- In The Dark -
Authoress Ramble: I'm back with another chapter. Nothing more to say then; Radiohead - Creep. Fucking awesome song ;)
Warnings: Abuse, angst, torture, laguage, violence and such. Rated 'M'.
Disclaimer: Jag äger inte Harry Potter, JKR gör det ;)
Chapter Eleven: Falling Back Into Depression
"I'll see you guys later, I have to do something" Harry called as they left the classroom. The first lesson with Nuit had been very instructive, he had spent the rest of the class answering questions and talking about similarities between real vampires and the once in the stories. For example, real vampires didn't have a problem with garlic, but they couldn't handle crosses or holy water.
Harry made his way over to the common room, he yawned and spoke the password to the fat lady. The common room was empty it was lunch and the most students were down in the great hall. He went up the stairs to the dormitory, where he threw down his bag onto the floor with a small thump.
Sighing he sat down on his bed and rubbed his temples, he had started to feel dizzy in class and had a magure headache. He clutched his sore chest. Why was he feeling this way? He thought that everything would be fine, he hadn't thought about the abuse since he and Ron left the hospital wing to go flying, although madame Pomfrey had warned him about it.
A new wave of dizziness swept over him and black spots clouded his eyes. He lay down on his bed and pressed his cool hands against his forehead. Maybe if he just lay there instead until the next class he would feel better. Was he only imagining it or was his chest throbbing?
His mouth felt dry and his breaths quickened. The black spots were growing and the room felt more and more distant. Everything was so quiet, his ears were throbbing and he could almost hear his rapid heart beat.
He felt a pressure on his chest, like a huge stone was pressed against his fragile form. It was blocking the air trying to get to his lungs. Darkness took over as his eyes fluttered closed and he began to wheeze in an attempt to get air, the lack of it was starting to make him giddy.
His eyes felt heavy and he didn't know if he had fallen asleep of simply fainted, all he could see was the darkness devouring him
"Aaw..."a voiced mocked and images begin to form in front of Harry."Didn't you like our little game?"
Harry whimpered and Vernon laughed evilly, grabbing both of the boy's arms and pulling him into Harry's bedroom. He let go and his nephew's arms fell down limp at each of his sides. Vernon then picked him up again and threw him on to the small bed
in the corner of the room. There was a pair of manacles around the bedpost and Harry shuddered when he noticed them. His uncle grabbed his wrists and chained them to the bed. Harry began to struggle weakly but the chains held him tightly.
Vernon undid his belt, smirking evilly, and Harry began to thrash and kick frantically. His uncle approached him, his belt raised in the air, and brought it down onto Harry's chest. The imprisoned boy's scream of agony filled the room followed by the sound of the belt once again coming in contact with flesh.
The boy lost count of the number of times the belt hit him. Only a couple of seconds later, the blood began to flow freely down his chest--his shirt had been ripped open and was smothered in fresh blood.
The piercing pain increased with every lash, as his skin was slashed open repeatedly. Red marks were covering his pale skin, hidden under the blood streaming down over his stomach and dripping on to the white sheets, creating a sickeningly large red puddle. Vernon became tired of the belt and threw it aside. He began to search through his pockets and pulled out a big knife.
"Harry" Someone was shaking him.
"No" he whispered and tried to pull away from the tight grip on his arms.
"Harry!"
He began to thrash around in the bed and fell to the floor with a thump. He lay still on the floor without any energy at all to move, he slowly opened his heavy eyelids and squinted to get a better look through his blurry view.
He could clearly make out two pairs of feet moving towards him and raised his head to see a red mop of hair. He let Ron and Hermione pull him up to his feet and the two of the helped him to sit down on his bed. He reached out and grabbed his glasses from the nightstand.
He was shaking badly and cold sweat ran down his pale forehead. Ron sat down on the edge of the bed next to his best friend and stared at him reassuringly trying to make him feel better - it wasn't working at all.
"Harry" Hermione whispered. "What happened? We came here to get you, you missed lunch and charms" Harry shrugged, he had wanted to avoid this subject, he knew where it was going and what she would ask later.
"I came up here to rest a little and fell asleep. Had a nightmare" He explained, it wasn't a lie but still not the whole truth. He hated to lie to his friend but he knew that if he told them about everything they would take him to madame Pomfrey without doubt.
"About what?" The brown haired girl inquired, Harry knew that she would continue to push him futher about it until she got an answer.
"Was it Voldemort?" He stayed silent for a couple of second, debating to himself if he should tell the truth. He slowly nodded his head 'Yes' and felt slightly guilty about lying to his best friends, but they couldn't know, Harry didn't want to go back to the infirmary, he knew that Dumbledore would insist that he had to talk to someone about it to help him through it and he didn't feel ready for it.
"It happeneds all the time, I'm fine" He said. "Honestly, Dumbledore said that it was normal with nightmares now when Voldemort was getting stronger." Hermione and Ron seemed to believe him and nodded. Harry put on a fake but reassuring smile and grabbed his bag from the floor. He ignored the headache and empty feeling in the pit of his stomach.
"Let's go" He said to Ron and Hermione. "I don't want to miss another class today, first day remember. Herbology right?" Ron shrugged and Hermione nodded, Harry rolled his eyes, laughing and followed his friends down to the common room. They had to run down to the greenhouse but still got five minutes late.
"Like I said before mr Potter, mr Weasley and miss Granger came bursting in five minutes late" Professor Sprout spoke to the class as the trio sat down at a table in the back with Neville, they were all panting heavily and their cheeks were flushed from running so far. Hermione looked so embarrased about getting late, the first day and all.
Professor Sprout had docked fifteen points from gryffindor, one for every minutes they were late and each one of them. Neville smiled brightly at the trio. Harry smiled back, he had always liked Neville, he was a true friend and a great person, someone just needed to tell him that more often.
His favorite subject was herbology and he was the only gryffindor besides the trio in the class, mostly there were hufflepuffs and ravenclaws, Malfoy and his croonies had not chosen to continue with the subject, nor Pansy and her little group of slytherin girls. In fact the only slytherin in the class was Blaise Zabini, Harry was surprised he had always thought that all the slytherins would drop herbology. When he thought about slytherins he didn't exactly see them as people who enjoyed working with plants.
Zabini was a tall, tan boy with dark ebony hair, his deep brown eyes were dazzling and held a mysterious glint in them. Harry didn't know much about the taller boy except from that he was a friend of Malfoy. Blaise were leaning back in his chair with his feet stretched out under the table and his arms behind his head.
He was sitting with Terry Boot, the brown haired ravenclaw. He was staring at Blaise suspiciously, they had not chosen to sit together exactly. When Blaise had gotten to class there had only been two tables with room left, with Terry or Neville and everyone knew that slytherins did not hang out with gryffindors.
Blaise closed his eyes with a look of pure bliss upon his face, he licked his lips slowly. His cherry coloured tongue caressing his lower lip in what seemed like slow motion. Harry noticed Terry staring at him and he had to stop himself from snorting. Was Zabini trying to get Terrys attention?
Harry shook away the thought and tried to pay attention to professor Sprout but he simply couldn't keep his mind to her lecture
He had a certain urge to use his pensieve, ligthen his mind. He knew that it didn't help completely but his heart did feel lighter and his mind clearer every time he placed some of his bad memories within.
"Harry?" Ron nudged his side lightly. "What are you thinking about?" Harry shrugged.
"Nothing really" He said. "I'm pretty bored, I want to go flying or simply be anywhere else but here right now" Ron eyed professor Sprout for a second and turned his attention back to Harry.
"Harry, you don't look to good" He said loudly, Hermione broke away her gaze from the professor and looked at her friend, biting her lower lip. "You're pale and.." He placed his hand on Harry's forehead. A few more people turned around and stared at the two. "You're burning up, are you feeling ill?"
Harry blinked before he understood what he was doing, professor Sprout had stopped talking and were with the rest of the class staring at him. He nodded and ran a hand through his hair, ruffling it slightly.
"A little" He said weakly, Ron looked like he was holding in a snigger, but took a small breath and kept his face straight.
"Maybe you should get some rest" He suggested and shot him a meaningful look. "I mean if your not feeling well, that is" Harry stood up and grabbed his bag. He walked over to professor Sprout.
"I think I need to go and see madame Pomfrey" he said and coughed weakly. He could hear Ron snort from behind and held a grin playing on his tongue. Professor Sprout nodded.
"Of course if you're not feeling well, mr Potter" She said. Harry turned around and walked to the door, he met Ron's gaze who winked at him and left the greenhouse.
He ran back to the castle and wondered where to go as he remebered why he had left at all; the pensieve. He had to gather himself up so he could get through the rest of the day. So he ran back to the common room, to his dormitory. He got a strong feeling of deja vu as he threw down the bag on the floor.
This time he walked over to the pensieve at once. He picked up the wand from his pocket and pointed it at his temple. He leant closed to the stone object and closed his eyes tightly.
Pain. Pain. Pain. He could not see, not hear, not talk nor move. The only thing he could register was the large amount of pain
in his body. Punch after punch landed on his poor, defenceless, bruised form. Kick after kick collided with his already bloody figure.
A thin silver line was forming from his head as the memory, the pain, replayed itself inside of his head. He was so lost in his memory. A soft hissing was heard inside of his head. The sudden noise made him jerk, the connection broke and Harry pulled his sore hand against his chest, he had hit something hard.
He opened his eyes just in time to see his pensieve fall down to the ground, he reached out to grab it but it was too late. It hit the hard floor with such an force that it split in two.
Harry gasped as his thoughts and memories ran out to the ground. The silvery substance disappeared and turned into grey fumes in the air.
Like an invisible force Harry flew back a few meters onto the floor, his back aching from the fall. He tried to sit up but it was like something was holding him back down.
He slowly lifted his head and stared at the pensieve, the fumes were swirling quickly and turned into shades of black and dark grey, mixing into each other.
"BOY! GET DOWN HERE" The voice echoed through the room, it wasn't in his mind. He could hear it clealy, along with soft whimpers and sobs.
More voices rang through the air but all from the same person.
"Worthless freak!"
Harry was shaking badly right now because of the tension in the air. He had put all his horrible memories inside that pensieve and now he were stuck with them inside of that room.
He could feel the hate, taste the blood hear the taunting laughter.
The fumes - the memories - were swirling faster and faster, it began to flow around in the room like it was looking for something. Harry began to doze off. A bright light appeared in front of him and it took him several second to realized that it was the memories, they had turned into a white shade and soared above him.
A cold sensation swept through him as the fumes touch his skin and went into his body. The voices became louder and didn't feel as distant anymore, it was like someone was shouting inside of his head.
The memories replayed themselves in his mind like he was actually there.
"GOOD-FOR-NOTHING WASTE OF SPACE" Harry groaned, it felt like someone was kicking him in the stomach, he curled up into a tight ball to protect himself.
Vernon raised his fist and jammed into his nephews face.
Harry grabbed his nose and he felt a sensation of something prickling down, touching his lips lightly, running down onto his chin and dripping onto the floor. It was impossible for him to protect himself from something that wasn't there. What was happening?
A heavy boot collieded with Harry's chest.
Harry gasped as the wind was knocked out of him and his vision was fading away. The white light around him entered him and more and more memories played itself to him, the pain, so real that it was scary.
Darkness embraced him but not even then the memories stopped, the pain never left and neither did that taunting voice inside of his head;
"Didn't you like our little games?"