The Diary

Chapter 11: A Beautiful Lie

A Beautiful Lie—30 Seconds to Mars.

I was waiting until I'd seen the movie to write this chapter, so I could be more detailed with the Volturi. (Yes, I know the movie is different from the book, but still, I thought it might help me imagine it.) And then I completely forgot about this, because I'm in this program called "IB" at school—and it sucks the very life out of you! So that's why this chapter took a while. I apologize.

You can thank Xrizz for getting me back on track.

Recap: Jacob doesn't know Renesmee is in Italy yet. Carlisle and Jasper are on their way, but they might happen to run into some complications. Alice, to answer some question, did not see the Volturi, she saw them disappear, much like when she saw Bella disappear in the beginning of Eclipse. Renesmee, unfortunately, was already in Italy for a while when Alice saw this. She saw it late because she hadn't really been looking for the Volturi in the first place.

So let's backtrack.

OOO

For some reason, I could feel the heat of the sun beating down on my back. It was hotter here, somehow, then back in America. The heat made me uncomfortable—I wasn't used to it, I didn't like it.

Hell would be a thousand times worse than this. A million times.

The colors were bright here. The greenery was lush, for it wasn't quite winter yet. The fall was still hot, still humid and muggy.

The whole effect was disorienting.

I glared against the sun—the bright sun—up at the gates of the castle. Amazing, I thought, how such a landmark, a tourist attraction, so easily concealed an entire coven. The guard, the wives, the human helpers, all surrounding the three royal brothers. I wondered once again why they had to take such a risk—although I suppose it really wasn't a risk—and why they couldn't just live in a forest like the rest of us, and not herd poor, unsuspecting tourists to their doom.

Speaking of, out of the corner of my eye, I saw a mass of jabbering, excited people walking toward the gates, lead by a tall, blonde woman with purple eyes. Heidi, my mind cataloged her, the vampire that herded all the humans. Carlisle had told me about her.

I tried to look nonchalant, to look like a mere local stopping to gaze at the beautiful architecture. But as they filtered in through the iron wrought gates, I tagged onto the tail of the group, head down, trying to look invisible.

I tried not to think about the symbolic finality of the gates slamming shut behind me. I tried not to look back, but take in my surroundings instead.

The courtyard was bare of people. But bright green grass swayed lazily in the welcome breeze. Trees whistled from the wind. It was all very serene, very beautiful, but I could hear beneath the surface. I could hear the light footsteps of the guard, hiding beneath the ground as the sun baked overhead. I could barely make out indents in the smooth lawn, where there were, no doubt, places a vampire could leap out to settle an unfortunate dispute.

If you wanted to escape, there was no way. They would catch you before you got halfway down the lawn.

I licked my lips nervously. What had I gotten myself into?

"This way, please" announced Heidi's perfect voice, sounding a little too cheery. I pursed my lips and made sure my feet kept moving. I tried to ignore the fear that was slowly building in my chest, the dread that settled there. "Stay together."

Yeah, I thought bitterly, nervously. Like that would help.

I'd never been tested. Vampire venom? Would it kill me, leave me in extreme pain, or have no effect on me at all? What if they somehow mistook me for a human? Was that even possible?

My thoughts were cut short as we reached the steps.

The doors opened like an old horror movie, minus the creaks and groans of the aged wood. I stepped through the threshold and onto the cool tile easily. I looked at the walls, at the art like the other people around me, but I didn't see anything. The numbness was starting to settle in. I cast one final glance at the outside world before the doors melded back together.

"Heidi!" someone exclaimed cheerfully from down the hall. The voice registered in my mind—a distant, distant memory.

Demetri.

He was all smiles, looking positively trustworthy. My eyes narrowed, because I knew. I knew how he worked and what he did. And I was well aware about what was going to happen to these people.

"Looks like you've brought quite the crowd." His red eyes, invisible to a mere human, raked over the horde of people before unsettlingly landing on me. They lingered there, and I stared back, unable to break his gaze, although I knew exactly what he was doing. He was cataloging the "flavor" of my mind into his own. He knew I was special.

I wondered again, just briefly, why I wanted to join such a hideous coven.

Heidi whispered something to him, tossing her blonde curls behind her, and smiled blindingly. She began to lead them forward, and I began to follow.

"Not her," Demetri said suddenly, just as I passed him. His cool hand landed on my shoulder, bringing me to a semi-painful stop. "It appears you've dragged in a loner. She's not part of the tour."

Heidi glanced at me, confused. The rest of the tour glared, angry that I'd stepped in on their "fun." I wanted to warn their ignorant selves. I wanted to scream at them to run.

"Heidi, my dear, please do be slightly more careful next time. We don't want to bring in strays." He emphasized this with a smile—more like a barring of his teeth—and nodded to Heidi, who looked annoyed. "Go on without me. Tell Aro that when he's finished—" Demetri paused, the smile turning into something slightly more sadistic "—showing these kind people the ways of the castle, that he's advised to summon me and the rat."

A rat? That was a new one. I'd lost count of how many times I'd been called a name on my travels. And ways of the castle? I felt sick.

It was only as they were leaving that I noticed the child. A little girl with bouncy, blonde curls. In her hands was a white teddy bear, something obviously very dear to her. My eyes widened as I watched her go, and I leapt for the door, but Demetri's grip on me stopped me cold. As soon as the last unsuspecting human disappeared around the next door, I twisted nimbly away from Demetri's iron grasp. He let me go, calculating, as I stalled for time.

"It's sick what you do," I hissed, unable to stop myself. The snarl broke out of my own throat, highlighting each word. "Lead unsuspecting men, women, and children to their untimely deaths. Sick."

He shrugged, unbothered. I doubted I was the first one to air my views. "We keep the useful ones."

"And that makes it all better." I narrowed my eyes. "Who are you all to say who lives and who dies? Or who is damned to a lifetime of monstrosity?"

He stared at me, sneering. "Cullen, correct? You're the half-breed. The breach of security." He smiled unsettlingly. "You've become quite the inspirational speaker."

"I'm the girl you tried to kill years ago."

"Right, of course. I remember you. Same mind. Same . . . taste."

My eyes dropped to the floor. Gross. I tried to reassess my approach. So far, I was the ratty half-breed and a breach of security. I questioned whether I would die today, or whether they would rather take me on. My gift wasn't as profound as my fathers, my aunt's, or my mother's. I could show people pretty pictures. What a talent.

I straightened out from my crouch and felt my chin jerk up. "Do not threaten me."

"I wasn't," I informed me icily. "You do realize you are making me miss my dinner. I do not take kindly to that, and you are half human. Do not be so quick to anger, dear child."

I gritted my teeth. "Then go feast, why don't you?"

"If I let a Cullen slip by, Aro will not be pleased. And Alec is busy."

Alec. My mind shied away from the thought of him.

"And Jane?" I found myself asking.

Demetri smiled again and looked to his right, towards the door.

"Here," she proclaimed in her childlike voice, standing straight, prim, and proper. Her hands were clasped in front of her, her toes pointed slightly out. She stared at me, full-red eyes half-lidded, and a bored expression on her face.

I waited, waited to see if she would send me to the floor with the unbearable pain I'd heard about.

"Relax, vermin," she told me, and then stared at Demetri with a trained eye. "I was wondering where you were."

Jane never goes anywhere without Demetri, I remembered my father saying.

"Assessing the imports," Demetri replied dryly. Resentment bubbled in my chest; I was an object, too.

She dismissed that and returned to me, the ratty half-breed import. "I can't use my gift on you until Aro tells me to, or unless you try and run away." She smiled, but it wasn't a sweet one. "Although I am interested. You were too well protected the last time we met."

I didn't respond. I was still trying to think around the fear that was starting to overtake my mind.

"Go," Jane told Demetri, a regal tone to her voice. "I'll watch the girl." Which was basically her way of saying, Don't worry. She's not getting away.

I hadn't noticed her in the chaos before, but now my gaze set on the human at the Welcoming desk as Demetri pushed past her. She glanced up, met my gaze, and hurriedly returned to her keyboard.

"She knows?" I asked Jane.

Jane raised a well-groomed eyebrow and smirked. "Of course."

Nothing more, nothing less. Two words. Somehow, this made me more nervous than I had been a moment ago. What did you say to an unstable vampire who relished in causing pain? Did you talk about the weather? I doubted this.

"Sit," Jane commanded.

I sat on the stiff, uncomfortable couch. You would assume old Vampires with a lot of money would invest in plush furniture. Apparently not.

"Why are you here?" She crossed her arms, staring down at me with a mixture of jealousy and anger.

A coolness settled over me. "These are things I want to discuss with Aro," I told her, and seeing her resulting fury, I added: "If you're there when I tell him, fine. But he needs to know first."

She couldn't argue with this. Her lip curled upwards and she fell gracefully into the chair opposite of mine.

And so I waited.

OOO

"Wait a second." Jake rubbed a hand over his stubble and actually took the phone away from his ear to stare at it for a long, disbelieving second. "I'm sorry, what did you say?"

"I said, they're on the way to—"

"I know what you said." Jake sighed, a heavy, loud sound of pure exhaustion. He'd been everywhere. The pack had been everywhere. He'd been absolutely sure that they'd find her somewhere. And why hadn't they? Another sigh, and then Jake mumbled, "Italy?"

Edward, on the other line, spoke through his teeth. "Yes."

"And, if I recall correctly, that's where the big, badass Vampires are, right? The really stupid, royal ones that wanted to kill her all that time ago?"

"Yes."

"And she went there?"

Through all of this, Jake had sounded unbelievably calm and approachable. He'd sounded rational. And he was really proud of that.

However, when Edward confirmed:

"Yes"

Jake just snapped.

His hand crushed around the phone, snapping it into a million little pieces. Seth, beside him, flinched and backed away.

"What is it?" the boy asked.

Jacob's voice was low and just teeming with anger. "She's going to get herself killed."

"Is someone taking care of it?" Seth pressed quietly.

"Jasper and Carlisle." Jake liked his lips and shook the plastic and circuitry of the phone out of his hands. "But they think she's already been there a while. Alice's vision was delayed, or something."

"Delayed?" Seth repeated. "Is that possible?"

"Yeah, apparently it is. We don't know how long she's been there, what she's done, or if we can get her back. We don't even know if she's dead."

"Why would she do this, of all things?" Seth asked. "I don't understand—that's not Ness."

Jake shook his head and bit his tongue. He tasted copper. "My only guess is that she has a death wish," he murmured.

Seth was quiet.

"And that," Jake finished soberly, "is what scares me the most."

OOO

"It's time."

I actually felt stiff from waiting so long. I asked myself how long it could possibly take to feed, and then shuddered from the images that filled my head. I wouldn't ask out loud. Demetri, now fed, was more polite as I walked in front of him, looking strangely amused with this whole situation.

I didn't bother to wonder what that meant.

Jane led me down the hall, over to the giant, imposing double doors of the main room, which stood ajar for my forthcoming. Inside, I could hear idle chitchat, people murmuring to one another. I could hear a laugh.

I hoped there weren't any bodies.

There were, of course.

As soon as I walked in, my eyes immediately snapped to the glassy ones of a victim, open-mouthed and gaping up at me. I screamed, scrambling back and away, but someone took hold of my arm and thrust me forward. Everywhere I looked, there they were, just lying there. They didn't even have nice, clean marks on their necks. No.

There were gashes, bloody tissue hanging, stringy, from the wounds.

I registered the young child I'd seen before, her arms at odd angles, her blood splattered, formerly snow-white teddy bear just out of reach of her limp fingers.

I fell to my knees, and then my hands, pressing my cheek against the cold tile. I didn't want to be here anymore. I wanted to go home. I couldn't deal with this. It was too much . . . too much. I screamed again, and it sounded like a lamenting song. I heaved and cried and balled my hands into fists, air hissing in through my teeth.

"Control her."

Someone's hand reached out for me, but I twisted away, snarling and snapping at them. In the red haze that was my vision, I couldn't see who they were; I only knew I hated them with every fiber of my being. "Get away!" I screeched, and fell, once again, into a heap by the girl's side. "Leave me alone!"

My breathing sounded ragged, harsh. I felt wet, warm tears seep from my eyes and coat my hands.

"How can you do this?" I whispered.

Even I was not this horrible. I would not resort to this destruction.

My hands clasped around the fluffy stuffed animal and brought it to my chest. It felt sad and lonely. Like me.

"It is what we do to survive, dear child." Aro stood from his throne and calmly stepped down. "We all need blood. Do you ever wonder if the animal you prey upon is just as helpless?"

He wouldn't know about the deer, would he? I screwed my eyes shut and clenched the bear tighter, a sob catching in my throat.

"I suppose you do." Aro's voice was too high, too friendly, for this kind of conversation. "You, my dear, are a strange child, indeed. Very strange."

"Kill her," Caius suggested with a wicked smile, "or read her mind and then kill her. Either way, please do not make me wait so long. I've never had a mutt's blood before."

Felix cleared his throat. "No, don't kill her."

Many in the room seemed surprised. I wasn't, somehow.

"Don't kill her," Felix said again, this time to Aro. He glanced at me and then away. "We don't need a war on our hands. It doesn't work to our advantage."

Jane smiled slowly. "You, Felix? Not excited for a war?"

"I said, it doesn't work to our advantage," he snarled at her. I sensed tension. "If we kill her, we've got the Cullens against us, and all their buddies, and their pets, and then some. Do we really want to do that right now?"

"No," Aro said simply. "I was never going to kill her. You can stop rushing to her rescue, Felix."

I wasn't sure whether I should thank him or not. I didn't feel so lucky at the moment.

"And yet," Aro mused, "that does leave us with the question of what to do with you. Well, Renesmee? What was your reasoning for coming here without a protective entourage?"

I took in a deep breath, looked down at the baleful teddy bear, and prepared myself for the worst.

OOO

Yes, yes, I know. "Cliffie!?" Don't worry. I'm working on the next chapter as you're reading this.

Again, I apologize for making you wait …. Months…… for this update. But if you were me, you'd understand. I'm sorry, though. And I hope you all don't hate me.

Jamie.