AN: Up to 60 hours/week now z.z I'm so f-king tired… blegh.

In this chapter, Hiroki and Nowaki talk about jealousy and junk… thank you all for your kind reviews.

-.=.-.=.-

When Hiroki arrived home that night, he grimaced when he saw Nowaki's shoes. So the bastard had arrived home, early…

Great… now he'd have to deal with a disappointed Nowaki… but why hadn't Nowaki called or texted him? Reaching into his pocket, he found that his cell had been muted. Annoyed, he turned up the volume and checked his messages. He had about five.

(Akihiko) {15:21:42}: I saw your husband on TV.

(Kyouju) {16:01:15}: I saw your husband on TV!

(Mama) {16:38:59}: I saw Kusama-kun on TV!

(Papa) {16:55:06}: I saw your husband on TV.

(Nowaki) {17:10:33}: I got off early. Want to meet at the park?

Hiroki's head sunk guiltily as he hurried into the apartment.

Nowaki was sitting on the couch, watching TV with a sad expression on his face. Hiroki sighed, making his presence known.

"Nowaki?"

"Ah-!" Nowaki's face lit up and he turned off the TV, getting quickly to his feet and coming to greet Hiroki. "Welcome home, Hiro-sa…" he trailed off when he neared Hiroki and looked down at the floor, sadly.

Hiroki blinked. "What? What is it?"

"Nothing… how was your day?" Nowaki asked, quietly.

"Something wrong?" Hiroki huffed.

Nowaki's large, child-like eyes rose to meet Hiroki. He looked like an eight year old boy who hadn't receive an ice cream cone when everyone else had. "Where were you, Hiro-san?"

"At the café with Takatsuki-san."

"That girl?" Nowaki's brows furrowed slightly, though he tried to hide his annoyance.

"Yeah, why?"

"You smell like perfume."

Hiroki smirked, getting an idea. "Flowery perfume?"

"Yes." Nowaki looked sadly at Hiroki, misinterpreting the smirk.

"Speaking of flowers, I-"

"Hiro-san, are you," Nowaki cut him off and sighed sadly, averting his gaze. "Hiro-san, do you like girls?"

"No and you ruined my joke," Hiroki huffed.

"I'm sorry Hiro-san, but you spend so much time with that woman lately-"

"I've gone out with her two or three times to hang out. It's not like I've bought her flowers or anything-" Hiroki grinned, readying to reveal to his lover that he had found out about his commercial.

"But you see her more than you see me!" Nowaki exclaimed, too distracted by his jealousy and sadness to catch onto Hiroki's ploy.

"Ugh, we're just friends, Nowaki, quit getting all jealous, you're starting to piss me off!" Hiroki glared.

"'Just friends' like how you and Usami-san are 'just friends,' or how you and that Professor you work with are 'just friends' or how-?"

"What're you implying, Nowaki?" Hiroki glared. "They are all my friends!"

"Friends you've kissed at one point or another." Nowaki muttered, quickly averting his gaze. He was noticeably ashamed of his own behavior, but he'd obviously been bottling this up for quite some time.

Hiroki stared at him, annoyed. "Excuse me, but at what point in my life did I EVER kiss Professor Miyagi?"

"I saw you." Nowaki folded his arms. "Even if you claimed we were broken up, it's not like it's okay to go-"

"Oh, drop that, already!" Hiroki snapped. "That didn't even happen."

"What do you mean it didn't happen? I saw it with my own eyes."

"You saw our faces close, nothing happened! And then you went and hit him, like some kind of imbecile! He's my BOSS, Nowaki- you can't let your emotions run you, you know."

"I believe you came to the place I work at and hit my sempai, did you not? In a fit of jealous rage?"

Hiroki's eyes widened and he drew his lips in as his cheeks flushed red. After a moment of making a lot of guttural noises, he began stammering. "I- that was… that was different! You SLEPT with him!"

"I slept on the floor and he slept on the floor, Hiro-san, that's all there was to it. Your professor was obviously trying to kiss you."

"Whatever, that's over and done with. In any case, none of that has anything to do with Takatsuki-san."

"It's just that it seems like all of your friends have- at one point or another- expressed interest in you- not that I can blame them, because I think you're wonderful, Hiro-san, and I'm sure I'm not the only one to think so, I'd never expect that, but-"

"Nowakiiii," Hiroki sighed, annoyed. "Professor Miyagi was just dicking around. As for Akihiko, he never expressed interest in me."

"But you slept with him."

"And if I hadn't, you and I would never have met." Hiroki glared and Nowaki fell silent.

"So it was Usami-san that made you cry in the park. You slept with him and then felt sad about it."

"I felt sad because my feelings were never returned, but that never even crosses my mind anymore. I still care a lot about Akihiko, because he's a very dear friend to me and he always will be, but I care a hundred thousand million times more about you."

"Hiro-san." Nowaki blinked, happiness emanating from his aura.

"Ugh." Hiroki glared. "Nowaki, I saw you on TV."

"Mm?" Nowaki blinked, snapping out of it.

"On TV. You were on TV!" Hiroki placed his fists on his hips. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Oh?" Nowaki stared, blankly. "What are you talking about, Hiro-san?"

"Weren't you on TV? I saw you on a TV through a glass window- you were advertising those flowers for your old guy friend's shop."

"He's not that old, Hiro-san, he has a small child-"

"Still! Why didn't you say anything about it?"

"I don't know. It's no big deal, just a small floral ad."

Hiroki sighed. "When I showed your picture to Takatsuki-san, she thought you were a model or actor because she recognized you from TV, but couldn't place where."

"You showed my picture to her?" Nowaki's face lit up. That was something people don't do if they're cheating- not that Hiroki's statement hadn't already convinced him… for now.

"Yeah, she asked if you were handsome and kept gloating about that old bastard I work with, so I showed her your picture. That's how I found out you were on TV- then I saw you."

"Then, you're really just friends with Takatsuki-san?" Nowaki asked hesitantly.

"Yeah, of course." Hiroki huffed before sighing. "Nowaki… I may have said stuff in the past to lead you otherwise but I really don't like women- sexually, that is."

"Oh? Just men exclusively, Hiro-san?"

"Yeah," Hiroki huffed, folding his arms. "And just you, exclusively."

Nowaki's face lit up again and Hiroki fought back a blush. "So quit getting annoyed or jealous or whatever. It's nice to have a female friend to talk to. I want you to meet her."

"Then I'd feel happy to, Hiro-san!"

"Good. Because she's standing outside."

"Hello." A knock came at the door and Nowaki gawked, running over to it and opening it. "I'm so sorry! Hiro-san has no manners when it comes to guests."

"What the hell, bastard? It was a surprise."

"How's your ankle doing? I heard you hurt it last time," Nowaki asked her as she entered, smiling.

"It feels just fine, thanks." She smiled nervously, glancing at Hiroki like she wanted to ask something, but then turning her gaze up to Nowaki. "He's far more handsome in person."

"I told you," Hiroki huffed, and Nowaki gleamed delightedly.

"Well, it was a pleasure to meet you, Kusama-kun, but I really had better be going."

"I'll call you a cab," Nowaki offered.

"Oh no, we took my car- but thank you." She smiled.

"Oh, be careful, then."

"Don't go yet, have some tea or something," Hiroki huffed.

"I would if I could, but I've got to get to bed. I need to get up very early. I just wanted to meet your darling boyfriend." She smiled. "We haven't even been properly introduced."

"Kusama Nowaki, it's nice to meet you." Nowaki smiled, bowing politely and then offering out a card.

"Takatsuki Risako, a pleasure." She shook his card after bowing and offered one herself. She then glanced at Hiroki. "Maybe sometime the three of us can get together for coffee?"

"Certainly, I'd enjoy that very much."

Hiroki felt his skin prickle at the tone of Nowaki's voice. He was certain Risako couldn't sense anything, but he knew Nowaki well enough to tell he wasn't being sincere.

"Well, take care then, Kusama-kun!" Risako smiled, turning and heading off.

After the door closed, Hiroki tapped his fingers against his arm after folding both arms across his chest. "Hm."

"Hm?" Nowaki turned to him, sensing an argument coming on.

"It's funny. I always had this image of you before today; the only few incidences where I saw this side of you were with men… and only once or twice."

"What do you mean?" Nowaki looked hurt.

"You grabbed me away from Akihiko twice- once when we met and once within the past year… you could have easily killed professor Miyagi with that shove to his throat, and then you were going to keep hitting him. I never thought of you of a particularly violent or overly possessive person before, but I think I'm starting to-"

"I'm not violent!" Nowaki defended himself, brows furrowed in frustration. "And in any case, you're one to talk! You throw things at your students, don't you?"

"Gently."

Nowaki narrowed his eyes, unbelievingly. "You've thrown books, bags, and other miscellaneous objects at me more times than I can count. If you're concerned I'm going to do something violent to Takatsuki-san, you have no need to worry."

"What if she were a man?" Hiroki huffed.

"She's not, or you wouldn't be hanging out with her- you said so yourself. You like hanging out with her because spending time around women is nice."

"I'm just sensing something, Nowaki. I ask for future reference. Am I not allowed to have male friends if I'm going to be with you?"

"I don't complain when you and that university professor 'Miyagi' or whatever his name is go out for drinks all night long, or if you stay the night at Usami-san's place discussing books or reading manuscripts or whatever it is that you do- it's not like I think you're going to cheat, it just makes me sad, is all. Forgive me for feeling sour when my lover chooses to spend time with others instead of with me when we see each other so rarely, as it is."

"It's not like that, Nowaki. Your schedule is unpredictable! If you want to see me more often, quit that stupid florist job! It's going to be the death of you, anyway!"

"Well I can't quit now, I just did that advertisement and gave my name out on TV so people could refer to me and get a discount. If I quit, it'll be worthless."

"That's the stupidest argument I've ever heard! Okay, so quit after the sale ends!"

"Why should I quit? It's not like you're going to stop hanging out with your friends."

"Damn straight, I'm not, and I shouldn't have to. You're missing the point, here, Nowaki! My friends are good for me, your job is horrible for you."

"The florist who works there is my friend!"

"Yeah, and you don't see me getting jealous of him!"

"That's different! He's married and has children!"

"Oh, so I can't have single friends?"

"Takatsuki-san is a cheater!"

Hiroki's eyes widened.

"You said so yourself, right? Your boss got a divorce because his wife cheated on him! If she was his wife, then that would make Takatsuki-san a cheater, right? So what makes you think I won't fear for the worst when it comes to the two of you?"

"Don't call her that," Hiroki snapped, glaring.

"You don-!"

"Shut up, Nowaki."

Nowaki blinked, hurt.

"Takatsuki-san is my friend. I like her. So don't go saying horrible things about her. There're two sides to every story, Nowaki. I did something stupid to get Akihiko to like me- something I'm not proud of. It didn't work. Takatsuki-san did some stupid things she's not proud of to get professor Miyagi's attention. It's stupid, but it's human error, Nowaki."

"So should I go do something shameful and stupid to get you to pay attention to me?" Nowaki asked, annoyed.

"You are."

Nowaki looked like he could very easily cry. Averting his gaze, he spoke up after a moment. "The more you rationalize why she's not a bad person for cheating, the more I fear you could very easily cheat, Hiro-san."

"Nowaki." Hiroki raised a hand up and gripped Nowaki's chin in his fingers, glaring at his eyes. "Look at my eyes. Tell me if you think I would really cheat on you- ever."

Nowaki's gaze locked onto his lover's for a long, quiet moment before he sighed.

"I don't think you'll cheat, Hiro-san."

"Good. Now say it and mean it."

"I do mean it."

"What reason would I have for cheating on you?"

"You don't need a reason- just a situation."

"So you think I'm too weak and horny to keep a promise?"

"What promise?" Nowaki pushed his hand away. "You act like the prospect of getting married, getting rings, or doing that sort of thing to symbolize our union are stupid, trite, and nugatory. How can you expect me to feel confident under these conditions? We share the same apartment, but we have our own rooms. Your parents know we're together, but you refuse to introduce me as anything more than your friend or roommate. You say you love me endlessly, but you're ashamed to hold my hand in public, and you scold me any time I show you open displays of affection. You even have to be in just the right mood to have sex! At what point am I supposed to feel loved, Hiro-san? Even if you did cheat on me, you know I'd take you back. You know I'd cling to you. But I took your advice and went to America, came back, and you dumped me. You're always… you're always shattering any confidence I have."

Hiroki sighed. He sort of figured this talk was coming. It'd been coming for nearly eight years.

"I got three texts today from three different people. They all referred to you as my husband- one of them was even from my dad."

Nowaki didn't respond. He wasn't sure if Hiroki was going anywhere with this.

"If they can tell, and I try to keep it hidden, then why can't you?" Hiroki folded his arms. "I do love you endlessly, Nowaki. Do I really have to say it ten times a day for you to believe it? What the fuck does a ring signify? It doesn't keep straight people from divorcing, obviously. We celebrate holidays together, make love at least fifty times a month, what more do you want?"

"Fifty times a week."

Hiroki gaped at his lover, but seeing that he'd cheered up a little, he glared.

"You cheeky bastard."

"Your father referred to me as your husband?"

"Yeah." Hiroki averted his gaze, flushing. "He may have been teasing, but I doubt it. Mom's more sensitive to my pride. She just said Kusama-kun."

"Why were they texting you about me?"

"The ad."

"Oh."

"Look, Nowaki, I love my job, and I love my life. It's not perfect but I've got a great job, and semi-okay friends, and I have you. I couldn't ask for anything more but not everyone is tolerant of us, and while I don't feel like we should just accept that, it's not like we can make all that drastic a change without becoming activists."

"We don't have to be activists, Hiro-san. We just have to be good people, and be ourselves. When people see that homosexuals are good people too, they may change their thinking. You said the chairman was surprisingly open, right?"

"His brat's a homo."

"Still," Nowaki sighed. "If an old and relatively conventional man like him is accepting, it just goes to show you that you can't really tell who is and who's not, and I think, for the most part, people don't really care that much- except religious people, but still..."

"I understand where you're coming from Nowaki, but it's not like it's about being gay- I just… I'm not an affectionate person in public. I admonish my students for being all love-dovey in public- my heterosexual students. So, it's just my personality."

"Is it? Or are you using that as a cover?" Nowaki asked.

"I've always been like this."

"You've always been gay, haven't you?"

Hiroki sighed. "I don't know, but I'm tired of arguing. And I'm tired of stressing out over this stupid Takatsuki-san thing… so I guess I'm just going to have to tell her… I'll just tell her I can't hang out with her, anymore."

"Mm." Nowaki gave an appreciative nod and Hiroki glowered.

"YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO TELL ME THAT'S NOT NECESSARY, YOU STUPID BASTARD!"

"I knew you were being insincere," Nowaki huffed.

"Forget it! I'm not going to stop being friends with people just because you don't like them!"

"Good, you shouldn't," Nowaki sighed. "I'll try not to be inappropriately suspicious."

"Y-you will?" Hiroki glared, unconvinced.

"I said I'll try. So yes, I will try."

"Fair enough," Hiroki sighed. "Text me when you know you'll be free, and I'll try to make it home or meet you half way, even if I have plans."

"If it's Hiro-san's friends and me, it's not too bad, but I do prefer having Hiro-san all to myself."

"Yeah, I know," Hiroki sighed. "Well, it's late. Let's get to bed."

"Hiro-san, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to give you the impression that I'm violent or overly possessive- although I still side with the fact that you are a hundred times more jealous, possessive, and violent than I am… I'll try to become less jealous for Hiro-san."

"I'll try to be less of a coward about showing affection in public."

"It's okay. I want Hiro-san to be comfortable. I don't want to inconvenience you in any way, shape, or form."

"Yeah, well, we'd better get to it if we're aiming for fifty a week."

Nowaki stared, confused, before his cheeks etched with pink. "Ah- yes. Yes we should."

"Idiot."

-.=.-.=.-

AN: A little more drama in this chapter- hope this one wasn't too bad. I've been pretty tired, so I dunno if my stuff is any good or not. Way too tired to even use proper grammar… myeeeegh… off to sleep.