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Turn On The Lights

Chapter Eleven: I Still Remember How It All Changed

It was deathly silent as they rode back to the boarding house. She could tell he was jittery about something, he was happy about something, but he was squashing it down under his little angrily indignant facade. She sighed loudly, finally finding it within herself to speak up.

"Listen, I'm not mad at you, okay? So you can stop with the act. You shouldn't have barged in like that but I get that you were worried. I know that you're always fucking worried so I get that. I just wanted to say..sorry for yelling at you."

He glanced over at her and relaxed his death grip on the steering wheel.

"I don't think I've ever heard you say sorry to me before." He said chuckling.

"Well, if I wasn't in the mood to get the silent treatment for the rest of whenever at your house, then I wouldn't. But I am, so be happy about it." She said teasingly.

"And I appreciate that." He said sarcastically and laughed. She waited for a minute. He looked at her questioningly.

"Aren't you gonna apologize?" She asked.

"Who, me?" He pointed to himself.

"Uh, yeah?"

"Nah. I wasn't wrong. He could have been a rapist for all I knew. I acted accordingly, so I will not apologize." He said matter-of-factly.

"And they say I'm the jerk!" She joked punching his arm. He made a mock pained face and rubbed his arm.

"That's because you are."

She stuck out her tongue in response. They fell silent again. She watched him as he closed his eyes and hummed along with the song on the radio. He tapped his other foot happily to the beat.

"So, what are you so damn happy about skipper?"

He glanced guiltily at her and stared ahead.

"Well, Lila told me tonight she wants to go ahead with dating."

Her heart fell faster than a boulder on Jupiter.

"What? When?" She asked shocked.

"When I went to find her that second time. She just came out with it. I couldn't believe it really."

"Oh." She said simply. Her heart was constricting, burrowing deep into her ribcage where nothing could ever reach it. Nothing but words.

"What?" He sounded worried. She perked herself up immediately to cover up her reaction.

"Nothing. I'm happy for you football head. It's about time." She bit her lip to stop the trembling there. She had to hold it in until they got to the house. She could go to the bathroom and have herself a little quiet cry. Rhonda had been wrong. Rhonda was never wrong, which is why it was coming as such a shock to her. Lila wasn't supposed to be interested. She was supposed to be in love with a secret boy that no one knew about.

"Thanks, that means a lot coming from you." He said sounding happy.

"Anytime." She whispered. They fell back into silence again.

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When she awoke the next morning, Arnold was already gone. She sat up slowly and took that in. She figured he was downstairs with his family opening presents and eating delicious treats for breakfast. She felt lonely. She pulled a brush off the shelf and tugged it through her hair. Right at this moment, Miriam was attempting to cook a nice ham for Christmas in the oven. In about ten minutes, the kitchen would be flooded with black smoke when she realized she actually set the oven to 500 degrees and not 300 degrees. As Bob puts out the fire, Miriam will pass out on the couch from her exhausting effort while the other Mirium will pull out her pre-prepared honey ham meal to pop in the oven. They will eat like kings and fall asleep in front of the TV tonight as they watch the parade. And Helga would sit alone in Arnold's bed as he shares the day with his loved ones.

She sniffled as she felt the familiar tears come to her eyes. Just as she was about to flop down into the pillows and have herself a good cry, she caught sight of a golden wrapped present on the side table. She paused and looked around. He wasn't there. She leaned forward to have a peek. It had a gorgeous white lace ribbon tied around it and a tag that said it was for her from Arnold. She looked around again suspiciously and considered opening it. She had no idea if he wanted her to wait until he returned but why leave it then? She pulled up an end, attempting to peek inside. It was heavy and flat. She could see pages. She hoped it was a book as she pulled off the wrapping paper carefully. She didn't want to rip it, she planned on flattening it out and keeping it forever as a memento. She held it up, looking it over curiously.

It was a notebook with a rough faded cover. There was space for her to write a title. She flipped it open and gasped. When opened, the right page had lines for writing while the left page was empty for an illustration. She could write poetry and potentially draw a picture representing it. She felt the tears come to her eyes again. She was touched by the present, it was clearly from the heart and made specifically for her. She sat up in horror though. She hadn't gotten him anything though! She had no idea he was getting her anything. She thought of the spare twenties she had laying around but there was no time. She would have to make something. She looked around the room quickly and settled on the desk. She could do this, she was the master of poetry and art. She could make something in a heartbeat, right? So what then?

"Kokoshka! I am so friggin' serious right now brother, get your hands away from my pancakes before I murder you!"

"But you're such a tiny man, how can you possibly need all that food? Let me help you."

"No!"

"Alright now, pipe down now, the lot of you! It was a lot of work to get this going, so don't mess it up!"

"Don't be so dramatic old man."

"Dramatic? You know I had to spend the whole month convincing Pookie it was July so we could actually have this Christmas? Get on board!"

"I am very disappointed, no one gave me money for Christmas like I asked."

"Good! You'd just waste it all anyways!"

"My turn!" Arnold shouted and tore into his last present. It was huge, a large box, from his grandma and grandpa.

"What! An Xbox? Awesome!"

"Take care of that. I didn't get the protection plan!"

Arnold elbowed his leg.

"Alright, I'm just joking."

"I'll have to buy that tomorrow." He stage whispered to Mr. Hyunh. Arnold elbowed his leg again and he yelped dramatically.

"Is everyone done then? No more presents?"

"More pancakes!" Grandma cried as she walked into the parlor wearing a flowing white dress and a wreath of holy on her head.

"You look like a Christmas tree topper, Pookie." Grandpa said. She giggled like a school girl.

"Oh stop it, Phil." She slapped his outstretched hands away.

Arnold rolled his eyes.

"Alright, I'm gonna go upstairs now before the love fest begins."

"Hurry back boy, I'd hate for you to miss it."

He rolled his eyes again as he took the stairs two at a time. He hoped Helga had woken up already and seen her present. She had seemed upset the night before so he hoped it would lift her mood. He knew that she would probably be sad on Christmas day when she was there and not at home with her family. Even though he knew she wasn't their biggest fan, he knew how important it was to be around people who loved you. Today was going to be hard on her. He was hoping he could make it easier for her. He knocked lightly on the door.

"Come in." Came her voice. He opened the door and peered in to see her on the bed. She was sitting cross legged with something behind her back.

"What'cha got there?" He asked grinning. She looked down nervously.

"I found your present. I didn't realize we were exchanging them so don't judge me, okay?" She said softly. He sat on the bed with her and held out his hand.

"So long as it's from you and with good intention, I will not judge. Not too harshly." He joked. She knocked her shoulder against his.

"Alright then funny guy. Here you go." She handed him a large manilla envelope. He raised an eyebrow at her but opened the top. He pulled out a large thick piece of paper. There was obviously a poem on the one side that she had written in beautiful cursive. It was framed by a soft drawing of holly and candy canes intertwined. He flipped the paper over.

"Wow." He said softly. It was a drawing of Lila. He could see the faint pencil outlines underneath but it was finished in light charcoal and colored pencil. It was her from the night before, in her Christmas dress. It was beautiful really, very life like.

"Wow Helga. This is amazing. I love it." He looked up at her and saw it briefly. This terrible sadness weighing on her face, a wetness in her eyes. She blinked and hitched on a smile within a second.

"I figured you deserved some celebrating."

"How long did this take you?"

She chuckled darkly. "Not very long."

"Well it's amazing. Thank you very much."

"And thank you. This present is so awesome, how did you ever find something like this?"

"I didn't. I looked high and low. They had nothing like it anywhere. I actually had to pay someone to make it for me."

"Who? I'm sure I'm gonna need like a million more of these."

"This little guy at the book store. He loves books, he makes his own. I'm pretty sure he left his card in the bag if you want it."

"I would, thank you."

He paused for a moment, taking in the picture of her laying back in the bed with the book open against her raised legs. She was biting the end of a pencil, obviously considering what to write first.

"I do have another gift for you, if you want it." He said nervously. Her head snapped up to him curiously.

"I don't know how far you've thought about what's going on here. Obviously you can't stay in my room forever."

She was silent so he continued.

"If you'd like, we're actually looking for a cashier down at Slausen's. I could put in a good word for you, train you myself. That way you could get some money coming your way."

She was quiet for a moment, obviously considering.

"I would be working with you then?"

"Maybe. I'm a shift supervisor so it's possible."

"I've never had a job before." She said in a small voice.

"That's no problem. It's easy work and I know you. I know you'd do well."

"I-I don't know what to say."

"How about thank you?" He laughed. She shot him a look but cracked a tiny smile.

"Well, I guess thank you. I would like to get some money of my own. I feel bad eating everyone's food all the time."

"Then it's settled? I'll talk to my manager and we'll get it figured out." He stood up and pulled out his phone, ready to start dialing. Her arm shot out though and stopped him.

"Arnold."

"What?"

She was silent as she looked up at him with her big eyes.

"Truly, thank you. I don't know where I would be without your help." She said in a small voice.

"Helga, I would do anything to help you. Okay?"

She stared up at him. She grabbed his face on either side and pulled him down. She kissed his cheek softly, pressed her face against his, and released him. He stumbled backwards, dumbfounded, as a dizzying feeling swept over him. He clutched his cheek as he stared at her. Did she just kiss him? She lay back in the bed, opening her book again and began scribbling furiously. He looked around nervously, waiting for something to happen, for her to start screaming at him to never tell anyone or so help him she would rip out his larenx and cram it down his throat. But nothing. She ignored him standing frozen like a statue in the middle of the floor.

"Um, I'll be right back." He said pointing to the door.

"Take your time." She said without looking up. He fled out of the room into the hallway.

"Arnoooold!" His grandmother sang. "Cooookies!"

"In a minute grandma!" He yelled back and raced into the bathroom. He locked the door and fell back against it. He slid down onto the floor and stared ahead. He wasn't sure what to think. What was weird is he had been kissed by Helga several times, on the mouth no less. But none caused him more distress than that kiss, the one that seared and burned on his cheek still. Not a forced kiss or a coerced kiss or a "the end of the world, why the hell not" kiss. She had stared up at him with her wide eyes, blue with sadness and pressed her soft pink lips against his flesh in appreciation and thankfulness. He was not used to this kind of behavior from her. It startled him and quite frankly, caused a tingling in his body he wished he could ignore.

Obviously it wasn't the first time she had kissed him. But this was different. Why was this one different? Why? Because it wasn't normal? It wasn't dramatic, it wasn't grandiose, it wasn't for the whole world to see, a statement she was making? If he didn't breathe a word of this to anyone, he knew it would never leave his room, much like everything else that had happened between them lately. It was so simple. So real, so…genuine. It had been intimate in a way he was not familiar with when it came to her and that terrified him. It spoke volumes that he wasn't sure he could actually decipher. And yet, he wanted to illicit that response from her more. He wanted this softer, gentler Helga. But what was he thinking? What would that mean?

"What am I doing?" He wondered aloud. "Helga Geraldine Pataki should never ever affect me this way. Got it?"

No one answered. He sighed and buried his face in his hands. He didn't know what was happening. How a week or so could change his perception.

Christmas miracles.

He knew couldn't hide in the bathroom forever. Surely she would begin to notice his absence. He stood and walked slowly into the hallway. He laughed forcefully when he realized he was dragging his feet. Who would have known what a coward he could be?

"Kimba!" His grandma shouted behind him. He turned to see her coming up the stairs holding a large silver platter of sugar cookies and her other hand gripping several leashes. All their pets struggled before her dressed as reindeer. They didn't look too happy about it.

"I brought you cookies before scrooge down there ate them all." She smiled.

Arnold chuckled. "And who would that be exactly?"

She paused, tilting her head to the side.

"All of them, I suppose." She said seriously. He laughed, taking the plate from her.

"Well thank you grandma. Merry Christmas." He kissed her on the cheek. She practically glowed as she smiled.

"Merry Christmas to you Kimba." She turned and mushed the animals down the stairs. "And to all a good night!"

He shook his head at her odd behavior and made his way to his room. He knocked lightly and waited for her response.

"Come in." She called. He swung open the door, brandishing forth his bounty.

"I come bearing Christmas cookies." He said grinning. She looked up from her book seriously but smiled at the sight of the plate.

"Well bring it over, I haven't had anything to eat yet!" She said putting it up on a shelf.

"I know, I've been a terrible host. Can you ever forgive me?" He pouted, holding up the plate as he bowed his head.

"Perhaps Jeeves, should you fetch me some milk to go with it." She snatched one off and crammed the whole thing in her mouth. She sighed happily.

"Knock knock!" His grandpa kicked open the door behind him. He spun around, spilling cookies on the floor as he stopped to stare at him in surprise. He came in grinning, dressed to the nines for playing around in the snow, a bright red scarf around his neck. His face fell slightly at the sight of Helga sitting on the bed.

"I brought some cookies." He said slowly, raising up his own silver platter of sugar cookies. "For some reason, your grandma thought you needed some."

"I guess she forgot she already gave me some." Arnold said quietly.

"I suppose so." He said peering around at her.

"You know Helga, grandpa. She came over to get her Christmas present. I forgot to tell you I guess."

"You guess."

"Sorry." He said awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck.

"Alright, what's going on around here Shortman? It seems like you're keeping things from me lately and that's not very much like you. So out with it!" He slammed the plate down and stared Arnold down. His eyes flickered to Helga's in panic and she shrugged meekly. The jig was up. It was now or never.

"She's my girlfriend, grandpa." He said staring at his feet. Helga gasped and covered her mouth quickly to cover it. Phil looked between the two suspiciously with his eyes narrowed, but finally broke into a smile.

"Well if it weren't about darn time! Glad to heard it Shortman! Your friend's always welcome here. Mi casa es su casa!" Phil slapped Arnold on the shoulder and winked at him.

"Now, I noticed she was spending the night too so make sure to uh…protect yourself." He said in a stage-whisper in Arnold's ear. He could feel his whole face turn red.

"Grandpa!" He spluttered. Helga blushed, staring into her lap and attempting badly to conceal her laughter.

"What? I'm just saying." Phil laughed as he held up his arms innocently.

"I'll see you lovebirds later." He cackled and disappeared out the door. He stood there staring at the door with his back to her. It felt like his collar was going to explode into flames.

"You're a bold kid, Arnold." Helga said laughing.

He looked over at her annoyed and plopped down abruptly on the bed.

"It was the first excuse that came to mind besides the real story." He grumbled.

"Good God Arnold, you could have at least bought me dinner before getting me into your bed." She cackled, falling backwards laughing.

"Helga, shutup." He snapped. She shot back up, surprised by his tone. He jumped off the bed and sat over at his desk.

"Jeez, I'm sorry football head. I was just teasing you." She sounded hurt.

"Yeah well, maybe you should take a break for a while. I don't think you realize how hard it is to keep you here and keep your secret."

"Well I'm sorry if I'm inconveniencing you." She jut out her bottom lip, clearly getting defensive. After all, he had invited her to stay, she didn't invite herself. He pressed his fingers against his shut eyes.

"I'll just leave then if it's such a hassle." She said. He could hear the bedsprings as she got up. He spun around and caught sight of her grabbing what little she had and cramming it into her pink suitcase.

"Helga, wait." He sighed, going to her and grabbing her arm.

"Let go of me." She snarled, jerking away.

"Look, I'm sorry, okay? I've just got a lot on my plate and I was taking it out on you. I'm sorry, that wasn't right of me. Don't leave, okay?" He pleaded. She glared at him, her eyes shimmering with anger. Her expression softened at the guilt written all over his face. She looked away.

"Alright, alright." She said putting her clothes down again.

"But I'm not staying to ease your conscious." She said pointing into his face. "It's because I have literally nowhere else to go."

"Alright." He said laughing at her dry humor. He knelt down on the floor, picking up some of the cookies he had dropped in his futile panic.

"So what now?" She dropped herself back onto the bed and grinned down at him.

"Well, now that I've successfully lied to my grandpa, which by the way, I love."

She stuck her tongue out at him.

"I'll call Slausen's later and get you hooked up. Are you still good with that?"

She smiled, immediately brightening up. "Sounds good to me."

He smiled too.