The next few weeks went by without any more incidents and life seemed to return to normal. The semester was almost over and we were all busy cramming for exams so things were pretty busy, but thankfully in a good way.

Stefan had been worried that the four vampires that attacked me had told someone else about the blood, or had maybe even been working for someone else to find it. He was vigilant about keeping an eye and ear out but he had heard nothing.

Secretly I was hoping that it was all over, and that those four guys were the only ones that knew about it all. It could be possible, right? I mean, just because they were vampires doesn't mean they were smart.

Jeremy had been over quite a bit studying with me, and kept going on and on about how great Bonnie was and how much closer they've been lately. We always danced around the subject of us having sex, it was never brought up but it was always the elephant in the room. I was finally beginning to make myself believe that it was just a mistake on his end, and that he really did love Bonnie. And Bonnie was a good person, I liked her. I really didn't want to be jealous of her. But the sad fact is that I was jealous of her. I was still in love with Jeremy. And every day it just grew more and more. And it hurt worse and worse every day that he told me they were getting along so great, and that they had all of these plans for the summer. He didn't elaborate but he just seemed really excited about it all.

Through all of the jealousy, I was happy and excited for him too. He really did seem happy and I liked seeing him that way. He was still my best friend out of everyone. I was able to talk to him about a lot of things I couldn't talk to the others about. Being afraid and scared and lonely. He was able to relate too, with losing his parents. It was nice to have someone there to talk to. He even backed off from being so overprotective and just started acting like a friend. Always wanting to hear about how my day went or what plans I had for the weekend.

I had frequent visits from everyone else too, which they all said they just wanted to "hang out" but I knew when it came to Tyler and Matt it was more so to watch over me. Tyler finally stopped giving me those looks. I'm sure Caroline had plenty of conversations about that. But it was still awkward when he came over. We never had anything to talk about and he would just wind up watching tv.

Matt at least put some effort into conversations, though I didn't know much about football teams nor did I care. But it was sweet of him to try at least.

Exams finally came and went and it was a relief to have summer finally here. Just to sit and relax and not worry about projects and tests and memorizing everything. I was so ready to just hang out at the lake most of the summer and get a tan and just have fun.

I even agreed to have a dinner party at my house Friday after everyone's final exams were over with. It was more of a potluck, really. Everyone brought a dish and I cooked a few things as well.

The dinner went great and it seemed like everyone was having a great time and we were all relaxed. The memories of what had happened in the past few months were so far away from all of us, and we just wanted to have a good time.

Once the food was finished Caroline and Elena helped me clear the table and we all wound up hanging out in the living room. The subject turned to relationships and how to handle fights and make up sex. I felt a little out of the loop but I would chime in here or there.

"There's actually something I want to talk about, with relationships." Jeremy began "Bonnie and I have been through some rough times. And through it all she's always been there for me. I don't know where I would be without her now. She's made me the man I am today..." he pulled Bonnie close to him.

I was getting anxious all of a sudden. Where was this going?

"I don't think I could live another day without her. So what I'm getting to here is..." he knelt down on one knee and brought out a box "Will you marry me?"

Everyone gasped as they saw things unfold. Bonnie, through tears, said yes and pulled Jeremy up for a kiss.

What the hell just happened? Jeremy seriously proposed to Bonnie? In my house!? He's going to marry her?

I said nothing, I just stood there. My entire body went numb and the glass I was holding in my hand slid and shattered on the floor.

"I...I'm sorry. I'll clean it up." I replied

"Don't worry about it, I'll get it. I'm sure you girls want to celebrate anyway." Stefan said as he walked to the kitchen.

Jeremy walked over to me "Are you ok? You look a little pale."

"I-I'm fine! I'm great! I'm really happy for you guys! I just wish you would have told me!" I lied. Well...about the being happy part, anyway.

"I know. I wanted to. But I was afraid if I told anyone they'd talk me out of it. Say we were too young and it wouldn't work out."

Stefan came back into the room and managed to clean up the mess fairly quickly and I thanked him for it.

"Well...this calls for a celebration, then!" I put on a fake smile "I have some champagne in the fridge, i'll go get that and some glasses."

I barely made it to the kitchen by the time the tears started rolling down my face. I stood at the kitchen sink trying to compose myself. I couldn't believe it. He was getting married. Why did I never tell him how I felt? Would it have changed something? Maybe he would have told me he felt the same? Or maybe he would have said he didn't have those feelings for me. Either way I was mentally kicking myself for not saying anything to him. And now it was way too late.

"You ok?" I heard Damon's voice behind me.

I quickly wiped my tears away and fumbled to the cupboard above the sink where the glasses were.

"Yeah I'm fine. Just looking for the glasses."

"Liar." he replied.

"What did you just say to me?" I turned to face him.

"I said you're a liar. You fooled everyone else, but you didn't fool me."

"I don't know what you're talking about." I walked past him towards the fridge to grab the champagne.

"You think I don't know? You're in love with him. You've been in love with him. I'm not sure if it happened when you slept with him or before or after that...but it happened. And it's killing you, I can see it."

"Damon I can't...wait, how did you know I slept with him?"

"I happened to be walking past the room and heard you." he moved closer towards me "and judging by the noises you made, it sounded like you were having quite a good time."

I couldn't believe what he was saying. What the hell was his problem? He knew I was in love with Jeremy and was being this big of an asshole to me?

"You know what Damon, fuck you." was my response as I walked back into the living room with the glasses and champagne.

I went up to Bonnie and congratulated her. She looked so happy and I didn't want to bring her down. It wasn't her fault how I was feeling, and she'd always been great to me.

Everyone was so happy and celebrating, drinks were flowing. I made sure I ignored Damon for the rest of the night and avoided any possibility of being alone in a room with him.

They all left well past midnight. I cleaned up the living room and kitchen and then finally got a chance to sit down. Then it hit me, and the tears started flowing. I wished I could call someone, ANYONE, but I couldn't. No one knew about my feelings for Jeremy, except somehow Damon, and he was the last person I wanted to call and talk to after how he treated me.

I dragged myself up to my room and curled up in bed trying to control the sobs that were escaping me rapidly. I wound up crying myself to sleep that night, and instead of dreams I had nightmares where every one of my friends found their happy ending except for me. I grew old and died alone