Day 4 : Cooper
For the short time that Cooper had been away, he had been able to forget. Focus on the price of basic groceries and not on the increasingly disturbed state of his little brother. Nonetheless, he had ensured that he had bought all of Blaine's favourites, whilst avoiding anything that Kurt had liked. Remove all possible triggers, he thought and maybe he could have just one day when a kind of normality resumed. Now, driving home, Cooper contemplated on just how he could make things better; get his brother back out of his dark funk and into the light of the land of the living. The reaction to Brittany's gift had given him some, albeit fleeting, hope for the future. He could even hazard a smile as he turned into the street.
Almost instantly, that smile was wiped off his face by the scene before him. He brought the car to a halt next to the sobbing form of Sam Evans. Walked over to him, tentatively whispering his name. Sam looked up, his face a map of grief and pain, then promptly bolted for his car, before Cooper could even speak again. He proceeded to tear off, well in excess of the speed limit, leaving Cooper aghast. Something had gone badly wrong. That much was obvious. And then he became aware of the noise of something breaking, coming from the house, and he was running, car and groceries abandoned. Past a lawn decorated with books and clothing, through the door, up the stairs and straight into his brother's room.
"Blaine, what on earth…?" began Cooper. His brother span round, his face a seething red, his rage unveiled. The book that was in his hand was suddenly launched at Cooper, missing his head by inches. Before he could pick anything else up, Cooper darted forward, and tackled Blaine back on to the bed, pinning his arms to his side. Arms that seemed determined to fight….and Cooper finally lost it. "What the hell, Blaine? What has got into you? I know you're grieving but throwing the contents of your room out of the window…? That's insane. Just insane. Throwing it at me - not a good idea, Squirt. Because I am pretty much all you've got just now, seeing as you're determined to drive everyone else that cares about you away with your behaviour. I mean, what on earth did you do to Sam? He's supposed to be your best friend, yet he just tore off like a bat out of hell….."
Then he realised that Blaine was no longer struggling to get free. His body was still shaking, but with sobs. Sobs interspersed with mumbled apologies. "I want to help you, I really do Blaine," said Cooper, choking back his own tears, "but I can't when you are like this. I love you so much, but it's starting to get too much for me. I know this is hard, but it is just as hard for me. I loved Kurt too Blaine. I'm grieving for him too, but what's worse is that I can see you vanishing before my eyes, Blaine. I'm scared that I'm going to lose you. I wish that I could do more, but I can't" With that, Cooper found himself crying, matching his brother sob for sob.
Eventually, Blaine calmed down, but remained silent to all of Cooper's questions about events with Sam. The more he pushed, the more agitated he became. Cooper did realise one thing - he needed peace to deal with the aftermath of the latest visitor to the Anderson household. So he resorted to something that filled him with guilt. On arriving back to the house from New York, Cooper had found in the medicine cabinet a box of sleeping powders that their mother had been prescribed some months before. Now he made one up for Blaine, who unknowingly drank it down. Minutes later he was curled up fast asleep on his bed, allowing Cooper a chance to retrieve the shopping, and to gather up the items scattered around the garden. To restore some semblance of order to his brother's room. And to finally make a call to get some much needed advice.
Since the death of his son, Burt Hummel had placed his life on hold. Congressional business was ignored, his garage unvisited. A major problem had arisen when his assistant at Congress had resigned; but replacing her was on hold. He had to grieve first. He worried of course for his son's friends; for Carole, facing this trauma so soon again after Finn, and most of all, for Blaine. He knew how close the two boys had been. Far too close in a way for his liking, and all he was hearing about the way Blaine was acting was giving him cause for concern. That concern was about to be raised another notch.
Sam had been staying with the Hummel's since just before the funeral. When he had announced that he wasn't heading back to New York as he wanted to stay close to Blaine, Burt had been pleased. His presence made the house feel less empty, gave Carole someone to look after. His sudden return that afternoon, preceded by the terrible screeching of brakes, made Burt start. The slamming front door, the thunder of feet as they charged upstairs all added up to only one thing - trouble. Following Sam upstairs, he was startled to find the blond boy sobbing his heart out on the floor of the guest room, flinching as Burt placed a hand on his shoulder. Then sobbing into his chest. No words were exchanged; Burt knew where he had been, so accepted that as the cause of his misery. Eventually, he seemed to calm, then announced, "I need to pack. I'm going back to New York. Today. The sooner the better."
Burt knew in his heart that their was no point in arguing with him - something had happened whilst he had been with Blaine to upset him so much that he could no longer bear to stay in Lima. All he could do was to offer to drive him to the airport when he was ready to go. Sam expressed his thanks and Burt left him to start his packing. He fully intended to press Sam for details on the way to the airport. Get to the root of his rushed departure. He was considering this as the phone began to ring. It was Cooper, and he, like Sam, was in a state.
"I don't think that I can carry on like this for much longer Burt. He just keeps on getting worse, pushing everyone away, but today was the worst so far. I left him with Sam for no more than half an hour - I came back to find Sam sobbing on the sidewalk and Blaine throwing the contents of his bedroom out of the window. I had to physically restrain him Burt to stop him throwing things at me. The only reason that I can even talk to you now is that I gave him one of our mother's sleeping powders. I had to drug my brother, Burt. I feel so guilty, but I had no option. I'm so tired and he's just - I have this horrible feeling that he is going to end up in an asylum. I need help, but my parents are useless, and in this instance, so am I."
Cooper burst into an uncontrollable bout of sobbing at this point. Yet he managed to somehow carry on. "The worst thing of all, Burt, is that I feel that the old Blaine is gone, for good. That no matter what I do, my old brother is gone, replaced by a new, nasty version. His mental state has changed so drastically. I've seen him at low points before; after he was attacked at the Sadie Hawkins dance - but that was nothing like this. I hate myself for saying this, even thinking it - but I wish that he had died that night with Kurt. It would have been better for him, for all of us. I hate the idea, but…it would have been better…."
"I know how you can feel that, Cooper. You shouldn't beat yourself up for it. The poor kid is broken, destroyed by a pain, a grief that no-one should ever have to feel, let alone a teenager. He blames himself, Cooper. I'd say I know him reasonably well; he'll be blaming himself for all of this. He's lashing out at everyone else because he can't understand why we aren't blaming him. Every time he does it though, it makes him hate himself even more. I don't know what went down with Sam today, but he's upstairs, packing. To go back to New York, today. But he'll mend; he has the others. Problem with Blaine is that only one person can fix him. The one person that can't come and help him - Kurt."
Burt continued. "I'm not saying that drugging Blaine was the best thing you could have done in this situation. If he is having nightmares, then basically you've just locked him into them for a few hours. Then again, his life is a bit of a living nightmare just now. If it gives you peace to collect your thoughts, get things done then maybe it's ok. I'll talk to Carole for you, get a more professional opinion. Maybe she knows someone at the hospital who could talk to Blaine, as a favour to a colleague, seeing as your darn parents won't face up to their responsibilities and help. If there is anyone at fault in all of this Cooper, it's them. At least you're around."
After a few more minutes talk and profuse thanks from Cooper, the younger man rang off to go and tidy the garden, leaving Burt staring at the phone. His heart felt heavy, burdened with his own pain, and that of Blaine. And then there was poor innocent Sam, running off to New York. The attack and its aftermath was slowly tearing everyone, everything apart. The ripples still rolled out, unleashing hurt. The majority of those caught up in the maelstrom were so young, so unprepared for it. They had barely survived the death of Finn; the death of Kurt had battered them; Blaine's breakdown was shattering much that had survived the storm so far. Burt's thoughts were interrupted by the appearance of Sam, packed and ready. His eyes red and hollow.
On the drive to the airport, Burt managed to get Sam to open up and tell him what had taken place. To say that Burt was shocked by what he heard would have been an understatement. That Blaine could turn on his best friend in such a way… And the whole notion of Kurt Unicorn was disturbing. The boy needed professional help. If it could not be got for free, then he would pay for it. He owed it to Kurt to take care of Blaine, before it was too late. Maybe it already was. As he watched Sam vanish into the terminal, Burt resolved not to tell Cooper what had taken place that day. It would only make things worse - and he was starting to feel that maybe Cooper was right. Maybe it would have been better if they had both died.
Cooper made the most of his time whilst Blaine slept. He tidied the garden and sorted out his brother's room. He tried in vain to reach his parents, eventually talking to their housekeeper, who seemed more concerned for his and Blaine's health than his parents ever had, asking that he gave her love to Blaine. After that, he slept himself for a few hours, waking just before the medication would wear off. Before he knew what he was doing, he was making up a second sleeping draught and giving it to Blaine to drink. To get himself another 8 hours of tranquillity; the change to recharge and to think. Did he really want to send Blaine to a psychiatrist? And if he did, could he live with himself if he ended up being locked away?
It was late when Sam knocked on the door at Bushwick. It took a few minutes to eventually rouse Santana from her bed to let him in. she gave him a quizzical look, then just said "Blaine?" The next thing she knew she had a sobbing Sam in her arms as Rachel and Brittany looked on, before eventually coming over to wrap their own arms around him in a group hug. Things seemed to be getting worse as time went on; only the strength that they got from each other was keeping them going and pulling them through. Once Brittany had gone back to bed, Sam told a shocked Santana and Rachel what had happened, leaving them horror struck. They were out of their depth on this. The time had come to bring in someone with the necessary specialist knowledge to aid their grieving friend.