Chapter 11: Decisions

Rose bounded down the steps, chattering to the happy baby perched on her hip. "Let Mummy get a cuppa and then we'll see to your tummy, okay precious boy?" After breakfast we'll find your Daddy and see what kind of adventure we can find. Would ya like that?"

Jake gurgled, his big brown eyes glued to her face. Rose groaned and nuzzled his neck. "Why do I get the feeling you're going to be as much of a trouble magnet as your father?"

"Oi!" Rose jumped as the Doctor sidled up behind her, his arms going around her waist. "Telling tales about me, Rose?" He reached around her and ruffled Jake's hair. "All's fair, son, so remind me to tell you all about your jeopardy friendly mum!"

Rose laughed and turned in his arms. "Hello you, stirring up unrest and ferreting out evil doers while I sleep?"

He grinned and then pressed a hard kiss to her lips. "'Course not! That's your job! The Tardis has healed all that she can so I brought her over and have been working on her while you lazed about." He pulled her closer and lowered his head, lips brushing across hers as he murmured, "Good morning, love."

Rose gasped as the doctor deepened the kiss, his tongue sweeping into her mouth in a slow rhythm that quickly had her knees weak. She moaned and thrust her free hand into his silky hair. Heart pounding, Rose lost herself to sensation.

"Oi! Give me my grandson before you drop him."

Rose turned her head and groaned. Hearing the Doctor's sigh of frustration set her to giggling. He rested his forehead against hers and smirked.

"See why I don't do domestic?"

Rose laughed and pecked him on the lips before hollering to her mother's retreating back. "Good morning to you too, Mum!"

She turned back to the Doctor and tugged on his tie. "Didn't you say the Tardis is just outside?" At his nod, she grinned. "Weeeell, we could continue our morning greetings there. Assembled hordes and all …"

He laughed and dropped a kiss onto her forehead. "Ahhh, much as I was enjoying our greetings, Jack is helping with the repairs so … I must regretfully decline your enticing offer, for now anyway." He kissed Jake's cheek and backed away toward the door. "We should be done in a few hours, with what we can fix without parts anyway, so how about I meet you on the beach?"

Rose smiled but then bit her lip. "Was thinking how nice it'd be to lounge in the sun but I'll have to go into town first." At the Doctor's raised eyebrow she continued. "Don't have a bathing suit."

"Ah, no worries, Tardis wardrobe is back on line." He waggled his eyebrows and smirked. "I'll pick something out for you."

"Oi! Nothing too revealing. Just had a baby, remember?"

The Doctor's eyes darkened to near black as they skimmed her body before coming to rest on her breasts. "Oh, I can see that you have, Rose Tyler." His grin was almost predatory.

Rose shivered and took a steadying breath. God what that ma—alien could do to her! Conscious of her mum in the next room and her son's need for food, she swallowed and averted her eyes from his heated gaze. "Yes, well … um, I'm just gonna go feed Jake then. I'll stop by the wardrobe after, yeah?"

Brown eyes twinkling, he grinned and pulled her close. "Weell, since you're afraid of … my fashion sense," he smirked. "I'll just get back to work." Not waiting for her reply, he dropped a quick kiss on her lips and headed back to the Tardis.

Rose watched him saunter across the lawn and then headed into the breakfast room. God! He was such a tease!

Plotting revenge and wondering if the red bikini she'd worn when he'd taken her to some planet with golden beaches and purple water would still fit her, Rose grinned and poured herself some tea before flouncing over to the breakfast nook and settling Jake at her breast.

"Well, someone's chipper this mornin'." Jackie smirked and fed Tony another spoonful of cereal. "Bet I know why too."

Rose blushed at her mother's pointed stare but held her tongue.

Jackie scowled and pointed her finger at Rose. "Don't think I don't know where that alien spent the night, Rose Tyler!" She held up her hand as Rose began to speak. "I don't wanna hear it, but I expect a ring on your finger before I get another grandchild!"

Rose gaped. "Umm, that's not … I mean, we aren't like –"

"Rose Marion Tyler! Don't you dare say the two o' you aren't like that! I'm lookin' at the evidence that says ya are!"

Rose gulped and took a drink of tea. "Mum! I wasn't goin' to say that, though we aren't … anyway, what I was gonna say is the Doctor isn't going to marry me."

Jackie sputtered. "And why the bloody hell not? His Lordship too good for a London shop girl?"

Rose ducked her head and cursed. Why had she thought comin' to breakfast was a good idea? She'd been so happy not five minutes ago. Leave it to her Mum to burst her bubble.

"Fine, don't answer me! I'll get an answer or a ring out of that no good –"

"Mum, NO!" Rose fought her rising panic as she felt Jake's distress filter through their link. "Just stay out of it. It's none of your business!"

Jackie huffed and wiped cereal from Tony's face. "It bloody well is my business and your Dad's too!" She stalked into the kitchen with the empty bowl, continuing her tirade. "Who do ya think is gonna have to pick up the pieces of your heart?" Jackie stomped back into the room and loomed over her daughter, hands on hips. "Not to mention support you and your kids when he decides to leave you?"

Rose stiffened and refused to meet her mother's gaze. Tears welled and overflowed her eyes. Damn her mother, she'd managed to hit every one of Rose's deepest insecurities.

Love her the Doctor might, but she was not in the least convinced he wouldn't leave her if he thought it best, not that a wedding ring would make her any more secure on that score. Her mum was wrong on one account any way, and the thought managed to tumble from her mouth before her brain could stop it.

"He won't leave his child behind, Mum." She swiped the tears off her face and snuck a peak at her mother's face. "And I don't … I mean, he says he won't leave me either. He told me … he told me he loved me so …" She drew a deep breath and looked her mother in the eyes. "So I'm just gonna have to trust him."

Jackie's eyes narrowed. "That's it? He says I love you and I'll never leave you and you're just gonna spread yer legs –"

"MUM! For God's sake, stop!" Rose swallowed a sob and straightened her spine. "Why do ya have to ruin everything?" She rolled her eyes and huffed as more tears spilled down her cheeks. She swatted the moisture away and forced words through her tight throat. "If … if the day ever comes that the Doctor doesn't want me to travel with him then I'll … I'll get a job and earn a livin' like everybody else."

She gulped and glared at her mother. "Don't worry I've no intentions of spongin' off of you and Pete!"

Jackie's shoulders slumped. She sighed. "Sweetheart, yer Dad and me'll always take care of you! I'd never begrudge you money or a home …" She took Rose's hand. "But sweetheart, you're the mother of his child, he should make an honest woman out o' ya and provide for ya –"

"Mum! He does provide for me, or he will when we get the Tardis healed and as for all that 'honest woman' rot, I don't care about any of that."

Jackie scowled. "Well I do! But that isn't … Rose it's about respect. Marriage isn't just about showin' the world ya love someone, it's about showin' the world your spouse is worthy and showin' that you're proud and it's about publicly committin' ..."

Rose closed her eyes and wished she could also close her ears. Every word her mother uttered was like a nail piercing her heart. She'd never allowed herself to dream that the Doctor would ask her to marry him, for precisely the reasons her mother had just stated.

He was a Lord of Time, thought of as a god on planets throughout the universe. She was a shop girl with no education and no breeding, however much he might care for her … she was honored to have what he gave her, she'd ask for and expect nothing more.

Rose stifled a sob. Being realistic sucked.

"Rose?" Jackie knelt and grasped Rose's chin. "Look at me."

Rose sighed and complied, knowing her mother wouldn't let it go. "Haven't you said enough?"

Jackie sighed. "Rose, I haven't said all of this to hurt you. I love you and want what's best for ya that's all. And what's best is for that alien git to marry you."

Rose released a shaky breath and pushed away from her mum. "I … I know you only want what's best for me, you always have, but …" She tightened her grip on Jake and stood up. "The Doctor is what is best for me, Mum. He loves me," she held up her hand as Jackie began to speak.

"He does Mum, but you have to understand. He isn't … he's alien Mum and you can't expect him to do human things." Rose closed her eyes and willed her voice not to shake.

"You said it earlier and it's true." She rolled her eyes at her mother's confused look. "He's a Time Lord, the last of the most advanced species in the universe! That he even lowered himself enough to … to let me have Jake is a gift I can't begin to deserve."

Rose tightened her grip on her son and swallowed, trying to calm herself but her mother had poked too far and all of the demons Rose struggled to hide were clamoring for release.

"You can't understand. You don't know him like I do! He's, he's – bloody hell Mum! There are whole galaxies out there that worship him as a GOD!"

A bitter laugh escaped her trembling lips. "And yo … you think the Doctor should – how did you put it? Oh yeah, publicly commit to me and show the world that I'm worthy …" She paced, dragging a hand through her hair. "Don't you get it? I'm NOT!"

Her voice failed as sobs wracked her body. Shaking, she pushed Jake into Jackie's arms and rushed out the back door, ignoring Jackie's pleas.

The Doctor stepped into the shadows as Rose rushed by the doorway he'd been hovering in. His hands tightened around the strip of red fabric he clutched as his mind reeled at what he'd heard.

Rose didn't think she was – his hearts urged him to go after her, convince her of how wrong she truly was …

Rasillon! What a mess. He paced, his brain flying over all the things he could say, couldn't say, wouldn't say; every possibility led to a discussion he found himself incapable of having.

"Doctor?"

His head jerked, his eyes locking with a furious Jackie Tyler. Anger roiled within him and he wanted nothing more than to rage at her for bringing up the subject he felt least capable of dealing with but … did he want to acknowledge that he had heard their argument? His quick mind played out the possibilities and the Doctor made a decision.

Tamping down on his anger, he allowed his worry for Rose to surface. "Jackie! What is wrong with Rose? I came in to give her this," he waived the red bikini. "But she just flew by me, sobbing."

Anger hardened his face as he held Jackie's gaze. "What happened?"

To his secret pleasure, Jackie flinched before her jaw tightened. "We were talkin' and she didn't like what I had to say –"

"And what exactly did you say –"

"Yer gonna have to ask her that." He opened his mouth to demand she answer him but Jackie stalked away, waving him toward the door Rose had fled through. "Go after her, Doctor. If she tells ya then fine but I'm not gettin' into the two of ya's business."

The Doctor snorted but refrained from pointing out that Jackie Tyler sticking her nose into his and Rose's business was the reason he was now facing a situation he had tried to avoid.

Spinning on his heels he stalked out the back door, yelling back to Jackie to keep an eye on his son.

He trudged toward the small figure huddled at the water's edge wondering what to say. He'd heard every word of Rose's argument with Jackie and his hearts begged him to comfort Rose, to tell her that everything she thought was wrong and that he wanted nothing more than to love her for eternity but …

He raked his hand through his hair and sighed. In his nine hundred plus years he'd discovered that there was always a "but". Stupid conjunction, who decided the English language, needed such a word anyway? Why the need to tie two complete sentences together when one sentence, I want to love you for eternity full stop would be brilliant?

He snorted. The dratted conjunction was there because he was a Time Lord, a ridiculously complicated, long lived alien with blood on his hands and darkness in his soul. An alien whose presence more often than not was the harbinger of death and he'd went and fell in love with a human.

He sank down onto the sand beside Rose and pulled her into his arms.

"Rose?"

She pulled away and scrubbed at her face. "I'm fine, Doctor, just fightin' with Mum." She glanced at him and flashed a tight smile. "Nothin' to worry about. She … it's normal."

He brushed a strand of hair away from her face and tucked it behind her ear, wondering what his next move should be. She'd given him an out. He could make a flippant comment, make her laugh, and the whole thing would be forgotten; or, in Rose's case, buried away deep in her heart.

Or he could be honest …

He sighed and looked out to sea. Rose was such a beautiful human; Full of compassion, love, and wisdom beyond her years. She'd saved him. Through her eyes he'd seen the wonders of the universe and rediscovered his purpose after the horrors of the Time War. She'd made him want to live.

She'd brought – no, she was the light that shined into his blackened soul and she deserved so much more than to have her fate tied to his. It was selfish of him to love her, to keep her by his side …

He had no doubt that Rose would stay with him until she died and she'd face mortal peril every day.

He shuddered as the memory of her flight from the Black Guardian rose within his mind. Danger was a constant in his life but this ... Rose couldn't know how bad with a capital 'B' things were about to get if the Guardians were involved. His hands clenched into fists at the thought of the amoral eternals using Rose to get to him.

Even if he did tell her what he suspected she would argue that that was her choice to make, and though he didn't like it, a part of him could admit that it was, but what about their son?

Jake deserved more. True, he was a Time Lord, but the life he had chosen to live wasn't normal, even for Time Lords. He glanced at Rose. She thought the life he lived was what all Time Lords had done; she didn't know just how much of a renegade his people had thought him.

If Gallifrey existed he'd have taken Rose and Jake there and settled into a life befitting a proper Time Lord, or tried to at least. But that wasn't an option now …

He sighed and made up his mind.

He forced a grin he didn't feel and nudged Rose with his shoulder. "And when has Jackie Tyler ever been normal?"

Rose took the bait he'd dangled and snorted. "Well, it's normal for her." She stood and held out her hand. "Come on, I believe someone promised me a day of lounging on the beach."

He allowed himself to be pulled to his feet. Heart heavy and feeling every one of his over nine hundred years he summoned the will power to assume the mask he'd worn for so long it was second nature. He winked at Rose. "Oh yes! Sun, sand, surf and …Rose Tyler in a skimpy red bikini." He tugged on her hand and set off toward the house. "A man can't ask for more than that!"