A/N: Guys, I feel like I've been doing a really good job writing and posting on this story, but I'm not getting enough reviews. In the past 3 days, I've posted 2 full sized chapters, but I'm still not getting enough response. So, I've seen a lot of people do this, and it can be annoying, but I've decided that I'm not posting another chapter till I get two reviews, and the number will go up after that. The reviews can be one word, the could be 140, good or bad, they are all VERY appreciated! Thanks to all the people that do support me. 3
Josh POV
I pray that Maya is ok. I just don't know how to face her. I feel like this is my fault. If she had trusted me, then this whole A thing wouldn't have gotten so bad, and she wouldn't have gotten hit by the car. Maybe if I had told her how I felt sooner, then she would've been able to trust me. I hear sturdy knocking on the door, and go to answer it.
I steadily walk to the door, only vaguely aware that I'm only in my shorts, and I'm shirtless. I get to the door and open it to find a exhausted and heavy-breathing Lucas. "My girlfriend is being watched, and is at the hospital with her best friend, and there's nothing I can do. But there is something you can do. Your girlfriend is in the hospital, and begged Riley to sedate her. She's a mess man. You gotta go to her." I turn into the living room, Lucas following me. He closes the door.
I think about not saying anything, not caring. I wish i could not care. This whole thing could completely affect me if I let it. But that would mean staying away from Maya.
"How is she?" I ask.
"Which one? Riley, she is a mess. She hasn't slept in like 24 hours, and I can't get her to go to bed. She also hasn't eaten since yesterday, and the fact that her best friend just, asked to be sedated, isn't helping. Then there's Maya who told Riley to sedate her because it was all too much. When asked why, she basically said she's tired of feeling. You have to let her know you care"
"I can't Lucas! She doesn't even trust me, or she would've told me about A. I don't think she wants me there."
"Man, of course she wants you there. The way I see it, there are only two reasons why she wouldn't have told you about A. 1) because this is new and she doesn't want you to get scared and bail, or 2) because Riley told me some of the things A threatened you and me with. Our girls are scared, but here's the thing, they're OUR girls. She LOVES you, and I can see that you love her." He starts to walk past me towards Riley's room.
"Where are you going?"
"First I'm going to Riley's room to grab her new clothes, and some other stuff. Then I'm driving you to the hospital because I think you know what you need to do now."
Maya POV
I wake up with a searing headache, and just like the last time, waking up comes with a series of realizations. I was hit by a car, A wants to tear us apart and is still in power, and Josh isn't coming, so A has won. A few tears sprinkle down my cheeks, and I turn onto my side. They trickle down, getting stuck in some places, nonetheless falling.
Is this what my life is going to be like? Trickling down, and trying not too, but in the end it's inevitable. Is A gonna be the one holding me down?
I start to cough, when someone tries to grab my hand. Thinking it's Riley I just push them away. I start to cough harder, and just want to go back to sleep. I close my eyes, but the person won't give up. "Maya? Do you need the nurse." It's Josh. I open my eyes, and look up at him, and see that the door is closed. He wants to talk.
Even though I know I love him, I wish he wasn't here. I lean on my other side, and face away from him. "Go away, you're not supposed to be here." I say as coldly as I can.
"Maya, I love you." I start to cry even harder.
"Go away." I was hit by a car, and A needs me! A needs me to feel powerful and in control. But A doesn't need Josh, so I can only imagine what A would do to him. This terrifies me more than anything. I feel the blood rushing through my veins turn stale and cold, like A's heart.
"I'm not going anywhere."
"But I don't want you here…" I try not to cry but I start to cry even harder. I feel him get on the bed, and wrap his arms around me, and I can't handle it anymore. I turn back around and lean into him. His arms tighten their hold, and I start to cry even harder.
"It's ok, I'm here for you." I start to cry even harder, he shouldn't be here. It's dangerous. The sobbing comes, and they rack my body. I start shivering so Josh pulls the blanket over me, and around both of us.
"I can't protect you anymore." I'm crying harder now than I ever have.
He lifts my head up so that I'm looking into his eyes. He's crying too. "You don't have to. You never did. Let that be my job for a while." I nod still crying. The fact that he's holding back tears too makes me feel warm and fuzzy. My heart is glowing. I wrap my arms around his neck, and pull myself closer. I keep crying for a long time, Josh's arms around me the whole time. And eventually I fall asleep without needing a sedative.
Riley's POV
"Ok, so Josh just called, Maya's sleeping, and he's gonna stay the night there. My parents are at the hospital, along with Maya's parents. Farkle is taking smackle home, and is then sleeping for the next two hours until we have to get ready for school. Are you going home, or staying here."
"I'm staying here, I don't want you to be alone." Lucas says. I smile. We're laying in my bed, and my head is resting on his chest. I've been up for two hours short of a whole day, and I'm really tired, but there's no time to think about that.
"Ok, so you can go to sleep." I tell him. I start busying myself with 'A research', moving my hands over my laptop, getting ready to have a nice chat with my other best friend, Google. When I don't hear Lucas moving, I look up, and he looks at me like I'm crazy. "Why aren't you moving?"
"What are you doing? Riley you haven't slept in 24 hours, and I can tell you're tired. I'm not going to sleep without you."
"I'm not going to sleep, but I am going to stay in bed with you. I'll just be on my laptop." I say.
"You have to get some sleep. If you don't, then you'll get sick. You can't afford that right now."
"Fine, but It's not gonna work. I just can't sleep anymore."
"Like you can't fall asleep?" he asks.
"No, I mean I fall asleep, and in like 15 minutes I'll wake up."
"What do you mean wake up?"
"The nightmares. They're bad." I admit looking down, ashamed of my subconscious self.
Lucas, unfazed by this, "I'll be here all night for you. Just wake me up, and I'll fight off the bad dreams for you." I smile. I guess maybe if he's here, the nightmares won't be so bad. I get up to turn off the light, and get back in bed. I kiss Lucas before gently laying my head down and his arms go around me. I didn't realize how tired I was until I got into bed, so I'm glad Lucas is making me do this.
I wake up screaming, as I roll off the bed . I hit the ground with a loud thud, and decide to just lay there. I don't want to move, or do anything. Last night was the worst dream I've ever had, ever. I still feel like I'm screaming, but I stay painfully silent. I take a deep breath in, and I feel cool hands on my back. The rub it for a few seconds, and it starts to calm my nerves. I try to lie still so the nausea goes away enough for me to get back up. The cool hands draw circles on my back, and they calm my shot nerves. Lucas picks me up as if I weigh no more than a pound, and he holds me in that position for a minute. He starts moving, so I burry my face into his neck so I can't see where we are going.
"Lucas, what time is it?" I ask. My voice sounds raspy from the screaming, and my throat is pained when I talk.
"5:30." He says.
"You have to go back to sleep."
"Not without you." he argues, but this time it feels different.
"I don't feel well. I don't wanna go to school today." I say.
"You don't feel well?" I shake my head. My throat is killing me from screaming, and my stomach is nauseous from last nights dream. Thank God there's nothing left for me to throw up. I vow never to eat again. Lucas continues talking, his voice soothing and calming to me. "You're not going to school today. Farkle, Smackle and Zay are handling it, you are going to eat and sleep." My mind might still be fuzzy, but I do see a major problem in his plan.
"I have to go."
"And why is that?" he asks. "What is it you need to do so badly?'
"It's Missy. If I don't go to her, she'll come to us, and I won't let her near Maya again".
"I'll handle her. Again?" he says. He walks us into the kitchen, grabs some waters, and a few saltine crackers. He places them carefully on my stomach, and starts walking us back to my room.
"You don't get it… I think she's A." he looks at me with wide eyes as the realization starts to back in. I don't know what he thinks about my number one suspect, but we'll talk about it later.
"I'm calling Farkle and Josh before bed…"
"Riley, there's no need." But I dial anyway. After checking on everyone, and making sure Maya's still breathing, I finally feel ok enough to go back to sleep.
The Next Day
"She did what?!" I practically scream at Farkle. It's now about one o'clock, and the longest I was able to sleep without screaming myself away was at most an hour and a half. So yes we are both tired, so I let Lucas sleep in after the last one. I came outside to the kitchen and called Farkle.
"Yeah, She came up to us at lunch and told us that she was so sorry about Maya, but that she deserved it."
"What is she saying happened to Maya?"
"She is telling everyone that she was in a car accident, and that she was the cause."
"What a bitch. I'll be there soon, I'm so sorry, that wouldn't have happened if I were there."
"No, don't come. I know you wanna divert Missy off of Maya, but instead she'll go after you. She's still telling people that you and Lucas broke up because you are a whore. Which isn't true."
"Yeah I know. To be honest, I didn't think people would really care that Lucas and I supposedly broke up. I didn't think that I was that popular." I say.
"Well they do. All the girls are pining over Lucas, and some of the guys are going after you too."
"They like me? I didn't think any of them were interested. I'm just… me. I don't even know what Lucas sees anymore." And the realization hits me. All the girls now want Lucas, so what happens if someone better than me comes along? "Oh my gosh! What happens if some super pretty, smart funny girl goes after him, and he realizes that he wants her more than he wants me? What you stop him from something better?"
"Love. The difference between you and those other girls is that he is in love with you, not those other girls." Farkle says as if I should've already gotten that part.
"Yeah I know it's just that, people like Missy are freaking models, and even though she's a bitch, I'll never be that pretty."
"You may not look like Missy, but You are gorgeous, and I guess it's just a plus that you're not a bitch… most of the time." I laugh, and so does he. "Did you get any sleep?"
"No. I tried, like for real though. I woke up a few times, and then I just watched Lucas."
"You are a creep."
"No, not like that!" I smile. "I mean, he slept, and I…"
"Kept watch." Farkle says for me.
"Yeah, it's just I won't feel safe until after we catch A, and even then I don't know if I'll feel safe."
"I get it. I have to go, Missy is on her way over."
"I'm so sorry. I'll check in later. I think it's important we all stay on the same page."
"Yeah of course, and please check on Maya for me. Bye!"
I hang up, and slouch down. I still haven't eaten anything but the two crackers Lucas force fed me last night, but I don't feel hungry. Maya is with Josh, and so I know she's safe, but I still feel nauseous. Maybe I will try to go back to bed… I am really tired still. No, I have to wait until these crackers get out of my system, or I'll puke again.
I sigh. I really can't win, no matter what I do. I think about my agenda for the day. I can't leave Lucas here alone, sleeping, so I'll have to wait for him to wake up before I visit Maya. She seems better today. I know Josh stayed with her all night, and I'm proud of him for getting his act together, I know it was hard.
I walk back to my room, and find Lucas lightly sleeping. I gently place my hand on his back, and he shoots straight up.
"Sorry I startled you."
"No, no, it's fine. Did you sleep at all last night?"
"Not really." He looks defeated, so I fix it. "But I feel a lot better." I lie.
It looks like he can tell, but he doesn't say anything. "Ok, so lay with me."
I get into the bed, and snuggle closer to him. He lays his face onto my neck, and it feels good. "Kiss me." I say loudly. He looks up, a little confused, but I see the hunger in his eyes. I lean in and kiss him, until I can't breathe. I pull back, and gasp for air, and lean in again. This time he moves to my neck. He places kisses up and down my neck, gently working down to my arm when he reach my bra strap. Before he can even ask, I remove it, granting him entry. He's seen me like this before, but since the rape, it's been different.
"Wait." I say. He stops immediately, because he is an amazing guy that knows the no means no. I know he wants too, and I do too, but I want it to be a romantic experience. Not a scary one.
"What's wrong? Did I take it too far?"
"No, it's just that I'm not ready to have sex yet." I say, taking a deep breath in.
"Riles, that's ok. We can just… cuddle." I think about my options.
"That's perfect." I say smiling. I take off my shorts, leaving me in my underwear, and he takes his shirt and pants off, so he's just in his underwear. We lay there for a minute when i hear the doorbell ring. I sigh, only a little sad I have to get up, but full on depressed that I have to leave Lucas.
"Hey, I'll go with you."
"Ok." I say, and give him a long kiss. I take his shirt, and put it on, inhaling his scent. I could smell this forever. I go to the door, even though Lucas's shirt barely covers my ass, and open the door. No one is there, and I seem pretty confused.
I step out of the apartment to see if anyone is in the hallway, and almost step on a box. It has no return address or any labels, so it seems pretty suspicious. I think it has A written all over it. I pick it up with shaking hands, and open it up to see something surprising. I hold the garment in my hand, and remember back to 'that day'. The day I was assaulted.
Inside the box is the shirt I wore that day, or at least I think so. I can tell that it hasn't been washed, as it smells of blood, and sweat. I run my fingers over the red blotchy spot on the neck where I was hit. My other hand immediately goes to the large scratch on the left side of my lower,lower neck.
I close my eyes and think back, and i remember. This was definitely the shirt I was wearing. I gasp, and drop the shirt on the floor. I feel Lucas's hands on my waist, or when he asks what's wrong. I just can't move. Get a grip, I tell myself. You weren't able to be strong for him on that day, but maybe you can today.
I notice that he has just reached down besides me to pick up the shirt, so I swoop down and grab it before he can. I shove t back in the box and force a fake smile. He seems to know, he always does. "Let's just go back to my room. The package must belong to my mom." I say lightly. I start walking back to my room quickly, box in hand.
"I don't think your old, bloody shirt belongs to your mom." He says, mostly to himself.
"Ok, I know. I'm fine though. Having the shirt or not having the shirt doesn't matter, it happened, that's not going to change." I flash another smile, but this one's real, because Lucas is starting to believe my facade. Inside however, my thoughts are buzzing, but one is clear. What would've happened if my mom found it? Or worse, my dad? I push the thought aside, and thank my lucky stars.
Later That Night
I wake up at 3:40 screaming. Screaming, and screaming, and screaming. I can't breathe, and I start coughing. Before I know it, the light outside my door is on, and my mom is running in to check on me. "What's wrong, what's wrong?" She asks as if I've just seen a ghost.
"I'm fine." I lie, my words sound rushed, and forced, but all I really want right now is Maya, or Lucas.
"Are you sure? Do you wanna talk about it?"
"No, I'm just gonna try to go back to sleep." I lie again. I think I'm gonna call Maya, or Lucas, or even Farkle. He seems to be the only one of us who is giving sane advice. She nods, then leaves, rubbing my back one last time, and shooting me a sad glance on her way out. She closes my door, and I grab my phone.
"Maya?" I ask.
"Riley, what's wrong it's 4 in the-"
"Maya, you were hit by a car." I start crying. I start crying so hard, that I start choking.
"Riley. Breath. In and Out. In and Out."
"You were gonna die, and A was following us everywhere, and I was raped." I say realizing what this is. This is the stress starting to hit me from the past week.
"Ok, I don't want you to be alone, so I'm calling Luc-"
"No!" I say before she can finish. I explain, "A sent me a package today, and it had my shirt from- that day. I almost freaked out, but when i realized that Lucas was there, I stayed strong. I was so proud of myself Maya, so obviously, A had to take that away. A few hours ago I got a text. A knows that Lucas and I are dating, and wants us to keep it under wraps at school, however…. He wants Lucas to 'move on'. " I gulp. The thought of him having to pretend to be with another girl makes me sick. And what makes me sicker is that he would have to cheat on her the whole time for us to be together.
"What? Why does A want to change that? The bastard is getting whatever he wants."
"He?" I ask, wondering who she suspects.
"Yeah, I think A is a guy. I think I remember seeing a guy in the car that hit me."
"Any ideas?" i ask.
"Charlie Gardner."
"Charlie? Seriously? How could Missy not be your top suspect?"
"Well, she's a close second. Do you wanna come over? To the hospital, I mean?"
"Nah. I'm starting to feel better, I have to go to school tomorrow."
"You don't have to, but I won't stop you. Get some rest."
We say our goodbyes, and I try to get sleep, I drift off again, back into the realm of bad dreams, and endless nightmares, that might just really become reality.
Lucas's POV
I wake up the next day because of a dinging sound. I check my phone. It's five o'clock. I don't usually have to get up for school until 6, so I'm wondering who would need me this early. I start to get real nervous because the only calls or texts that come this early are for emergencies. Could Maya have had a bad night last night and die? Could Riley have been attacked by A? Did I sleep through all of it?
I finally decide to just open the text, and see it's from Riley. It says; Hey. A sent me another text last night, and it's really important, so can we meet early before school starts?
Thank God there wasn't an emergency. I type back sure and we talk about a time and place. I get ready, and go to meet her. When I get there, she looks tired, like she didn't get any sleep, and also stressed.
"What did the text say?" I ask. She looks up, and when our eyes meet, she smiles. As if realizing that her loving me will only put me in danger, she frowns, and the beauty of her happiness disappears.
I sit beside her, and we interlock hands. It's hard to believe that it's only the third day of school, and so much has happened. She leans her head on my shoulder, and sighs.
"A wants you to start dating someone else." I'm shocked. A has already pushed us into a corner, and now they want us to become even smaller. This is going to be difficult, but at the same time, I can't lose her.
"We can make this work." I say, going over plans and ideas in my head. "I could just pretend to date someone, and then we could be together." She looks up at me, and there are tears in her eyes.
"It's not going to work, Lucas. We can't be together."
"Babe… Yes we can. I'll make sure of it." I say pulling her in more.
"Then you would be cheating on the other girl, we can't do that to her." I realize she's right, but I still won't give up.
"We'll figure it out." I say, not sure which one of us I'm trying to convince.
"Lucas," Riley says sternly. "It's over." I look up at her, and she's about to cry. Never in my entire life, has Riley ever cried this much.
"No. It can't be, I love you." I say, even though I'm not sure it will help.
Riley smiles just a little, before she's back to trying to hold herself together. "I love you too, but it's not safe for either of us."
"Ok, I atleast have time, right? A can't expect me to have a relationship in a day."
"Yeah, I guess. A didn't give me a time frame."
"Ok," I go in to hug her, "We'll figure something out. Enough about this. I wanna know why you didn't sleep at all last night." I say. I am really starting to worry about her. It's just not healthy for a person to get this little sleep.
She looks up, a little stunned. "I woke up again, and then I just couldn't go back to sleep."
"Ok, I'm going over there again tonight." I say. If she can't fall asleep on her own right now, maybe I can help her.
"You can't. It's my turn to stay with Maya."
"Can't someone else do it, just this once?" I ask.
"Lucas, I have to start pulling my own weight in this. We all have to work to keep each other safe until this bastard is found." I sigh, and look down at my watch. It's 7:30. People will be arriving any minute, and we can't risk being seen together. Riley starts to realize this, and we kiss goodbye, before heading in our separate directions.
After 2 period, I head straight to my locker. I have a 15 minute break, and I wanna try and go find Josh. I shove my math textbook in my locker, and try to find my letterman jacket. As I'm searching through the rest of my football clothes, someone comes up behind me. It's Missy.
"Hey Lucas." She says.
"Um Hey Missy." I say.
"I heard what happened between you and Riley. I'm sorry, I know it wasn't your fault." She says. I cringe. Could she really be talking to me about this? She has no right! And who's fault does she think it is? Riley's?
"So who's fault is it, Missy?" I say turning toward her.
"I don't know. All I know is that if you're stressed, and wanna just relax and hang out, I'm throwing a party this Friday night."
"I don't know, I'm kind of busy on Friday with football and stuff." Friday is our first football practice, and next friday is our first game. The schedule is tough this season. We only have like 4 practices in between games, but I think we can do it.
I'm snapped back into reality when Miss stands closer to me, and places her hand on my arm. "Don't worry, I made it after your practice so we have perfect timing." Gross. I turn to face back into my locker, and grab the now seen jacket. I put it on, and close my door.
As I start to walk away, I say, "Sorry Missy, I'm just not interested right now." Then I head off to my break. I hope Riley doesn't get yelled at for that. I then head to my now 15 minute break.
Maya's POV
I wake up at around 11, to an empty bed. My heart starts to beat faster when I realize Josh isn't here. I look around, and find a note. It says: Hey Maya. I had to get up and go to school today. It's Riley's first day back, so I felt like I needed to be there. Get some rest, and get better soon please. I love you. Josh.
He is so sweet. I stare at the page and smile, knowing I probably look like a goober, but I don't care. I re-fold the note and put it on the side table next to my hospital bed. Just then a nurse comes in.
"Good Morning Maya. How are you feeling?"
With Josh now gone, the numbing effect has left and the pain and memories come flushing back. "My leg hurts, and so does my head."
"Ok, I'm afraid that the only reason why your head hurts is because you just had a major trauma, so there isn't much we can do. But what about your leg hurts?"
"There is just a lot of pressure everywhere." She gently lifts all of the covers off of me, and I see my legs for the first time. On of them looks pretty normal besides bruising and scratches and stuff. But the other looks horrible. It's covered in stitches and scars and black and blue marks and bruising and blotchy red marks. Part of it is completely wrapped, so I can't even see the rest of it. I sigh.
"Ok, everything looks normal, but I can see that you need a new wrap." She says.
"Ok."
"I'm also going to go give you some more painkillers, which will help, but also make you really tired."
"Ok." She shoots something into my IV Bag and walks away. Just like that, I'm asleep.
My dreams aren't exactly bad, but more alarming. The car hitting me replays on a loop. Sometimes Riley is the one that finds me, sometimes Josh. The ones with Josh are the worst. I cough a few times, and Josh sits up, now knowing that I'm awake.
I wake up to find Josh sitting on my bed, holding my hand. As soon as he sees I'm up, he smiles, and I laugh. "Why are you so boingy, boing?" I ask, trying to keep a straight face.
"I have good news for you!" He smiles.I look at him expectantly, as he just smiles. "Oh yeah," He continues, "Your doctor said that if everything is fine, you can come home in a week!"
"Really!" I smile. "That's great! I thought that I'd be in here forever!"
"I'm just so glad that you're ok." He say looking into my eyes intently. My smile fades into something different. My once look of content now morphs into a look of desire. Josh leans in just a little, and I lean forward as well. The heartbeat monitor starts to move faster, and Josh pulls back smiling. I feel my cheeks light up, and he lifts up my chin.
"Do I make you nervous?" He asks. I feel just over slightly embarrassed right now, but I try to keep my chill.
"Among other things." I say looking back up at him. He leans in a little bit more, and tries to whisper something in my ear.
"You make me nervous too, Maya Hart." That's enough, you could cut the sexual tension with a knife. I turn my head to the side, and take him by surprize. I kiss him, and he wraps his arms around my waist pushing my back towards him. My back starts to hurt a little, but I don't care. I never want this to end. Josh's tongue slides across my lip, and I grant him access into a world not many have discovered. I wrap one arm around his back, and one around his neck. I start moving so that I'm lying down, and he gets on the bed to lay down. He scoots a little closer, and the pressure on my leg gets intense. I wince, but I don't stop, hoping Josh want notice. He does, and leans back so we're both laying on our sides, face to face.
"Maya?" Josh ask, obviously concerned.
"Don't stop." I say, whining just a little, and wanting just a little bit more.
"No. I hurt you." He sighs. "Let's not do that until you're way better." He says much to my dismay.
"But I don't care. I like to do that." I frown.
"Me too, but we can't."
"Besides that, why not? I mean I don't care."
"It's not just that. It's also the fact that once we go there, I know I won't be able to stop." I look into his eyes, and i know he means it. Within the brown of his irises, I can see desire, and i think that's what is in both of mine right now too.
"So, what can I do?" I ask.
He scoots down just a little, "Why don't you just lie right here," He pats his chest," And I'll wrap an arm around you, and tell you how gorgeous you look right now. Do we have a deal?" He asks lighthearted.
With an overwhelming amount of love in my heart, I reply. "Yes, Joshua Matthews, we have a deal."