New Beginning-Love and Learning to Let Go

by JennTH

The children of Ashley, Ben, Ellen, and Michael are all grown up now. They are now making their way through Hogwarts. The adults watch as their children grow up and learn from their own mistakes. Sometimes it isn't easy being a parent. All OCs, so you likely won't like.

11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: Graphic talks in chapter.

"No more serious talk," Andrew said to me as he placed a shot of fire-whiskey in front of me.

"Gladly," I said in response.

I no longer wanted to talk about what had happened on the platform. It was the first night back at school, and we didn't have classes the next day. It was supposed to

a night of catching up with everyone.

At the Welcoming Feast, several of my fellow sixth years wanted to know what had happened. My meeting with mum had gone unnoticed after all. So while we ate; I caught everyone up. I had a feeling that my friends from the other houses would want to know as well.

At times I wished I could be unknown. I was lucky to have so many friends and a family that loved me, but at times like this, I wanted my privacy. Why couldn't I be like some of the other kids in our year that no one focused on?

I could see Becky, Colleen, and Mallory staring over at me. I knew they'd been listening in on the conversation at dinner. All the sixth years had been sitting together. To my surprise, none of the girls had found it funny at all. I'd been sure that at least one of them would have said something nasty. They'd spent the last five years bothering us.

Craig saw where I was looking. He took his own shot and then glanced over at them again.

"You know, I am surprised they haven't said a word," he said.

"I was just thinking the same thing. They've made comments about my adoption and my mother's abandonment for years," I said. "I still haven't forgotten about Becky stealing Cameron's letter to me."

"I don't think they ever took it seriously," Andrew said. "I think actually seeing you and your mum shocked them. A lot of people were staring; even people who don't even know you."

"Probably because we drew a crowd," I said with sigh. "Of all the days she had to come see me was today. She had to be the center of attention. For once the Potter and Weasley families weren't the center of attention. I bet they were glad."

"

were even staring," Craig said.

"I have to remember to write to mum," Andrew said.

"You do that," I said. "I thought we said we weren't going to talk about this," and I reached for the shot that Andrew had set in front of me. "No more talk about mum. Tomorrow I'll likely have to talk about it more with the others. I wish something would happen to someone else for a change. I'm tired of being the one everyone gossips about."

From my break up, to my new relationship to this situation, I never had peace. Why couldn't one of the famous Potter's or Weasley's do something? If they did, everyone, even the people in my year would forget me.

"You should stop being so exciting then," Andrew said with a smile.

"Don't worry," Craig said pouring more shots, "it's only the beginning of the school year. Classes haven't even started yet. Something else will happen, and you will be long forgotten. Maybe Albus Potter will do something stupid again."

"That's probably a given," I said smiling. "He's in his third year now. He's allowed in Hogsmeade."

Harry Potter's second born seemed to want to rebel against the fame. It had been big news back in their year first when Rose Weasley and Albus Potter had befriended Scorpius Malfoy. After that, the boy kept making headlines. Usually, it was just minor things that a typical twelve-year-old would do, but the gossip magazines loved him. Now Lily Potter was in her first year; so they had a third Potter kid to talk about.

That was one thing I was thankful for. I was mainly gossiped about just because my year mostly got along, and I seemed to the most exciting. Not only that; but for some of the kids, my Godmother had taught them. The Hoofer's were also known as a rich family too. At least with me; my life story wouldn't end up in the Prophet. There wouldn't be a write-up about my encounter with my mum the next day. The same couldn't be said for any of the Weasley's or Potter's if they'd had the same situation. If Teddy Lupin's parents had abandoned him instead of dying; he'd be in the Prophet for sure if he ran into them.

I said this after we took another few shots.

"You're right about that," Andrew said.

"You never know," Craig said with a wink. "Reporters would have been there today. It's Lily Potter's first year, and I believe it was for a couple of other Weasley's. You did draw a lot of attention today."

"Oh don't say that," I said.

I wondered if it was possible for that to happen? Could I write Ellen to find out? She wasn't with the Daily Prophet, but she was friends with plenty of other writers. I knew she kept in contact with some of the writers from the Prophet. Apparently one of the was one of the Editors from The Witch Weekly. The woman had taken Ellen under her wing when she'd started writing. The two still kept in contact even now.

So while Craig and Andrew began setting up a chess game; I quickly wrote to Ellen.

"She's going to check with someone named Sylvia," I told the boys as they sat down across from each other.

"Hayden plays winner," Andrew said once he was seated.

"Which will be me," Craig said. "I'm the best chess player."

"Andrew beat you last time," I said as I stared at my parchment waiting for Ellen's response.

It was true that Craig was a good chess player. He was an off and on member of the chess club. At times he would decide it was too 'nerdy.' It wasn't often that one of us could beat him, but we had our moments when we did.

It used to annoy me before we became close friends when Craig got cocky like that. After a while, once I got to know him better, I found it to be endearing. Now I was used to it, and I didn't give it too much thought.

"Only

beat me," Craig said. "But I'll let you go, first mate."

"First and last," Andrew said.

"You say that all the time," Craig said as he rolled his eyes.

"And you say that you'll be the winner every time," Andrew retorted.

I was used to their friendly arguments too. I grinned feeling glad that some things were still normal. A lot had changed just from last term; which I was glad about, but the familiarity of my best friends was something I cherished. I never wanted this to go away, and by the end of last term; I hadn't had much of this.

A message on my parchment finally appeared.

"So?" Andrew asked as I rolled the parchment up.

"I'm good," I answered. "The reporters cared more about Lily and Hugo. The big write-up tomorrow will be about their first day of school. The last Potter going and all that, plus there is a picture of Scorpius Malfoy with the Potter's and Weasley's."

"Bet Draco loves that," Craig joked. "You know, I am surprised your family isn't at least semi-famous with Godric's Hallow."

"People know of it, but it wasn't as big of a deal since that group wasn't around for long or as scary as You-Know-Who. Besides, Ben didn't want Ashley's name featured too much. He basically paid them off to keep it quiet. She got an Order of Merlin and all that, but they made it seem as if she only had a small role in it. I think Harry, Ron, and Hermione got most of the glory for it. The article was mainly about how Harry defeated a group thirty years after where he was originally attacked," I explained. "I'm glad about that."

"I thought Harry didn't like taking credit for what other people did," Craig said.

"Doesn't matter if he likes it or not," Andrew said. "They'll make it seem that way regardless. The Daily Prophet would have taken advantage of the fact that Ben paid them off. Didn't he ask Harry to do that anyway?"

"No," I responded. "He asked Harry to keep it quiet for her sake, but that's it. Harry wanted her to have more credit, but Ben said he didn't want that for her or our family. So Harry did what he could to keep it from going that way. The Daily Prophet just took advantage of the fact that the trio was there fighting. They don't care if it's a lie or not. It's about selling the paper, and that's it."

"And Ashley was okay with that?" Craig asked looking skeptical. "I thought she hated when Ben did things like that."

"Depends on what it is, and she'd rather not remember that night for obvious reasons," I replied.

"I don't think Minnie would take that too well," Craig said.

"I think it depends," I said. "I don't think anyone would want what happened that night to be glorified."

"Harry never wanted what happened to him glorified, but it did anyway," Andrew said with raised eyebrows.

"You're comparing apples to oranges though," I said. "You-Know-Who was ten times scarier than that group was. He defeated You-Know-Who when he was just a baby. All the things that group did can't compare to how the Wizarding World was back then."

"I wonder what that would have been like," Craig said as he took out one of Andrew's pieces. "Could you imagine being famous for that? And then having people constantly reminding you of it. I've heard of some of the things he went through at school."

"And every year he was at school; something happened," I said. "He had to fight every year."

"He probably wishes he had your drama," Andrew said taking out two of Craig's pieces with a swift move.

"I wish you had my drama," I retorted. "I'm surprised you don't. Girls never get obsessed with you. They did with Jared but they don't with you."

"Girls know better than to fall for me," Andrew said with a wink.

"That's for sure," Craig said. "It's why they never come back. After one time they can't take anymore."

"They get too much one time that they can't handle anymore," Andrew said and he managed to take two more of Craig's men.

"You've been practicing," I said.

"I wouldn't call it practicing," Andrew said with a smirk. "But the more experience you have; the better you get."

"I have a feeling we aren't talking about chess," I said shaking my head.

"And you were?" Andrew laughed.

"I thought I was," I laughed.

"You know, I think little Alyssa has a crush on you," Craig said to Andrew and I instantly felt annoyed.

She was twelve. He'd better not joke about Andrew and Alyssa. She was too young for us to even have this discussion about her for one thing. For another thing, she was way too smart to ever go for a bloke like Andrew when she was old enough. Lastly, I just didn't want to hear about my sister that way at all.

"Not likely," Andrew said. "She's like another sister to me and she's still a little girl."

"Not that little," Craig said.

"For a sixth year like me she is little," Andrew said defiantly. "She's twelve and a second year. She likes blokes her own age."

"If you say so, but I just thought it looked it on the train. No need to get defensive. I was making an observation. I never said anything about you going for her," Craig replied.

"Considering Hayden's face is turning red," Andrew said looking at me. "I don't think this is the best conversation."

"I don't want to hear things like that about her," I said trying to keep my temper down.

"All I said is I think she has a crush," Craig said. "And that's all. You two need to relax. I never said anything else about it. Kids that age do get crushes on older people, or have you two already forgotten what it's like to be twelve."

"I just know how you get," I told him. "I don't want to hear jokes about Alyssa shagging-"

"Relax mate, I wasn't going to," Craig interrupted. "I just think she looked really happy when Andrew sat beside her. Her entire face lit up."

"She's always looked up to me though," Andrew said. "Even if she was old enough; she wouldn't go for me. She doesn't like how I shag around at all. She thinks I should find a girl and settle down. A smart girl like Alyssa wouldn't give me a chance; which is fine because she's a little girl."

He sounded disappointed and I narrowed my eyes suspiciously at Andrew as he looked back down at the chessboard. A lot of blokes in our year thought she was beautiful despite her age. Even I could admit it. What if he was attracted to her?

. I thought to myself. I was already going to be suspicious of her boyfriends. I didn't need to be that way with my best friend.

I sighed. My first day back was not a good one at all. Now I was brooding about Alyssa and Andrew. I hoped things wouldn't be like this all year.

I didn't have to worry about that thankfully. Sixth year started out complicated enough, but everyone seemed to be over my break up with Cynthia. No one said a word about it, at least not to me. Only a few people made some comments about Michelle and me, but otherwise, they seemed to have moved on.

Everyone was more interested in the fact that we were NEWT students now. Soon we would be taking apparition lessons. The younger kids were all nervous around us too. I would never be mean to a younger student, but it did make me finally feel grown up. A second year even called me 'mister' when he needed to me to move from the notice board.

I checked the Prophet every day as well. I still worried a little that the confrontation would end up in the paper, but it didn't. There was a write-up in the paper about Lily, Hugo and another Weasley named Lucy but that was it. Everything else held no interest to me, and after a week, I stopped looking for anything about it.

I did find it a little hard to spend time with Michelle however. I wanted to hang around with my friends too, and so did she. We wrote to each other a lot on the parchments, and she told me how much it bothered and worried her. I reassured her that she had nothing to worry about. Cynthia and I had made it work after all. Our problems had nothing to do with being in separate houses.

Michelle was a nice change from my ex-girlfriend though. She wasn't clingy; she was independent, she wasn't too self-conscious, she never complained if she got dirty, or if we walked too much. She was the kind of girl I was looking for. I could take for a walk around the lake without her complaining that her heels got muddy. If we went outside, she wore the appropriate shoes for it. She was usually honest about her feelings.

I did miss her though. With Cynthia, at least we had some classes together. There were times when I would be counting down until the moment I would see her again. I tried not to do this too much around my friends. I didn't want to be that bloke who ignored his friends for his girlfriend, but sometimes it could be hard.

A week and a half into the school year; I did just that when Minnie and I were working together in the library. Andrew and Craig were supposed to be meeting us, and I wasn't sure where her friends were or the rest of our group. Minnie was talking to me, but I wasn't hearing a word she was saying. My mind was on a make out session I'd had the night before with Michelle.

"Hayden!" Minnie said slapping the table and causing me to jump.

This caused the librarian Madam Pince to glare in our direction. A few fifth years at nearby table hushed her while other people stared.

"What?" I asked.

"I know you are in love with Michelle, but you shouldn't ignore your friends," she told me. "Don't be like you were with Cynthia."

"I'm not," I responded. "And I wasn't ignoring you."

"Yes you were because if you'd heard me; you would have said something," Minnie said, and she folded her arms. "You're terrible when you get into a new relationship; you know that?"

"So are you," I said. "When you and Craig first got together; I could never get your attention. Craig was even worse. Now, what was so important?"

"I talked to Cynthia last night," Minnie said with a sigh. "Well, I told her off more like, and she said that I was right and that she was sorry. She said that-"

"She was probably lying," I interrupted.

"No she wasn't," Minnie said. "She knows she was being an idiot about it. She said she knew it even when she was doing it. She said she was just so desperate to get you back that she did everything Eileen told her. After she hit on Craig, she realized she was wrong, and she's been feeling guilty ever since. She told me she doesn't want to be another Judy, and that she is going to talk to you, Michelle and Alyssa. She wants to apologize, and she wants to move on. She was sincere Hayden. I could tell. I just figured you should know."

"Well I hope it's true," I said with a shrug. "I really don't want her to be another Judy either. I can't see it though. I'd rather we all get along for the last two years as well. Although our friendship will never be the same again. I am willing to be friendly with her if she is willing to be. I won't talk to her until I know she is sincere though."

"She figures that," Minnie responded. "Her plan I think is to talk to Alyssa and Michelle first, and then you. But I mean, I can tell when she is lying, just as when I can usually tell with you, Cassidy, and Craig. She is sincere. A lot of people can be stupid about their first loves though. You were," and then she smirked at me. "And that's how I know that you weren't listening to me. You would have said something."

"You're right," I finally admitted with a grin. "I was thinking about Michelle, but it's hard not to. I just can't believe I am with her."

Minnie giggled and then picked up her quill.

"I still remember when you didn't like her," she said. "I used to have to convince you to hang out with her."

"It's not that I disliked her, I just didn't want to hang out with her. She was like one of the kids to me," I replied. "But she does think I did hate her, and I feel awful about that. She told me that the summer before our first year that she was sad about me going. I ignored her that entire summer. I wished I'd known back then. She was like an annoying little sister though."

Minnie shrugged. "Look how much I used to dislike Craig. Remember, we only hung out with him because of Colin and the others. It wasn't until he started to hang out with you and Andrew that he really changed. I was shocked to find out that he liked me in third year. He's always been so picky, and there are prettier girls than me."

Back in the day, I hated admitting that Minnie was pretty. I didn't want people to get the wrong idea, but also because she was a cousin to me, even if we weren't related. It just felt wrong. She was just someone who was always there anyway. I hadn't really recognized her as a real girl until maybe second year. However, I knew she was beautiful, and the past year I'd even started to admit to that. I think it was another reason for Cynthia to get jealous. She'd taken the compliments the wrong way. She had never gotten that way when I said the same thing about other girls.

So as Minnie said this, I looked at her incredulously. She'd never been the type to be self-conscious either. Ever since she was a little girl, everyone would tell her she was beautiful. I remembered at some of the weddings that she'd been a flower girl at that she'd brag about how beautiful she looked.

"You realize that you are one of the prettiest in our year," I said to her. "He doesn't have much to choose from when it comes to more beautiful girls. Since when are you doubtful about that anyway? You're not normally the type with low self-esteem."

Minnie giggled again. "I know I am attractive Hayden, but I used to see the way Craig was. I still sometimes see the way he is. Now I know he'll always come back to me because I know he loves me. It's just I know there are prettier girls than me, and I've seen him stop in his tracks to stare. In third year, before he admitted to me how he felt, he'd done that, and then he'd followed the girl. I think she was a fifth year and she was gorgeous."

"Craig liked you since first year," I told her. "And I noticed beautiful girls too, but it didn't stop me from liking Cynthia, and it hasn't stopped me from liking Michelle."

Minnie set her quill down and stared at me opened mouthed.

"I never knew that," she said. "Why didn't you tell me? I thought it was third year. I started to like him in second year. When did that happen?"

"He didn't want us to tell anyone. It was shortly before New Years. Andrew and Craig were trying to get me to kiss Cynthia. It was the entire reason we had to kiss on New Years. I didn't want to be a set up like that. It's how we got the idea to draw names. We joked that we should get him to kiss you, but none of us felt comfortable with him doing it if you didn't want it. That was another reason we set that up. We wanted you on board with it. He got excited about the prospect of kissing you. He liked you ever since," I explained. "He was like me. It took him forever to admit it. I'm sorry, but he's one of my best mates too. I couldn't tell you."

"Hmm," Minnie said picking up her quill again. "I'll have to talk to him about that when they get here. So much for getting ahead in Transfiguration. I've barely written a sentence since we sat down."

"I haven't written anything," I said pushing me parchment towards her. "I'm never going to get these non-verbal spells."

"You will," Minnie said. "You're powerful. Remember what Uncle Ben used to say? It's all about confidence. I think you can do it. You're usually one of the first. Or maybe a little fourth year is distracting you."

"It's not Michelle," I said quickly. "Remember, I had no problem when I was with Cynthia. I'm just overwhelmed. Ben and Ashley were right when they said the workload wasn't as much as last year, but it's still a lot, and it's complicated."

"Well, so far no one has done any spells yet non-verbally Hayden. Hence the reason why we have all this homework," she said. "I'm not even looking forward to Arithmancy. Where is Andrew anyway? He is too good at that class. I need him."

"Don't let Craig hear you say that," I said.

"He'll get over it," Minnie said. "What is keeping that lot anyway?"

"I don't know," I said. "Those two are always late. Maybe they have a secret relationship after all."

It was a running joke back in our second year. Andrew and Craig were always late. I could never understand what it was that kept them. We'd stop joking around about that after Craig had sent the boil hex at Marco in fury.

"Good thing you're good at making the potion to cure boils," Minnie said with a smirk.

"Why are they behind me?" I asked, and I turned in my seat to look around.

"No, but I made you look," Minnie said. "What were they doing before you came down?"

"I was talking to Michelle before I came here," I answered. "And I can't blame it on girls for them. You're here," and then remembering the conversation, we'd had our first night here I sighed. "Want to hear something mental?"

"If it has to do with Craig and Andrew; I am not so sure," Minnie answered.

"Craig reckons that Alyssa fancies Andrew," I told her.

"Oh that. Well, it's a possibility, but she is twelve. It's normal for young girls to fancy older guys. It doesn't mean anything," Minnie said with a shrug.

"Wait, you knew about it?" I asked her. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because Craig told me that he told you too," Minnie said. "We were talking about it last week. I don't know if she does or not. If she does, I'm just saying it's not a big deal. It happens all the time. Mum told me that before she noticed dad that she was in love with Cedric Diggory, but she never went for him."

"Could it be because he died?" I asked. "And look at Michelle. She was too young for me for years."

"No, she was quite young, and he usually had a girlfriend, but mum knew she didn't stand a chance. Not everyone is like you and Michelle either. Most of the time with younger kids, it's just a passing crush. Ellen told me that girls have been in love with Professor Martin for years. I hope you're not going to say anything to Alyssa about it. Craig could be completely wrong, and it will embarrass her," Minnie said.

"It hadn't occurred to me," I said.

"Well don't," Minnie said. "Just let it go. Alyssa is going to fancy a lot of blokes, and you can't stand in her way. If you get angry every time, she will never confide in you either. You'll just push her away, and you'll make her feel like a child. Remember how angry she was in the summer. You have to let her grow up, and you have to give her room to breathe."

"I know," I said. "I already told her that I would leave her alone when it comes to that stuff. I just told her to make sure I don't hear about it too much."

"Well, I hope you won't freak out too much if you do," Minnie replied. "I am glad I don't have an older brother. I only have to deal with dad at holidays. I've been lucky when it comes to you. You haven't been too annoying with my dates."

"Craig had the talk though," I told her.

"Craig had the talk about what?"

Craig and Andrew sat down at the table with. Craig was grinning as he took a seat beside Minnie.

"About you not hurting Minnie," I said.

Andrew laughed.

"Craig was scared to tell you how he felt," he said.

"And according to Hayden, you actually liked me since first year," Minnie said with folded arms. "I wish I'd known."

"I didn't have the nerve," Craig said. "And besides, what do eleven or twelve-year-olds know about dating? It's best we waited."

"What do thirteen-year-olds know?" Andrew asked.

"Well even then it was awkward, but it's not often you stay together with someone you date at twelve," Craig said.

"You could say the same for any age in the teens," I said. "Ben told me that in first year. He said it's rare you last that long, and it depends on the couple. You two are good together though," I said. "I don't think it would have mattered what age you two started to date."

"I just don't understand why you haven't told me since," Minnie said. "You knew I liked you in second year. I told you that on our first date."

Craig shrugged. "I dunno. I wasn't even sure if I did like you. I was excited I got to kiss a pretty girl, and I never forgot about it. You were always pretty, but then you glowed up over the summer between second and third year. So it might have actually been third year when it started. Why were you two talking about that anyway?"

"The things you talk about when we are waiting on you lot," I said quickly.

I didn't feel like bringing up that conversation again. It was one we'd talked about over and over again since I'd gotten with Michelle.

"What took you so long anyway?" I asked. "And where is everyone else?"

"We were playing chess," Craig said. "It went on longer than we thought. We figured we'd be waiting on you anyway. Looks like you two didn't get much done anyway. I was hoping we could copy."

"You know I don't let you copy," Minnie said suddenly stern. "You'd think you'd learn by now."

"You know that I'll always try," Craig said with a wink.

Minnie rolled her eyes just as everyone else started to join us. I was relieved by this. I didn't feel like sitting through their flirting. With everyone else around; they would stop. Marco was also one of the best in Transfiguration, so he could hopefully help us.

"What are you talking about?" Marco asked when I said this. "You're always one of the first to do the spells."

"Yes, but my essays have never been the best," I said. "You understand the way the spell works better."

"Andrew, I need help with Arithmancy," Minnie said. "I'm counting on you. Now help please."

Andrew laughed. "You're not going to get through the next two years without me," he said.

As my friends began joking; my thoughts went back to Michelle. I wondered what she was doing at the moment. Likely she was giggling with her silly friends. I only liked Catalina and Dawn out of her friends. The rest were annoying, but she hung out with them anyway. While the others joked, I glanced at my parchment to see if she'd written. Ashley had, likely to update me on what was going on at home but not Michelle. I pushed it away. I would read Ashley's message later.

"Let's just work on Transfiguration now," I said trying to get my mind off my girlfriend for the moment. Minnie was right after all. "We always get confused when we do different subjects."

Minnie was right. Cynthia apologized to Michelle, who told me all about it shortly after it happened, and then she apologized to Alyssa. A few days after that, she approached me while I was waiting outside the Charms classroom.

We had most of our classes together, but so far she had avoided me. We were the only two waiting outside the class so far. I'd spent the lunch break with Michelle, who had gone to her Ancient Runes class early, so I'd come straight to Charms.

"I'm sure I'm not the first person you want to talk to at the moment," she said with a smile when I raised my eyebrows at her. "But I owe you an apology."

"Minnie said you likely would apologize," I said. "And you've talked to Michelle and Alyssa, so I was expecting it."

"I shouldn't have acted the way I did all summer," Cynthia said. "You were my first love, and it was hard losing you. I even knew last year that things weren't right between us. Then I saw the way you looked at Michelle all the time. It was the way you used to look at me. After a while, you started looking at me like you dreaded it or something. I don't even know why I got so jealous about Minnie. I knew it wasn't her. I guess because it was so easy since everyone always made comments about the two of you."

"It's fine," I told her and I was surprised that it was actually fine.

I'd expected her to apologize to me, and I'd told myself I'd tell her I was okay with it. I wasn't sure if I really was, but looking at her sad face, I realized I truly was okay, and I was over her. I had so resentment whatsoever for her.

"We've had history," I said to her. "It's okay to be a little nutty after a breakup."

"A little?" Cynthia asked. "I went full-on psycho ex-girlfriend. Eileen bumped into me at The Leaky Cauldron the day after our break up. I was hoping you'd be there so we could talk. I listened to her advice about it. I was emotional, and when she went on about what a prat you were, I agreed. After Alyssa hit me, I went home and thought about it. Then I had to be stupid and go for Craig on the train because you weren't there. I'm surprised that Minnie can forgive me for that. After that, it was truly my wake-up call. I've wanted to talk to you lot since but I was scared. Then Minnie confronted me, and I knew what I had to do."

"You realized you made a mistake though," I said. "A lot of people can't. It's why we can forgive you. Look at Judy, she knows and yet she continues all these years later to act like a bitch. I knew all summer that it wasn't you anyway. I figured you'd stop the act."

"I didn't make you cheat on Michelle did I?" She asked. "When I kissed you on your birthday I mean."

"No," I answered. "We weren't together by that point. It happened right after. It wouldn't have been cheating anyway."

"Good," Cynthia said. "I really do hope things work between you two. I won't lie and say that I am completely over you, but I am moving on. I even have a date for the first Hogsmeade weekend. I just want you to be happy Hayden."

We couldn't say much more after that. The rest of the sixth years began to join us. Some people were looking at us curiously. Cynthia smiled and joined her girl friends while Minnie, Craig and Andrew joined me.

"Everything okay?" Andrew asked and I nodded.

"Yes, maybe eventually things can go back to semi-normal," I said.

And perhaps the drama would finally be over for me. I hadn't heard from mum, but Ashley had gone to see her. I wasn't sure how their meeting had gone since I hadn't gotten back to her. It was a reminder to me that I needed to do that. My focus had been on school, Michelle and my friends.

When we entered the classroom, I decided I'd better get back to her. She might have thought I was angry with her for seeing mum. She hadn't messaged me since, and I knew how she stressed. I hoped I hadn't put her through anymore. So while I waited for the Professor to start the class, I quickly wrote to her.

It didn't take long for Ashley to reply back.

I was going to be on edge waiting for the letter however. I should have gotten back to her sooner. I told Craig and Andrew everything in whispers during class. Both stared at me with raised eyebrows. I was sure they were both wondering what it was mum could have told Ashley. I knew they were surprised that Ashley had even gone to see her. I hadn't told them about it, but I'd dismissed it quickly because my thoughts had been on Michelle. Perhaps Minnie was right when she'd said I was too focused on my new girlfriend. I couldn't ignore everything else, even if she did manage to make me happy enough to forget things like my mum.

She was true to her word though, that very night at dinner, an owl flew over and dropped off a letter. I quickly finished dinner, and then left the table hoping that my friends wouldn't follow me. For this, I needed to be alone. I didn't go up to the common room. I knew they'd join me eventually, and I wanted to be alone for a while. I went to one of the many secret passages I knew about. It was dinner hour, and I doubted I'd find any snoggers hidden in the one I was looking for.

Once I knew I was completely alone, I took a deep breath and then opened the letter. Was it going to reveal some truths or had something happened between mum and Ashley that would anger me again? It was a surprise that Ashley had gone to see her. Given her anger and anxiety, it was the last thing I'd expected. I should have written back sooner to give her my support on it.

I read through her letter twice. As I did this, a memory I didn't know I had came back to me. Mum weeping on the floor when I was about three. I'd gone over to comfort her, and she'd shoved me away. I'd stared at her with shock. At times she snapped at me, but she'd never shoved me or hurt me before. She looked furious as we stared at each other.

"This is all your fault!" She'd shouted. "Because of your freakishness, your baby brother or sister is gone!"

I'd been leaning against the wall while I'd read the letter, but now I slid down feeling chilled. There were other times too that she'd snapped at me. Something about a brother or sister not coming, but I'd been too young to comprehend it and I'd forgotten those moments. Mum had blamed

for her miscarriages. She'd always sent me away, but hadn't she started doing it more and more after a while? It was probably when I was about two or three when she'd started doing it more often. Then there were times when she'd be more angrier than usual. She'd miscarried, she'd blamed it on me. But it wasn't my fault. I knew too that she drank a lot. I knew she drank more than most adults did.

And it should have been Michelle who I wrote to, and I would later, but it was Minnie, Andrew, and Craig.

I wrote.

They could all say I put girlfriends first, but I didn't. It was still my three best friends I wanted at that very second. The ones who had always been there for me. Minnie who had been there with me when mum told me she didn't want me anymore, Andrew who I'd told not too much longer after that, and then Craig who'd had my back always, even when I hadn't considered him my best friend at first.

I finally wrote to Ashley.

She knew me so well too. It made me feel guilty that I hadn't always treated her or Ben right. They both knew what I would do or wouldn't do. They knew that I'd want to talk to my friends before my girlfriend. They also knew I would talk to Alyssa as soon as I could as well. I would tell Michelle later, but right now I needed my friends.

It wasn't long before all three of them were there either. We'd used this passageway in our second year at times to talk. We were all so much bigger now that they had to squeeze in. It helped when Minnie sat on Craigs lap.

"Read it," I said. "I can't explain it properly."

Minnie didn't even know Ashley had gone to talk to mum, I hadn't had the chance to tell her. I had a feeling that Craig and Andrew had filled her in. The three read the letter together.

"Wow," Craig finally said at the end. "I don't even know what to say."

"Neither do I," I said. "But I'm remembering things I didn't before. There were a few times she actually told me she lost the babies, but I forgot. I was too young to understand, and I was used to her calling it my freakishness. I think I was three the first time it happened."

"And another time when I was four and you were five," Minnie said. "I was there remember? She was crying in the bathroom and we went in and there was blood. Remember? She said it was her monthly but we heard her didn't we? She said she'd lost another baby because of the unnaturalness. We didn't understand. We thought she was calling her monthly her unnaturalness. By that point I knew what a period was from mum and I explained it to you because you didn't understand all the blood. I'd told you that sometimes girls bled and my mum had it."

I'd forgotten that moment until then. I stared at Minnie remembering how she'd sat down and explained that her mum had to deal with a gross blood mess once a month and soon she would too.

"I remember mum hadn't wanted me to know about it at four, but I'd walked in on her once and so she had to explain," Minnie went on as I remembered that moment. "But I'd kind of forgotten about it anyway until I got closer to twelve, but I'd forgotten the bloody mess at your mum's. I just remembered my mum telling me about periods. Why did we both forget?"

"Well it was probably a traumatic experience for such young kids to see," Andrew said making a face. "And I mean, little kids walk in on their parents in the bathroom all the time but forget about it. I think kids tend to forget that stuff for their own sanity, I mean who wants to remember that when they're older. I walked in on mum in the tub but I've pushed that kind of thing from my memory. I mean, it's normal when kids are little and parents expect not to get that kind of privacy, but everyone forgets it."

"And we probably saw that as a normal adult thing I guess," Minnie said. "Ugh, but there was so much blood all over everything," and she shuddered.

"And she was crying so much," I said as I remembered the same scene.

All the blood on the floor, the sides of the bathtub, the floor and all over mum. And me feeling freaked out and mum saying: "It's just my monthly kids, go on. Get out."

And then a little while later, Minnie explained to me. "Sometimes women bleed. Mum says it will happen to me one day too. It means you're a woman when it happens. I hope it never does. It's gross."

"Glad I'm not a girl," I'd said.

"Your mum was more messed up than anyone realized, probably even before you came," Andrew said.

"Well, Ben said it's probably came from her own abandonment issues," I said. "He and Ashley have been honest about that all along. Her mum never cared for her and then she let the cycle repeat. Probably drank her worries away. I remember thinking she drank more than any grown up I knew. Ashley and Ben had their parties, but she drank everyday and partied every weekend."

"And she blamed all those miscarriages on your magic, but she was just delusional. Most alcoholics don't realize anything is wrong though, but that Mart bloke realized something, and it's why he forced her to stop with your sister. You know, it's probably the reason he never argued about you going to live your real father either. Maybe he even thought your real father fought to have you and she just lied," Andrew said. "I mean, he knew you were part of her life, but then suddenly she tells him you've gone to live with your dad and he knew about her alcoholism? I mean, of course your not with your dad but I bet that's what he thinks."

"Likely, and he probably figured you were better off," Craig said. "According to that letter, they're only together for Kyleigh. So he is probably worried for her sake, and he probably thinks your father felt the same way."

"And Ashley and Ben have probably guessed that as well," I said. "She said she would tell Mart where I really am if she doesn't see a therapist. I bet she wishes she could tell him about the magic, but it's probably better if Mart thinks I am with her because of the alcohol. He knows she is my godmother, so it would make sense that she would fight for custody."

"So your mum has probably been living this lie all these years," Minnie said. "Even with getting pregnant with you by a magical man, which by the way, I still find odd. At times I think she sought one out. It just seems odd that she happened to get pregnant by a magical man. She could even be lying about his other magical son. What if she got pregnant by one of the Hogwarts men Ashley knows? Isn't it a bit odd that she gave birth in September? I remember Ashley and Ben talking about how much she hit on the younger boys at her party."

I felt chilled at that moment. Could my real father be one of her friends? Had she slept with one of her friends and I was the result? The four of us stared at each other, before I reached for my parchment again. I quickly wrote to Ashley and Ben about Minnie's theory. I also wondered if it was possible that it was Jared!

Was Ashley's quick response.

I wrote quickly.

And yet I really hoped it was true. I hoped it was someone Ashley and Ben knew so that the mystery could finally be put to rest. He couldn't try and take responsibility for me, but at least I would know and maybe we could see each other for the first time as father and son even if Ben would always be my dad.

I read to them what Ashley had written back. Maybe by that night, I'd know who my real father was.

"They'll probably feel guilty and angry," Andrew said. "They're all good blokes."

"We should get back," I said with a sigh. "And I need to tell Michelle. I needed you three first, but I need to tell her and Alyssa too. Perhaps we can all find out together who it really is."

But to my dismay, Ashley didn't find it out. If it was any of the three, they weren't answering back right away. Mum started to write to me too, I think because Ashley had demanded answers. I demanded answers too, but she wouldn't tell me. So I tried to push all that from my mind. I couldn't let it all distract me from Michelle or my school work.

And I loved Michelle. It was a revelation that woke me up in the middle of the night close to our first Hogsmeade trip. I told her everything, and she was a great source of comfort to me. She was the kind of girl I wanted to be with. I'd wanted Cynthia because she was beautiful, but with Michelle, I loved her beauty but it was more than that. I'd thought at first it was just lust, but I woke up in the middle of the night after dreaming about marrying her, and it didn't scare me. It made me happy. I'd had the dream about Cynthia once, and it scared me.

When I took her to a special spot I'd found in Hogsmeade, Michelle didn't complain about the climb. I hadn't even tried with Cynthia because I knew she would hate it, and it was during that trip that I told her how I felt. She stared back at me in shock, and then she was upset because she didn't feel the same way. I understood though. She was fourteen and I was seventeen. Of course she couldn't know yet, but I did know. Even if she never loved me back, I loved her.

"You don't think I'm confusing lust with love like I did with Cindy do you?" I asked Minnie after I told her my revelation. She'd stared at me for quite a long time. Maybe I was, but I really didn't think so.

"No," she finally said. "I think you have for a long time. I'm just worried about you because she doesn't feel the same way yet."

"I can wait," I said. "But what do you mean you think I have for a long time."

"Ever since the two of you started hanging out more," she said. "I think you loved her, and then you fell even more in love with her recently. I'm happy for you Hayden because now you understand how Craig and I feel, but I worry too because of her age. She loves being with you, it's obvious. I've seen the way she looks at you, but I just don't think she knows she loves you or it's not the level you feel yet."

"Minnie, if she never loves me back I'll be grateful for the time we had together. I won't pull a Cynthia," I told her. "I think she will love me someday. All I can do for now is show her how much I love her, and let her go if she doesn't."

"But she's so young," Minnie said.

"So am I. So are you and Craig. Age has nothing to do with love Minnie. Look at your parents and mine. Ben was in love with Ashley since he was Alyssa's age."

"Well, there is truth in that. I just worry about you. Michelle is so sweet so she would never intentionally hurt you, but I do still worry about you. You've been hurt so many times in the past. I just don't want it to happen anymore, so I just hope you're right. You deserve happiness and love," Minnie said.

"I know you worry, and I am glad and you'll be the first I'll talk to if it all goes to hell," I told Minnie. "Though Alyssa, Craig, and Andrew will be next in line. And many others."

And yet, I felt full confidence that I wouldn't have to worry about it. Even if we did break up, I wouldn't be as hurt as I should have been. I loved her, but I would let her go, and I'd been hurt so many times that I could handle it from the girl I loved. Minnie wasn't wrong when she said I'd been hurt enough.

Michelle was happy with me though, so I took what I could get. In November, we spent quite a bit of time together. I hadn't scared her off with my confession, in fact, it made her seem even happier. We tried to spend equal time with our friends, but we always seemed more eager to be with each other. We even told each other the most mundane details or our days. The details I usually omitted when I'd been with Cynthia. She was the one often reassuring me when I'd get disappointed because Ashley and Ben hadn't found out anything. When mum wrote, it was just to get back in my life. I always wrote back that she had to tell me the truth first.

And then at the end of November, I finally got the message I'd been waiting for from Ashley.

I felt cold as I read through this. I'd been around this man so many times and he could be my real dad. He was at almost every party Ashley had. He'd even held me on his lap when I was small boy. He'd been there for my seventeenth. He thought he knew, but he'd hid that secret, and yet I couldn't blame him. It was her fault. She'd gone for a fourteen year old boy, and it was that part that gave me chills. My overage mum had gone after an innocent fourteen year old. When Minnie had told her theory, I hadn't given it much thought that he'd been a teenager. It was disgusting.

And once again, I was writing my friends but I included Michelle and Alyssa this time. As I thought of them, I felt disgusted. How would we react if one of Ashley's friends went for Michelle or Alyssa, or any of us? People always acted like it was worse when it was a man, but it was just as disgusting when it was a woman. It made me feel worse about my mum and I felt bad for this Brad bloke. Even if he wasn't my father, I felt bad for him.

Once they were with me, this time outside, I told them everything Ashley had just written me. All their eyes widened. I don't even think Minnie had thought of his age when she'd suggested her theory. We all looked at Michelle who was that age. I'd hurt any man who felt the need to touch her. Alyssa looked terrified as she stared at Michelle.

"It's disgusting," Alyssa said. "It's Charlies age, and Michelle's age and a grown woman took advantage. No wonder he was scared."

"It's statutory rape!" Minnie spat out. "She knew he'd want her and she took advantage."

"It's not that with us is it?" Michelle asked worriedly as she pointed to me and then her. "I mean, he's an adult too."

"I don't know," Minnie said with a frown. "You two love each other, and you haven't done anything and we're all teens. I don't think it's the same as with a grown woman and a teenaged boy, but the law might not see it the same way. But it happens so much with people your ages that I don't think it's that big of a deal. The teachers know you're together and I think if it was wrong, they'd have said something."

The teachers had caught Michelle and me snogging a few times. I didn't want to talk about this though. I didn't want my mothers disgusting act to taint my relationship. We had an age difference of two and a half years while she'd been in her twenties and preyed against an adolescent boy. I didn't want Michelle to think I was doing the same. No one would let us date if it was the same thing, and I wouldn't touch her beyond kissing until I felt she was ready. I didn't even think her and me should shag until she was at least sixteen. I figured if it was wrong, our parents and our teachers would have said something by now though.

"It's not bad between us," I told Michelle. "It can't be compared to what mum did."

"I know it can't," she said.

I tried not to let any of the usual drama affect my grades. I needed good NEWTs. Thankfully, even with everything going on, I still brought in my good grades. Everyday, I waited on edge for the news of who my father could be, but I found that distracting myself in my work helped bring up my grades. I didn't let my relationships with my friends or my girlfriend to change. I did my best to look after my sister and other cousins too.

And then, as the Christmas Break approached, both my mother and Ashley wrote to me.

Mum didn't write back, but Ashley did that very same day and I had a feeling it was because she'd wrote mum first. She'd told her the news. It was too suspicious after all to me. They'd done the DNA test. It had taken a while for Brad to get back, and I'd had to send my own samples of course through the mail. Brad, and not some random bloke was my father. My father had been a fourteen-year-old kid taken advantage by an older woman.

It made me feel sick every time I thought about it, and I didn't know what I'd do if I didn't have Michelle, or my friends by my side. I didn't know if Cynthia could have handled this kind of news, or if I could have even told her about it. Michelle was there to reassure me, and I worried I was too much baggage for her. She should have been having fun with a boyfriend, not have to constantly reassure one like she was with me. It should have been me looking out for her.

"It's not too much baggage," Michelle told me when I apologized to her one afternoon. "And I knew all about your mum before we got together. Everyone has their problems. I have my parents and Mickey. You have your mum."

"I thought their fighting got better," I said looking at her with alarm.

She hadn't said so in so long, and perhaps it was because she was worrying so much about me. She shouldn't have had to worry about her parents and her boyfriend.

"As far as I know they're getting along, but I still worry sometimes," Michelle replied. "Mum sat down and explained everything to me after all. She said that there was a time when she did worry, but she said her and dad wouldn't let it get that way. She also says now that they know what's wrong with Mickey, it makes things easier too. Now that I know there was a problem though, I do worry. You know how parents mask everything. I still think at times mum and dad only stayed together just because mum got pregnant with me."

"But from what I hear, your dad was head over heels in love with your mum. Kind of like my dad was with mine," I said.

"You called him your dad," Michelle said looking pleased.

"Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't," I said. "I know Ashley and Ben are my mum and dad but sometimes calling them that isn't easy. I don't think you have to worry about your parents though, and from what I've heard, we'll be going back to a different Mickey."

"That's what mum said," Michelle said. "She said at times he goes on the verge of one of his tantrums, but then manages to calm himself. She said it's so much progress just from the summer. I believe her, and I can't wait to see him at Christmas. She said he's like his usual cherub self. I've heard there is progress with William too."

I felt guilty when she mentioned William. I hadn't asked about him for so long. I'd been too busy worrying about who could my real father be. I wanted to confront my mum again. How could she go after a fourteen-year-old? It didn't matter if it was consensual. She went for someone eleven years younger than herself, and now it was making me question my own relationship with sweet Michelle. What if I was the predator going after a fourteen-year-old like my mum had? I'd written to Ben about it, and he'd told me it wasn't the same thing at all, and he must have mentioned it to both Keith and Ellen because they'd written to me. I'd been shocked the most seeing Keith, who had been upset about our relationship reassure me.

"What's wrong?" Michelle asked when I didn't say anything.

"Oh," I said coming out of my trance. "I've just realized I haven't asked about William at all. Not since the beginning anyway."

"Well, you've had other things on your mind," Michelle answered.

"Still, I really haven't written to the twins or Hailey," I said. "I really should. I'll do that later though. Hard to believe those two will be here next year."

"They're going to try and take this school over," Michelle said laughing. "William thinks they should be the next Weasley twins, and Cameron wants nothing to do with it."

"Yeah I know. I think Cameron will be Ravenclaw. I get the feeling they'll be separated but that's probably a good thing. They can branch out better," I said. "I mean, they have their groups but as you know, the kids you hang out with aren't the same you hang out with here. House loyalties still happen even with knowing each other before school."

"You ever think that Judy girl will change?" Michelle asked. "She was so sweet at one point. I still can't believe she let the bad girls of Slytherin change her."

"Judy won't change by this point, and if she does, we don't care," I told her. "I don't care about the amount of apologies she gives. It would be the same if Colleen and Becky tried to be friends with us again."

"So how come-" Michelle began but then she stopped. "Never mind."

I knew what she wanted to ask though.

"It's different with family than friends," I said. "No one will ever understand my feelings when it comes to my mum. Right now, I don't even understand my feelings because I feel sick at the thought of her seducing a fourteen-year-old kid, I am angry about the stunt that she pulled at the station, I hate the fact that she tried to pit me against the only parents who do love me, and I still have those issues from when she abandoned me. Now all these other memories are coming back, and I am so mixed up because of it, and yet deep down just because she is my birth mother, I still have that need. I didn't have any emotional attachment to those girls."

"Fair enough, but if you don't feel hatred for them, how can you say you wouldn't forgive them?" Michelle asked. "They're bitches for sure, but they never put you through what your mum did."

"It's complicated," I said. "And maybe I could forgive Judy, but I just don't know."

"I'm not meaning to upset you or pry," Michelle said. "I'm just confused. It's hard for me to hate the people here, and yet, if I was in your situation, I don't think I could forgive my mum."

"Because you're not in my situation, and you're so innocent and sweet that you can't hate anyone," I said.

"Not that sweet and innocent," Michelle replied. "And I am capable of hate because I hate your mum so much and I hate Michael's parents too, and they died a year before I was born. I hate anyone who could abandon their child like that. I hate any of the Death Eaters we heard about and Lord Voldemort, and he seems like a fictional story to me."

"You actually said the name," I said feeling impressed. Most people still called him You-Know-Who.

"Not always, but I've been testing it out the last few weeks. He's been dead for a long time. Our parents hadn't even started school yet when he'd died. And I've read quotes in books about Harry Potter that said: Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself. I guess it was something Dumbledore said, and it's the truth. I mean, why fear someone long dead?"

"It's just the actions I suppose," I said. "It's the truth, but not too many can say it even nowadays and we all feel the same way you do. I try not to as well just because some of the families affected by the war."

"I've just thinking of the Golden Trio can say the name, we can," Michelle said with a shrug. "But it's a personal choice. Anyway, we'll be going home soon enough. You'll see William and Cameron then and you can catch up with them. I think Ashley has promised the twins she'd start keeping them in the loop now anyway so they probably know what's going on with you, and they'll understand. Hailey always understands."

"That's true. She's such a smart and sweet little girl," I said and then looked at Michelle. "But enough of this. Lately our talks have always been about my home life. We promised we'd enjoy this year, and the family drama has started again."

"Sometimes the serious talk will happen," Michelle said and leaned over to kiss. "It can't always be all fun and games, but I love all the time we spend together Hayden. I for one, am enjoying my year and given the last Gryffindor party you lot had from your Quidditch win, I know you are too. You've had a big bombshell dropped on you though. I'd be shocked too."

"You know, Ashley at times talks about how she believes in reincarnation," I began. "And she mentioned that at times we choose our life paths. I often wonder if maybe I'm being punished for being bad in a past life or something."

"No," Michelle said quickly. "I've heard her talk about that too, and sometimes I think I believe in it too, but I don't think we come back as punishment. I think we choose our life paths like she does, but I also don't think everyone can come back magical. The ones who have served many lives do, and when we come here as magical beings, we choose how we want to live our life. You chose a life where you have some challenges."

"But what about Lord V-Voldemort?" I asked.

It was actually satisfying saying the name, but I knew I had to watch who I said it around. Michelle grinned.

"See? Not so hard," she said. "Anyway I'm not really sure with him. I guess some souls do go bad and I think Jared, who also believes in it said that some souls who are awful are stuck in limbo. And he split his anyway so I don't know how it works with someone like that. Maybe he's just destroyed forever and he can't come back. I mean, he split the most important part of him. I mean… you weren't worried you were him reincarnated or something were you?"

"No of course not," I said quickly smiling at that. "I never thought of what I was before I came back, but often I just wonder. I mean, I was born to a mum who didn't want me and then I've had all this drama."

"But besides that, you have a good life," Michelle said. "I know you hate it when people tell you that, but you really do. I mean, yes, you had to lose your mum over it and that is awful, but you live with people who all truly love you, and you are set for life. You have friends who love you, and even if you ended things with Cynthia, you were happy with her at first. You got the girl you'd wanted for years, and then you got with

. And Hayden-" and she paused for a moment. "Well, remember in Hogsmeade when I told you if I wasn't sure if I loved you? Well, I

love you and I'm not saying that to make you feel better. I've been thinking about it a lot lately, and I've talked to Catalina and Dawn. I believe I've loved you since I was nine. So, you have so much love in your life. If you were being punished for a past life; I don't think you'd have so much love, and you wouldn't be so lovable."

A lot of what she said, went over my head. She said she loved me. And I believed her. She wasn't saying it because I wanted to hear it or to make me feel better, she was serious. I could see it in her eyes, in the tone of her voice and just her body language. I didn't have to say anything, I just grabbed a hold of her and kissed her. Maybe she was right after all. I did have plenty of love despite my messed up parentage.

After my talk with Michelle, I cheered up considerably. It wasn't that I spent my days miserable, I made sure to enjoy my time while I could, but I did fall into my moods at times. Many people had always pointed out how much love I had in my life and yet, I'd always gotten annoyed when they did. With Michelle though, I didn't. It wasn't only because she told me that she loved me too. I couldn't explain why coming from her it didn't sound as annoying.

"So is your family going to Florida this year?" Andrew asked one evening as the Christmas holidays drew nearer.

"They haven't mentioned it yet," I replied. "Maybe. In a way, I hope we don't."

"Maybe you can take the beautiful neighbour girl with you," Craig said with a wink. "Minnie wants me to have Christmas dinner with the family this year you know."

"You've had them before," Andrew said.

"Not Christmas dinners," Craig contradicted. "And it's the big Christmas dinner, not just the family one. It's where everyone is together," and then he looked at me. "Is it at your place this year?"

"I think it's at Ben's parents," I replied. "We did it last year. I think even Jaime, Chris, and Graysen will be there. Usually she doesn't go because of all the magic."

Andrew's eyes widened. They all knew about Jaime and her desire to ignore the magic.

"Is something huge happening? They were there for Ashley's birthday but isn't that the last time?"

"No, they were there for my birthday, remember?" I asked. "And I don't think anything is going on. If it is, they haven't told me."

"Oh right, well, that's what I mean. She's only there for special events. Has she even seen your grandparents home?"

That was a good question. I wasn't sure if she had but then I remembered the wedding had been at Ben's parents.

"Yes, but I don't think it's been for years," I replied after thinking about it for a moment. "Ashley and Ben's wedding was there. I can't remember if she went to others, but usually Ben's parents like to invite everyone in Ashley's family too when they have it at their place. So she might have just accepted for once for whatever reason. Not sure how they're going to get there, but Ashley always casts a spell so that the three of them always forget about the magic."

"Does that spell work if people talk about it?" Craig asked.

"I think so," I answered. "I mean, it's hardly fair for everyone to be extra quiet just because of three people, and two of them are in on the secret, so really, it's just the one."

"In a way I can understand why she keeps it secret from Graysen, but it can still be annoying for everyone else," Andrew said. "Should be interesting. Think I can get an invitation to the Hoofer family Christmas?"

"Probably," I said. "My parents love you and friends have always been welcome. One more mouth to feed won't be a big deal."

"You'll be a third wheel though," Craig said to him with him a wink.

Andrew shrugged. "That's not never bothered me. I've been third wheel since you two decided to start dating seriously. I'll just hang out with Charles. Believe me, I am never lonely."

I wondered if that was true though. Not that a person had to be in a relationship to be happy, but I did wonder if he ever wanted a long term girlfriend, but just pretended he didn't. I'd never been single long enough to really know for sure. Since the first year, the longest I'd ever been single for was five or six months. Momentarily, I wondered if that had to do with my issues with my mum, but I pushed it away. There wasn't anything wrong with enjoying being in a relationship.

"The two heart breakers of their year," Craig laughed. "They'll share tips. Charlies will probably give better advice."

Andrew just rolled his eyes.

"You know, I'm surprised Richard isn't," Craig continued. "But he doesn't seem to realize that the girls fawn all over him. William will be the heart breaker in his year."

"Richard cares too much about studying but he notices girls," I said. "And I really hope not with William, but I get the feeling you're right. I mean, no offense to you Andrew, but I don't understand that mindset."

"Eventually I'll meet the right girl," Andrew said with a shrug. "I'm sixteen. And Charles is much worse than I am and I get the feeling William will be too. I just haven't met a girl I want to spend all my time with, but plenty are willing to snog or shag. No point in turning that down. They've always known where they stand with me."

"I feel sorry for the one who finally does," I said.

My thoughts went to Alyssa. Ever since Craig had mentioned it, I watched Alyssa whenever she was around him, and I thought I saw the same thing. I really hoped she didn't like him. It was something we'd have to discuss over the holidays. Michelle and Minnieu both told me not to say anything, but I couldn't keep this quiet. I needed to know. Even if she got over it eventually, I still needed to know because it was my sister and best friend. I trusted Andrew of course, and I knew he knew he was too old for her.

Craig was staring at me, and I wondered if he was thinking the same thing as me.

There was another Hogsmeade visit the last day before school ended. Michelle was meeting up with me later, and I had a feeling it was because she wanted to buy some gifts, so I went down with Andrew.

"This doesn't mean I'm buying you breakfast," Andrew said to me with a grin as we walked down the path to Hogsmeade.

"Then there won't be a second date," I told him pulling my cloak tighter around me.

It was a very windy and snowy day. I was already regretting leaving the warmth of the castle. After all, I could always go to Diagon Alley another day to get gifts, and I already had most of mine bought by owl order. I was only coming so we could all meet up later.

"Why are we going?" Andrew asked me. "Or better yet, why am I going?"

"To keep me company," I shouted over to him over the whistling winds. "I'll buy

breakfast," I added.

"Sounds good to me, and a butterbeer for later," he told me. "As long as we stay in most of the shops it will be fine."

"It shouldn't be as bad in the village. At least the buildings can act as wind barriers," I said.

At least that's what I hoped. I couldn't remember it being this cold before. I was used to the cold winters at Hogwarts, but this walk to the village seemed the worst in the three years that we'd been allowed to go. Although, the year before, Cynthia and I hadn't gone. She hadn't wanted to walk down in the cold, so we'd made use of the deserted corridors instead. I tried not to think of those times because of Michelle, so I shifted my thoughts to my desire on getting to the village.

I could hear Andrew grumbling, but I couldn't hear exactly what it was he was saying. I was sure I heard something about mental though. We didn't say anything else until we reached the village. We headed straight for The Three Broomsticks.

"All this to keep you company," Andrew said.

"Yes well, go get a table and I'll order breakfast and some butterbeers," I told him.

I hurried over the front of order the usual breakfast, and a couple butterbeers. The inn wasn't filled yet, so it wasn't hard to get around like it usually was. I hurried back to Andrew was who was staring over at a group of third year girls. I was about to tell him that they were too young for him, but I stopped myself. Some of them might have been fourteen, like Michelle. Could I really talk?

So I handed him one of the mugs and then sat down. Andrew looked away from the girls and took a long drink.

"Can already feel it warming me up," Andrew said with a grin.

"The girls weren't doing it for you?" I asked as I glanced over at the table of third years.

Andrew shrugged. "Too young. Cute but I want someone to shag and I am not going to corrupt the innocents," and then he winked at me. "Unlike you."

"Not corrupted yet," I said with a smile.

"Does she still worry about that?" Andrew asked looking serious now.

"She hasn't brought it up for a while," I replied. "So I don't know. I think I've assured her that it's fine and I'm willing to wait."

"But you do miss it," Andrew said and I shrugged.

"I miss it, but it will be worth it," I said. "I know that probably sounds cheesy or like a line, but it's the truth. I'd rather wait for her. I honestly don't think Cynthia could have handled all this news about my mother or my parentage. Even if she did love me."

"I doubt it," Andrew said. "I felt squeamish when Minnie brought up the bathroom thing, if Cynthia was there for that-"

"She'd have flipped out," I said. "I'm trying to block that image from my mind again. I wish Minnie hadn't remembered that. I think she is feeling the same way, she has looked pale lately and Craig says she hasn't been eating as much and she usually eats a lot."

"It will take some time likely," Andrew said and his gaze fell on the girls again.

"If you want to ask one of them out, go ahead," I said. "Don't let me stop you."

"Too young," he said and then a group of fifth years girl walked by shivering. "But they aren't."

I rolled my eyes just as our breakfast arrived. We ate in silence. The Inn still didn't fill up but I had a feeling that most people had taken a look out the castle windows and they'd decided not to leave it's warmth. I was already regretting coming out here.

"Wouldn't it be something if Michelle didn't actually come out here?" Andrew asked as he too seemed to be taking in the almost vacant room.

I shrugged. "She would be smart then. I haven't seen Craig or Minnie around either."

"Probably taking advantage of the empty castle," Andrew laughed.

"Is it so empty though?" I asked. "Everyone else is probably smarter than us."

As the day went on, we noticed that it was mainly third years out and about and some teachers. I didn't see too many others and I did begin to wonder if Michelle came out after all.

"They should arrange flooing on days like today," Andrew said to me after we left Honey Dukes. "I'm ready to go. Are you?"

I glanced around. Michelle wasn't around but I was frozen and I didn't have my message parchment with me. So I just nodded. It seemed like a waste of a day. I was glad that Andrew didn't complain much or that he'd been willing to accompany me. I didn't think many would. He was still one of my best friends no matter what. Thankfully, the wind wasn't as bad on the way back.

"So chess game in the common room or are you going to look for the cute neighbour girl?"

"Chess game," I said with a sigh. "I'll see her later."

In a way, I was a little annoyed but I couldn't be too upset with her. She might have written to tell me she wasn't going but since I didn't have my parchment with me, I couldn't check. I should have brought it just in case. If she was there though, why hadn't she sought me out? We'd looked for her but we couldn't find her.

"After I change of course," I added.

I figured a hot shower was in order. I had to hand it to Andrew, he'd ignored all the girls he'd been paying attention to just to keep me company when didn't even have to go. When I was showered and changed, I grabbed my parchment from my night side table and opened it. There were messages from my various friends letting me know they weren't going, but none at all from Michelle.

I wrote to her.

She wrote back.

Now I was angry. I didn't respond back to her. It would be one thing if she'd written and I'd missed it, but she hadn't told me at all. Wasn't it common courtesy to tell each other? I rolled up my parchment and shoved it in my pocket. I wasn't going to respond back to her. We'd talked the night before saying we'd both go. If she'd changed her mind, she should have told me.

I went back down to the common room where Andrew was setting up our chess game. He'd showered and changed quickly, if he had at all that is. He looked warmer however.

"You look pissed," Andrew said once I sat down.

"Girlfriend issues," I said with a sigh. "Not a big deal."

"She didn't go but didn't tell you?" Andrew guessed.

"Yup," I sighed. "I'm not going to think about it just now. I'll confront her tomorrow on the train."

"You're not going to write back to her?" Andrew asked as his eyes widened.

"Nope," I said.

"First fight of the relationship," Andrew said and then whistled.

Thankfully, he decided not to say anything else about it. He just started the game.

I didn't see Michelle around the next day at breakfast, and she didn't send me anymore messages. I wondered if she knew I was angry or maybe she was upset because I didn't respond back. I didn't see Alyssa or Clarissa around anywhere either, so I couldn't ask them. Craig and Minnie were going to meet us in our compartment, so it was just Andrew and me again.

"Might as well go," Andrew said. "She'll come around. Besides, you're the one angry with her. She has no reason to be angry with you. Don't wait around on her."

I knew he had a point. When I fought with Cynthia, and it was her in the wrong, I'd always made her come to me. So I got up once I had my fill and we headed out to meet the carriages together. She would have to come find me on the train if she wanted to talk.

I didn't see Michelle the entire train ride home. I tried not to brood too much about it. I hated being the one who always had the problems and I didn't want to put a damper on the festive mood either. So I joined in on everyone talking and laughing. As much as I loved Michelle, I wondered if I'd rushed into having a girlfriend. I watched Andrew who never seemed to have a care in the world.

"You okay?" Minnie whispered to me and I nodded. "You sure?"

"I'm sure," I muttered back. "And even if I weren't, I don't want to talk about it right now. Everyone is having fun. It can wait."

Minnie glanced at me with concern but then smiled and nodded. I felt something bounce off my head and glanced up to see that it was a rolled up piece of parchment. I grabbed it and looked around for the source. From the looks of it, it was either Colin or Marco who had thrown it. They both had huge grins on their faces.

"You're too quiet Hoofer," Colin said and I tossed the ball at him figuring he was the source.

"Just thinking about Christmas and New Years. I think we're in for a show for New Years this year. Ashley wrote to me last night and told me they managed to get a lot more fireworks this year than usual."

"I still say something is going on," Andrew said. "Some big celebration because Jaime will be there for Christmas and now they're making a big deal out of New Years?"

"I think New Years is because it's twenty years since they all started going," I said. "They did a big celebration reunion thing because it was twenty years since they'd all met, but it wasn't until they're second year that New Years became a big thing. Ashley only invited Ellen, Ben and Michael in their first year. I don't think anything big is going on but I guess I'll find out when I go home."

"And we'll be able to drink this year," Marco said. "Openly I mean."

Craig laughed. "I was going to say. We've done it before, and I am sure they even knew we did it before. They got quite protective at your birthday though."

"Well, they're in charge," I said. "A bunch of drunk kids swimming? They're easy-going, but they know they have to be responsible too. Pretty sure that they don't want to explain to someone's parents that their kid drowned just because they weren't paying attention. I'm surprised everyone actually behaved. Our class isn't usually known for that."

"Yeah but most people respect your parents," Craig said. "There is a difference between being stupid at school and at your place. Are you inviting a bunch of people?"

"No, just the usual crowd," I said. "Maybe next year."

"Think you'll have made it up with the beautiful neighbour girl by then? You won't want to miss out on your New Years kiss," Craig continued with a smirk.

"Wait, you and Michelle are fighting?" Cassidy asked. "Why didn't you say?"

"I didn't want to put a damper on our holidays and I don't know if we are fighting. I am angry with her but maybe she knows it and she is just keeping her distance," I replied.

"We're your friends," Marco said.

"But I'm the one who always has the problems," I sighed. "From my mother to Cynthia to now Michelle. I just wanted for once to have fun. I'm sure things will work themselves out with Michelle. She's sweet enough that I think they will. We live next door to each other, so we'll talk later."

"But you shouldn't be afraid to bring up your problems with your friends," Colin told me. "We don't care. The fact that we're still here after all these years tells you something."

"I know all that," I answered. "But I also like to be able to relax with you lot too, and really, this problem with Michelle is actually tame compared to everything else. All that happened was she didn't bother to tell me she wasn't going to Hogsmeade yesterday, so we went for no reason yesterday. I was annoyed and so I didn't write back to her. I've noticed she has been avoiding me since. So I'm assuming she knows I am angry with her. Maybe she is giving me space. For now, I'd rather just talk about anything but that. There is no point in dwelling on it."

I think I said it firmly enough that they all got it. I appreciated they all wanted to be there for me, but I was just tired of always being the one who had to be comforted all the time. Why couldn't we comfort someone else for a change? I was just tired of it all, and I felt it still all went back to mum. I didn't want to think about her though, so I just smiled and then asked them what else they were doing besides Christmas activities or News Years stuff.

I met Ben, Ashley, and Alyssa out on the platform. I was assuming they left the twins and Hailey at home then. I knew it was stormy though, so they probably didn't want to drive out here. I glanced around the platform to see if I could see Ellen, Keith or the girls but I didn't see them anywhere.

"Ready to go?" Ben asked as he held an arm out to me.

"Yes," I answered.

Perhaps Michelle and Clarissa flooed home for some reason. I'd have to ask Alyssa when we reached home. She was holding Ashley's arm. She looked a bit moody, and I wondered why that was. Perhaps we could have a little sister and big brother talk later. I couldn't dwell on it much longer because Ben spun on the spot, and I was going through that suffocating feeling. Moments later, we were in our living-room. I felt comforted instantly.

A second later, Hailey had run over and leapt into my arms. She had grown since the last time I'd seen her which I was glad about. I lifted her up and hugged her tightly.

"I missed you so much," she told me.

"I missed you too," I said setting her on her feet. "I've noticed you've grown since September."

"An inch and a half!" She said excitedly before she rushed over to hug Alyssa who hugged her back. The boys ran over to hug me. They too had grown. It was amazing how much could change in just four months.

"You've grown too," Ashley said to Alyssa. "You're going to be so tall like your father."

"I know," Alyssa said but she didn't look too happy.

"Let's take our stuff upstairs," I said to her and I gave her a significant look. "We'll be back in a moment," I said to Ashley and Ben. I hoped the kids took that hint too.

"We have a snack spread out in the kitchen," Hailey informed us. "So don't take too long."

"We won't," Alyssa said.

I was surprised nobody pried for once. Ashley and Ben were exchanging looks, but that was it. No one said anything as we headed out of the living-room to go upstairs, and thankfully the kids didn't follow us either. I had a feeling that Alyssa didn't want to talk about whatever it was in front of her parents or the kids. So I waited until we were climbing the stairs.

"Everything okay?" I asked her as we walked up the steps.

"You're not the only one having a problem with the Wicks-Perenge girls," Alyssa replied.

"So Michelle does know I am angry with her then," I said. "She never wrote back."

"Yes, she knows you well enough to know you'd never ignore her," Alyssa said with a faint smile. "It caused a bit of fight with Clarissa and me too, but that's not unusual anyway. It's been drama with her since the beginning of the school year this year."

"Why?" I asked. "What exactly happened?"

Instead of going to my room, I left my trunk in the hall and followed Alyssa into hers. She dragged her trunk over to her bed and then flopped down on her bed.

"Well, Michelle started to get paranoid because you didn't write back, so I asked what happened. She explained that she thought you must have been angry with her because you didn't write back but she figured you'd assume she didn't go to Hogsmeade. Clarissa stood up for her, but I took your side because it was rather rude of her not to tell you she wasn't going so it caused a fight. The funny thing is, even Michelle's friends agree with me that she was rude, so she's fighting with them too. So it was Clarissa and Michelle against everyone else. So they just sat on their own," Alyssa said. "Everyone says the Hoofer's have tempers but those two can have them too. They can go from incredibly sweet to demons in less than a second."

"I haven't really witnessed that with Michelle yet," I said with a shrug. "But maybe I should have just told her I was angry with her. I didn't want to cause a fight with you and Clarissa."

"She should have told you that she wasn't going. And it doesn't take much these days to upset Clarissa. I don't know what's going on with her. We promised at the beginning of the year that we'd talk more after we had a fight, but she still gets moody," Alyssa said. "It's been so hard lately and Richard and Mackenzie are sick of it too. We're trying to understand her but if she won't open up to us, then we can't help her. She just spends all her time flirting with the boys and it makes me worry. I know Michelle has been worried too."

"So when we finally do talk, am I going to have a demon after me?" I asked her.

"Maybe," Alyssa said. "But Hayden, don't get all apologetic. Michelle is in the wrong here, not you. She'll probably realize it too. I think she's just stressed with all the homework she has to do."

"And probably all my problems too," I said.

"No, she finds them a relief because she can focus on helping you rather than her own stuff," Alyssa replied. "Don't ever be afraid to talk about that stuff Hayden. Everything you've found out… well, it would be hard on anyone. Trust me, Michelle doesn't mind any of that stuff. I mean, this fight is stupid, but believe me, any stress she has doesn't have to do with

"

"I wish she'd told me she was stressed," I said as I ran a hand through my hair. "Anyway, I'll wait on all that. What else is bothering you? It can't just be the Clarissa drama. You looked upset when Ashley said you grew."

"I just wish I could stop growing for a year or two," Alyssa replied. "I'm the tallest in the second year Hayden. And I am a girl! I feel so self-conscious about it."

"Someday the rest of your classmates will catch up," I told her. "I know it's hard but you look fine and you get prettier everyday. All of you are at the age where you're going to get growth spurts. The boys will suddenly start growing too. I think next year will be the year they will all start. It happened in my year. Remember how much I grew?"

"But you're a boy," Alyssa said. "It's different with boys."

"I really don't think you should worry, but Alyssa, there is a question I need to ask before we go down and we should soon," I added as I quickly checked my watch. I knew our family was waiting impatiently for us.

"About what?" She asked dully.

"Andrew," I said. "Michelle and Minnie told me not to ask you, but I need to know. Do you have a crush on Andrew?"

"I'm twelve," she replied. "Crushes will come and go. I just happen to notice how cute he is but I know he is too old. You have nothing to worry about Hayden, and besides, there is a cute boy in the third year I have my eye on. Michelle promised she wouldn't tell you."

"She didn't. Craig noticed and he asked me and I asked her. She just told me to leave you alone about it," I said. "You're my little sister though, and I can't help but worry. He sleeps around and you are just twelve."

"Hayden, girls get crushes on older blokes all the time but I am not going to go for a sixteen-year-old. I mean, look at all the girls who fawn over Professor Martin," she continued. "Or Professor Longbottom. I like the boy in third year more. Trust me, you have nothing to worry about."

She said the words, but I wasn't sure if I believed her or not. She couldn't look at me directly as she spoke, but for now, I decided to take her word for it.

"We should go down," she continued. "You know they're all waiting."

I didn't see Michelle until the next day when her family came over. I had a feeling that both girls were reluctant to come over. We were all sitting at the kitchen island when they all came in. I assumed Ashley and Ben must have told them it was okay to walk in. Elliot immediately hurried over to Hailey who grinned at him.

"Lets go to the playroom," she told him as she hopped off her chair. The two of them ran from the room with Mickey following close behind.

Clarissa and Alyssa looked as if they were trying their best not to look at each other. However, I looked directly at Michelle who was staring back. She flushed the moment our eyes met. I climbed off my stool and walked over to her. I knew we wouldn't be allowed to go upstairs anymore, so I beckoned her to follow me into the living-room. I wondered if she actually would, so I paused at the door and waited. She hesitated a moment and then followed me.

"Don't send anyone to spy on us," I called as we left the kitchen.

I walked directly over to the love seat and then sat down. I patted the spot beside me when Michelle didn't follow. She was busy hugging herself as she stared at me. I couldn't remember the last time we had trouble talking to each other.

"We can't keep avoiding each other," I told her when she didn't move.

"I know," she said softly before she walked over. "You made me feel bad when you didn't respond back Hayden."

"You made me feel bad when I found out that you didn't bother to tell me you weren't going," I retorted. "You should have said something. Andrew and I went for

That is the only reason I went because the night before you told me that you were going. Michelle, this is so unlike you. You've always been courteous when it comes to things like that."

"Well, I just assumed you wouldn't want to go," she said. "We woke up and saw how bad it was. We decided to stay in the common room."

"And you should have told me. I'd have done that for you," I said.

"I just don't think it's that big of a deal," Michelle said.

"And yet I am in the wrong for not replying back to you?" I asked with irritation now. "How is one okay and not the other Michelle? What is going on? You're not being yourself."

"Maybe I am," she said. "And it is different Hayden. I assumed you wouldn't go but then when you wrote me, you never wrote back and it worried me. You've never left me hanging like that. Not since we were kids. You could have at least told me that you were angry with me about that."

"And you could have told me that you weren't going to Hogsmeade," I retorted. "I don't understand how you don't see the wrong in what you did, and now you're trying to guilt trip me for being upset with you."

"No, I am guilt tripping you for not writing back because you should feel guilty about that!" She said furiously. "You should have told me you were upset."

"And you should know that it's common courtesy to tell someone that you aren't going to meet them!" I argued. "If I'd done that to you, you'd be upset Michelle. Don't say you wouldn't. The fact that you are upset that I didn't write back tells me that you would."

"I have nothing to feel guilty over," she said. "And there is no point in continuing this discussion. We obviously don't see eye to eye on it. You're not going to feel guilty about this so whatever."

"So what are you suggesting then?" I asked.

"I don't know," she said.

"Well, I don't know either," I replied with a sigh.

I was realizing that this was probably the dumbest fight I'd ever had though, and I'd had my fair share of them. I loved Michelle, but she was being so petty at the moment, and it just didn't seem like her. Maybe I didn't know her as well as I'd thought.

"Look, I talked to Clarissa about this-" Michelle began.

"Well, that makes sense then," I interrupted. "No wonder you don't sound like yourself. You're really going to listen to her about this?"

"And what is that supposed to mean?" Michelle demanded.

"Some of Clarissa's actions are questionable," I said. "I've heard stories."

"Oh and Alyssa's are?" Michelle asked.

"Alyssa has nothing to do with this," I said.

"You probably talked to her about this," Michelle stated.

"I still don't see what your point is," I said.

"The things she did in the summer? If you're going to bring up Clarissa's behaviour than I am going to bring up Alyssa's," she said.

"Alyssa doesn't do the things Clarissa does," I said angrily. "And you know she is sorry about all that. This isn't about our sisters, but I just can't believe you'd take Clarissa's advice-"

"If you can take Alyssa's then I can take Clarissa's!" Michelle said just as angrily as she stood up. "You know what, forget it Hayden. You don't want to talk about this in a civilized manner, so I am done."

"You're done?" I asked.

"We're done," she replied and then turned and stalked off to the kitchen where I heard her shout: "I am going back home!" And then Clarissa's voice: "Me too then!"

I just stared after her in shock. Maybe this was why I shouldn't have picked a fourteen-year-old as a girlfriend. She was just too immature for me. She'd been great up until this moment, but then hadn't Cynthia as well? I took a deep breath and then stood up to go upstairs. Why, why did I have such a bizarre and troubled life?

Alyssa was the only one who knew about our break up. She asked me about it shortly after the girls left. She agreed with me that something seemed off by Michelle's reaction, but she couldn't explain why besides the fact that Michelle was stressed by school work, but I wondered if there was more to it than that.

I was sure Ashley and Ben wanted to know what had happened between us. They couldn't have missed the fact that Michelle had taken off angrily, but they didn't pry either which surprised me. I wondered if it had to do with the revelation about my real father which they hadn't brought up yet. I wondered why that was. I hoped it wasn't from pity because they knew how I felt about that.

They were having some Christmas Eve party (though it wasn't quite Christmas Eve yet) the next day. It was some present exchange with their friends though I didn't think Brad was one of them. I stayed upstairs all day nevertheless. I did my best to spend time with the twins and Hailey when they asked. I didn't want anyone to know anything was wrong, so I couldn't stay in my room to brood but I was relieved when it was time for them to go to bed. I too could crawl into bed.

I was surprised to actually fall asleep right away, but I was even more surprised to be woken up when someone crawled into my bed. Waking up, thinking it was Hailey or Cameron, I stared shocked into my beautiful ex-girlfriends eyes.

"Michelle," I asked and I leaned forward to turn on my light. "What are you- am I dreaming?"

"If you are than I am too," she said as she snuggled close to me. "I'm sorry Hayden. I've been thinking about it all since yesterday. I couldn't sleep, so I flooed over."

"How did you get around the security?" I asked.

The security Ben had in place on the floo had once caught me sneaking back in after I'd gone to Diagon Alley. How had she gotten around that? I still wasn't convinced that I wasn't dreaming. I'd never expected to have Michelle in my bed, and yet she was laying under the covers with me.

"Maybe they didn't put it back on after the party," Michelle suggested. "I was hoping for that so I decided to try my luck. I knew I could either get in big trouble for sneaking over, or I could get away with it."

"We could still get in trouble for this if they find out you're here in my bed," I said.

"I had to take that chance," Michelle said. "I was so horrible to you. I know you and everyone else are right that I should have told you I wasn't going. I don't know… I just got, defensive and hurt I guess when you didn't write back. Then I talked to Clarissa and she basically told me what I wanted to hear and the others told me what I didn't, and so I just listened to her. And then yesterday, I just got defensive about her because she's my sister. I know she's in the wrong, but it's hard for me not to defend her. It wasn't until about an hour later that I regretted it all and I realized I was being irrational about it."

"I knew it wasn't you," I replied. "But there must be more to it than you just being defensive about the situation and your sister. You were over the top Michelle."

"I'm stressed out too," she said with a sigh. "School work, the usual Hogwarts drama and all this stuff with my sister. I don't know what it is she's up to, but I hear stories, probably the same ones you hear. Alyssa isn't much help because she herself doesn't know. It's why I was frustrated about her yesterday. It's not Alyssa I'm upset with but in the past I could always count on her. Clarissa isn't honest with her or the others so I don't know what to believe. You know Hogwarts and its rumours."

"Believe me I know," I said. "Not to mention my problems."

"No," Michelle said quickly. "It's nothing to do with your problems at all. Dealing with someone else's problems actually helps, not that I want to have to use your problems as a crutch, but I think about mine less when I am helping you with yours."

"But you should talk to me," I said. "I talk to you. It works both ways and-"

I paused though. I thought I heard movement in the hall and I glanced at Michelle in alarm. Everyone had their own bathrooms. Why would someone be up at this time? We stared at each other with wide eyes, both holding our breaths.

"Okay," I whispered. "We need to get you downstairs and home. We'll talk more about this later. If we're caught, you'll never be allowed here again. We would probably be forbidden to see each other!"

"Too bad you couldn't apparate yet," Michelle said with a smirk. "We'll have to try that out someday when you can though."

I grinned back at her and then climbed out of bed. Michelle followed and we both moved quietly over to my door. Once we reached it, I opened it slowly and glanced out. The halls looked deserted. Ashley's and Ben's door was closed. If it was one of them getting up for a snack or a drink, they'd have left it open. I figured I could take my chance with one of the kids over my parents. The kids would always cover for me.

"Coast is clear," I whispered and we stepped out.

We tip toed along the hall and then down the steps. I hoped so much one of our guests hadn't stayed over. If one of them had stayed over, we'd be in trouble for sure. They'd tell our parents. They were cool, but not that cool. All we needed to do was reach the fireplace in the living-room. I'd never even had to deal with this when I was dating Cynthia. Just as we reached the living-room, a figure stepped into view and the two of us gasped.

"Well, well, well, what are you naughty kids up to?"

I sighed with relief. It was just Richard. I wondered if he was fighting with his mum again. I figured they would have made up considering the events at the train station.

"Shh!" I said. "And please watch the doors. Michelle, hurry and go!"

"It's not what you think," Michelle said quickly as she rushed over to the fireplace.

"I'll see you tomorrow," I whispered as she hurried away. I really hoped nobody would hear anything as she threw some floo powder into the dying flames. The fireplace lit up. She called out her destination and then stepped in. I sighed with relief when she disappeared.

"So what was I covering up?" Richard asked as he walked over to me. "Better hope the security charms aren't up."

"We got in a fight, and she snuck in to talk to me," I said. "What are you doing here?"

"Fight with mum as usual," Richard said.

"But I thought after September-" I began.

"Me too, but apparently not," he interrupted as lights turned on.

We both looked over to see Ben rushing into the living-room with his wand out.

"What is going on? Who used the floo?" He demanded.

"Me," Richard replied. "I went home but I came back. I thought maybe I'd want to talk to mum but I changed my mind. Why didn't it notice me come back? Why did it only notice me leave?"

Ben frowned. "Maybe I didn't put that back up," but he eyed us suspiciously. "Go upstairs, both of you. I don't know if I believe your story, but I'll take your word for it. It's late and I'm tired."

"I wouldn't lie," Richard replied with a shrug. "Hayden heard me and came down. I thought I could deal with mum, but once I got home I changed my mind. Besides, I knew you lot would wonder where I went."

"You still haven't told me what happened," I said to him. "She seemed more easy-going earlier, even if I was just down here briefly."

"It's always going to take her time," Ben said. "I still don't know if I believe you, but you've never lied to me before. I don't know what else you could have been doing," he added before glancing at me.

"I've been here all night," I said. "Besides, I am seventeen," I reminded him. "Even if I had left, you said I don't have a curfew anymore so I wouldn't need to sneak around since I wouldn't be doing anything wrong."

"I know but-" Ben began but then shook his head. "I'm too tired for this. The boys had us up too earlier. I don't know why. I'll believe you. If you two can keep it down, you might as well stay but remember, I don't like being lied to."

"We know," I said. "I'm sorry we woke you."

"Well, it's more that I am," Richard said. "I'm just tired of everything with mum. Things were good and now they aren't. I think I want a snack. Hayden, want one?"

"Yes sure," I said before glancing at Ben again.

He just sighed and then turned and left. I wondered if he knew more than he let on. Perhaps he knew that it was Michelle or someone else leaving besides Richard. We waited until he left the room before we headed to the kitchen. The lights turned on and Richard went straight for the fridge where he pulled out one of Ashley's fruit platters. I was assuming it was made from earlier. I made my way over to the Island.

"So?" Richard asked as he set the platter in front of me. He climbed up on one of the stools.

"She came over to apologize," and I explained everything that had happened.

"But no make up sex?" Richard asked with a smirk.

"She's too young for that still," I said. "Believe me I'd love… well, anyway, we just talked."

As I said that, I realized that we hadn't even kissed.

"Well, probably dealing with Clarissa has made her over emotional lately. It's been the same with us," Richard said. "I'm just glad Mackenzie and me can get a break from it all being in Ravenclaw. And I have the blokes. Alyssa is taking most of the pressure and lately Clarissa has been- well, maybe I should leave it to Alyssa to tell you."

"No, I'd like to know," I said. "She can tell me too if she wants, but I'd like to know as well."

"Well, I think Clarissa has always been a bit jealous that we all have money," Richard said. "But she's never really let it get it to her too much. I mean, it's not as if her family is poor. We all do well, but Uncle Ben and Aunt Ashley have managed to do better than all of the Hoofers of course, so Clarissa takes it out on Alyssa the most. You know she's always tried to be a bit modest with the money thing. All of you have, even William though he can be a bit show offy, but he usually does it out of spite. Anyway, she feels jealous with her three best friends being wealthy, and then Alyssa is the most wealthy and they're together all the time."

"Makes sense I guess," I said. "I'm surprised we haven't run into that problem sooner. None of my friends have ever been resentful and even the people who don't like me like Colleen and Becky don't really bring up my wealth too much."

"I think it's part of the reason why Charles is the way he is. I mean, he obviously enjoys it but I think he just wants to fight off any gold diggers. You know, if girls think he is like that, they will stay away," Richard said. "He's so good at making Aunt Brianne and Uncle Nick think he's such a good boy. I often wonder how Aunt Brianne would react if they knew."

"I think they, or at least Nick has somewhat of an idea," I replied. "But probably not the full details. I've heard some of the adults talk about it. I doubt he knows he has shagged already but I've heard Barry mention his snogging around the castle. Anyway, girls will just want him more because they'll want to be the one to change him. At times, Andrew runs into that situation and his family doesn't have a lot of money."

"Yeah I guess you have a point there," Richard replied. "And I think Clarissa is going to be the female version of those two to be honest."

"I've heard," I said. "I try not to listen because she's like another little sister to me. Not as close, but I watched all of you grow up and Mackenzie and Clarissa feel like my cousins."

"Well, Mackenzie is your cousin," Richard reminded me. "I try to ignore them too because it makes me want to hex certain blokes but it also just drives me mad that she won't listen. I think she's going to do something stupid like shag, and we're just second years. She's been saying thirteen is grown up enough, and when Mackenzie gets angry with her about it, she says she is joking, but I don't think she is."

"Has she turned thirteen already or is she going to?" I asked. I couldn't remember if she'd been born the end or the beginning of December.

"She's thirteen already," Richard. "Just turned thirteen not too long ago. And of course Mackenzie is too, and she knows we aren't old enough. So it's no wonder Michelle went off the deep end. It was apparently drama in the Hufflepuff Common Room before we left."

"I just wish she'd tell me more," I sighed. "I unload all my problems on her, but she doesn't talk to me and I often think it's because of mine."

"I doubt it. Michelle has never been open," Richard said. "What's going on with that? Are you going to talk to that Brad bloke or no?"

"They haven't brought it up yet. Maybe they're waiting for Christmas to go by," I said. "I think I will talk to him. It's not his fault after all. It's mum's fault."

"But he could have stepped up," Richard said.

"But he wasn't sure if it was him. She could have slept with other wizards for all he knew, and he was fourteen. She was the adult, and he was the child. Imagine that happening to you. I don't know how I'd react. I don't think I'd run, but that's because of what I've been through, but Brad was younger."

"I suppose you have a point there," Richard said. "I can't even imagine… not that I'd go for an older woman no matter how hot she is. I doubt I'll even shag anytime soon. I want to wait until I'm seventeen."

"Not to burst your bubble, but a lot of people say that but don't," I said. "I said the same but once you get a girlfriend, things can change. I hope you're smart enough to wait. I mean, now that I'm with Michelle I think it might be easier because I could never dream of pressuring her but if you're with someone the same age, it might be harder."

"I know," Richard said. "Dad and I talked about that. There's nothing wrong with it as long as you're careful, but so many people are stupid about it and I don't want to be like that. Dad says a lot of blokes think with the wrong head, and look at Charles or Andrew or even some of the adults in our lives like Jared. And Clarissa might do it too early."

"And Alyssa can't get through to her this time," I stated. "Usually she can, and if she can't then who can?"

"That's what we're worried about," Richard said with a sigh. "Alyssa has always been Clarissa's conscious, just like Cameron has always been William's. It would be the same if William stopped listening to you, me, or Cameron. It would be mayhem."

"I hate to say it, but you might have to talk to Keith and Ellen," I told him. "None of us like ratting each other out, but if it gets worse, you might have to do that."

"We've talked about that. We're hoping it's a last resort," Richard replied. "Maybe she just needs to get it out of her system. She did tell us that she wants to rebel, so maybe once she gets it out of her system, she'll go back to the old Clarissa."

"But you don't believe that," I stated and Richard shrugged.

"Well, at least you were able to make up with Michelle," he said. "At least you have one problem solved, and maybe things will work out with Brad too."

"I just want it all to go away," I told him. "I wish I had a boring life."

Richard laughed. "Hayden, someday you're going to have a boring life working at Antodote research. You won't have a life, and you'll crave your drama filled life at Hogwarts."

"No I won't," I said laughing.

I stood up.

"I'm going to bed. Are you staying up a bit longer?"

Richard nodded. "I'm still hungry. I'll see you tomorrow. Have fun dreaming about beautiful Michelle."

I grinned at him. It was exactly what I was going to do.

It wasn't until a couple days after Christmas when Brad finally came over. The days after making up Michelle was fun filled days. I spent the time hanging out with not only my siblings but the cousins and the kids of family friends. Clarissa was the only one who really hung back. She appeared to have made up with Richard, Mackenzie and Alyssa, but I thought it seemed a bit fake.

The boys came over as well, and I could tell Craig seemed tense with the family Christmas, but everyone welcomed him. I wasn't too surprised as they'd known him since he was a little boy. I could sense that Barry seemed a little uneasy about him, but I had a feeling that part of it was an act as well. After all, it was his little girl in a serious relationship.

Andrew and I hung back and laughed at Craig who was all formal. I was just glad it wasn't me. I'd been through it before, and likely would again, but for at least one day, I could relax. I used those day to be able to act my age as Ben and Ashley called it for once. Michelle was quite clingy, and I wondered if it was because of our fight.

One morning, after Ben and Ashley began putting some of the Christmas decorations away, they turned to me. I was busy eating cereal with my wand while I read through a Potions essay, making corrections when I noticed mistakes. I noticed the serious expressions on their faces, and I wondered if it was because I was doing magic. I was ready to tell them that I was seventeen now.

"Hayden, Brad is going to be here this afternoon," Ashley said instead. "I'm sorry to just tell you today, but we only just found out last night after you lot went to bed."

"We've sent all the kids away for the day," Ben continued. "We'd like it to be one on one for you. We didn't tell them why, you can later if you'd like."

"We just didn't want them to ask too many questions, and I am sure Alyssa would insist on staying," Ashley added.

"I'm sure she would have," I agreed.

And I was glad they did it this way. I would answer any questions all three of them had, but I wanted to see my real father one on one without any interruptions. And now I knew that Alyssa meant well, I just didn't want her or anyone else there. I hoped my parents understood that as well. I'm sure they did.

"And we'll stay out of the way too," Ben told me. "But we're just a written parchment away."

"I know, and thank you," I said. "What time exactly is he coming then?"

"Around one," Ben said.

I nodded and then glanced down at my Potions essay. It was hard to concentrate now. In just a few hours, Brad and I would be meeting each other as father and son for the first time. I'd known the man since I was a small boy. He was someone I'd never really given too much thought to. He was just another friend of my parents, but he'd never been as dominant as Michael, Ellen, Jared, or even Hank and Stan.

I had a feeling Ashley was nervous too. She'd promised to stay away, but she made us a big snack platter, despite the fact that we already ate. None of it was even the healthy stuff she normally prepared either. She set it down on the coffee table in the living-room, telling me that it would be more comfortable for us to talk there instead of anywhere else in the house.

"We'll be in the kitchen," Ashley told me.

"I know," I told her with a smile.

They were even letting me wait for Brad to show up, so I could answer the door and greet him. It showed how much they saw me as a grown up. In the past, they would have at least talked to Brad or anyone else first. Besides Brad telling them he was coming over, they were letting me take it over from that moment on.

I sat on the couch feeling tense as one approached, and then I heard a loud knocking on the door. Nervously, I stood up, and walked out into the foyer and over to the big double doors. I hesitated, and then opened them. There on our front porch stood my real father. For the first time in seventeen years, we were were meeting as father and son.

"Hi Hayden," he said, his voice shaking. So he was just as nervous.

"Come on in," I told him stepping back. "We can sit in the living-room. Ashley and Ben are letting us talk on our own."

"Good, good," Brad said and he looked around the foyer as if he were looking at it for the first time.

He took a good look at our staircase as we went through. I wondered what he was thinking as I lead him into the living-room. He'd seen our house so many times. He'd slept over here enough times after their parties. Perhaps he was trying to comfort himself by seeing the luxuries I'd grown up with as Ben and Ashley's child instead of his or Rachel's.

I walked over to one of the couches and sat down. Brad followed and took a seat beside me.

"I'm not proud of it," Brad told me once he sat down. "I should have spoken up years ago."

"But Ashley said that you weren't one hundred percent sure," I stated.

"No, I wasn't. Even back when Ashley told us that she was pregnant, I wasn't. I knew she slept with a lot of blokes, and I was fifteen by the time I found out. I mean, I wasn't an idiot, I knew at that age I could get a girl pregnant, but I didn't think the odds were that I was the father back then. I just thought it was some random blokes kid, and went on with my life. It wasn't until I found out that you were magical too that I wondered. But then I wondered if maybe Jared or one of the others slept with her. She used to flirt with all of us, and I hate to make excuses, or even talk about your mum this way, but she was a beautiful older woman giving us this attention," Brad said and then sighed.

"I don't blame you at all," I told Brad. "Even now I don't blame you. If I were single, and some beautiful older woman hit on me, I'd probably go for her. You were fourteen, and she took advantage."

"But I should have stepped up," Brad said. "As you grew older, I had my suspicions. In fact, you looked similar to me when I was a child, but I had so much guilt and I was ashamed. Hell, I was there that night when Ashley came over and told us that Rachel was abandoning you. I could have even said something then, but I didn't. I wanted to apparate over to your mum's to yell at her, but I froze. I saw you as a vulnerable little boy grieving because you'd lost your mum and you didn't know your father. I was a coward, Hayden. And I have my own children as well now too. Your half siblings, and when I think of what happened with me… and you, it just makes me feel worse."

"My mum is the one at fault though," I said. "She could have even spoken up. She shouldn't have been with you in the first place. She's the one who took advantage of a fourteen-year-old boy. If someone ever took advantage of a girl, like Michelle for example, everyone would be outraged. I want to confront her now."

"I've wanted to for years," Brad told me. "Especially the night she told Ashley that she was giving you up. I might not be guilty for falling for an older woman's advances, but I am guilty of not stepping up before now. You're better off with Ben and Ashley financially, but emotionally, I should have been tehre to reassure you. Let you know that at least one of your real parents cared about you. And Hayden, I want you to know I am here for you now. I want to be in your life. I'd like to get to know you better, as my son, when you're home for your holidays, and when you're done Hogwarts."

"I would too, but Ashley and Ben are my parents," I told him. "I'm staying with them. I don't my relationship with them to change."

"And that's understandable," he said. "I would never dream of taking you from the two people who have raised you into the fine young man you are. Not unless you wanted it. I just want us to at be friends, and I'd like to somehow make up the last seventeen years to you."

"Ashley said it's why you went to Beauxbatons," I said and Brad nodded.

"It was hard being around them and hearing them talk about this magical godson of Ashley's. I knew there was a chance that you were at least mine, if not some other blokes in our year. I'd hear her talking about how odd it was that Rachel met some random magical man who had another son out there. I knew that was a lie, or last least the chances were very slim for it to be true.I was curious about the Tri-Wizard Tournament and Beauxbatons, but your birth was my final decision. It wasn't until you were maybe four or five that I was more sure because you looked like me."

"You were in a difficult position," I said. "No one blames you. I don't. A lot of people can say what they would do in your position, but they truly don't know."

"Ashley's parents are blaming themselves. They trusted her around all of us," Brad told me. "I've spent a few hours with them, reassuring them, that they aren't at fault either."

And as I gazed at my real father, and saw the guilt in his eyes, I decided right there and then, I was going to talk to mum. I couldn't put it off anymore. She's hurt so many different people. It wasn't just me that she'd hurt, but my real father, my parents, Ashley's parents and likely the other people who were teens at the time. How could one person affect so many people?