"Don't worry about it, Tracy. It was the Alliance that insisted on that stipulation, not my boss." Kaja slaps her hands together. "Now that I'm free to go outside and play with my sons, that is what I'm going to do. Joining me?" She puts her gun in its usual safe location in her bedroom, but puts her badge on her hip before going outside to join Eric and Derek playing on their castle.
Liara smiles at Kaja as her daughter puts her hands in the air in a victory pose when she walks outside. She hurries to finish putting the dishes away before she joins everyone else outside. The past few days have been rough on everyone. Having the armed guard presence gone, has brightened the mood in the house. Kaja being able to play with her sons on their new outside toy will make things easier going forward. Or that is what Liara hopes for anyway.
There is still a funeral to plan. Liara doubt Kaja has forgotten about it. Cass' body is still at the morgue, so there is no hurry to start those plans today. Kaja and her family have many hurdles ahead of them. Some hurdles they might trip over and need help getting through which Liara will gladly assist in any way possible. Today is a day to let Kaja for the first time in days, actually enjoy playing with her children. It didn't take long for Liara to hear two boys giggling and laughing while playing with their momma.
As Liara stands on the porch, with one arm across her chest, her elbow on her forearm with her hand near her chin, she starts thinking about how much she wishes Shepard was here with them. Leia always had a way of making the toughest times easier. The longer she watches Kaja and her grandsons, the more she realizes, Shepard really is with them. The older Kaja gets, the more she sees Leia in Kaja. Once, Kaja stopped trying to follow in her fathers footsteps and learned to follow her examples instead, Kaja has blossomed into her father in every positive way.
With Cass' passing, Liara fears Kaja might regress instead of moving forward. That thought has Liara questioning if she's setting a good enough example by still having Leia's pictures and other items around the house. To Liara, many of those items hold as much historical value as sentimental value. Especially, Leia's armor and weapons. The pictures are sentimental, even the group picture from their eventful shore leave during the war. Liara pushes her thoughts about her late bondmate to the side then walks across the yard to play with the twins.
One Week Later
The cemetery is thinning out, leaving Kaja, Derek, Eric, and Karrera alone next to Cass' grave. Kaja has Karrera take the twins to the car, so she can spend time alone with Cass' body one last time. Liv, Tracy, and Gaia walk toward their car with Liara and Mr. and Mrs. Mitchell following close behind. The cemetery workers are slowly lowering the casket into the ground and Kaja politely asks them to give her a few minutes before lowering her any further. They honor her request and walk far enough away to give Kaja some privacy.
Kaja places the yellow rose she's been holding on the casket. Tears roll down her cheeks. "I miss you so much, Cass. I'll do my best to provide the best home I can for our sons. Your sons. I look at them and I see you. Neither have your eye color, but both have your smile and your mannerisms. They miss you so much. Karrera too. We all love you, Cass. I'll try to move on. For now, my focus is their happiness, not mine. It's going to take a special person to grab my attention. Someone special like you. You've given me more than I ever imagined and I hope I can give the same to our sons. I'm going to give them my best effort and hope it's enough. My best wasn't enough to keep you safe. I'm sorry for that. I'll live with that guilt for a long time. Everyone is waiting for me, so I have to go. I love you, Dr. Cassandra Mitchell." Kaja kisses her fingers then places them on the casket next to the rose. She rejoins her children as they walk to the car.
Kaja glances in the direction of her father's grave, wishing she had the time to stop and spend time there. She has a houseful of family and friends waiting for her. More people showed up for the funeral than she thought would. It shows Kaja how respected Cass was within the community because of her work at the history museum. That makes Kaja miss Cass more. Knowing the community is also going to miss her bondmate, her soul mate, the mother of her sons. Most only attended the ceremony at the funeral home and didn't come to the cemetery or are going to Kaja's house.
People have brought over more food than Kaja knows what to do with. Too much of it is cakes and cookies. It's one thing about humans, Kaja has yet to figure out. Why family and friends bring over so much food when someone dies? Especially desserts type food. Why can't someone bring over a nice pot of gumbo or stew? Kaja chokes on her saliva when she sees a big pot of gumbo sitting on the counter. "Who brought the gumbo?" She grabs a bowl then fills it with the gumbo.
Liara answers, "I believe the gumbo is from Adele. I made a comment to her about it a couple of days ago when she called me asking if she should do or bring anything today. I only said, something hearty to eat would be nice."
"Well, I must thank her. This is good stuff. Try some." Kaja shoves another spoonful of gumbo into her mouth.
Derek and Eric look at their momma, Eric asks. "Can we have some gumbo, momma?"
Kaja wipes her chin when a little gumbo dribbles down her chin. "Go and change out of your suits first. I'll have your bowls ready for you when you return."
Derek hugs Kaja, "Thanks momma." Eric does the same, hugs and thanks Kaja before they both weave through the crowd mingling about in the house.
Liara pats on Kaja's arm before she gets the stack of bowls down from the cabinet and a bunch of spoons from the drawer. Gaia brought a bunch of throw away plates with forks and knives and plenty of cups, but no bowls or spoons. Kaja has the boy's bowls waiting for them when they weave their way back to the kitchen. She chuckles at both because they are goofing around. She thought they would have had a harder time today. They did cry during the ceremony and the ride to the cemetery. But stopped when everyone came over to give their condolences to the family.
Now, they seem content on eating and playing. Kaja wouldn't want it any other way. She mingles with her family and friends after she picks up the bowls when the twins get done eating. Gaia plays with the twins. Fabian comments to Kaja, "She's not a complete bitch. I never knew Gaia had a soft side. I'm sorry about Cass, Kaja. I miss her."
Kaja hugs Fabian. "I miss her too, Fabian. Gaia has surprised me too and I've known her for a few centuries. So, don't attempt to figure her out. Your head will just explode." She grins at the hairdresser.
"Oh, girl, you need me to do your hair," says Fabian to Tracy when she walks by heading outside.
Tracy stops and turns to Fabian. "Well, my girlfriend likes it just fine, Fabian." Tracy teases her hair. "Besides, you cost too much," teases Tracy as she waves her hand at Fabian.
"Cost too much? Oh, girl, that will cost you double," teases Fabian back.
"No friend discount? I'm hurt, Fabian." Tracy hugs her friend then hugs Kaja. "The service was nice. You okay?"
Fabian walks away looking for his partner, Esteban, leaving Tracy and Kaja alone. Kaja shakes her head, "Not really, but I'm managing. Thanks for asking. When are you and Liv leaving?"
Tracy pats Kaja's upper arm, "I'm leaving in the morning. I need to get back to work. I don't know if Liv is coming with me or not. She didn't answer me when I asked her about it this morning."
"Everything okay with you two?" asks Kaja attempting to change the subject.
"We're fine, Kaja. No need to worry about us. She might stay longer and I wish I could, that's all. When you're the boss, you can take more time off than if your like me, just an employee. I had some vacation days, so I took them," says Tracy when she hugs Kaja again. "Now to play with your little beggars before I go home tomorrow. I hope you don't mind."
Kaja chuckles every time Tracy calls the twins 'little beggars'. It's anything but truthful. They've never begged Tracy to buy them anything and almost every time she sees them, she's buying them some type of toy and she makes it seem like they earned it. "Please, be my guest. They love playing with you."
Tracy says before heading out the patio door, "I love those boys, Kaja. I'm always here for them and you if I'm needed."
"Thanks. That means a lot," replies Kaja. The asari widow mingles, trying her best to talk to everyone who stopped over. Her squad sent a huge flower wreath to the cemetery, but none showed up at the service. She's still in her dress blues uniform, but her white gloves are in her jacket pocket. She wore it instead of the customary black dress because she felt Cass would want her in her uniform and not in the black dress.
Chief Perez along with her squad walk through the front door. Kaja watches what she thinks is a little flirting between Perez and her mother when Liara lets them in. Kaja walks over the new arrivals and shakes everyone hands and thanks them for stopping by.
Ben slaps his new CO on the arm, "Sorry we couldn't get here sooner, Sarge. Duty calls. I hope to have it closed before you come back. So, I'll spare you the details. "
"I'm glad everyone is here. That wreath was nice. The twins liked it. Especially Derek. It had the police logo on it. He can't get enough since Perez gave him my badge to give back to me," says Kaja as she smacks Ben back.
Everyone mingles together, including the newest arrivals. The crowd slowly thins out after a few hours. Kaja is able to get a some of her friends to take some of the food home with them. She has more than she needs or even wants. She flops in a chair after everyone leaves. Derek with Eric right next to him asks, "Momma, what's for dinner?"
"I don't know. What do you want for dinner?" asks Kaja. She looks at them both.
They say in unison, "Pizza!"
Kaja leans closer to her sons. She looks at Eric then Derek. "Well, that's a problem."
Eric asks, "How so?"
"I don't know how to make pizza," teases Kaja.
"You know how to call for pizza, momma," comments Derek.
Kaja gives them a shocked look with her hand on her chest, "I do? You sure about that?"
The twins nod in unison with Derek says, "I'm sure, momma."
Kaja hugs them both. "What do you want on your half this time, Eric? Derek the usual? Mushroom, ham, and sausage?"
"How many topping do I get?" asks Eric.
Derek answers for Kaja, "Three. It's how many I get all the time, weirdo."
"Psst," responds Eric. The youth puts a serious thinking look on his face. Which topping does he want this time. He rarely gets the same topping two pizzas in a row and it's been a few weeks, so he doesn't remember which toppings he got last time. "I want ham, extra cheese, and pineapple."
"Pineapple doesn't go on pizza. Yuk." Derek scrunches his nose at the thought of a pineapple on pizza.
"It's his half, Derek. He can have what he wants on it. Same as you," responds Kaja. She walks to see what her daughter, mom, sisters, and in-laws want on their pizza. Liv and Tracy volunteer to pick the pizzas up because Tracy wants to pick up some beer. Mr. and Mrs. Mitchell insist on paying for the pizzas, which Kaja respectfully declines. It's bad enough they're staying at a hotel, no way is Kaja going to let them buy dinner too.
The mood in the house isn't upbeat, but isn't somber. It almost seems like a normal night, but everyone knows it is anything but a normal night. Eric and Derek play Pajak Trap with their grandparents at the kitchen table which has been moved to the dining room so everyone is in the same room. Kaja, Liv, Gaia, Karrera, and Tracy play poker with Liara being the dealer at the dining room table That way, Gaia can't say Liv is counting cards or Kaja is cheating. Even though Liv does count cards. She can't help it. It comes naturally to her.
Gaia's behavior has been a shock to everyone, including Liara. Liara wasn't sure how Gaia would act to the news of Cass dying, but is very happy with Gaia and how she is handling being around Kaja again. The last time they were together, Gaia ended up in the pool after being tossed there by Kaja. After hearing the story from all three daughters and Cass, Liara knew Gaia deserved what Kaja did, but was disappointed in them both when it happened.
Now, you wouldn't know they hadn't spoken for almost seven years. Same with Liv and Gaia. This proves to Liara that how she and Leia raised their children was the right way. The one thing Leia preached to all three girls was for them to be there for each other when they needed it the most. Gaia has done that and done it without a complaint. The only thing Liara has heard from Gaia has been about how she's missed out on spending time with her nephews and how it is her own fault. Hopefully, the three sisters can get close again like they were when they were younger. Kaja needs the support and so does her kids.
Kaja glances around the room. The boys are smiling while playing their game with grandma and grandpa Mitchell. She smiles when she hears the krogan laugh when the pyjak gets caught in the trap. The laugh sounds like Grunt's laugh. She needs to contact him and ask him about it. The boys will love knowing they know the krogan in their new favorite game. Kaja makes eye contact with Mr. Mitchell, he nods approvingly to his daughter-in-law. She's thankful, they don't blame her for their daughter's death. There are times she feels if she could have done more, gotten there faster, maybe Cass wouldn't have died.
Dwelling on 'what ifs' won't help Kaja get past her grief. She knows this, but knowing and doing are two different things. She watches Derek's face when his pyjak wins the game. They're the reason she can keep going. Why she must keep going and not wallow in self-pity and guilt. In a few days when everything goes back to normal or their new normal is her next test. The test to see if she has what it takes to raise two human sons alone. It's not uncommon for her people to raise their daughters alone, but a T'Soni is not a common asari. They get a career too young, bond too young, and have kids too young by asari standards.
Kaja looks around the table, she smiles at Karrera who just bluffed Liv into folding a Jack high straight. Her daughter makes her proud and reminds her at the same time of the mistakes she made the last time she was in this situation. Dealing with a death in the family and not handling it very well. She vows she'll do better this time. Because not only do the twins need her, so does Karrera. She looks at her sisters and realizes how wise her father really was. Family is important, but so is one's duty and sometimes family comes first. She's not sure if her father would agree at putting family before duty to the whole, but for Kaja there is no whole without her family.
Kaja always knew Cass would pass away some day. She never once thought Cass would die because of something that happened twenty years ago. Let alone Cass becoming a murder victim, a statistic. Statistics, everyone in the galaxy is one. Dead or alive and Kaja hates to break it down to those simplistic terms, but it's helping her cope with her loss. She also hates all the negative feelings she has felt since Cass died in her arms. She smiles at Gaia who is busy teasing Liv about being bluffed out of the winning hand by a pair of fours.
If there is a silver lining in Cass' death, it's Gaia. Kaja doubts she would have contacted her sister about Cass. Knowing how her sister felt about her bondmate, Kaja doubted very much Gaia cared enough about her to come home. She couldn't have been more wrong. Either Liara has said something to Gaia or Gaia has finally realized the type of person she was turning into and decided to change. What ever sparked it, Kaja is glad to have her younger sister back. Even if it's for a short time. Kaja still isn't sure how much she can trust Gaia. So far, she's kept her word. She returned as soon she was done with her production schedule and has been wonderful with the twins and Karrera.
Kaja is already handling Cass' death better than her father's. Not just because she has been remembering everything Dr. Tattius taught her about moving past one's grief, but because of her three children. She needs them as much as they need her and they need her to remain strong. Kaja is looking forward to everyone leaving and at the same time, she doesn't want anyone leaving. Having her sisters and in-laws around has given Kaja the stability she needs, but she also is wanting some privacy to mourn her loss. She hasn't been alone since taking Cass' body to the morgue twelve nights ago.
She hasn't slept in her own bed and has been sleeping on the couch. It's finally time for her to start moving forward. She's been letting Liv and Tracy sleep in her bed instead of them going back and forth from Liara's. The couch isn't exactly made for sleeping on for days at a time and Kaja wants her bed back. Even if she's sleeping in it alone. She still wishes Jimmy had come after her instead of going after Cass.
Kaja folds her cards the gets up from the table and walks outside. It's dark and there are too many clouds in the sky for the moon to brighten the night sky. Without realizing she's doing it, Kaja balls her right hand into a fist and smacks her leg with it as she looks at the mountain range. She can't look at view from her backyard without thinking about Cass dying in a cabin overlooking their neighborhood. When she thinks about Cass, she relives her bondmate dying in her arms. She wonders if moving would help, but that seems like running and that is something she won't do. Same with leaving the police department. As much as she hated investigating crimes in the asari military, Kaja enjoys working for the local police department. She feels she makes a difference and she is actually glad she's replacing Tish. The academy is a nice posting, but she'd rather keep the bad guys off the street than teach others to do her job. She's past her doubts about continuing her police work and Kaja feels Cass wouldn't want her to quit because she died and how proud her sons are about her being a police detective.
Kaja can't quit and do something else. She should spend more time behind her desk than being on the streets, but that doesn't mean she's going to take a hands-off approach to helping her squad close cases. Only time will tell how much time she'll have to spend with her family. Kaja's lucky and she knows it. Her mother is two houses away and will help on a moment's notice. Both Gaia and Liv have promised to help anyway they can being they live in the Sol system. The same with Cass' parents. Kaja has already made plans for them to visit Earth next weekend, so the boy can spend more time with their grandparents.
One day at a time, that is all Kaja needs to do now. Take everything one day at a time. The next few days and weeks are going to test the asari in many ways. Will the boy's behavior change once the extended family leaves and everything returns to normal? Can she hold it together if their behavior goes south? Kaja isn't sure if she knows how they will react once everyone leaves. They miss their mother, she knows they do. Either Eric or Derek keep asking why she had to leave them. Kaja keeps giving them the same answer she gave Derek the first time he asked it.
Kaja returns to the table in time for Liara to deal her in. For tonight, Kaja enjoys the comfort from being around her family. She will deal with what comes tomorrow, the next day and every day after that. Kaja has never taken an easy path, this is no exception. A faint grin appears on Kaja's face when she thinks about something her father said to her once. It's an old human saying, "That which does not kill us makes us stronger." Kaja believes that. Cass is gone, but every day since, Kaja feels a smidgen better than she did the day before. She's not going to stop grieving overnight and hopes her family continues their support. She needs it now, but she also knows she might need it again in the near future. Or Derek, Eric, or Karrera might need it too.
That's Kaja main focus. Her children. Karrera is getting ready to leave to attend college, but at times during the past week, Kaja gets a feeling Karrera wants to stay home and help with her brothers. Cass would want Karrera to go to school and not stay home. Kaja isn't sure what she wants Karrera to do. She does want her daughter to finish her last two classes next term, but isn't sure she wants Karrera to move to Thessia to attend college. Not when she can stay home and attend the university here. They'll cross that bridge when the time comes. The only thing Kaja can hope for is she can continue to make the right choices and teach her kids the same values her parents taught her.
Being a single parent is Kaja's duty and the only one that truly matters to the asari.
Fini
A/N:Thanks to everyone who enjoyed this story. I'm taking a two week hiatus from posting. I have a few chapters of a new story written, but have run into a wall called writer's block and I'm not sure when it will get finished. I don't want to be that author who starts a story, but never finishes it. I don't think it's fair to you, the reader.
N7-CMDR has done another piece based of this story. It's called Missing You.
I would also like to thank a million times over my proof-reader. Tkvis. He wasn't afraid to call me out on something he didn't like or wasn't working. This story turned out better because of it.
The next story is about how the family has moved on since Cass' death and set when the boys are 15.
Yes, I do plan on going back to Shepard/Liara stories. I need to write what sticks in my mind at the time. The moving on story was/is on my mind, but having a hard time getting it finished. Please, be patient with me.
You'll get more stories in the future, I promise.