"See the animal in its cage that you made?
Are you sure what side you are on?
Better not look too closely in the eye.
Are you sure what side of the glass you are on?
See the safety of the life you have made
Everything where it belongs
Feel the hollowness inside of your heart
And it is all
Right where it all belongs
What if everything around you
Isn't quite as it seems?
What if all the world you think you know
is an elaborate dream?
When you look at your reflection
is that all you want to be?
What if you could look right through the cracks
would you find yourself
find yourself afraid to see?
What if all the world's inside of your head.
Just creations of your own?
The devils and your gods
All the living and the dead
And you're really all alone.
You can live in this illusion
You can choose to believe
You keep looking but you can't find the words
Are you hiding in the trees?
What if everything around you
Isn't quite as it seems?
What if all the world you used to know
is an elaborate dream?
And if you look at your reflection
is that all you want to be?
What if you could look right through the cracks?
Would you find yourself
Find yourself afraid to see?" ~Right Where It Belongs by Nine Inch Nails
"Hi mommy."
"What is that?" She shrugged her shoulders. She couldn't tell her mommy.
"What?"
"Arthur says not to tell you. He says I should tell you when your mother says so."
Her smile faded. "My mother?"
"Yes."
"Never speak her name again, okay?"
"Though-"
"No this no that, never speak that name again. Go on, give that gift to me after the day is over and if you don't, then don't mention it is from her alright?"
"Okay." She said, not liking the way her mom said her mommy's name.
She was always so kind to her and especially to her baby brother, but there was something about her granny that made Tyene angry. She wondered why. Her father answered that question for her.
"Katherine met my brother when she was fifteen, he was fifteen and I was angry." The girl cocked her head, in question. "She was beautiful. I married her."
"Right away?"
"No sweetheart, I would not have dreamed of ruining her reputation or disobeying my father, your great grandfather. Henry VII was a hard man unlike me. I wanted her to but I waited and when she was mine …."
He let her finish the sentence for her.
"You were happy!"
"Yes for a while." She cocked her head. "She bedded your granddaddy." She nodded knowing the story so well. She did not believe he was bad, her granddaddy, aunt Arianne said once when she visited last year, was a passionate man and he loved her in his own way of course.
"You don't believe me?" He asked taking a grape.
"No, I do. But Aunt Arianne says good things of him. Is that bad that I believe in her too?" She pretended to be sad, it always worked with Harry and especially younger Edward when he bullied her.
"So? I think the sky is blue because what the Starks told me that we live in the eye of a giant."
"You knew the Starks?!"
"I did and you want to know a little secret?"
"Yes I promise not to tell."
"I promise I will not tell. Remember those words when you wicked your prince." That was going to be her new word. Wicked her prince.
"Yes daddy."
"When your grandmother … what is wrong honey? Don't you want to hear any more of your father's story?"
He was talking formal. That could only mean one thing. His mood swings.
"No daddy I do! But mommy gets so mad. I want to obey both of you without being bad and making you both angry. I want to be a good daughter, a good Christian Princess."
"Who says you are not? You are! In fact, far more than the rest of my daughters. They say lady Knollys is my daughter but I know she is not. She is too pliant, but you in spite of that dark hair, I know you are mine and I grow proud every day. Come here" She squealed in delight as he put his knee. It hurt but she was happy and the pain was soon gone. "When you marry your prince or your king, remember I am your father. Fathers come first."
"I will."
"And …" She was mesmerized by his words but she was no idea.
"You should dominate him as I dominate my subjects." He said and she agreed. "How are you going to dominate him? You make him fall in love with you. I fell in love with your grandmother and her cold heart was so hard I nearly hit my hand when I went there. Do not cry, I know you love her, but she was hard and she hurt me when she made your mommy four years after she gave birth to my pearl, your sister and Aunt Mary. I was happy for both. In the end it worked out well."
"Really?"
"Yes. But you must not do that. If you have affairs, make sure you are with package or else your husband will be as mean as I was when I hit your late stepmothers."
She gasped and covered her mouth. "You hit Jane?"
He smiled sardonically. Not just Jane, he thought. "She upset me. It is not woman's business to meddling in men's affairs but that was okay because I know that you have learned from their examples. You were born after them and you have seen how your mother behaves and that is important because if you were any of your stepmothers' daughter, you would be rebellious."
"But I am rebellious."
"Do not listen to what Eddie says. He is jealous. He will be King and the young one will be promoted to Duke of York, that is my will and Edward will make it so and you will be married to someone wise, gentle and strong, or you can marry to someone wiser like me."
"Nobody is like you daddy."
"Of course they are. You can marry Philip or his bastard brother."
"That sickly boy is going to die."
"Which one?" They both laughed. "They are both sickly, that is a good thing. You can give both children and then you be in control and England will be in control."
"And I will be Queen unchallenged."
"Yes." He said laughing. His daughter was his live image. Oberyn had given her, his features but her eyes were his and she was definitely a Tudor.
Thomas watched the interaction with curiosity, his son Gregory was curious about the little thing. He said she was smart and he was not wrong. She was very bright. Thomas Cromwell could make good use of her. She could make something out of herself, like a lawyer and something other than a Queen, even a Duchess who would do much better in England than abroad.
Alice danced with her sister Mary and her husband Edward. Edward was stiff, not as stiff as her brother, but stiff still. He smiled at her sister, she saw how the two cast their eyes down and Edward raised his first and smiled, a sort of weird smile that Bess called "mischievous". "He is hungry for her as she is for him."
"Why?"
"Is it not obvious?" Alice did not think so "She is in love."
"Is it love like mommy and daddy?"
"No, not really but it is still love."
Alice wondered what she meant by that.
As the dance progressed, Alice grew tired and went to the high table upon the dais. She did not think it was love. The way Mary had looked at Eddie's uncle, Sir Thomas was love –or close to it. Whatever. This was something else. Edward Seymour was cold and he only kissed her when his brother was looking or the King was. It was as if he wanted to make his brother jealous, and amuse the King.
"That is not love."
"What is it sweetheart?" Her cousin Frances asked. "Nothing." She quickly said. Frances laughed. She thought the same, she ruffled her cousin's hair and put her eldest daughter in her chair. Alice enjoyed talking to Jane. She was strong willed and had a sharp tongue and Alice loved that. But she thought that Frances didn't because she always reprimanded Jane saying things were not okay with her, but Jane being Jane told her mother she could do whatever she wanted because her father adored her and she was smart and loved unlike her mother.
Frances whispered something in her daughter's ear but Jane barked back "Why when the baker made it?" She laughed seeing her mother's horrified look but said nothing more when the Duchess of Somerset came. "Cousin Mary. You danced very well."
"Thank you lady Jane. Sister, you grew tired too quickly. Jane you want to dance with Prince Edward?"
"No. My feminine disposition makes it impossible."
"That is a shame. He would love to." Mary said genuinely happy to see her cousin, and for her to be honest. "Sister how about you?"
"I want to talk to Jane but I will before the day is over." Mary nodded and returned her attention to her husband whose hand grasped hers as they sat.
"They touch each other all the time. It is disgusting." Jane said in her low voice, smugly smiling as Edward Seymour's hand went to the place her knee was, covered by layers and layers of clothes and her blue gown.
"That is mean of you to say." Harry said, coming to sit between them. He didn't like his sister hanging out with such girls. They were vain. He was not stupid, he knew that Jane was devout and all of that but he was vain. Deep down she was vain and she pretended not to be which made it worse. "So what? Women are important too!"
"That's not the point."
"Then what is the point?"
"Girls can wear colors too." Harry decided not to argue anymore. She said that girls wore pretty colors because men wanted them and not because they wanted to. Whatever.
"So what? Is that really important when everyone knows it is the truth? Just look at your sister and aunt. He gropes her, treats her like trash and they scream like monkeys and maids say that she cries when he is out of her, and sometimes she cries Thomas Seymour's name when he is not there."
"But how can that be?"
"That is simple Your Highness. Lady Somerset is not as pious as she wants people to think. It is always the quiet ones or in her case the rebellious and hypocrite ones, who turn out be that, hypocrite."
"Says the lady who wears the most expensive clothes then chides your small sister who is only two –"
"Going on three." Jane interrupted.
"Going on three." Harry said through gritted teeth. "That she is a harlot for dressing richly and wanting more things."
"Because duh Harry as you say, a dumb expression by the way, we must set an example. We are the older ones. You are your brother's oldest sibling, and you will be your eldest brother's heir until he has an heir. Therefore we can dress as we want, just as long as we set an example."
"That doesn't make sense."
"Maybe not to you." Jane said calmly, smirking when he glared at her.
She and Alice giggled.
Harry shook his head. Girls were impossible.
"What are you doing little brother?" Edward the older, Prince of Wales and Duke of Cornwall asked his youngest brother who was playing on the floor with a red snake. He looked at his wet-nurse. "Does this happen often? Does my father know about this?"
"He doesn't Your Highness but Her Majesty, your lady stepmother said it was alright. He loves that toy."
"Thanks, I can see that." He said, his lips twisting in disgust as his brother kissed the serpent's head. "I am going to speak with the Queen myself. He should not be playing with these toys."
"But don't take it away. He really loves that toy."
"I am not an idiot, I heard you the first time. Sorry little brother but this toy is not for you." John started crying but Edward did not pay him any heed and turned his back on them and walked to the Queen's chamber.
Tyene commanded her ladies respect through her smile. Like her sister told her, use that smile of yours and they will follow you like lost puppies. Because that was how English women loved their companions, and how men loved their women. To be docile, pliant, sweet. Never mind that it was them who run their households, who got them out of trouble when no one else would.
"Yes?" She asked quietly when she heard a knock on her door.
"It is the Prince of Wales, Madame."
"Let him come in."
Her stepson curtsied to her. "Edward was a pleasant surprise. May I invite you for an evening of poetry? What is that?" Her eyes fell on the plush red snake toy he was handing. "Edward, I did not know you loved to play with toys. You should have told me, I have plenty more made for my sons. I can order some for you when the toy maker comes."
"No. I don't like playing toys, I never did but your sons do, especially John. Why did you give him this thing?"
"Me? I didn't do such thing. Must have been Harry or younger Eddie."
"Do not play the fool with me Madame. I know what you teach your daughter and I know what you are teaching John. It is a good thing that my father didn't catch him playing with this abomination or he would have tan his hide."
She would love to see him try. If Henry touched one hair of her children's heads, she'd kill him.
He threw the toy, knocking down the table where her glass was. Her mindless ladies squealed in horror and jumped from their chairs.
"This is a sin. Snakes are evil, they kill and cheat."
"Just like real people." Tyene said calm. "Won't you like to sit down instead Edward? Frances please tell the servants to bring more wine and an extra cup for His Highness."
"I prefer to stand. You teach John and my sister all this useful stuff and refuse to convert to the true faith. If you weren't Queen, my father would have you burned."
"A queen's body is sacred just as the King's, she cannot be burned."
"Guinevere was nearly burned for adultery."
"An imaginary queen just as the king your worship. Your father. Does he knows that you throw your stepmother's son's toys at her?"
"I didn't throw you toys, speak clearly and honestly lady stepmother."
"Well, I am glad that we are speaking honestly because I will speak honestly to you. I don't like you and these women can go and tell your lord father I said that, I don't care. What I care is my health and I cannot stress enough to you how it pains me every time I see you. I remember my rival and no it is not your deceased mother but the woman I am told I have to be. My lady mother. When I went to the North everyone shouted her name and not out of love for me. At first I thought it was but then when someone said 'accept Katherine of Aragon' in my heart, he said, I realized I would never get rid of her memory. Just as your lord father will never get rid of yours."
"My lady mother died giving birth to me, it is completely different from your mother."
"Is it? Did you know that lady Jane used to trot around the gardens and play until hours end with her sister Elizabeth? They said the two were so close they were almost in love."
"How dare you!"
"Do not shout at me. I am just repeating what the others said. She might have had something for your uncles and she favored my sister so much, it is small wonder they fight like wolves they are for her."
Edward squeezed his fists at her.
"Go ahead take a swing. Like I said, you can say things to your father about me, we have no more secrets but do not interfere with my children's upbringing. They are my children, I bore them, felt their kicks and turns. They are mine."
"You are wrong there Your Majesty. The children are children of the state, and your eldest son Harry my heir until I have one when I become King. He will be mine to sell and trade and same with your daughter."
"Don't you dare mess with my family life Edward," she said quietly, her grin fading. Her tone was amusing to him because it was so calm yet her eyes spoke of pure hatred for him and his maternal family. "They are mine. Mine and all mine. When they were born I swore I d hate them but instead I loved them and love them is what I shall continue to do until there is not a drop of blood left in my body. They are my children. I bore them, nursed at my breast when your lord father and the rest were not looking. I dismissed the wet-nurses when they were one until he found out and I was forced to part from them. When Alice was born, I was so lonely and I could have turned to other men but I didn't. I stayed loyal to your father. And I always will because his interests benefit my interests and yours. I know you hate me and you know I hate you. But we don't have to be enemies. You want your father's crown, that is fine but until you get it. You and I are just going to have to put up with each other."
"Why do you insist on marrying me to the Queen of Scotland, then?"
"I hate you, doesn't mean I am against you. What benefits you advances my children and that is all I care Edward."
"Not revenge?" He asked, the seven year old raising an eyebrow skeptically.
"Revenge? Why would I want that?" She asked, shocked.
Edward did not believe her but he said no more. Her servants came with wine and fresh fruit and cheese, and seconds later the musicians came as well playing to their amusement
Edward forgot how much he enjoyed these and he enjoyed others laughing, including the cold hearted beauty of his stepmother. What was she thinking? He thought. Why was she so cold? There were times when Edward understood her and other times when he did.
She was a scary puzzle.
Meanwhile in King's Landing, Margery was struggling to get along with her mother-in-law. Her first pregnancy resulted in a miscarriage and another one and another one after that. "She doesn't bleed. She must be barren." People said and she did not miss what was said behind her back.
She was committed to have Tommen, to convince him she was the only woman for her but every time he promised her he would defend her, he broke her heart. Margery was not a romantic person but she believed in karma. The gods told her that she would be Queen, it had to be true. Her father raised her to be a Queen, her lady grandmother believed that she could live up to the task and she always smiled and gave charity and stood by, sitting quietly, without uttering a word except smiling down on the poor people and orphans who greeted her when she went to build another temple for the Mother Goddess and the Maiden.
She had a deep reverence for the Mother Goddess. She who sacrificed her own son, who represented the most important aspect of womanhood: sons. A woman to give sons to her husband, gave her strength and never let her lose sight of what was important: the Iron Throne. She was not like Daenerys Targaryen who wanted to rule for herself, she was Margaery Tyrell, a woman like Queen Katherine whom her lady grandmother met and said she reminded her of her, who sat by pliantly and won accolades an clerics just by her smile. It didn't matter that scandal followed her, that people still doubted of the validity of her second marriage, if people said that her first marriage was consummated and that the reason why she showed herself bored at the following wedding receptions was because he couldn't fulfill the entire deed. It didn't matter that Friar Diego violated her –or so they said- or she seduced him. Whatever the truth, she was a modern woman who rose above the tide, who ate the meanness of her rivals with her sweetness. And that was the kind of woman that Margaery was raised to be. A Katherine, not a Cersei.
But there were times when her faith faltered, when her ambition wavered. Was she doing the right thing? The Queen Dowager was playing a dangerous game setting the nobles against each other. She was a powerful woman, but one who was not very intelligent. She heard Littlefinger seven years back when she was only sixteen and still insecure and a pawn in her father and grandmother's games, that she was the kind of person who craved power all her life but once she got it, she did not knew what to do with it. Yes, that is Cersei alright. But was it her fault? She had loved once, craved others as she craved Tommen. Was she really so evil? Margaery turned away from the window. Cersei was speaking with her husband again. Likely telling lies about her, or trying to convince him to leave her for someone else. The French King offered many noblewomen of royal lineage whom Tommen had shown interest. Margaery threw herself at his knees and asked to go home, for she had displeased him for marrying him. He was her brother-in-law and in the eyes of many that was incest. But Tommen bought her little trick and told her to get up but she wouldn't until he helped her up. Because –she told him- only a man can lift a woman up as he can raise her. Tommen had raised her as he had done with her family, but he could also abandon her. With all their money, they were no match for the Lannisters. Tommen was not like his brother who threatened everyone without thinking twice of the consequences. He thought things through carefully and he believed himself a golden lion, not one pampered and spoiled like his brother but a golden one who would usher in a new age. And until recently it donned on Margaery that he took his responsibilities seriously for he hardly let her or his lady mother, anywhere near the Small Council anymore.
It was as if Tommen had grown up faster than they had realized, and he was finally showing his true strength and Margaery didn't like it. Lions were fierce animals. Roses had thorns and they could trap and ensnare a lion, but if the lion was smart enough to know his own strength, then nothing would trap him. He could trap others, manipulate others to fall in the trenches and be wrapped around the thorns so he could walk all over them.
That was the kind of man she married. A man with no boundaries, no limits and secrets. Tommen was an open book, he claimed, everyone could read him. But she knew better. And that scared her.
Mary saw the light when she was four. That was her earliest memory of the sun. Her father said that she remembered everything from when she was born because when they asked her something, she said she remembered it. But she didn't. She remembered pushing the Dauphin Francois to the ground because that was so important to her father, but she didn't remember if it was night or day. She remembered her mother telling her that was uncalled for, while smiling behind her, thinking her daughter would not notice as she brushed her hair in front of her vanity. She remembered a strange man coming from afar, introducing himself as the Prince of Dorne. She remembered herself asking why he wasn't a king like normal people and he, laughing at her, said that kings were unnecessary if the people didn't respect them. She remembered laughing at him as well and telling him he was weird. But that was all. What happened next she couldn't remember –or didn't want to- but one thing she did remember was when she woke up for her fifth birthday. The curtains were drawn, the sun hit her eyes. She asked about her mother's whereabouts but all she got were tears from her ladies. She looked for her mother everywhere but she was nowhere to be seen. When she came back it was late, the sun was still up but somehow she didn't feel its heat radiating on her. When she finally saw her lady mother, she was wearing a loose black and silver gown with gold and pearl necklaces that read the bottom of it and her hair was disheveled.
She asked her what was wrong but her favorite lady-in-waiting, lady Willoughby, told her she had to stay back because her lady mother wasn't feelings well. If she wasn't feeling well, she told the lady Willoughby, then she could see her and give her a kiss so it could all be better. But the lady Willoughby didn't let her come near her. Later when her father came to visit, she told her what was wrong with her mother, and he said it was probably a fever or something minor but she didn't believe it. She knew something was wrong. It had to be.
Two weeks later, the prince had left and with him, he took a "small surprise" her lord father said. She was too young to know what that was. The Prince had stayed with them for almost a year. In that time she had seen him with her mother, talking endlessly about wars, their ancestress and their childhood. Apparently they'd known each other. She confessed that when her parents took her to King's Landing, it was with the intention to marry the last dragon, Prince Rhaegar Targaryen. But there was something in him that her lady grandmother didn't like, and neither did her grandfather (the King of Aragon) so they took her mother back to Spain where they hoped that the King of England wouldn't be insulted by that visit.
"If it was up to me. I would have said no either. But I wanted to hear it from my parents first. I always obeyed my parents, always been a dutiful child but I am not completely submissive. I speak my mind when it is necessary. Seeing the dragon Prince, I knew I could never be happy with him. It wasn't God's will." She remembered her lady mother telling Prince Oberyn. Prince Oberyn laughed and whispered something in her ear which made her cheeks go red.
She had never seen her lady mother this happy before. She was too young to know what their words meant, or what their touch, when he put his hand on top of hers or she on his, signified.
After he left, things went back to normal with one exception. Her lady mother was rarely seen. Her lord father told her he punished her. She asked him for what, and he told her for sleeping with the Prince of Dorne. Mary did not want to believe him, she wanted to cry. Her father shook her and told her "Do not cry. You are a Princess of England and God keeps cursing me, my pearl and my only angel and Queen of England someday. You mustn't show weakness, even to me."
She never dared ask her lady mother if what her lord father said was true. She just assumed it was. As the years went by though, and he got closer to his mistresses and finally decided to seek an annulment from her mother (without mentioning the affair); she realized that her lord father was lying. That there had been no affair but her father could not tolerate competition. He was a jealous creature. He saw her lady mother as a possession, nothing else. She sided with her mother naturally, and the two became closer than ever. When she died, she was still serving Elizabeth and Cromwell to boast of her mother's incestuous union with her father, threw the jeweled cross she had left her in her possession at her feet then picked it up. All the furs and valuables that she left Mary, were given back to the Crown. She was allowed to have nothing except the memory of her.
When her lord father said of his intention of remarrying, a month after Jane Seymour's death, however, everything changed. It turned out that everything he said about her lady mother, was true. She did cheat on him. It was a slap in the face for her and the Catholic Church, and everything her lady mother ever stood for. But most of all for her. To find the woman you honored and nearly gave your life for, was everything everyone said, a whore.
She could not love Tyene. She was intent on hating her and making her life impossible. She didn't say so much as a hello and wanted to beat her until she died. She wanted to tear those strawberry blond locks from her hair. Why was she younger than her, most of all why did she get to take their lady mother's position and inherit her hair-color? It was not fair. But when she saw her on the bed, displayed like a naked monkey in an exhibit on the royal menagerie in the Tower, her heart broke. This was not the evil women Mary thought her to be. She was just a girl, a teenager as she had been when she was told she could no longer call herself Princess. Perhaps younger.
Tyene was her sister and like Mary, she was a victim of their parents' ambition. Her lord father who adored her and was so proud of her, had never shown his face. And he probably never will. He was the same as her father. Someone who claimed he loved you, but when the odds turned against you, he left.
Trastamara girls had to stick together. They were also Lancastrian. True Lancastrian –Mary thought. Their mother descended from a legitimate Lancastiran line. The most pure too. They were Burgundian, Valois. Trastamara, Lancastiran and in her case Tudor. Even if the Tudor's blood was stained with illegitimacy; they descended from Welsh Princess, all the way down to Prince Arthur Pendragon himself. They were dragons and lions. Red dragons and golden lions. Tyene however; was a snake. She never identified herself as a dragon. Her father's family hated the Dragons. Like their maternal grandmother, they tried to conquer the "savages", and unlike Isabella when she conquered over the Infidels, they failed. The rule of Daeron I was short. He and his Marcher Lord, Lord Tyrell, died in a bed of scorpions. The Nazari were not united and they fell under their grandmother's swords. But the Martells were. Their blood, it was said, was fire. And nobody would conquer them. Their ancestress was the foreigner Nymeria, ruler of the Rhoyne whose homeland was invaded by the silver and golden haired Valyriasn with their ungodly beasts. She married Mors Martell, one of many rulers in a divided Dorne. After she became his co-ruler, she burned her ships so no one would escape. As their grandmother Isabella, Nymeria was both cruel and gentle. She could be merciful to her subjects, but she could be equally ruthless to those who defied her. Together, they united Dorne and since then, Dorne has never been conquered again. One of Tyene's ancestors was said to have taken down the youngest of Aegon I's sisters and wives, and beheaded her. And also killed her dragon with her bare hands. This had to be an exaggeration because from what Mary heard from her governesses, dragons were massive creatures. She had to have used another method.
Whatever that method was, it was effective. The Targaryens submitted. Even when Daeron ruled, he was never happy because people always rebelled to his rule. When he and his Marcher Lord were poisoned and he was succeeded by Baelor the Blessed who walked barefooted to Dorne as proof of his piety; he could not force the Dornish to submit either. They willingly gave up instead and reached an according with the Targaryens. They would acknowledge the Dragon Kings as their overlords but would never bend the knee to them. They would give them their armies, but would not give up their autonomy. Their laws, their beliefs would remain. Since Dorne believed in the Seven, that was not a problem but autonomy was. The dragon kings were proud and were not about to settle for this, until their Hands convinced them otherwise. Tyrells as the Trastamaras with the vanquished Nazari kingdom, hated Dorne, but could not conquer them. It was easier to reach a truce then have nothing at all.
When Mary heard of her Tyene's family history, she could not help but be impressed and a little envious. If she had been borne in any other place but England, she would have been recognized as a worthy ruler and her father would have never thought of remarrying. Tyene would have never had to suffer. She would have remained with her father, oblivious of her maternal ancestry. Content and happy.
We are women, she thought. It is not in our nature to be happy. God put forth a lot of obstacles for them, to prove themselves. Not to punish us, she told her sister. But her sister seemed less hopeful these days. She was happy with her eldest sister's visit, but the way she continuously referred to her father and their mother, scared Mary.
She looked besides her at the crib where her one year old twin boys were sleeping. Their heads were golden as their father, and their eyes dark grey as hers. If it wasn't for their eyes, she would not have thought of them as hers. She felt guilty after Ned came home. A secret part of her wished she hadn't so she could spend more time with Thomas. She steeled herself as soon as he entered the birthing chamber. Her chambermaids and army of midwives told her he was not allowed, but he dared them to say that to him again. They let him in right away. He squeezed her hand, he was as nervous as her but he didn't show it. His enthusiasm to receive what he believed was his firstborn son, was greater. His first children by his first wife were deemed illegitimate because it was said they were not his, but his father's. Tyene and Mary knew better. They saw the boys being presented at court, swearing an oath never to reclaim their birthright. Any blind man could see they were Edward Seymour's. Especially the eldest, he walked and talked like him. There was nothing of the late lecherous John Seymour in them. He had been dark haired, pale-skinned and with eyes the color of sapphire like his younger children, Thomas and Henry. The boys had none of John Seymour in them. But their father could not see that. He was ruthless in his prosecution. They were not his and they would never see a dime from him as long as he lived. It was a sad fate, Mary thought when she first learned of it. And this is the man I married, the man I screamed his name when he made love to me.
No, not love. She told herself. Fuck. I fuck hard Mary.
That is what he said, and that is what he did. It was always a process with him, and when she gave birth to their twin boys he held the eldest in his arms, calling him his heir and the youngest, his proud defender.
He will never love me. And I will never love him. But he pleases me and makes me feel whole when he is inside me. That should be enough. But it wasn't. She wanted more out of life than pleasure. She wanted to be happy, like her lady mother was before her lord father turned against her.
She picked the first one and nestled him against her breast. She lifted her thin chemise and gave him a little nudge on his shoulder to wake him up. He opened his eyes and she pushed him gently up. She whimpered and bit her lower lip.
It hurt.
She didn't think it would hurt this much. It disappeared. Full, he drew his lips and closed his mouth. There was a twinkle in his eyes as he raised his head to look at her. He stared at her, moving his head sideways then becoming stoic again. He is just as Edward. She realized. Both of them were. They complimented each other. They had her eyes, that is how she knew they were hers but they were Edward's entirely in everything else, including in spirit.
She placed him back with her brother and went back to her bed. Edward would arrive soon to check on them with the physician and check on their progress. During that time she would pretend to be asleep, and listen to Edward give silent and cold commands to the doctor and their servants. Edward was a traditional man. He did not like male physicians seeing naked women, or in her state. He considered it disgraceful.
That attitude frustrated her. How was it he could violate the rules but no one else could? Was he jealous? No, that was not it. She didn't consider him the jealous type. But he knew what he wanted and he got it. And once he did, he made sure to make it his and only his.
Hearing the door open, Mary closed her eyes and prepared herself for another boring routine of hearing Edward and the physician speak of their children, and their servants receive cold commands from him.
It wasn't Edward who entered her chambers. Thomas gave one look to her before shifting his eyes to his nephews. Ned's children –he thought. He had many children. How many? He never thought to guess. They seemed very unimportant. He just knew they were in every corner of every palace and village with every woman he had slept with. Including Anne Stanhope. He hated that woman, but he loved making Ned angry. He wanted him to feel a piece of his dream taken away by his brother whose bastard was going to take everything he ever wanted. But when he told Ned about it, he was actually happy. It took his mind off Anne and made him focus on the woman he was screwing at the time.
His brother's conquests surprised him. They were all timid, shy and insecure girls whom he would have never thought capable of such things. And neither did his brother. But his brother, it seemed, was full of surprises.
He wanted to take a step further and wake up Mary but as his hand reached out to her back, he decided against it, and left.
Tyene dropped her head back against the soft pillow. Enchanting, intoxicating scents brought her native Dorne. How she missed them! And what was more, her cousin had sent her flowers. Her favorite kind. Jasmine. Dorne had a long tradition of trading with the Turks and Essos, and to the farther East, with the Summer Isles, the Yiti Empire and farther East than that, China.
She missed the aroma of those places. She had never visited them but had seen many emissaries from those lands come to Sunspear, bringing tribute to her uncle and to Arianne, the future ruler of Dorne.
One day my children will. Harry was a smart boy, but he was too English. He believed that he could do anything. He had to be humbled. He loved his youngest siblings, especially Alice and John. The latter two were very close to him, and like him, close to Mary as well. It was Edward the younger though, that dreamed of exploring the world. He was arrogant and had a terrible temper like his father, and loved to make fun of everyone too. She would have to discipline him. When she did, she will tell him tales of these far places, and instill on him the love of exploration. He would become like her Portuguese ancestors and her half-sister Sarella, a navigator and a hero for his country.
She got underneath the covers. No more children. She told her uncle in her last letter. She had done her duty, played the dutiful wife and gave Henry three perfectly healthy boys and one daughter. That was enough.
He will have to understand. She was not his pawn to move on the chessboard as he pleased. She was her own person. She had sacrificed her happiness and her health for his games. She had done enough. Her children will play an intricate part in the degradation of the Lannister House and their enemies. She was not going to do anymore.
Her role was finished.
Putting her mind at rest she closed her eyes. She opened them feeling someone climb on the bed. "Alice? What are you doing here?"
"Jane's mom, cousin Frances wants her to stay with her and her daddy tonight. I thought I could stay with you."
"Alice, you are seven years old, old enough to sleep in your bed. You don't have to come sleep with me every time you are scared."
"I am not scared, I just don't like sleeping in my room alone."
"That is called being scared." Tyene said. "Fine, you can sleep here for today-"
"And tomorrow?"
"And tomorrow. But that is it. Next time you sleep alone, okay?"
"Yes lady mother." She said smiling openly at her mother.
"Get under the covers. That's it. Now come here." Alice wrapped her arms around her mother's waist. Tyene did the same.
"I love you sweetheart."
"I love you too mommy."
"Go to sleep."
"Mommy?"
"Yes?"
"Are you going to be here when my groom arrives?"
"I will and no one will marry you without my permission."
"Daddy says-"
"Your lord father says many things but I will have the last say. Whether he likes it or not. I will never let you out of my sight, never. Just as I will not let Harry, Eddie and John."
"But what someone wants to send us away to be kings and queens?"
"You will be kings and queens. You, me, and your brothers. Together we will build a dynasty that will last a thousand years as the Targaryens intended with theirs. People will be whispering our names long after we are gone and our bones have turned to dust."
"But I don't want to be famous. I just want to be with you, and make you and daddy happy."
"You will make us happy by staying here where we" she said, while in her mind she thought of herself –and only herself- protecting her little girl "will protect you."
"And if I want to marry someone?"
"You will get to marry someone sweetheart but that won't be for a long time and it will be someone you love, and someone mommy chooses for you."
"But what if I don't get to love him."
"You will my darling girl. I know you sweetheart, and I will only choose the best for you." And for your brothers, she added mentally. She kissed Alice's forehead then closed her eyes.
Alice closed her eyes after her, unsure what to make of this. On the one hand she was happy she would not have to leave, but on the other she was sad she would not get to become queen and duchess like her daddy wanted and secure English alliances to help her brothers. Maybe she was not destined to, or maybe she had a greater path.
She let these thoughts vanish as she was taken to the land of Morpheus.