Grovyle: Guys...?
Toonie Sama: *Arguing with tetra* Well maybe if YOU didn't didn't eat the last oreo, we wouldn't be in this mess!
Pirate princess: DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED. YOU PIGGED OUT ON ALL THE OTHER ONES!
Teen girl Madallus: *Walks in nomming an oreo*
*A whole war breaks out over an oreo*
Grovyle: GUYS, WE HAVE OVER 500 VIEWS ALREADY!
*they stare blankly in the destruction they caused*
Grovyle: Anyway, we must give out cookies! Cookies for reviewers!
*KaguTheGreat gets a cookie*
*ROFLCOPTER gets a cookie*
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Spirit Tracks Derailed
Chapter 11: Fullmetal tracks and Train terrors
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Link, of course, IGNORED the jar with the tears of light, saying that because the jar was in a sacred area, it must be ancient, and therefore, he shouldn't destroy it.
Zelda, of course, in response to this, flew into him, taking control of his body.
"You're hopless!" Zeldas voice echoed inside of Links mind.
"Zelda, Y-you don't have to do this...!" Link pleaded. "I-it's just a jar, you don't need to break it!"
Of course, only links voice could be heard outside of his mind. Links face gave a terrified expression.
"So she really can possess other people..." The ghost of Link stared, scared. Even though this could never happen to him.
"Huh... Does that mean we can do that?" Tetra asked.
"Beats me." He answered, crossing his arms.
They watched as the prince smashed the pottery against his own will.
Zelda left Links body, and he fell to the floor. "Big sis, why would you do such a thing..."
Zelda floated upside-down in front of his face. "Because shut up."
Link stood up slowly and- "OOH!" He scooped up the three tears of light, and did his normal treasure-getting pose.
"These are shiny!" He sang to the tune of the little DA DA DA DAAAAAH! noise.
With that, the Tears of Light suddenly reacted to the sword that the new recruit, the red-headed one, had given him earlier.
The sword started glowing golden.
The prince gasped in awe. "It's so pretty!" He held it like he was about to do a skyward strike, but... that's not a thing now, so he just held it in front of him.
"What does this mean?" He asked the ghost of his great great grandfather.
The Tears of Light were never explained to any of them.
"Uhh..." He thought, "I'll ask Anjean..."
He floated through the bottom of the floor and disappeared.
"What do we do if the Hourglass Phantom comes back?" The current Link asked.
Tetra was searching around the room.
"AHA!" She startled them, as she floated over to a purple, sparkly patch of ground.
"AH!" The royal twins screamed, then realize that it's just their great great grandmothers ghost. Totally normal, nothing weird going on.
"You kids know what this is, right?" The ghost grandma asked.
"Shiny?" Link guessed.
Zelda raised her hand. "Ooh! It's a safe zone, created in case of the phantoms going haywire!"
The ghost put a mark on a chalkboard under Zeldas name. Zelda had many under hers, whilst Link had only five, There were a few other names of people we can only assume to be relatives.
"Great great grannyma, you're keeping track of who's the better decendant!" Link pointed, getting the attention of the phantom...
"INTWUDAW AWLAAAWRT!" The phantom screamed, sounding identicle to Strongmad. (Strongbad, the game you never thought your own mother would own and play while you were asleep as a child)
Link screamed as the thing was scary, and ran to the safe zone. Zelda screamed out of frustration with her idiot brother, And Tetras ghost screamed to make sure the others had succeeded in causing everyone in the sorrounding area to lose all hearing.
When in the safe zone, a ghostly hand reached through the wall and-
The trio screamed again for the same specific reasons.
"GAWRD GAWRD!" The phantom yelled, announcing that he was on guard duty.
"Hey guys, I just learned what the golden teardrops are for!" The hero of winds, whom the ghostly hand belonged to, announced.
...
Elsewhere, the two owners of Hyrules music shop gazed into some magic mirrors...
"Hey Grovyle?" Kagu asked, watching our heroes in her mirror. "What's on your mirror?"
Grovyle pointed at hers, and whatever was on it was paused. "Just some cheesy old cartoons..."
A knock was heard at the door as the two scrambled to hide any evidence of witchcraft.
It was just the new recruit from earlier, as it turns out.
"Hey Sumer..." Grovyle waved.
"Ou yay inally fay ave gay er hay a ay ame nay?" Kagu whispered.
"Es yay." Grovyle whispered back.
The recruit apparently named Sumer took out a clipboard. "Which one of you ordered a train?"
"EEEEEE! It's finally here!" Grovyle squealed, signing the papers on the clipboard. She then bolted out the door, leaving many questions unanswered.
"How in the name of Hylia did she order a train when she spends all her rupees on sketchbooks and chocolate?!" Kagu wondered
...
"And then you can take them out. Just like that." The ghost of a hero explained. "And that's it. That's all you need to do apparently."
The prince nodded and stepped out of the safe zone, and snuck behind the phantom. He then, with a carefully aimed strike, struck the phantom in the back.
"WHAAAT AWRRRE YOU DOOOOWWWIIIINNNNGGGHH!" The phantom turned around and pointed a giant blade at the royal engineer.
Instead of running to the safezone that was less than a foot away, he flopped on the ground.
The heros spirit was flipping out, as Tetra was attempting to hit her head against the wall, forgetting she was a ghost and phased through it each time. Zeldas ghost however...
"I have a sudden unexplainable urge to possess objects and spraypaint them pink!" She yelled, flying into the armor. The green paint on it was suddenly pink and purple...
Prince Link opened his eyes to find a particularly pretty phantom standing before him.
"HEY BRO."
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!"Link screamed.
"CALM DOWN, IT'S JUST ME..."
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!"
"DON'T LOOK SO SCARED, ASPERIGUS HEAD."
"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!"
"SHUT YOUR FRIGGIN MOUTH, I'M ZELDA. YOUR SISTER."
By this time, the little prince had passed out from lack of oxygen.
...
Meanwhile, at the top of the tower...
Shi no Tori was playing the harp, very nicely, I might add.
"Hey, COOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" She stopped playing it. "COOOOLLLLLLEEEEE! COLE COLE COOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
"Great Ganon, Heathen... What do you want?!" The chancellor exclaimed.
"Hi."
There was an adorable giggle from the Demon Princess Madallus as the evil leprechaun did a hilarious dance of frustration.
"UHG! BRYAN, WHY DO THESE GIRLS LISTEN TO YOU MORE THAN ME!"
"his name's Byrne..." Tori rolled her eyes.
"Byrne..." Madallus repeated slowly.
Byrne was wearing some reading glasses and carfully reading a book titled: The aspiring villains complete guide to raising obedient super villain children. Written by Bowser.
"Because I have studied in child psychology." He said in his monotone voice. He held up a certificate from one of the best schools in the known great sea, the Regal Outset Year-round Glorified Braniac Institution for Viliains. (Roy G Biv, as it is abriviated. rainbows...)
"You went to school?!" The evil leprechauns jaw dropped.
...
The royal train engineer finally woke up to three ghosts floating above his head.
"Okay, Lincoln Isaiah Nathdaniel Kornelius the first, are we calm now?" Zelda used his full name.
Lincoln stood up. "Don't use my real name... the fangirls hate it..."
A cricket chirped.
"He has fangirls?!" The one actually named Link asked Tetra.
(Don't hate me...)
"Okay Link, I'm going to possess the phantom armor again... so I need you to remain calm..." Zelda spoke.
Link nodded.
With that, the ghost of his dead sister flew into the armor and it became pink once again.
The ghosts of Tetra and Link sighed. "We're gonna get sued..."
The metal armored disembodied soul of his only sibling suddenly realized. "This is totally like that anime we watched once... Two siblings, ones soul stuck in armor, the other's a blond midget with an irrational fear of m-"
"Zelda, don't make this worse! The fourth wall is sacred here!" Prince Lincoln Isaiah Nathdanial Kornel- Prince Link stopped her.
Zelda realized the error of her ways and started un-subtly referencing it.
"BUT WHAT A DAY... FIRST I LOSE MY BODY, AND NOW MY SOUL IS STUCK IN THIS ARMOR..."
"Zel..." Link sighed.
"HEY, IT'S MISSING SOMETHING..." Zelda noted. "WOULD YOU MIND DRAWING SOMETHING INSIDE?" She asked, removing the helmet.
Link sighed, pulling out a red marker. "Fine..." He drew a very familiar seal.
The ghosts on the other hand were flipping out over the possibility of a lawsuit.
"NOW LET'S GET THE PHILOSOPHERS STONE SO WE CAN GET MY BODY BACK!" Zelda struck a pose.
"Or... we could just go after Chancellor Cole..." Link sighed as he and the sentient hunk of metal opened a huge door.
~Floor two~
Link and Zelda stood on two switches that opened a door. They entered, when suddenly...
"GEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!" Link started cowering.
"THEY'RE JUST RATS..." Zelda picked them up in her armor.
"Hey, another phantom. Link pointed out. "Except... that one's weird..."
"SOCIAL ACTIVITY!" Zelda walked over the spikes.
"Hello, how goes the patrol?" The other phantom asked in a little kids voice.
"Pretty good, pretty good... Totally not helping a blond midget get up the tower and I'm totally not this midgets sister who got trapped in armor." Zelda stopped speaking in all caps.
"I AM NOT A MIDGET WHO CAN'T REACH THE COUNTERTOPS!" Link uncharictaristiclly screeched from the distance. (Nobody said that you were, Link)
"That sounds like my brother... I've gotta tell Ed about this later..." The strange-looking phantom responded. (AL!)
"By the way, sweet armor."
"Yeah... It costed an arm and a leg though..." (Please don't kill me...)
"Can we pass?" Zelda asked.
"Sure, sure." The odd looking phantom hit a switch behind them and spikes disappeared, allowing the blond midget to walk over.
The duo thanked the phantom and walked up to the next floor.
"I wonder if they tried to transmute someone as well..." Al said quietly.
~Third floor~
Zelda had sadly parted ways with her metal armor. Needless to say, she was busy grieving the loss of being clearly intimidating. (Was she, was she really?)
"Hey Zelda, railmap!" Link smiled, reaching for the- He couldn't reach it, could he...
"Quiet bro, I'm greiving..."
It was then that the weird phantom walked through the door.
"ALPHONSE ELRIC TO THE RESCUE!" He picked up the railmap and gave it to Link.
"We knew it..." The ghosts of Link and Tetra sighed.
The ghosts and Link suddenly disappeared, leaving Al all alone.
~Tower of Spirits enterance~
"What in the?" Zelda asked, returning to her normal inteligence.
"I stole Alex Louis Armstrongs sparkles..." Link was covered in sparkles for some reason, and back to his normal inteligence as well. (Who Is he, you may ask? He's the guy in FMA who won't put on a friggin shirt, and might be half vampire because he sparkles)
"So you've returned..." Anjean nodded.
"I miss my armor..." Zelda was still sad about it...
"Zelda, we're going to sea of trees! Hop in!" Link was in the spirit train which had three phonebooks glued to where he stood. He indeed couldn't reach the countertops by himself.
...
"Ahhh... Driving a train is fun..." Grovyle was driving, as Kagu was blowing the whistle. (The dessert train is so much fun!)
"When did you have time to learn how to drive if your younger than me, and have been in the shop the whole time?"
"It's a pretty easy system. We've got a whistle that we pull, a gearbox with four settings, and a fairly easy remote control cannon. No wonder someone as stupid as his royal highness can operate it..."
Kagu looked up at the strange purple mana ball floating down. "Umm... Grovyle...?!"
"Yeah?"
The train suddenly became an evil looking train.
"NO! MY HARD WORK HAS BECOME A WRECK!"
...
Link and Zelda were currently driving their train out of the tower
"I can't believe we met one of the Elric brothers... And didn't stay longer!" Zelda pouted whilst trying to mimic sitting on top of the train.
"Go complain in the passenger car..." The prince waved his hand dismissively.
"Can't." She answered.
"Why not?"
"Our ancestors are... busy..." She pointed in.
The royal engineers eyes widened, for inside, the two ghosts were sparring. The ghost of Link held a ghostly master sword, as Tetra had a jeweled cutless.
"Nothing inside will be damaged, nor will you... but a newly disembodied spirit can still experience pain appar- HOLY SPIRITS OF GOOD, WHAT THE FRICK IS THAT?!"
She was reffering to the evil looking train heading right for them.
...
"Kags, the controls aren't working..." Grovyle looked pale.
"How would you react to me saying another train is heading this way?" Kagu looked just as pale.
Grovyle started to panic, as did Kagu.
...
"Zelly-Chan, what do we dooooo!" Link cried. "We can't escape because reversing would only take us to the tower and we'd still crash!
"I don't know! You're the one with the liscence! I'm a disembodied spirit!"
"Do you think if we ask the spirits of good really nicely, then our main character status will instantly protect us somehow?" The prince asked.
"Yeah, Let's do that..." Zelda sighed.
...
"Why did you throw my ocarina out the window?!" Kagu looked like she had seen a ghost.
"I'm sorry! I panicked!" Grovyle said defensively.
"That was the ocarina of time! We could've used it!"
"WAAAAHHH! I'M SORRY!"
...
The prince was suddenly pegged in the face with a speeding deus ex ocarina.
"What the..." He stared, getting up.
The world suddenly became a blank void...
"Where am I?" The prince asked. "Sister, ancestors?"
"So you got the ocarina, eh?" A kid in green was sitting on a chair or something. It was hard to tell.
"Spirits of good!" The prince screamed.
"Aww Din, you shouldda seen your face..." The boy laughed, then smirked deviously. "You're kinda short to be my decendants decendant..."
His royal highness had the eyes of Ganon when the comment was made. "We're the same height, you lilly-livered-pig-headed-dwarf!"
"Shut up tiny tot... You need to play the song of time!"
"The what?"
"The one that's been passed down by the royal family? Princess Zelda?"
"Big sis doesn't know that..."
"Oh good Fayore! That ocarina can make the clock reverse! Here's the fingering chart, here's the music sheet, here's the dang instrument, and here is the door!"
He pushed the train engineer back into reality, which included off a cliff apparently...
...
Link stared at the instrument in his hand.
"WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS!" Zelda rushed him.
...
"Gentlemen, it has been a privilage playing with you tonight..." The girls felt the need to quote Titanic.
The two musicians were playing a cello and violin. The song was called Autumn. (The actual last song played by the Titanics' band)
...
Right as the trains were about to crash, The prince played the song of soaring on accident, causing the royal pains to fly directly past the lost woods, whilst the musicians ended up in an air balloon with every instrument on their train, strangely enough...
...
"KYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAA!" Link screamed as he fell through the trees, into brambles, whitch led to twigs, and ultimately smashing into the sanctuary where a Lokomo with a green afro dude with the green afro stared, unblinking. "AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHH! IT'S TINGLE! HE'S COME TO DESTROY US ALL WITH FAIRY PO-"
He put on some glasses with rediculously thick lenses. "Your... Royal highness?!"
"I like... trains..."
(Outside)
Zeldas disembodied spirit floated around aimlessly.
It was then that the spirit train dropped gently onto the tracks.
"HOLY HELMAROC!" Zelda flipped out for a second. "That phrase is definately cursed..."
A ghost in green floated out of the train.
"Brother?!" Zelda screamed, then realizing it was the other Link. "Oh. My bad. Sorry Ancestor."
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Alternatively...
Link was suddenly pegged in the ear with a broken baton.
"Owwww... What the Lorule..." He pulled it out. "Is this how girls get their ears peirced?! They deserve so much more credit! This is painful!"
"Link!" Zelda yelled. "Focus! That's the wind waker! Ballad of the gales! Now!"
She then mimicked waving the baton. "Do what I do." She sang to the tune of the song.
Link waved the baton, and the train was picked up by a cyclone.
The destination was not quite clear though...
"WHERE THE LORULE ARE WE?!" Link screamed from the top of his great great great auntie Arylls house.
Speaking of, the elderly woman stepped out of the house with the current king and queen of Hyrule.
Link knew that if they saw the spirit train crashed in the water, their ancestors, and more importantly Zelda, it was Game Over...
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Grovyle: 'Ello! *waves*
Toonie Sama: I did nothing this chapter!
Pirate princess: You fought me and lost.
Prince Lincoln: I hate my real naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaammmmme...
Ghost princess: I'm going to get my own set of armor... And I'mma learn a-
Toonie Sama: No more Fullmetal Alchemist jokes!