It was starting to rain, the fat droplets of water splashing against the windows as the sounds of taxi horns went off below. Waking up on his side, Kaiba opened his eyes into a dark strange place. He felt strange too, and it took him a while to realize just where he was. Anzu's apartment was new to him, and glancing around the dark space, he waited for his eyes to adjust. A part of him just wanted to go back to sleep, but remembering what happened only hours before, he couldn't. He wanted to talk to her.
Anzu was still fast asleep. Her back was turned towards him and her breathing was slow. Smirking at her, he laid down close and watched. It was a surprise that she hadn't woken up at all, since Mokuba had told him that Kaiba sometimes snored when he went to sleep exhausted. And he certainly felt exhausted. Not just from sex, but from the jet lag and running around the airport looking for a taxi that could get him into downtown New York. His body felt dead from all the effort.
But it was worth it. She was worth seeing again, and he was glad he went back to her, despite the bad feelings in the beginning. Kaiba still couldn't wrap his mind around Yugi being there, but maybe… maybe Yugi wasn't a threat. The longtime rival was back in California, or so the reports said, and he wasn't making any plans to come back to New York anytime soon.
Still, why was he at the performance? Kaiba was under the impression that Anzu wasn't talking to any of her old friends. And frankly, that didn't bother him at all. The fewer losers around to get in his business, the better. He didn't want Jonouchi or Honda or any of those other idiots getting any ideas about what he was doing with Anzu. Hell, he wasn't even sure what he was doing with Anzu. It was still so unclear to him.
He did know, however, that he planned on sticking around to find out. Being alone wasn't appealing to him any longer. There was something better about being with a person, especially one who could be trusted. Anzu wasn't going to leave him anytime soon. At least if she did, it wasn't at any fault of her own. She seemed to appreciate her friends more than she appreciated herself, a fault Kaiba found amiable yet foolish. It wasn't something he could ever do himself. People were too capable of betraying him to let his heart go willingly.
It was a struggle he was still fighting while lying next to a sleeping woman he had felt so close to. At first he felt so weak. For the longest time, Kaiba believed bonds between people made them targets for pain. Unfortunately for the young man, people preyed upon his love for Mokuba and used him for extortion, almost to the point where Kaiba wished he didn't have a brother. Being alone was easier. Safe.
Now he had someone else he couldn't help but want to protect. Someone who didn't want to be protected by him either, which made it worse. Anzu was willful and defiant, traits that made her interesting but extremely hard to live with on a daily basis. Unlike most people in his life, Kaiba couldn't bully her into doing anything she didn't want to do. She was going to have her way, and it had been a long time since he had to bend to the will of others. Especially to a woman.
Anzu was worth it though. Looking at her gave him a sense of security that seemed so unreal to him, he couldn't give her up. Not when things were getting better for him and for once, Kaiba didn't feel so misunderstood and alone. People never tried to get to know him. They just used him for his intelligence, like he was some piece of hardware they could buy at a store. Since childhood this had been the case, and the only person who ever tried to look beyond the surface was sleeping in the bed next to him.
Kaiba didn't want to admit to anything though. He didn't think it would be fair for him to spill his feelings while Anzu kept a cool distance, playing them off like friends. They had to be something more than just that… Anzu said so herself, she never did anything with the guys she hung out with, yet willingly she gave herself to him. Out of all those losers and guys she could have chosen to have, Anzu chose him, Seto Kaiba, someone she once only tolerated out of politeness years before. Now that wasn't the case.
There was a grin growing on his face, and Kaiba didn't even try hiding it. Finally, he got something Yugi couldn't take from him. Anzu had chosen him and there wasn't anything the midget could do about it. He knew how much Yugi liked her. It was obvious, catching those pathetic looks he gave her while they dueled in Battle City. Even before then too, and at first Kaiba found it pitiful.
Now though, he could understand why Yugi felt the way he did. But he wouldn't let him take her away. Not after getting so far.
It was bothering him how much he desired to talk to her. Having woken up several times, he just wanted to have a conversation again before he got too cowardly to speak to her. Sometimes it was easy being honest with her, but other times…Shit wasn't easy. The things he needed to say to her, at the best of times, Kaiba didn't want to repeat more than once. Once was hard enough.
"Anzu…"
Moving close to her side, he tried shaking her shoulders. She looked dead asleep, rolling onto her stomach when he tried moving her again. Squeezing her arm did nothing, and becoming irritated, Kaiba pinched her lower back, moving just out of the way before getting wacked in the face.
"That hurt! What was that for?"
"I want to talk."
Her body slumped against the bed again. She looked annoyed, and turning around, he could see how exhausted she was. Sleep still stuck to her eyes, and wiping them, Anzu frowned a little.
"It's the middle of the night, Kaiba. Can't it wait?"
"I can't sleep. So, no."
"… I'm tired and sore. Do you really want to keep me up right now?"
It sounded like a warning, but what was Anzu going to do to him? Throw a pillow at his face? She wasn't that scary in the least.
"Yes."
"You're ridiculous, fine."
Anzu propped herself back up with an elbow, looking quite out of it. She was still pretty, in a way naturally attractive people always were, but her face had tensed up since being asleep. He instantly felt guilty for forcing her awake before she was ready. Anyone else would have just ignored his pleads for attention.
But Anzu tried waking up. Sighing, she blinked her eyes repeatedly as the man started to speak.
"I just feel like telling you something I haven't told anyone before… It's stupid really, but I think about things like this from time to time.
When I young, my mother used to bake. Even when she was pregnant with Mokuba, that woman was always doing something in the kitchen. I didn't understand it for the longest time, but I think she was trying to make my father happy. He hated eating restaurant food, and although we could afford a cook, she did everything herself nearly every single night, no matter what time he got home…"
"Kaiba, what is this about?"
"Anzu just let me finish the story."
He was beating around the bush. Looking at Anzu's face, he knew she knew, but the girl wasn't going to fight him. If he wanted to take his time, she'd let him as long as it didn't mean staying up the entire night. She wanted rest.
"… When she died, my father stopped having anything to do with home. He stopped coming around each day, and hired a cook to handle all my meals. My brother was only an infant, and I don't think he could stand the sight of him, because he had taken her away.
But I think it was even worse looking at me. My mother and I look exactly alike. And you, for some odd reason I cannot fandom just yet, you look even more like her. It bothers me more than you'll ever know."
"… Why are you telling me this now?"
"It was just on my mind. You were asleep and I couldn't help but watch you, and the thought came over me."
"Is something really bothering you? If it'll help you sleep better, I'll listen. But you need to stop beating around the bush and just tell me what's eating at you, because I can't help you Kaiba if you won't help yourself."
"-Did I hurt you?"
"… Is this what's bothering you? No, you didn't."
Believing the conversation to be over, she rolled back to her spot, shutting her eyes. She just wanted sleep more than anything, but Kaiba shook her shoulders again. Groaning, she sat up once more, sighing some before giving her partner a cross look. Sleep wouldn't be coming anytime soon... Not until Kaiba got off his chest whatever it as he wanted to say.
"I'm not done, Anzu."
"Why can't it wait until morning? I'll be able to understand what you're saying better in the morning…"
"If you needed to talk to me, I would stay up until the sun came over the hills for you. Apparently you can't do the same for me. How disappointing."
"Why are you being so damn irritable?"
There was no point in trying to relax when her bed partner was all upset. Kaiba would never admit to feeling emotional, but Anzu wasn't stupid. He was acting out, for some reason he didn't understand, and he wanted to explain himself to Anzu but he didn't know how. The right words wouldn't come and it just made him even more frustrated.
"I'm not being irritable… And just look at you, you're no ball of sun shine, Anzu. I try talking to you like a human being, and you're biting my head off."
"… Kaiba, I'm listening. What do you need to tell me?"
"When you were in New York, I actually found you."
"What."
Anzu was shocked. Her mouth was slack and her eyes narrowed slightly as she tried to figure out in her head what Kaiba was telling her. He knew it would upset her if Anzu knew, but he couldn't keep secrets from her. Kaiba did support her, when he could, even if it meant from a distance. Anzu may have thought he was cold and thoughtless, but that wasn't always the case.
"You found me?"
"I went to your performances."
"Why didn't you say anything to me?"
"You appeared distracted with new friends, so I decided I could better enjoy you from afar and wait until you came back home, if you were going home. If not, I knew you'd be better off there with those sorts of people. I'm damaged goods, Anzu. I've been doing more harm than good for you."
It was a coup out. Maybe if he said that, she'd leave him alone and not bother to ask anymore. She didn't need to know that he had seen Yugi with her. That would open up a huge can of worms he didn't want lose all over. He could hear in his head already what she'd say about it, and it didn't sound good.
"I don't believe that for a minute. Maybe if you didn't pity yourself so damn much, you'd see that you're not bad. Sure, you've done some shitty things to me and my friends, but overall, you're a good person. I've told you this before."
"How am I a good person? I'm a coward and you know it."
"Do you remember in Battle City when those thugs caught me and strapped me down to that chair? They were going to kill me if you tried stopping that duel against Yugi and Jonouchi, but somehow you managed to stop them. You certainly didn't have to. No one could have forced you into doing anything for me, but for whatever reason, you crashed a damn helicopter into the ocean to make sure I didn't get crushed."
"And I threw my best card at him."
The blue eyes white dragon. She saved his brother and it was only fair for him to extend the same respect onto her. He didn't like her much at that point, but someone was looking out for the kid, and that meant a great deal to him. Although he played off the entire event when it happened years ago, Kaiba never forgot it.
"Was it Obelisk?'
"That was never my best card. Technically speaking, I didn't even own it. Ishizu allowed me to borrow it, and although I did plan on stealing it at some point, I did end up losing it. No, the blue eyes white dragon was always my best card."
"Why are you so attached to it?"
No one had really asked him that before. Did Mokuba even know? Maybe not, because Kaiba always assumed the kid knew about what happened that night when he first got to Gozaburo's mansion, but maybe he didn't. It wouldn't surprise him if he actually never told him. Mokuba didn't know about a lot of things.
"It requires me telling you a story."
"I'll listen. Promise."
"It was the first night after we were adopted; Mokuba and I. Gozaburo had dumped a load of work onto my hands and threatened to lock me in my room until all of it was finished. I wasn't to see anyone or eat anything until all of it was over, and the only thing that was allowed inside my room was reference books. I don't know what that stupid old man was expecting out of me, but let's just say I didn't get any sleep that night or the next two after.
Anyways, when Mokuba found out, he had smuggled in a gift for me. It was something to lift my spirits up, I suppose. Unlike me, he was allowed to do whatever he wanted right away, and he'd drawn a blue eyes white dragon and placed it into one of the books I asked for. I'd always liked that card, but I didn't know he had found out. Since then, I vowed no matter what it took, I'd get those cards and they'd be mine and no one else's."
Looking away, Anzu mused over it. She slumped against the bed and stared out in the dark, trying to make out the furniture in her bedroom. Maybe she felt a little uncomfortable. Kaiba almost never told her personal information about his life. Or anyone, really.
But he wasn't offended. He just lay on his back and stared at the girl next to him. She was pretty, in her typical way without having to really try. Her body was all curves, and it was interesting to watch her silhouette, and how the sheets dipped at her waist and rose back up at the hips. If her arms weren't so tight against her chest, he would have been able to see more of her, but he knew how she felt about her body.
"And I succeeded, with time. I got all the blue eyes cards, and I'll be burned with them on my funeral prier before giving them up to anyone."
"… Don't you think Mokuba would like something of yours to remember you by? I know when I die, I'll leave my post prized possessions to my family, not take them with me to the grave."
"What do you have that's so valuable?"
She blinked at him several times, before smiling and reaching across his body to pull something out of the bedside table drawer. Watching, he saw her hair fall into her face and could feel her chest against his legs, but he said and did nothing. Admiring was better than getting all worked up for nothing. If she was tired and grouchy, there was no point.
"This."
She sat back down, her back against the head board of the bed, exposing her chest. Kaiba, eyes straining in the dark, reached over and turned on the lamp, getting a glimpse of the girl's pink nipples before seeing what was in her hands. A velvet jewelry box. He'd never seen her wear anything before…
"What's inside it?"
"Open it silly, and find out."
He hated being called that, but instead of being hostile over the nickname, Kaiba just grabbed the box and glared at her. She didn't seem deterred, folding her arms and looking down at him with a smug grin. In her mind, he was sure that the girl was teasing him.
Lifting up the box's lid, he saw a silver necklace with two ballet shoes on the pendant. The laces were made out of gold, and it actually looked expensive. It wasn't the cheap crap girls got from their boyfriends… Someone who really cared must have given it to her.
"Ballet slippers?"
"It's my aunt's. She was a ballet dancer, a long time ago. After her first performance, my grandfather bought this for her at Tiffany's. Before she died, she was on stage in New York, like where I'd like to be, and she was the senior ballerina of her company for one year before getting killed. When she died, my grandfather gave it to me, because he knew I would have wanted it."
"How did she die?"
"A horse riding accident. Broke her neck and that was that. But if it wasn't for her, I never would have had a passion for anything. She took me to my first show, when I was ten. Flew me all the way to New York and I got to stand backstage with the dancers as they prepared. Never saw so many beautiful people in my entire life… They sparkled, from the glitter on their faces. It was like being surrounded by angels."
"So if you died, who would you give this to?"
"My younger sister. She's not a dancer, but she'd want something of mine to keep."
Taking the box back from Kaiba, she placed the item away. Anzu was tired, so tired, but Kaiba wasn't ready for sleep yet. His eyes were still wide awake, and his voice wasn't slowing down any. For some reason, he felt so awake.
"… Kaiba, why did you go all the way to New York and not say a word to me? Do you know how just… stupid that sounds? Sometimes I really think you're socially retarded, because it's like you don't even realize how wrong you are-"
"-I saw you leave the theater with a man. Didn't feel like intruding."
"What man? And why didn't you call me?"
"Yugi. You met up with Yugi. I saw him there with the roses, and had enough of it. There was no way on earth I was going to come over to you with him there, looking at you the way he does. No thank you, I could wait until you made the trip back home. Happy?"
"No, not really. I didn't think you still found him a threat."
"I don't find Yugi Mutou a threat-"
"-then you should have come over to see me."
She was right, he should have. Who knows where they would have been, if he had. There was three nights of Swan Lake, and although he was in the crowd every single time, he didn't wait for her. He saw that other male and took off to his hotel, instead of being the man he once was and making his presence felt. Wouldn't it be something, letting know how far he'd gotten now that the old world champion had left Domino?
"You're right. I should have."
Grumbling, he narrowed his eyes at his companion and turned his back towards her. He hated that Anzu made sense and that he'd walked off for something so stupid. Crossing his arms, he closed his eyes and imagined himself somewhere else. In his own bed, perhaps, alone.
"I guess we're no longer talking then, huh? Goodnight, Kaiba."
Yawning, Anzu went down next to him, closing her eyes once more. Turning his head, he immediately felt stupid for acting out. He wanted her to understand how he felt, but she never would get something like that. Anzu didn't have anything to defend, while Kaiba had everything in the world to lose. Simple things stirred him up, but now he realized that he needed more control over it. Maybe it was best to just pretend she hadn't hurt him.
Besides, he didn't want her to think he was immature. It was probably too late, but maybe he could appease her into changing her mind. Moving over to Anzu's side of the bed, Kaiba lay right up against her back and put his head right next to her loose hair. She stiffened a little, like when he had first began fingering her, but as soon as his hand went around her waist, Anzu relaxed. Then, to his surprise, she intertwined her fingers into his own.
"I'm not exactly done, Anzu."
There was a sigh and Kaiba watched as Anzu turned her head a little to look at him. He thought between the two of them she'd be far emotional afterwards, but apparently the female next to him was just too tired for that sort of reacting. Her eyes were half lid and shined in the dark. It made him feel very guilty, keeping her up for so long, but the urge to talk just wouldn't leave him. All his emotions were lashing about inside of him, and Kaiba had no idea how to express any of them.
"What are we exactly? Because this isn't what friends do with one another. Friends don't lie next to each other naked in bed, and they certainly don't have sex with one another, this is just so damn confusing."
"I honestly don't know, I've been trying to figure this out myself…"
Sighing, Kaiba moved his head closer to the back of Anzu's head, smelling her hair. It had his smell all over it now, a strange mix of odors that he couldn't stop himself from inhaling. Lying there, he closed his eyes and tried to make sense of his situation.
"Anzu, what exactly do you want from me?"
"What do I want from you? Well…" She paused for a minute, squeezing his hand under the sheets before thinking of an answer. "I guess I want to try and see what this is between us. Is that too much to ask for?"
"No, it isn't. As long as I don't have to buy you flowers and crap, I'm fine with it."
"I'd never ask anything like that of you. However, since you are sleeping with me naked and you do buy me dinner on occasions, I'm gonna have to give you the label of boyfriend until I can come up with something better."
"-boyfriend?"
He opened his eyes and looked at Anzu like she was half mad, but the girl just shook her head to his question. It didn't seem to bother her too much, the idea of dating him, than he thought it would. For some reason, Kaiba was still under the impression that she merely tolerated his company because he wouldn't leave her alone. It wasn't until that kiss at the airport that he finally realized that maybe she liked him more than she was letting on.
Kaiba was very clueless, for a smart man.
"It won't be as bad as it sounds. I won't even tell anyone. But you asked me what this is, and I guess most people would call what we're doing dating…"
"I hate that term."
"Yeah well, you forced me to go out with you first, asshole. Deal with it."
Snorting indignity, Kaiba closed his eyes and finally decided to just shut off his brain. Sleep deprivation was catching up to him, and Anzu was right… They were dating. He couldn't logically argue against it, and wasn't that kind of what he wanted anyway? If they weren't dating, any guy would snag her from right under him, and the thought of that happening irked him. When Kaiba got something, he kept it and no one would make him out to be a fool unless he decided that it wasn't worth having any longer.
Although with Anzu, he knew in the back of his head that wouldn't be the case. If anything, she'd grow tired of him and would move on. Maybe not anytime soon, but one day…
"Fine. We're dating, you win. Happy now?"
"Extremely. And tired too. I can't stay up any longer, or I'll fall asleep on you. Goodnight, Kaiba."
"Goodnight."
He continued to watch her until Anzu's breathing slowed to a steady rate. She was asleep in a matter of minutes, fingers still gripping his own. It amazed him how comfortable she was doing that, not caring if Kaiba could see her or not. What still got him too was her desire for him to stay with her. The fact that he was needed…
Eventually, the exhausted man couldn't keep his eyes open any longer, and after one more glance at his sleeping partner, Kaiba closed his eyes and slept through the rest of the night.