Chris and Andrew cautiously approached the door.
"Are you sure about this?" asked Chris.
"No," replied Andrew. "But what's the worst that could happen?"
"Well, the guy could kill us," Chris said. "He could hit us over the head with a chair, he could beat us up …"
"This is the same guy that was commenting on how he was sweating like a pig," reminded Andrew, who then turned to his friend. "Don't be so pessimistic. Remember, you've done some pretty crazy stuff over the years. Dressing up as a member of the Ku Klux Klan, offering cracked pepper to random strangers, that in-bed scene with that old lady …"
"What's your point?" asked Chris.
"That you've taken risks in the past," said Andrew. "You've done things that other people wouldn't dare do. Things that were hard at the time, but paid off in the end. This isn't any different. We're just taking another risk now, and we're going to get through it. Just think of it as a stunt for the show."
"Wow Andrew," said Chris. "That was really inspiring." He smiled, a newly found courage in his heart that was about more than just doing things for cheap laughs. This was for the planet, and though it was his job to make fun of that planet as much as possible, he still loved it.
"Okay, I'm ready," he said. Andrew nodded, and they faced the door. Chris knocked. A moment later, it was answered by the man they'd seen before.
"Yes? Yes?" the man said impatiently. Chris took a deep breath.
"Hello sir," he said. "Are you associated with the selling of the china dolls out front?" The man's eyes narrowed.
"What's it to you?" he asked suspiciously.
"Well, we have an exciting offer for you," said Chris, thinking how Julian would do this so much better. "With the use of this warehouse, you are eligible for the free use of the advertising system that comes with it."
"Oh yes?" said the man, raising an eyebrow. "Well we could always use some help getting the product on the market. Sales aren't as high as we'd like. I suppose you'd better come in." Chris and Andrew followed the guy inside, and they sat down.
"So what's this system then?" the guy asked.
"It's The Crazy Warehouse Guy!" exclaimed Chris. "Nothing can attract attention better. Just imagine you're in front of the TV and there have been loads of really boring ads. Then suddenly …" He pointed to Andrew, who opened his mouth.
"COME DOWN TO OUR WAREHOUSE FOR OUR MASSIVE CLEARANCE SALE!" Andrew shouted. "WE'VE GOT PILE AFTER PILE OF CHINA DOLLS FROM PRICES AS LOW AS … what are you selling them for?"
"Er, five dollars," said the guy, who had his hands over his ears.
"FIVE DOLLARS! FIVE DOLLARS! THIS PRICE IS NEVER TO BE REPETED! FIVE DOLLARS! THESE DOLLS ARE PRACTICALLY WALKING OUT THE DOOR (And they can, coz they're possessed, he thought), SO GET DOWN TO THE CITY BEFORE MIDNIGHT TONIGHT!" Andrew crossed his arms over his chest.
"What do you think?" he asked. The guy looked at him.
"I think you'd better leave," he said.
"Oh well, we tried," said Chris, getting up. "Tough luck Andrew. This guy just doesn't understand our method of advertising. He probably thought you were being possessed." The man looked at them.
"Yeah, I get it," said Andrew. "The way we advertise our products is probably completely alien to him." The man gulped.
"Please leave now," he said.
"Look Andrew, this guy's banishing us," said Chris. That was the last straw. The guy charged at them. But they quickly got out their bottles.
"Stop right there," said Andrew, slowly walking towards the guy. "This bottle contains liquid plastic, which we know will kill you."
"Wh-what do you want?" stammered the guy.
"Information," said Chris. "What is your name?"
"Kranskonaut."
"Right," said Chris. "And you're a Polygrite."
"Yes," said Kranskonaut. "And for the record, I'm a female. I didn't want to possess this guy, he's so fat and ugly, but I did what I had to for the survival of my people."
"That doesn't justify taking over the human race," said Andrew. "It's not like these are the only measures you could have taken. There are plenty of options."
"But this is the easiest," said Kranskonaut. "You humans are so gullible and naïve. You're like children compared to us."
"Yeah, well have you ever seen Home Alone?" challenged Chris.
"No," said Kranskonaut bluntly.
"Ah," said Chris. "But still, we've outsmarted you. And now you're going to tell us everything." Kranskonaut looked at them helplessly.
"Okay," she (for it really was a she) said.