God only knows

Pairing: Grace/Boyd

Rating: T

Summary: After Boyd rescues a woman, he can't get the terrified look on her face out of his mind. He and the team try to find out why. Set sometime after season 5.

Author's notes: Special thanks to shadowsamurai83 for the beta

Disclaimer: Waking the Dead belongs to the BBC. I'm taking them for a kick and a giggle but promise to be back before the main game.

Chapter 11

A still emotional Helen Chandler blew her nose as she entered the lift to go up to Ann Black's office. She kept reliving the nightmare in her mind. In a daze, Helen followed Mary. Ann would be looking after Helen for the rest of the day as Mary had to go back to work.

The lift stopped at on the ground floor and three well dressed men entered the lift. They gave the women a cursory look over, checking them out and then ignored them, carrying on their conversation, as if they didn't exist.

"Mike, you're coming tonight, aren't you?"

"I'll be there."

"Steve wouldn't miss it."

"No way. I'm coming. Cards, booze and so much more …."

Helen had watching the numbers above the lift's doors and hadn't seen the men entered, but then her heart almost literally stopped. That man's voice. The accent. It was him. No question about it. She had to get out of there. She had to run. Bile rose up her stomach and she gagged it back down. At first she couldn't speak. Her jaw refused to work.

The list stopped and the doors opened.

Helen saw her chance. Grabbing Mary's arm, she yanked her toward the door, but Mary dropped her handbag.

By this time, the men stopped and were looking at what was going on. Steven Banks wondered what these two dopey cows were doing.

Wriggling out of Helen's grip, Mary bent down to pick it up. She hadn't seen Helen's scared look and wondered what was going on. It wasn't Ann's floor.

And when Banks' and Helen's eyes met, the look of disdain tore at her. He had no idea who she was, but she knew exactly what he'd done to her.

"Don't come any …. No more …. Please .…" Helen whimpered as she backed out of the lift. Over and over in her mind, this man kept saying 'I'm coming' like a tape recorder stuck on playback as he abused her all those years ago. Again, she remembered his rough hands clawing all over her defenceless body, pinching and squeezing, as he emptied his seed into her. There was no way that was going to happen again. She ran.

Mary heard Helen scream as the lift closed, leaving her alone in the lift with the men. Mary was shocked. What had happened? The frightened look on Helen's face was the same she'd worn the night before. For the first time, Mary looked at the men in the lift with her. All had looks of contempt on their faces like she was some sort of nutter. The dark haired man in the middle looked familiar. He'd spoken with a weird accent. Helen must've recognized him. It had to be the guy in the photo that Dr Foley had shown her.

Mary quickly pressed the button to get out at the next floor. She didn't look at the guys again, she was too scared to.

When the lift stopped, she raced out and down the flight of stairs as quickly as she could to get back to where Helen should have been, but she wasn't there. Where had she gone? Mary tried phoning her but there was no answer. She went to her car but she wasn't there. She tried Ann's office but she wasn't there and Ann had joined in the search after Mary explained what had happened.

They couldn't find her.

Frantic, Mary phoned the policeman, Boyd, filling him on what happened.

- - -

"Shit!" Boyd yelled out, as he hung up the phone "Grace, head toward Victoria Street."

"What's happened?"

"Mary Carr thinks Helen Chandler may have seen one of her attackers. And now she's missing."

Grace turned the car around and headed toward Scotland Yard.

Peter hit the speed dial on his phone. "Spence, it's Boyd. Get me a location of this phone. Now."

"Hang on." Spence booted up the GPS program and typed in the number. "Near St James' Park. The Broadway and Old Queen's gate. Elevation high."

"Thanks, Spence." She was still in Ann Black's building, Boyd realized. "The Broadway, Grace."

"Right."

Grace parked the car outside the tall office building and walked straight to the security office. They asked for copies of the CCTV footage of the foyer and the lifts for the last hour as well as a list of all visitors to the building. The security guard noted also the emergency exit door to the roof had been opened in the last twenty minutes. He'd thought it could be smokers.

Spence said the phone had a high elevation so Grace and Boyd then headed for the lifts and to the top floor.

After negotiating the stairs, Boyd opened the door to the roof top area.

Panicking, Helen heard the door open. They were coming after her. She'd run blindly to get away and found herself hidden behind an air-conditioner duct, cornered and once again defenceless. She barely breathed. She willed her heart to stop beating because they were sure to hear it pounding in her chest and find her. Helen tried to look for another avenue of escape, but there was only one that could see. There was no way that she'll let herself go through all that again.

As the footsteps got closer, she made her choice. Helen dashed for the ledge and clambered over the rail.

Boyd saw a flash of movement close by and dived at her.

Helen prayed for forgiveness and her last thoughts were of her family and friends.

Suddenly, she felt large hands grab her waist just like they'd done before. With all her might, she lashed out with an elbow, connecting solidly with bone and cartilage. She felt the man's grip weaken but not disappear. Only after several more solid hits, did he let go and Helen Chandler jumped.

Grace had gone around the other side, but came running when she'd heard the screaming. She found Peter slumped against the ledge, bleeding copiously from an obviously broken nose.

"FUCK!" After spitting out a mixture of blood and saliva, Boyd yelled at the sky, more out of frustration of not being able to prevent her jumping than from the pain of his damaged nose.

Knowing exactly what she'd find, Grace still had to look and leant over the ledge. Helen Chandler's dead body, twisted unnaturally and oozing blood resting on the clear canopy above the main entrance to the building.

Boyd didn't need to look over the edge. He knew exactly what he'd find. Memories of Mel Silver's body landing on his car still caused an occasional nightmare.

Grace tried to console Peter, but he brushed off Grace's hand on his shoulder. He didn't need solace at the moment. He was angry. Angry at himself for not having the strength to hold onto Helen, and he was even angrier at the men who'd driven her to this.

With blood still dripping from his nose, Boyd was a man on a mission, looking for the men responsible. Grace could only travel in his wake as they made their way back down the stairs and into the lift.

As they emerged from the lift, Ann and Mary were just coming out of the other lift.

"Christ, what happened to you?" both young women said simultaneously. The policeman's nose was bleeding and slightly skewed. He looked liked he'd been punched.

Boyd ignored them. "Have you seen the man Helen saw?"

"No," Mary answered.

"Have you seen Helen?" Ann asked.

It was obvious they didn't know what had happened. Boyd closed his eyes and whispered, "I'm sorry."

Before Grace could explain the girls heard the approaching sirens. The red and blue flashing lights of emergency lights filled the foyer.

The girls saw a crowd outside the main entrance all looking up. As the approached the door, they recognized Helen's clothing and couldn't help but stare at all the blood. Their friend was dead.

"What happened?" Ann turned back toward Boyd. Her anger boiled over when he didn't immediately answer. "WHAT HAPPENED?!"

"Ann, she jumped." They deserved the truth.

"No! I don't believe you!" Ann wailed.

"I tried …." Not hard enough, he knew. He felt so guilty.

Ann launched herself at him, pummelling his chest with her fists.

Boyd deserved this. He should've been able to stop her but he couldn't hold on. Eventually he grabbed Ann's arms to stop the flurry of punches, before she collapsed in his arms, sobbing as she gripped onto his shirt with all her might. He held onto her until Mary took her from his arms.

The two girls held onto each other and cried for their friend.

- - -

After having his statement taken by a local PC, Boyd slumped against column in the foyer, tired, fed up and with the headache. His broken nose still dripped blood and it hurt just moving his head even a little way.

Grace stood near Boyd, not saying anything.

They both felt numb but guilty. Over and over in their minds, they questioned themselves whether they could've done something more to stop Helen Chandler tragically ending her life in that way. There were no real answers. They didn't really know what was going on in her mind. They couldn't have stopped her leaving CCHQ, she wasn't under arrest and Grace couldn't section her. But it still didn't stop them thinking there must have been something they could've done.

"Peter, come on. To the hospital." Grace pointed to the main entrance, which was now clear of onlookers. The fire brigade were in the final stages of removing the body. The ambulance had left and was replaced by the coroner's men.

He shrugged and limped off toward the car.

Still hugging each other, Ann and Mary had finished crying and were waiting around, not sure what they should do. Grace had consoled them and told them what was going to happen to Helen and that seemed to make them feel a little better. Grace had arranged for a PC to drive them home.

The lift door opened and the people inside strode off to entrance, a little taken aback at all the police and firemen outside and in the foyer. They had no idea what had happened.

Mary looked up when she heard the clip clop of leather shoes on tile floor and she screamed, "That's him!" She rushed over to the group. "You bastard! You killed her!"

Steven Banks immediately recognized the mad woman screaming at him. She was one of the two stupid tarts from the lift when they first arrived.

Steve and his two friends still had no idea what was going on. Ignoring her, they kept walking.

Hearing the commotion, Boyd turned around. It was the man from the CCTV footage at the intersection.

Ann and Mary followed Banks, yelling abuse all the way until Grace pulled them aside while Boyd spoke to the men.

Showing his ID, Boyd took him aside. "What's your name?"

"Steven Banks," Banks pointed to his friends as he named them. "That's Simon Farr-Jones and Richard Aldridge. Thank you for getting those nutters away from me."

"Address?" Boyd just managed to ignore his comment. He hated him already.

"Here's my card. I work from my apartment. Together we run a very successful management consultant for several large corporations."

Simon and Richard also passed Boyd their cards.

Smug bastards, Peter thought. He didn't care if Banks was the next Rupert bloody Murdoch. "Wait here." The DSI then called Stella and got her to run on a check this Steven Banks and his two mates, but was disappointed because they were clean. After a deep breath, he asked Banks about the accident and if he'd known Helen Chandler.

Banks barely remembered what the woman in the lift even looked like and denied ever knowing this woman ten years go. He was in the area but hadn't seen any accident. He didn't have to act innocent. He was. He had no idea what happened two days ago.

Eventually both men lost patience with the other and their words became more heated.

Simon went to defend Steve, but was stopped in his tracks when he tried to step in.

Boyd turned to Farr-Jones and shoved his finger in his face. "Back off!"

Holding up his arms, Simon backed away. He'd seen Steve angry before but it paled in comparison. The policeman looked like he was going to explode.

By the state of this policeman, he looked like he'd just been in a fight and possibly not all there. Banks decided to change tack. "Look, Superintendant," Banks sneered, acting superior, "I think you need to go to the hospital. I don't know what you're talking about. As far as I know, nothing happened two days ago. If you want to question me further, I want my solicitor present," Steve threatened. "And I'll be making a complaint."

To Banks' surprise, the policeman didn't back down, ignoring his threats and kept going after him. It was only when Boyd started to point a finger into his chest, angrily accusing him of practically killing Chandler, and adding that he knew he'd done it and wouldn't stop until he proved it, did the woman with him pull him away.

"Boyd!" Grace grabbed his arm and yanked him away. She'd recognized that Boyd was fast losing control and marched him away from the men. A foyer in a large building with an audience of the public and PCs wasn't the best place to start accusing the men of rape and murder.

A shake of Grace's head and her look of disappointment at his behaviour were enough of a rebuke for Boyd to curb his desire to take out his frustrations out on the man.

"Breathe," Boyd muttered to himself. Several times, he inhaled deeply and released the air slowly until he regained his composure. Running his hand through his hair, he just realized how close he'd come to breaking a promise to Grace. He'd gotten so angry at Banks that he'd nearly lost it completely. If it wasn't for Grace, he'd have hit him and his job wouldn't be the only thing that he may have lost. His job came a distant second to Grace and now he felt sick to his stomach. "Grace, …." he pleaded, unable to finish.

For her part, Grace was at least pleased that he was able to step back and calm down quickly. "It's all right."

"No. I nearly …." Boyd coughed and then gagged on a fresh flow of blood that ran down the back of his throat, caused by his heart rate racing. At the same time, he wiped the blood flowing freely again from his nose with the back of his hand.

"But you didn't." Grace passed him a fresh tissue. "Boyd, it's all right. I understand."

"I don't know happened. I …." Boyd had recognized all the signs that he was losing control, but had ignored them. All he'd focused on was hearing Helen Chandler screaming for them to stop.

"I do. You reacted normally to the person you and I both think caused Helen Chandler to jump. And I forgive you." Grace smiled, and gently squeezed his hand.

"Thank you." Peter vowed to work extra hard to make it up to her. Calm now, he looked back to where Banks and his friends were standing. With Helen dead, the only evidence that something had happened had disappeared too. They had no idea where the attack had taken place so there was no physical evidence. And even if Helen had still been alive, it was doubtful that a jury would convict someone solely based on what he sounded like. He knew he was the guy. They just had no proof and so Boyd realized he'd have to let the bastard go. "I'm going to have to let him go."

"I know."

"Let's get it over with then."

They walked over to Banks.

"Banks, you can go."

"Why, thank you," he replied sarcastically, and then left the building.

"Pricks!" said Grace just loud enough so she knew that Banks and his mates would hear it as they left.

With a smirk, Boyd turned to Grace, completely agreeing with her.

Ann and Mary watched as the man left. Both were livid now. They'd heard everything. The two women raced back toward Boyd.

"Why did you let that bastard go?" accused Mary. She knew he was guilty.

"Mary, Boyd had to. There was no proof." Grace tried to keep her voice calm, hoping that would also calm Mary. Despite everything that Helen had said, there had been no proof. It had been her word against his. She didn't like it, but that was the reality of the situation.

"Then get the fucking proof. I saw Helen's face. She knew it was him. I know it was him." Mary was so angry, her voice hitched high. She even believed that they knew it was Banks.

"Mary, come on. Let's get you home." Ann wrapped an arm around her friend and hugged her.

Mary tried to shrug her off but Ann wouldn't let go. They held onto each other.

"Peter, I've organized one of the PCs to drive the girls home."

"Thanks, Grace." Boyd turned toward the young women, sympathizing with them. "Please go home. Call me if you need anything. I mean it."

Ann nodded. She knew there was nothing much the police could do without proof. In time, she hoped that Mary would see that too.

The couple watched as a PC escorted the two young went out of the building. Neither of them looked upwards to where the body of the friend lay.

"Let's go." Grace ushered the DSI out of the building and to the hospital.

- - -

TBC