A/N: Wowza! Your responses to the last chapter blew me away! Thank you so much to everyone that reviewed, you all rock. And as a thank you (and to restore icouldrun's faith in love!) I decided to post the next chapter quicker than I normally do. Hopefully it delivers.

Warnings: just language today.

Chapter Eleven

Beth was actually a very insecure person.

Some things she was very confident about, like her musical ability. She knew she could sing and play both piano and guitar better than most. But she wasn't secure believing in herself. She sometimes didn't feel pretty enough, interesting enough, funny enough, or good enough. She knew she was being ridiculous, Rick told her often how beautiful she was, how much he adored her, and he made her feel special. Just a few weeks prior he had told her he loved her. The last few months she had been getting better, but she couldn't always make herself believe him.

She hadn't always been so insecure, Atlanta left her more messed up than she liked to acknowledge. After her breakup with Zach, Beth's self-confidence had slowly circled the drain until she felt terrible about herself and her brilliant idea to become a star. She didn't feel pretty anymore, she was constantly surrounded by beautiful girls just like herself in the music industry and she couldn't hang on to a boyfriend without using sex to keep him interested. So with that attitude she had lost what little bit of herself she had been protecting and sold her soul for a recording contract. And she couldn't even do that properly.

Beth knew that she had made the right choice in breaking the contract, but her heart didn't always feel what her mind knew. She liked to think that if she ever ran into her former producer, who she had slept with and then had sit with through hours of degrading arbitration with to handle breaking her contract, that she would hold her head high and acknowledge him cordially. In reality, she knew she was more likely to run in the opposite direction and hide, possibly break into tears. She wasn't very good at getting mad. Except apparently at Rick. She couldn't even remember the last time she screamed at someone like she had at Rick, it was just that all her emotions involving Rick were so strong that she couldn't stop herself.

And now she might have ruined everything. She ignored Rick's calls, he had called four times so far, all four times Beth had held her phone in her hand staring at the small screen and holding her breath until after the voicemail notification. She didn't check the voicemails either. She was a coward. And in denial. She didn't want to hear Rick end things with her, if she couldn't handle a fight with him how would she handle it if he ended their relationship? Obviously she couldn't. So she saved the voicemails for when she was feeling stronger.

She had debated about calling out of work the day after the fight, but luckily Beth knew Rick's schedule and knew he was working a late shift so she knew he wouldn't be able to come in to the bar until after her shift. T-Dog had thought she was upset about not getting the job, he had patted her head and told her tough break, but Beth couldn't tell if T-Dog knew that Lori kept her from getting the job. T-Dog wasn't really a man for gossip. Amy though, Amy knew something else was wrong. "Holy crap, did someone die?"

"No, do I look that bad?" Beth hadn't really tried on her appearance, she wasn't wearing makeup and she hadn't slept a wink.

"Yes. Is it Rick? Did you two have a fight? Did you two break up? Please, Lord, don't tell me you two broke up!"

Beth's shrug wasn't the reply Amy wanted. They had all tried to talk to her: Amy, Lacey, Rachel, and Susie. Beth didn't tell any of them what the fight was about, there was no way she was telling anybody else about Lori. So she just said that the fight was big and bad and Beth was afraid that she and Rick were over.

Over.

What would she do if they were over? Could she stay in a small town where Rick was a deputy? She didn't think so, she'd finish the semester and then transfer, go crawling home to her parents like the failure she knew she was. That was the real reason she had run from the fight with Rick, when he had alluded to her Atlanta problems it had brought all her insecurities raging to the surface when they had been dormant for so long. Her mind had been screaming at her, why was she fighting with Rick? Rick knew about her past and loved her regardless, so why was she ruining it? So she ran away, reaffirming the accusation Rick threw at her.

The second day after the fight dawned to a bright day and cheerful, chirping birds. Beth hated all of it. She reluctantly rolled out of bed and went to her three classes. Luckily, she didn't have to work that night. Thank god, because she barely made it through the day. She was barely paying attention in her classes, and she hadn't even glanced in a mirror that morning but apparently she looked terrible, judging how many of her classmates, and one professor, asked if she was sick. When Beth got home she just wanted to hide in her bed for the rest of her life.

Beth was curled into a ball on her bed facing away from the door when she heard it creak open. She hoped Lacey or one of the other girls didn't want to try and talk to her again so she curled tighter into herself. She just wanted to be miserable by herself. She listened as the heavy steps crossed the room and she could feel someone standing beside her bed. She mentally willed the other person to leave, but had no such luck as she felt the bed dip as the other person sat and let out a deep sigh.

Beth's eyes shot open, that didn't sound like a girl. She quickly turned, partly sitting up, only to come face to face with Rick. "Oh!" Beth wanted to sink back beneath all her bedding and hide but instead leaned back against the headboard. She had to look like a disaster. She hadn't showered or brushed her hair in over a day, it was pulled into a ratty ponytail, her eyes were red and puffy from crying and she felt congested. She was wearing a white cami top and pajama shorts with the pattern of peppy le pew chasing his lady love cat. That sure wouldn't help her win any maturity arguments.

"Hey," Rick's voice was rough and he sounded exhausted. Beth took a moment to study him, he looked like he hadn't slept in days either, he had dark circles under his eyes and he was wearing his uniform but it looked rumpled. Beth had to resist a very strong urge to pull Rick into her arms and run her hands through his hair to soothe him. But Beth wasn't sure why Rick was here, in her messy, shared bedroom.

"Hi," she finally responded quietly. She really hoped Rick wasn't here to break up with her.

"I just stopped by… I can't stay long, I have to pick Carl up from practice…" Rick's unsure tone made Beth's heart plummet. She stared at her bedding unable to look him in the eye. He was totally going to end their relationship, he was giving himself an out to leave and he didn't know what to say.

"It's okay," she found herself saying. She didn't want Rick to draw it out, if things were ending, she wanted it quick so she could go back to wallowing.

"No, it's not okay." Rick's tone was firm with an angry edge. Beth's eyes flew back to his face in shock. He wasn't looking at her, but he was glaring at the floor. "I was a terrible husband, I'm crap at being a dad, and now I'm ruining the best thing in my life." Beth stared at Rick in surprise. Was he mad at himself? Rick finally looked up at her, she could see that he was angry but it wasn't directed at her. Was she the best thing in his life? "Beth, I'm sorry. So sorry. What can I do to make this up to you? I said awful things that I didn't mean—"

"But they're true. And I was butting into things that I shouldn't have, I was pushing you, and everything you said is true. I'm a coward that runs away from my problems—"

"No you're not." Rick put a hand on Beth's knee and he had a determined look in his eye, "You got yourself out of a bad situation, you're making your life better, you're only twenty-one and you've made better life decisions than anyone else I know."

Beth snorted, "yeah, I'm real mature, that's why I told you and Shane about Lori like I did."

"You were mad, we all do dumb things when we're mad. You've met Shane, the guy does dumb things all the time. Half the time at work I feel like I'm babysittin'." Beth cracked a tiny smile at Rick's attempt to lighten the situation. "I do dumb things when I'm mad too. I wasn't mad at you the other day, I was angry with Shane for betraying our friendship, I was angry at Lori for everything, and I took it out on you. You're right about Carl, I have no idea how to handle him, and you pointing that out just reminded me what a fuck-up I am so I attacked you. I am so sorry."

"You're not a failure, Rick, Carl loves you, he adores you."

Rick shook his head, "He prefers Shane to me."

"No, Shane was just giving him the attention he needed while you were overworked," Beth said firmly. She was now fully sitting up on her knees, Rick's hand was still on her skin and she grabbed his hand to give him a reassuring squeeze.

"But he's so moody, sometimes he's back to being his normal self but most of the time he's so sullen and angry and I don't know what to do."

"His parents went through a divorce with a custody battle, no kid gets through that unscathed." Rick sighed wearily at Beth's words. "He still wants to live with you. He told me that the court wouldn't let him live with you because of your job and he—well, he still wants to be with you." Beth stopped herself from telling Rick that Carl wanted them to get married, she really didn't want to bring that up, she still wasn't sure that Rick wasn't breaking up with her.

Rick looked down breaking their eye contact, "I don't deserve you," he said quietly. "I came here to apologize and beg for your forgiveness and here you are comforting me."

Beth heart was pounding as she studied Rick, so were they okay? Rick wasn't trying to end their relationship? "Are we… are we okay?" Beth asked hesitantly. She couldn't believe that he wasn't still upset at her. The whole fight had been her fault, she had known exactly what to say to hurt Rick. She hadn't considered that Rick would know what to say to hurt her too.

"Do you forgive me?" Rick asked, she could see doubt written all over his face even as she nodded. "Beth, I'm not good at this, at relationships and talking. But I mean it, you are the best thing in my life and I will do anything to make this right." Beth gave Rick a small smile, his words filled her with a warmth she hadn't felt in days. He was just so earnest while trying to convey his feelings, he rarely ever talked this candidly with her. Sitting here with him, Beth ached with how much she loved this man.

Rick continued speaking, "I should have brought you flowers. Christ. Or chocolate. Or those cookies you like." Butterscotch oatmeal cookies with cranberries. The bakery department at the grocery store made them and Beth loved them while Rick thought they had too much 'going on'. "See, I can't even beg for forgiveness right. But I have to pick Carl up at six and so I charged right over here after work."

Beth did like that Rick was concerned with seeing her as soon as possible rather than trying to buy her forgiveness, but flowers would have helped assuage her fears when she first saw him. "How… how is everything with Shane and Lori?" Beth asked, she was afraid that it might start a disagreement again but she felt it was best to get this all resolved if possible.

"Well, you saw how angry Shane was, that only lasted until he confronted Lori and now he's just… sad. All day yesterday and today he was sullen. Like, when his mom died when we were kids. I think he's mourning." Beth felt a pang for Shane, he probably was mourning. She may not like Shane but she caused the pain he was feeling. Well, more Lori than her, but she still instigated it. "But I'm still so angry with him. I requested that we be reassigned partners."

"What?" Beth gasped.

"I just can't look at him, spend ten hours a day with him every day, I need a break. It's just… Lori hated my job. She thought I'd rather work than spend time with her and Carl. And then she went and slept with my partner? And Shane... I didn't care when he tried to go after Andrea, Andrea and I are friends, we parted on good terms. Lori though, Shane saw all the pain that I went through caused by her and then decided to sleep with her?" Rick rubbed at his face before continuing, "And her abortion... Lori didn't want to have any more kids after Carl. And it makes me wonder, if she got an abortion this time, has she done it before?" Rick shook his head to get rid of his thoughts. No wonder he looked terrible if he had been thinking these thoughts for the past few days.

"And Lori, she's a crying mess. I've had Carl the last two nights while she… cries. She doesn't want Carl to know, and I don't either." Beth nodded, that was completely understandable. "It's weird seeing Lori so … fragile. And lost. It's a bit of shock to be reminded that she's human too after everything we went through in the divorce." Rick shrugged after he said that.

Beth was silent for a moment under the weight of Rick's words. "Rick, you accept my apology too, right? I really shouldn't have blurted Lori's secret like that, and I never should have hid it from you to begin with. I just... I just thought I was helping you."

"You were right, I don't know what I'm doing. I just know that I want to be with you. The past few days without you fucking sucked."

"For me too!" Beth burst. "Can we be one of those couples that never go to bed angry with each other?"

"God, yes," Rick let out a sharp laugh and pulled Beth into his arms. Beth buried her head under Rick's chin and squeezed him tight. They stayed like that for a few minutes. Beth was aware of the time, and how six o'clock was fast approaching. She really didn't want to let Rick out of her sight. Her emotions were still too raw.

"Beth... will you come over and stay tonight?" Beth didn't reply immediately, she was too surprised and pulled back to look Rick in the eyes, and Rick forged on, "After I pick up Carl I'm gonna pick up some dinner, and I'll pick up those cookies you like."

"I'll cook," Beth pulled back to look Rick in the eyes. She hadn't really eaten the last few days, she hadn't had the appetite. But now that she wasn't wallowing her body was starting to let her know how much she had been neglecting herself. Also, Beth had always thought cooking was a relaxing activity that helped calm her nerves. "I could use some comfort food." She said with a small smile.

"I missed you so much Beth," Rick said in a sign of relief. He pulled Beth back into his arms and Beth's lips sought Rick's for a kiss, finally. It was just lips pressing against lips, but it felt like a cool breeze in the desert. Like heaven. A breath of life. Rick had to feel the same, he clutched at her like he was afraid she'd disappear.

Rick left not long after they reluctantly parted. He would have to speed across town to make sure he wasn't late picking up Carl. After Lacey 'whoop-ed' (she had let Rick in the house and practically shoved the older man into her shared room with Beth), happy that Beth would no longer be a lovelorn zombie, Beth finally listened to Rick's voicemails. She was sitting on the bathroom counter waiting for the water to warm up enough for her shower when she started the first one: "Beth… Hey. I'm sorry, I never should have said that, I'm a jackass. Please call me back?" Rick left that one only a few hours after their fight.

The second was the following day: "Beth, I know you're mad, you have every right to be angry at me. I don't even know why I said that. Please… just let me apologize. Everything's a mess, and I don't know what to do. I just want to hear your voice. Call me, please?" Beth felt tears welling up in her eyes again, why hadn't she listened to these earlier? Rick sounded so… lost. Here she had been ignoring him because she was afraid of him hurting her more and in reality she was the one hurting Rick through her neglect.

The next message was from last night: "Beth… I told Carl that you and I had a fight. He was wondering why you hadn't been by the last two nights. I've had Carl while Lori… recovers from… whatever. And he got mad at me, told me that he likes you a lot and I better not do anything to fuck it up. I didn't even get mad at him for cursing." Rick pauses for a painful sounding laugh before continuing, "Look, I don't even care about Shane and Lori, not as much as I care about you. Please, let me make things right."

The last message was from this morning: "So… you haven't returned any of my calls yet. And… If I don't hear from you, I'll stop by your place after work. So if you don't want me to come by, let me know. Okay." Beth ended the voicemails and hurried into the shower. She didn't want to spend any more time without Rick.

"Beth!" Carl's excited voice greeted her as she let herself into Rick's apartment.

"Hey Carl," Beth responded as she set her purse and overnight bag down on the bar between the kitchen and the dining nook. Carl was at the small dining table with his homework spread out across most of the surface.

"You're really here!" he said like it was a pleasant surprise.

"Of course she is," Rick joined the conversation as he walked out of the hall from his bedroom. Rick must have just finished showering and changing, he was wearing jeans and a long sleeved shirt, his hair was damp and his beard was trimmed down to the stubble that Beth preferred. Rick greeted Beth with quick kiss on her lips. "I told you everything was okay," Rick finished saying to Carl.

Carl gave his dad a look that read 'oh, please.' "You and mom used to say that all the time after you fought."

Rick had a pained expression on his face, so Beth hurried to respond to Carl, "Yes, but the difference here is I don't live here, so if things weren't okay, I wouldn't be here, right?"

"Right," Carl nodded.

"Now, I'm starving, so come into the kitchen with me and update me and how everything at school is going. How are Sophia and Duane?"

Beth made an extra cheesy macaroni with bacon and leeks for dinner. Beth had kept Carl busy with grating the cheese while the noodles and bacon cooked and he told her all about Duane falling asleep in their history class.

Beth never spent the night on the nights Rick had Carl and it was a rule that Beth always respected. So she was full of nervous energy as the night ended. Carl kept giving her sly smiles and while Rick washed dishes Carl leaned over and asked, "So, you're still on track to get married, right?"

"Carl!" Beth blushed a bright red and turned to make sure Rick couldn't hear them. They were on the couch with the news playing on the TV and Rick was across the apartment in the kitchen with the water running. "C'mon, we just had a pretty big fight. We've barely recovered!"

"But you're spending the night! Soon you'll be moving in, right?"

Beth hid her red face in her hands. The kid was relentless. "Shouldn't you be brushing your teeth or something, cretin?" Four hours ago she wasn't sure she and Rick were still together, her heart couldn't take thinking about marriage right now.

"That's not a no!" Carl grinned as he bounced off the couch and went to brush his teeth.

Carl went to bed not long after, giving both Rick and Beth a hug before disappearing into his room. Rick and Beth turned in for the night after the news.

Beth was too anxious for sex, and Rick didn't seem too eager to try anything with his teenage son sleeping across the hall. Both had hardly slept the last two nights and Beth was exhausted, both physically and emotionally. So Beth was grateful when Rick pulled Beth into his arms, spooning her from behind, and was content to just hold her.

Not all their problems had resolved yet. Rick was still reeling from the betrayal of his best friend and ex-wife. Beth didn't even want to think about Lori, her anger had been pushed to the side after her fight with Rick but she was still angry with the other woman. Lying secure in Rick's arms, Beth didn't care. Things weren't perfect. The ripples of Lori's abortion and Beth's subsequent reveal were still being felt. But she had Rick, and as long as they were still together Beth knew they could handle whatever was coming next.

A/N: Beth! Stop jinxing yourself! lol.

I'm sorry to anyone who wanted Rick and Beth broken up for awhile, I just don't see either Rick or Beth giving up that easily! :)